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(Originally started 10/4/17 @ 12:28pm here (https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/qs_xtreme/srains918-t12377.html))
I'm Steve, and my last dip was Friday 9/29/17. I have been nicotine free since.
I have been dipping for far longer than I care to admit (30 out of the last 31 years). I quit for over a year 8 years ago, but caved. If I had known about this site and had these kinds of resources I think I would have been able to get the help I needed then to stay quit. I'm glad that I've found it now and will be on here daily checking in, encouraging others, and looking for help when I need it. I have been trying to read and research through the fog and the moods and the lack of focus over the past couple days and have already found incredible stories and have seen how supportive everyone is of each other. It's amazing how dead accurate the list of symptoms is for me so far, and I appreciate that as a resource to know what to expect in the future.
I joined my quit group and added my name to roll call. Thank you to everyone that has encouraged me so far!!!
Today has been my best day so far, but I can feel the "fog" rolling in. Hopefully it didn't cause me to ramble too much!
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I'm Steve, and my last dip was Friday 9/29/17. I have been nicotine free since.
I have been dipping for far longer than I care to admit (30 out of the last 31 years). I quit for over a year 8 years ago, but caved. If I had known about this site and had these kinds of resources I think I would have been able to get the help I needed then to stay quit. I'm glad that I've found it now and will be on here daily checking in, encouraging others, and looking for help when I need it. I have been trying to read and research through the fog and the moods and the lack of focus over the past couple days and have already found incredible stories and have seen how supportive everyone is of each other. It's amazing how dead accurate the list of symptoms is for me so far, and I appreciate that as a resource to know what to expect in the future.
I joined my quit group and added my name to roll call. Thank you to everyone that has encouraged me so far!!!
Today has been my best day so far, but I can feel the "fog" rolling in. Hopefully it didn't cause me to ramble too much!
Welcome Steve and congrats on making the best decision of your life. A couple of things yer' gonna' need ta' know.. Exchanging digits is part of the accountability part of this site. Don't be scared, your fellow quitter nor anyone else want to stalk you. We're quite sure you've got skid marks and a drawer in your house that we don't want to know about. What we do want is you commitment to quit every day by posting your day quit number and your promise not to use nicotine. The phone numbers of fellow quitters in your month (as well as some other vets) are your lifeline to quit. More than once have I called a fellow quitter in my early month when I thought I couldn't take it. They talked me down and got me through the suck. I too dipped for just over 30 years with one year in between. If this sorry bastard can do it, so can you. Digits are in you inbox (located in the upper right hand of your screen)
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Welcome.
The formula is simple - Post your promise. Keep your promise. Repeat daily. The freedom is worth the price.
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10/5/17 @ 07:40
A few people have pointed out that I'd been "counting" wrong and shorting myself a day because I wasn't counting the first day I actually quit. I'm sure most people outside KTC don't give a rats ass, but to this 30+ year addict day 7 sounds a hell of a lot better than day 6 for some reason so I'm gonna take it!
Thank you to all that have reached out so far. I want to apologize for what I'm sure have been some incoherent rambling replies. I'm happy to exchange digits with anyone, and especially encourage those in my Jan18 Quit Group to hit me up if I miss you over the next few days. I'm doing my best to figure out the ins and outs of the site (while pretending to work), but have been having a tough time focusing on anything for too long as I know you've all been through (or are going through).
I'm going to document my journey through this intro feed at least every few days (probably more often in the beginning). I think being able to go back and look at what I've been through so far will help me when I have rough days down the road.
I'm going to post my roll call daily. No excuses. One thing that has been mentioned to me repeatedly is accountability, and I already see the benefits of that. Quit one habit, start a new one (roll call). That seems like a fair trade.
I'm going to send my digits to everyone in my quit group. More accountability. Quit as a group. Support each other. Talk each other down when necessary.
I'm going to keep reading as much as I can on here; Your stories and your journey. It helps so much to read something and realize the crap I'm dealing with is normal for the day range of my quit and that I'm not alone and that it is possible to beat this daily.
I'm open to any other suggestions or ideas or resources!!!
My Day 6 yesterday started out great! Mornings have been tough for me; that first dip always came almost as soon as I opened my eyes. Oddly enough, this has been the easiest one to avoid so far. As long as I don't buy a can of shit the day before, I don't have a can in the morning to be tempted by. Yesterday (and today) have been the first two days it really hasn't bothered me in the morning. I was more social at work yesterday. Pretty much everyone knows I've quit and they've been incredibly supportive. I'm able to keep to myself at work when I need to and that's really helped because I can just walk away and compose myself when the tension gets to be too much. For the most part yesterday was a good day until I went grocery shopping with my S/O, and then panic set in. Stupid things that set me off. Too many people. Not knowing what was on our list so I didn't know where to go. We started on the wrong side and didn't do the store in the right order. We went down aisles, moved on, and realized we needed other things down that aisle and had to go back. Stupid. Meaningless. Shit. Fortunately she was incredibly patient with me and helped ease me through it. By the time we got home I could feel the stress leaving my body and the rest of the night was fairly uneventful. I don't remember the fog from my first quit (well, I guess that was a one year "stop" and not a quit), but it's a bigger part of this quit so far than almost anything else. I can't focus. I'm easily distracted. I find myself staring off into space and wonder how long I've been doing that. Walking helps a lot. I'm normally desk bound, so I've tried to make myself get up and walk around to help clear my head a little.
Today is day 7. I am quit today, so tomorrow I can add a day to that number. Right now my first goal is 10. Baby steps.
Thank you all for your support and encouragement!!!
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SRAINS if you do every single thing you just laid out in that post then you will be successful! Post Roll EDD, Post Roll EDD, Post Roll EDD! I cannot stress this enough. Digits sent
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10/6/17 @ 07:28
Today is Day 8 - I have posted roll and promise to remain nic free today. It's funny how simple yet incredibly powerful that is to do.
Day 7 was much, much easier in terms of the cravings and the mood swings. The hardest part was staying focused and staying awake at work because I haven't been sleeping as well as I normally do. I did sleep better last night, so I'm hopeful that I'll be a little more alert today. I did find myself standing at a counter looking at the dip rack last night (we were in the store for something completely unrelated to that, but they always seem to have the dip right there behind the register). I excused myself and left my S/O to purchase what she needed and walked outside. I wasn't tempted to buy, but didn't want to stand there and tempt fate either. I think if it had been a couple of days ago I'd be here trying to explain why I was an idiot and starting my count over. Yesterday, no problem.
I found this a while back and thought it was appropriate for here. I'm not sure where it came from originally, so I can't give it proper credit:
An addict fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The addict called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him to buy a ladder, but the addict could not find a ladder in this hole he was in. A doctor walked by. The addict said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him some drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The addict said thanks, but when the pills ran out he was still in the hole. A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the addict's cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get in there? Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the addict talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The addict thanked him, but was still in his hole. A priest came by and heard the addict calling for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said, "I'll pray for you." The priest got down on his knees and prayed for the addict, then left. The addict was very grateful and he read the whole Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole. A recovering addict happened to be passing by. The addict cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering addict jumped in the hole with him. The addict said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here!" But the recovering addict said, "It's okay. I've been here before. I know the way out."
- Anonymous
I'm proud to quit with you all today. Thank you to those that have jumped down into this hole with me!!!
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10/9/17 @ 07:21
Day 11 - I made double digits!!! Next goal: two weeks quit.
I probably won't post as much on weekends but I will get on and post roll (I did this past weekend). I live on my laptop for work and try to keep my weekends as "electronics free" as possible. Hopefully I'll get to the point that I'm comfortable posting from my phone and I can go back to leaving my laptop in the bag over the weekend. I'll do what I have to do to post roll EVERY DAMN DAY!!!
It sucked seeing JTack drop out. He got about to where I am now and I haven't seen him back yet for a new "Day 1". It sucked seeing a Day 1 post from the Colonel after him having quit for so long. Both of those were very sobering to me, and neither was particularly surprising. I don't mean that I wasn't surprised because of them personally. I don't know either one. I mean that it's not particularly surprising to see someone drop out within a couple of weeks, or even after a year or more. I've done both in the past. Like probably everyone on KTC I've got more "two week quits" than I can count, and one that I caved after more than a year (probably closer to a year and a half).
So, why should things be different for me this time around? I've shown in the past that I can't do this. Honestly, KTC. That's what's different for me this time. As ridiculous as it may sound to someone thinking about quitting, a simple fucking promise to a bunch of strangers every morning posting roll is enough to make me think twice. FishFlorida and JeffW are getting texts from me first thing every morning with my Day # and that same promise. Accountability. That's the difference for me this time.
Having made it through Day 10, most of the worst physical parts are done. I'm still not sleeping worth a damn, but I expected that. I'm taking naps and going to bed earlier (who knew as kids that we'd appreciate naps and spankings later in life ;) ). It's not ideal but even though I wake up a lot, when you add it all up I'm probably sleeping enough. I had my first ever "dip dream" over the weekend. That was weird. I honestly thought whoever posted that was full of crap because I'd never experienced it before. Well, now I can tell you that it's a real thing. I still have cravings several times a day, some pretty intense, but I've been able to power through them all with sunflower seeds and finding distractions. They pass pretty quickly for the most part, although for some reason I'm freaking useless and really craving between about 5:00p-6:00p daily. If someone gets a text because I need support, it's going to be that time of day. I have no idea why that time is bad for me (I'm normally in a place I wouldn't have been dipping anyway) right now, but it is. For now, I'm just going to make sure I'm not in a place where I even CAN buy crap during that time to minimize the temptation.
I'm proud of the Jan '18 Ball Droppers. This is the worst part. The first few weeks and the first 100 days. We can do this together with help from past quitters. Post roll EDD. Text or call someone BEFORE you buy a can and cave. PM me for my number if you don't have enough support already. I'm happy to talk you down off the cliff and to have you do that for me when I need it.
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10/12/17 @ 07:39
Day 14 - I made it two weeks!!! Next goal: three weeks quit.
You know what? That's not true. I'm at 14 and I've posted roll for today. The next goal is day 15. Then day 16. Then day 17...
I already knew in the back of my mind that once I got past the first few days things were going to be up and down for quite a while. This isn't my first quit. It's my first quit with KTC though. Posting roll, texting other quitters daily for support, accountability. These are the things that make this quit different for me.
If I'm honest, day 13 was my toughest so far. Not the physical cravings or the fogginess or any of the actual physical things associated with quitting. Yesterday was the first real "mental" hurdle day for me. Stress at work, crap in my personal life, everything seemed to just come to a head all at once. I heard the whispers of the nicotine bitch in the back of my mind. Any other quit in the past, this is where I would have caved. I didn't. Part of that was my personal commitment to this quit. Part of that was my promise to KTC via roll that I wouldn't use nicotine. Part of that was because I woke up yesterday and texted FishFlorida and JeffW and INKcogKNEEdough and promised THEM PERSONALLY that I wouldn't. Accountability. I kept my word.
Today is Day 14. I will NOT use nicotine today. I have made my promise. I will keep my word. I will make the exact same promise as soon as I get up tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I will WUPPEDD, and I will stay quit one day at a time.
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Yep srains, one day at a time. You are doing great. hopefully you are starting to experience some good days. The roller coaster of emotions is very real. I did that crap for 35 years and it is amazing how much of a pull it can have on you after such a period of time.
Proud to quit with you!!
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Srains,
Congratulations on your quit and your succcess thus far and welcome to the group.
As you know, the main way to be successful is to just decide that you have quit. Once you stop the negotiating in your head as to whether you will do one more or not the rest becomes far more simple.
Next, you will learn to distract your attention from your desire for a dip to anything else that interests you. This ability to change your focus will guarantee your success and make your quit that much easier.
When you place a dip in your mouth, your brain releases sugars. Well, those sugars are now going to be gone.
However, you can replace them with OJ or other fruit juices with sugar. This will provide some comfort, especially in your initial quit days.
Make sure to exercise with weights and cardio when you feel that nagging tension in your muscles, you feel that rage, when you can not sleep and when you can not focus. Exercise really helps.
Here is one that most people overlook. Get at least 3 square meals a day. Hunger can really bring on those urges so squash those urges before they come. Eat full healthy meals and do not let yourself get excessively hungry. You will see this helps a great deal.
I waited until I was 59 quit after using tobacco for 40 years. You are wise to quit now.
I quit with you today.
Dundippin day 760
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10/16/17 @ 07:39
Day 18 - Made it through my third nicotine free weekend! The first one I can honestly say I don't really remember. Last weekend was tough simply because of all of the real nicotine free "firsts" that were bigger triggers than I expected. Weeding, mowing, trimming bushes... It seems crazy that these were things that triggered cravings. This weekend was far better, although there were still a few that were really intense. I think I can chalk part of that up to trying to wean myself off of sunflower seeds over the weekend. Big mistake, even though I tried substituting hard candies in their place. Stopped for more seeds on my way to work this morning and ditched the candy for now...
I have felt much better the last few days. I'm not really sure whether or not my sleep patterns are still off because my allergies kicked in and I've started on Benadryl before bed so I can breathe all night... Either way, I've slept well for the last few days.
I know I'm only 18 days in, but I have yet to miss a roll post since my first (I think day 4 or 5). If you've stumbled across this while thinking it's time to quit (or I'm rereading so I can remember what I went through) - Posting roll daily makes all the difference. Don't miss a day. For any reason. Ever. Make that daily promise and then keep it. Thinking about quitting dip forever is incredibly daunting and will send you into a panic attack (at least it does for me). Quitting one day at a time? That's comparatively easy. Just make that promise every fucking day and keep it.
Support from people on KTC has been incredible and I have singled a few people out in previous posts and thanked them. I need to acknowledge two people at home though... My S/O Patty (who I have also thanked before) has been so incredibly supportive of this quit. She has done at LEAST as much research as I have and I can honestly say she's been one step ahead of me so far. The second one is my son. It occurred to me the other day that he has never had a father that wasn't hopped up on nicotine (other than a year or so that I'm sure he doesn't remember). Seeing how happy he is that I've been quit even for this short period of time really feels good.
I have posted roll today and made my promise. Have you?
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10/19/17 @ 08:56
Day 21. Three fucking weeks!!! Damn, it feels good to say that.
The cravings aren't as bad as they were. Still there obviously along with a LOT of the normal things people go through at this point. Gotta love all the "What to expect" info on KTC. It makes me feel as "normal" as possible I guess.
Weirdest thing to happen in the last few days was that I reached for a can (that didn't exist) after I finished eating lunch at my desk one day. Bent over and started opening my laptop bag before I realized what I was doing. The crazy thing is that I wasn't even CRAVING, it's just such a habit that I did it instinctively. That's the only time I've reached for a can that wasn't there over the last few weeks, so I guess I'm doing pretty well as far as that goes.
I'm starting to try to be more active in my quit group. I honestly believe that it's going to help make my own personal quit stronger, and I feel like it's time to start helping the newer newbies while all this crap is still fresh in my mind. Not that I'm ever going to forget it... I also appreciate everything the vets on this site have done for me, and I want to give back as much as I can. I see this (KTC) as something that takes up a fair portion of my time going forward, although I AM probably going to have to get some actual work done at some point.
Day 21 (And Counting). I quit with you today!
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Reminder that I do want to grab as much of Irish's intro as possible and fix these broken links...
This came up in our quit group today and I didn't want to lose it. GREAT info!!!
Nice
Now that we got that all cleared up.
Answer the three questions.
....
The Three Questions (http://archive.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9654281)
and
Answering the three questions - Reprise (http://archive.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9785911)
These links might help you understand what we're asking.
While you're reading those, feel free to read the rest of my intro. Like you, I am documenting my quit with an "Intro-journal".
It's therapeutic and will also help those close to you at KTC.
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10/21/17 @ 10:12
Day 23 - I wasn't planning on posting over the weekend, but needed to post this one.
The fog rolled in HARD this morning. Just randomly, and out of the blue. I can't concentrate on anything this morning. Forcing myself to get through the things I need to accomplish today as best I can but it's after 10am and I haven't been able to get out of the house yet. I did WUPP and sent my 10-12 morning day count texts, so that's good... I'm much better at recognizing the bullshit when it happens. Now I just need to get re-wired and figure out how to deal with it better.
Future self (and others that stumble in here): This took me 10-15 fucking minutes to type, and then I realized I have been sitting here staring at the screen for who knows how long... Wow... Just wow...
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11/13/17 @ 06:56
Day 46 - It just occurred to me that I haven't actually posted much here lately in terms of using this as a "journal". In fact, it's been 23 days (which is odd, because my last journal post was day 23).
The last 23 days have not been completely smooth. I've had some INCREDIBLY bad craves but have fought through them by texting my newfound friends here and by hanging out and posting in our trainwreck of a quit group (Jan '18, and I am proud to quit with every single one of those roll jacking mofos). I've had a couple of foggy days, but nothing anywhere near as bad as it was for my Day 23 post.
I've complained about the mess in January a few times (here as well as in the group), but truth be told it's a bad-ass group to be a part of. I think we're still 45 or so strong (pissed about the two caves last week) and everyone in the group is at or past the three week mark (still early, but I'm pretty happy we're 45 strong through 3 weeks). It's a great mix of personalities and strengths and sometimes that means that things get a little crazy... If you're truly bored, I highly recommend reading through there. Is there a lot of bullshit? Yes. Is there a TON of incredibly good information? You bet! With the crowd we've drawn on a pretty regular basis there are people with a whole lot of quit days that are posting advice, and that's going to be a lot of help going forward.
If you're reading this and haven't made contact with a bunch of people you're doing KTC wrong. I'm texting around 30 people every morning in addition to posting roll, which makes me that much more accountable. I'm online as much as I can be posting in the group. This place is about forming relationships with people so that you CANNOT fail. I have probably 50 contacts overall now. I'll text/call every single one of them before I put that crap in my mouth, and that is going to help me stay quit.
I'm quit, ODAAT.
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12/6/17 @ 12:38
Day 69 - It's a little strange that I showed up again 23 days later to post. I really meant to be better than that when I started this intro but life has been moving pretty fast.
I'm still posting roll at 100% and I intend to keep it that way. I'm texting 36 people my promise to quit every morning (including two that aren't even on KTC, but one of THEM is still quit and sends me his number every morning). I had the great pleasure of meeting Montovon a few weeks ago and I'd like to be able to meet more of my quit brothers and sisters.
It's hard to believe tomorrow is 10 weeks. It seems like it's gone by so fast, and also so slowly. I haven't had entire bad days recently but still do have stretches where I'm miserable as FUCK for no apparent reason. Well, I know what the reason is I suppose... It's hard to describe really because it doesn't always involve actual craves. More of just a general "funk". It passes. Overall I have to say that I feel better than I have in YEARS. I do have to admit that I've put on a few pounds with this quit and I'm not happy about that, but it beats not being quit. That's the next part of my life that I'll be working on.
If my recent pattern holds I'll be back here on Day 92 posting my next intro update. Keep on quitting!!!
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12/8/17 @ 06:59
I don't want to lose track of this, so I copied it here... I'll try to keep this updated as people add to the story. If I miss anything, please text me and let me know (if you don't have my digits, they're just a PM away)!!!
As per RWBullet's suggestion I've started crediting the author within each section rather than here at the top.
Enjoy! I know I am...
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JANUARY FURY meets the FEBRUARY WINE MIXERS
Written by CNC
After an irritating day in the January house of FURY, the Colonel, Dog and Srains decide to slip away from Josh's incessant rambling.
They decide to visit their brothers over in February for a change... the house that has always been the most quiet neighbor in the entire development. Then again, who could make enough noise next door to drown out the shit storms in January.
Upon arriving, they find the front door left wide open with no heightened security against riots or demonstrations, no sandbags to protect the sentries... nothing of the sort. Hell, the door is still attached by the hinges and fully functional.
So, they just invite themselves in. Once thru the door, they are overwhelmed by a nicely scented house, with very elegant decor.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me", mutters the Colonel.
Q-Dog immediately starts inspecting the nice wooden furniture and hand-made knick-knacks throughout the foyer.
Srains walks confidently into the next room to find a handfull of February's quitters perched throughout the room, again on nicely crafted wood furniture, sipping delicately at their wine and wine spritzers.
"Greetings fellow quitters, and welcome to the Catalina Wine Mixer, glad to see you have finally come over for a visit," Doc excitedly announces as the visitors cautiously take in the scenery.
"Dog, you've got to get in here and check out this shit... and Colonel... well, you might want to close your eyes and ears," suggests Srains.
"Whoa man, these guys got this stuff down... I have to add this to my video collection" responds Q-Dog as he instantly decides to handle each piece of furniture, running his hands along each surface... fully impressed by the craftsmanship. "I don't know Colonel, you might actually want to see this afterall."
Hesitantly, the Colonel rounds the corner still vigilant for boobie-traps or hidden weaponry, "what the fuck is this?"
Just then Lumberguy chimes in, "Hey Colonel grab a drink and take a seat with us, we are just about to watch another Will Ferrell movie... you interested?".
"Uhhhhhh," replies the Colonel, doing his best to take in the situation before him. "You have no bullet holes in your walls? No burn marks on your carpet or furniture? No damn spent shell casings everywhere?"
"Thats right Colonel," says Josh605 as he carefully places his wine glass on the elegant coffee table in front of him so he can unlace his lineman boots. "Pretty nice eh?"
Doc continues with the greetings, "thats right guys... we have a nice quiet house here, and we like it that way. We didn't need all that rough stuff, we are just here in the neighborhood quitting like everyone else. We love it here in KTC Chase... great place to settle in."
The Colonel stands motionless, gritting his teeth... still stunned that no one is shooting at him or chucking grenades back and forth. "Just cry me a fucking river... how is this possible" he whispers under his breath.
Seeing what is happening, Q-Dog grabs the Colonel's arm and starts quiding him towards the front door. "Hey CNC, this might be a bit much for you right now... lets go back to the FURY and have some target practice okay? I'm sure we can find someone you can shoot at. Sound good?"
"Yeah, that sounds good Dog... but did you see this place? Fuck me to tears already, I have never seen anything quite like it" the Colonel admits as he walks out of the February house shaking his head in disbelief, waving goodbye without looking over his shoulder.
Meanwhile, back in the living room, Srains conducts his usual diplomacy with the neighbors, "sorry about that guys... we've seen a lot of action over in January. The Colonel was not intending to be rude... we all love your house. Keep it up, and we will stop by again sometime... we might even drag Probe along next time."
To be continued...
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Part 2: Feb to F.U.R.Y.
Written by DrB
Several days later in the Catalina Wine Mixer house, the gentlemen are still talking excitedly about their recent visitors.
“Did you hear what they said? Bullet holes? Can you even IMAGINE?” Flyboy exclaimed.
“I know what you mean, brother. It sounds terrible - but yet I’m oddly excited by the thought. Perhaps we should pay them a visit?” suggested the Doc.
Just then Will Ferrel realized that Legos were meant to be played with, and the credits started rolling. The Mixers decided to brave the elements and see what really caused all the bangs and thumps from their neighbors’ house.
“Be sure to wear slip-on shoes, guys, so we can take them off easily when we enter their house!” advised Graham.
As they approached they house, bullets began ricocheting off the ground at their feet. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” cried a voice through a bullhorn.
“We’re your neighbors in February. We came to say hi. We brought a bundt cake and some Yellow Tail!”
Just then the Colonel’s head flew out the window of the F.U.R.Y.’s house, followed several seconds later by his body.
Nervously, the Mixers proceeded past the sandbags, heads on spikes, and bulls with inexplicably torn anuses, to the front door. Multiple gunshots were heard, and amid the sound of shattering glass, the Colonel opened the door for them.
“Holy shit…” the Dr. said in awe, “I’m no doctor, but didn’t we just see your severed head go through a window?”
“FUCK YOU” replied the Colonel with a twinkle in his eye.
From the couch, Srains noticed the new visitors. Grudgingly, he moved the hooker’s corpse over to one side and, noticing some stray white powder, quickly scooped it up and inhaled it before standing up.
He picked up an Anvil and in one quick motion bashed the Colonel’s head in. While dismantling CNC’s corpse and soaking it in acid, he said “Don’t get us wrong, guys. We’re all really, genuinely nice people on our own. But in this house you won’t survive unless you have committed at least one felony by breakfast.”
“That’s right”, said the Colonel from behind them. The entire February contingent instantly defecated while the Colonel went on. “I’ve been at this a long time,” he said, skinning a live goat and weaving its hide into a jacket, “and if you’re not fighting for your survival every day, you’re fucked.”
After several hours of witnessing torture, multiple beheadings and resurrections, and the rapid departure of a busload of embarrassed but satisfied nuns, the Mixers returned to their hideout.
“I’VE FOUND MY PEOPLE!” exclaimed Lumberguy. “WHAT A RUSH!” uttered Doc. “I hope that iguana was okay” said Medic.
“We need to bring some excitement to our house…”, said Flyboy. “What if we… hear me out… call ourselves the FUCKING Catalina Wine Mixer?”
“Ooooh, I like it!” said Doc.
Just then, Buddy the Elf came on TV and all was right with the world.
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Part 3: REVENGE OF THE F.U.R.Y.
Written by CNC
After an interesting visit, the house that FURY built is contemplating the overall scene... which is to say, conducting business as usual.
"Damnit Josh, why do you keep encouraging these people?" asks Srains, while he is sweeping up after that latest vortex party.
With a sheepish grin, JTL just shrugs and says "but I was just out to share some love, nothing wrong with, that is there?"
Just then Probe enters the room, shuffling thru the mess on the floor, "just who the fuck is responsible for THIS mess? Carry on."
The whole room just rolls their eyes, with a couple head nods in JTL's direction.
"Hey there cutie," JTL says as Probe works his way across the room trying to get to the fridge.
Without missing a beat, Probe stares right at him and growls "who the fuck are you again? Carry on."
"But Dad, I'm..."
Before he can finish, Probe swings his basketball sized fist knocking JTL thru the wall and into the next room. With a grunt and smirk, Probe then mutters, "just get the hell out of my way, I'm thirsty. Carry on."
About that time, the Colonel enters the room, realizing that the house has been busy since the Wine Mixers had left. Surveying the damage, he raises his hand just in time to catch the cold beer Probe just threw at him... and says without batting an eye, "thanks Probe, I was just about to ask for one."
After opening his ice cold Miller Lite and taking a couple thoughtful drafts, the Colonel continues, "well guys, what did you think about our new neighbors?"
Srains props his head up with his broom and with a contemplative gaze, he says "well, they seem like a nice enough bunch, except they shit all over our floor... I'm not gonna say they were bad neighbors for doing so, because afterall, you literally scared the shit out of them Colonel."
"Well, if you ask me, I think they must all love fat chicks," Kyle chimes in as he enters the room flipping thru his recently purchased porno mags. "Thats just me though," says as he continues flipping thru pages and walking right out of the room.
"Yeah, I suppose we ought to try and normalize diplomatic relations with them," offers Srains, "just to ensure they know we are just like everyone else."
"What? Fuck them all... I'm not gonna coddle those young-un balls," Probe grunts out. "They just need to quit like us. Carry on."
Just then, the front door swings open putting everyone on alert... the Colonel's trigger finger begins to twitch. A collective sigh of relief is audible as they realize its just Brick coming back with the groceries.
"Hey guys, guess what? I just got a great deal on steaks and all the fixings... wanna fire up the grill today? Hey, maybe we can invite the Wine Mixers over," Brick suggests, though hardly finished, "I also visited this new house a little further down the road. Not a whole lot of residents in there yet, but they seem nice too. Maybe we can just plan a great big block party?"
Undaunted, Probe repeats his earlier statement... "What? Fuck them all... I'm not gonna coddle those young-un balls," Probe grunts out. "They just need to quit like us. Carry on."
"Hey Brick, how about we just handle one potential hazard at a time... I am still worried about these Wine Mixer guys," the Colonel remarks with total skepticism. "I mean come on guys, think about it. Look at our house... its got more battle scars than Gettysburg. We have an awful lot of graves out back as well, yet these guys live in a beautiful house... no violence, no drama... no dead bodies. There is just something suspicious about that."
Just as the Colonel finishes his thought, JTL comes crawling back thru the rubble of the wall he had most recently flown thru, "I love them... they are fun. Unlike you guys. I really like that LumberGuy... and Doc... and Josh... and Dizzy... and..." his list just continues on until the entire roll for the Wine Mixers has been recited, then he just crosses his legs on the carpet and sits with a stargazing smile and twinkle in his eye. "Yeah... Catalina... Mmmmmmmm."
Q-Dog, who had been sitting silently in the corner, planning his upcoming videos, finally chimes in, "Anyway FURY, they will certainly benefit from our profound wisdom... and if they can handle us, then I suggest we give them that chance." He then takes a deep breath, straightens his photo-activated reading glasses, and exclaims, "besides, I need to shoot a video in that house. The furniture was just to die for. Fucking talk about Man Glitter Central, that place gives me lots of ideas."
The Colonel nods and decides to summarize what the group wants. "Okay guys, I also agree. Lets all go back other there sometime and deliver the BBQ invite. I think that will..." suddenly the front slams open again, everyone reaches for their guns... the Colonel gets into his combat stance, nickel plated .357 at the ready... trigger finger twitching once again...
Probe begins pounding his fists together... Srains limbers up his diplomacy skills... and Dog gets his Zen warmed up. And JTL? Well, he just remains starry eyed with a shit eating grin on his face eager to see who the new visitor is.
But all they hear is a quickly spoken "Hi guys... bye guys", then the back door slams shut.
Rolling his eyes and clenching his teeth, the Colonel hisses out his displeasure... "FUCK ME TO TEARS ALREADY!!! Those damn P&Gs piss me off every time."
In unison, everyone in the house just shakes their heads and exclaim, "Colonel you are just a sanctimonious prick."
"Thanks guys... now off to February we go then. But this time, they get to meet Probe AND... we'll release... The Monk."
To be continued...
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Episode IV - Return to Catalina
Written by DrB
"Damn..."
"I know, right?"
The next 24 hours were tough in Wine Country. The Mixers sat staring at the floor or off into space, mentally reliving what they'd just experienced. For most, it had been months or even years since they'd actually filled their pants with feces. But how could any sane person have avoided it? Who but the most depraved soul could watch a grown man be dismembered and dissolved in acid, only to reappear moments later behind them as if nothing had happened?
Questions swirled in their brains... Who was the hooker, and how long had she been deceased? Why did they keep an anvil in the middle of the floor? Who the fuck is Kyle?
The television was showing static. Wine glasses sat unfilled. The only sounds were grunts, sighs, and the occasional necessary flatulence.
Mike looked up and, with a forlorn air, said "Something's missing, guys." Everyone nodded in agreement. "We used to be so happy with our peaceful lives, but now even if Will Farrell showed up it wouldn't be the exciting party we were hoping for..."
"Don't you DARE take the lord's name in vain," said Doc. "Will Farrell WILL return, and his return will be TRIUMPHANT, and we will ALL go to Catalina Island with him!". But his words sounded hollow, even to his own ears...
Suddenly, and without warning, the door blew off its hinges and shattered on the opposite wall.
"DIDJA MISS US, SPIT FUCKS?!" said a wild-eyed man who reeked of January. "I'm motherfucking PROBE. That's right. Bend over, Lumber, I'll show you how I got my fucking name!"
"Whoah, easy there big fella" said a familiar voice. The Colonel strode in and put a calming hand on Probe's shoulder. "Sorry boss," said Probe, "But these young-uns have the coddliest balls I've ever seen..."
In walked a man filming himself with a video camera. He sauntered over to the couch, sat down, and murmured with a delightful southern twang about this and that. DZismann72 hurried over, lifted up Dog's feet, and put them on the footrest. Then, unbidden, his rage boiled over and he ran from the house, screaming "I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH FOOTRESTS!"
"Guys", said the Colonel, "We're having a party. You know what that means. We're gonna grill some shit. Then we're going to shoot some shit. Hookers and blow, with a side of necrophelia. And we've rented a bouncer for the kids! Here's the flyer, please RSVP so we know how many cows we'll need to slaughter."
And they backed out, looking all around them. Clearly they were not used to leaving places without being under heavy fire. "Sorry about your door. Nice balls though" said Probe.
The Mixers stood still for a moment. Then they slowly began looking at each other, and their smiles grew wider. They started giggling, laughing, and fist-bumping. Then, as if choreographed, they all leaped into the air at the same time and...
FREEZE FRAME.
CUE OUTRO MUSIC.
SCROLL TEXT: "To be continued..."
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Episode 4.5: THE VISIT
Written by CNC
As the FURY all cautiously backtrack to the house, covering all corners and open spaces, the Colonel veers off to head for the store... unescorted.
The sun has just set, so he checks all of his flanks before sliding into the front seat of his SUV.
Just as he starts the engine of his rig, his spider-senses begin to tingle. Something is not right...
Right about the time the Colonel is ready to go on high alert, this low gravely voice comes from the back seat, "hello CNC... I've been watching you."
"What the FUCK???" The Colonel reaches for his gun, but its obviously too late to engage the intruder... he is caught off guard. "Who are you and what do you want?"
The shadowy visitor answers quietly, but sternly, "you have hijacked something that is rightfully mine, and I want it back."
"What? I don't know what you mean... I don't even know who you are, let alone what you are talking about," responds the Colonel.
"Fine, you wanna play that way? Go ahead, turn on the cabin lights then."
Hesitantly the Colonel does so, though steeled up for immediate physical combat. Suddenly, the cab of his truck is filled with a brilliant light... finally illuminating the "visitor".
The Colonel focuses his eyes... staring into the rearview mirror, stunned to see a familiar face glaring back at him.
The figure in the backseat sees this and breaks the silence, "so Colonel... now you know who I am... but YOU were supposed to be dead."
Un-rattled, the Colonel plays along, "yeah, I get that a lot!!! So, Coach Steve, what brings you to the 2018 block of KTC Chase?"
A moment of uneasy silence ensues... then the answer comes... "You do Colonel. I am here for you."
Then the lights go out... the engine shuts down... and nothing but silence.
To be continued.
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Episode 4.51: Flash back: HE'S BACK
Written by Coach Steve, title by SRains
Coach Steve aka FUCS is napping on the couch in the living room of the Glass House of April 2012 when the phone rings. FUCS waits a few rings to see if anyone else will pick it up...ring....ring....ring...realizing that Beast is enjoying the weekend of 69s with his wife, Vadge is working the late shift at the vagina sanctuary, and CBird is running his 15th marathon in as many days, FUCS begrudgingly gets off the couch to answer the land line...
FUCS: {muttering to himself} Who the fuck uses a landline anymore... {FUCS picks up old rotary phone} Hello?
Caller: Coach! Is that you?
FUCS: Yes...{still groggy from his nap and clearly irritated}
Caller: Hey Coach its RW Bullet from October 2017
FUCS: Oh..hey what's up?
RWB: Have you seen them yet Coach?
FUCS: Seen what?
RWB: The new narratives in October 2018?!
FUCS: {scratching his ass} Um...no can't say that I have
RWB: Oh Coach you gotta see these...they remind me of your narratives
FUCS: {perking up} Wait...what? You can't be serious.
RWB: Oh I'm very serious Coach...you need to check it out yourself!
FUCS: {yawning} Eh...I dunno man...I'm pretty busy right now
RWB: Busy doing what?
FUCS: {looking around and realizing he isn't wearing any pants} Um...you know...stuff and things
RWB: {sounding dejected} Well...ok...but I really think you oughta check it out
FUCS: {sighing} Alright man...just stop by the Glass House when you're ready and we'll go together
{Just then, the doorbell rings}
FUCS: {perplexed} RW?
RWB: Yes Coach?
FUCS: Did you just ring my doorbell?
RWB: Maybe...
FUCS: {walking to the front door and opening it}
RWB: Hey Coach!
FUCS: Dude seriously?
RWB: Sorry Coach but I'm really excited! {looking down} Coach...why aren't you wearing any pants?
FUCS: {shrugging} Do I really need pants? This is KTC Land and its my narrative
RWB: You have a good point. Well do you want to get dressed before we go?
FUCS: Nah...I'm good. Can you drive?
RWB: What's wrong with your car?
FUCS: Well...it's a long story...let's just say in all the narratives I've written I'm not sure I ever wrote myself a car
RWB: That's strange
FUCS: Not really, back in those days we could walk or ride Hipster's bicycle everywhere in KTC Land. Either that or Gmann aka "G" would try to pick me up in his pink VW Beetle. Now KTC has expanded into the suburbs and there's the new CHEWIE EXPRESSWAY
RWB: Well...I had to KUBER here
FUCS: KUBER?
RWB: Yeah it's the KTC version of UBER
FUCS: Ah..well KUBER it is I guess
RWB: {taking out his phone} I got it! You sure you don't want to put on any pants Coach?
FUCS: Does it really matter in the long run?
RWB: {shrugging} I guess not
{Just then, a black Audi with tinted windows pulls into the driveway}
RWB: Looks like our ride is here
FUCS: Certainly looks that way doesn't it
{FUCS and RWB make their way down the glass stairs and into the backseat of the Audi}
Enough: Howdy folks! I'm Enough from the Nov 2009 group, how are you fine quitters this evening?
RWB: Hi Enough! I'm RW Bullet and this is Coach Steve!
FUCS: Please...call me FUCS
Enough: {adjusting the rear view mirror} Um...Coach...you do realize you're not wearing any pants right?
FUCS: And...
Enough: {backing out of the driveway} Works for me chief!
{Enough pulls out of the 2012 HOF Neighborhood, onto KTC Boulevard and then the CHEWIE Expressway}
Enough: Yeah....I remember the good ole days when we were just a small community of quitters {pointing at a new retirement community under construction} Now we're just building and building
FUCS: Hell I remember when KTC Boulevard was just a dirt road that dead ended at LOOT's farm
RWB: What is LOOT's farm?
Enough: {looking in the rear view mirror} He was a quitter from the old days...one of the founding fathers
RWB: What happened to him?
FUCS: {putting his hand on RWB's shoulder} That's not for you to worry about right now, we have better things to do
RWB: {leaning back on the headrest} Ok Coach...
{Enough takes the 2018 HOF Group exit off of the CHEWIE Expressway. FUCS notices the exit sign has been painted over with black spray paint..."Welcome to the FOG"}
FUCS: Well that's comforting
{Enough pulls the car onto the shoulder at the end of the exit ramp}
Enough: This is as far as I go folks
FUCS: {looking at RWB} How far away are we?
RWB: Just a few blocks Coach
Enough: I would take you myself but KUBER guidelines prohibit us from entering the pre-HOF zone due to the hazards
FUCS: What hazards?
Enough: {Adjusting the mirror to check out FUCS's Ex Officio boxers} You will soon see for yourself
RWB: C'mon Coach, let's get going!
FUCS: {to Enough} Will I ever see you again?
Enough: You know where to find me...just post in Nov 2009 and tell us why you still post on KTC
FUCS: {getting out of the Audi} That I can do
{FUCS closes the door and Enough peels out into a 180 and accelerates onto the CHEWIE Expressway}
RWB: Let's get going Coach...it's not safe out here in the open...
FUCS: I'm starting to doubt this whole idea RWB
RWB: Just trust me Coach...
{Just then, a new quitter streaks by screeching "I'm quit, I'm quit, holy shit this sucks....ahhh....shit...I'm dying!" and then starts to run into the woods before stopping and turning towards FUCS. "Hey you there...you do realize you're not wearing any pants right?"}
FUCS: {cupping his hands} Hang in there bro it gets better!
New Quitter: {head turns 360 degrees} Thanks for the advice {then bounds into the brush}
FUCS: Hmmm..I can see why KUBER rules prohibit drivers going into this area
RWB: I promise it gets better Coach
{FUCS and RWB make their way towards the Jan 2018 FURY when they hear gunshots}
FUCS: {ducking} What the fuck was that?
RWB: That...my good sir...is the Jan 2018 FURY
FUCS: The FURY?
RWB: Yes...led by your favorite caricature
FUCS: {eyes widening} No....
RWB: Oh yes Coach...it is time
{FUCS and RWB make their way towards the Jan 2018 FURY stopping only to observe "Time to Say Goodbye" karaoke being performed by the Feb 2018 Catalina Wine Mixer group}
FUCS: What's up with those guys
RWB: Not really sure...but that's not why we're here
FUCS: So...why are we here?
{Just then, RWB ducks behind some brush and pulls FUCS with him}
FUCS: WTF dude?
RWB: {gesturing} Shhhh...look
FUCS: My dear god...
{FUCS gazes upon the compound of the Jan 2018 FURY. Surrounded by barbed wire fence and equipped with lookout sentries, the Jan 2018 FURY is aptly described as a hellscape. The decapitated heads of reincarnated quitters are mounted atop stakes surrounding the compound and shrill screams can be heard emanating from within}
FUCS: {eyes wide open} What...is...this...place?
RWB: This my dear Coach...is CNC's world
FUCS: {snapping his head towards RWB} What did you just say?
RWB: You heard me Coach...
FUCS: But...it can't be...
RWB: Oh but it is Coach. CNC has created new narratives to fit his shall I say...narrative
FUCS: So CNC is like CNN?
RWB: Sort of...but without the shitty cable news network
FUCS: Ah...I see...so what do you need me for?
RWB: Well Coach....you are the only one that can defeat him
FUCS: But I'm retired...
RWB: Are you?
{FUCS and RWB turn toward the camera}
FUCS: I guess not....
{To Be Continued...}
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Episode V: Murky Night
Written by joshthel0ser
Upon nightfall, Srains, and the Dog enter the FURY house after returning from their visit to the Wine Mixers.
They're greeted with a, "Hey fukers" from Monk and an insincere wave from JTL.
Srains, giving them the finger, says "Hi.." while Dog is still in awe over all the nice wooden furniture his new neighbors have throughout their home. Probe, in his old age, is walking slower and has not yet made it across the moat and to the front door.
JTL asks the guys how they enjoyed their latest encounter with the Winos. Srains says, "Yeah, I'll tell you in a second, Josh" he says as he searches the fridge for scallops and a White Russian in a can. JTL is thinking that doesn't sound like a great combo, but there isn't a better combo than boobs so what does it matter?
As Srains sits down and begins his tale, all of a sudden, the power goes out.
Dog explodes in a rage after all he's been through to get electricity in the first place. "What. The. Fuck. Guys?" he asks, expecting an answer none of the FURY could provide.
He takes a deep breath and says, "ommmmmm." That goes on for about three minutes. He pops in a stick of Trident Cinnamon, and resumes his meditation briefly before finally speaking again.
"You know what, this is okay. It's not.. we're paying for electricity, yet, it's out! But it's okay, we have to live life on life's terms" says the Dog.
JTL assures him and the rest of the fellas that it will be alright, and suggests they look for flashlights and candles.
Just then THE FURY hears some sort of moaning outside. "The fuck is that?" wonders Josh. "I don't know man, sounds like a beached whale .. or an old man out of breath." added Dog.
Feeling buzzed and brave on his canned vodka, Srains jumps up, opens the door, and peers out to see just what the hell was going on out there.
He sees Probe on the ground and a large rock just behind him. Srains, now laughing, slaps his knee and exclaims, "Guys, you were both right, it's an old man AND a -" he pauses from laughing so hard to the point it sounds like a tea kettle - "an old man AND a beached whale!"
All of the FURY begins to chuckle.
Josh gets up and rushes out to Probe, offering his hand. "C'mon daddy, let's get you up and inside!"
Rolling his eyes, Probe asks, "Who the fuck are you?" and reaches for Josh's hand. They proceed into the house and the old man notices the lack of light. Seeing Dog pacing on the phone, he realizes what's happened and chooses not to comment.
JTL gets Probe settled in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot black coffee and hands him the remote.
Meanwhile, Dog is on the phone with the elusive Duke Energy company. Tempers start to rise as patience dissipates.
At this time, a light begins to flicker, and power is restored to the FURY house.
The FURY hears a faint laugh. It gets louder and louder. A hysterical Brocc emerges from the basement where he flipped all of the breakers back on.
Too tired to rage, everyone is just glad that it's all over.
Mr. OnHunt says goodnight to the Duke lady and suggests Brocc go home for the night.
As some time passes by channel surfing and polishing guns, things begin to wind down.
Srains begins to sober up and breaks the silence with, "Hey, where the hell is the Colonel?"
"The Colonel is a sanctimonious prick, who needs him?", Josh asks facetiously and winks.
To be continued...
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Episode VI: The Wine Mixer has a discussion.
Written by Dzismann72
(((I have thoroughly enojyed the story so far and i thought I might like to add a piece to the saga. Someone, anyone is welcome to adjust formatting because I don't know code. Wine Mix on!)))
The night before the big block barbeque, the Catalina Wine Mixers had a house meeting.
The men gathered in the chairs and couches looking at the CNC sized boot marks on the floor.
Jwebb can't find his favorite wooden chair since the January boys left...
The group seems divided, some wide eyed and excited while others are pale faced and unconvinced.
Dr. Bottux rose from his chair to say loudly:
Guys, this is going to be a good thing! We get to cut loose and earn that "Fuckin" we've been thinking about hanging outside. Lumber has already started redesigning the sign.
Jmedic talks while waving his half empty pint glass
Doc, let's think this through. We've got a great thing going here and doesn't every kid these days wear a 'Stones t-shirt when they can't tell paint it black from satisfaction?
Dr.: But there are so few of us, we need to get out more and make our presence known!
Jmedic: Then why not start by making inroads with march? In a nicer part of the neighborhood! someplace that maybe doesn't have more bullets than the Cinton foundation?
Lumber: Because January is Fucking Awesome! They have target practice in the hallway! Axe throwing in the kitchen! And they have pictures on the walls!
Josh605 chimes in from the back: "we have pictures on our walls!" and he points to the famous Dogs playing poker painting
Lumber: Pictures of tits! JTL and CopeFiend have that place swimming in beautiful, tanned, smirking, smiling, long haired, covered in red, delicious, popping titties. Where can we hang that good shit around here?
Beebee addreses the group with conviction and desperation: You guys aren't even a little worried about bringing their mess into our house! Look at how tidy it is! We pay our bills on time, we follow the HOA CC&R's, we have intact drywall!
From outside, A loud crack follwed by the smell of cinamon preludes the entrance of the all seeing Drome.
As he talks, he strolls through the room, looking at each of the wine mixers, seeing through them and knowing their story:
"I ben here uh long time n I seen jus bout it all. I think that uh bbq is a helluva way ta build comunity. Ya otta take the oppertunity ta go n git yer quits on."
He went around the corner and left the way he came with a crack and another strong whiff of cinamon.
Dz: Maybe we can- I don't want to overstep here - maybe we can bring some sides, have a beer or two, and then politely leave before it gets too late?
J Webb: and maybe we can ask Dog about my chair....
Pike hunter, sitting by the window gets the attention of the group, " What in the fuck are they doing?!"
The group squeezes closer to window to behold the truly incredible scene.
Outside the January house, CNC and JTL are stacking every piece of wood that isn't nailed down on the heaping mountain of firewood in the front yard and spilling into the street.
Dog is sharpening ten foot long skewers and muttering about man glitter.
Probe is sitting on the front porch between two 8 foot speaker towers blaring the Doors and manning the .50 incase anyone gets out of line.
Srains is working a small herd of cattle towards a makeshift corral with a cattle prod and the Colonel's spare service pistol.
"oh, there's my chair!" JWebb exclaims noticing Monk, sitting naked and sideways on top of the bonfire pile playing with a butane torch.....
To be continued..........
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EPISODE VII: THE SHOWDOWN - FUCS versus CNC
Written by CNC
The following is based on a true story. KTC Invetigators from the Department of Quitter Safety have been able to piece together many of the events from oral and written eye-witness accounts. While no one is certain about all the details, and many questions go unanswered to this day, all that can be said is "let the reader decide for themselves."
As many recall, the events of The Visit and The Mirky Night transpired immediately following the second visit to the Wine Mixers house of chill. Where the Colonel was confronted by someone from his past, with a mission of their own. It appeared to the Colonel that this person was a hitman from 2012 HOF side of town to silence him... permanently.
Caught off guard, the intruder had gained the upper hand while concealed in the backseat of CNC's SUV. Waiting in the dark... the perfect ambush. This is what happened next.
Many things happened all at the same time, as many combat veterans can attest to, things get confusing (and even harder to decipher after the fact), but the Colonel knew he had to act fast and decisively before his opponent. The chances of coming out this were understandably slim... the numbers just did not add up in his favor. His .357 still in its leather under his jacket, and his highly modified AR-15 sitting inconveniently on the passenger seat... what weapons he had leveled at him by Coach Steve? Absolutely unclear. The Colonel just knew though, it took some serious balls to pull this off... and it would make zero sense to attempt it while unarmed.
The numbers continued to count off... he was running out of time. "LETS ROCK!!!" the Colonel growls as he grabs for leather.
At the same time, the passenger door flies open revealing yet another bushwacker. RWB, who had been observing from a safe distance, determined that things were about to go South for his friend FUCS. He was hoping to disarm the Colonel and defuse the situation before it escalated to a high intensity conflict of epic proportions. He was seconds too late... the action had begun.
Fumbling with the Colonel AR-15, RWB didn't realize that the Colonel had asked Probe to modify the trigger and fire selector... it was now a full-auto weapon with a hair trigger. There really is no way RWB could have known this while he tried to balance the heavy weapon that was sporting a double-barrelled 100 round magazine, optics of every type mounted everywhere possible, and a 37mm flare launcher attached in the over-under configuration.
As he was trying to gain control of the Colonel's machine gun his finger brushed against the trigger... with next to no zero trigger pull required, the weapon exploded into action. Spraying lead all over the inside of the SUV. Punching holes in the windshield, all the paneling, and destroying the dashboard. The cacophony was deafening... like nothing RWB had ever experienced. At this point the magazine was already half-empty, so he just decided to ride it out... but the runaway weapon seemed to have a mind of its own.
So, reaching up with this left hand, RWB tried to grab at the handguard to at least direct his fire away from Coach Steve... but instead he grabbed the trigger of the Havoc Flare Launcher, sending a Super Blaster flare bouncing all over the inside of the cab. Then the whistling started... like incoming artillery... RWB dropped the rifle and ran to gain cover before the round exploded. Hitting grass just in time, the Blaster round went off, exploding like a 1/4 stick of TNT, sending sparks and smoke everywhere... the color scheme was bedazzling.
RWB glanced up, crawled up onto his elbows, and actually admired the fireworks show for a few moments.
Muttering outloud, "wow, that Colonel sure knew how to outfit a weapon. That is some pretty shit right there."
When the AR-15 finally ran out of ammo, and the echoes from the Super Blaster subsided, the neighborhood was deadly quiet... like a cemetery at midnight. No bugs, no birds, no traffic, no nothing. Just smoke and the smell of cordite.
From around the side of the SUV creeps Coach Steve... apparently unharmed. "Just what the hell did you do RWB? Holy cow."
RWB just shakes his head... ears still ringing... "I am not sure of anything now. That was the craziest thing I was ever witnessed." Tapping the sides of his head with his palms. "What about the Colonel?"
Coach Steve looks inside the still smoke filled cab... waves some of it away until he sees what it was he was looking for.
The Colonel pinned against the door with about 20+ bullet holes covering his body while clenching his favorite pistol... blood splatter everywhere... gore covering the seats and dash... he was obviously dead.
But the vision that Coach Steve will never forget, was the look on the Colonel's face... a grizzly looking mixture of rage and a smile.
"Uh, RWB you probably don't want to look in there... its not pretty," FUCS says as he turns to walk away.
At that very moment, members of The FURY and Catalina Wine Mixer begin to arrive at the scene to investigate the "hell-on-earth" that was unleashed only yards away from their respective houses.
Coach Steve sees this and makes an announcement to the growing crowd, "Brothers... please... let me explain. I am Coach Steve from 2012, I was summoned here to take care of a problem... unfortunately it didn't quite go down as I planned, and well... the Colonel is dead. I am sorry for your loss."
The members of FURY look back and forth at each other... seemingly in shock over the news, while the Wine Mixers are flabbergasted at the fact that they were living next door to an active combat zone the whole time. Each taking a moment to glance inside the cab to confirm the brutal tale as told by this character called Coach Steve.
Once convinced of the validity of his story, a long drawn out silence followed... no one moved or spoke a word.
Then, breaking the silence with a thunderous roar... "WELL JUST FUCK ME TO TEARS ALREADY" the Colonel bellows out as he strolls around the corner, with the illumination from the SUV's lights casting an eerie glow across his face... Coach Steve noticing the facial expression was the same as he saw on the "Colonel" in the truck.
Gasps are heard throughout the assembled group. Eyes widen and jaws drop open. The FURY all smile. Probe speaks up first... "THAT'S our Colonel... the Sanctimonious Prick!!!"
As for the Wine Mixers? Just as before... almost in unison, they collectively shit themselves.
And this is what the investigators have entered into the official records at KTC City Hall.
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To be continued???
-
12/11/17 @ 07:47
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Episode VII.V - FUCS and the F.U.R.Y.
Written by Coach Steve, Title by SRains
{FUCS and RWB are scouting the FURY Compound when they hear a rustling in the bushes behind them}
RWB: {turning around} What the hell was that?
FUCS: I have no idea, probably just another tweaked out new quitter
{Just then, Enough emerges from the bushes}
Enough: Hey guys
FUCS: Dammit Enough, you scared the shit out of me!
Enough: Sorry Coach
RWB: Hey I thought you weren't allowed to enter the 2018 Pre-HOF groups?
Enough: Yeah...I thought about what you guys were talking about in the car and decided I couldn't leave you hanging. Plus it seemed like Coach was under the impression I was still a part of Nov 09 instead of Oct 17
FUCS: {perplexed}Wait....what? I'm fake news?
Enough: Yeah...
RWB: Alright let's get back to the plan
FUCS: What is the plan?
RWB: I thought you had the plan?
FUCS: Me? Why would you think that? You're the one that dragged me out here
RWB: Well it's your narrative Coach, therefore it's your plan
{Just then, the power goes out in the FURY Compound and the quitters notice a commotion at the front entrance. Apparently Probe has been laid out by someone with a large rock and Srains, JTL and Dog are standing around laughing at him}
FUCS: Is Srains drinking a canned White Russian?
RWB: {gagging}I think I just threw up in my mouth
Enough: Alright guys...this is our chance
FUCS: Chance for what?
Enough: To get into the Compound...
RWB: How exactly do you plan on doing that?
Enough: I gave a few of the FURY quitters a KUBER ride one night after they'd been out drinking canned White Russians
RWB: And....
Enough: And...they were taking about CNC and how he rules the FURY Compound with an iron fist and keeps dying then reincarnating to make everyone afraid of him
FUCS: Are you talking about Jim?
RWB: {confused} Wait...who is Jim?
FUCS: CNC is Jim, and he's harmless
RWB: He certainly doesn't look harmless
FUCS: Look..once you get past the gruff exterior, he's a gentle soul longing to be accepted
RWB: So what does this have to do with getting into the Compound?
Enough: {rolling his eyes} I've had Enough! If Mr. Narrative over here would quit interrupting me I could finish!
FUCS: {snickering} Have you...had "enough"
Enough: Dammit Coach...
FUCS: Sorry, sorry, please continue
Enough: As I was saying...these drunken FURY quitters basically gave me the keys to the front door
RWB: Is that a euphemism?
Enough: {pulling something out of his pocket} Nope...they literally gave me the keys to the Compound!
FUCS: {rubbing his hands together} Oooohhh...this will be masterful!
{Just then, the quitters hear a "ding"}
RWB: What was that?
FUCS: I think I have a PM..hold on a minute {checks his PMs}
RWB: Who is it Coach?
FUCS: It appears to be from CNC...something about me planning a covert attack on the Compound
Enough: Oh god! He's know we're here {turns to run}
RWB: {grabbing Enough's shirt} Hold on there pal...we need those keys
Enough: Ok..you're right, can I leave know?
FUCS: Nope...we need you to waltz in the front door
Enough: You need me to do what?
FUCS: You heard me...the plan is becoming clear
{The quitters huddle up as FUCS discusses "The Plan"}
{Cut scene to inside the FURY Compound kitchen. Probe, JTL, and Srains are enjoying scallops and canned White Russians}
Probe: Who's idea was it to drink canned White Russians?
JTL: {chugging the last bit and gagging} I believe that would be me
Srains: I dunno guys, I kinda like them
JTL: You would...
Srains: What's that supposed to mean?
JTL: {standing up out of his chair}You heard me Sally!
Probe: {still woosy from taking a rock to the head earlier} Guys..guys...no need to turn against one another
{Just then, Rob W walks into the kitchen with his head phones on, doesn't say a word, pops some popcorn, and walks back to his room}
Srains: Ok...that was weird
Probe: Speaking of weird...where in the hell is CNC?
JTL: {sitting back down}I haven't seen him for awhile...I gotta be honest guys, these last few days have been weird. It's almost as though we have competing narratives that don't seem to follow any defined chronology
{Just then, Dog walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge}
Dog: Can any of you rootin tootin rascals tell me why we only have canned White Russians to drink around here? What I wouldn't give for a Bud about now!
JTL: Like I was saying...we're sitting here trying to figure out what happened to CNC and then Dog walks in, starts talking like a cartoon and we have a fridge full of canned White Russians and scallops...what in the actual fuck is going on here?
{Just then, the power goes out...}
JTL: {turning on his phone flashlight}You see..this is the crap I'm talking about
Probe: To be fair...I think the power goes out in your version of events..
JTL :Oh...right...well it's still weird
Dog: Hah! It's not weird when it's *your* dog...get it...your dog?
Srains: Yeah...we get it. I'm going to check the breaker panel in the basement
{Srains walks down he basement stairs, being sure to avoid the nails placed there by CNC to deter invaders. As he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he feels the hair stand up on the back of his neck}
Srains: Is somebody there....hello?
{Srains looks around and makes his way towards the breaker panel. He opens the panel and reaches for the breaker when he feels cold steel being pressed to the back of his neck}
Voice: Don't move an inch?
Srains: {raising his hands in the air} Colonel...is that you?
CNC: Yes...and I'm not going to let you ruin this for me
Srains: Ruin what?
CNC: That dastardly Coach Steve...he's going to rue the day he messed with me!
{CNC proceeds to knock Srains out with a chlorophyll rag and drags his body behind the dehumidifier}
CNC: {patting Srains on the chest} Sorry old pal...but this needs to happen
RWB: {cocking a shotgun and pointing it at the back of CNC's head} What needs to happen?
CNC: You're making a big mistake
RWB: Am I?
CNC: Yes...do you know how much of a sanctimonious prick I am?
RWB: I hear that's what you call yourself...I've heard differently from Coach
CNC: What does he know?
RWB: Apparently a lot...Jim
CNC: What did you just call me?
{Just then, JTL comes down the stairs with his phone flashlight}
JTL: Um...what the hell are you guys doing?
{CNC takes advantage of the distraction and turns to grab the shotgun from RWB and knock him out with the butt of the gun}
JTL: {stunned} Why'd you do that?
CNC: He was going to ruin the entire narrative!
JTL: What narrative?
CNC: My narrative! I know FUCS is waiting for me in the back seat of my SUV, he just doesn't know that I know that
JTL: Wait...I'm confused...so FUCS is inserting himself into *your* narrative?
CNC: Why wouldn't he?
JTL: I dunno...maybe he's not that stupid. Hold up...would you say you were trying to set up a *booby* trap for Coach?
Probe: {yelling from upstairs} What's the deal with the breaker panel? The canned White Russians are getting warm!
CNC: But he *is* that stupid and he loves booby traps!
JTL: {snickering} You said booby!
CNC: Dammit!
{Just then FUCS emerges from the shadows}
FUCS: Hello Jim...
CNC: Oh for fucks sake. Um...Coach..why aren't you wearing any pants?
FUCS: Let's not worry about the pants right now. Did you really think I would be waiting for you in the back of your Honda CRV?
CNC: Well...I just...it made the most sense
FUCS: Did it make sense? Especially given my inferior understanding of how to make an AR-15 fully automatic?
CNC: You have a point
JTL: {with a handful of frozen scallops and canned White Russians} Are you guys still talking?
FUCS: You mind if I get one of those Russians?
JTL: {tossing FUCS a can} Sure thing...Trump loves those things you know...
FUCS: {cracking open the can} Did you just....
JTL: Yeah I think I did
FUCS: {taking a sip and gagging} Oh my god...how do you guys drink this crap?
Dog: {from upstairs} That's what the shit I'm talking about!
CNC: So...what do we do now?
FUCS: {shrugging his shoulders} How about building a giant bonfire in front of the Catalina Wine Mixer house?
JTL: I'm down
CNC: Me too
{I'm not sure I can continue this absurdity, and definitely can't follow Probe's f-ed up storyline}
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Episode VIII - Pre-BBQ Reflections
Written by CNC
Episode VIII - Pre-BBQ Reflections
All of the brothers of FURY are sitting around a bonfire and enjoying a nice quiet night for a change... before the long anticipated BBQ.
Some guys are drinking their favorite beers, and some are choking down the canned White Russians that JTL continues to stock in the fridge.
Oddly enough, its a silent night. No one is shooting off their guns... nor shooting off their mouths.
What appears to have been the core crew huddles close around the fire.
The Veteran surveillance cameras capture Q-Dog, Srains, Probe, and the Colonel doing as expected... sitting close to each other, and discussing important matters in low tones.
JTL and Monk are hovering not far away... pretending to enjoy each other's company, but keeping a close ear on what the "core crew" is saying.
"Hey Monk," JTL whispers. "Did you ever suspect these guys were the Council?"
All Monk does is giggle and incomprehensibly roll his eyes as he continues to fiddle with a lighter while sitting atop the bonfire pile for the upcoming BBQ.
JTL realizing that he is talking to an idiot, tries to extract himself from the situation... unsuccessfully though.
Monk just then explodes with excitement as Josh tries to extricate himself, "I hate you Josh... but I think you are the sexiest guy in THE FURY!!!"
Uncharacteristic of JTL (well kind of), he strips off all of his clothes and runs away... waving and screaming "I love you too Monk but I have something better to do. So, bye bye sweety!!!" Josh goes from a run to a sprint as he rounds the corner, screaming down the road, "I AM QUIT, I AM QUIT!!!"
Meanwhile, back at the bonfire, "just what the fuck was that?" Srains asks as he glances left and right.
"Fuck it... I don't care, its probably that kid whose name I never remember, Carry on." Probe answers as he rolls his eyes, returning to poking at the burning embers... growling with satisfaction.
"Gentlemen, I have kind of a deep question to ask... do you mind" asks the Colonel as he casually returns his favorite pistol into its nicely oiled leather holster.
"Go ahead Colonel, the only bad things are those that you do not share with us..." states Q-Dog, referencing some awesome intellectual Icon of recovery science.
"Yeah go ahead Colonel, we've been thru hell and back... no sense holding back now," agrees Srains.
"Fucking-A sir, lets get it all on the damn table. Carry On" adds Probe.
Feeling that the time was right, the Colonel notices some of the FURY brother standing at the sidelines... as if they did not feel invited. He waves them all over.
Guys like Kyle, Brick, JTL, Monk, Chief, and JP approach the fire... its no mistake that these guys also happened to be the few that conversed with the Colonel during his most difficult days
Hell, most (not all) even fought alongside the FURY Council back in the day.
The Colonel sighs as if he has a very difficult item to share, "Well guys, I know you have been thru hell... and many of you are still going thru some FUNK and RAGE."
"I have brought an awful lot of this violence and combat into our neighborhood... because I have so SO many enemies. They will never completely leave me alone... leave US alone."
As the fire grows larger, the glow strikes each of their faces in their individual and unique ways... highlighting the sincerity of the moment.
The Colonel then unknowingly and instinctively pulls Phred (his favorite nickel plated .357 revolver) from its leather shoulder holster and just waves it like a baton.
"Hell, I don't know why I keep getting resurrected... nor why everyone still wants to kill me... but, here I am" the Colonel finishes while spinning his pistol like an old west gunfighter.
CNC then tries to wrap things up... "not sure why Coach Steve denies the reality of what is happening around here... RWB did in fact kill me that night... and FUCS was in fact there."
"Anyway guys, I will support all of you... and fight like we always have. FUCS is up to something... on some kind of mission..." the Colonel suggests with absolute certainty.
Lowering his head in deep thought, the Colonel then raises a finger... "but its up to you guys... it always has been."
Without hesitation, the Colonel finishes his remarks by using Phred to shoot a smiley face into the side of February's house... unsatisfied, he reloads and pitches his empty Miller Lite can into the air... putting 4 rounds into it before it lands into the garbage can.
"Gentlemen, don't we have a Barbecue coming up?"
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Episode IX - No BBQ... just another Roasting
Written by CNC
The FURY, having been threw a crap load of drama over their first 2 months, have yet again endured another assault... a real fucking mess too. The house is left dirty as sin, and the yards have been destroyed by invading Vets... driving their Prius's all over the lawn trying to bust into the perimeter. Fortunately the collective defenses held, and many a wrecked hybrid car is abandoned at the curb. But still, the FURY is left wondering why they remain the "ground zero" of the new KTC Chase Development... all while trying to plan the BBQ with their neighbors.
"Holy shit guys, I try to gather supplies for our BBQ and come back to a wholesale slaughter?" the Colonel exclaims. "I mean, seriously guys, couldn't it have waited until I got back?"
The Colonel points at all the carnage around the January property. Smoldering Toyota Pri-i along every curb, bodies of Veterans scattered about the lawn, and bullet holes everywhere... even a few select Vet heads freshly spiked near the front door. Looks of disdain locked on their faces, frozen in time thru their grizzly deaths.
"No way Colonel... this had to be done," chimes in Srains. "Besides, they deserved it..."
"Fucking A Colonel, from the start we had to do this..." exclaims Probe. "Besides, without you around to draw fire, it was absolutely necessary that we fight them on our own terms. Carry on!"
The Colonel continues to walk the battlefield... trying his best to conceal his smiles of satisfaction.
Out of nowhere a handful of visitors round the corner... the Colonel instinctively grabs for his sidearm, while at the same time realizing that its only his crazy neighbors.
Doc, Josh, Lumber, and Dizy saunter onto the FURY property... apparently uninvited.
As Doc is staring down the barrel of the Colonel's nickel plated .357, he speaks up... but uncharacteristically calm this time. "Look CNC, we've been here before, remember?"
"Uh, yeah... I do" the Colonel stammers.
"Come on man, we all have some serious shit going on too... you know?" Lumber offers with a look of absolute sincerity.
The Colonel squints at the intrusion and supposed offerings.
"Damnit Colonel, we aren't your enemies..." Josh the Lineman spouts off.
The Colonel still cannot re-holster his favored weapon, but uncontrollably blinks... trying to get his bearings. Unsure what "friends" are anymore.
"Look man, the Catalina Wine Mixers are here for you," says Doc.
"Sure we think your house is whacked out... but we are always right here for you guys," adds Lumberguy. "But shit Colonel, look at March."
Josh the Lineman cautiously steps forward, towards the Colonel... leery of the large caliber handgun directed at him and his brothers... "look man, we are okay here..."
"Yeah Colonel, you and the FURY ought to look at your other neighbor..." interrupts Doc.
In unison, the Wine Mixers exclaim... "FURY, you need to watch out for the March Madness... there are some trouble makers in there."
"Really?" answers the Colonel.
"I think we have something to say about that shit," Probe exclaims with total satisfaction and anticipation. "I think I have something to add for a change. Carry on."
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Episode X - The Colonel meets Q-Dog (The Retrospective)
Written by CNC
Once upon a time, these quitters did not know each other. Yet, at some point... some how... some where... they came together and built a team.
During those early days, Dogonhunt was hammering away at folks... doing his best to sell his story. Telling the tail of addiction recovery... yet, no one was listening...
This guy was top notch... only the biggest idiots would ignore him. And plenty of them were turning a blind eye.
Well, along came the biggest PRICK in all of KTC history... The Colonel.
History is not 100% accurate in its recounting, but what is obvious and clear... somehow the connection happened.
"Hey Q-Dog, I see what you are gunning for... I love it..." the Colonel offered.
DogOnHunt, unsure of this tainted jackass decided to reply... he took a chance.
"Colonel, I see what you are going thru..." Mr Dog shares. "What is your deal?"
The Colonel sees an opening... a chance to help a Brother. "Q-Dog, I have some history here... its not good, I am poison around here, but I believe in you... you can do this."
Hesitantly Dog speaks up... "Colonel, I am not sure about you... if you are quit though, I will quit with you."
SO ENDETH THE RECOLLECTION.
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EPISODE XI - CNC meets Probe (The Retrospective)
Written by CNC
These two really just bumped into each other... nothing was meant to be, just a clear case of FATE!
It all pretty much boils down to this... they have a shared military history... AND a "fuck you" type mentality.
"Hey Probe, this is the Colonel... can you talk?" the Colonel asks during their first phone call.
Probe, true to form, really doesn't give a shit about who he is talking to.
"Hello?" the Colonel repeats?
"Yeah what do you want?" Probe asks, still unsure who he is talking to.
Colonel No Cope persists, "Hey Probe, I know you are military, and I respect that... I need someone like you to understand what I am saying... are you game?"
Probe delays in answering for quite some time... but eventually chimes in.
"Okay you serial caving fucker... what do you want from me?" Probe asks.
Undaunted, the Colonel knows exactly what he needs to say...
"Fuck all that shit Probe... you damn well know we have bigger fish to fry... bigger battles to fight" blasts out the Colonel.
Probe remains silent for quite some time... and the Colonel can here it over the phone.
"Well brother whether you like it or not... I am here for you... fuck the Vets..." states the Colonel.
Probe sits back in his chair and considers the Colonel's offerings.
No one on KTC has done this before to his knowledge... Probe, the brutal fucker that he is, signs up.
Muttering under his breath, "fuck all of you".
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Episode XII: The Aftermath
Written by CNC
Before reading this story, I would like to send out my prayers to Jesse and his wife. I sincerely hope everything gets back to normal for you and remains that way.
A number of weeks have passed since we last heard about our friends in January… the house that FURY built. Back when they were actively preparing for the mega-BBQ event with their friends in February.
Now, tumbleweed bounces across the cratered lawn passed a massive pile of bonfire wood which goes untended… and unburned. Where a casual passerby only notices the wrecked and torched out Priusi around the property and accompanied by thousands of bullet casings of varying calibers. The dead bodies and spiked heads have since rotted beyond recognition and remain only as a reminder of what had once occurred here.
The house remains occupied however… by number of the original FURY of legend. Nowadays, the property is more like one of those rundown places where grumpy old men shoo away salesmen by waving shotguns or screaming at neighborhood kids to get off the lawn. Something has indeed changed… and what follows is derived from what WKTC’s investigative reporters have uncovered.
---
It’s a very cold January day in KTC Chase as the members of the FURY go about their daily business quietly. No action to speak of… very little talking. Just the guys doing their own thing. Probe keeping himself busy picking up recyclables; Kyle surfing fat chick porn; and Brick paging thru the latest issue of Bon Apetite magazine.
Srains is pacing back and forth in the kitchen debating with himself between what he wants to cook for everyone or rehearsing his KTC Burrow 2018 Mayoral campaign speech. So, he elects to multi-task and do both… much to the confusion of his FURY audience.
Outside, the sounds of the occasional up-armored Prius break the silence as the authorities continue to patrol the neighborhood… the drivers and gunners on constant guard, white knuckled and nervous. Eager to get passed this block, yet vigilant enough to maintain “the peace” by whatever means they deem necessary.
Probe growls out a few choice insults as they roll passed him, then he dumps a bucket of beer cans into the mandatory KTC recycle bins, next to the recycled paper collectors, stacks of recycled cardboard, piles of bottles, and even a bucket for recycling human feces.
“Waste not want not” being the logo stamped on the containers.
“What the fuck has happened around here,” he mumbles as he turns towards the perimeter gate… which has also fallen into disrepair.
Just then around the corner bounds JTL… “whats up Pops? I just love these nice quiet days, don’t you?”
“Who are you again?” Probe snorts out.
“Yeah, I see that I already missed the KTC Courtesy Patrol… I try to wave and smile at them every time they…” but before JTL can finish his sentence, Probe swings the beer can bucket. Catching JTL right alongside his head.
As his eyes are literally spinning in circles from the impact, JTL just rubs this head and whines, “OOOooowww, what was that for?”
“I fucking felt like it… now carry on.”
About that time, a relatively new friend to our heroes comes onto the property… easily dodging the landmines and snickering at the spiked heads, stopping on occasion to point at one, “I knew that guy… what a douche too. Yo Probe, whats up asshole? Wanna go pick a fight?”
Probe looks over to see CanofBeans walking thru the wreckage and grimaces… “maybe, whatcha got in mind?”
“Well, I heard about this new guy down the road in April… I bet we could stir up some great shit over there,” he says with a devil-may-care grin and a wink. Probe hesitates… then COB drops the clincher, “I hear that the Mods are gathering already and spouting all sorts of stuff.”
“I’m in, just let me grab a few things and let the others know about…” just then he is interrupted by the arrival of a what appears to be a Brinks armored car painted jet black with fully tinted windows. The rig rumbles up to the curb in front of January and stops… engine then sputters into silence.
With a quick glance up and down the street, COB notices a few Mod Priusi stationed in overwatch positions a couple houses down in each direction. “Hang on Probe, I’ll let the rest of your brothers know… be right back,” he says then sprints into the house to grab everyone he can find.
Probe stands there gazing at the stationary security detail… thumbing the safety off of the concealed automatic in his pocket.
One by one, the FURY members cautiously join Probe in the driveway… Srains, Brick, Kyle, MattyB, TrainerJesse, and even TexasChief strolls out polishing what he calls his Liberal Re-education Tool… a bat wrapped with barbed wire. JTL huddles nearby… squinting to see if he knows any of the visitors.
The silence is deafening. The situation uncertain.
All that is clear, is that something unusual is about to happen.
Coming soon... Episode XIII: The Return of the Colonel...?
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Episode XIII: The Return of the Colonel… ?
Written by CNC
Screw it... so much new material, I already have enough for an episode XIV. Might as well post this one.
When we left The FURY, they were gathered just outside the garage door of the January house. Watching as a KTC security detail has stationed itself along the curb. Silent with no movement or activity of any sort.
-----------------------------
“What the fuck is this all about,” asks Chief.
“I know I am relatively new compared to you guys, but have any of you ever seen anything like this before?” asks MattyB.
CanofBeans shakes his head slowly… uncertain. “I have seen lots of shit around here… and heard a lot of stories, but this is fucking weird Mod shit right here.” He clenches his firsts and cracks his neck to each side, “you guy had best be ready for anything.”
“Let them come get some… I don’t give a fuck” growls Probe, his steely eyes focused on the armored car before them.
“Hey guys, maybe if I just walk down there and see what they want? Maybe I can help without any unnecessary…” Srains is drowned out as two black helicopters blast into view… hovering just above the Brinks truck… rotor wash blowing debris and recyclables everywhere.
“Damnit, I just organized that shit…” yells Probe over the sound of the prop blast. “Fuck ‘em, they can clean it up themselves.”
Just then, the back doors of the rig swing open slowly and out climbs four mean in black leather, with sun glasses, and those black leather police hats… complete with studs and chains.
JTL lets slip an audible sigh of approval before Probe slaps him on the back of the head with a shush.
The lead helo, outfitted with a public address system, volume turned up to 11, broadcast the following announcement:
“Do not be alarmed. We are your friends. We have taken all the steps necessary to ensure your safety. This is for your own good. After receiving hundreds of rumors… et em… factual reports, we apprehended a few suspects for re-education. Again, this was done for the safety of the community and to protect you from yourselves. We are now returning one of them in as quietly and unceremoniously as possible to prevent any misguided accusations or further bloodshed. Once we leave, we wish you all happy happy thoughts and shiny smiley days. Thank you, now carry on.”
One of the leather clad security men then reaches into the truck and pulls out a sledgehammer and a 6’ steel rod and walks up to the FURY’s front lawn. Stunned and confused, the group watches as he hammers the rod into the ground. Another guard affixes a chain and collar to the end and returns to the back of the truck.
In unison, the four guards lean into the truck and remove a two-wheeled handcart, with what looks like a man strapped to it. He appears to be wearing a filthy white straight jacket, and a leather muzzle strapped over his mouth… secured with a 2500 series government padlock.
They wheel the cart over to the yard, where they put the collar and chain onto the “prisoner”, securing it again, with a similar unbreakable padlock. Once properly attached, three of them draw their cattle prods from their utility belts, while the fourth cautiously unstraps the figure from the cart and backs away.
The “the prisoner” then turns to look at each guard, then scans the group as they watch in stunned silence.
“Hey… hey guys, isn’t that the Colonel?” asks Brick. “I would recognize those fucking eyes and his I’m-Gonna-Kill-You gaze from a million miles away.”
“Where the fuck has he been?” asks Kyle.
“Better yet… what the fuck have they done to him?” adds Srains.
The “Colonel” tests the chain, then sits down on the nearest pile of sandbags as he watches the security detail back out of the neighborhood, slowly and carefully. Once the ground forces are out of range, the helos race out of FURYan airspace as quickly as they arrived blasting the LEGO Movie song “Everything is Awesome” over the PA on their way out. Leaving nothing but deafened ears and confused looks.
“Now I’m pissed,” Probe hisses as he backhands JTL out of frustration… “this kind of explains a bad dream I had about the time of The Colonel’s disappearance. I thought I was abducted and experimented on by a bunch of guys dressed like those jokers… all the while, I could not talk or fight back. Very weird.”
Despite the seriousness of the events, everyone starts laughing hysterically.
“What!!! What the fuck are you losers laughing at?” Probe looks around the group trying to figure it out.
Then COB chimes in on behalf of the crowd… “So, let me get this straight. You were abducted by a bunch of gay looking guys, in tight black leather clothes, then ‘experimented’ on? Were they by chance wearing ass-less chaps and singing YMCA?”
“FUCK YOU. Who are you anyway,” Probe grunts, then walks back into the house to watch more Figure Skating.
“So guys, what do we do now?” asks Kyle.
“That’s a very good question, I need to make a few phone calls first,” says Srains as he reaches for his cell phone. “One way or another, we’ll get to the bottom of this.”
Then an unfamiliar character pushes his way thru the crowd to the front. “Hey guys, I’m Zyx… I just moved in and don’t know much about this neighborhood, but if you ask me, thats some pretty messed up stuff right there.”
“Damn right,” says Mr Persson… some call him Roger.
Then as usual, JTL bounces back around the corner innocently enough. “So, does anyone want to talk about their day? Or about boobies?”
Coming soon - Episode XIV: Caged Like A "Dog"
-
1/19/18 @ 11:22
My HOF Speech
I'm Steve, and my last dip was Friday 9/29/17. I have been nicotine free since.
I have been dipping for far longer than I care to admit (30 out of the last 31 years). I quit for over a year 8 years ago, but caved. If I had known about this site and had these kinds of resources I think I would have been able to get the help I needed then to stay quit. I'm glad that I've found it now and will be on here daily checking in, encouraging others, and looking for help when I need it. I have been trying to read and research through the fog and the moods and the lack of focus over the past couple days and have already found incredible stories and have seen how supportive everyone is of each other. It's amazing how dead accurate the list of symptoms is for me so far, and I appreciate that as a resource to know what to expect in the future.
I joined my quit group and added my name to roll call. Thank you to everyone that has encouraged me so far!!!
Today has been my best day so far, but I can feel the "fog" rolling in. Hopefully it didn't cause me to ramble too much!
With that simple intro post I showed up here at KTC like most everyone else before me. A FAILURE and an ADDICT.
What? Does that sound harsh? I had tried to quit repeatedly over the course of those 31 years and had FAILED. I stopped for a year and a half or so (notice the word "stopped" instead of "quit" or "Quit", there is a difference) during that time (pre-KTC) and had CAVED (a word I didn't know at the time) and FAILED. As Quitters go, I was a FAILURE. Let's be honest, everyone that posts a Day 1 here has been a FAILURE at QUITTING. So, what's different for me now??? KTC.
When I first showed up on the KTC scene, I had a number of "vets" reach out to me. I'm gonna kick myself in the ass if I miss any, but INKcogKNEEdough, FISHFLORIDA, and JeffW were the first three to welcome me. I didn't know it at the time (how could I???) but those are some badass quitters to have welcome you to the site!!! They all sent me their digits, I sent them mine. We started texting a little. They made me promise to send my day # every day in addition to posting roll. Fish made me promise to do it every single day until I made HOF (and still won't let me stop now that I'm here). I have texted all three of them (whether they wanted it or not) every day since. Scratch that, I think I may have missed one or two days out of those first hundred, but I have NEVER missed a roll post.
One thing I learned early in my quit is that I'm not special, and neither are you. I spent a LOT of time that first week (and since) pouring through the info here on KTC, particularly the what to expect stuff found here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp) and here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/symptoms.asp). Anyone that says they don't go through those things at roughly the same times is full of crap. The DEGREE to which you experience it may vary, but you will go through it. Why does that matter? Because KTC separates Quitters by Quit date into Quit groups so that our brothers and sisters are experiencing the same things we are, at around the same times, so we can support each other and help each other through it. We rage together. We fog together. We funk together. We hit HOF together. We bond over this addiction and what it takes to Quit it.
I am a proud card carrying member of the January '18 F.U.R.Y., and if you don't know what that is (or it doesn't scare the ever loving crap out of you) I very, VERY highly suggest catching up with us here (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30350913/1/). These crazy bad ass quitters have been by my side from the day I got here and there is no way I'd be writing this speech if it hadn't been for them. Everyone thinks their own particular group is the best. I know mine is. I exchanged digits with as many of them as I could (not quite all, but most). JTL and Donewithit share my quit date and we hit HOF together. A few more "vets" reached out and I reached out to them and others. My daily text list grew to over 45 people. I don't send group texts so it takes a minute or two every morning, but it gives me that much more accountability. My Quit is that much stronger. I watched my brothers and sisters rage (because I never did myself), watched our group expand and contract as people joined and people caved, and formed bonds I never knew possible with a bunch of "internet strangers" all because of our addiction to this horrible bitch called nicotine. I turned as many of these people as I could into "text friends" and "online friends" rather than "internet strangers". Ultimately I was able to even meet up with one (Montovon) when he was on my turf for business.
Of all of my F.U.R.Y. brothers and sisters I have to admit I'm probably closest to CNC, Dog, Probe, Brick, and Kyle. These five guys have caught all of my crap almost since the beginning, and I'm here for theirs. I very honestly owe a LOT of my Quit to them. Why? Because they are not internet strangers to me, they are brothers. I know that if I am struggling, they are going to be there to kick me in the ass and keep me Quit. How do I know that? They've proven it! I was headed to work one morning (and hadn't posted or texted anyone yet - shame, shame) and needed gas. Right about the time I was pulling in I had a HUGE crave, so I sent them all texts. Before I stopped at the pump 3 or 4 of the 5 had replied, at 5:00am or so my time (so around 7:00am their time). "Be strong", "You've got this", I honestly don't remember exactly what was said but it was along those lines. Crisis averted. Quit saved. Every single one of them replied, some faster than others.
If I can offer one single piece of advice to new quitters it's this: Reach out. Send your contact information to as many people as you can, both in your group as well as outside of it. PM me, I'll give you mine. Don't stop there though. That's not good enough. Text them. Make it a point to call them at least a couple of times here and there. Meet them if you possibly can. Why? Because posting roll isn't always enough. Because texting someone here and there isn't always enough. If you can turn people into friends the same way that I have you simply CANNOT fail to QUIT. They won't let you.
I posted this story into my intro a while back. I re-read it periodically because I think it demonstrates the difference between KTC and most other things I've tried in the past.
An addict fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The addict called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him to buy a ladder, but the addict could not find a ladder in this hole he was in. A doctor walked by. The addict said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him some drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The addict said thanks, but when the pills ran out he was still in the hole. A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the addict's cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get in there? Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the addict talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The addict thanked him, but was still in his hole. A priest came by and heard the addict calling for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said, "I'll pray for you." The priest got down on his knees and prayed for the addict, then left. The addict was very grateful and he read the whole Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole. A recovering addict happened to be passing by. The addict cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering addict jumped in the hole with him. The addict said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here!" But the recovering addict said, "It's okay. I've been here before. I know the way out."
- Anonymous
I am a recovering addict. I will never be cured. 100 days is freaking awesome and I'm proud of it, but my journey isn't over. I promise you this: If you drink the KTC Kool-Aid, if you do everything you can to listen and learn and turn these random internet strangers into your friends, you will not fail. You will Quit. You will be QUIT. If you don't have enough people down in the hole with you, reach out to me. I'll jump in. I know the way out, or at least the beginning of the path. We'll figure out the rest together.
SRains918 (Steve)
Proud Member of the January '18 F.U.R.Y.
106 Days Quit And Counting (As of writing this)
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1/19/18 @ 11:43
Day 113
Whelp, I'm a dumbass.
No, I didn't cave...
I ignored myself. I ignored one of the things I constantly say and try to remind people. I forgot something I wrote in my fucking HOF speech (posted above so I can find it easily) a week or so ago.
One thing I learned early in my quit is that I'm not special, and neither are you. I spent a LOT of time that first week (and since) pouring through the info here on KTC, particularly the what to expect stuff found here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp) and here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/symptoms.asp). Anyone that says they don't go through those things at roughly the same times is full of crap. The DEGREE to which you experience it may vary, but you will go through it.
Welcome to my post-HOF funk!!! It's real folks...
The last few days I've wondered to varying degrees why the hell I'm still here and posting like I do.
Roll? Yeah, I'm going to keep doing that. I know it's important.
Support? Yeah, I'll keep posting below the line in the 2018 groups. I know that's important too.
Beyond that? No thanks. I'm done. Done with the drama. Done with watching everyone fog and rage and post ridiculous crap and fight over stupid shit. DONE!!!
Bullshit. That's what that is. It's the nic bitch picking at a small chink in my quit armor. It's that post-HOF fog that everyone (else???) goes through (but surely not ME)!!! Fuck that. That's bullshit.
I'm not through it yet. I'm still in the middle of it. I don't want to forget it though, so here I am in my intro posting about it. I recognize it so that must be good, right?
I WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOO!!!
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Day 113
Whelp, I'm a dumbass.
No, I didn't cave...
I ignored myself. I ignored one of the things I constantly say and try to remind people. I forgot something I wrote in my fucking HOF speech (posted above so I can find it easily) a week or so ago.
One thing I learned early in my quit is that I'm not special, and neither are you. I spent a LOT of time that first week (and since) pouring through the info here on KTC, particularly the what to expect stuff found here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp) and here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/symptoms.asp). Anyone that says they don't go through those things at roughly the same times is full of crap. The DEGREE to which you experience it may vary, but you will go through it.
Welcome to my post-HOF funk!!! It's real folks...
The last few days I've wondered to varying degrees why the hell I'm still here and posting like I do.
Roll? Yeah, I'm going to keep doing that. I know it's important.
Support? Yeah, I'll keep posting below the line in the 2018 groups. I know that's important too.
Beyond that? No thanks. I'm done. Done with the drama. Done with watching everyone fog and rage and post ridiculous crap and fight over stupid shit. DONE!!!
Bullshit. That's what that is. It's the nic bitch picking at a small chink in my quit armor. It's that post-HOF fog that everyone (else???) goes through (but surely not ME)!!! Fuck that. That's bullshit.
I'm not through it yet. I'm still in the middle of it. I don't want to forget it though, so here I am in my intro posting about it. I recognize it so that must be good, right?
I WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOO!!!
Recognizing you are in a funk is huge... gives you strength to battle and awareness that you CAN win.
Mental health rest is a courageous effort to heal.
IQWYT
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2/12/18 @ 08:40
Day 137 - QLF ODAAT
Had a great meetup with Gottadoit and Skol on Friday night. Skol and I had been talking about a get together. Skol and Gottadoit had been talking about getting together. Then we all figured out we live 10-15 minutes apart. Didn't take much in the way of planning to meet Friday night over a few beers.
Still interested in putting together something for the local quitters (already posted in the meetup section). I know there's at least one more in Mesa, Jesse up in Flag, and John down in the Tucson area.
Meeting other quitters has been another nail in the nic bitches coffin for me. With that kind of accountability how can I possibly fail???
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Congrats on that 200 days quit !!
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Fishflorida-694- quit with Srains in his intro because it seems like the cool thing to do...
Congrats on 200 Amigo.
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5/16/18 @ 10:09
230 Days - Damn...
I think I mentioned a while back that I wasn't using this thread like I expected to. My initial plan was to document the crap out of my quit journey so I didn't forget anything. A funny thing happened on the way to doing that though - I realized it wasn't as important to me as I thought.
My quit journey has been interesting to say the least. My quit group was a shit show for a long time. It's funny I didn't recognize it as much when I was in the middle of it, but watching May '18 go through so damn much of the same things we did it really hit home for me. Don't get me wrong, I miss the fuck out of Dan, Jim, and Billy. I feel awful that I lost contact with them after they were banned. A lot of that had to do with the time required for me to conduct. A lot of it had to do with my being in the middle of making a playoff push for my final HS soccer season as a coach. Neither of those things are acceptable excuses. I miss the fuck out of my brothers and understand why some of those guys in May don't want to let go.
So, I've spent a lot of time thinking about trying to reconnect with those guys. Someone started a GroupMe and I jumped right in because I wanted to catch up. That turned into a fucking nightmare though. Too many of the wrong people there and it basically turned into an ambush on those guys. Maybe it was exactly what it was supposed to be but I was too naive to realize it going in (I don't believe that, but have to admit it's possible). Either way, I'm pretty sure that killed off any remaining hope I had to talk to them. I can't reach out now... Crap, one of the posts I saw before I bailed on the group was "Why the fuck would we want to reconnect?". That hurt, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that it was said.
This didn't come close to hurting my quit. I feel like that's strong enough to withstand quite a bit at this point. I almost walked away from KTC though. I was going through a schedule change at work anyway, so I kinda thought "why the fuck not?". I wouldn't say that I was pissed about the group fiasco, but it was definitely discouraging. Many of those people are the same people I post with on here, and I just couldn't justify being a part of that any longer. I haven't done much other than P&G for a week. For several days I only posted roll in Jan '18 and March '18 instead of the 17-18 groups I try to hit. I've started getting all the 2018 groups again. I did today at least. And Oct '11. I feel like I owe a lot of my quit to Scott, especially in times like these when I am thinking of walking away. His words always have a way of bringing me back (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30478355/1/#new).
I'm sharing this here for those that think everything becomes all roses at some point. Life still happens. At 230 days I still get discouraged about things here (or offline) and think about walking away. The important thing is that I still know, even on my toughest days, that would be a mistake.
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Ya know, you just never know who's watching. There are seeds we plant whose fruit we will never know. Know that you watered my tree. Because of that I've been able to go on and tend to others. Thank-you for being a presence of stability and consistency
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Ya know, you just never know who's watching. There are seeds we plant whose fruit we will never know. Know that you watered my tree. Because of that I've been able to go on and tend to others. Thank-you for being a presence of stability and consistency
I can't second this enough brother. You've kept my quit strong, we don't talk enough but thats also cause I'm shit at texting. But you have helped me in my quit and I hope that I can one day return the favor and you can't leave this site, there's gonna be another newbie in the future you're gonna need to talk back from that ledge. You can't help everyone. I've washed my hands of a lot of people on here as sad as that is. But every minute I spend chasing down someone who isn't going to appreciate or use the help is a minute I'm not spending helping someone that actually needs the help and will actually listen to me.
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Ya know, you just never know who's watching. There are seeds we plant whose fruit we will never know. Know that you watered my tree. Because of that I've been able to go on and tend to others. Thank-you for being a presence of stability and consistency
I can't second this enough brother. You've kept my quit strong, we don't talk enough but thats also cause I'm shit at texting. But you have helped me in my quit and I hope that I can one day return the favor and you can't leave this site, there's gonna be another newbie in the future you're gonna need to talk back from that ledge. You can't help everyone. I've washed my hands of a lot of people on here as sad as that is. But every minute I spend chasing down someone who isn't going to appreciate or use the help is a minute I'm not spending helping someone that actually needs the help and will actually listen to me.
Wow...
Thank you gentlemen. I mean that sincerely.
I am ok. I'm not going anywhere. I promise. That post was simply my thoughts on a period over the course of the last week or so that were difficult for me personally. It was a reflection on the fact that I contemplated doing something that I ultimately realized (and knew all along) would be a mistake.
You're all stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere.
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Saving this space...
Trying to get one vortex out of my intro and this is where is belongs...
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7/4/18 @ 11:04
I posted this in a couple of the groups, but wanted it preserved here too...
Here I am at 279. Tomorrow is 40 weeks. I could have gotten pregnant the day I quit and the baby would be due tomorrow, and how's THAT for a beautiful mental image... The point is, it's been a while since I quit.
I was off Monday and my GF had some running around to do. My first thought was "Great, I'll have time to myself so I can..." and then I stopped myself. 279 days in and one of my first thoughts about having a little "alone" time was that I could throw a dip in and have peace and quiet while I watched the soccer game. I wasn't craving. I don't have and won't buy dip and no one in the house consumes nicotine in any form. I'm not (currently) in any danger of caving. It's just that the nic bitch has been so embedded into my every day life that those thoughts STILL pop up on their own from time to time because that's what my life used to revolve around.
Crazy...
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I posted this in a couple of the groups, but wanted it preserved here too...
Here I am at 279. Tomorrow is 40 weeks. I could have gotten pregnant the day I quit and the baby would be due tomorrow, and how's THAT for a beautiful mental image... The point is, it's been a while since I quit.
I was off Monday and my GF had some running around to do. My first thought was "Great, I'll have time to myself so I can..." and then I stopped myself. 279 days in and one of my first thoughts about having a little "alone" time was that I could throw a dip in and have peace and quiet while I watched the soccer game. I wasn't craving. I don't have and won't buy dip and no one in the house consumes nicotine in any form. I'm not (currently) in any danger of caving. It's just that the nic bitch has been so embedded into my every day life that those thoughts STILL pop up on their own from time to time because that's what my life used to revolve around.
Crazy...
Those little reminders of you winning should be savored. They ensure that you won’t forget the path you traveled to get to where you are. Freedom.
Happy Independence Day bro. ??????
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7/5/18 @ 10:33
Sent this message to someone and posted in a couple of the newer groups, but wanted to preserve it here in my intro as well.
**********************************************************************************************
Name Withheld,
I haven't mentioned this to anyone and I won't. I did read it back when you wrote it, but was on my phone and didn't want to reply from there (it's a little tougher when you have a lot you want to say). By the time I did log on to my laptop (I tried to stay off my PC while I was on vacation), I decided to let it stew a little more so I could put some real thought into it and NOT react or reply emotionally. I am going to post this (with anything that might identify you removed first) in some of the newer groups though because now that I've started replying I think it can potentially help some of the newer quitters.
I knew why you left. You didn't have to say it. You can't say "It wasn't the addict mind" and "The nicotine isn't what keeps me going back" without at least acknowledging that these things both come from the dreaded "Addict-speak" we hear so much about and come to hate. You wanted to dip. You planned to cave. You left. End of story.
The fact of the matter is that nicotine is every bit as addictive and difficult to quit as heroin. Let that sink in for just a minute... All of the health risks associated with use aside, this shit is every bit as hard to quit as FUCKING HEROIN!!! They'll strap your ass down and give you other drugs for quitting that addiction cold turkey when you try to quit though. Nicotine is freaking legal, so quitting is up to you and you're pretty much on your own.
That's one of the reasons we're all such assholes as we quit, and the root of why we all go through the same things at approximately the same times in our quits. The chemicals in tobacco, much much worse and more concentrated in dip and delivered directly into your bloodstream through your mouth, quickly wire your brain in such a way that you associate pretty much everything positive with that nicotine fix and most things negative with the absence of that fix. It takes weeks or months to form these connections initially, they grow stronger the longer you dip (or smoke), and then it literally takes YEARS to overcome this and re-wire yourself when you quit.
I know quite a few people that have quit smoking. I don't know a single person that has successfully quit dip, outside the people that I know through KTC. Their stories. The things the people before me have gone through. The struggles. The wins. The things that work (for them). The things that don't. Seeing people posting daily with over 1K days quit. These are the things that have helped me so far. These are the things (in some cases) that have scared the shit out of me and kept me posting daily. I'm not a kid. My kids are grown. The time (31 years or so) I spent playing Russian Roulette with tobacco will be in the back of my mind for the rest of my life. Did I wait too long? I can't and won't ever know the answer to that unless something obvious happens in the near future. What I do know is that the best thing to do is to never, ever, EVER fucking start. The next best thing? Quit as early as possible, suffer through the withdrawal, and minimize the amount of time you spend poisoning your heart (or lungs, or mouth, or throat, or stomach, or colon). Today is the newest best day to quit.
I know you believe that "I know myself and I know this isn't a nicotine addiction talking", but that's exactly what that nic bitch wants you to believe. You will not be able to quit until you realize and understand that. When you're ready, truly ready to quit and be quit please let me know. I will be here to support you every step of the way, but you're going to have to answer those dreaded questions first and make a real commitment to quit... YOU can do this. You can quit. KTC can help if you'll drink the kool-aid and do all the right things...
Best of luck!
Steve
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7/10/18 @ 08:55
Everything I've done up to this
point in my life has led me to
where I am today; and I'm pretty
fucking happy about it. All of my
decisions, both good and bad, got
me here. I regret nothing.
Author Unknown
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7/16/18 @ 13:51
291 Days
Dear Intro,
I've had a few weird days from time to time over the last couple of weeks. Not craves per se, more like "You can have just one, it'll help you with..." and then I quickly come to my senses. I know there isn't ANYTHING that dip can do to "help" with anything. I've jumped off that bridge before (as I've mentioned here and there throughout the site) and learned my lesson... No chance of a cave during that time, it was just a bit odd so I threw it in here because I know it's not just me...
Quite honestly, things are fan-fucking-tastic beyond that. Craves are few and far between. I'm not as much of an asshole, or at least not as committed to being one, as I was for the first couple hundred. I still have my moments I suppose... Overall, things are GREAT!
Hard to believe third floor is right around the corner... Then a year... Wow...
Finally ran out and bought a scale over the weekend. This fat guy gained another 45 pounds (that I didn't need) over the last 291 days or so quitting dip. Totally my fault, and I think a fair amount of that can also be attributed to not coaching soccer any more as well (I'm walking about a mile and a half to two miles less per day). So, Patty and I ran out and did what many other empty nesters before us have done - we started buying stuff to turn a spare room into a simple home gym. We spent about $75 on Offer-up for an inclining treadmill and an elliptical with a bike attachment. We got rid of my larger desk and filing cabinet and downsized to something that fits a little better at no cost. We got the stereo set up, as well as a TV, to keep ourselves entertained and picked up a ceiling fan that will eventually find it's way into our grandsons room (for now though, it can help keep US cooler). I also cancelled my gym membership that I haven't been using, so the room will pay for itself in a couple of months. That may seem counterproductive (cancelling the gym), but it just pissed me off to see it debited from my account every month and not get used. It's too hot to walk at any point really right now, so I think this will work out perfectly... I'm going to track my food, start meal prepping, and work out at home daily. That's the plan anyway, and I'll post progress here to keep myself accountable.
No time to get cocky or complacent. I know better. I stopped a year and a half on my own before I fell off. That's not gonna happen this time. I won't let it, ODAAT.
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7/25/18 @ 09:04
I just want to take a minute and thank you all. Holy shit. 300. It's hard to believe, and at the same time it's not.
I'm grateful to all of my January brothers and sisters, whether they're still posting with us or not. I'm proud as FUCK to be making this journey with you all, and you've all helped me in one form or another over the course of the last 300 days. THANK YOU!!!
I'm incredibly thankful for all of the "crusty old vets" that have helped me (and put up with my bullshit) along the way. Every single one of you is an example of what's possible for those of us that are following you, as long as we follow that simple formula. WUPPEDD. It works. I see that every day with you all that are still posting at 500, 1000, 2000, and more. My 300 is but a drop in the bucket...
You "newbies" - I want to thank you too. Part of the reason I've made it this far is watching you struggling early in YOUR quits. It helps remind me where I've been, what I don't want to go through again, and how hard this truly is. If you're reading this and thinking about quitting - do it. Now. It's going to SUCK, but once you get through it's incredible!
Thank you all for being a part of my own personal quit journey. There is no f'n way I could do this on my own!!!
On to 400, ODAAFT!!!
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Congratulations Steve.
You do a lot for KTC, and it doesn't go unnoticed.
Thank you sir!
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Congrats my brother, you are a huge part of my quit.... now.... and for years to come.
Damn proud of you sir.
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Steve,
Great work on 300. And I say "work" because I know that's what it is. Although I was there when you started, you've helped to solidify my quit as well, probably more than you know. Get ready for another 300 daily texts.
Dave DBA FISHFLORIDA
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9/5/18 @ 11:53
Day 342
It's been a while since I've posted in here. It's actually kind of ironic considering that I've told at least 4-5 people in the last week to make sure they're posting and documenting stuff into their Intro so they can find it easily later. Even though I haven't done that as steadily as I've liked so far, re-reading it now brought back so many good (and bad) memories and reminders of what I've been through over the last 342 days...
I've been in a bit of a funk for a little while. I get so hardcore for a time (posting in 26 groups and a shitload of texts) and then scale back so much (posting in 4 groups and a handful of texts). I still haven't (and won't) miss roll. I'm not really sure why I'm posting it here now other than to try to explain why I have been going through active and less active periods from time to time. I'll never stray too far...
I've heard from a few people that this is a normal funk time (330-350 day range). I do know that I've noticed that milestones seem to be rough sometimes. Right around 200. Right around 300. I'm expecting another one right around a year and then again around 400. It's a reasonable trade-off though. I poisoned myself for 31+ years. I don't think I get to complain too much about a rough patch here and there, particularly when life has improved so much over the last 342 days. The stretches in between rough spots continue to get longer, and I think that means I'm still headed the right direction.
I don't really have a whole lot else to say at this point. It just seemed like a good opportunity to take the advice I've been giving - "Document it in your intro"
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Day 342
It's been a while since I've posted in here. It's actually kind of ironic considering that I've told at least 4-5 people in the last week to make sure they're posting and documenting stuff into their Intro so they can find it easily later. Even though I haven't done that as steadily as I've liked so far, re-reading it now brought back so many good (and bad) memories and reminders of what I've been through over the last 342 days...
I've been in a bit of a funk for a little while. I get so hardcore for a time (posting in 26 groups and a shitload of texts) and then scale back so much (posting in 4 groups and a handful of texts). I still haven't (and won't) miss roll. I'm not really sure why I'm posting it here now other than to try to explain why I have been going through active and less active periods from time to time. I'll never stray too far...
I've heard from a few people that this is a normal funk time (330-350 day range). I do know that I've noticed that milestones seem to be rough sometimes. Right around 200. Right around 300. I'm expecting another one right around a year and then again around 400. It's a reasonable trade-off though. I poisoned myself for 31+ years. I don't think I get to complain too much about a rough patch here and there, particularly when life has improved so much over the last 342 days. The stretches in between rough spots continue to get longer, and I think that means I'm still headed the right direction.
I don't really have a whole lot else to say at this point. It just seemed like a good opportunity to take the advice I've been giving - "Document it in your intro"
Right there with you brother.
This all seems so familiar
I would like to post in 22 groups a day (used to be 42, now around 5)
I would like to text all 125 numbers in my phone daily and initiate each text contact (normal now is respond to everyone who sends me a text, as the list has gotten too big)
Like you, I have not missed roll yet and have no intentions of missing any time soon.
My intro was a lot more detailed early on and I sometimes find myself posting there just to have something fresh in there rather than because I had something important to say
Keep doing what you are doing, its obviously working for you and you help a ton of people
I'll quit with you any day brother
Carry On
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Day 342
It's been a while since I've posted in here. It's actually kind of ironic considering that I've told at least 4-5 people in the last week to make sure they're posting and documenting stuff into their Intro so they can find it easily later. Even though I haven't done that as steadily as I've liked so far, re-reading it now brought back so many good (and bad) memories and reminders of what I've been through over the last 342 days...
I've been in a bit of a funk for a little while. I get so hardcore for a time (posting in 26 groups and a shitload of texts) and then scale back so much (posting in 4 groups and a handful of texts). I still haven't (and won't) miss roll. I'm not really sure why I'm posting it here now other than to try to explain why I have been going through active and less active periods from time to time. I'll never stray too far...
I've heard from a few people that this is a normal funk time (330-350 day range). I do know that I've noticed that milestones seem to be rough sometimes. Right around 200. Right around 300. I'm expecting another one right around a year and then again around 400. It's a reasonable trade-off though. I poisoned myself for 31+ years. I don't think I get to complain too much about a rough patch here and there, particularly when life has improved so much over the last 342 days. The stretches in between rough spots continue to get longer, and I think that means I'm still headed the right direction.
I don't really have a whole lot else to say at this point. It just seemed like a good opportunity to take the advice I've been giving - "Document it in your intro"
Right there with you brother.
This all seems so familiar
I would like to post in 22 groups a day (used to be 42, now around 5)
I would like to text all 125 numbers in my phone daily and initiate each text contact (normal now is respond to everyone who sends me a text, as the list has gotten too big)
Like you, I have not missed roll yet and have no intentions of missing any time soon.
My intro was a lot more detailed early on and I sometimes find myself posting there just to have something fresh in there rather than because I had something important to say
Keep doing what you are doing, its obviously working for you and you help a ton of people
I'll quit with you any day brother
Carry On
I can’t remember if I told you or not…but that first year had many up and downs. The second year was almost all good. I had some moments that tested me but it was easily dealt with since I posted roll. This third year has been awesome. I can’t remember my last real craving or funk.
Post roll each day and whatever time or energy you have is a bonus. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t be hardcore all the time. I too go in and out of these spells. Nothing wrong with it at all. Take care of yourself first…
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Day 365
Holy SHIT. I cannot believe how fast (and at times how slow) the last year has gone. I've had struggles and victories, ups and downs, funks, rages, anxiety, and wonderful times with friends and family I'd forgotten could be spent without crap in my mouth or sneaking off to get that fix. Through it all my KTC brethren have been here to support me and help me through it. There are far too many folks to single out and I'm not even going to try because I don't want to accidentally leave someone out, but please know that I appreciate the impact you've ALL had on my quit.
If you're reading this while you're trying to figure out whether or not it's time, just spit that crap out. Take that step. Now. Get registered with the site. Find your quit group. Post that Day 1 promise and don't look back. It's going to be one of the most difficult things you'll ever do, and every single struggle will be worth it. I was YOU a year ago. I took that step. If I can make it, so can you!
One year down for me. A lifetime to go. I will continue to WUPP and harass as many of you as I can. It works. ODAAFT works.
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Congrats on 365 days, SRains! Thank you for paying it forward and helping out not only me but so many other new quitters. You do not realize how much it means to all of us. Cheers, brother, and here's to many, many more years of quit!
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It's kind of strange. I remember that I had such high hopes for my intro. Man, I was going to post in it almost daily so I could get my thoughts down. Document my struggles. Celebrate my wins. That kind of thing. A daily diary of my quit journey.
That didn't happen... ::)
Here I am again though. I do still try to put the big ones in here...
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What a crappy week. Many of you know that I lost my grandfather at the end of last week. That man is the single largest influence on my life, the most intelligent person I've ever met, and someone I've always known I can count on unfailingly. He was awake and completely normal on Monday, and never woke up after he fell asleep. He died two days later, in his sleep, with my grandmother holding his hand and surrounded by family.
He was 102 though. It wasn't a great shock. Over the course of the last 19 years since my son was born I have treated every holiday like it could potentially be their last and made sure to spend it with them. While my mom was living in Israel (the last seven years or so, until recently), I hauled my laptop to them every other weekend so they could Skype with my mom and visit with my son and I. My grandfather lived a very long, very full life and I'm at peace with his passing.
My grandmother is struggling, obviously. They would have been married 73 years the first week of November. She has dementia and Alzheimer's which makes it INCREDIBLY difficult on her as well as the rest of us. She forgets he died. She remembers he died. She wakes up and doesn't know where he is. She wakes up and remembers that she's alone. She's outlived everyone on her side of the family by a good 6-8 years because she needed to take care of her husband. Her work is complete. I expect that her remaining time with us will be short.
Which brings us to yesterday. Sitting at work. Minding my own business. Probably on KTC, I always seem to be on KTC, when my mom calls. She was on her way to see my grandmother and has a flat. I asked about roadside, she said she didn't have it. My son was getting ready to leave (we work together a couple days a week) so I asked him if he'd swing by and change it. No problem he said, and off he went... About 45 minutes later I headed toward home and called to see how things were going. He was struggling with the tire. FUCK! Now I have to head over, and it's a good 30-40 minutes in the other direction...
This is probably a good time to mention that I fucked my back up a few weeks ago (the week before the AZ meat-up). I'd mostly recovered, but keep tweaking it over the last couple weeks and just can't shake it (which is weird, because it's not like I have any stress in my life or anything)... So, now my throbbing achy lower back get to change a tire...
I get there and my kid is sitting there. He's got her car up in the air. He's got all five lug nuts off. No dice. Bullshit. C'mon kid. It's a freaking tire. Pull it off.
Nope.
I'm old AF. I've NEVER met a tire I couldn't change. I did it for a living at the end of HS and beginning of college. I used to make more money street racing than I did at work, and I built all my own shit. Would. Not. Fucking. Budge. Now, I've come across some rims that were stuck to hubs before, but never like this. I beat that sucker from the inside with a rubber hammer. I literally sat on the ground and alternated kicking the tire on either side to break it loose. No dice. Now my back is hurting so much that I'm pretty close to the point of involuntary tears, and if I try to hit this thing any harder I'm going to knock it off the jack.
So, I put it all back together. Lower it to the ground. Back all the lug nuts off a couple turns, and have her drive it back and forth 30-40 feet a couple times. Surely that'll break it free, right? The weight of the car HAS to be enough to break it free.
Nope.
Have I mentioned yet that I hadn't eaten since breakfast and that I'm a complete ASS when I'm hungry? Well, now it's getting dark and late and I'm no closer to having it taken care of.
And then mom says "Hey, I actually DO have roadside. Should I call them?"
It took everything I had at this point to not lose my shit.
So, she called roadside assistance. She explained that she had a flat, that we were unable to break it loose even though we'd been able to get all the lug nuts off, we didn't think they'd be able to change it, and that she needed a tow truck. They gave us an ETA of 45 minutes...
An hour and a half later, some kid pulls up in a pickup. Not a tow truck. A pickup. He's a tiny little thing (so, normal sized to you) and I just laugh. There's no WAY you're going to get that tire off kid. Where's the tow truck? No tow truck he says, I'm here to change the tire.
After a few minutes of dicking around he comes to the same conclusion. That tire is NOT coming off. We'll have to call insurance back and get ANOTHER person to come out. As some of you may have noticed, I'm not very patient sometimes. At this point I'm tired, I'm hungry, I've got to piss so bad I can feel it in my teeth, I've been fighting with this fucking tire for the last three or more hours and the 12 year old kid that came out tells me we need to call them back.
That didn't go well. He was not very happy when he left. I'm pretty sure he'll talk about me when they ask him why he went back to school to do something less physical with his life. I don't think he cried, but I bet he was close...
Now it's dark. On the side of the road. Three of us have tried and failed to CHANGE THIS FUCKING TIRE. My mom gets BACK on the phone with her insurance. Explains it, again. Another 45-50 minutes... FML
My mom and Patty decide that they're going to run over to my grandmothers to pick up the DVD she was on her way to get in the first place. I'm pretty sure part of it was to find a safe quiet place away from me...
After they took off - BAM!!! The biggest fucking crave I've had in a long time. Not just a crave, I heard "just one. No one has to know. You'll feel so much better". On top of that, my mouth started watering HARD in anticipation. Scared the shit out of me. I texted Broc right away:
Me - "I'm not going to so you don't have to call (and I can't answer) but I want a dip so bad my mouth is watering... Fuck"
Broc - "I will weld a spike onto my steel toe and fly my ass to az to visit you"
Me - "You'll have to check them. I'm not gonna. Just struggling right now"
Broc - "I'll drive then"
Quick. To the point.
The 2nd tow truck finally showed up an hour later. He didn't even TRY to change it once I explained what was wrong. They got it up on the flatbed and on it's way to her mechanic, and I drove my mom home 45-50 minutes the OTHER direction.
This started at 3:30 or so. I finally got home at 9:30. I lost to a fucking tire, but not to that bitch.
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And that was exactly how that convo went to the letter! I was deep in some of my own shit, but always have time to remind my friends of the pain that was and the pain that will be. There's no excuse to cave, and I don't feel like you were going to cave. If you were that far into it, you'd better have called. You've got this man. You're so strong that it's ok to break it down now and then. Makes you human. Just never go back, not for any reason.
And toward the tail end of that convo which wrapped off and on into the next day I get this:
"390 and QLFWYT Just in case you were curious"
To which I responded "I wasn't". That wasn't callous. I trust you man and you know that all you have to do is call me. I'll always be in your corner as you've been in mine. These are difficult times in your life for sure, but not insurmountable. Keep your head up bro.
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Irish had a shitload of amazing quit info in his old intro on Tapa. I've wanted to keep track of it, so I'm going to move some of his intro wisom here into mine.
PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT TAKING CREDIT FOR THIS NOR DO INTEND FOR ANYONE TO THINK THIS IS MINE
My plan at the moment is to simply quote his posts on Tapa, copy it (including the quote info) and paste it here...
EDIT - I'm in the process of editing the formatting to make it look better on SMF. Once that's complete I'll start fixing the broken links to point to anything that's been migrated to SMF or to the Archive located at Tapatalk.
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The Three Questions
Now that I've been here 33 days, I've noticed a few more cavers, and my understanding of caving has increased proportionally. (For those of you who are wondering, I'm not preparing my own cave, I'm digging my "quit hole" a bit deeper, and hoping to help some of the cavers understand why the wheels fell off their quit.)
So, after you cave, you come back here, and are presented with the demand to answer the "three questions". Before you do that, you should answer one question for yourself: "Why the fock are you here, knowing how much shite you are going to face for caving?" I can't help you answer this one. You know why you're here, and what you are going to face.
However, knowing that the general gist of your answer is that you need this place in order to quit, I suggest that you take an attitude of humble receptiveness in your re-assimilation into KTC. You are going to give answers to the "three questions". More likely than not, some of your answers will be questioned. Do not take offense at this (even when offense is intended). Most of us addicts can sniff out an addicts lie or misrepresentation, and we will be all over it. So consider the merits of each question. Search yourself for vulnerabilities, and shore them up.
Now that you have "humbled yourself up", here are some reflections that may help you answer the three questions:
1. What happened? This can be rephrased as "How did you set yourself up for failure?". When you cave, you build the scenario in which it is very easy to say "yes" to nicotine. The answer to this question sets up the answer to the next question.
2. Why did it happen? Depending on the addict, you can set yourself up for failure 10 times before you actually cave. The key word here is addict. The short answer is "I'm an addict, that's what addicts do." The long answer is much more complicated, and different for every cave. The answer to this question is the key to getting back on the quit. However, you can't get here without answering the first question first.
Being addicted to nicotine is like having a pipeline to your body, with a valve that is "normally open". Nicotine flows through this valve and into your body unless you consciously or unconsciously keep this valve shut. When you cave, you make a decision, at that particular moment, to let go of the valve.
So the answer to "why" is not "what made you do it?", it's "why did you let go of the valve?" "why did you decide, at that particular moment, not to be quit?" Don't look outside yourself for this answer. Shite happens to all of us. It's how we decide to react to this shite that makes us who we are.
We are addicts. We have to study addiction and addicts to know how to answer this question.
3. How are you going to keep it from happening again? Once you get past the second question, and understand your answer and your addiction, this one is pretty easy. Look at the tools you have at your disposal. Find out what other tools are out there that may be used. Figure out where you are most vulnerable, make plans not to make yourself vulnerable, and have an escape route when you find yourself vulnerable. That's the general answer. The specific answer for each cave must be tailored to each individual.
We are all just one bad, weak decision away from caving. This is addiction. This is serious.
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Answering the three questions - Reprise
I am now at day 77. Two months ago, I posted some thoughts in here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9654281&t=11541810) about how cavers should go about answering the three questions. These thoughts were based on what I had learned about addiction and caving to that point. Not having caved, I can't, and don't ever want to, speak from experience. That's a major reason why I'm so interested in the subject of addiction and relapse. It's too late for me to prevent the addiction, but I can prevent relapse, if I learn how to do it.
So what have I learned recently about caving (relapse)?
Relapse is a process, it's not an event. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/relapse-prevention.htm)
It's actually a three step process, consisting of the following:
Emotional relapse.
Mental relapse.
Physical relapse.
In emotional relapse, you're not thinking about using. But your emotions and behaviors are setting you up for a possible relapse in the future.
The signs of emotional relapse are:
- Anxiety
- Intolerance
- Anger
- Defensiveness
- Mood swings
- Isolation
- Not asking for help
- Not going to meetings (or not posting on KTC)
- Poor eating habits
- Poor sleep habits
These signs sound familiar? Go back a few posts and read about post acute withdrawal symptoms. Seriously, learn to relax. Make sure you have others you can share this with. Recognizes these symptoms for what they are. You are moving in the direction of a cave.
If you don't get yourself turned away from caving during your emotional relapse, you will move into mental relapse.
In mental relapse there's a war going on in your mind. Part of you wants to use, but part of you doesn't. In the early phase of mental relapse you're just idly thinking about using. But in the later phase you're definitely thinking about using.
The signs of mental relapse are:
- Thinking about people, places, and things you used with
- Glamorizing your past use
- Lying
- Hanging out with old using friends
- Fantasizing about using
- Thinking about relapsing
- Planning your relapse around other people's schedules
It gets harder to make the right choices as the pull of addiction gets stronger. If you don't catch yourself here, you will cave.
When you get the craving, play it through in your mind. Get past the cave and imagine what life then looks like. Remember posting day 1. Remember the suck. Remember how you felt when you initially tossed your can and posted day 1. That's where you will be. It will be like you never quit, because you didn't quit, you stopped.
Reach out. This is the time to open your contacts list and text or call someone and let them know what's going on with you.
Distract yourself. Go for a walk. Get on KTC and go to the Wildcard section and play "This or That", "One Word Post", or "Count to a Million".
Get through the next 30 minutes. Promise yourself to wait 30 minutes before using or buying nicotine, and then wait.
Remember one day at a time. Promise yourself you will get through today. Then go on KTC and post a promise to get through today. Post and ghost, if you have to. Just make that promise.
Do something that relaxes you (assuming this is not alcohol or drugs).
If you don't do something like mentioned above, and get yourself turned around during the mental relapse, you will find yourself in the car on the way to get nicotine. At this point, you will cave.
So, how does this change my advice on answering the three questions? The answers to the three questions lie much earlier in the caving process than I originally suspected. "What happened?" should describe the mental relapse. "Why did it happen?" should examine how the caver moved from emotional relapse into mental relapse. What will change? What will the caver change to recognize when he/she is in emotional relapse and GTFO? Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
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The Symptoms of Post Acute Withdrawal (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm)
Why am I doing this? Why am I posting shit on a random thread buried so deep in a random website that nobody other than myself will find it, much less read it? I used to think I was helping other people like me. Fock that. There are no other people like me, and everything I post on this thread is old news. This website is about 11 years old, and there have been 12 groups go through this process in each of the 11 years, so this path has been traveled at least 132 times. I don't have anything new to add.
I guess, like my good friend Kubiackalpha stated earlier today, "Writing is therapeutic." So I'm finished writing for a moment. Let me just post some juicy "old news" from the site I linked above.
The most common post-acute withdrawal symptoms are:
- Mood swings
- Anxiety
- Irritability
- Tiredness
- Variable energy
- Low enthusiasm
- Variable concentration
- Disturbed sleep
Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recover further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.
Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. Once you've been in recovery for a while, you will find that each post-acute withdrawal episode usually lasts for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.
Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for the challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse. (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org)
Wait, wat??? TWO FOCKING YEARS?!?!?
I don't have two years. I can only do this for today. I can only do this for myself. Bless you Kubiackalpha, I'm depressed too.
Again, old hat, old news to most of you. I would spare you, and put it somewhere else, but you don't have to read it.
I remember when I was a kid, the first time I realized that the sun didn't actually land on that field way over there. Great focking discovery for me!! Everyone else around me already knew this. This is how I feel on this site.
Hopefully, I'll look back at this post TWO FOCKING YEARS from now and think "My God, why did I post that shite?"
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How to Survive Post-Acute Withdrawal
I feel much better than I did yesterday. I'm still in the funk, but coming out. More from the linked page of yesterday, with my comments interspersed.
Be patient. You can't hurry recovery. But you can get through it one day at a time. If you resent post-acute withdrawal, or try to bulldoze your way through it, you will become exhausted. And when you're exhausted you will think of using to escape. One day at a time. We see this a lot.
Post-acute withdrawal symptoms are a sign that your brain is recovering. Therefore don't resent them. But remember, even after one year, you are still only half way there. (Two focking years. 'facepalm'' )
Go with the flow. Withdrawal symptoms are uncomfortable. But the more you resent them the worse they'll seem. You'll have lots of good days over the next two years. Enjoy them. You'll also have lots of bad days. On those days, don't try to do too much. Take care of yourself, focus on your recovery, and you'll get through this.
Practice self-care. Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.
Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery. This is key. We used nicotine to help us push ourselves. Now we have to learn not to push - and let it happen.
Post-acute withdrawal can be a trigger for relapse. You'll go for weeks without any withdrawal symptoms, and then one day you'll wake up and your withdrawal will hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll have slept badly. You'll be in a bad mood. Your energy will be low. And if you're not prepared for it, if you think that post-acute withdrawal only lasts for a few months, or if you think that you'll be different and it won't be as bad for you, then you'll get caught off guard. But if you know what to expect you can do this.
Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse.
Remember, every relapse, no matter how small undoes the gains your brain has made during recovery. Without abstinence everything will fall apart. With abstinence everything is possible. (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org)
I hear a lot of cavers say they reached a "fuck it" point when they caved. I always wondered what "fuck it" is and how someone would find themselves there. Maybe this is it. PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms). Be on guard for this shite. It can be powerful, and the nic bitch follows in on its heels, waiting for you to get to "fuck it".
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The Law of Addiction
Day 55. I'm not sure why I started adding titles to my intro posts, maybe so I can find them easier. This one comes about after a discussion with kbdavear about how many times a person should be allowed to post day #1 on this site. I'm not going to go into that discussion here. You can find it in July 2016's quit group thread on April 29, 2016.
The discussion led to research. The research led to the law of addiction. (http://ffn.yuku.com/topic/116#.VxfBU3ErLRZ)
The Law is rather simple. It states, “Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."
Mastering it requires acceptance of three fundamental principles:
- That dependency upon using nicotine is true chemical addiction, captivating the same brain dopamine reward pathways as alcoholism, cocaine or heroin addiction;
- That once established we cannot cure or kill an addiction but only arrest it; and
- That once arrested, regardless of how long we have remained nicotine free, that just one hit of nicotine will create a high degree of probability of a full relapse.
Once you have mastered the law of addiction, there is absolutely no legitimate excuse to put nicotine into your body in any form. As a nicotine addict, you have permanently altered the way your brain functions. This cannot be undone. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.
There is a smoking cessation website named whyquit.com. They have zero tolerance for nicotine. You get one try per lifetime on this site. You have posting privileges as long as you remain nicotine free. If you ingest nicotine, your posting privileges are permanently revoked.
I've given this topic a lot of thought over the past two days. For now, I'm going to leave my comments brief. There is a lot to absorb in this post.
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The Road Called Recovery
Day 65. If I didn't know any better, I would say I'm "cured". However, I do know better. I am through withdrawal, and moving down the road they call recovery. The trick now is to stay on this road and not get sidetracked into relapse.
So, I've mastered the Law of Addiction. My addiction is arrested. I'm through the withdrawal, the suck. I'm on the road of recovery. Now what? How do I stay on this road?
The first rule to recovery is: You don't recover from an addiction by stopping using. You recover by creating a new life where it is easier to not use.
If you don't create a new life, the Nic bitch will lure you back into using her.
There are tools to help us create a new life. You can find them at www.addictionsandrecovery.org (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/recovery-skills.htm). I want to discuss them briefly here because they are important.
The three tools are:
- Avoid high risk situations
- Learn to relax
- Be honest
Some common high risk situations are described by the acronym HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). You can't always avoid these situations, but learn to recognize them and be on guard for the Nic bitch, because she's watching and waiting.
We used nicotine to relax. We need to find something to replace that. Drugs and alcohol are not your best choice, as these are addictive substances as well. Meditation is a good tool for relaxation. KTC has a good thread on meditation: Meditation Group (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1009607/1/?x=90). It has a good beginning, morphs into a roll post, and then has some more tips and tricks at the end. I also tie flies to relax. My mother played the piano to relax. (I used to think she just liked to play. Now I realize she would do it when she was upset.)
The following is a direct quote from linked web page. I can't think of a good way to summarize it, and there are a lot of important points about being honest.
An addiction requires lying. You have to lie about getting your drug, using it, hiding its consequences, and planning your next relapse. An addiction is full of lying. By the time you've developed an addiction, lying comes easily to you. After a while you get so good at lying that you end up lying to yourself. That's why addicts don't know who they are or what they believe in.
The other problem with lying is that you can't like yourself when you lie. You can't look yourself in the mirror. Lying traps you in your addiction. The more you lie, the less you like yourself, which makes you want to escape, which leads to more using and more lying.
Nothing changes, if nothing changes. Ask yourself this: will more lying, more isolating, and more of the same make you feel better? The expression in AA is - nothing changes if nothing changes. If you don't change your life, then why would this time be any different? You need to create a new life where it's easier to not use.
Recovery requires complete honesty. You must be one-hundred percent completely honest with the people who are your supports: your family, your doctor, your therapist, the people in your 12 step group, and your sponsor. If you can't be completely honest with them, you won't do well in recovery.
When you're completely honest you don't give your addiction room to hide. When you lie you leave the door open to relapse.
One mistake people make in the early stages of recovery is they think that honesty means being honest about other people. They think they should share what's "wrong" with other people. But recovery isn't about fixing other people. It's about fixing yourself. Stick with your own recovery. Focusing on what you don't like about others is easy because it deflects attention from yourself.
Honesty won't come naturally in the beginning. You've spent so much time learning how to lie that telling the truth, no matter how good it is for you, won't feel natural. You'll have to practice telling the truth a few hundred times before it comes a little easier. In the beginning, you'll have to stop yourself as you're telling a story, and say, "now that I think about it, it was more like this..."
Show common sense. Not everybody is your best friend. And not everybody will be glad to know that you have an addiction or that you're doing something about it. There may be some people who you don't want to tell about your recovery. But don't be reluctant to tell the people close to you about your recovery. You should never feel ashamed that you're doing something about your addiction.
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100 Days In - Now What?
This is a rendition of my HOF speech, which will fade into history. My intro, however, can be bumped to the top of the list at any time.
After 100 days, we are supposed to have the tools it takes to remain quit. What are these tools? They are different for every quitter. Basically, the habits you've picked up over the past 100 days to help you remain quit are your tools to remain quit. These are mine:
Tool #1: The Promise
For the past 100 days, the first thing I do after getting dressed is post my promise, to myself and to the world of KTC, that I will remain quit today. This is huge, and probably enough to help maintain my quit.
Tool #2: The Accountability and Brotherhood
Should I happen to miss roll, to miss my promise, I expect quite a few people to text me to see if I'm okay. Even Mrs. Irish will occasionally ask me if I've posted roll today. People other than me expect me to do this every day. I have to live up to it.
Tool #3: New Quitters
You never want to get too far removed from the suck, the fog, and the funk. You don't ever want to experience these things first hand again. The Law of Addiction maintains that you will experience them if you cave. By supporting and keeping up with new quitters, you can have a constant reminder of how bad the first 100 days are, and continual reinforcement of your decision to remain quit.
Tool #4: KTC Wildcard
Sometimes we just need some type of diversion to get through the next few minutes. I gravitate toward "One Word Post" and "This or That", but there are dozens of threads in this section to occupy your mind.
Of course, there are hundreds of other tools available at KTC to use to remain quit, but these are the four that I will continue to use, the tools that have become my habits. We are creatures of habit. In order to remain quit, we must develop daily habits that make it easier not to use nicotine. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.
I want to thank everyone that I've encountered on this site. Every encounter has been special, and I don't want to diminish one by naming another, and it will take more than the next 100 days to list and describe them all. That being said, let's quit on!
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Living with PAWs - day 128
Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep
Mrs. Irish and I started off on our daily walk with the dogs this morning. I had set two sprinklers out in the yard last evening, and ran them for a couple of hours because our grass is getting dry. The sod is less than a year old, and we are concerned that it may die if it gets too dry.
Mrs. Irish asked if the sprinklers had covered the entire yard, and I blew up. Our morning routine consists of a series of rituals that result in me leaving for work between 7:05 and 7:10. There is no room to add any tasks. Now I'm faced with repositioning the sprinklers and turning them on. I respond in an angry manner and, Mrs. Irish being who she is, took me to task.
She pointed out several occasions over the past couple of weeks where I have reacted in anger to normal life events. I hit my head on a lamp frame and let loose a long string of f-bombs, far too many than the event warranted, for example. Some of the things she told me about, I don't recall. I began to think maybe I'm losing my mind. I thought about NewTexican, and his enrollment in anger management classes.
Is this all due to quitting nicotine? Should I go back to nicotine to return to a normal life? (See how sneaky the nic bitch can be? I even had a dip dream last night.) I was totally freaked out. Then I remembered PAWs. Hell, it's in my signature. I click the link and there are the symptoms, plain as day. Anxious, irritable, tired, low enthusiasm, variable concentration, yes, that's how I feel. Damn. So, what do I do about it?
I click on the link that leads me to the PAWs web page. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm). Here, I find the beginning of my answer. I say beginning because these are general guidelines, and I have to figure out how to apply them to me, here and now. This is what I find:
"Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.
Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery."
And:
"Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse."
What I am doing is enough. Don't over-book myself. Learn to relax.
That's my plan.
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Getting to - "Not thinking about it anymore" - day 134ish
I've read several posts, on several quit groups, where people say they've stopped posting roll because they only think about nic when they post roll. They don't want to think about nicotine anymore.
I think about nicotine every time I visit this site. In fact, I visit this site because I want to think about nicotine. I am an obsessive personality, and I'm currently obsessed with nicotine. That's why I've researched it so much, and shared most of this research in my intro thread. They say that PAWs lasts for two years. They say that, after five years, relapse is rare. After 38 years of tobacco use, 5 years is a small period of time.
There you go. I want to keep that bitch in front of me, where I can see it until my chance of relapse is rare. I've had too many times in the past 100 days that, if I didn't start the day by finding that bitch and keeping her in front of me, she would've snuck up behind me and crawled up my ass.
Not thinking about nicotine is for people who've never used nicotine. We threw that option away with the first dip or drag on a cigarette. We are addicts, and cannot become un-addicted.
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No Excuse To Cave - NONE!
I don't know Todd, other than what I've read in his intro. His story is inspiring. His story made me cry.
If I ever feel life has given me an excuse to cave, I'm going to come here and read this, again.
Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper... This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it's not over. This isn't written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.
Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together... I was a bad ass I didn't need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.
Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock...followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm...not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa...Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterday…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic... All that shit goes through your head...I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.
Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn't going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support....THANK YOU.
So if any of you still have friends dippin tell them this if you dont have what it takes to quit nicotine you are gonna be TOO big of a pussy for chemo. Dying is easy its the living that is hard got to dig deep everyday and there would be no way in hell I could do this on my own. If it werent for the support of my wife and family, the support i get daily from the members this site and the people I have in my corner locally. I would have been consumed by this cancer shit. I have already lived through two you only have 6 months left.
Well it appears that it has been awhile since I have put in an update. I had double pneumonia that landed me in the hospital for a week...then home health for a week giving me very strong antibiotics. After a week of that the nausea and pain were enough I woke up on a Monday morning and fired everyone. I called the VA and asked to be put on hospice. Hospice has been working with me to get me under control as far as pain and nausea go. I have been puking and dry heaving for days so finally last night they hooked me up to a morphine drip and a Tordol drip subQ. they have also discovered that I have chemo induced thrush from my mouth to my stomach so another obstacle to overcome.
I also carry a BRAF mutation with in the cancer war is like trying fight fires with gasoline. So I am on the hospice pony and just trying to ride whatever time I have left in relative comfort. So just trying to take it easy.
Once again just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has been on this ride with me, I also wanted to say if you text or email and I dont respond right away please dont take it personal there are days that just making it to tomorrow is the best I can do.
thanks
Trauma
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Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic Bitch’s sister) - day 408
If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here. (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9845729&t=1004418)
I don’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, I’d say I’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMe’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, I’d say I’ve had about 27.
So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.
Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just don’t spit, the enslavement. Then it’s gone. I’m out of that cage. I’m not going back.
Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.
IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what I’m going through. These people are anxious. I’m depressed. They don’t know. They don’t care.
Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?
I get more of that than you know Irish.
I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.
Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.
I think you help more people here than you know. I too understand the IDGAF thoughts. We can't stop being who we are. Sure you are going to get resistance from some but if you help one person quit isn't it worth it? I always enjoy reading your posts. You have good insights and a lot of it hits close to home. Proud to quit with you EDD!
You certainly have helped me. And even if you didn't, I'd just like having you around anyway. 'Cheers'
IQWYT.
Quite a few of us had similar discussion between the one and two year marks. I kinda remeber what you are describing. It was definately not a fun time. Quite different from the early stages but no less difficult, just on a different level I suppose. I can tell you this. It did pass. I havnt had any real issued after the two year mark or there about.
I'm still here. 9 years in. And I don't get that depressed, what's next and this place drags me down feeling any longer. Hell, I don't really make the connections between this place and dipping any longer if that makes sense. It just doesn't faze me.
Hope that helps.
Thanks Ready. I'm not going anywhere. My dear lost friend Kubiackalpha once told me "writing is therapeutic", so what better place to post my trials and successes than here? We all have issues beyond (an possibly masked by) our addictions. I've found that I get depressed a lot.
Unfortunately for you guys, I tend to post my trials more than my successes. I should work on that.
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The Value of Documenting Your Journey
I really was on a search for more on the topic of the law of addiction, in ""Freedom from Nicotine" (http://whyquit.com/ffn/index.html) when I found this:
While "one day at a time" is an excellent victory yardstick, imagine the value of being able to look back and see what each day was like. Consider jotting down a few calendar notes or diary entries about what early recovery was like and the challenges overcome. Although not necessary to success, doing so could prove valuable later.
Why would anyone want to vividly recall the first few days of recovery, days which could reflect a blend of frustrations, anxieties, crave episodes, anger, bargaining and sadness? The same reason we need to remember, in as much detail as possible, daily life as an actively feeding nicotine addict.
We've all heard that "those who forget the past are destined to repeat it." It's hard to imagine a situation where it rings truer than with drug recovery and relapse. Humans tend to repress and inhibit negative emotional memories, and emotional experiences in general.146 Instead, we remember and replay the good, while forgetting the bad.
Imagine if it were otherwise. A vivid picture of all the pain, anxiety and hurt of all our yesterdays would be a heavy burden to bear. While your mind may quickly suppress memories of the challenges overcome, ink on paper or words typed into a computer are durable. The best way to protect against complacency isn't by forgetting what bondage or recovery was like, but by accurately recalling them.
It's wise to make a record of both the reasons you want to break free and what the first couple of weeks were like. Consider sending yourself an e-mail before bed. And here's an example of why.
Imagine hitting what feels like a recovery plateau, where you no longer sense improvement. Imagine feeling stuck and wondering if it's going to remain this way for good, as if a rose bud had stopped opening.
Now imagine being able to look back and read your own progress notes. Like having a medical chart during a hospital stay, your record can provide accurate perspective of how far you've come. It can help calm concerns that recovery has stalled. Although at times nearly impossible to see, I
assure you, recovery's rose bud continues to slowly unfold.
Consider a present gift of future memory. Consider it free relapse insurance. A few memory jogging notes when starting out could become invaluable during challenge, lulls or once complacency arrives.
I did this, for my first two years. I still go back to it when I feel the need. It's like a soft leather chair. I find comfort there. If you are in the early stages of recovery, I urge you to do this. If you are in later stages, find someone who is in their early stages, help them through it, and document that process.
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Whelp, looks like that's mostly formatted the way I want it. I may make changes after opening it on my phone, but I'm happy with the way it looks on my laptop.
I keep coming back to it and tinkering. It's like an old friend. I've read these posts in Irish's intro so many times on my journey. I remember so much of it. Until I don't...
That's why it's here. At 419 days I still struggle - mostly around milestones. My last funk was right around 400. I went to read through this stuff and found it to be a giant pain in the ass on Tapa, so I copied some of the highlights here to make it easier for me to get to. Then I didn't like the format because it didn't translate well from Tapa... Now I realized a lot of the links are broken. Baby steps.
I hope no one takes this as a sign of disrespect toward Irish. Crap, if anything it's a compliment of the highest order!
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Posted this in Mar '19 today... Then decided I might have put enough coherent words together that I should post it here too...
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Holy Shit...
I'm just not even going to deal with the cavers right now. There are enough people working through that... This is for all of the quitters in March that actually came here to quit...
1) Wake up
2) Piss
3) Post your promise on roll
4) Keep your fucking word
5) Repeat daily
Quitting with KTC is as easy as that. Are there bumps and bruises and rough spots along the way? Of course! Shit, I poisoned myself for almost 32 years. I'm 432 days quit. I dipped for around 11,680 days. These fuckers that think they're cured at 4 or 30 or 100 or 200 or 500 or 1000 days? I don't think so. There's no "cure" for nicotine addiction. You are an addict for the rest of your life. Period.
So, given that there isn't a "cure" how the hell do we manage this recovery? Use the tools available to us.
Brotherhood + Accountability = Success
I know you've seen this. I'm pretty sure I've posted it here before. That's not my equation (I didn't write it, obviously), but it's how I live my life now.
Accountability - I posted roll with my home group
Accountability - I posted roll with Mar '18 (the group I conducted)
Accountability - I posted roll with all of the other groups that I support
Accountability - I texted my promise to at least 15-20 people
Brotherhood - I spent a few minutes catching up with the folks I've made my friends (still have a few to reach out to)
Brotherhood - I met with Skol, Gottadoit, and DesertDweller to celebrate Desert's HOF day yesterday. We shared laughs and hugs and beers and food
Brotherhood - I spent a few minutes texting with a couple of good friends (KTC) that are struggling personally and will continue through the day
Success - I am quit for today, and today only
I could keep listing examples, but I think you get the point. These serial cavers? They don't get that. THAT IS WHY THEY FAIL.
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461
Not a particularly sexy number by any stretch of the imagination. It's not an even number of days or weeks or months or anything particularly significant. It's not any kind of anniversary. It's not a floor. I'm proud AF of that number today though. I'm proud AF of what I've been through without fucking that number up. Especially lately...
I'll P&G. I'll get crazy active. I'll find a happy medium between the two. I'll post in two groups. I'll post in close to 50 (no joke; all 2016-2019 groups because I feel like I owe portions of my quit to folks scattered all through there, plus all January groups 2010 up, plus Oct '11, plus the 100% thread). Never, ever, have I missed posting roll in my home group or Mar '18 (the group I conducted). No matter how life gets I post in those two.
We all face adversity in our lives: death, divorce, family drama, job related struggles, sickness - These kinds of things are difficult for the strongest of us to get through. These are the kinds of things that cause addicts to relapse because for the most part we have never faced anything like them without that crutch. At 461 days it's not the day-to-day triggers any more; There are still a few here and there, don't get me wrong, but they're fewer and farther between now. These major ones though? They can strike at any time without warning. As an addict, I know that I will ALWAYS have to be prepared to face them and use my tools that I have acquired along the way.
I have primarily been P&G for the last week (or a little more). There are a fair number of you that know why, and I don't particularly care to explain it beyond saying that I've been dealing with some pretty freaking serious family shit. Caving was never an option. I used my tools.
461
Yeah, I'm pretty fucking proud of that number today...
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I have primarily been P&G for the last week (or a little more). There are a fair number of you that know why, and I don't particularly care to explain it beyond saying that I've been dealing with some pretty freaking serious family shit. Caving was never an option. I used my tools.
461
Yeah, I'm pretty fucking proud of that number today...
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through some tough shit. Hope things get better for you Steve. You’ve helped me more with my quit then you’ll ever know.
For anyone else reading this, the thing you need to remember is that tomorrow it could be YOU having a bad day/week/month.
1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems.
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480 -
It's more than just an area code local to me here in the Phoenix area, it's my quit number today... Still too much crap going on in life. I added a bunch of crap at work and have been overloaded there as well as being sick AF on top of the family bullshit. Blah, blah, blah - life sucks and blah, blah, blah...
I'm actually not here to complain... It kind of dawned on me this morning that I have turned a corner without realizing it. I may not be all the way around that bend, but I realized this morning that the view has changed a bit and I hadn't really noticed...
I cannot remember my last serious crave.
Ordinarily that might send the anxious me into a bit of a panic. After all, one of my greatest fears is that I will forget that I'm an addict and cave. I have before - pre-KTC. After about a year and a half of being quit on my own that time I reached for a can without even thinking about it, all because my life went to shit (or at least that's what I thought at the time). Is it bad that I can't remember when I craved last? I'm sure it was the "tire incident". Or was it? Crap, that's kind of my point. I'm not sure. I don't even know. Should that scare me? No, I don't think it should.
THIS IS WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE!
I've been dealing with a lot of stuff recently. Being sick just blows, and we've been trading it back and forth for a little while. At work I got access to something I normally don't, and had an opportunity to gather a literal shit ton of data that will make my life easier going forward - if it doesn't kill me to get it all extracted. Things with that part of my family haven't improved significantly, and parts of it have actually deteriorated further (although some other parts have improved). It's a long story, and frankly one that I've already overshared with some people I'm sure so I'll spare the details. All of these things, particularly taken in context with some others I'm not here to share right now, would have send me slinking back to that can of poison.
Yet, not so much as a hint of a crave... WTF?
I'm winning. That's why. Please don't misundertand - I'm not under the mistaken impression that I'll never have another crave. I'm just at a point in my quit that using my tools is second nature. The evolution of those tools is a natural progression now. It doesn't always need to be forced or consciously decided. It just happens. When I started struggling with my family issues, I reached out (perhaps a bit too much, but I think it's better to err on the side of caution). I've had to back off of posting a LOT due to my work constraints, but I've still posted roll in my home group and with the group I conducted - I'm still at 100%. Through it all I understand that life happens. Good and bad. Now I know for a fact that things will get better with or without dip. Things will go to shit with or without dip. Life is going to happen - with or without dip.
I make a conscious decision daily to live my life without that poison. I will continue to post that promise to remain nic free. Life is going to happen anyway. What I've learned is that life is actually better without that leash. Even when it sucks.
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501
Holy shit. Half a fucking comma. A half dangle. 5 fucking hundred. I've spent the last 16 or 17 months in awe of and congratulating people that have made it to this point in their quit. It's truly one hell of an accomplishment!
Except that I know it really isn't for me. See, I made it about a year and a half on my own once. That was "pre-KTC". My personal high water mark in my mind is roughly 548 days. While I know in my heart and soul that this quit is different, there's that nagging part in the back of my mind that keeps saying "You've made it farther and caved. You haven't proven SHIT yet". And that voice is right. I'm not in uncharted territory for me for another 48 days or so. I made it farther than this and did the unthinkable. I know I'm not cured now.
What I DO know is that this quit IS different. When I made it this far before I was on my own. I had forgotten by now what it was like to stuff that shit in my face. I had forgotten virtually everything, at least consciously, about what that poison did to my body. I never even had a second thought that I can remember when I stopped and picked up that first can again. All I knew is that my life at the time was going to shit, and stuffing that crap back into my face was going to be what helped me get through it. At that point in my life I didn't really understand that I was an addict. I didn't recognize the lie for what it was when it happened. I hadn't burned my boats. I hadn't torched those bridges. I didn't have a support system. I had stopped because I wanted to, but there wasn't anything preventing me from starting back up except for me not wanting to dip. Until I did want to.
KTC has given me the tools that I need to be free from those horrible chains of addiction. It has given me some of my closest friends. It has brought me together with my January FURY brothers and sisters (to conquer this together), as well as folks from older groups (so I know what's coming) and newer groups (to remind me where I've been). The people I text with, talk to, and have and will meet are not just random internet strangers. They are my family. They are the people that know me better than most others. They give me strength and inspire me to continue this journey.
Thank you. All of you. I can honestly say that I would not have made it this far without you, and I am proud as FUCK to be quit with you each and every day!
Day 549 won't be a day of celebration for me. It's just another day of quit. Except that it's not...
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501
Holy shit. Half a fucking comma. A half dangle. 5 fucking hundred. I've spent the last 16 or 17 months in awe of and congratulating people that have made it to this point in their quit. It's truly one hell of an accomplishment!
Except that I know it really isn't for me. See, I made it about a year and a half on my own once. That was "pre-KTC". My personal high water mark in my mind is roughly 548 days. While I know in my heart and soul that this quit is different, there's that nagging part in the back of my mind that keeps saying "You've made it farther and caved. You haven't proven SHIT yet". And that voice is right. I'm not in uncharted territory for me for another 48 days or so. I made it farther than this and did the unthinkable. I know I'm not cured now.
What I DO know is that this quit IS different. When I made it this far before I was on my own. I had forgotten by now what it was like to stuff that shit in my face. I had forgotten virtually everything, at least consciously, about what that poison did to my body. I never even had a second thought that I can remember when I stopped and picked up that first can again. All I knew is that my life at the time was going to shit, and stuffing that crap back into my face was going to be what helped me get through it. At that point in my life I didn't really understand that I was an addict. I didn't recognize the lie for what it was when it happened. I hadn't burned my boats. I hadn't torched those bridges. I didn't have a support system. I had stopped because I wanted to, but there wasn't anything preventing me from starting back up except for me not wanting to dip. Until I did want to.
KTC has given me the tools that I need to be free from those horrible chains of addiction. It has given me some of my closest friends. It has brought me together with my January FURY brothers and sisters (to conquer this together), as well as folks from older groups (so I know what's coming) and newer groups (to remind me where I've been). The people I text with, talk to, and have and will meet are not just random internet strangers. They are my family. They are the people that know me better than most others. They give me strength and inspire me to continue this journey.
Thank you. All of you. I can honestly say that I would not have made it this far without you, and I am proud as FUCK to be quit with you each and every day!
Day 549 won't be a day of celebration for me. It's just another day of quit. Except that it's not...
Keep killing it brother!
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501
Holy shit. Half a fucking comma. A half dangle. 5 fucking hundred. I've spent the last 16 or 17 months in awe of and congratulating people that have made it to this point in their quit. It's truly one hell of an accomplishment!
Except that I know it really isn't for me. See, I made it about a year and a half on my own once. That was "pre-KTC". My personal high water mark in my mind is roughly 548 days. While I know in my heart and soul that this quit is different, there's that nagging part in the back of my mind that keeps saying "You've made it farther and caved. You haven't proven SHIT yet". And that voice is right. I'm not in uncharted territory for me for another 48 days or so. I made it farther than this and did the unthinkable. I know I'm not cured now.
What I DO know is that this quit IS different. When I made it this far before I was on my own. I had forgotten by now what it was like to stuff that shit in my face. I had forgotten virtually everything, at least consciously, about what that poison did to my body. I never even had a second thought that I can remember when I stopped and picked up that first can again. All I knew is that my life at the time was going to shit, and stuffing that crap back into my face was going to be what helped me get through it. At that point in my life I didn't really understand that I was an addict. I didn't recognize the lie for what it was when it happened. I hadn't burned my boats. I hadn't torched those bridges. I didn't have a support system. I had stopped because I wanted to, but there wasn't anything preventing me from starting back up except for me not wanting to dip. Until I did want to.
KTC has given me the tools that I need to be free from those horrible chains of addiction. It has given me some of my closest friends. It has brought me together with my January FURY brothers and sisters (to conquer this together), as well as folks from older groups (so I know what's coming) and newer groups (to remind me where I've been). The people I text with, talk to, and have and will meet are not just random internet strangers. They are my family. They are the people that know me better than most others. They give me strength and inspire me to continue this journey.
Thank you. All of you. I can honestly say that I would not have made it this far without you, and I am proud as FUCK to be quit with you each and every day!
Day 549 won't be a day of celebration for me. It's just another day of quit. Except that it's not...
Keep killing it brother!
Sorry I missed your 500 on here, but really doesn't matter. ODAAT adds up, fuck the milestones, you're quit and I'm so glad to be quit with you bro! Thanks for all you do around here to build yourself and others!
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I'm Steve, and my last dip was Friday 9/29/17. I have been nicotine free since.
I have been dipping for far longer than I care to admit (30 out of the last 31 years). I quit for over a year 8 years ago, but caved. If I had known about this site and had these kinds of resources I think I would have been able to get the help I needed then to stay quit. I'm glad that I've found it now and will be on here daily checking in, encouraging others, and looking for help when I need it. I have been trying to read and research through the fog and the moods and the lack of focus over the past couple days and have already found incredible stories and have seen how supportive everyone is of each other. It's amazing how dead accurate the list of symptoms is for me so far, and I appreciate that as a resource to know what to expect in the future.
I joined my quit group and added my name to roll call. Thank you to everyone that has encouraged me so far!!!
Today has been my best day so far, but I can feel the "fog" rolling in. Hopefully it didn't cause me to ramble too much!
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I'm Steve, and my last dip was Friday 9/29/17. I have been nicotine free since.
I have been dipping for far longer than I care to admit (30 out of the last 31 years). I quit for over a year 8 years ago, but caved. If I had known about this site and had these kinds of resources I think I would have been able to get the help I needed then to stay quit. I'm glad that I've found it now and will be on here daily checking in, encouraging others, and looking for help when I need it. I have been trying to read and research through the fog and the moods and the lack of focus over the past couple days and have already found incredible stories and have seen how supportive everyone is of each other. It's amazing how dead accurate the list of symptoms is for me so far, and I appreciate that as a resource to know what to expect in the future.
I joined my quit group and added my name to roll call. Thank you to everyone that has encouraged me so far!!!
Today has been my best day so far, but I can feel the "fog" rolling in. Hopefully it didn't cause me to ramble too much!
Welcome Steve and congrats on making the best decision of your life. A couple of things yer' gonna' need ta' know.. Exchanging digits is part of the accountability part of this site. Don't be scared, your fellow quitter nor anyone else want to stalk you. We're quite sure you've got skid marks and a drawer in your house that we don't want to know about. What we do want is you commitment to quit every day by posting your day quit number and your promise not to use nicotine. The phone numbers of fellow quitters in your month (as well as some other vets) are your lifeline to quit. More than once have I called a fellow quitter in my early month when I thought I couldn't take it. They talked me down and got me through the suck. I too dipped for just over 30 years with one year in between. If this sorry bastard can do it, so can you. Digits are in you inbox (located in the upper right hand of your screen)
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Welcome.
The formula is simple - Post your promise. Keep your promise. Repeat daily. The freedom is worth the price.
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A few people have pointed out that I'd been "counting" wrong and shorting myself a day because I wasn't counting the first day I actually quit. I'm sure most people outside KTC don't give a rats ass, but to this 30+ year addict day 7 sounds a hell of a lot better than day 6 for some reason so I'm gonna take it!
Thank you to all that have reached out so far. I want to apologize for what I'm sure have been some incoherent rambling replies. I'm happy to exchange digits with anyone, and especially encourage those in my Jan18 Quit Group to hit me up if I miss you over the next few days. I'm doing my best to figure out the ins and outs of the site (while pretending to work), but have been having a tough time focusing on anything for too long as I know you've all been through (or are going through).
I'm going to document my journey through this intro feed at least every few days (probably more often in the beginning). I think being able to go back and look at what I've been through so far will help me when I have rough days down the road.
I'm going to post my roll call daily. No excuses. One thing that has been mentioned to me repeatedly is accountability, and I already see the benefits of that. Quit one habit, start a new one (roll call). That seems like a fair trade.
I'm going to send my digits to everyone in my quit group. More accountability. Quit as a group. Support each other. Talk each other down when necessary.
I'm going to keep reading as much as I can on here; Your stories and your journey. It helps so much to read something and realize the crap I'm dealing with is normal for the day range of my quit and that I'm not alone and that it is possible to beat this daily.
I'm open to any other suggestions or ideas or resources!!!
My Day 6 yesterday started out great! Mornings have been tough for me; that first dip always came almost as soon as I opened my eyes. Oddly enough, this has been the easiest one to avoid so far. As long as I don't buy a can of shit the day before, I don't have a can in the morning to be tempted by. Yesterday (and today) have been the first two days it really hasn't bothered me in the morning. I was more social at work yesterday. Pretty much everyone knows I've quit and they've been incredibly supportive. I'm able to keep to myself at work when I need to and that's really helped because I can just walk away and compose myself when the tension gets to be too much. For the most part yesterday was a good day until I went grocery shopping with my S/O, and then panic set in. Stupid things that set me off. Too many people. Not knowing what was on our list so I didn't know where to go. We started on the wrong side and didn't do the store in the right order. We went down aisles, moved on, and realized we needed other things down that aisle and had to go back. Stupid. Meaningless. Shit. Fortunately she was incredibly patient with me and helped ease me through it. By the time we got home I could feel the stress leaving my body and the rest of the night was fairly uneventful. I don't remember the fog from my first quit (well, I guess that was a one year "stop" and not a quit), but it's a bigger part of this quit so far than almost anything else. I can't focus. I'm easily distracted. I find myself staring off into space and wonder how long I've been doing that. Walking helps a lot. I'm normally desk bound, so I've tried to make myself get up and walk around to help clear my head a little.
Today is day 7. I am quit today, so tomorrow I can add a day to that number. Right now my first goal is 10. Baby steps.
Thank you all for your support and encouragement!!!
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SRAINS if you do every single thing you just laid out in that post then you will be successful! Post Roll EDD, Post Roll EDD, Post Roll EDD! I cannot stress this enough. Digits sent
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Today is Day 8 - I have posted roll and promise to remain nic free today. It's funny how simple yet incredibly powerful that is to do.
Day 7 was much, much easier in terms of the cravings and the mood swings. The hardest part was staying focused and staying awake at work because I haven't been sleeping as well as I normally do. I did sleep better last night, so I'm hopeful that I'll be a little more alert today. I did find myself standing at a counter looking at the dip rack last night (we were in the store for something completely unrelated to that, but they always seem to have the dip right there behind the register). I excused myself and left my S/O to purchase what she needed and walked outside. I wasn't tempted to buy, but didn't want to stand there and tempt fate either. I think if it had been a couple of days ago I'd be here trying to explain why I was an idiot and starting my count over. Yesterday, no problem.
I found this a while back and thought it was appropriate for here. I'm not sure where it came from originally, so I can't give it proper credit:
An addict fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The addict called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him to buy a ladder, but the addict could not find a ladder in this hole he was in. A doctor walked by. The addict said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him some drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The addict said thanks, but when the pills ran out he was still in the hole. A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the addict's cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get in there? Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the addict talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The addict thanked him, but was still in his hole. A priest came by and heard the addict calling for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said, "I'll pray for you." The priest got down on his knees and prayed for the addict, then left. The addict was very grateful and he read the whole Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole. A recovering addict happened to be passing by. The addict cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering addict jumped in the hole with him. The addict said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here!" But the recovering addict said, "It's okay. I've been here before. I know the way out."
- Anonymous
I'm proud to quit with you all today. Thank you to those that have jumped down into this hole with me!!!
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Day 11 - I made double digits!!! Next goal: two weeks quit.
I probably won't post as much on weekends but I will get on and post roll (I did this past weekend). I live on my laptop for work and try to keep my weekends as "electronics free" as possible. Hopefully I'll get to the point that I'm comfortable posting from my phone and I can go back to leaving my laptop in the bag over the weekend. I'll do what I have to do to post roll EVERY DAMN DAY!!!
It sucked seeing JTack drop out. He got about to where I am now and I haven't seen him back yet for a new "Day 1". It sucked seeing a Day 1 post from the Colonel after him having quit for so long. Both of those were very sobering to me, and neither was particularly surprising. I don't mean that I wasn't surprised because of them personally. I don't know either one. I mean that it's not particularly surprising to see someone drop out within a couple of weeks, or even after a year or more. I've done both in the past. Like probably everyone on KTC I've got more "two week quits" than I can count, and one that I caved after more than a year (probably closer to a year and a half).
So, why should things be different for me this time around? I've shown in the past that I can't do this. Honestly, KTC. That's what's different for me this time. As ridiculous as it may sound to someone thinking about quitting, a simple fucking promise to a bunch of strangers every morning posting roll is enough to make me think twice. FishFlorida and JeffW are getting texts from me first thing every morning with my Day # and that same promise. Accountability. That's the difference for me this time.
Having made it through Day 10, most of the worst physical parts are done. I'm still not sleeping worth a damn, but I expected that. I'm taking naps and going to bed earlier (who knew as kids that we'd appreciate naps and spankings later in life ;) ). It's not ideal but even though I wake up a lot, when you add it all up I'm probably sleeping enough. I had my first ever "dip dream" over the weekend. That was weird. I honestly thought whoever posted that was full of crap because I'd never experienced it before. Well, now I can tell you that it's a real thing. I still have cravings several times a day, some pretty intense, but I've been able to power through them all with sunflower seeds and finding distractions. They pass pretty quickly for the most part, although for some reason I'm freaking useless and really craving between about 5:00p-6:00p daily. If someone gets a text because I need support, it's going to be that time of day. I have no idea why that time is bad for me (I'm normally in a place I wouldn't have been dipping anyway) right now, but it is. For now, I'm just going to make sure I'm not in a place where I even CAN buy crap during that time to minimize the temptation.
I'm proud of the Jan '18 Ball Droppers. This is the worst part. The first few weeks and the first 100 days. We can do this together with help from past quitters. Post roll EDD. Text or call someone BEFORE you buy a can and cave. PM me for my number if you don't have enough support already. I'm happy to talk you down off the cliff and to have you do that for me when I need it.
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Day 14 - I made it two weeks!!! Next goal: three weeks quit.
You know what? That's not true. I'm at 14 and I've posted roll for today. The next goal is day 15. Then day 16. Then day 17...
I already knew in the back of my mind that once I got past the first few days things were going to be up and down for quite a while. This isn't my first quit. It's my first quit with KTC though. Posting roll, texting other quitters daily for support, accountability. These are the things that make this quit different for me.
If I'm honest, day 13 was my toughest so far. Not the physical cravings or the fogginess or any of the actual physical things associated with quitting. Yesterday was the first real "mental" hurdle day for me. Stress at work, crap in my personal life, everything seemed to just come to a head all at once. I heard the whispers of the nicotine bitch in the back of my mind. Any other quit in the past, this is where I would have caved. I didn't. Part of that was my personal commitment to this quit. Part of that was my promise to KTC via roll that I wouldn't use nicotine. Part of that was because I woke up yesterday and texted FishFlorida and JeffW and INKcogKNEEdough and promised THEM PERSONALLY that I wouldn't. Accountability. I kept my word.
Today is Day 14. I will NOT use nicotine today. I have made my promise. I will keep my word. I will make the exact same promise as soon as I get up tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I will WUPPEDD, and I will stay quit one day at a time.
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Yep srains, one day at a time. You are doing great. hopefully you are starting to experience some good days. The roller coaster of emotions is very real. I did that crap for 35 years and it is amazing how much of a pull it can have on you after such a period of time.
Proud to quit with you!!
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Srains,
Congratulations on your quit and your succcess thus far and welcome to the group.
As you know, the main way to be successful is to just decide that you have quit. Once you stop the negotiating in your head as to whether you will do one more or not the rest becomes far more simple.
Next, you will learn to distract your attention from your desire for a dip to anything else that interests you. This ability to change your focus will guarantee your success and make your quit that much easier.
When you place a dip in your mouth, your brain releases sugars. Well, those sugars are now going to be gone.
However, you can replace them with OJ or other fruit juices with sugar. This will provide some comfort, especially in your initial quit days.
Make sure to exercise with weights and cardio when you feel that nagging tension in your muscles, you feel that rage, when you can not sleep and when you can not focus. Exercise really helps.
Here is one that most people overlook. Get at least 3 square meals a day. Hunger can really bring on those urges so squash those urges before they come. Eat full healthy meals and do not let yourself get excessively hungry. You will see this helps a great deal.
I waited until I was 59 quit after using tobacco for 40 years. You are wise to quit now.
I quit with you today.
Dundippin day 760
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Day 18 - Made it through my third nicotine free weekend! The first one I can honestly say I don't really remember. Last weekend was tough simply because of all of the real nicotine free "firsts" that were bigger triggers than I expected. Weeding, mowing, trimming bushes... It seems crazy that these were things that triggered cravings. This weekend was far better, although there were still a few that were really intense. I think I can chalk part of that up to trying to wean myself off of sunflower seeds over the weekend. Big mistake, even though I tried substituting hard candies in their place. Stopped for more seeds on my way to work this morning and ditched the candy for now...
I have felt much better the last few days. I'm not really sure whether or not my sleep patterns are still off because my allergies kicked in and I've started on Benadryl before bed so I can breathe all night... Either way, I've slept well for the last few days.
I know I'm only 18 days in, but I have yet to miss a roll post since my first (I think day 4 or 5). If you've stumbled across this while thinking it's time to quit (or I'm rereading so I can remember what I went through) - Posting roll daily makes all the difference. Don't miss a day. For any reason. Ever. Make that daily promise and then keep it. Thinking about quitting dip forever is incredibly daunting and will send you into a panic attack (at least it does for me). Quitting one day at a time? That's comparatively easy. Just make that promise every fucking day and keep it.
Support from people on KTC has been incredible and I have singled a few people out in previous posts and thanked them. I need to acknowledge two people at home though... My S/O Patty (who I have also thanked before) has been so incredibly supportive of this quit. She has done at LEAST as much research as I have and I can honestly say she's been one step ahead of me so far. The second one is my son. It occurred to me the other day that he has never had a father that wasn't hopped up on nicotine (other than a year or so that I'm sure he doesn't remember). Seeing how happy he is that I've been quit even for this short period of time really feels good.
I have posted roll today and made my promise. Have you?
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Day 21. Three fucking weeks!!! Damn, it feels good to say that.
The cravings aren't as bad as they were. Still there obviously along with a LOT of the normal things people go through at this point. Gotta love all the "What to expect" info on KTC. It makes me feel as "normal" as possible I guess.
Weirdest thing to happen in the last few days was that I reached for a can (that didn't exist) after I finished eating lunch at my desk one day. Bent over and started opening my laptop bag before I realized what I was doing. The crazy thing is that I wasn't even CRAVING, it's just such a habit that I did it instinctively. That's the only time I've reached for a can that wasn't there over the last few weeks, so I guess I'm doing pretty well as far as that goes.
I'm starting to try to be more active in my quit group. I honestly believe that it's going to help make my own personal quit stronger, and I feel like it's time to start helping the newer newbies while all this crap is still fresh in my mind. Not that I'm ever going to forget it... I also appreciate everything the vets on this site have done for me, and I want to give back as much as I can. I see this (KTC) as something that takes up a fair portion of my time going forward, although I AM probably going to have to get some actual work done at some point.
Day 21 (And Counting). I quit with you today!
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This came up in our quit group today and I didn't want to lose it. GREAT info!!!
Nice
Now that we got that all cleared up.
Answer the three questions.
....
The Three Questions (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9654281)
and
Answering the three questions - Reprise (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9785911)
These links might help you understand what we're asking.
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This came up in our quit group today and I didn't want to lose it. GREAT info!!!
Nice
Now that we got that all cleared up.
Answer the three questions.
....
The Three Questions (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9654281)
and
Answering the three questions - Reprise (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9785911)
These links might help you understand what we're asking.
While you're reading those, feel free to read the rest of my intro. Like you, I am documenting my quit with an "Intro-journal".
It's therapeutic and will also help those close to you at KTC.
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Day 23 - I wasn't planning on posting over the weekend, but needed to post this one.
The fog rolled in HARD this morning. Just randomly, and out of the blue. I can't concentrate on anything this morning. Forcing myself to get through the things I need to accomplish today as best I can but it's after 10am and I haven't been able to get out of the house yet. I did WUPP and sent my 10-12 morning day count texts, so that's good... I'm much better at recognizing the bullshit when it happens. Now I just need to get re-wired and figure out how to deal with it better.
Future self (and others that stumble in here): This took me 10-15 fucking minutes to type, and then I realized I have been sitting here staring at the screen for who knows how long... Wow... Just wow...
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'nutkick' January '18 F.U.R.Y. 'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Thursday, September 13, 2018
'waiting' SSOA - WUPPEDD!!! (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xEvh0ZVQUP6v7JCXcQXLFJ_W3R7tKNqisZ-9FFPLFCA/edit#gid=25812764) 'waiting'
A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls |
| Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| Kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
Support from other Bad Ass Quitters:
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Yes, I know I posted roll in my intro.
No, it wasn't an accident...
Not sure where else to post a clean template that the group can use, and this seemed like as good a place as any. If there are suggestions as to what would be better, I'm open to them!
I still need to add a link so whoever is picking up the first post of the day can find it easily...
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Yes, I know I posted roll in my intro.
No, it wasn't an accident...
Not sure where else to post a clean template that the group can use, and this seemed like as good a place as any. If there are suggestions as to what would be better, I'm open to them!
I still need to add a link so whoever is picking up the first post of the day can find it easily...
We put something up under Google Docs. Hit up April 17, we have a link to the fresh roll doc on roll. Anybody can read it (and so copy/paste to create a fresh roll), and a bunch of us have edit permission so we can update it if needed.
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poof
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Day 46 - It just occurred to me that I haven't actually posted much here lately in terms of using this as a "journal". In fact, it's been 23 days (which is odd, because my last journal post was day 23).
The last 23 days have not been completely smooth. I've had some INCREDIBLY bad craves but have fought through them by texting my newfound friends here and by hanging out and posting in our trainwreck of a quit group (Jan '18, and I am proud to quit with every single one of those roll jacking mofos). I've had a couple of foggy days, but nothing anywhere near as bad as it was for my Day 23 post.
I've complained about the mess in January a few times (here as well as in the group), but truth be told it's a bad-ass group to be a part of. I think we're still 45 or so strong (pissed about the two caves last week) and everyone in the group is at or past the three week mark (still early, but I'm pretty happy we're 45 strong through 3 weeks). It's a great mix of personalities and strengths and sometimes that means that things get a little crazy... If you're truly bored, I highly recommend reading through there. Is there a lot of bullshit? Yes. Is there a TON of incredibly good information? You bet! With the crowd we've drawn on a pretty regular basis there are people with a whole lot of quit days that are posting advice, and that's going to be a lot of help going forward.
If you're reading this and haven't made contact with a bunch of people you're doing KTC wrong. I'm texting around 30 people every morning in addition to posting roll, which makes me that much more accountable. I'm online as much as I can be posting in the group. This place is about forming relationships with people so that you CANNOT fail. I have probably 50 contacts overall now. I'll text/call every single one of them before I put that crap in my mouth, and that is going to help me stay quit.
I'm quit, ODAAT.
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Nvm
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Day 69 - It's a little strange that I showed up again 23 days later to post. I really meant to be better than that when I started this intro but life has been moving pretty fast.
I'm still posting roll at 100% and I intend to keep it that way. I'm texting 36 people my promise to quit every morning (including two that aren't even on KTC, but one of THEM is still quit and sends me his number every morning). I had the great pleasure of meeting Montovon a few weeks ago and I'd like to be able to meet more of my quit brothers and sisters.
It's hard to believe tomorrow is 10 weeks. It seems like it's gone by so fast, and also so slowly. I haven't had entire bad days recently but still do have stretches where I'm miserable as FUCK for no apparent reason. Well, I know what the reason is I suppose... It's hard to describe really because it doesn't always involve actual craves. More of just a general "funk". It passes. Overall I have to say that I feel better than I have in YEARS. I do have to admit that I've put on a few pounds with this quit and I'm not happy about that, but it beats not being quit. That's the next part of my life that I'll be working on.
If my recent pattern holds I'll be back here on Day 92 posting my next intro update. Keep on quitting!!!
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I don't want to lose track of this, so I copied it here... I'll try to keep this updated as people add to the story. If I miss anything, please text me and let me know (if you don't have my digits, they're just a PM away)!!!
As per RWBullet's suggestion I've started crediting the author within each section rather than here at the top.
Enjoy! I know I am...
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JANUARY FURY meets the FEBRUARY WINE MIXERS
Written by CNC
After an irritating day in the January house of FURY, the Colonel, Dog and Srains decide to slip away from Josh's incessant rambling.
They decide to visit their brothers over in February for a change... the house that has always been the most quiet neighbor in the entire development. Then again, who could make enough noise next door to drown out the shit storms in January.
Upon arriving, they find the front door left wide open with no heightened security against riots or demonstrations, no sandbags to protect the sentries... nothing of the sort. Hell, the door is still attached by the hinges and fully functional.
So, they just invite themselves in. Once thru the door, they are overwhelmed by a nicely scented house, with very elegant decor.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me", mutters the Colonel.
Q-Dog immediately starts inspecting the nice wooden furniture and hand-made knick-knacks throughout the foyer.
Srains walks confidently into the next room to find a handfull of February's quitters perched throughout the room, again on nicely crafted wood furniture, sipping delicately at their wine and wine spritzers.
"Greetings fellow quitters, and welcome to the Catalina Wine Mixer, glad to see you have finally come over for a visit," Doc excitedly announces as the visitors cautiously take in the scenery.
"Dog, you've got to get in here and check out this shit... and Colonel... well, you might want to close your eyes and ears," suggests Srains.
"Whoa man, these guys got this stuff down... I have to add this to my video collection" responds Q-Dog as he instantly decides to handle each piece of furniture, running his hands along each surface... fully impressed by the craftsmanship. "I don't know Colonel, you might actually want to see this afterall."
Hesitantly, the Colonel rounds the corner still vigilant for boobie-traps or hidden weaponry, "what the fuck is this?"
Just then Lumberguy chimes in, "Hey Colonel grab a drink and take a seat with us, we are just about to watch another Will Ferrell movie... you interested?".
"Uhhhhhh," replies the Colonel, doing his best to take in the situation before him. "You have no bullet holes in your walls? No burn marks on your carpet or furniture? No damn spent shell casings everywhere?"
"Thats right Colonel," says Josh605 as he carefully places his wine glass on the elegant coffee table in front of him so he can unlace his lineman boots. "Pretty nice eh?"
Doc continues with the greetings, "thats right guys... we have a nice quiet house here, and we like it that way. We didn't need all that rough stuff, we are just here in the neighborhood quitting like everyone else. We love it here in KTC Chase... great place to settle in."
The Colonel stands motionless, gritting his teeth... still stunned that no one is shooting at him or chucking grenades back and forth. "Just cry me a fucking river... how is this possible" he whispers under his breath.
Seeing what is happening, Q-Dog grabs the Colonel's arm and starts quiding him towards the front door. "Hey CNC, this might be a bit much for you right now... lets go back to the FURY and have some target practice okay? I'm sure we can find someone you can shoot at. Sound good?"
"Yeah, that sounds good Dog... but did you see this place? Fuck me to tears already, I have never seen anything quite like it" the Colonel admits as he walks out of the February house shaking his head in disbelief, waving goodbye without looking over his shoulder.
Meanwhile, back in the living room, Srains conducts his usual diplomacy with the neighbors, "sorry about that guys... we've seen a lot of action over in January. The Colonel was not intending to be rude... we all love your house. Keep it up, and we will stop by again sometime... we might even drag Probe along next time."
To be continued...
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Part 2: Feb to F.U.R.Y.
Written by DrB
Several days later in the Catalina Wine Mixer house, the gentlemen are still talking excitedly about their recent visitors.
“Did you hear what they said? Bullet holes? Can you even IMAGINE?” Flyboy exclaimed.
“I know what you mean, brother. It sounds terrible - but yet I’m oddly excited by the thought. Perhaps we should pay them a visit?” suggested the Doc.
Just then Will Ferrel realized that Legos were meant to be played with, and the credits started rolling. The Mixers decided to brave the elements and see what really caused all the bangs and thumps from their neighborsÂ’ house.
“Be sure to wear slip-on shoes, guys, so we can take them off easily when we enter their house!” advised Graham.
As they approached they house, bullets began ricocheting off the ground at their feet. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” cried a voice through a bullhorn.
“We’re your neighbors in February. We came to say hi. We brought a bundt cake and some Yellow Tail!”
Just then the ColonelÂ’s head flew out the window of the F.U.R.Y.Â’s house, followed several seconds later by his body.
Nervously, the Mixers proceeded past the sandbags, heads on spikes, and bulls with inexplicably torn anuses, to the front door. Multiple gunshots were heard, and amid the sound of shattering glass, the Colonel opened the door for them.
“Holy shit…” the Dr. said in awe, “I’m no doctor, but didn’t we just see your severed head go through a window?”
“FUCK YOU” replied the Colonel with a twinkle in his eye.
From the couch, Srains noticed the new visitors. Grudgingly, he moved the hookerÂ’s corpse over to one side and, noticing some stray white powder, quickly scooped it up and inhaled it before standing up.
He picked up an Anvil and in one quick motion bashed the Colonel’s head in. While dismantling CNC’s corpse and soaking it in acid, he said “Don’t get us wrong, guys. We’re all really, genuinely nice people on our own. But in this house you won’t survive unless you have committed at least one felony by breakfast.”
“That’s right”, said the Colonel from behind them. The entire February contingent instantly defecated while the Colonel went on. “I’ve been at this a long time,” he said, skinning a live goat and weaving its hide into a jacket, “and if you’re not fighting for your survival every day, you’re fucked.”
After several hours of witnessing torture, multiple beheadings and resurrections, and the rapid departure of a busload of embarrassed but satisfied nuns, the Mixers returned to their hideout.
“I’VE FOUND MY PEOPLE!” exclaimed Lumberguy. “WHAT A RUSH!” uttered Doc. “I hope that iguana was okay” said Medic.
“We need to bring some excitement to our house…”, said Flyboy. “What if we… hear me out… call ourselves the FUCKING Catalina Wine Mixer?”
“Ooooh, I like it!” said Doc.
Just then, Buddy the Elf came on TV and all was right with the world.
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Part 3: REVENGE OF THE F.U.R.Y.
Written by CNC
After an interesting visit, the house that FURY built is contemplating the overall scene... which is to say, conducting business as usual.
"Damnit Josh, why do you keep encouraging these people?" asks Srains, while he is sweeping up after that latest vortex party.
With a sheepish grin, JTL just shrugs and says "but I was just out to share some love, nothing wrong with, that is there?"
Just then Probe enters the room, shuffling thru the mess on the floor, "just who the fuck is responsible for THIS mess? Carry on."
The whole room just rolls their eyes, with a couple head nods in JTL's direction.
"Hey there cutie," JTL says as Probe works his way across the room trying to get to the fridge.
Without missing a beat, Probe stares right at him and growls "who the fuck are you again? Carry on."
"But Dad, I'm..."
Before he can finish, Probe swings his basketball sized fist knocking JTL thru the wall and into the next room. With a grunt and smirk, Probe then mutters, "just get the hell out of my way, I'm thirsty. Carry on."
About that time, the Colonel enters the room, realizing that the house has been busy since the Wine Mixers had left. Surveying the damage, he raises his hand just in time to catch the cold beer Probe just threw at him... and says without batting an eye, "thanks Probe, I was just about to ask for one."
After opening his ice cold Miller Lite and taking a couple thoughtful drafts, the Colonel continues, "well guys, what did you think about our new neighbors?"
Srains props his head up with his broom and with a contemplative gaze, he says "well, they seem like a nice enough bunch, except they shit all over our floor... I'm not gonna say they were bad neighbors for doing so, because afterall, you literally scared the shit out of them Colonel."
"Well, if you ask me, I think they must all love fat chicks," Kyle chimes in as he enters the room flipping thru his recently purchased porno mags. "Thats just me though," says as he continues flipping thru pages and walking right out of the room.
"Yeah, I suppose we ought to try and normalize diplomatic relations with them," offers Srains, "just to ensure they know we are just like everyone else."
"What? Fuck them all... I'm not gonna coddle those young-un balls," Probe grunts out. "They just need to quit like us. Carry on."
Just then, the front door swings open putting everyone on alert... the Colonel's trigger finger begins to twitch. A collective sigh of relief is audible as they realize its just Brick coming back with the groceries.
"Hey guys, guess what? I just got a great deal on steaks and all the fixings... wanna fire up the grill today? Hey, maybe we can invite the Wine Mixers over," Brick suggests, though hardly finished, "I also visited this new house a little further down the road. Not a whole lot of residents in there yet, but they seem nice too. Maybe we can just plan a great big block party?"
Undaunted, Probe repeats his earlier statement... "What? Fuck them all... I'm not gonna coddle those young-un balls," Probe grunts out. "They just need to quit like us. Carry on."
"Hey Brick, how about we just handle one potential hazard at a time... I am still worried about these Wine Mixer guys," the Colonel remarks with total skepticism. "I mean come on guys, think about it. Look at our house... its got more battle scars than Gettysburg. We have an awful lot of graves out back as well, yet these guys live in a beautiful house... no violence, no drama... no dead bodies. There is just something suspicious about that."
Just as the Colonel finishes his thought, JTL comes crawling back thru the rubble of the wall he had most recently flown thru, "I love them... they are fun. Unlike you guys. I really like that LumberGuy... and Doc... and Josh... and Dizzy... and..." his list just continues on until the entire roll for the Wine Mixers has been recited, then he just crosses his legs on the carpet and sits with a stargazing smile and twinkle in his eye. "Yeah... Catalina... Mmmmmmmm."
Q-Dog, who had been sitting silently in the corner, planning his upcoming videos, finally chimes in, "Anyway FURY, they will certainly benefit from our profound wisdom... and if they can handle us, then I suggest we give them that chance." He then takes a deep breath, straightens his photo-activated reading glasses, and exclaims, "besides, I need to shoot a video in that house. The furniture was just to die for. Fucking talk about Man Glitter Central, that place gives me lots of ideas."
The Colonel nods and decides to summarize what the group wants. "Okay guys, I also agree. Lets all go back other there sometime and deliver the BBQ invite. I think that will..." suddenly the front slams open again, everyone reaches for their guns... the Colonel gets into his combat stance, nickel plated .357 at the ready... trigger finger twitching once again...
Probe begins pounding his fists together... Srains limbers up his diplomacy skills... and Dog gets his Zen warmed up. And JTL? Well, he just remains starry eyed with a shit eating grin on his face eager to see who the new visitor is.
But all they hear is a quickly spoken "Hi guys... bye guys", then the back door slams shut.
Rolling his eyes and clenching his teeth, the Colonel hisses out his displeasure... "FUCK ME TO TEARS ALREADY!!! Those damn PGs piss me off every time."
In unison, everyone in the house just shakes their heads and exclaim, "Colonel you are just a sanctimonious prick."
"Thanks guys... now off to February we go then. But this time, they get to meet Probe AND... we'll release... The Monk."
To be continued...
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Episode IV - Return to Catalina
Written by DrB
"Damn..."
"I know, right?"
The next 24 hours were tough in Wine Country. The Mixers sat staring at the floor or off into space, mentally reliving what they'd just experienced. For most, it had been months or even years since they'd actually filled their pants with feces. But how could any sane person have avoided it? Who but the most depraved soul could watch a grown man be dismembered and dissolved in acid, only to reappear moments later behind them as if nothing had happened?
Questions swirled in their brains... Who was the hooker, and how long had she been deceased? Why did they keep an anvil in the middle of the floor? Who the fuck is Kyle?
The television was showing static. Wine glasses sat unfilled. The only sounds were grunts, sighs, and the occasional necessary flatulence.
Mike looked up and, with a forlorn air, said "Something's missing, guys." Everyone nodded in agreement. "We used to be so happy with our peaceful lives, but now even if Will Farrell showed up it wouldn't be the exciting party we were hoping for..."
"Don't you DARE take the lord's name in vain," said Doc. "Will Farrell WILL return, and his return will be TRIUMPHANT, and we will ALL go to Catalina Island with him!". But his words sounded hollow, even to his own ears...
Suddenly, and without warning, the door blew off its hinges and shattered on the opposite wall.
"DIDJA MISS US, SPIT FUCKS?!" said a wild-eyed man who reeked of January. "I'm motherfucking PROBE. That's right. Bend over, Lumber, I'll show you how I got my fucking name!"
"Whoah, easy there big fella" said a familiar voice. The Colonel strode in and put a calming hand on Probe's shoulder. "Sorry boss," said Probe, "But these young-uns have the coddliest balls I've ever seen..."
In walked a man filming himself with a video camera. He sauntered over to the couch, sat down, and murmured with a delightful southern twang about this and that. DZismann72 hurried over, lifted up Dog's feet, and put them on the footrest. Then, unbidden, his rage boiled over and he ran from the house, screaming "I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH FOOTRESTS!"
"Guys", said the Colonel, "We're having a party. You know what that means. We're gonna grill some shit. Then we're going to shoot some shit. Hookers and blow, with a side of necrophelia. And we've rented a bouncer for the kids! Here's the flyer, please RSVP so we know how many cows we'll need to slaughter."
And they backed out, looking all around them. Clearly they were not used to leaving places without being under heavy fire. "Sorry about your door. Nice balls though" said Probe.
The Mixers stood still for a moment. Then they slowly began looking at each other, and their smiles grew wider. They started giggling, laughing, and fist-bumping. Then, as if choreographed, they all leaped into the air at the same time and...
FREEZE FRAME.
CUE OUTRO MUSIC.
SCROLL TEXT: "To be continued..."
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Episode 4.5: THE VISIT
Written by CNC
As the FURY all cautiously backtrack to the house, covering all corners and open spaces, the Colonel veers off to head for the store... unescorted.
The sun has just set, so he checks all of his flanks before sliding into the front seat of his SUV.
Just as he starts the engine of his rig, his spider-senses begin to tingle. Something is not right...
Right about the time the Colonel is ready to go on high alert, this low gravely voice comes from the back seat, "hello CNC... I've been watching you."
"What the FUCK???" The Colonel reaches for his gun, but its obviously too late to engage the intruder... he is caught off guard. "Who are you and what do you want?"
The shadowy visitor answers quietly, but sternly, "you have hijacked something that is rightfully mine, and I want it back."
"What? I don't know what you mean... I don't even know who you are, let alone what you are talking about," responds the Colonel.
"Fine, you wanna play that way? Go ahead, turn on the cabin lights then."
Hesitantly the Colonel does so, though steeled up for immediate physical combat. Suddenly, the cab of his truck is filled with a brilliant light... finally illuminating the "visitor".
The Colonel focuses his eyes... staring into the rearview mirror, stunned to see a familiar face glaring back at him.
The figure in the backseat sees this and breaks the silence, "so Colonel... now you know who I am... but YOU were supposed to be dead."
Un-rattled, the Colonel plays along, "yeah, I get that a lot!!! So, Coach Steve, what brings you to the 2018 block of KTC Chase?"
A moment of uneasy silence ensues... then the answer comes... "You do Colonel. I am here for you."
Then the lights go out... the engine shuts down... and nothing but silence.
To be continued.
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Episode 4.51: Flash back: HE'S BACK
Written by Coach Steve, title by SRains
Coach Steve aka FUCS is napping on the couch in the living room of the Glass House of April 2012 when the phone rings. FUCS waits a few rings to see if anyone else will pick it up...ring....ring....ring...realizing that Beast is enjoying the weekend of 69s with his wife, Vadge is working the late shift at the vagina sanctuary, and CBird is running his 15th marathon in as many days, FUCS begrudgingly gets off the couch to answer the land line...
FUCS: {muttering to himself} Who the fuck uses a landline anymore... {FUCS picks up old rotary phone} Hello?
Caller: Coach! Is that you?
FUCS: Yes...{still groggy from his nap and clearly irritated}
Caller: Hey Coach its RW Bullet from October 2017
FUCS: Oh..hey what's up?
RWB: Have you seen them yet Coach?
FUCS: Seen what?
RWB: The new narratives in October 2018?!
FUCS: {scratching his ass} Um...no can't say that I have
RWB: Oh Coach you gotta see these...they remind me of your narratives
FUCS: {perking up} Wait...what? You can't be serious.
RWB: Oh I'm very serious Coach...you need to check it out yourself!
FUCS: {yawning} Eh...I dunno man...I'm pretty busy right now
RWB: Busy doing what?
FUCS: {looking around and realizing he isn't wearing any pants} Um...you know...stuff and things
RWB: {sounding dejected} Well...ok...but I really think you oughta check it out
FUCS: {sighing} Alright man...just stop by the Glass House when you're ready and we'll go together
{Just then, the doorbell rings}
FUCS: {perplexed} RW?
RWB: Yes Coach?
FUCS: Did you just ring my doorbell?
RWB: Maybe...
FUCS: {walking to the front door and opening it}
RWB: Hey Coach!
FUCS: Dude seriously?
RWB: Sorry Coach but I'm really excited! {looking down} Coach...why aren't you wearing any pants?
FUCS: {shrugging} Do I really need pants? This is KTC Land and its my narrative
RWB: You have a good point. Well do you want to get dressed before we go?
FUCS: Nah...I'm good. Can you drive?
RWB: What's wrong with your car?
FUCS: Well...it's a long story...let's just say in all the narratives I've written I'm not sure I ever wrote myself a car
RWB: That's strange
FUCS: Not really, back in those days we could walk or ride Hipster's bicycle everywhere in KTC Land. Either that or Gmann aka "G" would try to pick me up in his pink VW Beetle. Now KTC has expanded into the suburbs and there's the new CHEWIE EXPRESSWAY
RWB: Well...I had to KUBER here
FUCS: KUBER?
RWB: Yeah it's the KTC version of UBER
FUCS: Ah..well KUBER it is I guess
RWB: {taking out his phone} I got it! You sure you don't want to put on any pants Coach?
FUCS: Does it really matter in the long run?
RWB: {shrugging} I guess not
{Just then, a black Audi with tinted windows pulls into the driveway}
RWB: Looks like our ride is here
FUCS: Certainly looks that way doesn't it
{FUCS and RWB make their way down the glass stairs and into the backseat of the Audi}
Enough: Howdy folks! I'm Enough from the Nov 2009 group, how are you fine quitters this evening?
RWB: Hi Enough! I'm RW Bullet and this is Coach Steve!
FUCS: Please...call me FUCS
Enough: {adjusting the rear view mirror} Um...Coach...you do realize you're not wearing any pants right?
FUCS: And...
Enough: {backing out of the driveway} Works for me chief!
{Enough pulls out of the 2012 HOF Neighborhood, onto KTC Boulevard and then the CHEWIE Expressway}
Enough: Yeah....I remember the good ole days when we were just a small community of quitters {pointing at a new retirement community under construction} Now we're just building and building
FUCS: Hell I remember when KTC Boulevard was just a dirt road that dead ended at LOOT's farm
RWB: What is LOOT's farm?
Enough: {looking in the rear view mirror} He was a quitter from the old days...one of the founding fathers
RWB: What happened to him?
FUCS: {putting his hand on RWB's shoulder} That's not for you to worry about right now, we have better things to do
RWB: {leaning back on the headrest} Ok Coach...
{Enough takes the 2018 HOF Group exit off of the CHEWIE Expressway. FUCS notices the exit sign has been painted over with black spray paint..."Welcome to the FOG"}
FUCS: Well that's comforting
{Enough pulls the car onto the shoulder at the end of the exit ramp}
Enough: This is as far as I go folks
FUCS: {looking at RWB} How far away are we?
RWB: Just a few blocks Coach
Enough: I would take you myself but KUBER guidelines prohibit us from entering the pre-HOF zone due to the hazards
FUCS: What hazards?
Enough: {Adjusting the mirror to check out FUCS's Ex Officio boxers} You will soon see for yourself
RWB: C'mon Coach, let's get going!
FUCS: {to Enough} Will I ever see you again?
Enough: You know where to find me...just post in Nov 2009 and tell us why you still post on KTC
FUCS: {getting out of the Audi} That I can do
{FUCS closes the door and Enough peels out into a 180 and accelerates onto the CHEWIE Expressway}
RWB: Let's get going Coach...it's not safe out here in the open...
FUCS: I'm starting to doubt this whole idea RWB
RWB: Just trust me Coach...
{Just then, a new quitter streaks by screeching "I'm quit, I'm quit, holy shit this sucks....ahhh....shit...I'm dying!" and then starts to run into the woods before stopping and turning towards FUCS. "Hey you there...you do realize you're not wearing any pants right?"}
FUCS: {cupping his hands} Hang in there bro it gets better!
New Quitter: {head turns 360 degrees} Thanks for the advice {then bounds into the brush}
FUCS: Hmmm..I can see why KUBER rules prohibit drivers going into this area
RWB: I promise it gets better Coach
{FUCS and RWB make their way towards the Jan 2018 FURY when they hear gunshots}
FUCS: {ducking} What the fuck was that?
RWB: That...my good sir...is the Jan 2018 FURY
FUCS: The FURY?
RWB: Yes...led by your favorite caricature
FUCS: {eyes widening} No....
RWB: Oh yes Coach...it is time
{FUCS and RWB make their way towards the Jan 2018 FURY stopping only to observe "Time to Say Goodbye" karaoke being performed by the Feb 2018 Catalina Wine Mixer group}
FUCS: What's up with those guys
RWB: Not really sure...but that's not why we're here
FUCS: So...why are we here?
{Just then, RWB ducks behind some brush and pulls FUCS with him}
FUCS: WTF dude?
RWB: {gesturing} Shhhh...look
FUCS: My dear god...
{FUCS gazes upon the compound of the Jan 2018 FURY. Surrounded by barbed wire fence and equipped with lookout sentries, the Jan 2018 FURY is aptly described as a hellscape. The decapitated heads of reincarnated quitters are mounted atop stakes surrounding the compound and shrill screams can be heard emanating from within}
FUCS: {eyes wide open} What...is...this...place?
RWB: This my dear Coach...is CNC's world
FUCS: {snapping his head towards RWB} What did you just say?
RWB: You heard me Coach...
FUCS: But...it can't be...
RWB: Oh but it is Coach. CNC has created new narratives to fit his shall I say...narrative
FUCS: So CNC is like CNN?
RWB: Sort of...but without the shitty cable news network
FUCS: Ah...I see...so what do you need me for?
RWB: Well Coach....you are the only one that can defeat him
FUCS: But I'm retired...
RWB: Are you?
{FUCS and RWB turn toward the camera}
FUCS: I guess not....
{To Be Continued...}
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Episode V: Murky Night
Written by joshthel0ser
Upon nightfall, Srains, and the Dog enter the FURY house after returning from their visit to the Wine Mixers.
They're greeted with a, "Hey fukers" from Monk and an insincere wave from JTL.
Srains, giving them the finger, says "Hi.." while Dog is still in awe over all the nice wooden furniture his new neighbors have throughout their home. Probe, in his old age, is walking slower and has not yet made it across the moat and to the front door.
JTL asks the guys how they enjoyed their latest encounter with the Winos. Srains says, "Yeah, I'll tell you in a second, Josh" he says as he searches the fridge for scallops and a White Russian in a can. JTL is thinking that doesn't sound like a great combo, but there isn't a better combo than boobs so what does it matter?
As Srains sits down and begins his tale, all of a sudden, the power goes out.
Dog explodes in a rage after all he's been through to get electricity in the first place. "What. The. Fuck. Guys?" he asks, expecting an answer none of the FURY could provide.
He takes a deep breath and says, "ommmmmm." That goes on for about three minutes. He pops in a stick of Trident Cinnamon, and resumes his meditation briefly before finally speaking again.
"You know what, this is okay. It's not.. we're paying for electricity, yet, it's out! But it's okay, we have to live life on life's terms" says the Dog.
JTL assures him and the rest of the fellas that it will be alright, and suggests they look for flashlights and candles.
Just then THE FURY hears some sort of moaning outside. "The fuck is that?" wonders Josh. "I don't know man, sounds like a beached whale .. or an old man out of breath." added Dog.
Feeling buzzed and brave on his canned vodka, Srains jumps up, opens the door, and peers out to see just what the hell was going on out there.
He sees Probe on the ground and a large rock just behind him. Srains, now laughing, slaps his knee and exclaims, "Guys, you were both right, it's an old man AND a -" he pauses from laughing so hard to the point it sounds like a tea kettle - "an old man AND a beached whale!"
All of the FURY begins to chuckle.
Josh gets up and rushes out to Probe, offering his hand. "C'mon daddy, let's get you up and inside!"
Rolling his eyes, Probe asks, "Who the fuck are you?" and reaches for Josh's hand. They proceed into the house and the old man notices the lack of light. Seeing Dog pacing on the phone, he realizes what's happened and chooses not to comment.
JTL gets Probe settled in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot black coffee and hands him the remote.
Meanwhile, Dog is on the phone with the elusive Duke Energy company. Tempers start to rise as patience dissipates.
At this time, a light begins to flicker, and power is restored to the FURY house.
The FURY hears a faint laugh. It gets louder and louder. A hysterical Brocc emerges from the basement where he flipped all of the breakers back on.
Too tired to rage, everyone is just glad that it's all over.
Mr. OnHunt says goodnight to the Duke lady and suggests Brocc go home for the night.
As some time passes by channel surfing and polishing guns, things begin to wind down.
Srains begins to sober up and breaks the silence with, "Hey, where the hell is the Colonel?"
"The Colonel is a sanctimonious prick, who needs him?", Josh asks facetiously and winks.
To be continued...
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Episode VI: The Wine Mixer has a discussion.
Written by Dzismann72
(((I have thoroughly enojyed the story so far and i thought I might like to add a piece to the saga. Someone, anyone is welcome to adjust formatting because I don't know code. Wine Mix on!)))
The night before the big block barbeque, the Catalina Wine Mixers had a house meeting.
The men gathered in the chairs and couches looking at the CNC sized boot marks on the floor.
Jwebb can't find his favorite wooden chair since the January boys left...
The group seems divided, some wide eyed and excited while others are pale faced and unconvinced.
Dr. Bottux rose from his chair to say loudly:
Guys, this is going to be a good thing! We get to cut loose and earn that "Fuckin" we've been thinking about hanging outside. Lumber has already started redesigning the sign.
Jmedic talks while waving his half empty pint glass
Doc, let's think this through. We've got a great thing going here and doesn't every kid these days wear a 'Stones t-shirt when they can't tell paint it black from satisfaction?
Dr.: But there are so few of us, we need to get out more and make our presence known!
Jmedic: Then why not start by making inroads with march? In a nicer part of the neighborhood! someplace that maybe doesn't have more bullets than the Cinton foundation?
Lumber: Because January is Fucking Awesome! They have target practice in the hallway! Axe throwing in the kitchen! And they have pictures on the walls!
Josh605 chimes in from the back: "we have pictures on our walls!" and he points to the famous Dogs playing poker painting
Lumber: Pictures of tits! JTL and CopeFiend have that place swimming in beautiful, tanned, smirking, smiling, long haired, covered in red, delicious, popping titties. Where can we hang that good shit around here?
Beebee addreses the group with conviction and desperation: You guys aren't even a little worried about bringing their mess into our house! Look at how tidy it is! We pay our bills on time, we follow the HOA CCR's, we have intact drywall!
From outside, A loud crack follwed by the smell of cinamon preludes the entrance of the all seeing Drome.
As he talks, he strolls through the room, looking at each of the wine mixers, seeing through them and knowing their story:
"I ben here uh long time n I seen jus bout it all. I think that uh bbq is a helluva way ta build comunity. Ya otta take the oppertunity ta go n git yer quits on."
He went around the corner and left the way he came with a crack and another strong whiff of cinamon.
Dz: Maybe we can- I don't want to overstep here - maybe we can bring some sides, have a beer or two, and then politely leave before it gets too late?
J Webb: and maybe we can ask Dog about my chair....
Pike hunter, sitting by the window gets the attention of the group, " What in the fuck are they doing?!"
The group squeezes closer to window to behold the truly incredible scene.
Outside the January house, CNC and JTL are stacking every piece of wood that isn't nailed down on the heaping mountain of firewood in the front yard and spilling into the street.
Dog is sharpening ten foot long skewers and muttering about man glitter.
Probe is sitting on the front porch between two 8 foot speaker towers blaring the Doors and manning the .50 incase anyone gets out of line.
Srains is working a small herd of cattle towards a makeshift corral with a cattle prod and the Colonel's spare service pistol.
"oh, there's my chair!" JWebb exclaims noticing Monk, sitting naked and sideways on top of the bonfire pile playing with a butane torch.....
To be continued..........
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EPISODE VII: THE SHOWDOWN - FUCS versus CNC
Written by CNC
The following is based on a true story. KTC Invetigators from the Department of Quitter Safety have been able to piece together many of the events from oral and written eye-witness accounts. While no one is certain about all the details, and many questions go unanswered to this day, all that can be said is "let the reader decide for themselves."
As many recall, the events of The Visit and The Mirky Night transpired immediately following the second visit to the Wine Mixers house of chill. Where the Colonel was confronted by someone from his past, with a mission of their own. It appeared to the Colonel that this person was a hitman from 2012 HOF side of town to silence him... permanently.
Caught off guard, the intruder had gained the upper hand while concealed in the backseat of CNC's SUV. Waiting in the dark... the perfect ambush. This is what happened next.
Many things happened all at the same time, as many combat veterans can attest to, things get confusing (and even harder to decipher after the fact), but the Colonel knew he had to act fast and decisively before his opponent. The chances of coming out this were understandably slim... the numbers just did not add up in his favor. His .357 still in its leather under his jacket, and his highly modified AR-15 sitting inconveniently on the passenger seat... what weapons he had leveled at him by Coach Steve? Absolutely unclear. The Colonel just knew though, it took some serious balls to pull this off... and it would make zero sense to attempt it while unarmed.
The numbers continued to count off... he was running out of time. "LETS ROCK!!!" the Colonel growls as he grabs for leather.
At the same time, the passenger door flies open revealing yet another bushwacker. RWB, who had been observing from a safe distance, determined that things were about to go South for his friend FUCS. He was hoping to disarm the Colonel and defuse the situation before it escalated to a high intensity conflict of epic proportions. He was seconds too late... the action had begun.
Fumbling with the Colonel AR-15, RWB didn't realize that the Colonel had asked Probe to modify the trigger and fire selector... it was now a full-auto weapon with a hair trigger. There really is no way RWB could have known this while he tried to balance the heavy weapon that was sporting a double-barrelled 100 round magazine, optics of every type mounted everywhere possible, and a 37mm flare launcher attached in the over-under configuration.
As he was trying to gain control of the Colonel's machine gun his finger brushed against the trigger... with next to no zero trigger pull required, the weapon exploded into action. Spraying lead all over the inside of the SUV. Punching holes in the windshield, all the paneling, and destroying the dashboard. The cacophony was deafening... like nothing RWB had ever experienced. At this point the magazine was already half-empty, so he just decided to ride it out... but the runaway weapon seemed to have a mind of its own.
So, reaching up with this left hand, RWB tried to grab at the handguard to at least direct his fire away from Coach Steve... but instead he grabbed the trigger of the Havoc Flare Launcher, sending a Super Blaster flare bouncing all over the inside of the cab. Then the whistling started... like incoming artillery... RWB dropped the rifle and ran to gain cover before the round exploded. Hitting grass just in time, the Blaster round went off, exploding like a 1/4 stick of TNT, sending sparks and smoke everywhere... the color scheme was bedazzling.
RWB glanced up, crawled up onto his elbows, and actually admired the fireworks show for a few moments.
Muttering outloud, "wow, that Colonel sure knew how to outfit a weapon. That is some pretty shit right there."
When the AR-15 finally ran out of ammo, and the echoes from the Super Blaster subsided, the neighborhood was deadly quiet... like a cemetery at midnight. No bugs, no birds, no traffic, no nothing. Just smoke and the smell of cordite.
From around the side of the SUV creeps Coach Steve... apparently unharmed. "Just what the hell did you do RWB? Holy cow."
RWB just shakes his head... ears still ringing... "I am not sure of anything now. That was the craziest thing I was ever witnessed." Tapping the sides of his head with his palms. "What about the Colonel?"
Coach Steve looks inside the still smoke filled cab... waves some of it away until he sees what it was he was looking for.
The Colonel pinned against the door with about 20+ bullet holes covering his body while clenching his favorite pistol... blood splatter everywhere... gore covering the seats and dash... he was obviously dead.
But the vision that Coach Steve will never forget, was the look on the Colonel's face... a grizzly looking mixture of rage and a smile.
"Uh, RWB you probably don't want to look in there... its not pretty," FUCS says as he turns to walk away.
At that very moment, members of The FURY and Catalina Wine Mixer begin to arrive at the scene to investigate the "hell-on-earth" that was unleashed only yards away from their respective houses.
Coach Steve sees this and makes an announcement to the growing crowd, "Brothers... please... let me explain. I am Coach Steve from 2012, I was summoned here to take care of a problem... unfortunately it didn't quite go down as I planned, and well... the Colonel is dead. I am sorry for your loss."
The members of FURY look back and forth at each other... seemingly in shock over the news, while the Wine Mixers are flabbergasted at the fact that they were living next door to an active combat zone the whole time. Each taking a moment to glance inside the cab to confirm the brutal tale as told by this character called Coach Steve.
Once convinced of the validity of his story, a long drawn out silence followed... no one moved or spoke a word.
Then, breaking the silence with a thunderous roar... "WELL JUST FUCK ME TO TEARS ALREADY" the Colonel bellows out as he strolls around the corner, with the illumination from the SUV's lights casting an eerie glow across his face... Coach Steve noticing the facial expression was the same as he saw on the "Colonel" in the truck.
Gasps are heard throughout the assembled group. Eyes widen and jaws drop open. The FURY all smile. Probe speaks up first... "THAT'S our Colonel... the Sanctimonious Prick!!!"
As for the Wine Mixers? Just as before... almost in unison, they collectively shit themselves.
And this is what the investigators have entered into the official records at KTC City Hall.
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To be continued???
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Episode VII.V - FUCS and the F.U.R.Y.
Written by Coach Steve, Title by SRains
{FUCS and RWB are scouting the FURY Compound when they hear a rustling in the bushes behind them}
RWB: {turning around} What the hell was that?
FUCS: I have no idea, probably just another tweaked out new quitter
{Just then, Enough emerges from the bushes}
Enough: Hey guys
FUCS: Dammit Enough, you scared the shit out of me!
Enough: Sorry Coach
RWB: Hey I thought you weren't allowed to enter the 2018 Pre-HOF groups?
Enough: Yeah...I thought about what you guys were talking about in the car and decided I couldn't leave you hanging. Plus it seemed like Coach was under the impression I was still a part of Nov 09 instead of Oct 17
FUCS: {perplexed}Wait....what? I'm fake news?
Enough: Yeah...
RWB: Alright let's get back to the plan
FUCS: What is the plan?
RWB: I thought you had the plan?
FUCS: Me? Why would you think that? You're the one that dragged me out here
RWB: Well it's your narrative Coach, therefore it's your plan
{Just then, the power goes out in the FURY Compound and the quitters notice a commotion at the front entrance. Apparently Probe has been laid out by someone with a large rock and Srains, JTL and Dog are standing around laughing at him}
FUCS: Is Srains drinking a canned White Russian?
RWB: {gagging}I think I just threw up in my mouth
Enough: Alright guys...this is our chance
FUCS: Chance for what?
Enough: To get into the Compound...
RWB: How exactly do you plan on doing that?
Enough: I gave a few of the FURY quitters a KUBER ride one night after they'd been out drinking canned White Russians
RWB: And....
Enough: And...they were taking about CNC and how he rules the FURY Compound with an iron fist and keeps dying then reincarnating to make everyone afraid of him
FUCS: Are you talking about Jim?
RWB: {confused} Wait...who is Jim?
FUCS: CNC is Jim, and he's harmless
RWB: He certainly doesn't look harmless
FUCS: Look..once you get past the gruff exterior, he's a gentle soul longing to be accepted
RWB: So what does this have to do with getting into the Compound?
Enough: {rolling his eyes} I've had Enough! If Mr. Narrative over here would quit interrupting me I could finish!
FUCS: {snickering} Have you...had "enough"
Enough: Dammit Coach...
FUCS: Sorry, sorry, please continue
Enough: As I was saying...these drunken FURY quitters basically gave me the keys to the front door
RWB: Is that a euphemism?
Enough: {pulling something out of his pocket} Nope...they literally gave me the keys to the Compound!
FUCS: {rubbing his hands together} Oooohhh...this will be masterful!
{Just then, the quitters hear a "ding"}
RWB: What was that?
FUCS: I think I have a PM..hold on a minute {checks his PMs}
RWB: Who is it Coach?
FUCS: It appears to be from CNC...something about me planning a covert attack on the Compound
Enough: Oh god! He's know we're here {turns to run}
RWB: {grabbing Enough's shirt} Hold on there pal...we need those keys
Enough: Ok..you're right, can I leave know?
FUCS: Nope...we need you to waltz in the front door
Enough: You need me to do what?
FUCS: You heard me...the plan is becoming clear
{The quitters huddle up as FUCS discusses "The Plan"}
{Cut scene to inside the FURY Compound kitchen. Probe, JTL, and Srains are enjoying scallops and canned White Russians}
Probe: Who's idea was it to drink canned White Russians?
JTL: {chugging the last bit and gagging} I believe that would be me
Srains: I dunno guys, I kinda like them
JTL: You would...
Srains: What's that supposed to mean?
JTL: {standing up out of his chair}You heard me Sally!
Probe: {still woosy from taking a rock to the head earlier} Guys..guys...no need to turn against one another
{Just then, Rob W walks into the kitchen with his head phones on, doesn't say a word, pops some popcorn, and walks back to his room}
Srains: Ok...that was weird
Probe: Speaking of weird...where in the hell is CNC?
JTL: {sitting back down}I haven't seen him for awhile...I gotta be honest guys, these last few days have been weird. It's almost as though we have competing narratives that don't seem to follow any defined chronology
{Just then, Dog walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge}
Dog: Can any of you rootin tootin rascals tell me why we only have canned White Russians to drink around here? What I wouldn't give for a Bud about now!
JTL: Like I was saying...we're sitting here trying to figure out what happened to CNC and then Dog walks in, starts talking like a cartoon and we have a fridge full of canned White Russians and scallops...what in the actual fuck is going on here?
{Just then, the power goes out...}
JTL: {turning on his phone flashlight}You see..this is the crap I'm talking about
Probe: To be fair...I think the power goes out in your version of events..
JTL :Oh...right...well it's still weird
Dog: Hah! It's not weird when it's *your* dog...get it...your dog?
Srains: Yeah...we get it. I'm going to check the breaker panel in the basement
{Srains walks down he basement stairs, being sure to avoid the nails placed there by CNC to deter invaders. As he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he feels the hair stand up on the back of his neck}
Srains: Is somebody there....hello?
{Srains looks around and makes his way towards the breaker panel. He opens the panel and reaches for the breaker when he feels cold steel being pressed to the back of his neck}
Voice: Don't move an inch?
Srains: {raising his hands in the air} Colonel...is that you?
CNC: Yes...and I'm not going to let you ruin this for me
Srains: Ruin what?
CNC: That dastardly Coach Steve...he's going to rue the day he messed with me!
{CNC proceeds to knock Srains out with a chlorophyll rag and drags his body behind the dehumidifier}
CNC: {patting Srains on the chest} Sorry old pal...but this needs to happen
RWB: {cocking a shotgun and pointing it at the back of CNC's head} What needs to happen?
CNC: You're making a big mistake
RWB: Am I?
CNC: Yes...do you know how much of a sanctimonious prick I am?
RWB: I hear that's what you call yourself...I've heard differently from Coach
CNC: What does he know?
RWB: Apparently a lot...Jim
CNC: What did you just call me?
{Just then, JTL comes down the stairs with his phone flashlight}
JTL: Um...what the hell are you guys doing?
{CNC takes advantage of the distraction and turns to grab the shotgun from RWB and knock him out with the butt of the gun}
JTL: {stunned} Why'd you do that?
CNC: He was going to ruin the entire narrative!
JTL: What narrative?
CNC: My narrative! I know FUCS is waiting for me in the back seat of my SUV, he just doesn't know that I know that
JTL: Wait...I'm confused...so FUCS is inserting himself into *your* narrative?
CNC: Why wouldn't he?
JTL: I dunno...maybe he's not that stupid. Hold up...would you say you were trying to set up a *booby* trap for Coach?
Probe: {yelling from upstairs} What's the deal with the breaker panel? The canned White Russians are getting warm!
CNC: But he *is* that stupid and he loves booby traps!
JTL: {snickering} You said booby!
CNC: Dammit!
{Just then FUCS emerges from the shadows}
FUCS: Hello Jim...
CNC: Oh for fucks sake. Um...Coach..why aren't you wearing any pants?
FUCS: Let's not worry about the pants right now. Did you really think I would be waiting for you in the back of your Honda CRV?
CNC: Well...I just...it made the most sense
FUCS: Did it make sense? Especially given my inferior understanding of how to make an AR-15 fully automatic?
CNC: You have a point
JTL: {with a handful of frozen scallops and canned White Russians} Are you guys still talking?
FUCS: You mind if I get one of those Russians?
JTL: {tossing FUCS a can} Sure thing...Trump loves those things you know...
FUCS: {cracking open the can} Did you just....
JTL: Yeah I think I did
FUCS: {taking a sip and gagging} Oh my god...how do you guys drink this crap?
Dog: {from upstairs} That's what the shit I'm talking about!
CNC: So...what do we do now?
FUCS: {shrugging his shoulders} How about building a giant bonfire in front of the Catalina Wine Mixer house?
JTL: I'm down
CNC: Me too
{I'm not sure I can continue this absurdity, and definitely can't follow Probe's f-ed up storyline}
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Episode VIII - Pre-BBQ Reflections
Written by CNC
Episode VIII - Pre-BBQ Reflections
All of the brothers of FURY are sitting around a bonfire and enjoying a nice quiet night for a change... before the long anticipated BBQ.
Some guys are drinking their favorite beers, and some are choking down the canned White Russians that JTL continues to stock in the fridge.
Oddly enough, its a silent night. No one is shooting off their guns... nor shooting off their mouths.
What appears to have been the core crew huddles close around the fire.
The Veteran surveillance cameras capture Q-Dog, Srains, Probe, and the Colonel doing as expected... sitting close to each other, and discussing important matters in low tones.
JTL and Monk are hovering not far away... pretending to enjoy each other's company, but keeping a close ear on what the "core crew" is saying.
"Hey Monk," JTL whispers. "Did you ever suspect these guys were the Council?"
All Monk does is giggle and incomprehensibly roll his eyes as he continues to fiddle with a lighter while sitting atop the bonfire pile for the upcoming BBQ.
JTL realizing that he is talking to an idiot, tries to extract himself from the situation... unsuccessfully though.
Monk just then explodes with excitement as Josh tries to extricate himself, "I hate you Josh... but I think you are the sexiest guy in THE FURY!!!"
Uncharacteristic of JTL (well kind of), he strips off all of his clothes and runs away... waving and screaming "I love you too Monk but I have something better to do. So, bye bye sweety!!!" Josh goes from a run to a sprint as he rounds the corner, screaming down the road, "I AM QUIT, I AM QUIT!!!"
Meanwhile, back at the bonfire, "just what the fuck was that?" Srains asks as he glances left and right.
"Fuck it... I don't care, its probably that kid whose name I never remember, Carry on." Probe answers as he rolls his eyes, returning to poking at the burning embers... growling with satisfaction.
"Gentlemen, I have kind of a deep question to ask... do you mind" asks the Colonel as he casually returns his favorite pistol into its nicely oiled leather holster.
"Go ahead Colonel, the only bad things are those that you do not share with us..." states Q-Dog, referencing some awesome intellectual Icon of recovery science.
"Yeah go ahead Colonel, we've been thru hell and back... no sense holding back now," agrees Srains.
"Fucking-A sir, lets get it all on the damn table. Carry On" adds Probe.
Feeling that the time was right, the Colonel notices some of the FURY brother standing at the sidelines... as if they did not feel invited. He waves them all over.
Guys like Kyle, Brick, JTL, Monk, Chief, and JP approach the fire... its no mistake that these guys also happened to be the few that conversed with the Colonel during his most difficult days
Hell, most (not all) even fought alongside the FURY Council back in the day.
The Colonel sighs as if he has a very difficult item to share, "Well guys, I know you have been thru hell... and many of you are still going thru some FUNK and RAGE."
"I have brought an awful lot of this violence and combat into our neighborhood... because I have so SO many enemies. They will never completely leave me alone... leave US alone."
As the fire grows larger, the glow strikes each of their faces in their individual and unique ways... highlighting the sincerity of the moment.
The Colonel then unknowingly and instinctively pulls Phred (his favorite nickel plated .357 revolver) from its leather shoulder holster and just waves it like a baton.
"Hell, I don't know why I keep getting resurrected... nor why everyone still wants to kill me... but, here I am" the Colonel finishes while spinning his pistol like an old west gunfighter.
CNC then tries to wrap things up... "not sure why Coach Steve denies the reality of what is happening around here... RWB did in fact kill me that night... and FUCS was in fact there."
"Anyway guys, I will support all of you... and fight like we always have. FUCS is up to something... on some kind of mission..." the Colonel suggests with absolute certainty.
Lowering his head in deep thought, the Colonel then raises a finger... "but its up to you guys... it always has been."
Without hesitation, the Colonel finishes his remarks by using Phred to shoot a smiley face into the side of February's house... unsatisfied, he reloads and pitches his empty Miller Lite can into the air... putting 4 rounds into it before it lands into the garbage can.
"Gentlemen, don't we have a Barbecue coming up?"
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Episode IX - No BBQ... just another Roasting
Written by CNC
The FURY, having been threw a crap load of drama over their first 2 months, have yet again endured another assault... a real fucking mess too. The house is left dirty as sin, and the yards have been destroyed by invading Vets... driving their Prius's all over the lawn trying to bust into the perimeter. Fortunately the collective defenses held, and many a wrecked hybrid car is abandoned at the curb. But still, the FURY is left wondering why they remain the "ground zero" of the new KTC Chase Development... all while trying to plan the BBQ with their neighbors.
"Holy shit guys, I try to gather supplies for our BBQ and come back to a wholesale slaughter?" the Colonel exclaims. "I mean, seriously guys, couldn't it have waited until I got back?"
The Colonel points at all the carnage around the January property. Smoldering Toyota Pri-i along every curb, bodies of Veterans scattered about the lawn, and bullet holes everywhere... even a few select Vet heads freshly spiked near the front door. Looks of disdain locked on their faces, frozen in time thru their grizzly deaths.
"No way Colonel... this had to be done," chimes in Srains. "Besides, they deserved it..."
"Fucking A Colonel, from the start we had to do this..." exclaims Probe. "Besides, without you around to draw fire, it was absolutely necessary that we fight them on our own terms. Carry on!"
The Colonel continues to walk the battlefield... trying his best to conceal his smiles of satisfaction.
Out of nowhere a handful of visitors round the corner... the Colonel instinctively grabs for his sidearm, while at the same time realizing that its only his crazy neighbors.
Doc, Josh, Lumber, and Dizy saunter onto the FURY property... apparently uninvited.
As Doc is staring down the barrel of the Colonel's nickel plated .357, he speaks up... but uncharacteristically calm this time. "Look CNC, we've been here before, remember?"
"Uh, yeah... I do" the Colonel stammers.
"Come on man, we all have some serious shit going on too... you know?" Lumber offers with a look of absolute sincerity.
The Colonel squints at the intrusion and supposed offerings.
"Damnit Colonel, we aren't your enemies..." Josh the Lineman spouts off.
The Colonel still cannot re-holster his favored weapon, but uncontrollably blinks... trying to get his bearings. Unsure what "friends" are anymore.
"Look man, the Catalina Wine Mixers are here for you," says Doc.
"Sure we think your house is whacked out... but we are always right here for you guys," adds Lumberguy. "But shit Colonel, look at March."
Josh the Lineman cautiously steps forward, towards the Colonel... leery of the large caliber handgun directed at him and his brothers... "look man, we are okay here..."
"Yeah Colonel, you and the FURY ought to look at your other neighbor..." interrupts Doc.
In unison, the Wine Mixers exclaim... "FURY, you need to watch out for the March Madness... there are some trouble makers in there."
"Really?" answers the Colonel.
"I think we have something to say about that shit," Probe exclaims with total satisfaction and anticipation. "I think I have something to add for a change. Carry on."
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Episode X - The Colonel meets Q-Dog (The Retrospective)
Written by CNC
Once upon a time, these quitters did not know each other. Yet, at some point... some how... some where... they came together and built a team.
During those early days, Dogonhunt was hammering away at folks... doing his best to sell his story. Telling the tail of addiction recovery... yet, no one was listening...
This guy was top notch... only the biggest idiots would ignore him. And plenty of them were turning a blind eye.
Well, along came the biggest PRICK in all of KTC history... The Colonel.
History is not 100% accurate in its recounting, but what is obvious and clear... somehow the connection happened.
"Hey Q-Dog, I see what you are gunning for... I love it..." the Colonel offered.
DogOnHunt, unsure of this tainted jackass decided to reply... he took a chance.
"Colonel, I see what you are going thru..." Mr Dog shares. "What is your deal?"
The Colonel sees an opening... a chance to help a Brother. "Q-Dog, I have some history here... its not good, I am poison around here, but I believe in you... you can do this."
Hesitantly Dog speaks up... "Colonel, I am not sure about you... if you are quit though, I will quit with you."
SO ENDETH THE RECOLLECTION.
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EPISODE XI - CNC meets Probe (The Retrospective)
Written by CNC
These two really just bumped into each other... nothing was meant to be, just a clear case of FATE!
It all pretty much boils down to this... they have a shared military history... AND a "fuck you" type mentality.
"Hey Probe, this is the Colonel... can you talk?" the Colonel asks during their first phone call.
Probe, true to form, really doesn't give a shit about who he is talking to.
"Hello?" the Colonel repeats?
"Yeah what do you want?" Probe asks, still unsure who he is talking to.
Colonel No Cope persists, "Hey Probe, I know you are military, and I respect that... I need someone like you to understand what I am saying... are you game?"
Probe delays in answering for quite some time... but eventually chimes in.
"Okay you serial caving fucker... what do you want from me?" Probe asks.
Undaunted, the Colonel knows exactly what he needs to say...
"Fuck all that shit Probe... you damn well know we have bigger fish to fry... bigger battles to fight" blasts out the Colonel.
Probe remains silent for quite some time... and the Colonel can here it over the phone.
"Well brother whether you like it or not... I am here for you... fuck the Vets..." states the Colonel.
Probe sits back in his chair and considers the Colonel's offerings.
No one on KTC has done this before to his knowledge... Probe, the brutal fucker that he is, signs up.
Muttering under his breath, "fuck all of you".
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Episode XII: The Aftermath
Written by CNC
Before reading this story, I would like to send out my prayers to Jesse and his wife. I sincerely hope everything gets back to normal for you and remains that way.
A number of weeks have passed since we last heard about our friends in JanuaryÂ… the house that FURY built. Back when they were actively preparing for the mega-BBQ event with their friends in February.
Now, tumbleweed bounces across the cratered lawn passed a massive pile of bonfire wood which goes untendedÂ… and unburned. Where a casual passerby only notices the wrecked and torched out Priusi around the property and accompanied by thousands of bullet casings of varying calibers. The dead bodies and spiked heads have since rotted beyond recognition and remain only as a reminder of what had once occurred here.
The house remains occupied howeverÂ… by number of the original FURY of legend. Nowadays, the property is more like one of those rundown places where grumpy old men shoo away salesmen by waving shotguns or screaming at neighborhood kids to get off the lawn. Something has indeed changedÂ… and what follows is derived from what WKTCÂ’s investigative reporters have uncovered.
---
ItÂ’s a very cold January day in KTC Chase as the members of the FURY go about their daily business quietly. No action to speak ofÂ… very little talking. Just the guys doing their own thing. Probe keeping himself busy picking up recyclables; Kyle surfing fat chick porn; and Brick paging thru the latest issue of Bon Apetite magazine.
Srains is pacing back and forth in the kitchen debating with himself between what he wants to cook for everyone or rehearsing his KTC Burrow 2018 Mayoral campaign speech. So, he elects to multi-task and do bothÂ… much to the confusion of his FURY audience.
Outside, the sounds of the occasional up-armored Prius break the silence as the authorities continue to patrol the neighborhood… the drivers and gunners on constant guard, white knuckled and nervous. Eager to get passed this block, yet vigilant enough to maintain “the peace” by whatever means they deem necessary.
Probe growls out a few choice insults as they roll passed him, then he dumps a bucket of beer cans into the mandatory KTC recycle bins, next to the recycled paper collectors, stacks of recycled cardboard, piles of bottles, and even a bucket for recycling human feces.
“Waste not want not” being the logo stamped on the containers.
“What the fuck has happened around here,” he mumbles as he turns towards the perimeter gate… which has also fallen into disrepair.
Just then around the corner bounds JTL… “whats up Pops? I just love these nice quiet days, don’t you?”
“Who are you again?” Probe snorts out.
“Yeah, I see that I already missed the KTC Courtesy Patrol… I try to wave and smile at them every time they…” but before JTL can finish his sentence, Probe swings the beer can bucket. Catching JTL right alongside his head.
As his eyes are literally spinning in circles from the impact, JTL just rubs this head and whines, “OOOooowww, what was that for?”
“I fucking felt like it… now carry on.”
About that time, a relatively new friend to our heroes comes onto the property… easily dodging the landmines and snickering at the spiked heads, stopping on occasion to point at one, “I knew that guy… what a douche too. Yo Probe, whats up asshole? Wanna go pick a fight?”
Probe looks over to see CanofBeans walking thru the wreckage and grimaces… “maybe, whatcha got in mind?”
“Well, I heard about this new guy down the road in April… I bet we could stir up some great shit over there,” he says with a devil-may-care grin and a wink. Probe hesitates… then COB drops the clincher, “I hear that the Mods are gathering already and spouting all sorts of stuff.”
“I’m in, just let me grab a few things and let the others know about…” just then he is interrupted by the arrival of a what appears to be a Brinks armored car painted jet black with fully tinted windows. The rig rumbles up to the curb in front of January and stops… engine then sputters into silence.
With a quick glance up and down the street, COB notices a few Mod Priusi stationed in overwatch positions a couple houses down in each direction. “Hang on Probe, I’ll let the rest of your brothers know… be right back,” he says then sprints into the house to grab everyone he can find.
Probe stands there gazing at the stationary security detailÂ… thumbing the safety off of the concealed automatic in his pocket.
One by one, the FURY members cautiously join Probe in the drivewayÂ… Srains, Brick, Kyle, MattyB, TrainerJesse, and even TexasChief strolls out polishing what he calls his Liberal Re-education ToolÂ… a bat wrapped with barbed wire. JTL huddles nearbyÂ… squinting to see if he knows any of the visitors.
The silence is deafening. The situation uncertain.
All that is clear, is that something unusual is about to happen.
Coming soon... Episode XIII: The Return of the Colonel...?
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Episode XIII: The Return of the ColonelÂ… ?
Written by CNC
Screw it... so much new material, I already have enough for an episode XIV. Might as well post this one.
When we left The FURY, they were gathered just outside the garage door of the January house. Watching as a KTC security detail has stationed itself along the curb. Silent with no movement or activity of any sort.
-----------------------------
“What the fuck is this all about,” asks Chief.
“I know I am relatively new compared to you guys, but have any of you ever seen anything like this before?” asks MattyB.
CanofBeans shakes his head slowly… uncertain. “I have seen lots of shit around here… and heard a lot of stories, but this is fucking weird Mod shit right here.” He clenches his firsts and cracks his neck to each side, “you guy had best be ready for anything.”
“Let them come get some… I don’t give a fuck” growls Probe, his steely eyes focused on the armored car before them.
“Hey guys, maybe if I just walk down there and see what they want? Maybe I can help without any unnecessary…” Srains is drowned out as two black helicopters blast into view… hovering just above the Brinks truck… rotor wash blowing debris and recyclables everywhere.
“Damnit, I just organized that shit…” yells Probe over the sound of the prop blast. “Fuck ‘em, they can clean it up themselves.”
Just then, the back doors of the rig swing open slowly and out climbs four mean in black leather, with sun glasses, and those black leather police hatsÂ… complete with studs and chains.
JTL lets slip an audible sigh of approval before Probe slaps him on the back of the head with a shush.
The lead helo, outfitted with a public address system, volume turned up to 11, broadcast the following announcement:
“Do not be alarmed. We are your friends. We have taken all the steps necessary to ensure your safety. This is for your own good. After receiving hundreds of rumors… et em… factual reports, we apprehended a few suspects for re-education. Again, this was done for the safety of the community and to protect you from yourselves. We are now returning one of them in as quietly and unceremoniously as possible to prevent any misguided accusations or further bloodshed. Once we leave, we wish you all happy happy thoughts and shiny smiley days. Thank you, now carry on.”
One of the leather clad security men then reaches into the truck and pulls out a sledgehammer and a 6Â’ steel rod and walks up to the FURYÂ’s front lawn. Stunned and confused, the group watches as he hammers the rod into the ground. Another guard affixes a chain and collar to the end and returns to the back of the truck.
In unison, the four guards lean into the truck and remove a two-wheeled handcart, with what looks like a man strapped to it. He appears to be wearing a filthy white straight jacket, and a leather muzzle strapped over his mouthÂ… secured with a 2500 series government padlock.
They wheel the cart over to the yard, where they put the collar and chain onto the “prisoner”, securing it again, with a similar unbreakable padlock. Once properly attached, three of them draw their cattle prods from their utility belts, while the fourth cautiously unstraps the figure from the cart and backs away.
The “the prisoner” then turns to look at each guard, then scans the group as they watch in stunned silence.
“Hey… hey guys, isn’t that the Colonel?” asks Brick. “I would recognize those fucking eyes and his I’m-Gonna-Kill-You gaze from a million miles away.”
“Where the fuck has he been?” asks Kyle.
“Better yet… what the fuck have they done to him?” adds Srains.
The “Colonel” tests the chain, then sits down on the nearest pile of sandbags as he watches the security detail back out of the neighborhood, slowly and carefully. Once the ground forces are out of range, the helos race out of FURYan airspace as quickly as they arrived blasting the LEGO Movie song “Everything is Awesome” over the PA on their way out. Leaving nothing but deafened ears and confused looks.
“Now I’m pissed,” Probe hisses as he backhands JTL out of frustration… “this kind of explains a bad dream I had about the time of The Colonel’s disappearance. I thought I was abducted and experimented on by a bunch of guys dressed like those jokers… all the while, I could not talk or fight back. Very weird.”
Despite the seriousness of the events, everyone starts laughing hysterically.
“What!!! What the fuck are you losers laughing at?” Probe looks around the group trying to figure it out.
Then COB chimes in on behalf of the crowd… “So, let me get this straight. You were abducted by a bunch of gay looking guys, in tight black leather clothes, then ‘experimented’ on? Were they by chance wearing ass-less chaps and singing YMCA?”
“FUCK YOU. Who are you anyway,” Probe grunts, then walks back into the house to watch more Figure Skating.
“So guys, what do we do now?” asks Kyle.
“That’s a very good question, I need to make a few phone calls first,” says Srains as he reaches for his cell phone. “One way or another, we’ll get to the bottom of this.”
Then an unfamiliar character pushes his way thru the crowd to the front. “Hey guys, I’m Zyx… I just moved in and don’t know much about this neighborhood, but if you ask me, thats some pretty messed up stuff right there.”
“Damn right,” says Mr Persson… some call him Roger.
Then as usual, JTL bounces back around the corner innocently enough. “So, does anyone want to talk about their day? Or about boobies?”
Coming soon - Episode XIV: Caged Like A "Dog"
-
My HOF Speech
I'm Steve, and my last dip was Friday 9/29/17. I have been nicotine free since.
I have been dipping for far longer than I care to admit (30 out of the last 31 years). I quit for over a year 8 years ago, but caved. If I had known about this site and had these kinds of resources I think I would have been able to get the help I needed then to stay quit. I'm glad that I've found it now and will be on here daily checking in, encouraging others, and looking for help when I need it. I have been trying to read and research through the fog and the moods and the lack of focus over the past couple days and have already found incredible stories and have seen how supportive everyone is of each other. It's amazing how dead accurate the list of symptoms is for me so far, and I appreciate that as a resource to know what to expect in the future.
I joined my quit group and added my name to roll call. Thank you to everyone that has encouraged me so far!!!
Today has been my best day so far, but I can feel the "fog" rolling in. Hopefully it didn't cause me to ramble too much!
With that simple intro post I showed up here at KTC like most everyone else before me. A FAILURE and an ADDICT.
What? Does that sound harsh? I had tried to quit repeatedly over the course of those 31 years and had FAILED. I stopped for a year and a half or so (notice the word "stopped" instead of "quit" or "Quit", there is a difference) during that time (pre-KTC) and had CAVED (a word I didn't know at the time) and FAILED. As Quitters go, I was a FAILURE. Let's be honest, everyone that posts a Day 1 here has been a FAILURE at QUITTING. So, what's different for me now??? KTC.
When I first showed up on the KTC scene, I had a number of "vets" reach out to me. I'm gonna kick myself in the ass if I miss any, but INKcogKNEEdough, FISHFLORIDA, and JeffW were the first three to welcome me. I didn't know it at the time (how could I???) but those are some badass quitters to have welcome you to the site!!! They all sent me their digits, I sent them mine. We started texting a little. They made me promise to send my day # every day in addition to posting roll. Fish made me promise to do it every single day until I made HOF (and still won't let me stop now that I'm here). I have texted all three of them (whether they wanted it or not) every day since. Scratch that, I think I may have missed one or two days out of those first hundred, but I have NEVER missed a roll post.
One thing I learned early in my quit is that I'm not special, and neither are you. I spent a LOT of time that first week (and since) pouring through the info here on KTC, particularly the what to expect stuff found here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp) and here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/symptoms.asp). Anyone that says they don't go through those things at roughly the same times is full of crap. The DEGREE to which you experience it may vary, but you will go through it. Why does that matter? Because KTC separates Quitters by Quit date into Quit groups so that our brothers and sisters are experiencing the same things we are, at around the same times, so we can support each other and help each other through it. We rage together. We fog together. We funk together. We hit HOF together. We bond over this addiction and what it takes to Quit it.
I am a proud card carrying member of the January '18 F.U.R.Y., and if you don't know what that is (or it doesn't scare the ever loving crap out of you) I very, VERY highly suggest catching up with us here (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30350913/1/). These crazy bad ass quitters have been by my side from the day I got here and there is no way I'd be writing this speech if it hadn't been for them. Everyone thinks their own particular group is the best. I know mine is. I exchanged digits with as many of them as I could (not quite all, but most). JTL and Donewithit share my quit date and we hit HOF together. A few more "vets" reached out and I reached out to them and others. My daily text list grew to over 45 people. I don't send group texts so it takes a minute or two every morning, but it gives me that much more accountability. My Quit is that much stronger. I watched my brothers and sisters rage (because I never did myself), watched our group expand and contract as people joined and people caved, and formed bonds I never knew possible with a bunch of "internet strangers" all because of our addiction to this horrible bitch called nicotine. I turned as many of these people as I could into "text friends" and "online friends" rather than "internet strangers". Ultimately I was able to even meet up with one (Montovon) when he was on my turf for business.
Of all of my F.U.R.Y. brothers and sisters I have to admit I'm probably closest to CNC, Dog, Probe, Brick, and Kyle. These five guys have caught all of my crap almost since the beginning, and I'm here for theirs. I very honestly owe a LOT of my Quit to them. Why? Because they are not internet strangers to me, they are brothers. I know that if I am struggling, they are going to be there to kick me in the ass and keep me Quit. How do I know that? They've proven it! I was headed to work one morning (and hadn't posted or texted anyone yet - shame, shame) and needed gas. Right about the time I was pulling in I had a HUGE crave, so I sent them all texts. Before I stopped at the pump 3 or 4 of the 5 had replied, at 5:00am or so my time (so around 7:00am their time). "Be strong", "You've got this", I honestly don't remember exactly what was said but it was along those lines. Crisis averted. Quit saved. Every single one of them replied, some faster than others.
If I can offer one single piece of advice to new quitters it's this: Reach out. Send your contact information to as many people as you can, both in your group as well as outside of it. PM me, I'll give you mine. Don't stop there though. That's not good enough. Text them. Make it a point to call them at least a couple of times here and there. Meet them if you possibly can. Why? Because posting roll isn't always enough. Because texting someone here and there isn't always enough. If you can turn people into friends the same way that I have you simply CANNOT fail to QUIT. They won't let you.
I posted this story into my intro a while back. I re-read it periodically because I think it demonstrates the difference between KTC and most other things I've tried in the past.
An addict fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The addict called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him to buy a ladder, but the addict could not find a ladder in this hole he was in. A doctor walked by. The addict said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him some drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The addict said thanks, but when the pills ran out he was still in the hole. A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the addict's cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get in there? Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the addict talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The addict thanked him, but was still in his hole. A priest came by and heard the addict calling for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said, "I'll pray for you." The priest got down on his knees and prayed for the addict, then left. The addict was very grateful and he read the whole Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole. A recovering addict happened to be passing by. The addict cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering addict jumped in the hole with him. The addict said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here!" But the recovering addict said, "It's okay. I've been here before. I know the way out."
- Anonymous
I am a recovering addict. I will never be cured. 100 days is freaking awesome and I'm proud of it, but my journey isn't over. I promise you this: If you drink the KTC Kool-Aid, if you do everything you can to listen and learn and turn these random internet strangers into your friends, you will not fail. You will Quit. You will be QUIT. If you don't have enough people down in the hole with you, reach out to me. I'll jump in. I know the way out, or at least the beginning of the path. We'll figure out the rest together.
SRains918 (Steve)
Proud Member of the January '18 F.U.R.Y.
106 Days Quit And Counting (As of writing this)
-
Day 113
Whelp, I'm a dumbass.
No, I didn't cave...
I ignored myself. I ignored one of the things I constantly say and try to remind people. I forgot something I wrote in my fucking HOF speech (posted above so I can find it easily) a week or so ago.
One thing I learned early in my quit is that I'm not special, and neither are you. I spent a LOT of time that first week (and since) pouring through the info here on KTC, particularly the what to expect stuff found here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp) and here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/symptoms.asp). Anyone that says they don't go through those things at roughly the same times is full of crap. The DEGREE to which you experience it may vary, but you will go through it.
Welcome to my post-HOF funk!!! It's real folks...
The last few days I've wondered to varying degrees why the hell I'm still here and posting like I do.
Roll? Yeah, I'm going to keep doing that. I know it's important.
Support? Yeah, I'll keep posting below the line in the 2018 groups. I know that's important too.
Beyond that? No thanks. I'm done. Done with the drama. Done with watching everyone fog and rage and post ridiculous crap and fight over stupid shit. DONE!!!
Bullshit. That's what that is. It's the nic bitch picking at a small chink in my quit armor. It's that post-HOF fog that everyone (else???) goes through (but surely not ME)!!! Fuck that. That's bullshit.
I'm not through it yet. I'm still in the middle of it. I don't want to forget it though, so here I am in my intro posting about it. I recognize it so that must be good, right?
I WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOO!!!
-
Day 113
Whelp, I'm a dumbass.
No, I didn't cave...
I ignored myself. I ignored one of the things I constantly say and try to remind people. I forgot something I wrote in my fucking HOF speech (posted above so I can find it easily) a week or so ago.
One thing I learned early in my quit is that I'm not special, and neither are you. I spent a LOT of time that first week (and since) pouring through the info here on KTC, particularly the what to expect stuff found here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp) and here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/symptoms.asp). Anyone that says they don't go through those things at roughly the same times is full of crap. The DEGREE to which you experience it may vary, but you will go through it.
Welcome to my post-HOF funk!!! It's real folks...
The last few days I've wondered to varying degrees why the hell I'm still here and posting like I do.
Roll? Yeah, I'm going to keep doing that. I know it's important.
Support? Yeah, I'll keep posting below the line in the 2018 groups. I know that's important too.
Beyond that? No thanks. I'm done. Done with the drama. Done with watching everyone fog and rage and post ridiculous crap and fight over stupid shit. DONE!!!
Bullshit. That's what that is. It's the nic bitch picking at a small chink in my quit armor. It's that post-HOF fog that everyone (else???) goes through (but surely not ME)!!! Fuck that. That's bullshit.
I'm not through it yet. I'm still in the middle of it. I don't want to forget it though, so here I am in my intro posting about it. I recognize it so that must be good, right?
I WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOO!!!
Recognizing you are in a funk is huge... gives you strength to battle and awareness that you CAN win.
Mental health rest is a courageous effort to heal.
IQWYT
-
Day 137 - QLF ODAAT
Had a great meetup with Gottadoit and Skol on Friday night. Skol and I had been talking about a get together. Skol and Gottadoit had been talking about getting together. Then we all figured out we live 10-15 minutes apart. Didn't take much in the way of planning to meet Friday night over a few beers.
Still interested in putting together something for the local quitters (already posted in the meetup section). I know there's at least one more in Mesa, Jesse up in Flag, and John down in the Tucson area.
Meeting other quitters has been another nail in the nic bitches coffin for me. With that kind of accountability how can I possibly fail???
-
'nutkick'January Great Balls of F.U.R.Y.'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Saturday, February 24, 2018
100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=0) A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.Y. HOF Speeches
JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new)
SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new)
Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new)
Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/)
DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new)
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure!
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
| | Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end | | Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | | | Probe1957 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139052/) | | | Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | | | JTL (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138062/) | | | Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | | | SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | | | Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | | | CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | | | gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | | | BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | | | Caledonia Jeff (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140832/) | | | zyx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6169445/) | | | bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | | | Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | | | cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | | | kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | | | TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | | | Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | | | emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | | | rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | | | Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | | | Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | | | Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | | | Red1Texan (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6059069/) | | | Kizer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144171/) | | | DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | | | MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | | | Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | | | Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | | | Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | | | 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | | | |
|
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Richard K 699 with Srains, Texas Chief, MattyB and anal Probe
|
-
'nutkick'January Great Balls of F.U.R.Y.'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Saturday, February 24, 2018
100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=0) A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.Y. HOF Speeches
JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new)
SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new)
Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new)
Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/)
DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new)
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure!
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
| | Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end | | Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | | | Probe1957 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139052/) | | | Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | | | JTL (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138062/) | | | Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | | | SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | | | Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | | | CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | | | gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | | | BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | | | Caledonia Jeff (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140832/) | | | zyx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6169445/) | | | bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | | | Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | | | cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | | | kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | | | TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | | | Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | | | emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | | | rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | | | Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | | | Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | | | Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | | | Red1Texan (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6059069/) | | | Kizer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144171/) | | | DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | | | MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | | | Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | | | Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | | | Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | | | 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | | | |
|
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Richard K 699 with Srains, Texas Chief, MattyB and anal Probe
ReWire 785
|
-
Gone.
-
Poof.
-
Delete
-
'nutkick'January Great Balls of F.U.R.Y.'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Sunday, March 4, 2018
100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=0) A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.Y. HOF Speeches
JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new)
SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new)
Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new)
Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new)
Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/)
DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new)
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure!
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
| | Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end | | Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | | | Probe1957 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139052/) | | | Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | | | JTL (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138062/) | | | Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | | | SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | | | Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | | | CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | | | gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | | | BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | | | Caledonia Jeff (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140832/) | | | zyx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6169445/) | | | bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | | | Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | | | cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | | | kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | | | TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | | | Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | | | emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | | | rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | | | Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | | | Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | | | Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | | | Red1Texan (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6059069/) | | | Kizer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144171/) | | | DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | | | MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | | | Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | | | Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | | | Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | | | 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | | | |
|
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
|
-
'nutkick'January Great Balls of F.U.R.Y.'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Monday, march 4, 2018
100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=0) A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.Y. HOF Speeches
JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new)
SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new)
Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new)
Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new)
TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new)
Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/)
DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new)
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure!
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
| | Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end | | Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | | | Probe1957 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139052/) | | | Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | | | JTL (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138062/) | | | Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | | | SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | | | Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | | | CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | | | gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | | | BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | | | Caledonia Jeff (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140832/) | | | zyx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6169445/) | | | bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | | | Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | | | cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | | | kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | | | TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | | | Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | | | emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | | | rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | | | Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | | | Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | | | Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | | | Red1Texan (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6059069/) | | | Kizer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144171/) | | | DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | | | MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | | | Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | | | Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | | | Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | | | 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | | | |
|
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
INKcogKNEEdough 1,245 with srains,blumanchew,jiffy,josh,bigrick,kyle, and wtf
|
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Day 158
I don't have anything terribly exciting to say...
I do think it's funny as FUCK that this is going to confuse the crap out of people someday...
I have an intro. I have a roll template. I have a HOF speech. I have some of my rants and raves. I have people posting roll into my intro...
roflmao
This is my own personal junk drawer within KTC. Enjoy!
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'nutkick'January Great Balls of F.U.R.Y.'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Thursday, March 08, 2018
100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=0) A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.Y. HOF Speeches
JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new)
SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new)
Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new)
Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new)
TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new)
Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/)
DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new)
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure!
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
| | Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end | | Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | | | Probe1957 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139052/) | | | Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | | | JTL (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138062/) | | | Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | | | SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | | | Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | | | CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | | | gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | | | BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | | | Caledonia Jeff (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140832/) | | | zyx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6169445/) | | | bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | | | Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | 148 NDT | | cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | | | kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | | | TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | | | Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | | | emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | | | rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | | | Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | | | Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | | | Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | | | Red1Texan (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6059069/) | | | Kizer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144171/) | | | DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | | | MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | | | Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | | | Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | | | Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | | | 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | | | |
|
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
|
-
'nutkick'January Great Balls of F.U.R.Y.'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Thursday, April 12, 2018
100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=0) A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.Y. HOF Speeches
JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new)
SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new)
Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new)
Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new)
TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new)
Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new)
Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/)
DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new)
MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new)
Lancer101 - 2nd Floor!
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure!
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
| | Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end | | Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | Day 201. First day of the rest of my life part 3. | | Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | | | Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | | | SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | | | Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | | | CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | | | gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | | | BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | | | Caledonia Jeff (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140832/) | | | bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | | | Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | | | cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | | | kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | | | TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | | | Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | | | emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | | | rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | | | Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | | | Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | | | Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | | | Red1Texan (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6059069/) | | | Kizer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144171/) | | | DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | | | MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | | | Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | | | Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | | | Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | | | 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | | | |
|
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
|
-
Congrats on that 200 days quit !!
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Fishflorida-694- quit with Srains in his intro because it seems like the cool thing to do...
Congrats on 200 Amigo.
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'nutkick'January Great Balls of F.U.R.Y.'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=0) A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.Y. HOF Speeches
JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new)
SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new)
Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new)
Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new)
TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new)
Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new)
Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/)
DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new)
MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new)
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure!
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
| | Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end | | Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | | | Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | | | Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | | | SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | | | Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | | | CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | | | gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | | | BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | | | Caledonia Jeff (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140832/) | | | bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | | | Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | | | cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | | | kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | | | TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | | | Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | | | emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | | | rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | | | Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | | | Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | | | Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | | | Red1Texan (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6059069/) | | | Kizer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144171/) | | | DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | | | MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | | | Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | | | Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | | | Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | | | 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | day 281 and I quit again today with the Fury, only 3 days to go and you are all on board at the second floor. Keep on keepin on you beautiful quitters. I also wanted to mention that a couple of your original members let me know in the last couple weeks that they were still quit, had reached the second floor and were in good spirits in their new community. A late congrats to Jim and Dan | | |
|
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
|
-
oops
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'nutkick'January Great Balls of F.U.R.Y.'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Saturday, April 14, 2018
100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=0) A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.Y. HOF Speeches
JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new)
SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new)
Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new)
Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new)
TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new)
Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new)
Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/)
DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new)
MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new)
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure!
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
| | Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end | | Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | | | Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | | | Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | | | SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | | | Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | | | CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | | | gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | | | BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | | | Caledonia Jeff (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140832/) | | | bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | | | Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | | | cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | | | kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | | | TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | | | Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | | | emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | | | rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | | | Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | | | Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | | | Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | | | Red1Texan (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6059069/) | | | Kizer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144171/) | | | DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | | | MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | | | Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | | | Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | | | Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | | | 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | | | |
|
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
|
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230 Days - Damn...
I think I mentioned a while back that I wasn't using this thread like I expected to. My initial plan was to document the crap out of my quit journey so I didn't forget anything. A funny thing happened on the way to doing that though - I realized it wasn't as important to me as I thought.
My quit journey has been interesting to say the least. My quit group was a shit show for a long time. It's funny I didn't recognize it as much when I was in the middle of it, but watching May '18 go through so damn much of the same things we did it really hit home for me. Don't get me wrong, I miss the fuck out of Dan, Jim, and Billy. I feel awful that I lost contact with them after they were banned. A lot of that had to do with the time required for me to conduct. A lot of it had to do with my being in the middle of making a playoff push for my final HS soccer season as a coach. Neither of those things are acceptable excuses. I miss the fuck out of my brothers and understand why some of those guys in May don't want to let go.
So, I've spent a lot of time thinking about trying to reconnect with those guys. Someone started a GroupMe and I jumped right in because I wanted to catch up. That turned into a fucking nightmare though. Too many of the wrong people there and it basically turned into an ambush on those guys. Maybe it was exactly what it was supposed to be but I was too naive to realize it going in (I don't believe that, but have to admit it's possible). Either way, I'm pretty sure that killed off any remaining hope I had to talk to them. I can't reach out now... Crap, one of the posts I saw before I bailed on the group was "Why the fuck would we want to reconnect?". That hurt, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that it was said.
This didn't come close to hurting my quit. I feel like that's strong enough to withstand quite a bit at this point. I almost walked away from KTC though. I was going through a schedule change at work anyway, so I kinda thought "why the fuck not?". I wouldn't say that I was pissed about the group fiasco, but it was definitely discouraging. Many of those people are the same people I post with on here, and I just couldn't justify being a part of that any longer. I haven't done much other than PG for a week. For several days I only posted roll in Jan '18 and March '18 instead of the 17-18 groups I try to hit. I've started getting all the 2018 groups again. I did today at least. And Oct '11. I feel like I owe a lot of my quit to Scott, especially in times like these when I am thinking of walking away. His words always have a way of bringing me back (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30478355/1/#new).
I'm sharing this here for those that think everything becomes all roses at some point. Life still happens. At 230 days I still get discouraged about things here (or offline) and think about walking away. The important thing is that I still know, even on my toughest days, that would be a mistake.
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Ya know, you just never know who's watching. There are seeds we plant whose fruit we will never know. Know that you watered my tree. Because of that I've been able to go on and tend to others. Thank-you for being a presence of stability and consistency
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Ya know, you just never know who's watching. There are seeds we plant whose fruit we will never know. Know that you watered my tree. Because of that I've been able to go on and tend to others. Thank-you for being a presence of stability and consistency
I can't second this enough brother. You've kept my quit strong, we don't talk enough but thats also cause I'm shit at texting. But you have helped me in my quit and I hope that I can one day return the favor and you can't leave this site, there's gonna be another newbie in the future you're gonna need to talk back from that ledge. You can't help everyone. I've washed my hands of a lot of people on here as sad as that is. But every minute I spend chasing down someone who isn't going to appreciate or use the help is a minute I'm not spending helping someone that actually needs the help and will actually listen to me.
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Ya know, you just never know who's watching. There are seeds we plant whose fruit we will never know. Know that you watered my tree. Because of that I've been able to go on and tend to others. Thank-you for being a presence of stability and consistency
I can't second this enough brother. You've kept my quit strong, we don't talk enough but thats also cause I'm shit at texting. But you have helped me in my quit and I hope that I can one day return the favor and you can't leave this site, there's gonna be another newbie in the future you're gonna need to talk back from that ledge. You can't help everyone. I've washed my hands of a lot of people on here as sad as that is. But every minute I spend chasing down someone who isn't going to appreciate or use the help is a minute I'm not spending helping someone that actually needs the help and will actually listen to me.
Wow...
Thank you gentlemen. I mean that sincerely.
I am ok. I'm not going anywhere. I promise. That post was simply my thoughts on a period over the course of the last week or so that were difficult for me personally. It was a reflection on the fact that I contemplated doing something that I ultimately realized (and knew all along) would be a mistake.
You're all stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere.
-
poof
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'nutkick'January Great Balls of F.U.R.Y.'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=379329706) A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.Y. HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
| | Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end | | Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | | | Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | | | Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | | | SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | | | Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | | | RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | | | CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | | | gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | | | BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | | | bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | | | Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | | | cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | | | TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | | | Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | | | emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | | | rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | | | Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | | | Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | | | Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 | | DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | | | MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | | | Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | | | Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | | | Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | | | 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | | | |
|
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
|
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
You know Broc, if you came out to visit Vegas is a pretty short road trip away!!!
Holy crap, that's almost scary to even think about...
EDIT - And I'm proud AF to be quit (and more) with you! You make me laugh and keep me on my toes and I'm happy to admit anywhere but online that we've become great friends...
Shit...
Oh well... I'll leave it... (Don't tell anyone)
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
You know Broc, if you came out to visit Vegas is a pretty short road trip away!!!
Holy crap, that's almost scary to even think about...
EDIT - And I'm proud AF to be quit (and more) with you! You make me laugh and keep me on my toes and I'm happy to admit anywhere but online that we've become great friends...
Shit...
Oh well... I'll leave it... (Don't tell anyone)
I've never been to Vegas. Is there anything to do there for a guy like me?
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
You know Broc, if you came out to visit Vegas is a pretty short road trip away!!!
Holy crap, that's almost scary to even think about...
EDIT - And I'm proud AF to be quit (and more) with you! You make me laugh and keep me on my toes and I'm happy to admit anywhere but online that we've become great friends...
Shit...
Oh well... I'll leave it... (Don't tell anyone)
I've never been to Vegas. Is there anything to do there for a guy like me?
I'm sure we'll come up with something... roflmao
Better bring bail money...
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
You know Broc, if you came out to visit Vegas is a pretty short road trip away!!!
Holy crap, that's almost scary to even think about...
EDIT - And I'm proud AF to be quit (and more) with you! You make me laugh and keep me on my toes and I'm happy to admit anywhere but online that we've become great friends...
Shit...
Oh well... I'll leave it... (Don't tell anyone)
I've never been to Vegas. Is there anything to do there for a guy like me?
I'm sure we'll come up with something... roflmao
Better bring bail money...
Good plan
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
You know Broc, if you came out to visit Vegas is a pretty short road trip away!!!
Holy crap, that's almost scary to even think about...
EDIT - And I'm proud AF to be quit (and more) with you! You make me laugh and keep me on my toes and I'm happy to admit anywhere but online that we've become great friends...
Shit...
Oh well... I'll leave it... (Don't tell anyone)
I've never been to Vegas. Is there anything to do there for a guy like me?
I'm sure we'll come up with something... roflmao
Better bring bail money...
Good plan
Pretty sure you cannot bail yourself out, unless you have the full amount. Or so I have been told
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
You know Broc, if you came out to visit Vegas is a pretty short road trip away!!!
Holy crap, that's almost scary to even think about...
EDIT - And I'm proud AF to be quit (and more) with you! You make me laugh and keep me on my toes and I'm happy to admit anywhere but online that we've become great friends...
Shit...
Oh well... I'll leave it... (Don't tell anyone)
I've never been to Vegas. Is there anything to do there for a guy like me?
I'm sure we'll come up with something... roflmao
Better bring bail money...
Good plan
Pretty sure you cannot bail yourself out, unless you have the full amount. Or so I have been told
If itÂ’s a Vegas trip IÂ’m in, but I am flying, no shitty road trip.... cuz IÂ’m a [sizebig]BALLA[/size]
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
You know Broc, if you came out to visit Vegas is a pretty short road trip away!!!
Holy crap, that's almost scary to even think about...
EDIT - And I'm proud AF to be quit (and more) with you! You make me laugh and keep me on my toes and I'm happy to admit anywhere but online that we've become great friends...
Shit...
Oh well... I'll leave it... (Don't tell anyone)
I've never been to Vegas. Is there anything to do there for a guy like me?
I'm sure we'll come up with something... roflmao
Better bring bail money...
Good plan
Pretty sure you cannot bail yourself out, unless you have the full amount. Or so I have been told
If itÂ’s a Vegas trip IÂ’m in, but I am flying, no shitty road trip.... cuz IÂ’m a [sizebig]BALLA[/size]
Why didnÂ’t that work?
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
You know Broc, if you came out to visit Vegas is a pretty short road trip away!!!
Holy crap, that's almost scary to even think about...
EDIT - And I'm proud AF to be quit (and more) with you! You make me laugh and keep me on my toes and I'm happy to admit anywhere but online that we've become great friends...
Shit...
Oh well... I'll leave it... (Don't tell anyone)
I've never been to Vegas. Is there anything to do there for a guy like me?
I'm sure we'll come up with something... roflmao
Better bring bail money...
Good plan
Pretty sure you cannot bail yourself out, unless you have the full amount. Or so I have been told
If itÂ’s a Vegas trip IÂ’m in, but I am flying, no shitty road trip.... cuz IÂ’m a [sizebig]BALLA[/size]
Why didnÂ’t that work?
Kids these days...
ItÂ’s [big] [/big]
Look up, it should be right there beside the smaller button. ?
-
poof
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
You know Broc, if you came out to visit Vegas is a pretty short road trip away!!!
Holy crap, that's almost scary to even think about...
EDIT - And I'm proud AF to be quit (and more) with you! You make me laugh and keep me on my toes and I'm happy to admit anywhere but online that we've become great friends...
Shit...
Oh well... I'll leave it... (Don't tell anyone)
I've never been to Vegas. Is there anything to do there for a guy like me?
I'm sure we'll come up with something... roflmao
Better bring bail money...
Good plan
Pretty sure you cannot bail yourself out, unless you have the full amount. Or so I have been told
If itÂ’s a Vegas trip IÂ’m in, but I am flying, no shitty road trip.... cuz IÂ’m a [sizebig]BALLA[/size]
Why didnÂ’t that work?
Kids these days...
ItÂ’s [big] [/big]
Look up, it should be right there beside the smaller button. ?
Brocc...you going to come clean?
It is because of Brocc we can't have nice things. Well, big things, anyway....
-
'nutkick'January Great F.U.R.R.Y. Balls'nutkick'
We've got the hairiest balls of them all. It's like Chewbacca down there!
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7D3JE0xuzQ) A clean version of roll can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBYDYKQnkgA)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.R.Y. shriveled nuts HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Furry | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion |
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 231 |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
[/td][/tr][/table]| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Broc 368 with Srains. Dude, you are one badass quitter and I'm super proud of the man you are. Glad we've grown to be the friends that we are, and I love this little weird intro format. You rock brotha.
|
You know Broc, if you came out to visit Vegas is a pretty short road trip away!!!
Holy crap, that's almost scary to even think about...
EDIT - And I'm proud AF to be quit (and more) with you! You make me laugh and keep me on my toes and I'm happy to admit anywhere but online that we've become great friends...
Shit...
Oh well... I'll leave it... (Don't tell anyone)
I've never been to Vegas. Is there anything to do there for a guy like me?
I'm sure we'll come up with something... roflmao
Better bring bail money...
Good plan
Pretty sure you cannot bail yourself out, unless you have the full amount. Or so I have been told
If itÂ’s a Vegas trip IÂ’m in, but I am flying, no shitty road trip.... cuz IÂ’m a [sizebig]BALLA[/size]
Why didnÂ’t that work?
Kids these days...
ItÂ’s [big] [/big]
Look up, it should be right there beside the smaller button. ?
Brocc...you going to come clean?
It is because of Brocc we can't have nice things. Well, big things, anyway....
Oh we (F.U.R.Y.) know. He broke the big button WHILE he was screwing with us.
Bastard.
roflmao
-
I posted this in a couple of the groups, but wanted it preserved here too...
Here I am at 279. Tomorrow is 40 weeks. I could have gotten pregnant the day I quit and the baby would be due tomorrow, and how's THAT for a beautiful mental image... The point is, it's been a while since I quit.
I was off Monday and my GF had some running around to do. My first thought was "Great, I'll have time to myself so I can..." and then I stopped myself. 279 days in and one of my first thoughts about having a little "alone" time was that I could throw a dip in and have peace and quiet while I watched the soccer game. I wasn't craving. I don't have and won't buy dip and no one in the house consumes nicotine in any form. I'm not (currently) in any danger of caving. It's just that the nic bitch has been so embedded into my every day life that those thoughts STILL pop up on their own from time to time because that's what my life used to revolve around.
Crazy...
-
I posted this in a couple of the groups, but wanted it preserved here too...
Here I am at 279. Tomorrow is 40 weeks. I could have gotten pregnant the day I quit and the baby would be due tomorrow, and how's THAT for a beautiful mental image... The point is, it's been a while since I quit.
I was off Monday and my GF had some running around to do. My first thought was "Great, I'll have time to myself so I can..." and then I stopped myself. 279 days in and one of my first thoughts about having a little "alone" time was that I could throw a dip in and have peace and quiet while I watched the soccer game. I wasn't craving. I don't have and won't buy dip and no one in the house consumes nicotine in any form. I'm not (currently) in any danger of caving. It's just that the nic bitch has been so embedded into my every day life that those thoughts STILL pop up on their own from time to time because that's what my life used to revolve around.
Crazy...
Those little reminders of you winning should be savored. They ensure that you wonÂ’t forget the path you traveled to get to where you are. Freedom.
Happy Independence Day bro. ??????
-
Sent this message to someone and posted in a couple of the newer groups, but wanted to preserve it here in my intro as well.
**********************************************************************************************
Name Witheld,
I haven't mentioned this to anyone and I won't. I did read it back when you wrote it, but was on my phone and didn't want to reply from there (it's a little tougher when you have a lot you want to say). By the time I did log on to my laptop (I tried to stay off my PC while I was on vacation), I decided to let it stew a little more so I could put some real thought into it and NOT react or reply emotionally. I am going to post this (with anything that might identify you removed first) in some of the newer groups though because now that I've started replying I think it can potentially help some of the newer quitters.
I knew why you left. You didn't have to say it. You can't say "It wasn't the addict mind" and "The nicotine isn't what keeps me going back" without at least acknowledging that these things both come from the dreaded "Addict-speak" we hear so much about and come to hate. You wanted to dip. You planned to cave. You left. End of story.
The fact of the matter is that nicotine is every bit as addictive and difficult to quit as heroin. Let that sink in for just a minute... All of the health risks associated with use aside, this shit is every bit as hard to quit as FUCKING HEROIN!!! They'll strap your ass down and give you other drugs for quitting that addiction cold turkey when you try to quit though. Nicotine is freaking legal, so quitting is up to you and you're pretty much on your own.
That's one of the reasons we're all such assholes as we quit, and the root of why we all go through the same things at approximately the same times in our quits. The chemicals in tobacco, much much worse and more concentrated in dip and delivered directly into your bloodstream through your mouth, quickly wire your brain in such a way that you associate pretty much everything positive with that nicotine fix and most things negative with the absence of that fix. It takes weeks or months to form these connections initially, they grow stronger the longer you dip (or smoke), and then it literally takes YEARS to overcome this and re-wire yourself when you quit.
I know quite a few people that have quit smoking. I don't know a single person that has successfully quit dip, outside the people that I know through KTC. Their stories. The things the people before me have gone through. The struggles. The wins. The things that work (for them). The things that don't. Seeing people posting daily with over 1K days quit. These are the things that have helped me so far. These are the things (in some cases) that have scared the shit out of me and kept me posting daily. I'm not a kid. My kids are grown. The time (31 years or so) I spent playing Russian Roulette with tobacco will be in the back of my mind for the rest of my life. Did I wait too long? I can't and won't ever know the answer to that unless something obvious happens in the near future. What I do know is that the best thing to do is to never, ever, EVER fucking start. The next best thing? Quit as early as possible, suffer through the withdrawal, and minimize the amount of time you spend poisoning your heart (or lungs, or mouth, or throat, or stomach, or colon). Today is the newest best day to quit.
I know you believe that "I know myself and I know this isn't a nicotine addiction talking", but that's exactly what that nic bitch wants you to believe. You will not be able to quit until you realize and understand that. When you're ready, truly ready to quit and be quit please let me know. I will be here to support you every step of the way, but you're going to have to answer those dreaded questions first and make a real commitment to quit... YOU can do this. You can quit. KTC can help if you'll drink the kool-aid and do all the right things...
Best of luck!
Steve
**********************************************************************************************
-
'nutkick'January Great Balls of F.U.R.Y.'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=379329706) A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Notes Milestones |
F.U.R.Y. HOF Speeches
| JTL HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30468236/1/#new) | SRains918 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30463136/1/#new) | Kylejw27 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30475996/1/#new) | | Brick's HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30512705/1/#new) | TPutney HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30515112/1/#new) | Texas Chief HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30523429/1/#new) | | Currecp HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30489805/1/) | DiscoVietnam25 HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30485270/1/#new) | MattyB HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30529617/1/#new) | |
You can find the full (combined) current narrative here for part 1 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12051933&t=30362406) and here for part 2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=12060114&t=30362406) for your viewing pleasure! | Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls | | Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
| | Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end | | Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | | | Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | | | Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | | | SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | | | Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | | | RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | | | CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | | | gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | | | BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | | | bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | | | Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | | | cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | | | Kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | | | TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | | | Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | | | emoney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6143178/) | | | rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | | | Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | | | Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | | | Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | 259 | | DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | | | MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | | | Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | | | Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | | | Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | | | 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | | | |
|
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
|
-
Everything I've done up to this
point in my life has led me to
where I am today; and I'm pretty
fucking happy about it. All of my
decisions, both good and bad, got
me here. I regret nothing.
Author Unknown
-
291 Days
Dear Intro,
I've had a few weird days from time to time over the last couple of weeks. Not craves per se, more like "You can have just one, it'll help you with..." and then I quickly come to my senses. I know there isn't ANYTHING that dip can do to "help" with anything. I've jumped off that bridge before (as I've mentioned here and there throughout the site) and learned my lesson... No chance of a cave during that time, it was just a bit odd so I threw it in here because I know it's not just me...
Quite honestly, things are fan-fucking-tastic beyond that. Craves are few and far between. I'm not as much of an asshole, or at least not as committed to being one, as I was for the first couple hundred. I still have my moments I suppose... Overall, things are GREAT!
Hard to believe third floor is right around the corner... Then a year... Wow...
Finally ran out and bought a scale over the weekend. This fat guy gained another 45 pounds (that I didn't need) over the last 291 days or so quitting dip. Totally my fault, and I think a fair amount of that can also be attributed to not coaching soccer any more as well (I'm walking about a mile and a half to two miles less per day). So, Patty and I ran out and did what many other empty nesters before us have done - we started buying stuff to turn a spare room into a simple home gym. We spent about $75 on Offer-up for an inclining treadmill and an elliptical with a bike attachment. We got rid of my larger desk and filing cabinet and downsized to something that fits a little better at no cost. We got the stereo set up, as well as a TV, to keep ourselves entertained and picked up a ceiling fan that will eventually find it's way into our grandsons room (for now though, it can help keep US cooler). I also cancelled my gym membership that I haven't been using, so the room will pay for itself in a couple of months. That may seem counterproductive (cancelling the gym), but it just pissed me off to see it debited from my account every month and not get used. It's too hot to walk at any point really right now, so I think this will work out perfectly... I'm going to track my food, start meal prepping, and work out at home daily. That's the plan anyway, and I'll post progress here to keep myself accountable.
No time to get cocky or complacent. I know better. I stopped a year and a half on my own before I fell off. That's not gonna happen this time. I won't let it, ODAAT.
-
I just want to take a minute and thank you all. Holy shit. 300. It's hard to believe, and at the same time it's not.
I'm grateful to all of my January brothers and sisters, whether they're still posting with us or not. I'm proud as FUCK to be making this journey with you all, and you've all helped me in one form or another over the course of the last 300 days. THANK YOU!!!
I'm incredibly thankful for all of the "crusty old vets" that have helped me (and put up with my bullshit) along the way. Every single one of you is an example of what's possible for those of us that are following you, as long as we follow that simple formula. WUPPEDD. It works. I see that every day with you all that are still posting at 500, 1000, 2000, and more. My 300 is but a drop in the bucket...
You "newbies" - I want to thank you too. Part of the reason I've made it this far is watching you struggling early in YOUR quits. It helps remind me where I've been, what I don't want to go through again, and how hard this truly is. If you're reading this and thinking about quitting - do it. Now. It's going to SUCK, but once you get through it's incredible!
Thank you all for being a part of my own personal quit journey. There is no f'n way I could do this on my own!!!
On to 400, ODAAFT!!!
-
Congratulations Steve.
You do a lot for KTC, and it doesn't go unnoticed.
Thank you sir!
-
Congrats my brother, you are a huge part of my quit.... now.... and for years to come.
Damn proud of you sir.
-
Steve,
Great work on 300. And I say "work" because I know that's what it is. Although I was there when you started, you've helped to solidify my quit as well, probably more than you know. Get ready for another 300 daily texts.
Dave DBA FISHFLORIDA
-
.
-
'nutkick' January '18 F.U.R.Y. 'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Wednesday , August 1, 2018
'waiting' SSOA - 100% Posting is EXPECTED EACH DAY ASAFP (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=379329706) 'waiting'
A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls |
| Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| Kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
| |
| Support from other Bad Ass Quitters: |
Adam4stomp 236 with MattyB
|
-
poof
-
Snip
-
Getting close to un chartered quit waters.....never been past 7 months in 30 years....222 qlf
-
'nutkick' January '18 F.U.R.Y. 'nutkick'
We've got the biggest balls of them all
Sunday, August 26, 2018
'waiting' SSOA - WUPPEDD!!! (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12BvT-XyMq01xWsmqxBu0cOoc-m4-BEHmcsF67U-sWWQ/edit#gid=379329706) 'waiting'
A clean version of roll can be found here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11943855&t=30362406)
| Ladies and Gentlemen of the The Fury ...We've got big balls |
| Name | Days Quit, Promise, DT discussion
|
| Names are in order by quit date | Find your name and add your promise at the end |
| Lancer101 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140820/) | |
| Snoopy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214241/) | |
| Donewithit83 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6140825/) | |
| SRains918 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6139116/) | |
| Waterman (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138399/) | |
| RickB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6137564/) | |
| CampofEchten (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6138872/) | |
| gatorade (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142482/) | |
| BluManChew (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/4102122/) | |
| bigrick_2u (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141262/) | |
| Texas Chief (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6141699/) | |
| cday 14 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142314/) | |
| Kylejw27 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6142799/) | |
| TPutney (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144241/) | |
| Currecp (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6147226/) | |
| rogerpersson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144113/) | |
| Trainerjesse (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144003/) | |
| Angel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144012/) | |
| Jiffy (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/3975805/) | |
| DiscoVietnam25 (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6144142/) | |
| MattyB (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6158176/) | |
| Wastepanel (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/216523/) | |
| Tonifer (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6015203/) | |
| Swilson (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/6124197/) | |
| 69Franx (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/198395/) | |
Support from other Bad Ass Quitters:
Richard K 882 with texas chief, MattyB and Srains
-
)(%(%_(%_(^*_
'frazz1' 'frazz1' 'frazz1'
-
Day 342
It's been a while since I've posted in here. It's actually kind of ironic considering that I've told at least 4-5 people in the last week to make sure they're posting and documenting stuff into their Intro so they can find it easily later. Even though I haven't done that as steadily as I've liked so far, re-reading it now brought back so many good (and bad) memories and reminders of what I've been through over the last 342 days...
I've been in a bit of a funk for a little while. I get so hardcore for a time (posting in 26 groups and a shitload of texts) and then scale back so much (posting in 4 groups and a handful of texts). I still haven't (and won't) miss roll. I'm not really sure why I'm posting it here now other than to try to explain why I have been going through active and less active periods from time to time. I'll never stray too far...
I've heard from a few people that this is a normal funk time (330-350 day range). I do know that I've noticed that milestones seem to be rough sometimes. Right around 200. Right around 300. I'm expecting another one right around a year and then again around 400. It's a reasonable trade-off though. I poisoned myself for 31+ years. I don't think I get to complain too much about a rough patch here and there, particularly when life has improved so much over the last 342 days. The stretches in between rough spots continue to get longer, and I think that means I'm still headed the right direction.
I don't really have a whole lot else to say at this point. It just seemed like a good opportunity to take the advice I've been giving - "Document it in your intro"
-
Day 342
It's been a while since I've posted in here. It's actually kind of ironic considering that I've told at least 4-5 people in the last week to make sure they're posting and documenting stuff into their Intro so they can find it easily later. Even though I haven't done that as steadily as I've liked so far, re-reading it now brought back so many good (and bad) memories and reminders of what I've been through over the last 342 days...
I've been in a bit of a funk for a little while. I get so hardcore for a time (posting in 26 groups and a shitload of texts) and then scale back so much (posting in 4 groups and a handful of texts). I still haven't (and won't) miss roll. I'm not really sure why I'm posting it here now other than to try to explain why I have been going through active and less active periods from time to time. I'll never stray too far...
I've heard from a few people that this is a normal funk time (330-350 day range). I do know that I've noticed that milestones seem to be rough sometimes. Right around 200. Right around 300. I'm expecting another one right around a year and then again around 400. It's a reasonable trade-off though. I poisoned myself for 31+ years. I don't think I get to complain too much about a rough patch here and there, particularly when life has improved so much over the last 342 days. The stretches in between rough spots continue to get longer, and I think that means I'm still headed the right direction.
I don't really have a whole lot else to say at this point. It just seemed like a good opportunity to take the advice I've been giving - "Document it in your intro"
Right there with you brother.
This all seems so familiar
I would like to post in 22 groups a day (used to be 42, now around 5)
I would like to text all 125 numbers in my phone daily and initiate each text contact (normal now is respond to everyone who sends me a text, as the list has gotten too big)
Like you, I have not missed roll yet and have no intentions of missing any time soon.
My intro was a lot more detailed early on and I sometimes find myself posting there just to have something fresh in there rather than because I had something important to say
Keep doing what you are doing, its obviously working for you and you help a ton of people
I'll quit with you any day brother
Carry On
-
Day 342
It's been a while since I've posted in here. It's actually kind of ironic considering that I've told at least 4-5 people in the last week to make sure they're posting and documenting stuff into their Intro so they can find it easily later. Even though I haven't done that as steadily as I've liked so far, re-reading it now brought back so many good (and bad) memories and reminders of what I've been through over the last 342 days...
I've been in a bit of a funk for a little while. I get so hardcore for a time (posting in 26 groups and a shitload of texts) and then scale back so much (posting in 4 groups and a handful of texts). I still haven't (and won't) miss roll. I'm not really sure why I'm posting it here now other than to try to explain why I have been going through active and less active periods from time to time. I'll never stray too far...
I've heard from a few people that this is a normal funk time (330-350 day range). I do know that I've noticed that milestones seem to be rough sometimes. Right around 200. Right around 300. I'm expecting another one right around a year and then again around 400. It's a reasonable trade-off though. I poisoned myself for 31+ years. I don't think I get to complain too much about a rough patch here and there, particularly when life has improved so much over the last 342 days. The stretches in between rough spots continue to get longer, and I think that means I'm still headed the right direction.
I don't really have a whole lot else to say at this point. It just seemed like a good opportunity to take the advice I've been giving - "Document it in your intro"
Right there with you brother.
This all seems so familiar
I would like to post in 22 groups a day (used to be 42, now around 5)
I would like to text all 125 numbers in my phone daily and initiate each text contact (normal now is respond to everyone who sends me a text, as the list has gotten too big)
Like you, I have not missed roll yet and have no intentions of missing any time soon.
My intro was a lot more detailed early on and I sometimes find myself posting there just to have something fresh in there rather than because I had something important to say
Keep doing what you are doing, its obviously working for you and you help a ton of people
I'll quit with you any day brother
Carry On
I canÂ’t remember if I told you or notÂ…but that first year had many up and downs. The second year was almost all good. I had some moments that tested me but it was easily dealt with since I posted roll. This third year has been awesome. I canÂ’t remember my last real craving or funk.
Post roll each day and whatever time or energy you have is a bonus. DonÂ’t beat yourself up if you canÂ’t be hardcore all the time. I too go in and out of these spells. Nothing wrong with it at all. Take care of yourself first
-
Poof
-
530
Things are just not right...
I can't explain it. I don't know what it is. Other than work being insanely busy (which hasn't changed significantly in quite a while) everything is going reasonably well with my personal and professional life. I'm not craving. I know I'm not cured. I know I'm still an addict (and always will be). I'm just tired. Tired of posting. Tired of being at 100%. Tired of chasing people that should know to post roll at 500+ days. Tired of feeling like I need to keep up this pace. Tired of being an addict. Man I wish I could go back and smack 18 y/o me across the head...
But I can't...
I need to make a change. It's time. I'm tired of being tired...
Now I just need to figure out what to change...
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530
Things are just not right...
I can't explain it. I don't know what it is. Other than work being insanely busy (which hasn't changed significantly in quite a while) everything is going reasonably well with my personal and professional life. I'm not craving. I know I'm not cured. I know I'm still an addict (and always will be). I'm just tired. Tired of posting. Tired of being at 100%. Tired of chasing people that should know to post roll at 500+ days. Tired of feeling like I need to keep up this pace. Tired of being an addict. Man I wish I could go back and smack 18 y/o me across the head...
But I can't...
I need to make a change. It's time. I'm tired of being tired...
Now I just need to figure out what to change...
Man, you hit the nail on the head. I feel the exact same way. Some days it just feels like a fucking chore to get up, post your promise, go post support, check for any moderator stuff we gotta do, text all the your daily texts then go about your day. Other days, I can't wait to post up. Something needs to change though. When you figure out what it is, let me know, kay?
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536 / 1
Things are just not right...
For any newer quitters that stumble their way back here you need to know that things DO get better. Funks continue to come and go and some seem to be worse than others, but overall it's a truly amazing feeling to be free. I have been in a funk. I still am in some ways, but I can feel myself pulling out of it. This one was rough. It didn't just catch me a little off guard - it was incredibly specific. Most everything is going well. I'm not struggling with my quit. Things at work are great (albeit busy). Things at home are fantastic. My sister and her branch of the tree are still struggling (a long story I've already overshared with some so no details here), but I really don't have to deal with that day-to-day so to me it feels like progress on that front.
Nope, this one smacked me right in the one place it could do some real damage if I let it - my KTC participation.
Let's be honest... Every single one of us asks these questions at one time or another - "How long am I going to continue to post roll? Is there a point where I feel like I can comfortably stop posting, but preserve my quit permanently?" These are simple questions, but there are no simple answers. The answers to these questions are going to vary wildly depending on who is answering them. What works for me isn't necessarily going to work for you. What works for you is likely not going to be my first choice.
I am an addict. I am a FUCKING ADDICT! I AM A FUCKING ADDICT!!!
So, let's start with that. What does that even mean? We encourage people to understand the difference between a bad habit (chewing your fingernails) and an addiction (nicotine). We want them to say the words. We want them to attack this with the seriousness and resolve that it requires. This addiction is every bit as powerful as ANY you can possibly have, and the withdrawals are as intense and the recovery as long as any other serious addiction (heroin, etc).
It seems like we focus so much on admitting that "I an addict" that we lose sight of the simplest part of what that means at times - I'm not capable of making a rational split second decision on my own with respect to the substance that I have abused in the past.
That means, to me, that I need to answer the questions I asked earlier in my ramblings this morning with that thought in mind:
How long am I going to continue to post roll? - Today. I am going to post roll today. As an addict I don't get to plan long term. I don't get to say that I can stop posting after 100 days or a year or two or three or any other set period of time. My focus must be to remain nicotine free for today, and today only. After 32 years of stuffing that shit into my face I've given up the right and the ability to be able to do anything other than say I will be quit for today.
Is there a point where I feel like I can comfortably stop posting, but preserve my quit permanently? - The short answer is I don't know. I have made and kept my promise for 536 days. I dipped for roughly 11,680. That's a very sobering thought. I have been "clean" roughly 4.5% as long as I've used. Clearly I can't expect that my recovery is complete at this point. This funk is PROOF that I'm still not "cured". As an addict that has spent more than a few minutes researching addiction and recovery I understand that I will NEVER be cured. Never. Never is a very, very long time from now.
A reminder for me:
I've spent quite a bit of time over the last few days trying to figure out what I want to say and do with respect to all of the things that have gone on recently. To be honest, the biggest reason that I've taken a couple of days off (other than roll and the SSOA) is because I didn't want to say something I didn't mean or without fully considering the implications. I'm STILL not sure I'm prepared to do this, but it needs to be done before it festers into something it shouldn't.
I came here to quit. KTC has for sure helped me with that. Could I have done this on my own? Maybe. I did make it a year and a half on my own without KTC in my distant past. I didn't quit that time though, did I? So, given that I feel "more quit" this time I must need this place, right?
- Or -
Is it the people I've met here along the way that are keeping me quit now? These brothers and sisters that I have posted with day in and day out. Laughed with. Cried with. Raged with. Texted with. Built real relationships with. I never EVER would have expected to make these kinds of connections at an internet "quit site", but I have. Is it possible that now I need the PEOPLE in my quit, and not the SITE itself? And, What if some of those people are no longer here???
The reality is that I know I need both. I can't walk away from KTC at this point in my life. Sure, maybe there's a 99% chance I'm ok without it. Is it worth that 1% to find out? Fuck no! I won't do anything to even remotely risk my quit. I also feel like I owe it to newer quitters to give back. So many people have supported me since the beginning and it wouldn't be right to not pay that forward. So, I'm sticking around as long as I can. I'm sure as fuck not abandoning my brothers either. They may not be able to post here with us, but that doesn't prevent me from texting with them offline and supporting them there.
...
...
Steve
I've been digging through the archives looking for other things I've posted, but that's a good enough reminder for now. I left off the parts of the post that don't really apply here to avoid triggering some...
Now, on to the "1" I posted above...
When I quit dipping 536 days ago it was the culmination of a long decision making process. I was killing myself in multiple ways, and it was a matter of picking one to be rid of first. Nicotine was that choice - I knew that it had to go first. Now, it's time to tackle the other with the same kind of vigor. Today is Day 1 of my "Get healthy" challenge to myself:
Rather than choose one of the "fad" diets (regardless of how well they seem to work for some, like Keto), I've made a decision to simply eat healthier and control portions. I believe that this will, for me, be better long term and will give me the best chance to be successful going forward. At first I'm not even going to count calories. I don't need to. I eat too much. I'm going to eat less. That's good enough to start. I lost 27 pounds (I believe) during the weight loss challenge I participated in here at KTC doing this over the course of a couple of months before I jacked up my back, so I know it will work for me.
The second part of this is to increase my activity level - this I'll need to do in increments. For the first couple of weeks, my plan is to add seven additional miles per week. A mile a day. After that, an additional half mile a day for the next two weeks, and so on: (1) Two weeks at +7, (2) Two weeks at plus 10.5, (3) Two weeks at plus 14, (4) Two weeks at plus 17.5, and (5) Two weeks at plus 21. That means by the end of May I should be adding approximately three miles per day above and beyond what I'm doing daily now.
I'll be reporting my weight loss here every Monday, along with my increase in activity, in order to be accountable to myself and anyone else that wants to help whip me into better shape.
It's time for a change. That's the change. It needs to happen.
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Every day is a day to make you a better you. You can’t do it all in one day either. It takes time but if you make an effort each and every day…you will be successful. Funks come and go. To help with getting out of funks…take time each day to reflect on the things that are good in your life. Enjoy the beauty in nature, the smile coming from your kids, the fact that you are quit!
This is just me…but I never did a diet. Why? They don’t work. Once you end the diet…the pounds come right back. Eat as healthy as you can. Start small. Limit processed foods. Don’t drink soda. Try to exercise daily. Even if you just go for a walk.
You got this…I believe in you.
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543 / 8
Not a fabulous week if I'm honest, but I did get started...
Weight this week is -3.6 lbs. I'm satisfied with that result based on the limited changes made this week.
Overall weight is -3.6lbs (hopefully the only time it matches the line above)
Activity is +2.1 miles vs a goal of +7. Clearly this is unacceptable.
"Excuse of the week" - Work. Since I've been dealing with customers in both Europe and Asia I'm working in three incredibly different time zones right now. I was under pressure to get software released to both, and used that as a bullshit excuse to miss my activity goal. As mentioned above, this is unacceptable.
"What am I going to do differently" - I have committed three times a day to take 10-15 minutes and simply go for a walk. I started this morning before I left the house for work. I'll walk again at lunch, and then again tonight after dinner. It's a simple change, but I know it will make a comparatively large impact in the beginning. Given that I recognize that this needs to be a lifestyle change 45 minutes per day is a very reasonable amount of time to commit.
A huge thank you to everyone that has reached out so far. I'm happy to take you all up on your offers to kick me in the ass along the way and provide additional accountability!
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550 / 15
Weight this week is -0.8 lbs. Was at -3.0 Friday morning but gave a couple back over the weekend
Overall weight is -4.4 lbs in two weeks
Activity is +4.6 miles this week vs a goal of +7, but that was also as of Friday.
"Excuse of the week" - Back pain. I was actually doing pretty well overall last week and on track to make my goals as of Friday, but manage to jack up my back again and forced myself to rest it over the weekend. Took short walks in the morning, but that was it - well under what I was hoping to accomplish through the weekend. Feeling much better this morning and did walk before work, but it was significantly abbreviated.
"What am I going to do differently" - One of the reasons I had originally set goals that stepped up fairly slowly is that I was concerned about how my back will hold up with the extra impact (it's been trouble for me in the past). Thursday evening I could feel it when I walked, but by Friday every step was painful. I'm going to shift at least some of the activity to the elliptical and bike in order to minimize impact, but continue with (slightly shorter) walks in order to build up that stamina. Time to start researching ways to begin increasing that core strength so that I'm actually CAPABLE of meeting my goals going forward. Having not spent a lot of time our machine I'm not sure what kind of goals to set with it yet. I'll hammer those out this week...
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550
Eighteen months ago I made a decision that I had been putting off far too long - I decided to quit dipping...
As I later learned I was a pretty typical addict entering recovery:- I wasn't an addict, I just had a really bad habit
- I was not in control - nicotine was
- My habit (addiction) had caused serious issues with my personal life and relationships
- I was a liar
- I hid my habit (addiction) from some - I was ashamed of it
- My habit (addiction) cost me memories and time with my son in particular that I cannot ever get back. EVER.
- I really did want to quit, for the first time in my life, just for me
It took me a few days, but I got signed up here on KTC and posted roll and started my intro. Habit, habit, habit, bullshit. I finally learned that I was an addict and not just trying to break a really difficult habit. Having not been through any other recovery programs I honestly had no idea what to expect. Concepts like "WUPP" and "EDD" and "ODAAT" were foreign to me. They really didn't have meaning. The idea that I could make a promise on some website to be quit for the day seemed pretty childish and ridiculous, but at that point I didn't really have much to lose. It became evident pretty quickly that there was a bit more to it than that. Folks reached out. Some had been quit for significant time periods. Something about seeing those incredible day counts posting support was inspiring. They did it, why not me?
The first eighteen months really have been pretty easy - not because I didn't experience the things we all do when we quit. I raged as hard as anyone (and more than most). My funks have been incredibly shitty because I incorporate some of my other issues into them as well (mild depression and anxiety), which tend to make them hard to climb out of. I've had all of the signs and symptoms of a recovering nicotine addict along the way, so the process of quitting itself hasn't been easy. I've had incredible support along the way. The resources available on the site for anyone and everyone to read are incredibly helpful and have also made this a bit easier (just knowing what was coming was a huge help to me). Ultimately, more than anything else, what motivated me over those first 547 days was the underlying knowledge that I'd done it before. I had stopped on my own for approximately a year and a half without this website. I knew I was capable of doing this. I'd done it once. Clearly, having all this extra support was going to make it just that much easier to get to this point. I used my previous failure after this amount of time to help drive my success: I couldn't get complacent and fade. I wasn't going to walk away at any point. I knew I'd made it here before, and then given up when shit hit the fan and life sucked.
I am now in uncharted territory...
In many ways, I have spent the last eighteen months preparing for this moment. I have used that past failure to motivate myself to be able to get to this point. I built a web of accountability that will not allow me to fail. I give back to this site that has given me so much freedom because I know how good they will feel once they begin to break those chains and start this journey. It helps remind me what Day 1 looks like, and why I don't want to go back. Everything continued to build in my quit along the way, propelling me to new heights - I have now been quit for longer than any other period of time in my life since that first time I stuffed that shit into my face.
Now what?
To be perfectly honest, it's a little scary. It took me longer to get here than most, but I'm finally now faced with the fact that I'm doing something I've never done before - quitting beyond 18 months. Whereas before I could say "Meh - I've done this before. I know I can get past this" now I'm faced with a new reality of "Huh, never made it this far before. I don't know what's best from here". I know that posting roll will definitely continue. That shit just works, and is capable of carrying me a little farther down the road by itself. Helping new quitters? Absolutely - I know that reminding myself how those early days were is a huge help, and I still feel like I owe KTC more of my time to share the freedom I've earned with others. I've built relationships on this site that are going to last a lifetime with like minded people - quitters. Those relationships are going to drive me forward as well and keep my quit going well into the future.
I may not know what's to come. I may not know what hurdles I'll have to get over or what highs and lows are still to come in my recovery. I know who'll be coming with me though. I know who has my back and who likely doesn't. Armed with that knowledge, I'm comfortable continuing to head down this path. I have others to light my way. That's what matters. I don't need to see the whole path, I am content knowing I'm following in the footsteps of others that have made this journey in front of me. They'll warn me when they can, and I have help for anything else that comes up along the way!
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I enjoy reading your introduction section…
I too have these same fears of the unknown in quitting and my use of KTC. You are not alone. What I keep reminding myself is…One day at a time. Who cares about tomorrow, next week or 2 years from now. All that matters is today. I’m still an addict and I can’t have just one…today.
Keep on quitting…it keeps getting better.
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559 / 24
Weight this week is unknown. I had a couple of days off, including Monday (my normal weigh-in day) and slacked from the weigh-in.
Overall weight is unknown in three weeks
Activity is +6.2 miles this week vs a goal of +10.5
"Excuse of the week" - My back continued to harass me throughout the week, so even though I'm slightly below my activity increase goal (stepped up an extra half mile per day this week to +10.5 instead of +7) I'm pretty happy with the results. I finally went to see the Doc at the end of last week and have seen tremendous improvement over the last few days and that will help going forward. I'm right around +2.5 miles through two days this week, but still taking it easy when my back decides to be an asshole.
"What am I going to do differently" - Nothing significant. Even though I've fallen slightly below what I'd hoped for in terms of activity and didn't weigh in on Monday to track that progress, I have noticed one significant change - I can walk farther before I'm winded. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but considering where I'm starting I'm pretty happy with that progress. At some point in the near future I'm going to need to add a "pace" component to my goals, but I've been careful to avoid that so far simply because I have been doing 90% of my walking with the dog. She likes to chase smells and I'm happy to let her do it, so that has forced me to a slower pace than I'd like at times. I'll be too hot for her to go with me pretty soon, so I'll start timing myself at that point.
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564 / 29
Weight this week is unknown (only because I didn't weigh in last week)
Overall weight is -8.0 lbs in four weeks
Activity is +6.4 miles this week vs a goal of +10.5
"Excuse of the week" - None this week. I feel like I'm back on track after fighting through these back issues. They're still popping up a bit, but I'm learning when to take it easy to take a little pressure off of it.
"What am I going to do differently" - Still, nothing significant. I'm a bit disappointed that I'm only at -8.0 after four weeks (hoping to be at -10.0 this morning), but I realize that I'm in this for the long haul. Rapid weight loss sounds great and I know I could shed this faster, but I know for me it's not sustainable and that ultimately 2-3 pounds a week is something I can do consistently for quite a while... I do need to be better about ramping my activity though. Even with the back pain I'd hoped for better mileage this week. I'll be sure to improve that for next week.
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564 / 29
Weight this week is unknown (only because I didn't weigh in last week)
Overall weight is -8.0 lbs in four weeks
Activity is +6.4 miles this week vs a goal of +10.5
"Excuse of the week" - None this week. I feel like I'm back on track after fighting through these back issues. They're still popping up a bit, but I'm learning when to take it easy to take a little pressure off of it.
"What am I going to do differently" - Still, nothing significant. I'm a bit disappointed that I'm only at -8.0 after four weeks (hoping to be at -10.0 this morning), but I realize that I'm in this for the long haul. Rapid weight loss sounds great and I know I could shed this faster, but I know for me it's not sustainable and that ultimately 2-3 pounds a week is something I can do consistently for quite a while... I do need to be better about ramping my activity though. Even with the back pain I'd hoped for better mileage this week. I'll be sure to improve that for next week.
Great job sticking to it.
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572 / 37
Weight this week is -1.2 lbs
Overall weight is -9.2 lbs in five weeks
Activity is +8.2 miles this week vs a goal of +10.5
"Excuse of the week" - Easter. It's not really an excuse, just an opportunity for improvement that I feel like I took some advantage of. Pretty happy that I was able to continue downward this week (-1.2 lbs) even with the big holiday meal on Sunday. I stuck with smaller portions (including dessert, which was my personal favorite - my moms lemon merengue pie from my great grandmothers recipe...) and avoided seconds. It was still a high calorie day, but substantially less than it would have been in the past. I'm not sure many people know this about me, but I absolutely LOVE to cook and the big holiday family style meals are my favorite. I kept my taste testing to a minimum and adjusted what I had for dinner to even account for that.
"What am I going to do differently" - Time to focus on bumping my mileage. I'm still short of my daily/weekly goal as far as my activity goes. I believe I'm on the right track from a dietary standpoint (with a few things to work on), but activity has consistently been lower than it should. No excuse this week. I want +14.0 (an extra two miles per day). Stamina improvements have helped because my morning walk is now approximately the equivalent of what I was doing in a day, but I've been dropping the ball after that. The heat hasn't helped in that I'm not walking the dog in the afternoon/evenings, but there's no reason I can't jump on the treadmill for 15-20 minutes in the evenings. I've been using "playing with my grandson" as an excuse for not doing that in the evenings as we have him five nights a week for a few hours, but if I dump the seat down on the elliptical I'm sure he'd be more than happy to exercise with me!
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Good job, stains.
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578 / 43
Weight this week is -1.4 lbs
Overall weight is -10.6 lbs in six weeks
Activity is +10.1 miles this week vs a goal of +14.0
"Notes for the week" - I didn't really like the "Excuse" heading. There are no excuses. At my weight this is every bit as life and death as quitting dipping was. I won't accept excuses, and you shouldn't either. I was actually closer to my goals for the week than my numbers indicate. I was a day behind last week when I posted, so this is a "six day week" to get me back on a Mon-Mon schedule for my posts.
"What am I going to do differently" - Nothing significant. I was reasonably pleased with the numbers from last week, considering they were a day short. Still a little short of where I want to be from a mileage standpoint, but I know what I need to do to get there and I'm happy that I'm able to feel a difference in stamina. It's not a lot, but it's a definite improvement. I think the important thing for me right now is to power through the little bit of a lull I'm in and really focus next week and onward! The 20-25 degree swings in temperature from one day to the next haven't been helping, but I've been able to work around it by walking early and around at work a little.
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599 / 2
Many of you are aware that I've had a pretty shitty couple of weeks personally. That's actually NOT why I dropped that second number back to 1 yesterday morning (no, "Fatty McFatty" didn't "cave" on food or exercise), and I'll get to all of that in a minute...
First though I want to thank those of you that have reached out over the past few weeks to make sure I'm doing ok. I have had quite a bit of time to process all that's happened, and I really appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers and support along the way. I know I've been incredibly sporadic in terms of the site, but that's unfortunately been what I've needed to do to maintain my sanity...
The good news is that there's light at the end of the tunnel (and I'm reasonably sure it's not a train this time)! While it's been hard losing my grandmother, I've known for years this time was coming and did my best to prep for it. My son and I spent as much time with them as we could over the last few years, if for no other reason than to let my mom Skype with them every other weekend while she lived abroad, and I know that I've truly been blessed to have them in my life as long as I did. She is pain free and at peace, and we'll lay her to rest with my grandfather next week.
There are only a handful of people that know about the other part of the family drama I've been dealing with since just after Christmas and I don't intend to share that any more than I already have, but that came to a conclusion last Wednesday as well. Now it's a matter of healing and trying to move forward as best they can, and all I can do from this point on is offer my love and support as they work through it all. I do feel as if a weight has been lifted from me though with this resolution...
Through it all (last week especially) I've posted roll, kept my word, and repeated the next day. The biggest win? Zero craves. If you're reading this and thinking about quitting (or wondering if it's worth staying quit) I promise you it's worth every bit of the struggle to get to this point. I had an incredibly shitty week and never once considered whether stuffing poison into my face would help (spoiler alert - it won't). With the support of this site, and more importantly the people posting on it, I conquered what would have killed a stoppage if I were trying to do this alone. This is where I know I would have failed if I'd chosen to drift and fade and walk away at any point over those first 600 days. Caving was never on the table though. WUPP took care of that every single day.
So, why the "2" again?
I got on the scale a couple weeks ago for my regular Monday morning weigh in and found that I'd gained about four pounds. I knew that couldn't be right because I'd pretty much been following the same eating and exercise patterns. Puzzled, I put the scale back and started getting ready for work. It bugged the shit out of me though, so I stripped back down, re-weighed myself, and found that I'd LOST around three to four pounds. I hadn't taken an 8-pound crap in the middle, so wtf???
It turns out that I am able to get about an 8-9 pound swing on my scale by moving it around in my bathroom and putting it on different areas of the tile. So, even though I know I've lost at least SOME weight (even the high side is lower than I started) I really can't honestly claim that I know how much at this point. I feel better, as evidenced by the distance I've been walking and that it takes more for me to get winded, but quantitatively I have no legitimate way to measure progress that I can say for certain is correct. As an engineer I want some hard and fast numbers and stats to analyze dammit! Things are supposed to be MEASURED!!!
The scale has been relocated to it's "original" location in the spare room with the exercise equipment (I'd moved it when I started this personal challenge to make the scale more accessible and top of mind), and I've verified that it's consistent over the last few days by climbing on and off several times a day to be sure. I've taken this "break" to deal with family challenges, but didn't "cave" on my eating or exercise goals. I've also concluded that I need hard and fast numbers to go after in terms of weight loss. Saying that I need to lose a "shitload" doesn't cut it.
So, these are the goals I am setting:
Weight - 50 pounds total lost from yesterday's weigh-in
Time - No set timeline (I still want this to be a healthy lifestyle change rather than one and done)
Distance - Two miles per day minimum to start this week, bumping half a mile a day every other week after that (2, 2.5, 3, 3.5, 4, 4.5, 5, etc. until I'm limited by time then I'll re-evaluate).
Walking sessions - Twice per day for distance (morning and night) with approximately half of my distance in each, plus walking the property every two hours at work (3-4x per day). May need to adjust a bit when it gets too hot to walk the dog.
I've also moved my weigh in from Monday to Sunday. Monday makes more sense from a "work week" perspective, but Sunday is easier from a "tracking my distance" perspective.
Tracking:
Weight: -0.0 of -50.0 lbs total
Distance: 0.0 of 2.0 per day
Mornings: 0 of 7
Evenings: 0 of 7
I'll probably still report my numbers on Monday morning because it's just easier...
Thank you all again for your support!
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600 is the shizzle. Amazing what you can do ODAAT! Thanks for all the love!
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700! Hoary Chit man! Congrats and keep kicking ass!
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Two Years... Holy Shit...
This past Sunday was my two year quit anniversary. Two. Fucking. Years. Quit.
I've spent a fair amount of time over the last week or so trying to reflect on what that actually means to me and what's changed in these last two years. It's been one hell of a ride so far, that's for damn sure...
I've come across a fair number of people over the course of the last two years. Many have come and gone - some on their own, and some were deservedly shown the door. I've seen quitters that I have tremendous respect for drift and fade. I've continuously refreshed my quit by staying active in the new groups and have met some badass newer quitters that I have a shitload of respect for. I've battled debilitating depression and anxiety at times, especially early in my quit. Two years ago I was coming out of a bad relationship and getting divorced. Now I'm getting married (not many people know that, so it'll be interesting to see who texts me after reading this). I've suffered personally difficult losses with the passing of my grandparents (who were an incredibly important part of my life). My family has seen horrible, horrible things happen on one sisters side and a cancer battle for another sister that's ongoing. My kids have continued to evolve into functional adults and my grandson has started kindergarten. I finished a long run coaching soccer for my sons HS and retired last year, only to recently be enticed back to coaching for my grandson and his kindergarten team. In short, life has happened, and I have been quit through it all.
All of these things comprise what we call "normal life". This isn't a contest to see who's had a shittier time of it. I know some people on here that have been through what I would consider to be far more difficult struggles, and they have remained quit through it all. I'm not special. That's the point of this message. I am not better than you are. If you're reading this and contemplating whether or not you should quit - do it. Now. Seriously. Right now. Spit it out, find your quit group, and post your day 1. In two years, YOU can post something like this in YOUR intro.
Why are so many people successful quitting nicotine with KTC? Every single one of us has tried to do this on our own and has failed, or we wouldn't have found KTC in the first place. What sets this apart?
It's not necessarily the absolute wealth of quit wisdom evident throughout the site, although that's part of it. Certainly the idea of making a daily promise is incredibly important. I have yet to miss a roll post in the first 730+. I don't forsee a case where I miss roll, certainly not intentionally. Clearly those things are important. Accountability - that's HUGE. Having your feet held to the fire when you act like the addict you are is a critical component of quitting. None of these things compete with the Brotherhood aspect in my opinion, and it's not even close.
It is the people that I have met through KTC that matter the most to me at this stage in my quit. These relationships are built to stand the test of time. I have been through hell and back with my FURY brothers and sisters and I love and appreciate each and every one of them in their own way. I'm sure it drives them crazy sometimes at two years in, but I still reach out and harass them when they're not on roll. The vets that came before me will always hold a special place in my heart. They did for me what I'm trying to do for others - help show them how to quit. I don't interact with all of them outside these walls, but I appreciate them none the less. The newbies - they keep my quit young and remind me where I've been. I need to have you in my life as well because your pain reminds me of my pain. Your struggles remind me of mine. Everything you're going through now helps remind me why I don't want to go through that hell again. Hopefully in return I provide some small glimmer of hope for you for the future. This is possible.
Then there's you fuckers. The ones I originally sat down to type about. The ones that are going to be stuck with me no matter what, pretty much forever... The power of KTC doesn't lie in the method of posting or the setup of the groups or the wisdom throughout the site. Don't get me wrong, all of those things are important, they're just not what truly drives this place. The power of this site lies within the people that quit here. Those of you that have had a profound impact on my life over the last two years, thank you. I would not be here without your help. There have been far, far too many to list and I'm not going to piss someone off by leaving them off a thank you list. You know who you are. I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you.
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Two Years... Holy Shit...
This past Sunday was my two year quit anniversary. Two. Fucking. Years. Quit.
I've spent a fair amount of time over the last week or so trying to reflect on what that actually means to me and what's changed in these last two years. It's been one hell of a ride so far, that's for damn sure...
I've come across a fair number of people over the course of the last two years. Many have come and gone - some on their own, and some were deservedly shown the door. I've seen quitters that I have tremendous respect for drift and fade. I've continuously refreshed my quit by staying active in the new groups and have met some badass newer quitters that I have a shitload of respect for. I've battled debilitating depression and anxiety at times, especially early in my quit. Two years ago I was coming out of a bad relationship and getting divorced. Now I'm getting married (not many people know that, so it'll be interesting to see who texts me after reading this). I've suffered personally difficult losses with the passing of my grandparents (who were an incredibly important part of my life). My family has seen horrible, horrible things happen on one sisters side and a cancer battle for another sister that's ongoing. My kids have continued to evolve into functional adults and my grandson has started kindergarten. I finished a long run coaching soccer for my sons HS and retired last year, only to recently be enticed back to coaching for my grandson and his kindergarten team. In short, life has happened, and I have been quit through it all.
All of these things comprise what we call "normal life". This isn't a contest to see who's had a shittier time of it. I know some people on here that have been through what I would consider to be far more difficult struggles, and they have remained quit through it all. I'm not special. That's the point of this message. I am not better than you are. If you're reading this and contemplating whether or not you should quit - do it. Now. Seriously. Right now. Spit it out, find your quit group, and post your day 1. In two years, YOU can post something like this in YOUR intro.
Why are so many people successful quitting nicotine with KTC? Every single one of us has tried to do this on our own and has failed, or we wouldn't have found KTC in the first place. What sets this apart?
It's not necessarily the absolute wealth of quit wisdom evident throughout the site, although that's part of it. Certainly the idea of making a daily promise is incredibly important. I have yet to miss a roll post in the first 730+. I don't forsee a case where I miss roll, certainly not intentionally. Clearly those things are important. Accountability - that's HUGE. Having your feet held to the fire when you act like the addict you are is a critical component of quitting. None of these things compete with the Brotherhood aspect in my opinion, and it's not even close.
It is the people that I have met through KTC that matter the most to me at this stage in my quit. These relationships are built to stand the test of time. I have been through hell and back with my FURY brothers and sisters and I love and appreciate each and every one of them in their own way. I'm sure it drives them crazy sometimes at two years in, but I still reach out and harass them when they're not on roll. The vets that came before me will always hold a special place in my heart. They did for me what I'm trying to do for others - help show them how to quit. I don't interact with all of them outside these walls, but I appreciate them none the less. The newbies - they keep my quit young and remind me where I've been. I need to have you in my life as well because your pain reminds me of my pain. Your struggles remind me of mine. Everything you're going through now helps remind me why I don't want to go through that hell again. Hopefully in return I provide some small glimmer of hope for you for the future. This is possible.
Then there's you fuckers. The ones I originally sat down to type about. The ones that are going to be stuck with me no matter what, pretty much forever... The power of KTC doesn't lie in the method of posting or the setup of the groups or the wisdom throughout the site. Don't get me wrong, all of those things are important, they're just not what truly drives this place. The power of this site lies within the people that quit here. Those of you that have had a profound impact on my life over the last two years, thank you. I would not be here without your help. There have been far, far too many to list and I'm not going to piss someone off by leaving them off a thank you list. You know who you are. I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you.
Thank you for what you have and continue to do. Proud to quit with you.
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Two Years... Holy Shit...
This past Sunday was my two year quit anniversary. Two. Fucking. Years. Quit.
I've spent a fair amount of time over the last week or so trying to reflect on what that actually means to me and what's changed in these last two years. It's been one hell of a ride so far, that's for damn sure...
I've come across a fair number of people over the course of the last two years. Many have come and gone - some on their own, and some were deservedly shown the door. I've seen quitters that I have tremendous respect for drift and fade. I've continuously refreshed my quit by staying active in the new groups and have met some badass newer quitters that I have a shitload of respect for. I've battled debilitating depression and anxiety at times, especially early in my quit. Two years ago I was coming out of a bad relationship and getting divorced. Now I'm getting married (not many people know that, so it'll be interesting to see who texts me after reading this). I've suffered personally difficult losses with the passing of my grandparents (who were an incredibly important part of my life). My family has seen horrible, horrible things happen on one sisters side and a cancer battle for another sister that's ongoing. My kids have continued to evolve into functional adults and my grandson has started kindergarten. I finished a long run coaching soccer for my sons HS and retired last year, only to recently be enticed back to coaching for my grandson and his kindergarten team. In short, life has happened, and I have been quit through it all.
All of these things comprise what we call "normal life". This isn't a contest to see who's had a shittier time of it. I know some people on here that have been through what I would consider to be far more difficult struggles, and they have remained quit through it all. I'm not special. That's the point of this message. I am not better than you are. If you're reading this and contemplating whether or not you should quit - do it. Now. Seriously. Right now. Spit it out, find your quit group, and post your day 1. In two years, YOU can post something like this in YOUR intro.
Why are so many people successful quitting nicotine with KTC? Every single one of us has tried to do this on our own and has failed, or we wouldn't have found KTC in the first place. What sets this apart?
It's not necessarily the absolute wealth of quit wisdom evident throughout the site, although that's part of it. Certainly the idea of making a daily promise is incredibly important. I have yet to miss a roll post in the first 730+. I don't forsee a case where I miss roll, certainly not intentionally. Clearly those things are important. Accountability - that's HUGE. Having your feet held to the fire when you act like the addict you are is a critical component of quitting. None of these things compete with the Brotherhood aspect in my opinion, and it's not even close.
It is the people that I have met through KTC that matter the most to me at this stage in my quit. These relationships are built to stand the test of time. I have been through hell and back with my FURY brothers and sisters and I love and appreciate each and every one of them in their own way. I'm sure it drives them crazy sometimes at two years in, but I still reach out and harass them when they're not on roll. The vets that came before me will always hold a special place in my heart. They did for me what I'm trying to do for others - help show them how to quit. I don't interact with all of them outside these walls, but I appreciate them none the less. The newbies - they keep my quit young and remind me where I've been. I need to have you in my life as well because your pain reminds me of my pain. Your struggles remind me of mine. Everything you're going through now helps remind me why I don't want to go through that hell again. Hopefully in return I provide some small glimmer of hope for you for the future. This is possible.
Then there's you fuckers. The ones I originally sat down to type about. The ones that are going to be stuck with me no matter what, pretty much forever... The power of KTC doesn't lie in the method of posting or the setup of the groups or the wisdom throughout the site. Don't get me wrong, all of those things are important, they're just not what truly drives this place. The power of this site lies within the people that quit here. Those of you that have had a profound impact on my life over the last two years, thank you. I would not be here without your help. There have been far, far too many to list and I'm not going to piss someone off by leaving them off a thank you list. You know who you are. I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you.
Thank you for what you have and continue to do. Proud to quit with you.
That’s some beautiful, deeply real, and heartfelt stuff right there, Mr. Rains. Proud to be quit with you.
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Something worth hearing. Really drives the nail in even more for me.
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Something worth hearing. Really drives the nail in even more for me.
Two years...hard to believe two whole fucking years have passed! Congrats to you, and thanks for being apart of my quit.
BMC 730