Hey guys, I'm really glad i found this site and forum.
I'm 29 years old and have used nicotine on and off for about 10 years. I now have a beautiful 1.4 year old baby boy that i love more than i could ever think and who's probably fueling most of my motivation to be a better and healthier person. I haven't actually used dip before, my nicotine addiction came mostly from very strong snus and occasional sigaret smoking. Tried to quit many times, but haven't been too serious about it and ofc i failed. Last quit was about a year ago when i tried to quit my daily or rather nightly(very small amounts tho) cannabis use and nicotine at the same time. I was really miserable and had a lot of anxiety, worrying about mental health and same kind of symptoms like i have now, but i was sure it was from cannabis use rather than a nicotine and started using snus again in the process of it. This time i didn't even plan to to it, but in the place i live the snus isn't actually sold in shops, you have to order it from Sweden or buy from "dealers" and i just ran out. None of my friends had any and i thought that maybe its time to quit from it, no big deal I have to do it someday anyway so why not now. Oh how wrong i was, it hit me like a freakin train - really bad mood swings, anxiety and feelings of absolutely no joy or positive thoughts. I had seen the new Joker movie a few days before i quit and i heard the "all i have is negative thoughts" quote in my head constantly for a week or more, also i googled every crazy theory that came in my mind like maybe i have schizophrenia because it felt like I'm really losing my mind. Before the quit I usually drank a lot of coffee and some energy drinks and was still low key drowsy through the day but no sleep issues, actually i could easily sleep after a big cup of coffee. But long story short, I'm 36 days clean now and it has been pretty terrible so far, but I'm never going back to nicotine after i felt what it was doing with my mind. I have pretty much no cravings even tho guys at work are doing snus and teasing me with it, i only have hate for the nicotine. The thing i struggle most with is an feeling of dread and thoughts that this anxiety will never go away, i think it has gone a little better, i already can tell that I'm not going to lose my mind... at least not completely... i hope
but I'm still feeling anxious most of the day and constantly fighting with anxious thoughts. During these withdrawals i think i have eaten the most healthy diet filled with mostly foods that i have googled to boost mood and to be healthiest. I'm not feeling hungry most of the day but i just eat 4 times to ensure that i have the best nutrition to help me get over with this shit. I also play basketball about 3 times a week and started to swim or lift weights on the off nights from basketball just to keep doing something other than worrying about my mental health all the time. I think my weight haven't changed, maybe i have lost a little bit. I don't feel love for the things i usually did - like music and being good at basketball. I am not anxious in social situations or when I'm doing something intense but its pretty bad when I'm alone or at work because i have a pretty plain and boring job that doesn't keep my mind busy. So that's me and this is my final quit from nicotine
