Author Topic: Garbage feeling  (Read 21463 times)

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Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #83 on: May 05, 2021, 06:49:41 AM »
427 today. Funeral today for my wives coworker who had mouth cancer and was 2 months younger then me. I did not quit until 4 years into his fight with cancer. Having his battle in the front of my mind has really kept my doom and gloom thoughts strong with every new pain or issue. I told a friend that we were invincible when we chewed and now we are just a bunch of pussies. Tired of fighting and feeling like crap daily but that demon WILL NOT WIN. Docs appt this morning to figure out my gut issues and pray it is something that can be fixed. I quit with you all and thank you for supporting me on this ride. Those are just some of my thoughts that I needed to get out there and off my chest.

I sent this message to all my text buddies and thought it might help somebody here. Stay involved, stay connected and stay quit. Anxiety and depression sucks big time but you can get help for that. Yes I have been inflicted with issues from day 1 of my quit and many I have fought thru. Don’t despair and run back to that can just because it makes you feel like a million bucks. I am a
30 plus year addict and I except the damage I did to myself. I pray everyday that the Lord will allow me to carry on to spread his message and tell about my quit. Those are my thoughts and I pray for all quitters daily that their quit stays strong. Thanks again and have a blessed day.

Doug

Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #82 on: February 16, 2021, 06:58:58 AM »
19 guests this morning at 6:57 am. We have plenty of room in May 21 toll for 19 more. Time to step it up and quit folks. Come on in and be a quitter. You won’t regret it.

Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #81 on: February 11, 2021, 06:20:53 PM »
I just logged on to see if there is any updates from people and we have 16 guests. Don’t be a guest be a member and get rid of that crap today. Be free from the chains of nicotine and never look back. 16 guests, wow.

Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #80 on: February 10, 2021, 08:24:23 PM »
Today! Today I made it 343 days into my quit. I have never been tobacco free this long in over 30 plus years. Life is getting better and still dealing with lingering issues but after 30 plus we won't exactly be healed and free overnight. Life is much much better now then 200 days ago so it does get easier and better newbies so just stay the course. 343 is also another significant number for me as on that fateful in 2001 we lost 343 firefighters who ran in to save victims and lost their life in the process. I share a couple special things with them as 9/11 is also my birthday and at the time I was an engineer in our local fire dept. I know exactly what they were thinking when they ran into the twin towers and can say you don't THINK you just DO. One of the things I remember as we were at work listening to radio was the "all call" that came over the fire pager stating that anybody willing to help at ground zero were to report to a certain fire station for additional orders. We had 2 guys go but they were never allowed into ground zero. NYFD made the decision that evening before our guys got there that it was a recovery operation. All those that had volunteered that day to help was awesome. I am no longer with the fire dept but my heart is always with them and I shall always remember that fateful day when we lost 343. So today is double special to me, thank you to all first responders who made their final call that day and God bless their families.

Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #79 on: January 01, 2021, 02:08:35 PM »
Now is the time to kick that can down the road. Kill the can is the place to be and sending tobacco packing is what we do. The quit will be hard but it can be done. The only way is to start and today is the best time to start. I double dog dare you to quit tobacco with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Offline CTF

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #78 on: December 31, 2020, 03:40:23 AM »
So I finally hit the 3rd floor and never in my life did I ever think I would. Has it been easy? Well read thru my blog and you will find out. The greatest tool in the KTC toolbox is the other members that are at a text message/phone calls reach away. I have found that texting 13 different people in the morning can be cumbersome (until you learn the copy/paste trick, old guy here) but has done so much more then just posting and ghosting. It builds a trust network and family as you find out that there really are other people like you out there. So I will always be an advocate for KTC but its getting more involved with your group, sharing digits to get a group text going is huge because when one is late or missing that is the easiest way to reel them back in. Also if any issues arise then you can text the group or you know you can't post then put it out in the group to get a text pick up. I didn't want to think in the beginning that it worked and I am so glad I was wrong. That has done so much for me that it is hard to explain. I am still dealing with some health changes from my quit but it seems to be getting better everyday. My reflux I think I can control but if not then I will go on a med for it. I have been dealing with an ear issue for 6 weeks that turned out to be fungal which I think was self inflicted due to me cleaning the seed shell spit cup out with my finger and then using that finger to scratch me ear. Seed shells start to mold after a few days then stick to the bottom of cup, duh! Now I got my turn at covid, yes I mask, yes I take precautions, Yes I am considered essential, yes I deal with the public everyday, etc etc etc. Anybody can get it and everybody will as I have said that from the get go. It does suck and for everybody it is a bit different and thank God mine was mild for sure.
In the end I am still quit today and now nephew is 77 days quit. He did not want to join KTC as he is an even bigger introvert then me. This is why I say to get other people in your group or out of your group for support. He said that he never would have gone this far without my knowledge which I gained from being a KTC member. Like KTC on facebook then you can share away what they post as you never know who this might reach and make a difference to. If they are another platform I have no clue as I said before old guy here. Ok enough for now as I am sick of typing and correcting what I try to type haha.

Stay safe, Stay quit and GOD BLESS each and every one of you.
Promises made and promises kept
8/8/98
3/5/20
Tip of the cap to you sir. 300 days is a great accomplishment. As for the COVID thing you were just unlucky. Get well.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2020, 03:42:58 AM by CTF »

Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #77 on: December 30, 2020, 05:06:11 PM »
So I finally hit the 3rd floor and never in my life did I ever think I would. Has it been easy? Well read thru my blog and you will find out. The greatest tool in the KTC toolbox is the other members that are at a text message/phone calls reach away. I have found that texting 13 different people in the morning can be cumbersome (until you learn the copy/paste trick, old guy here) but has done so much more then just posting and ghosting. It builds a trust network and family as you find out that there really are other people like you out there. So I will always be an advocate for KTC but its getting more involved with your group, sharing digits to get a group text going is huge because when one is late or missing that is the easiest way to reel them back in. Also if any issues arise then you can text the group or you know you can't post then put it out in the group to get a text pick up. I didn't want to think in the beginning that it worked and I am so glad I was wrong. That has done so much for me that it is hard to explain. I am still dealing with some health changes from my quit but it seems to be getting better everyday. My reflux I think I can control but if not then I will go on a med for it. I have been dealing with an ear issue for 6 weeks that turned out to be fungal which I think was self inflicted due to me cleaning the seed shell spit cup out with my finger and then using that finger to scratch me ear. Seed shells start to mold after a few days then stick to the bottom of cup, duh! Now I got my turn at covid, yes I mask, yes I take precautions, Yes I am considered essential, yes I deal with the public everyday, etc etc etc. Anybody can get it and everybody will as I have said that from the get go. It does suck and for everybody it is a bit different and thank God mine was mild for sure.
In the end I am still quit today and now nephew is 77 days quit. He did not want to join KTC as he is an even bigger introvert then me. This is why I say to get other people in your group or out of your group for support. He said that he never would have gone this far without my knowledge which I gained from being a KTC member. Like KTC on facebook then you can share away what they post as you never know who this might reach and make a difference to. If they are another platform I have no clue as I said before old guy here. Ok enough for now as I am sick of typing and correcting what I try to type haha.

Stay safe, Stay quit and GOD BLESS each and every one of you.
Promises made and promises kept
8/8/98
3/5/20

Offline 69franx

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #76 on: November 25, 2020, 07:55:24 AM »
Great stuff brother,  thanx for sharing
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HOF: 11/08/17     2nd Floor: 02/16/18     3rd Floor: 05/27/18     1st trip around the sun: 07/31/18     4th Floor: 09/04/18     5th floor: 12/13/18     6th floor: 03/23/2019     7th floor: 07/01/19     2nd trip around the sun: 07/31/19     8th floor: 10/09/19     9th floor: 01/17/20     Comma Day: 04/26/2020     3rd trip around the sun: 08/01/2020     11th floor: 08/04/2020     12th Floor: 11/12/2020     13th floor: 02/20/2021     14th floor: 05/31/2021

Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #75 on: November 25, 2020, 07:34:38 AM »
266/16 NNTOFS
So I have come to a conclusion for my experiment and wow I was surprised. So as some know the first number 266 is quit days, the second number 16 is no fake stuff used days and OFS is "or fake stuff". I was so surprised by how the fake stuff had an impact not only on my physical health but mental health. I am no longer dealing with the throat issues from the vinegar or cayenne powder, not having the upset stomach issues and no longer feel like I am burning up at the end of the day. I still have those massive craves and anxiety attacks after eating thinking I need a lipper but now its time for a stick of gum and let the saliva flow for digestion. Those triggers are interesting as I can see them coming and actually can get thru them with little issues. I still deal with the boredom when driving so I do lean on pumpkin seeds pretty hard yet. No longer have that mourning/lost close friend feeling which is great so I do believe that we need closure on our quit as it was such a huge part of life for many of us for a long time.
 Having to deal with a middle ear infection that has affected both ears has been no fun ride. On the 3rd med now for it and I am seeing relief but anxiety/panic attacks is super high because of the side effects and I hate taking meds for that reason. This has been a long ride on this quit and its not done yet but we are staying the course. Many have had issues for many months after their quit and I do believe that the chemicals in that crap have changed our own chemical composition. Will we be able to repair that damage I have no clue but it is different for everybody on the extent of damage.
So I hope this helps somebody in their quit but if not it at least gave them something to read and pass the time. Keep the quit going and reach out to your help when needed. If you have no help and want some send me a pm and we can share digits. We need the help more then we think so don't fool yourself thinking you can go it alone. Until next time stay strong, stay QUIT and God bless.

Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #74 on: November 17, 2020, 07:25:38 PM »
So I would like to know:
1- is this what some of you are feeling (maybe some can relate)
I've had some reflux late at night recently though I don't recall it earlier
2- do you also feel like your in mourning (adds to my anxiety/depression issues)
well, 1,045 days in and I do get 'just one' thoughts. Not so much mourning as a desire for an old girlfriend kinda thing
3- did you use fake and for how long (250 days for me)
I used cinnamon sticks and still do from time to time. It was all day every day at first. Now I go days without them
4- physically how you feeling, any new things that quitting helped you find (Mine was silent reflux which I had for years but never new what caused the symptoms I had)
I've gained so much weight that the Coast Guard called and offered me a job as a navigational landmark, though I think that's more due to the gym shutdown for CoVid
5- did anybody utilize meds? (I had the prescription filled and in my hand but never used it)
I tried Chantix years ago but didn't like the effect it had on my cognitive thought
Thanks Athan, I like the navigational landmark thats funny.
Thanks for the shout out Doug and I appreciate all your support to reinforce my quit. 
When I quit, I had severe anxiety and a horrible sense of loss, like just losing a friend of 37 years.  Initially I tried all different brands of fake stuff but they were all a sad replacement for what my brain craved.  The fake did help some with the oral fixation thing and when I used alcohol, but it was a shitty replacement for the real thing and my brain knew it. I gave up on fake for a minute as my quit progressed and it seemed to actually reset my head.  I was visiting family in western PA where dipping and boozing go hand in hand.  I picked up some SM just to make sure I had a crutch if things got difficult.  That SM was great as my brain seemed to forget what cope long cut really used to taste like.  Anyway, fast forward to the present, I still use SM probably a few times a week.  My head will still crave the real stuff as I hit a trigger but it is quickly dismissed.
The anxiety was so bad that about four weeks into my quit I went to my doc and got a script for Wellbutrin.  That drug was like a miracle taking away most of the anxiety and I had no noticeable side effects.  I took it for about 2 months.  I also use protonix daily for GERD.  My diet sucks so life without it would be miserable.
I had many bad days from days 200-300.  Since I hit 300, it has been like the sun breaking through the clouds on a stormy day.  I feel great physically and mentally. 
The best advice I can give you is hang in there my friend because better days are ahead.  I feel that your heavy use of the fake stuff is a major part of your problem with reflux.  That nic demon will always have its hooks in all of us, but I think you are on the right track.  Give up on the fake stuff for now...use gum or whatever for that oral fixation thing and don't worry about the weight gain.  @Athan, you are on my travel list for 2021..at least I won't have a hard time finding you!
As usual the puddin man delivered, lol. Thank you bud as this is very valuable info not only for me but for any addict that happens to find this feed.

Hey TF5- Great post.  Love it when you blog it out. 

Thankfully I never had the issues with my digestion.  I do however, have the anxiety and feeling of mourning in spades.  I never had a whiff of anxiety before my Nic stoppage...at least I never really noticed it.  I now wonder if it was always there to some extent but I was self medicating with Nic and never really knew it.  Now I wake up ~2hrs before my alarm on work days in a cold sweat and racing heart.  That's been fun!!  The good news is that this anxiety used to come every day and would last several hours into the afternoon.  Now I'm down to about 2 days a week and it's mostly gone within an hour of me waking/starting my routine.  Hope springs eternal...hopefully this too will pass.

The feeling of mourning is a bit different.  I often feel as if I'm missing something during the day; multiple times a day.  I feel a void that usually comes with a feeling of impending doom.  Usually this feeling comes and goes, even if it happens multiple times a day.  Some days, like today, it lingers and leaves me searching for a work around.  In the past, this is when I'd cave.  Now, I use my tools and reach out and make it to another moment.

I use fake a couple times a week but, as you say, it's a poor replacement.  I used to leave dips in for hours.  Now, once my brain realizes it's the fake shit in my lip, it loses interest and I usually spit it out within minutes.  I've learned to live with the itch and I've accepted the fact that I will probably never be able to scratch it again.  Such is OUR new lives.  I pray that the itch loses some of it's persistence in the future.

Hope this rambling helps TF.  One thing I'm absolutely sure of amongst this mess is that when I/we need someone to lean on, I can always find a brother or sister here at KTC to carry some of my burden and see me through to the next moment.  And that's what it's all about...OMAAT!!

Hold the line my friends

~HAG
My exact thoughts Hag as yes after 8 days there has been a big change. I had that stuffing the fake in to replace that constant nag of the oral. I ended up with burning mouth/throat, unsettled stomach and dry headaches like I used to get early in my quit. The fake just didn't do the trick for me anymore and just was such a bother. Much better now but still have the nags but I feel its mind or matter now. Talking to Muleman and Stillbrewing actually helped me tremendously on that decision.

I did have that mourning/lost feeling ever since I quit. I never could put my finger on what it could be that I was feeling until I read somebody elses post regarding that. Can't remember who wrote it though dang it. After having some sort of tobacco product running threw my veins for 30 plus years I realized that it was just another part of my brain having to fix itself. I put a closure on that chapter and man do I feel better but in no way am I saying that I am better then anybody in that aspect. I have respect for those that need a little help getting thru it. I am married to an awesome lady that has serious anxiety issues so she is well versed on getting by without meds. We use essential oils to help cope as her brother and sister are on the meds and her sister has issues with the side affects. My wife said none of that for me so I have learned to adapt which was a challenge in itself.

Having a support group that will help you and CALL you out is awesome. I have absolutely enjoyed being part of KTC and find neat things about the site all the time. I try to be a good influence and mentor to whom ever will let me but the one that I am most proud of right now is my nephew. I am sure that my brother and I are the reason he started chewing and since I made my quit announcement to the family it sparked his interest. I think his momma is the one that really went after him but at this time he is 33 days quit. I have tried to get him on the site and be part of it but I understand his worries. I do share as much as I can from the site so he sees it. We can only do so much as its on them. Just like the attrition rate here at KTC we are not going to save them all but we need to keep fighting to keep the ones we do have.

PTBQWYT ODAAT and NNTOFS
Thanks for reading what little my mind has to offer and as always Stay Quit, Stay Safe and God Bless!

Offline EXBEARHAG

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #73 on: November 15, 2020, 09:58:01 PM »
So I would like to know:
1- is this what some of you are feeling (maybe some can relate)
I've had some reflux late at night recently though I don't recall it earlier
2- do you also feel like your in mourning (adds to my anxiety/depression issues)
well, 1,045 days in and I do get 'just one' thoughts. Not so much mourning as a desire for an old girlfriend kinda thing
3- did you use fake and for how long (250 days for me)
I used cinnamon sticks and still do from time to time. It was all day every day at first. Now I go days without them
4- physically how you feeling, any new things that quitting helped you find (Mine was silent reflux which I had for years but never new what caused the symptoms I had)
I've gained so much weight that the Coast Guard called and offered me a job as a navigational landmark, though I think that's more due to the gym shutdown for CoVid
5- did anybody utilize meds? (I had the prescription filled and in my hand but never used it)
I tried Chantix years ago but didn't like the effect it had on my cognitive thought
Thanks Athan, I like the navigational landmark thats funny.
Thanks for the shout out Doug and I appreciate all your support to reinforce my quit. 
When I quit, I had severe anxiety and a horrible sense of loss, like just losing a friend of 37 years.  Initially I tried all different brands of fake stuff but they were all a sad replacement for what my brain craved.  The fake did help some with the oral fixation thing and when I used alcohol, but it was a shitty replacement for the real thing and my brain knew it. I gave up on fake for a minute as my quit progressed and it seemed to actually reset my head.  I was visiting family in western PA where dipping and boozing go hand in hand.  I picked up some SM just to make sure I had a crutch if things got difficult.  That SM was great as my brain seemed to forget what cope long cut really used to taste like.  Anyway, fast forward to the present, I still use SM probably a few times a week.  My head will still crave the real stuff as I hit a trigger but it is quickly dismissed.
The anxiety was so bad that about four weeks into my quit I went to my doc and got a script for Wellbutrin.  That drug was like a miracle taking away most of the anxiety and I had no noticeable side effects.  I took it for about 2 months.  I also use protonix daily for GERD.  My diet sucks so life without it would be miserable.
I had many bad days from days 200-300.  Since I hit 300, it has been like the sun breaking through the clouds on a stormy day.  I feel great physically and mentally. 
The best advice I can give you is hang in there my friend because better days are ahead.  I feel that your heavy use of the fake stuff is a major part of your problem with reflux.  That nic demon will always have its hooks in all of us, but I think you are on the right track.  Give up on the fake stuff for now...use gum or whatever for that oral fixation thing and don't worry about the weight gain.  @Athan, you are on my travel list for 2021..at least I won't have a hard time finding you!
As usual the puddin man delivered, lol. Thank you bud as this is very valuable info not only for me but for any addict that happens to find this feed.

Hey TF5- Great post.  Love it when you blog it out. 

Thankfully I never had the issues with my digestion.  I do however, have the anxiety and feeling of mourning in spades.  I never had a whiff of anxiety before my Nic stoppage...at least I never really noticed it.  I now wonder if it was always there to some extent but I was self medicating with Nic and never really knew it.  Now I wake up ~2hrs before my alarm on work days in a cold sweat and racing heart.  That's been fun!!  The good news is that this anxiety used to come every day and would last several hours into the afternoon.  Now I'm down to about 2 days a week and it's mostly gone within an hour of me waking/starting my routine.  Hope springs eternal...hopefully this too will pass.

The feeling of mourning is a bit different.  I often feel as if I'm missing something during the day; multiple times a day.  I feel a void that usually comes with a feeling of impending doom.  Usually this feeling comes and goes, even if it happens multiple times a day.  Some days, like today, it lingers and leaves me searching for a work around.  In the past, this is when I'd cave.  Now, I use my tools and reach out and make it to another moment.

I use fake a couple times a week but, as you say, it's a poor replacement.  I used to leave dips in for hours.  Now, once my brain realizes it's the fake shit in my lip, it loses interest and I usually spit it out within minutes.  I've learned to live with the itch and I've accepted the fact that I will probably never be able to scratch it again.  Such is OUR new lives.  I pray that the itch loses some of it's persistence in the future.

Hope this rambling helps TF.  One thing I'm absolutely sure of amongst this mess is that when I/we need someone to lean on, I can always find a brother or sister here at KTC to carry some of my burden and see me through to the next moment.  And that's what it's all about...OMAAT!!

Hold the line my friends

~HAG

Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #72 on: November 11, 2020, 07:20:52 AM »
So I would like to know:
1- is this what some of you are feeling (maybe some can relate)
I've had some reflux late at night recently though I don't recall it earlier
2- do you also feel like your in mourning (adds to my anxiety/depression issues)
well, 1,045 days in and I do get 'just one' thoughts. Not so much mourning as a desire for an old girlfriend kinda thing
3- did you use fake and for how long (250 days for me)
I used cinnamon sticks and still do from time to time. It was all day every day at first. Now I go days without them
4- physically how you feeling, any new things that quitting helped you find (Mine was silent reflux which I had for years but never new what caused the symptoms I had)
I've gained so much weight that the Coast Guard called and offered me a job as a navigational landmark, though I think that's more due to the gym shutdown for CoVid
5- did anybody utilize meds? (I had the prescription filled and in my hand but never used it)
I tried Chantix years ago but didn't like the effect it had on my cognitive thought
Thanks Athan, I like the navigational landmark thats funny.
Thanks for the shout out Doug and I appreciate all your support to reinforce my quit. 
When I quit, I had severe anxiety and a horrible sense of loss, like just losing a friend of 37 years.  Initially I tried all different brands of fake stuff but they were all a sad replacement for what my brain craved.  The fake did help some with the oral fixation thing and when I used alcohol, but it was a shitty replacement for the real thing and my brain knew it. I gave up on fake for a minute as my quit progressed and it seemed to actually reset my head.  I was visiting family in western PA where dipping and boozing go hand in hand.  I picked up some SM just to make sure I had a crutch if things got difficult.  That SM was great as my brain seemed to forget what cope long cut really used to taste like.  Anyway, fast forward to the present, I still use SM probably a few times a week.  My head will still crave the real stuff as I hit a trigger but it is quickly dismissed.
The anxiety was so bad that about four weeks into my quit I went to my doc and got a script for Wellbutrin.  That drug was like a miracle taking away most of the anxiety and I had no noticeable side effects.  I took it for about 2 months.  I also use protonix daily for GERD.  My diet sucks so life without it would be miserable.
I had many bad days from days 200-300.  Since I hit 300, it has been like the sun breaking through the clouds on a stormy day.  I feel great physically and mentally. 
The best advice I can give you is hang in there my friend because better days are ahead.  I feel that your heavy use of the fake stuff is a major part of your problem with reflux.  That nic demon will always have its hooks in all of us, but I think you are on the right track.  Give up on the fake stuff for now...use gum or whatever for that oral fixation thing and don't worry about the weight gain.  @Athan, you are on my travel list for 2021..at least I won't have a hard time finding you!
As usual the puddin man delivered, lol. Thank you bud as this is very valuable info not only for me but for any addict that happens to find this feed.

Offline stillbrewing

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #71 on: November 11, 2020, 03:22:18 AM »
So I would like to know:
1- is this what some of you are feeling (maybe some can relate)
I've had some reflux late at night recently though I don't recall it earlier
2- do you also feel like your in mourning (adds to my anxiety/depression issues)
well, 1,045 days in and I do get 'just one' thoughts. Not so much mourning as a desire for an old girlfriend kinda thing
3- did you use fake and for how long (250 days for me)
I used cinnamon sticks and still do from time to time. It was all day every day at first. Now I go days without them
4- physically how you feeling, any new things that quitting helped you find (Mine was silent reflux which I had for years but never new what caused the symptoms I had)
I've gained so much weight that the Coast Guard called and offered me a job as a navigational landmark, though I think that's more due to the gym shutdown for CoVid
5- did anybody utilize meds? (I had the prescription filled and in my hand but never used it)
I tried Chantix years ago but didn't like the effect it had on my cognitive thought
Thanks Athan, I like the navigational landmark thats funny.
Thanks for the shout out Doug and I appreciate all your support to reinforce my quit. 
When I quit, I had severe anxiety and a horrible sense of loss, like just losing a friend of 37 years.  Initially I tried all different brands of fake stuff but they were all a sad replacement for what my brain craved.  The fake did help some with the oral fixation thing and when I used alcohol, but it was a shitty replacement for the real thing and my brain knew it. I gave up on fake for a minute as my quit progressed and it seemed to actually reset my head.  I was visiting family in western PA where dipping and boozing go hand in hand.  I picked up some SM just to make sure I had a crutch if things got difficult.  That SM was great as my brain seemed to forget what cope long cut really used to taste like.  Anyway, fast forward to the present, I still use SM probably a few times a week.  My head will still crave the real stuff as I hit a trigger but it is quickly dismissed.
The anxiety was so bad that about four weeks into my quit I went to my doc and got a script for Wellbutrin.  That drug was like a miracle taking away most of the anxiety and I had no noticeable side effects.  I took it for about 2 months.  I also use protonix daily for GERD.  My diet sucks so life without it would be miserable.
I had many bad days from days 200-300.  Since I hit 300, it has been like the sun breaking through the clouds on a stormy day.  I feel great physically and mentally. 
The best advice I can give you is hang in there my friend because better days are ahead.  I feel that your heavy use of the fake stuff is a major part of your problem with reflux.  That nic demon will always have its hooks in all of us, but I think you are on the right track.  Give up on the fake stuff for now...use gum or whatever for that oral fixation thing and don't worry about the weight gain.  @Athan, you are on my travel list for 2021..at least I won't have a hard time finding you!
"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it's everything in between that makes all worth living.  So, love the life you live, live the life you love." - Bob Marley

“La tristesse durera toujours." ~ Vincent van Gogh

"You can fuck off all the way to fuckoff mountain and jump off FUCKOFF point for all i care. Just post and stay quit." ~MikeW2018~

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Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #70 on: November 10, 2020, 07:59:34 PM »
So I would like to know:
1- is this what some of you are feeling (maybe some can relate)
I've had some reflux late at night recently though I don't recall it earlier
2- do you also feel like your in mourning (adds to my anxiety/depression issues)
well, 1,045 days in and I do get 'just one' thoughts. Not so much mourning as a desire for an old girlfriend kinda thing
3- did you use fake and for how long (250 days for me)
I used cinnamon sticks and still do from time to time. It was all day every day at first. Now I go days without them
4- physically how you feeling, any new things that quitting helped you find (Mine was silent reflux which I had for years but never new what caused the symptoms I had)
I've gained so much weight that the Coast Guard called and offered me a job as a navigational landmark, though I think that's more due to the gym shutdown for CoVid
5- did anybody utilize meds? (I had the prescription filled and in my hand but never used it)
I tried Chantix years ago but didn't like the effect it had on my cognitive thought
Thanks Athan, I like the navigational landmark thats funny.

Offline Athan

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Re: Garbage feeling
« Reply #69 on: November 10, 2020, 07:20:00 PM »
So I would like to know:
1- is this what some of you are feeling (maybe some can relate)
I've had some reflux late at night recently though I don't recall it earlier
2- do you also feel like your in mourning (adds to my anxiety/depression issues)
well, 1,045 days in and I do get 'just one' thoughts. Not so much mourning as a desire for an old girlfriend kinda thing
3- did you use fake and for how long (250 days for me)
I used cinnamon sticks and still do from time to time. It was all day every day at first. Now I go days without them
4- physically how you feeling, any new things that quitting helped you find (Mine was silent reflux which I had for years but never new what caused the symptoms I had)
I've gained so much weight that the Coast Guard called and offered me a job as a navigational landmark, though I think that's more due to the gym shutdown for CoVid
5- did anybody utilize meds? (I had the prescription filled and in my hand but never used it)
I tried Chantix years ago but didn't like the effect it had on my cognitive thought
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