Author Topic: I'm Back. I'm Dumb.  (Read 58221 times)

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Offline wastepanel

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #571 on: January 26, 2018, 08:36:00 AM »
I fucking love being quit.

It sucked sometimes. That was temporary. I've never regretted it and I love everything that I've discovered about myself and my friends here. I'll quit again today.

Day 2406

Thrice-Burn the Fleet
Quote from: Thrice
In this dark night we stand or fall
We are kings now, or nothing at all
Check your armor; Light up your torch
Touch the flame to the sail before you head for shore

And we will burn the fleet
We can never go home
It's on to victory or under ground
Burn the fleet, we'll be heroes or ghosts
But we won't be turned around

The old flag will burn with the sail
And a new one won't fly if we fail
But the fire continues to rise
And it shows not a hint of any fear in our eyes

Burn the fleet, we can never go home
It's on to victory or under ground
Burn the fleet, we'll be heroes or ghosts
But we won't be turned around
In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021

Offline AppleJack

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #570 on: September 20, 2017, 12:28:00 PM »
Quote from: wastepanel
My busted tooth

I came to life musically in the late 90s. I do love me some grunge but (damn) did bands like Korn and Slipknot really open my eyes to metal. I believe I spent the entire summers of 98 and 99 just partying at concerts and festivals. I saw some really good shit. I saw some really strange shit too. It was all good.

During Ozzfest 98 (helluva concert less Megadeath who was awful!), we made our way to the front of the crowd to see Limp Bizkit. Now...wait. This was Limp Bizkit before 3 dollar bill y'all even hit it big. This is prior to Fred fucking Britney Spears and being a doosh. This was when Fred recognized us as guys that showed up to a lot of concerts that they happened to open for. Anyways, Limp Bizkit was the shit and we were having a good time as always.

Then came the crowd surfer...

When you crowd surf, you are carried by the crowd from your point and to the front of the audience. Once there, you are tossed at security and return back to the crowd. As you do this, you're supposed to lay flat and keep your feet pointed up. In fact, at the front, you have to be really careful not to drop your legs as you will kick a ton of people in the back of the head. Well, apparently nobody told Ms. CrowdSurfer this that day. As she approached the front, she dropped her legs and kicked 3 of us in the back of the head. All of our heads went forward with weight of her body and our heads were driven into the steel bar separating security from audience. I came up (head ringing) and smiled at my buddies. My front tooth was cracked and gone.

Fuck.

It took me about a year to work myself into going to the dentist. I was chewing like crazy and avoided the dentist at all costs. But once I made the appointment, they got it fixed pretty easily and with minimal preaching about my "habit".

Well, I continued to chew and I continued avoided the dentist. That busted tooth has been fine and I've stopped and started a few times since 99. Had a nice little stoppage going in 2006 until I fucked that up royally. Didn't get quit until 2011 (2278 today) and (don't judge me) just went back to the dentist since 1999. I have two boys and my fears shouldn't fuck with their health. I went and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be/could be. I got a deep cleaning and people were amazed that I knew when I quit. I got a lot of pats on the back and compliments on what I've accomplished.

Yesterday, as they were cleaning my teeth, I realized how strange my busted tooth felt as they worked on it. With every scrape and prod on my real teeth, I felt it. But that fake tooth just felt like pulling. It was an odd feeling as I forget on a daily basis that I have a piece of porcelain anchoring my smile. It was then that I realized how odd the foreign material was when they put it in. As it has a gold crown behind it, I get a little spark every time I put a gum wrapper in my mouth and it hurts. My tongue navigated the surface thousands of time before deciding it was not a danger. I've learned to live with this crown and consider it a part of me now. It's only when somebody is scraping and pulling at it that I realize it is not.

My quit is quite the same. Once, I was whole. I wasn't addicted to anything and (because of a series of decisions) I became addicted. Once I was addicted, there is no going back to what was. I can crown the broken piece of me or I can walk around and explain what happened to me. Yes, the quit felt odd initially. It wasn't natural to me at that point. But now that I am 6 years into this, my quit is a part of me. I often talk about quitting as a pendulum. It swings from bad to good and so on until it settles eventually. The key is to know that there will be good when times are bad. During these times of good, we practice for the bad. In times of bad, we lean on what we practiced. Well, now my quit is a part of my life. I live my quit and it is a part of me. However, there are times when I get a scraping or get reminded that I'm sporting a busted tooth. That doesn't make me weak for realizing that I have to work on my quit. It makes me a quitter.

Keep it up everybody.
Holy hell, that was some good shiz right there!

Well said brutha...
Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten.

Offline wastepanel

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #569 on: September 20, 2017, 08:33:00 AM »
My busted tooth

I came to life musically in the late 90s. I do love me some grunge but (damn) did bands like Korn and Slipknot really open my eyes to metal. I believe I spent the entire summers of 98 and 99 just partying at concerts and festivals. I saw some really good shit. I saw some really strange shit too. It was all good.

During Ozzfest 98 (helluva concert less Megadeath who was awful!), we made our way to the front of the crowd to see Limp Bizkit. Now...wait. This was Limp Bizkit before 3 dollar bill y'all even hit it big. This is prior to Fred fucking Britney Spears and being a doosh. This was when Fred recognized us as guys that showed up to a lot of concerts that they happened to open for. Anyways, Limp Bizkit was the shit and we were having a good time as always.

Then came the crowd surfer...

When you crowd surf, you are carried by the crowd from your point and to the front of the audience. Once there, you are tossed at security and return back to the crowd. As you do this, you're supposed to lay flat and keep your feet pointed up. In fact, at the front, you have to be really careful not to drop your legs as you will kick a ton of people in the back of the head. Well, apparently nobody told Ms. CrowdSurfer this that day. As she approached the front, she dropped her legs and kicked 3 of us in the back of the head. All of our heads went forward with weight of her body and our heads were driven into the steel bar separating security from audience. I came up (head ringing) and smiled at my buddies. My front tooth was cracked and gone.

Fuck.

It took me about a year to work myself into going to the dentist. I was chewing like crazy and avoided the dentist at all costs. But once I made the appointment, they got it fixed pretty easily and with minimal preaching about my "habit".

Well, I continued to chew and I continued avoided the dentist. That busted tooth has been fine and I've stopped and started a few times since 99. Had a nice little stoppage going in 2006 until I fucked that up royally. Didn't get quit until 2011 (2278 today) and (don't judge me) just went back to the dentist since 1999. I have two boys and my fears shouldn't fuck with their health. I went and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be/could be. I got a deep cleaning and people were amazed that I knew when I quit. I got a lot of pats on the back and compliments on what I've accomplished.

Yesterday, as they were cleaning my teeth, I realized how strange my busted tooth felt as they worked on it. With every scrape and prod on my real teeth, I felt it. But that fake tooth just felt like pulling. It was an odd feeling as I forget on a daily basis that I have a piece of porcelain anchoring my smile. It was then that I realized how odd the foreign material was when they put it in. As it has a gold crown behind it, I get a little spark every time I put a gum wrapper in my mouth and it hurts. My tongue navigated the surface thousands of time before deciding it was not a danger. I've learned to live with this crown and consider it a part of me now. It's only when somebody is scraping and pulling at it that I realize it is not.

My quit is quite the same. Once, I was whole. I wasn't addicted to anything and (because of a series of decisions) I became addicted. Once I was addicted, there is no going back to what was. I can crown the broken piece of me or I can walk around and explain what happened to me. Yes, the quit felt odd initially. It wasn't natural to me at that point. But now that I am 6 years into this, my quit is a part of me. I often talk about quitting as a pendulum. It swings from bad to good and so on until it settles eventually. The key is to know that there will be good when times are bad. During these times of good, we practice for the bad. In times of bad, we lean on what we practiced. Well, now my quit is a part of my life. I live my quit and it is a part of me. However, there are times when I get a scraping or get reminded that I'm sporting a busted tooth. That doesn't make me weak for realizing that I have to work on my quit. It makes me a quitter.

Keep it up everybody.
In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021

Offline pab1964

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #568 on: March 12, 2017, 10:31:00 AM »
Quote from: Ready
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Jubs
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: wastepanel
Not to speak for the rest of the Basterds, but I'm really comfortable in my quit now. Initially, it was a lot of reminding myself to stay vigilant. Then, as the days stacked up, those reminders became my life. I live my life quit. I plan to be quit. That's my default setting right now. It's pretty awesome. I ain't going to lie.

Life has been much busier lately. I'm working full time. Kids are getting older. Kinda got a punch to the gut this morning as our salesman nephew overdosed on heroin and is braindead. There's a lot of addiction talk and a lot of talk about kids these days. I've got a 12 year old now that has the same attitude I had about life when I was his age: ain't anything that can hurt me. It scares the fucking shit out of me to think about it. It's so strange to think about my parents trying to talk to me about this stuff as a child (and how I knew so much more than them... 'Crazy' ) and now I'm in the same position. I fucking watched every musical icon I ever loved take his own life over the drug...and I feel like my generation moved past it because of that. But what bugs me is that these kids watch their friends die and they still do it! Fuck addiction and fuck those assholes that push the shit. I'm going old.
It's been a strange 24 hours.

After posting that quote yesterday, I saw a long time stopper caved. Ugh. Those things hurt. Dude's been pretty active in the past and had a good thing going. No more.

On one hand, I hope he gets his shit together. It's easier said than done and vision is 20/20 from outside his perspective. What makes the KTC great though is that it offers a perspective other than his. It offers this perspective to me and every other person that signs roll and fights this battle each day. Sure, not every quitter is going to quit in the same manner. We have only a few things that can tie us all together: We post roll. We keep our word. We repeat. We ask for help when we need it. We give it when we can.

Any new quitter may think it's insane that somebody's bad decision effects so many people but that's why I love this place. If I fail, I've betrayed you all. I can't make it up. I don't get a participation trophy for what I had accomplished. I have 2 choices: Let my mistake eat me and continue down the wrong path or learn and move on.

Now, yesterday, I had a big punch to the gut. Addiction is a helluva cross to bare. My friend's brother is hurt and sad and angry and I don't fucking blame him. His son chose a temporary high for Five fucking bucks. His body revolted and he's left a wake of trails to all those that loved him. Hell, I didn't even know him and his death had me hugging my boys all night. There are no excuses in use. None.

One of the greatest statements I've ever read this week was:
Quote
Failure in the past was mostly accepted and treated as an indication the student didn't understand the concept. Failure was a teaching tool.
Now failure is seen as a character flaw so parents don't teach kids how to come back from it, they're just taught to avoid it at all costs.
Failing was my teaching tool and I needed it.

I'm 2082 days quit. I once threw out 1000+ days of stoppage. When I quit, I had to face my demons. In my first stoppage, I stopped posting after day 100. I had never exchanged telephone numbers (let alone email addresses) with anybody in my group. I faded and nobody could find me. I stayed stopped but mostly by accident. Looking back, I'm beyond lucky that I stayed stopped as long as I did. When I failed, it was a decision on a random Sunday. But I had begun failing a long time before that. When I came back, I was quite active. I stayed active and promised myself to let it happen again.

I'm not as active as I once was. I'm still here though and I hope you all will blow me up if you see the complacency in my steps. I'm quite comfortable in my quit though. I've always thought that quitting was a pendulum. It swung from good to bad as my body reacted to the poison withdrawal. In most instances, those all around me experienced the same bullshit of quitting. I realized that those swings were just a fact of quitting. Eventually, that pendulum rests. My mood is not dictated by withdrawals anymore. My mood is me and I have to deal with the bad without nicotine. It is very easy to be a quitter in times of good. It means that you are a quitter when you make it through the times of bad.

I'm making it through life quit and happy. I can't promise tomorrow but I can promise today. However, just because I've decided to be quit doesn't mean I get to rest on that one little decision. "To quit" is one decision. "To be quit" is a series of decisions. Maybe one day, when I'm lying under the ground, I can be considered quit. Until then, I quit with all y'all today.

Don't be sad. Be fucking vigilant. Be quit.
Once in a while I read a post that I think quitters, new and old, should read. This is one of those posts.

Thank you for this read. Proud to be quit with you today and every other day.
Good stuff here. Thanks waste.

We should also be thankful we didn't pick opioids instead of nicotine. What heroin is doing to society is tragic. I'm sorry to read that it has affected you as well.
I remember when you returned here.

Damn proud of the way you did it! You are an excellent example of how someone can come back from the depths of it all. I have not seen many come back the way you did!

Proud to be quit with you!
Thanks waste. You can beat it, preach it and teach not using drugs to your family and friends but in the end it's ultimately up to them. I, was lucky. I took a bad ride on acid my first try at age 15, it scared the living shit out of me because as you all know just like nicotine that one can lead to so many more. But never ever give up on your children and what I see in my everyday life, always take time for them. Quit on brothers and sisters! Waste has shown me the quit way since I've been here.
Tobacco is so addictive it took me a year after a massive heart attack, in which doctor confirmed caused from dipping to finally put a lid on the bitch! ODAAT EDD

Offline Ready

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #567 on: March 11, 2017, 08:49:00 PM »
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Jubs
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: wastepanel
Not to speak for the rest of the Basterds, but I'm really comfortable in my quit now. Initially, it was a lot of reminding myself to stay vigilant. Then, as the days stacked up, those reminders became my life. I live my life quit. I plan to be quit. That's my default setting right now. It's pretty awesome. I ain't going to lie.

Life has been much busier lately. I'm working full time. Kids are getting older. Kinda got a punch to the gut this morning as our salesman nephew overdosed on heroin and is braindead. There's a lot of addiction talk and a lot of talk about kids these days. I've got a 12 year old now that has the same attitude I had about life when I was his age: ain't anything that can hurt me. It scares the fucking shit out of me to think about it. It's so strange to think about my parents trying to talk to me about this stuff as a child (and how I knew so much more than them... 'Crazy' ) and now I'm in the same position. I fucking watched every musical icon I ever loved take his own life over the drug...and I feel like my generation moved past it because of that. But what bugs me is that these kids watch their friends die and they still do it! Fuck addiction and fuck those assholes that push the shit. I'm going old.
It's been a strange 24 hours.

After posting that quote yesterday, I saw a long time stopper caved. Ugh. Those things hurt. Dude's been pretty active in the past and had a good thing going. No more.

On one hand, I hope he gets his shit together. It's easier said than done and vision is 20/20 from outside his perspective. What makes the KTC great though is that it offers a perspective other than his. It offers this perspective to me and every other person that signs roll and fights this battle each day. Sure, not every quitter is going to quit in the same manner. We have only a few things that can tie us all together: We post roll. We keep our word. We repeat. We ask for help when we need it. We give it when we can.

Any new quitter may think it's insane that somebody's bad decision effects so many people but that's why I love this place. If I fail, I've betrayed you all. I can't make it up. I don't get a participation trophy for what I had accomplished. I have 2 choices: Let my mistake eat me and continue down the wrong path or learn and move on.

Now, yesterday, I had a big punch to the gut. Addiction is a helluva cross to bare. My friend's brother is hurt and sad and angry and I don't fucking blame him. His son chose a temporary high for Five fucking bucks. His body revolted and he's left a wake of trails to all those that loved him. Hell, I didn't even know him and his death had me hugging my boys all night. There are no excuses in use. None.

One of the greatest statements I've ever read this week was:
Quote
Failure in the past was mostly accepted and treated as an indication the student didn't understand the concept. Failure was a teaching tool.
Now failure is seen as a character flaw so parents don't teach kids how to come back from it, they're just taught to avoid it at all costs.
Failing was my teaching tool and I needed it.

I'm 2082 days quit. I once threw out 1000+ days of stoppage. When I quit, I had to face my demons. In my first stoppage, I stopped posting after day 100. I had never exchanged telephone numbers (let alone email addresses) with anybody in my group. I faded and nobody could find me. I stayed stopped but mostly by accident. Looking back, I'm beyond lucky that I stayed stopped as long as I did. When I failed, it was a decision on a random Sunday. But I had begun failing a long time before that. When I came back, I was quite active. I stayed active and promised myself to let it happen again.

I'm not as active as I once was. I'm still here though and I hope you all will blow me up if you see the complacency in my steps. I'm quite comfortable in my quit though. I've always thought that quitting was a pendulum. It swung from good to bad as my body reacted to the poison withdrawal. In most instances, those all around me experienced the same bullshit of quitting. I realized that those swings were just a fact of quitting. Eventually, that pendulum rests. My mood is not dictated by withdrawals anymore. My mood is me and I have to deal with the bad without nicotine. It is very easy to be a quitter in times of good. It means that you are a quitter when you make it through the times of bad.

I'm making it through life quit and happy. I can't promise tomorrow but I can promise today. However, just because I've decided to be quit doesn't mean I get to rest on that one little decision. "To quit" is one decision. "To be quit" is a series of decisions. Maybe one day, when I'm lying under the ground, I can be considered quit. Until then, I quit with all y'all today.

Don't be sad. Be fucking vigilant. Be quit.
Once in a while I read a post that I think quitters, new and old, should read. This is one of those posts.

Thank you for this read. Proud to be quit with you today and every other day.
Good stuff here. Thanks waste.

We should also be thankful we didn't pick opioids instead of nicotine. What heroin is doing to society is tragic. I'm sorry to read that it has affected you as well.
I remember when you returned here.

Damn proud of the way you did it! You are an excellent example of how someone can come back from the depths of it all. I have not seen many come back the way you did!

Proud to be quit with you!

Offline worktowin

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #566 on: March 11, 2017, 05:57:00 AM »
Quote from: Jubs
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: wastepanel
Not to speak for the rest of the Basterds, but I'm really comfortable in my quit now. Initially, it was a lot of reminding myself to stay vigilant. Then, as the days stacked up, those reminders became my life. I live my life quit. I plan to be quit. That's my default setting right now. It's pretty awesome. I ain't going to lie.

Life has been much busier lately. I'm working full time. Kids are getting older. Kinda got a punch to the gut this morning as our salesman nephew overdosed on heroin and is braindead. There's a lot of addiction talk and a lot of talk about kids these days. I've got a 12 year old now that has the same attitude I had about life when I was his age: ain't anything that can hurt me. It scares the fucking shit out of me to think about it. It's so strange to think about my parents trying to talk to me about this stuff as a child (and how I knew so much more than them... 'Crazy' ) and now I'm in the same position. I fucking watched every musical icon I ever loved take his own life over the drug...and I feel like my generation moved past it because of that. But what bugs me is that these kids watch their friends die and they still do it! Fuck addiction and fuck those assholes that push the shit. I'm going old.
It's been a strange 24 hours.

After posting that quote yesterday, I saw a long time stopper caved. Ugh. Those things hurt. Dude's been pretty active in the past and had a good thing going. No more.

On one hand, I hope he gets his shit together. It's easier said than done and vision is 20/20 from outside his perspective. What makes the KTC great though is that it offers a perspective other than his. It offers this perspective to me and every other person that signs roll and fights this battle each day. Sure, not every quitter is going to quit in the same manner. We have only a few things that can tie us all together: We post roll. We keep our word. We repeat. We ask for help when we need it. We give it when we can.

Any new quitter may think it's insane that somebody's bad decision effects so many people but that's why I love this place. If I fail, I've betrayed you all. I can't make it up. I don't get a participation trophy for what I had accomplished. I have 2 choices: Let my mistake eat me and continue down the wrong path or learn and move on.

Now, yesterday, I had a big punch to the gut. Addiction is a helluva cross to bare. My friend's brother is hurt and sad and angry and I don't fucking blame him. His son chose a temporary high for Five fucking bucks. His body revolted and he's left a wake of trails to all those that loved him. Hell, I didn't even know him and his death had me hugging my boys all night. There are no excuses in use. None.

One of the greatest statements I've ever read this week was:
Quote
Failure in the past was mostly accepted and treated as an indication the student didn't understand the concept. Failure was a teaching tool.
Now failure is seen as a character flaw so parents don't teach kids how to come back from it, they're just taught to avoid it at all costs.
Failing was my teaching tool and I needed it.

I'm 2082 days quit. I once threw out 1000+ days of stoppage. When I quit, I had to face my demons. In my first stoppage, I stopped posting after day 100. I had never exchanged telephone numbers (let alone email addresses) with anybody in my group. I faded and nobody could find me. I stayed stopped but mostly by accident. Looking back, I'm beyond lucky that I stayed stopped as long as I did. When I failed, it was a decision on a random Sunday. But I had begun failing a long time before that. When I came back, I was quite active. I stayed active and promised myself to let it happen again.

I'm not as active as I once was. I'm still here though and I hope you all will blow me up if you see the complacency in my steps. I'm quite comfortable in my quit though. I've always thought that quitting was a pendulum. It swung from good to bad as my body reacted to the poison withdrawal. In most instances, those all around me experienced the same bullshit of quitting. I realized that those swings were just a fact of quitting. Eventually, that pendulum rests. My mood is not dictated by withdrawals anymore. My mood is me and I have to deal with the bad without nicotine. It is very easy to be a quitter in times of good. It means that you are a quitter when you make it through the times of bad.

I'm making it through life quit and happy. I can't promise tomorrow but I can promise today. However, just because I've decided to be quit doesn't mean I get to rest on that one little decision. "To quit" is one decision. "To be quit" is a series of decisions. Maybe one day, when I'm lying under the ground, I can be considered quit. Until then, I quit with all y'all today.

Don't be sad. Be fucking vigilant. Be quit.
Once in a while I read a post that I think quitters, new and old, should read. This is one of those posts.

Thank you for this read. Proud to be quit with you today and every other day.
Good stuff here. Thanks waste.

We should also be thankful we didn't pick opioids instead of nicotine. What heroin is doing to society is tragic. I'm sorry to read that it has affected you as well.

Offline Law1358

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #565 on: March 11, 2017, 05:56:00 AM »
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: wastepanel
Not to speak for the rest of the Basterds, but I'm really comfortable in my quit now. Initially, it was a lot of reminding myself to stay vigilant. Then, as the days stacked up, those reminders became my life. I live my life quit. I plan to be quit. That's my default setting right now. It's pretty awesome. I ain't going to lie.

Life has been much busier lately. I'm working full time. Kids are getting older. Kinda got a punch to the gut this morning as our salesman nephew overdosed on heroin and is braindead. There's a lot of addiction talk and a lot of talk about kids these days. I've got a 12 year old now that has the same attitude I had about life when I was his age: ain't anything that can hurt me. It scares the fucking shit out of me to think about it. It's so strange to think about my parents trying to talk to me about this stuff as a child (and how I knew so much more than them... 'Crazy' ) and now I'm in the same position. I fucking watched every musical icon I ever loved take his own life over the drug...and I feel like my generation moved past it because of that. But what bugs me is that these kids watch their friends die and they still do it! Fuck addiction and fuck those assholes that push the shit. I'm going old.
It's been a strange 24 hours.

After posting that quote yesterday, I saw a long time stopper caved. Ugh. Those things hurt. Dude's been pretty active in the past and had a good thing going. No more.

On one hand, I hope he gets his shit together. It's easier said than done and vision is 20/20 from outside his perspective. What makes the KTC great though is that it offers a perspective other than his. It offers this perspective to me and every other person that signs roll and fights this battle each day. Sure, not every quitter is going to quit in the same manner. We have only a few things that can tie us all together: We post roll. We keep our word. We repeat. We ask for help when we need it. We give it when we can.

Any new quitter may think it's insane that somebody's bad decision effects so many people but that's why I love this place. If I fail, I've betrayed you all. I can't make it up. I don't get a participation trophy for what I had accomplished. I have 2 choices: Let my mistake eat me and continue down the wrong path or learn and move on.

Now, yesterday, I had a big punch to the gut. Addiction is a helluva cross to bare. My friend's brother is hurt and sad and angry and I don't fucking blame him. His son chose a temporary high for Five fucking bucks. His body revolted and he's left a wake of trails to all those that loved him. Hell, I didn't even know him and his death had me hugging my boys all night. There are no excuses in use. None.

One of the greatest statements I've ever read this week was:
Quote
Failure in the past was mostly accepted and treated as an indication the student didn't understand the concept. Failure was a teaching tool.
Now failure is seen as a character flaw so parents don't teach kids how to come back from it, they're just taught to avoid it at all costs.
Failing was my teaching tool and I needed it.

I'm 2082 days quit. I once threw out 1000+ days of stoppage. When I quit, I had to face my demons. In my first stoppage, I stopped posting after day 100. I had never exchanged telephone numbers (let alone email addresses) with anybody in my group. I faded and nobody could find me. I stayed stopped but mostly by accident. Looking back, I'm beyond lucky that I stayed stopped as long as I did. When I failed, it was a decision on a random Sunday. But I had begun failing a long time before that. When I came back, I was quite active. I stayed active and promised myself to not let it happen again.

I'm not as active as I once was. I'm still here though and I hope you all will blow me up if you see the complacency in my steps. I'm quite comfortable in my quit though. I've always thought that quitting was a pendulum. It swung from good to bad as my body reacted to the poison withdrawal. In most instances, those all around me experienced the same bullshit of quitting. I realized that those swings were just a fact of quitting. Eventually, that pendulum rests. My mood is not dictated by withdrawals anymore. My mood is me and I have to deal with the bad without nicotine. It is very easy to be a quitter in times of good. It means that you are a quitter when you make it through the times of bad.

I'm making it through life quit and happy. I can't promise tomorrow but I can promise today. However, just because I've decided to be quit doesn't mean I get to rest on that one little decision. "To quit" is one decision. "To be quit" is a series of decisions. Maybe one day, when I'm lying under the ground, I can be considered quit. Until then, I quit with all y'all today.

Don't be sad. Be fucking vigilant. Be quit.
Wow..You always inspire wastepanel.
I'm sorry to hear that for your friend..Makes me want to hug my boy a little tighter myself! You and your friend are in my prayers buddy

Offline Jubs

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #564 on: March 10, 2017, 10:24:00 AM »
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: wastepanel
Not to speak for the rest of the Basterds, but I'm really comfortable in my quit now. Initially, it was a lot of reminding myself to stay vigilant. Then, as the days stacked up, those reminders became my life. I live my life quit. I plan to be quit. That's my default setting right now. It's pretty awesome. I ain't going to lie.

Life has been much busier lately. I'm working full time. Kids are getting older. Kinda got a punch to the gut this morning as our salesman nephew overdosed on heroin and is braindead. There's a lot of addiction talk and a lot of talk about kids these days. I've got a 12 year old now that has the same attitude I had about life when I was his age: ain't anything that can hurt me. It scares the fucking shit out of me to think about it. It's so strange to think about my parents trying to talk to me about this stuff as a child (and how I knew so much more than them... 'Crazy' ) and now I'm in the same position. I fucking watched every musical icon I ever loved take his own life over the drug...and I feel like my generation moved past it because of that. But what bugs me is that these kids watch their friends die and they still do it! Fuck addiction and fuck those assholes that push the shit. I'm going old.
It's been a strange 24 hours.

After posting that quote yesterday, I saw a long time stopper caved. Ugh. Those things hurt. Dude's been pretty active in the past and had a good thing going. No more.

On one hand, I hope he gets his shit together. It's easier said than done and vision is 20/20 from outside his perspective. What makes the KTC great though is that it offers a perspective other than his. It offers this perspective to me and every other person that signs roll and fights this battle each day. Sure, not every quitter is going to quit in the same manner. We have only a few things that can tie us all together: We post roll. We keep our word. We repeat. We ask for help when we need it. We give it when we can.

Any new quitter may think it's insane that somebody's bad decision effects so many people but that's why I love this place. If I fail, I've betrayed you all. I can't make it up. I don't get a participation trophy for what I had accomplished. I have 2 choices: Let my mistake eat me and continue down the wrong path or learn and move on.

Now, yesterday, I had a big punch to the gut. Addiction is a helluva cross to bare. My friend's brother is hurt and sad and angry and I don't fucking blame him. His son chose a temporary high for Five fucking bucks. His body revolted and he's left a wake of trails to all those that loved him. Hell, I didn't even know him and his death had me hugging my boys all night. There are no excuses in use. None.

One of the greatest statements I've ever read this week was:
Quote
Failure in the past was mostly accepted and treated as an indication the student didn't understand the concept. Failure was a teaching tool.
Now failure is seen as a character flaw so parents don't teach kids how to come back from it, they're just taught to avoid it at all costs.
Failing was my teaching tool and I needed it.

I'm 2082 days quit. I once threw out 1000+ days of stoppage. When I quit, I had to face my demons. In my first stoppage, I stopped posting after day 100. I had never exchanged telephone numbers (let alone email addresses) with anybody in my group. I faded and nobody could find me. I stayed stopped but mostly by accident. Looking back, I'm beyond lucky that I stayed stopped as long as I did. When I failed, it was a decision on a random Sunday. But I had begun failing a long time before that. When I came back, I was quite active. I stayed active and promised myself to let it happen again.

I'm not as active as I once was. I'm still here though and I hope you all will blow me up if you see the complacency in my steps. I'm quite comfortable in my quit though. I've always thought that quitting was a pendulum. It swung from good to bad as my body reacted to the poison withdrawal. In most instances, those all around me experienced the same bullshit of quitting. I realized that those swings were just a fact of quitting. Eventually, that pendulum rests. My mood is not dictated by withdrawals anymore. My mood is me and I have to deal with the bad without nicotine. It is very easy to be a quitter in times of good. It means that you are a quitter when you make it through the times of bad.

I'm making it through life quit and happy. I can't promise tomorrow but I can promise today. However, just because I've decided to be quit doesn't mean I get to rest on that one little decision. "To quit" is one decision. "To be quit" is a series of decisions. Maybe one day, when I'm lying under the ground, I can be considered quit. Until then, I quit with all y'all today.

Don't be sad. Be fucking vigilant. Be quit.
Once in a while I read a post that I think quitters, new and old, should read. This is one of those posts.

Thank you for this read. Proud to be quit with you today and every other day.

Offline wastepanel

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #563 on: March 10, 2017, 09:24:00 AM »
Quote from: wastepanel
Not to speak for the rest of the Basterds, but I'm really comfortable in my quit now. Initially, it was a lot of reminding myself to stay vigilant. Then, as the days stacked up, those reminders became my life. I live my life quit. I plan to be quit. That's my default setting right now. It's pretty awesome. I ain't going to lie.

Life has been much busier lately. I'm working full time. Kids are getting older. Kinda got a punch to the gut this morning as our salesman nephew overdosed on heroin and is braindead. There's a lot of addiction talk and a lot of talk about kids these days. I've got a 12 year old now that has the same attitude I had about life when I was his age: ain't anything that can hurt me. It scares the fucking shit out of me to think about it. It's so strange to think about my parents trying to talk to me about this stuff as a child (and how I knew so much more than them... 'Crazy' ) and now I'm in the same position. I fucking watched every musical icon I ever loved take his own life over the drug...and I feel like my generation moved past it because of that. But what bugs me is that these kids watch their friends die and they still do it! Fuck addiction and fuck those assholes that push the shit. I'm going old.
It's been a strange 24 hours.

After posting that quote yesterday, I saw a long time stopper caved. Ugh. Those things hurt. Dude's been pretty active in the past and had a good thing going. No more.

On one hand, I hope he gets his shit together. It's easier said than done and vision is 20/20 from outside his perspective. What makes the KTC great though is that it offers a perspective other than his. It offers this perspective to me and every other person that signs roll and fights this battle each day. Sure, not every quitter is going to quit in the same manner. We have only a few things that can tie us all together: We post roll. We keep our word. We repeat. We ask for help when we need it. We give it when we can.

Any new quitter may think it's insane that somebody's bad decision effects so many people but that's why I love this place. If I fail, I've betrayed you all. I can't make it up. I don't get a participation trophy for what I had accomplished. I have 2 choices: Let my mistake eat me and continue down the wrong path or learn and move on.

Now, yesterday, I had a big punch to the gut. Addiction is a helluva cross to bare. My friend's brother is hurt and sad and angry and I don't fucking blame him. His son chose a temporary high for Five fucking bucks. His body revolted and he's left a wake of trails to all those that loved him. Hell, I didn't even know him and his death had me hugging my boys all night. There are no excuses in use. None.

One of the greatest statements I've ever read this week was:
Quote
Failure in the past was mostly accepted and treated as an indication the student didn't understand the concept. Failure was a teaching tool.
Now failure is seen as a character flaw so parents don't teach kids how to come back from it, they're just taught to avoid it at all costs.
Failing was my teaching tool and I needed it.

I'm 2082 days quit. I once threw out 1000+ days of stoppage. When I quit, I had to face my demons. In my first stoppage, I stopped posting after day 100. I had never exchanged telephone numbers (let alone email addresses) with anybody in my group. I faded and nobody could find me. I stayed stopped but mostly by accident. Looking back, I'm beyond lucky that I stayed stopped as long as I did. When I failed, it was a decision on a random Sunday. But I had begun failing a long time before that. When I came back, I was quite active. I stayed active and promised myself to not let it happen again.

I'm not as active as I once was. I'm still here though and I hope you all will blow me up if you see the complacency in my steps. I'm quite comfortable in my quit though. I've always thought that quitting was a pendulum. It swung from good to bad as my body reacted to the poison withdrawal. In most instances, those all around me experienced the same bullshit of quitting. I realized that those swings were just a fact of quitting. Eventually, that pendulum rests. My mood is not dictated by withdrawals anymore. My mood is me and I have to deal with the bad without nicotine. It is very easy to be a quitter in times of good. It means that you are a quitter when you make it through the times of bad.

I'm making it through life quit and happy. I can't promise tomorrow but I can promise today. However, just because I've decided to be quit doesn't mean I get to rest on that one little decision. "To quit" is one decision. "To be quit" is a series of decisions. Maybe one day, when I'm lying under the ground, I can be considered quit. Until then, I quit with all y'all today.

Don't be sad. Be fucking vigilant. Be quit.
In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021

Offline ERDVM

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #562 on: December 27, 2016, 01:05:00 PM »
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: wastepanel
Thanks guys.

Words can't express what you've done for me in this quit. When I needed help, you were there. When I needed a foot in the ass, you were there. When I had questions or doubted myself, you were there. Quitting itself is an individual act, but the way we do it here...it's more. I couldn't imagine failing the friends and enemies I've made here.

Love you all.

Let's fucking do this again today.
Shit Waste 2000 belated! Thx for all you did early in my quit. You kept me steering the right way. I owe my life!
I'm late too- was out of the country. But -- want say big congrats, keep "steppin" day by day! your story most likely saved me from becoming complacent when i was very close to the comma, as i had some tough temptations/urges around that time- had I not been vigilant and wary having learned from you, would never have thought it was just a threat!

Thanks for helping me and for all the others you've helped!
2,000 consectutive days of quit.
Browns on 1-game winning streak.
Both worthy of much praise!!! 'boob' 'boob'

Offline brettlees

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #561 on: December 27, 2016, 01:03:00 PM »
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: wastepanel
Thanks guys.

Words can't express what you've done for me in this quit. When I needed help, you were there. When I needed a foot in the ass, you were there. When I had questions or doubted myself, you were there. Quitting itself is an individual act, but the way we do it here...it's more. I couldn't imagine failing the friends and enemies I've made here.

Love you all.

Let's fucking do this again today.
Shit Waste 2000 belated! Thx for all you did early in my quit. You kept me steering the right way. I owe my life!
I'm late too- was out of the country. But -- want say big congrats, keep "steppin" day by day! your story most likely saved me from becoming complacent when i was very close to the comma, as i had some tough temptations/urges around that time- had I not been vigilant and wary having learned from you, would never have thought it was just a threat!

Thanks for helping me and for all the others you've helped!
This info helped me early on, and still does today: https://whyquit.com/whyquit/linksaaddiction.html

Quitters I’ve met so far: Ihatecope, >Pinched<, T-Cell, grizzlyhasclaws, Canvasback, BaseballPlayer, Cbird65, ERDVM, BradleyGuy, Ted, Zeno, AppleJack, Bronc, Knockout, MookieBlaylock, Rdad, 2mch2lv4, MN_Ben, Natro, Lippizaner, Amquash, ChristopherJ, GDubya, SRohde  -- always eager to meet more!

Offline dipbegone

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #560 on: December 24, 2016, 08:49:00 PM »
Quote from: wastepanel
Thanks guys.

Words can't express what you've done for me in this quit. When I needed help, you were there. When I needed a foot in the ass, you were there. When I had questions or doubted myself, you were there. Quitting itself is an individual act, but the way we do it here...it's more. I couldn't imagine failing the friends and enemies I've made here.

Love you all.

Let's fucking do this again today.
Shit Waste 2000 belated! Thx for all you did early in my quit. You kept me steering the right way. I owe my life!

Offline wastepanel

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #559 on: December 19, 2016, 11:25:00 AM »
Thanks guys.

Words can't express what you've done for me in this quit. When I needed help, you were there. When I needed a foot in the ass, you were there. When I had questions or doubted myself, you were there. Quitting itself is an individual act, but the way we do it here...it's more. I couldn't imagine failing the friends and enemies I've made here.

Love you all.

Let's fucking do this again today.
In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021

Offline AppleJack

  • Rockin’ in the free world...
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Re: I'm back
« Reply #558 on: December 19, 2016, 10:55:00 AM »
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: JGlav
Quote from: Mike1966
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Frazzled
Quote from: ChickDip
2,000
Comma x 2 is huge!
Thanks, wastepanel, for tending to these halls and supporting us.
Rock it, Waste. Awesome job.

So proud of you, man.
Thank you for all that you have done and all that you continue to do. Two commas makes your quit look big, fyi
HUGE congrats to one of the true leaders.

Your support has helped many of us.
Ditto. I have learned a lot from your intro. Congrats on 2000
Big congrats on 2,000. That's bad ass. Way to lead by example
Huge....Huge again!
Most. Excellent!
Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten.

Offline Rawls

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Re: I'm back
« Reply #557 on: December 19, 2016, 10:22:00 AM »
Quote from: JGlav
Quote from: Mike1966
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Frazzled
Quote from: ChickDip
2,000
Comma x 2 is huge!
Thanks, wastepanel, for tending to these halls and supporting us.
Rock it, Waste. Awesome job.

So proud of you, man.
Thank you for all that you have done and all that you continue to do. Two commas makes your quit look big, fyi
HUGE congrats to one of the true leaders.

Your support has helped many of us.
Ditto. I have learned a lot from your intro. Congrats on 2000
Big congrats on 2,000. That's bad ass. Way to lead by example
Huge....Huge again!
I believe.....