I'm So Happy They Did
When I stumbled upon this site, January 2007, I never thought of it as home or how I would become a better person from finding such a place. I never once thought that here I'd be able to find someone who understood my situation, my actions or my vulnerability within myself and my addiction. I never expected someone to create such a wonderful and educational site for recovering addicts but I'm so happy they did.
My first post here was only to let out frustration and madness that rested so dormant around my addiction and the secrecy of it. That one post, that one "click" to submit made it all happen. I must have read what I wrote several times before it hit me that "Umm, helloooooooo? I sent this via the internet. What the hell was I thinking? I just informed a bazillion (as my son used to say) people that I was a female addict." I never expected anyone to actually respond back to that silly ranting post of mine but I'm so happy they did.
Unfortunately, it took me so many times at striking out before I finally said I'm done with this burden. I'm done with this addiction. I want to find home. Ya know, this site means more to me than just "hi, I'm quit." See, I never expected anyone to extend their hand out in friendship while traveling such stormy seas but I'm so happy you did.
-mylilsecret
psssst .. GUESS WHAT!
I never expected someone to show you this but I'm so happy they did. =) Happy Quit Day!
You know what MLS, you are so right on the money here its scary.
When I quit dipping on 4/22/2007, I had no idea what was about to happen. The next day at work I put "quitting chew" or something to that effect into a search engine and found killthecan.org. I spent a big part of that day searching around it. I read a bunch of articles, found a link to some chat thing, another forum something or other, some pics of what my certain fate was if I kept dipping, and then I found the
What to Expect page. When I saw that my heart sank and I realized I was in for a tough road, but I was ready. Everyday for the next 70 days I read and reread what I was going through and was going to go through. Each time I read it, I made the resolve to make the next milestone. I was always curious about that forum thing but never checked it out because it was most likely like that myspace thing I had heard so many negative things about.
At the 70 something day mark I was in a bad way, completely sick and tired of quitting. If I never had to concentrate on quitting again it would be worth the likelyhood of a horrible fate. But I gave that forum thing a try. I didn't expect to be accepted, I didn't expect to be believed that I was really on day 70 something. But you know what, I was and it really matter to me.
Because of that I have made some great friendships, personally met close to 20 quitters, and most importantly done some incredible healing that has very likely saved my life. Its an incredible thing. Our cool aid is pretty tasty.
Sorry to get all nostalgic and all but "I'm So Happy They Did".
