Author Topic: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.  (Read 22331 times)

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Offline JMckay

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #88 on: November 02, 2017, 11:21:00 PM »
Quote from: Samrs
Quote from: jMcKay
I need to remember to go to your intro when I'm having an off day and caving seems like an option. You have a lot of good info to help stay quit. Thanks for posting it
That's what it's here for! If you like this stuff, I really recommend checking out wildirish317's intro as well. Lots of good stuff in there. His first post in his intro thread has an index, even! :)
Thanks yeah I have checked his intro out while back. I have read most of the intros going back to april.

Offline Samrs

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #87 on: November 01, 2017, 12:53:00 PM »
From Broccoli-saurus:

Edit: a minor update is here.
Quote from: Broccoli-saurus
Some thoughts on building relationships:

I think I've been here long enough and been involved enough to see some trends here. Everybody stresses the importance of getting phone numbers but never really tells you what to do with those numbers. I text 37 quitters my promise every day. Of those, I get into other conversations with maybe 20 of them from time to time. Of those, I get into deeper conversations with 10-12 of them at least weekly. Of those, there are 6 that I would feel comfortable calling at any hour of the day/night, and 2 that I have done that with. Those relationships keep me quit. It's easy to make a promise to a bunch of nameless, faceless strangers that are a little difficult to imagine as actually existing in real life. When you text your promise to somebody that you've shared life challenges with, somebody that you've seen pics of and pics of their family, and know what they go through on a regular basis, you're telling a friend that you won't dip that day. We aren't trading numbers just to enhance our rolodex. We should be building relationships with these people so when you need them, you won't be apprehensive about calling them.

I was on my second week of quit, around day 12. I had been out to dinner with a lady friend and was driving home. I stopped at a gas station for a Dr.Pepper, and when I went to the counter, I also bought a can. It was muscle memory. I opened the can and smelled it. It was absolutely divine, but I had given my promise and I had relationships made. I felt I needed to announce my intentions so I could keep my word as a man. I texted Casus Belli. What made me pick him, I have no idea. He wasn't even in my group. He was August, but he reached out to me early in my quit and he was one of my few numbers. I was on the verge. I had bought a can, opened a can, and smelled that shit. There were only two more steps to take, and I'd be a caver AGAIN, posting a new day 1. What Casus did after I texted him saved my quit. He didn't text back. He freaking CALLED me. And he talked to me for probably 15 minutes about the chemicals in dip, his story, hell I can't remember what all he talked to me about. But in that time, I decided to walk to the toilet and dump this brand new can of cancer that I had just paid $5 for not 30 minutes earlier. His actions were a result of our relationship, and that saved my quit.

Fast forward to day 77. At this point in my quit, I felt like I had things whipped pretty good. One day, I went to the gas station on my lunch break at work to grab a drink and a burger from the fry cook. As soon as I pulled in the lot, I felt a deep crave out of nowhere. I was right on the verge of going in and buying a can. Once again, I had made my promise early and I had relationships. I texted a brother, then I realized text is too slow, probably exactly what Casus realized that day 2 months earlier. I decided to call Phuctup. He answered, and I kept him on the phone the whole time I was in the store. If I had him on the line, I couldn't very well order a can of dip without him coming to Texas and kicking me in the nuts. Relationships...

Develop these relationships guys. I just posted a 145 day promise, and I could easily have a crave so solid that I need to make a call. I have multiple people that I wouldn't hesitate to pick up the phone and do that with. I have people that I really want to meet and I would drive hours to do so. I have made friends here. If anybody here needs digits, mine are a PM away, but I'll want yours too, and a daily text promise at a minimum. The people that don't have those relationships are much more likely to cave on the site. This is no joke and it's life and death. Don't you think you should do everything you can to stay quit?
"We have so much experience here in lying to ourselves and others, that it takes a strong voice to snap ourselves out of it... Be thankful that all these people are willing to be invested in you saving your life." -- drstober
"You're playing a game of chicken with a dead plant in a plastic can. If you cave you lost to a dead plant." -- Candoit
"The answer isn't more numbers. The answer is build relationships." -- Broccoli-saurus
"ok. now groop hug." -- 'drome
"The rule is WUPP (Wake Up Piss Post) regardless of time or zone, unless you are in the Phantom Zone.  In that case, hit up Jor-El and he can get you on roll." -- S412
My Intro - The Weight of Days - Mall Walking - Workin' it off in the Excercise Group

Offline Samrs

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #86 on: October 28, 2017, 10:44:00 PM »
Rubyred from June '17 was asking about feeling depressed around day 246... and, wouldn't you know it, I ran into something like that in the week leading up to my day 269.

So I wrote a bit about that Quarter Dangle Funk.
Quote from: Samrs
Quote from: Rubyred
I hate tobacco and nic. In a fog and depressed. I've been sad but depressed is new for me.
I hit something very similar about a month back... let's see.. yep, here it is.

That was close to the end of a week where I was just generally down. I think I was fighting something off, physically as well. Just a head cold or something, but the two together (being down, feeling blick) was a one-two punch. I didn't want to get up, didn't want to go to work, didn't want to go for my daily walks, didn't want to eat.

I didn't want to make the bed in the morning. That sounds stupid, maybe, but I always make the bed. I joke that even if I get nothing else done every day, I know that I at least got one thing done. My wife just thought I was just a bit down, until I left the bed unmade a couple of mornings. THAT got her attention... that's when I realized I wasn't just feeling poorly, there was something wonky in my brain.

It all came to a head in the crave I described in that post. It seemed out of nowhere at the time, but looking back, it's easy to see that it was building. No way I was going to feed my addiction, but it was a rough week or so until I worked my way out of it.

And when I say I worked my way out of it... I mean that. I intentionally blocked out time during the day for my walks. I got my wife and girls on board to badger me about sitting down and working on some projects in the evening, for at least an hour. Even though I really, really, really didn't want to, I made myself go to church early and stay around afterwards, so I would have to interact with people. I made myself do little things that I could look at and think, "Yeah, I made some progress today."

Give that a try, see if it helps. Find a few small tasks you can bang out each day, and set some times to do them. Get moving a bit, even if it's just taking a walk. Get around some people that you know an like, and spend a little time with them. If that doesn't help and this seems to persist, or get worse, see a doctor - clinical depression is nothing to fool around with. I'm pretty confident that a week or so from now, though, you'll be feeling a heck of a lot better than you are today.
"We have so much experience here in lying to ourselves and others, that it takes a strong voice to snap ourselves out of it... Be thankful that all these people are willing to be invested in you saving your life." -- drstober
"You're playing a game of chicken with a dead plant in a plastic can. If you cave you lost to a dead plant." -- Candoit
"The answer isn't more numbers. The answer is build relationships." -- Broccoli-saurus
"ok. now groop hug." -- 'drome
"The rule is WUPP (Wake Up Piss Post) regardless of time or zone, unless you are in the Phantom Zone.  In that case, hit up Jor-El and he can get you on roll." -- S412
My Intro - The Weight of Days - Mall Walking - Workin' it off in the Excercise Group

Offline Samrs

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #85 on: October 28, 2017, 10:40:00 PM »
Quote from: jMcKay
I need to remember to go to your intro when I'm having an off day and caving seems like an option. You have a lot of good info to help stay quit. Thanks for posting it
That's what it's here for! If you like this stuff, I really recommend checking out wildirish317's intro as well. Lots of good stuff in there. His first post in his intro thread has an index, even! :)
"We have so much experience here in lying to ourselves and others, that it takes a strong voice to snap ourselves out of it... Be thankful that all these people are willing to be invested in you saving your life." -- drstober
"You're playing a game of chicken with a dead plant in a plastic can. If you cave you lost to a dead plant." -- Candoit
"The answer isn't more numbers. The answer is build relationships." -- Broccoli-saurus
"ok. now groop hug." -- 'drome
"The rule is WUPP (Wake Up Piss Post) regardless of time or zone, unless you are in the Phantom Zone.  In that case, hit up Jor-El and he can get you on roll." -- S412
My Intro - The Weight of Days - Mall Walking - Workin' it off in the Excercise Group

Offline JMckay

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #84 on: October 22, 2017, 06:23:00 PM »
I need to remember to go to your intro when I'm having an off day and caving seems like an option. You have a lot of good info to help stay quit. Thanks for posting it

Offline Samrs

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #83 on: October 19, 2017, 12:06:00 PM »
[Because I am going to need this again, sadly...]

If you all haven't realized it yet - nicotine is addictive. We are addicts. One of the reasons - the primary reason, in fact - that KTC works is that you have a group of addicts who understand how addicts think. So when you start acting like an idiot addict instead of a quitter, you have a whole host of people to correct your sorry ass and get you back on track.

Here at KTC you are surrounded by people who want you to quit with them. People who want you to succeed. People whom you have asked (by posting roll) to hold your feet to the fire and help you stay quit.
  • And you're going to get all butthurt over them doing exactly what you've asked them to do?!?
  • Or maybe posting roll is too much effort. Do you know what is more burdensome than posting roll? Chemo therapy.
  • Or... crap, I dunno. [insert lame-ass excuse that's a setup for caving here]
Which is why I'm here to say:

Dude? You're acting like an idiot addict.
Cut that crap out. If you want to quit, get on here first thing every damn day, post your promise, and then keep it.

Thirty-three damn years of dumping that crap into my body. Multiple attempts at quitting in the past decade. This site - these people - are the only thing that has helped me quit and stay quit. I know that there are people out there do quit, somehow, without this kind of support... but holy crap, man - once you've found it, WHY would you throw it away?

We're not riding your ass, man. We're throwing you a freaking lifeline. Grab it, will you?
"We have so much experience here in lying to ourselves and others, that it takes a strong voice to snap ourselves out of it... Be thankful that all these people are willing to be invested in you saving your life." -- drstober
"You're playing a game of chicken with a dead plant in a plastic can. If you cave you lost to a dead plant." -- Candoit
"The answer isn't more numbers. The answer is build relationships." -- Broccoli-saurus
"ok. now groop hug." -- 'drome
"The rule is WUPP (Wake Up Piss Post) regardless of time or zone, unless you are in the Phantom Zone.  In that case, hit up Jor-El and he can get you on roll." -- S412
My Intro - The Weight of Days - Mall Walking - Workin' it off in the Excercise Group

Offline Samrs

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #82 on: October 09, 2017, 12:12:00 PM »
Man. Hate the circumstances for it, but some great words of wisdom from Wastepanel...

Quote the First :
Quote from: Wastepanel
There is no way to make right what you did but you can only grow from here. Don't ever be that person again. Be strong and be true. That's all we ask. We don't need to be an avatar of ourselves. We just have to be us. In the end, that's all that's keeping us quit. Make it right man.

We're always here.

And fuck you for lying to me.

Saddle up sugarbritches. You can do this.
Quote the Second :
Quote from: Wastepanel
We all walk this same path today. Some of us have just walked it before.
Quote the Third :
Quote from: Wastepanel
Fading gets a lot of people man. Quitting isn't a sprint to quit the bestest out of the gate. It's a day in, day out marathon. Ain't one of us "quit forever" until we're 6 feet under the ground.
"We have so much experience here in lying to ourselves and others, that it takes a strong voice to snap ourselves out of it... Be thankful that all these people are willing to be invested in you saving your life." -- drstober
"You're playing a game of chicken with a dead plant in a plastic can. If you cave you lost to a dead plant." -- Candoit
"The answer isn't more numbers. The answer is build relationships." -- Broccoli-saurus
"ok. now groop hug." -- 'drome
"The rule is WUPP (Wake Up Piss Post) regardless of time or zone, unless you are in the Phantom Zone.  In that case, hit up Jor-El and he can get you on roll." -- S412
My Intro - The Weight of Days - Mall Walking - Workin' it off in the Excercise Group

Offline Samrs

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #81 on: October 07, 2017, 04:07:00 PM »
Some deep insight from Fordblue...
Quote from: Fordblue
If I've learned anything from this website, we quit for ourselves but our strength to continue comes from helping each other.
"We have so much experience here in lying to ourselves and others, that it takes a strong voice to snap ourselves out of it... Be thankful that all these people are willing to be invested in you saving your life." -- drstober
"You're playing a game of chicken with a dead plant in a plastic can. If you cave you lost to a dead plant." -- Candoit
"The answer isn't more numbers. The answer is build relationships." -- Broccoli-saurus
"ok. now groop hug." -- 'drome
"The rule is WUPP (Wake Up Piss Post) regardless of time or zone, unless you are in the Phantom Zone.  In that case, hit up Jor-El and he can get you on roll." -- S412
My Intro - The Weight of Days - Mall Walking - Workin' it off in the Excercise Group

Offline Samrs

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #80 on: September 11, 2017, 09:10:00 PM »
(As posted by Candoit in October 2017)
Quote from: tgafish
'usflag' 'usflag' The Declaration of Nicotine Independence by TGAfish 'usflag' 'usflag'
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the bands which have connected them with addiction, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, websites are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of addiction becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new freedoms, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that relationships long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off that bitch, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these KTC'ers; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former self abuses. The history of the present Nic Bitch is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Brothers. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


She has refused us freedom, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
She has forbidden us to enjoy times with our families
She has refused to pass us the ability to not look like a loser with a cat turd in our mouth
She has called together legions of marketing companies to tell how how hot she is
She has dissolved our self esteem
She has refused for a long time our cries to get her fucking claws out of us
She has endeavoured to prevent blessed freedom
She has obstructed our visits to doctors and dentists
She has made our brotherhood dependent onher Willl alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
She has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
She has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
She has affected to render the Military dependant on her of and superior to the Civil power.
She has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving Her Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed marketers among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off pieces of our friends wrecked with cancer:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of not spilling a disgusting spit cup:
For transporting us beyond Seas fully packed with her poison for fear of not finding her on other shores
For abolishing the free System of driving anywhere without having to stop at a c store
For taking away our dignity, abolishing our most valuable relationships, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Freedom:
For suspending our own integrity, and declaring herself invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
She has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of her Protection and waging War against us.
She has plundered our bodies, ravaged our health, burnt our pride, and destroyed the lives of our people.
She is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty  perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized organization.
She has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their brothers, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
She has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless marketers, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Woman whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our addicted brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by the bitch to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our decision to be done with slavery. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of those who choose freedom from the use of nicotine, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of KTC, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Brothers are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent ; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Nic whore, and that all financial and mental connection between them and the fucking whore, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent Brothers, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Brotherhood may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
"We have so much experience here in lying to ourselves and others, that it takes a strong voice to snap ourselves out of it... Be thankful that all these people are willing to be invested in you saving your life." -- drstober
"You're playing a game of chicken with a dead plant in a plastic can. If you cave you lost to a dead plant." -- Candoit
"The answer isn't more numbers. The answer is build relationships." -- Broccoli-saurus
"ok. now groop hug." -- 'drome
"The rule is WUPP (Wake Up Piss Post) regardless of time or zone, unless you are in the Phantom Zone.  In that case, hit up Jor-El and he can get you on roll." -- S412
My Intro - The Weight of Days - Mall Walking - Workin' it off in the Excercise Group

Offline ChickDip

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #79 on: July 31, 2017, 12:00:00 PM »
Quote from: LarryA
Quote from: Samrs
Quote from: FLLipOut
200!!!

'party' NICE JOB, SECOND FLOOR!!! 'party' SAMRS GUD BOI QUITTER! 'party'

And great job paying it forward EDD!
Aw, man! Thank you for making me smile :)
I can't believe I didn't catch this the other day!! 2nd floor congrats, brotha!
I missed it to...thanks FLLIP for leading off.
Outstanding 200 ++ days quit Sam!
July 2015 Jackals - House of WUPP
"....the load doesn't weigh me down at all, he ain't heavy he's my brother"
Try to believe that you are worth more than you think, and others are worth more than you think.
"If you haven't... Quit now......If you have... Stay that way " ~AppleJack
"Make It Through Today" WarE2013 (Rest Easy)
"I am quit... for today... with you... but not FOR you" ~LBP
"Endeavor to Persevere!" Lone Waite

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Offline LarryA

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #78 on: July 30, 2017, 06:12:00 PM »
Quote from: Samrs
Quote from: FLLipOut
200!!!

'party' NICE JOB, SECOND FLOOR!!! 'party' SAMRS GUD BOI QUITTER! 'party'

And great job paying it forward EDD!
Aw, man! Thank you for making me smile :)
I can't believe I didn't catch this the other day!! 2nd floor congrats, brotha!

Offline Samrs

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #77 on: July 30, 2017, 01:22:00 PM »
A good nugget of wisdom from LarryA buried in this post right here...
Quote from: LarryA
Once you get past the "suck" not caving is pretty simple: You just have to want to quit more than you want to cave.
"We have so much experience here in lying to ourselves and others, that it takes a strong voice to snap ourselves out of it... Be thankful that all these people are willing to be invested in you saving your life." -- drstober
"You're playing a game of chicken with a dead plant in a plastic can. If you cave you lost to a dead plant." -- Candoit
"The answer isn't more numbers. The answer is build relationships." -- Broccoli-saurus
"ok. now groop hug." -- 'drome
"The rule is WUPP (Wake Up Piss Post) regardless of time or zone, unless you are in the Phantom Zone.  In that case, hit up Jor-El and he can get you on roll." -- S412
My Intro - The Weight of Days - Mall Walking - Workin' it off in the Excercise Group

Offline Samrs

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #76 on: July 30, 2017, 01:17:00 PM »
Quote from: FLLipOut
200!!!

'party' NICE JOB, SECOND FLOOR!!! 'party' SAMRS GUD BOI QUITTER! 'party'

And great job paying it forward EDD!
Aw, man! Thank you for making me smile :)
"We have so much experience here in lying to ourselves and others, that it takes a strong voice to snap ourselves out of it... Be thankful that all these people are willing to be invested in you saving your life." -- drstober
"You're playing a game of chicken with a dead plant in a plastic can. If you cave you lost to a dead plant." -- Candoit
"The answer isn't more numbers. The answer is build relationships." -- Broccoli-saurus
"ok. now groop hug." -- 'drome
"The rule is WUPP (Wake Up Piss Post) regardless of time or zone, unless you are in the Phantom Zone.  In that case, hit up Jor-El and he can get you on roll." -- S412
My Intro - The Weight of Days - Mall Walking - Workin' it off in the Excercise Group

Offline FLLipOut

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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #75 on: July 28, 2017, 04:48:00 PM »
200!!!

'party' NICE JOB, SECOND FLOOR!!! 'party' SAMRS GUD BOI QUITTER! 'party'

And great job paying it forward EDD!
Just one and you will be back to where you started, and where you started was desperately wishing you were where you are now.
"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost
"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" - Samwise Gamgee
HOF: 10.29.16 | FL 2: 02.06.17 | FL 3: 05.17.17 | Y1: 07.22.17 | FL 4: 08.25.17 | FL 5: 12.03.17 | FL 6: 03.13.18 | FL 7: 06.21.18 | Y2: 07.22.18 | FL 8: 09.29.18 | FL 9: 01.07.19 | COMMA , : 04.17.19 | Y3: 07.22.19 | FL 11: 07.26.19 | FL 12: 11.03.19 | FL 13: 02.11.20 | FL 14: 05.21.20 | Y4: 07.22.20 | FL 15: 08.29.20  | FL 16: 12.07.20 | FL 17: 03.17.21 | FL 18: 06.25.21 | Y5: 07.22.21 | FL 19: 06.25.21 | FL 20 ,, : 01.11.22 | FL 21: 04.21.22 | Y6: 07.22.22 | FL 22: 07.30.22 | FL 23: 11.07.22 | FL 24: 02.15.23 | FL 25: 05.26.23 | Y7: 07.22.23 | FL 26: 09.03.23 | FL 27: 12.12.23 | FL 28: 03.21.24

Offline Samrs

  • GUD BOI!
  • Administrator
  • Master of Quit
  • *****
  • Posts: 51,793
  • Just freaking post roll, OK?
  • Quit Date: 10 Jan 2017
  • Interests: Writing, gaming (computer, tabletop, board and card), SF/Fantasy, hapkido.
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Re: Tired and done. Quitting, Day 1.
« Reply #74 on: June 28, 2017, 08:30:00 AM »
KTC can be confusing. Not just how to post roll - they have a video for that, by the way - but everything else around it. For the first couple of months, it seems like there's a bunch of unwritten rules that you run into every time you turn around.

So, rebel that I am, I decided to write them down.

This is a work in progress, as I have time. If you have suggestions or corrections (or - even better - a link to a post where a mod or admin said, "This is kosher" or "That is unacceptable") please PM me or start a new topic below - I'll edit this to amend things as needed.

Now... here is Everything You Wanted To Know About KTC But Were Afraid To Ask.

TODO list...


How KTC Works

I can't do much better than this link on the main website - Here's How You Quit... Ball Is In Your Court Now. That covers the who, what, where, when, why and how of quitting.


Slang

IQWYT? ODAAT? WTF? Decipher these and other Acronymnics Obscura using the KTC Quitionary!


What's Expected Of You

So you signed up. You've got an account. You've even foudn your group and posted roll for the first time because someone sent you a link to that video. Yay! What's next?

Here's what you've signed up for:

Brotherhood and Accountability
  • By "brotherhood" we mean "get to know people".
  • By "accountability" we mean "tell people how to get in contact with you".
You'll hear people talk about WUPP EDD. Wake Up, Piss, Post - Every Damn Day. That means you've committed to getting on here and making your promise to stay clean from nicotine first thing, every day.

We don't take days off here. No, not ever when you're really, really busy. You never took a day off of dipping, right? You don't take a day off of quitting either. We are addicted - when we were chewing, dipping, smoking, or whatever, we would make time for our habit. You are going to be expected to make time for quitting. If you don't, the other quitters will get on your case about it.

That's accountability. That's what you asked for when you posted roll. Complaining about it is pointless.

Understand this, your fellow quitters can only hold you accountable if they can get in touch with you. That means that you need to "share digits" (exchange phone numbers). Start texting people. Maybe give someone a call.

Yes, I am encouraging you to text and call strange men that you met on an internet site. I realize that your Mama probably told you not to do stuff like that. She probably also told you to not stuff cat shit in your mouth, though, so frankly, you've already got a track record of ignoring her advice, so let's just let it go and get to texting and calling, OK?

"Brotherhood" means we're looking out for each other. When your brother did something dumb, you called him out on it, smacked him upside the head and told him not to do it anymore. Here, when you do something dumb, expect someone to call you out on it, (virtually) smack you upside the head and tell you to stop doing that.

Strangers don't care if you're stuffing cancer into your lip. We do, because we're your quit brothers and sisters.


KTC Is A Nicotine Free-Site

You knew that, right? The site is called "Kill The Can", but really, it's for nicotine addicts. So in order to be a member here, in order to post here, in order to get support here... you need to not just give up chewing, you need to give up nicotine entirely. That means...
  • No snuff.
  • No dip.
  • No chew.
  • No snus.
  • No cigarettes.
  • No cigars.
  • No pipes.
  • No vaping.
  • No nicotine gum.
  • No nicotine patches.
In short: If it has nicotine in it - do not pick, pack, ingest, inject, snort, sniff, inhale, or otherwise introduce it to your body.


Wait - I'm Not An Addict!

Why, yes. Yes you are. Have you tried quitting before? Have you failed?

It's because you're addicted. If you have used nicotine for any period of time, it has caused measurable physiological changes in your body and brain. If you stop using nicotine, you will experience withdrawal symptoms. Those withdrawal symptoms suck badly enough that most people, absent a support framework, will go back to using nicotine in order to relieve the symptoms of withdrawal. That's pretty much the definition of an addict.

Some people react really negatively to the idea that they're an addict. Don't. You have to admit that in order to truly quit. You cannot use nicotine, period. You can't be quit for a year and have just one to celebrate, any more than an alcoholic can be dry for a year and have just one night out on the town... doing so leads to a relapse and a reinforcement of the addiction.

This is my own personal opinion, but I think that successful quitters really embrace the concept of themselves as an addict. It is liberating - all those times you have tried and failed before? It's not because you were weak, it's because your brain was fighting you every step of the way and you didn't realize it. Now that you admit you are an addict and understand the implications of that, you can develop a support network - something outside of your nicotine-addled brain - to help you cope with withdrawal and get on with quitting.


What You Can Expect

Oh, man. There's quite a bit of advice you can find. There is also some additional info on the main site:
As you head into your first weekend of quit, I highly recommend going over Harvest Girl's Quit Compilation. It's like the K-TEL record of quits, only the top hits... and if you got that reference, you can expect to see a AARP brochure in your mailbox any day now.

You might also want to check out this very useful plan for handling craves from Swilson:
Quote from: Swilson
People it's pretty fucking simple use the tools at your disposal. If you feel a crave do all of the following first before choosing to bitch out and put crap in you lip:

1. Call a brother
2. Text a brother
3. Make a post
4. Go back and read some of the shit you went through
5. Workout for 5 minutes
6. Eat something
7. Use a substitute like seeds or fake stuff
8. Don't be a little bitch
9. Say I choose to put cancer in my face out loud before hand
10. Repeat just don't cave

Rules, Tradition  Etiquette

There's a difference between rules, tradition and etiquette. Rules are what the guys who run the site determine. If you break one of them, you may be a warning, you may get put on probation (where every post has to be approved by a moderator) or you may get banned.

Tradition is the way things happen. Breaking up groups by month, AFAICT, isn't a rule - it is a very strong tradition, though. You probably can't change tradition, so the best you can do is understand what's happening so you're not completely confused.

Etiquette is... everything else. Suggestions on how to interact with everyone else on the site. STRONG suggestions, for the most part - though some are stronger than others. If you continually violate etiquette, you can expect people to call you out, call you names, and - eventually - start ignoring you completely.

The thing you really need to keep in mind is that while a bunch of the traditions and etiquette around the site might seem arbitrary... it really isn't. They are ways of doing business here at KTC that have developed over the years, and they get followed because they work. Take the time to read these words of wisdom from pyk1520 - he does an excellent job of laying out what's what, why things work the way they do, and why you should think twice before deciding to ignore the way business gets done here.


The Law (Rules)

[TODO: include pointers to rules, like no IP masking, etc.]
[Multiple accounts: topic/30249720/]

They're very lenient on the boards, but there are certain things that will get you shut down. Sexual harassment. Derogatory comments about someone else's family members. Overtly racists comments. [Verify... examples?]

See Gentgeen's comments on moderation...
Quote from: Gentgeen
It also takes A LOT to get banned here at KTC. If you review the guidelines -- topic/1004627/ -- the moderators don't want to ban anyone, and then try not moderate. (You can also review topic/1006018/ which gives some insight to the moderators ).

Posting Personal Information (Rule)

Keep your digits off the boards. Send them in a PM if you need to. If you post your digits on the boards, expect a mod to come along and turn (404) 867-5309 into (XXX) XXX-XXXX for you.

Probably a good idea to keep other personal information off the boards, too (email addresses, postal addresses, etc.) There are spammers out there who would love to have that info - don't give it to them. PM, or get digits and share 'em via text.

If you post someone ELSE'S personal information on the boards, expect it to be similarly obfuscated or just deleted outright, AND to get a warning about doing so. You don't own that information, so it's not yours to share.


PMs (Private Messages) (Rules/Etiquette)

Private Messages are... supposed to be private. There's nothing to keep you from copying/pasting something from a PM elsewhere, but it's both a breach of etiquette and a violation of the rules.

Per the moderators, "Sharing Pm's on the public forum is not tolerated."


Quit Groups (Tradition)

TBD


Conductors (Tradition)

TBD


HOF (Hall Of Fame) (Tradition)

TBD


HOF Speeches (Tradition)

TBD


Wiping Your Feet (Etiquette)

It's considered polite to post support in a group before jumping in to make a comment.

If you jump in to make a joke, or tell a story about your quit or something like that, then you will most likely get a polite reminder to wipe your feet if you haven't already done so.

If you're being polite about it, it's usually OK to post a message first, then immediately post support.

If you come in, fists swinging in order to pick a fight over something or tell someone they're an idiot, then you had BETTER post support first.


Posting Roll - The What (Rule/Tradition)

Already covered WUPP EDD. What do you put and where?

Every group starts out with a list roll - new quitters up top, supporters down below. You post roll by putting your name, your number of days quit, and your promise not to use nicotine that day. For example:
Quote
JoeSchmoe - day 17. I promise to not use nicotine today.
Once you get some quit under your belt, it's acceptable to put your name and your day count, ex:
Quote
JoeSchmoe - 117
TBD: Dealing with a promise that doesn't make it to roll?


Posting Roll - The How (Etiquette)

Did I mention that they have a video for that? I think I may have. You really should go watch it! As with anything else, though, once you master the basics, you are ready to move on to advanced studies. Which is why I really appreciate CavMan83's instructions on How To Post Roll Like A Pro.

As he said elsewhere:
Quote from: CavMan83
You've heard it said that the only way to really screw up roll is to not be on it.....while that is true, it also is true that if folks spent just a bit of time to go back and review their posts, a whole bunch of the bump fixes could be remedied....maybe not all, but a goodly number of them! Quit on!!
Frazzled talks about why posting your day count is so important.

Posting Support (Tradition/Etiquette)

Some people post above the line all the time (Clampy). That's OK. It's actually a cool thing. You may have a couple of vets who regularly post "above the line" with your group. That's a great thing! They're there to help you out, help you move through your first few months, answer questions, be mentors... whatever. They're Qui-Gon to your Obi-Wan and yes I am a geek just shut up OK?

You don't have to be invited to post support somewhere! If you feel a connection, go for it. Post in the supporters section, though. Unless you're 1k days quit like Clampy and just do give a flying rat's patootie.

In short, long-time vets can get away with some things you probably can't. Rank Has Its Privilege.

If there's a supporter that you as a group really like, you can explicitly invite them to post above the line with you. That's kinda like adopting them as a member of the group. It's more or less traditional to invite your conductors to continue to post with you as part of the group.


Changing Roll (Rules/Tradition/Etiquette)

DO NOT DO THIS. Roll is sacred. You can post your promise, you can amend your promise, you can fix a bump (see below) or a jacked up roll, but other than that, leave it alone.

In a new group, you can get away with moving someone's roll post from below the line (supporters) to above the line (group members) if they're a new, foggy quitter who doesn't get the hang of roll. Other than that... nope. Stay away from it.

Adding text to the end of someone's roll line? Probably not kosher. May be a rules violation. Almost certainly a breach of etiquette.

Flashman commented on this.

Deliberately changing or deleting someone's roll line? Definitely a rules violation. Don't fuck with someone else's roll under any circumstances.


Bump Fixes (Etiquette)

TBD
"We have so much experience here in lying to ourselves and others, that it takes a strong voice to snap ourselves out of it... Be thankful that all these people are willing to be invested in you saving your life." -- drstober
"You're playing a game of chicken with a dead plant in a plastic can. If you cave you lost to a dead plant." -- Candoit
"The answer isn't more numbers. The answer is build relationships." -- Broccoli-saurus
"ok. now groop hug." -- 'drome
"The rule is WUPP (Wake Up Piss Post) regardless of time or zone, unless you are in the Phantom Zone.  In that case, hit up Jor-El and he can get you on roll." -- S412
My Intro - The Weight of Days - Mall Walking - Workin' it off in the Excercise Group