Community > Introductions
Remorseful
justin_ca:
You aren't done yet.
BluManChew:
--- Quote from: AppleJack on February 18, 2019, 08:56:03 AM ---This sad fool hasn’t been on site since he wrote that weak shit 5 days ago.
Saw that one comin’.
Time to let this intro get buried and fade away...
--- End quote ---
I'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts that our guy has viewed these comments as a guest, or as one of his many admitted-to aliases. He's a sneaky squirrel, that one.
'ninja'
BMC 499
AppleJack:
This sad fool hasn’t been on site since he wrote that weak shit 5 days ago.
Saw that one comin’.
Time to let this intro get buried and fade away...
BluManChew:
--- Quote from: S412 on February 16, 2019, 01:39:53 AM ---
--- Quote from: arrakisdq on February 15, 2019, 10:51:05 AM ---
--- Quote from: alterego on February 15, 2019, 09:59:34 AM ---
--- Quote from: gottadoit on February 14, 2019, 06:46:05 PM ---
--- Quote from: Erik17 on February 14, 2019, 01:59:28 PM ---
--- Quote from: worktowin on February 14, 2019, 11:42:27 AM ---
--- Quote from: Letsgo14 on February 14, 2019, 07:35:42 AM ---For the past two months, I've been dipping an insane amount. I keep failing in my quit groups and I don't know what to do. I made a new email address and set up a new phone number. I registered a new username but I didn't go through with posting a day 1 with it. It would be a lie. I'm Letsgo14, a serial caver. Is there a support group for serial cavers? I believe there are three main factors that lead to my caves: 1. I stop posting everyday. 2. I stop putting in effort to support my quit group and new quitters. 3. Alcohol. These are all in my control but life is difficult and I fuck up and lose control. I'm 34 years old and sometimes I feel and act like I am 3.
For the past two months I've been trying to quit on my own but I've failed. It seems impossible.
This site and community have been so meaningful to me but I've thrown it all away. I've lost track of the number of quit groups I've been in since 2014. I've been to the Hall of fame multiple times. I'm afraid to come back here because of my past and fearful of the long time members who have their shit figured out.
I want to start posting in the new quit group but I need to work through this so I don't cave again. I can't go through caving and confessing and letting my quit group and everyone here down. It is so painful. I am full of remorse and am asking for forgiveness and another chance. I want and need to quit. I can't continue living life as a diaper. I'm a full blown addict and I'm asking for your help. Is there anyone out there who has gone through anything similar?
--- End quote ---
I'll be honest... it really doesn't sound like you want to quit. I stopped every day for about 20 years, until I found this site and decided to follow the "brotherhood and accountability = success" code of honor that all of us live by. If you want to quit, you have to be all in on this. This isn't a "try and get a gold star" system. This is a balls to the wall system.
I'm not going to address all of your excuses, but I am going to address one of them very very directly. Alcohol. I'm a senior executive for a monster large alcohol distributor. I have more alcohol on my desk than a lot of bars have on their backbar. There is alcohol flowing freely, daily, at work. And I quit booze for 100 days when I threw nicotine out. And if I can do it - let me tell you dude.... if I can give up alcohol - there is ZERO excuse for anyone on this site to use about booze. So you can drop that one.
If you don't wanna quit, dude that's ok. Someone needs to pay for those jets that the tobacco execs fly around in. And oncologists have expensive houses and cars to pay for - so when you start paying for chemo and radiation, you can help foot some of their lifestyles too. Feel free, by the way, to attack this line of thought. Tobacco stole my dad at 52, my friend Traumagnet (intro at top of this page) at around 49, and my grandfather at 76.
To quote Shawshank Redemption: Get busy living, or get busy dying. Make up your mind. Now.
--- End quote ---
Everyone nailing it on the head here, especially W2W. I tried to stop one time in 16 years and ultimately posted another day 1 because I wasn't all in. It takes reminding myself every single day that I am all in for MYSELF. I walk in a gas station now and see the cancer wall and just continuously think to myself "wow how fucking stupid was I to think it was okay to say yes sir please hand me two cans of cancer cope and shrug it off like nothing". It was always in the back of my mind every dip I took that eventually I should quit because that can is fucking awful for you and can literally KILL you. Saying it out loud nowadays makes me want to slap myself. All I can do is look forward and QLF every day from here on. It's cool to quit with and for your other brothers in your group and make relationships and talk and all that. Ultimately, you can and should only quit for yourself and know that there is a life without nic and it's so much better.
I won't address excuses either because frankly, I am a newb in my quit. I can however offer advice: my grandpa used to always say "There's an ass for every seat". Don't be the ass. Take your life back and quit right now. You've tried everything else, why not try quitting 10000% and see how that feels? If you decide to man up and be ALL IN someday, I'll be the first to quit with you.
--- End quote ---
I don't think I've been to the Introductions page for quite some time. Bored at work so thought I would drop in and read some newbie stuff that would make me remember my first days in the fog. And what a surprise to see you back.
Glad to see you posted. Not glad to see that you have been dipping an insane amount. Since you aren't responding to my text message, I'll respond here. I hope you are thinking of each and every member of each of the months you've been a part of...that you've let down when you are shoving that insane amount of cat shit in your face. I hope putting cancer in your face is worth the people you've pissed off.
You were a couple time retread when you were with me and the Battling Bastards in August 17. You caved after 346 days that time. 19 days away from a year! You were then in August 18 and caved. You were then in March 19 and caved after 19 days. I've been there supporting you each time and you keep taking a big fat dump right on my face. From what I remember, you need to move your number 3 up to number 1. Alcohol seems to be the problem. Since you don't have the death weed to turn to in stressful times, you turn to alcohol, your guard gets down and you grab a can. I believe that's been the story each time. There IS a group for serial cavers....It's called MAY 19. But you will fail just like the last 4 or 5 times if you don't give it 100%...if you don't really want to quit. We've now identified the problem. Are you man enough and are you ready to put down the nicotine and the alcohol? Are you going to be resolved to make a promise first thing every day and then be man enough to keep that promise? Are you going to exchange digits with all of the other quitters in May 19 and text them your promise every day? Are you going to text or call them if you find yourself wanting a chew or a drink and let them talk you passed the craving? You didn't text or call me the last three times...you just stopped texting and I heard a few days later that you caved. Are you going to be there for them if they need to be talked off of the ledge? Do you really want to be held accountable? Will you make the personal connections this time that will make your quit stronger? If not, I fear that you will just fail again and piss off a whole new group of bad ass quitters!!
--- End quote ---
You were 4 days ahead of me, so you'd be on day 644 had you stayed with the bastards. What a shame man. Cut out the booze and get your ass into May 19.
--- End quote ---
There's not much more than those here have already stated. You & I were quit brothers in Aug 18 which would have made you at day 292 today. You got to get the booze thing under control. That was your issue with us, and your lack of participation with the group. I was there for you after you caved with us, but then you just did it again.
--- End quote ---
Another HAK here. Nothing new to add. I had your back, still would. I think you need to give up the fucking booze as well as the chew. It seems the former is a catalyst for the latter. I think I told you that before but I'm not sure since it seems alcohol is another crutch for so many of us. Anyway, get serious about quitting. Seems you know the equation, now start working it to completion.
--- End quote ---
"I keep failing in my quit groups and I don't know what to do."
Yes, you do, fuckhead. You know what you need to do, so don't give anyone here that bullshit.
You don't know what to do?? Yeah fucking right. Haha! This isn't about not having knowledge, this is a behavioral issue. This is about the choices you make. And you'll need to make that choice to quit, and you know it.
Don't fucking pretend like you don't, and don't fucking think that your excuses for caving are so fucking special that they permit you to dip, while the rest of lanquish in our quits.
You put those chains on yourself. You tighten the shackels and yet grip the very key that will unlock and loosen them.
You have the power here. You just need to choose to exercise it, free yourself and walk away.
If you don't know that, then you are a fuckhead indeed.
BMC 498.
Dundippin:
Letsgo14,
I am impressed that you have been able to quit numerous times for weeks and months. I dipped for 40 years. I quit two times. The first time when I went through a hypnotist. I broke after 9 months when my mom died and my brother that I admired so much kept telling me that I would fail and I believed him.
The second time was when I lost my job at the age of 59. I found this site and decided to quit for good. I became catatonic. All I did was sleep, eat and piss. It was a terrible time. I could not go through that again and will not allow myself to cave.
One of the things about dipping is that it allows you to focus on your habit only and not on anything else.
I am a former VP of IT, not a therapist, but your story really struck me. I think you are dealing with something else that you were able to avoid when you were focused on dipping. And also when quitting dip. But once you are free of dip you can start confronting some of your other issues (we all have them) and you do not like it.
I think you keep going back to dip to avoid that thing.
I suggest you seek a counselor, life coach or someone else to help guide you with what you are viewing as a terrible problem.
You must think it is especially terrible for you to force yourself to quit over and over. Because many of us would not have the courage to go through that over and over. Quitting can be likened to physical, mental and emotional torture.
Deal with that thing you are running from and then finally quit in earnest.
I quit with you today.
Dundippin day 1252
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