day 3

[traumagnet]

9:13 AM - Mar 19, 2015 #365

From: Frazzled

Trauma,

I can only pray for you and your family, that you will get through this fight and be able to stand tall and say to cancer. Your brothers and sisters here at KTC will rally around you any way we can. Don't be afraid to ask for help. We may be a community of people on the Internet, but this real life shit hits us all too close to home. At one point in our history, we had guys putting money together for meals for a quitter whose wife was having pre-term labor issues and they were stuck in the hospital, away from their other kids, for 3 months.

I gutted Kodiak when I dipped, and a cancer diagnosis has always been a real fear for me.

Stay close, and we will do whatever we can to help.

Frazz

[traumagnet]

9:11 AM - Mar 19, 2015 #364

From: tom_92673

Thoughts and Prayers are with you. Colon Cancer is beatable! I wish you nothing but the best.

Tom

[traumagnet]

9:10 AM - Mar 19, 2015 #363

From: Hawseman

Thoughts and prayers to you and your battle. Stay strong, my comrade.

[traumagnet]

9:00 AM - Mar 19, 2015 #362

From: Nolaq

Fuck Cancer!

Praying, brother.

[traumagnet]

8:40 AM - Mar 19, 2015 #361

From: 30yrAddict

My prayers are with you, friend.

[traumagnet]

8:24 AM - Mar 19, 2015 #360

From: KKLJINC

Todd, I know you and I have talked about this already. You told me with a light heart, joking and all. I can't imagine exactly what your feeling, and how you process this. If you need anything you know exactly where to find me. You and I have killed countless hours, shooting the shit, making Gerbil Jokes.

All of that was key in my quit. Being a group ahead of you, I got to take the roll of mentor, but to tell you the truth, you were helping me as much as I was helping you. The endless banter of text messages passed the hard time. it made those second by second moments pass without fail.

You've been a epic quitter, and you're going to be an epic fighter as well. Myself and anyone who knows you has your back. FUCK Cancer, your going to win, you're destined to win.

KK Gerbil Slayer 'Remshot'

[traumagnet]

9:56 AM - Mar 17, 2015 #359

From: grizzlyhasclaws

We are all pulling for you brother. Thoughts and prayers your way. Stay strong and fight like a quitter. You will beat this.

[traumagnet]

7:43 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #351

Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper… This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it’s not over. This isn’t written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together… I was a bad ass I didn’t need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock…followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm…not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa…Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterday…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic… All that shit goes through your head…I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn’t going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support….THANK YOU.

6:14 AM - Mar 17, 2015 #357

From: Medicff

Trauma,
I got no words for what you must be feeling.

My family has been fighting cancer too - wife.

I will tell you that you will see some amazing acts of love and kindness from people. I don't know if it is a change in perspective or God's way of letting us know he is there in times of trials.

Me and my house will be praying for you.

Medicff - aka Ben

8:50 AM - Mar 17, 2015 #358

Thank you all I would agree its a change in perspective along w God's way...that which does not kill you makes you stronger!

[traumagnet]

7:43 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #351

Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper… This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it’s not over. This isn’t written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together… I was a bad ass I didn’t need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock…followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm…not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa…Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterday…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic… All that shit goes through your head…I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn’t going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support….THANK YOU.

6:14 AM - Mar 17, 2015 #357

From: Medicff

Trauma,
I got no words for what you must be feeling.

My family has been fighting cancer too - wife.

I will tell you that you will see some amazing acts of love and kindness from people. I don't know if it is a change in perspective or God's way of letting us know he is there in times of trials.

Me and my house will be praying for you.

Medicff - aka Ben

[traumagnet]

7:43 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #351

Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper… This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it’s not over. This isn’t written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together… I was a bad ass I didn’t need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock…followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm…not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa…Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterday…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic… All that shit goes through your head…I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn’t going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support….THANK YOU.

7:49 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #352

From: brettlees

Fuck. Prayers bro. Have faith. I already know you have courage.

8:08 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #353

From: Pinched

Dude, I know that there is nothing I can say to consume or lessen the sadness of the thought of loss. However over the last almost two years I have gotten to know you well enough to know that you are one bad mother fucker. If cancer were to ever take on someone and have the odds against it for once I have to say you would be the man who's corner I would stand in.

As you know from texts and what not I am and will always be here for you for anything. You have been a huge part of my quit and I owe you a great deal. Enjoy these days, embrace the past and don't lament that you may lose out on something, embrace it and enjoy all of the quality time now, that way you can celebrate later when all is cleared.

Reading your words this morning after sending you a congratulation text not only brought tears to my eyes it also made me think and reflect as well. I too want to be a grandpa.

You are my brother and I admire you for what you are now and what you will be after this disease is removed from your body. I am here to fight with you, so let's roll.

>P<

9:06 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #355

From: rdad

Fuck Cancer Trauma. You are going to beat this. The collective thoughts of us here, your family, and your strength will make it all OK. Lots of prayers being sent up for you right now brother!

5:44 PM - Mar 16, 2015 #356

From: Derk40

Congrats on 700 days quit... But really sorry to hear this news. Cancer blows. Be strong and battle ODAAT. You can beat this brother! I am here if you need anything.

[traumagnet]

7:43 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #351

Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper… This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it’s not over. This isn’t written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together… I was a bad ass I didn’t need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock…followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm…not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa…Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterday…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic… All that shit goes through your head…I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn’t going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support….THANK YOU.

7:49 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #352

From: brettlees

Fuck. Prayers bro. Have faith. I already know you have courage.

8:08 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #353

From: Pinched

Dude, I know that there is nothing I can say to consume or lessen the sadness of the thought of loss. However over the last almost two years I have gotten to know you well enough to know that you are one bad mother fucker. If cancer were to ever take on someone and have the odds against it for once I have to say you would be the man who's corner I would stand in.

As you know from texts and what not I am and will always be here for you for anything. You have been a huge part of my quit and I owe you a great deal. Enjoy these days, embrace the past and don't lament that you may lose out on something, embrace it and enjoy all of the quality time now, that way you can celebrate later when all is cleared.

Reading your words this morning after sending you a congratulation text not only brought tears to my eyes it also made me think and reflect as well. I too want to be a grandpa.

You are my brother and I admire you for what you are now and what you will be after this disease is removed from your body. I am here to fight with you, so let's roll.

>P<

9:06 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #355

From: rdad

Fuck Cancer Trauma. You are going to beat this. The collective thoughts of us here, your family, and your strength will make it all OK. Lots of prayers being sent up for you right now brother!

[traumagnet]

8:32 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #354

From: Rawls

Will be praying.

[traumagnet]

7:43 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #351

Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper… This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it’s not over. This isn’t written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together… I was a bad ass I didn’t need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock…followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm…not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa…Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterday…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic… All that shit goes through your head…I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn’t going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support….THANK YOU.

7:49 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #352

From: brettlees

Fuck. Prayers bro. Have faith. I already know you have courage.

8:08 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #353

From: Pinched

Dude, I know that there is nothing I can say to consume or lessen the sadness of the thought of loss. However over the last almost two years I have gotten to know you well enough to know that you are one bad mother fucker. If cancer were to ever take on someone and have the odds against it for once I have to say you would be the man who's corner I would stand in.

As you know from texts and what not I am and will always be here for you for anything. You have been a huge part of my quit and I owe you a great deal. Enjoy these days, embrace the past and don't lament that you may lose out on something, embrace it and enjoy all of the quality time now, that way you can celebrate later when all is cleared.

Reading your words this morning after sending you a congratulation text not only brought tears to my eyes it also made me think and reflect as well. I too want to be a grandpa.

You are my brother and I admire you for what you are now and what you will be after this disease is removed from your body. I am here to fight with you, so let's roll.

>P<

[traumagnet]

7:43 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #351

Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper… This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it’s not over. This isn’t written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together… I was a bad ass I didn’t need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock…followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm…not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa…Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterday…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic… All that shit goes through your head…I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn’t going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support….THANK YOU.

7:49 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #352

From: brettlees

Fuck. Prayers bro. Have faith. I already know you have courage.

[traumagnet]

7:43 AM - Mar 16, 2015 #351

Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper… This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it’s not over. This isn’t written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together… I was a bad ass I didn’t need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock…followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm…not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa…Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterday…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic… All that shit goes through your head…I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn’t going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support….THANK YOU.