Bruce has been on and off seeing a shrink, because I have "anger issues" or some bullshit like that. But he told me I need to start writing a journal, well I told him to eat it, Bruce ain't no phag!! About 6 months ago I wrote this, a year and a half into my quit. Thought I'd share it with y'all.
She's my addiction. No matter what I try, I can't get her off my mind. Everyday it seems there's a reminder lurking behind a corner ready to pounce. I know I'm better off without her! Why is my brain telling me otherwise, telling me one more day, one more time and I'll be over it. I don't understand it. I've made strides forward, I have made myself a better person, healthier, moved on. I hate these thoughts, but I live with them, like everyone who's fighting the same fight. That gives me hope, that others are winning this battle. So can I. The frustrating thing is, she'll never leave my thoughts, temptress. I need to remember that I'm better without her, look where I am?! Never thought I would get this far. I guess I need to learn to live with these thoughts, walk away and regather myself, remind myself. It has got easier, so maybe it'll keep getting easier.