Here I am (again and for the last time) posting my 100 days. I can't believe it. I really didn't think 4 months ago I was going to be able to do this. I gave every excuse in the book on why it was okay to dip while my world was falling apart all around me. I almost lost my marriage, I mean seriously almost lost my marriage because of this shit. I put my wife and my kids (and my body) through hell. After I had started dipping again well over a year ago, I kept it very secret. Eventually I knew my wife would find out, and she did last August. From August until my quit day this past January, it was a nightmare.
Listen and listen well. Spread this message to anyone you know who has an addiction - You never will want to quit until you've quit. Think about that. I've given the excuses, seen other people giving excuses, but it's true - you never will want to quit until you've quit. Once those first 30 days are past, you'll realize you're quit - the urges subside, you feel better, and you'll know it's what you wanted.
I'm owning this shit. For the first time in all the times I've tried to quit, this one's for me. I've always quit for others; that's a noble thing to do, but it has to be for yourself first.
The other thing I pledge to do, as much as I can, and as far as I can, is to never stop posting roll on this site. I truly believe the reason I went back to dipping is because I stopped posting here. Giving that daily pledge holds you accountable, and starts the day off right - you make a conscious effort. I never thought a community web forum would be strong enough to provide enough support to help addicts quit; but KTC can and does. It might not be as professional or polished as some would like, hell, I've seen others leave because it's too tough; but let me tell you KTC is the kick in the nuts you need. Keep it up KTC, you're doing God's work.
Thank you to my fellow April quitters and to all the supporters for April Asstros and supporters posting on our page outside of our group. Thanks to my wife and kids for your support and to the strength of the almighty who's helped me fight this fight. Here's to being A New Man. Phillipians 4:13
