KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: jaygib on January 20, 2011, 08:20:00 PM
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Just wanted to say hello. I'm an addicted to the deamon dip and am on my second day of the quit. I've used for about 10 years straight and prior to that I went through years of use/nonuse.
I'm a single father to 3 kids. My love for my kids ain't enough to get me to quit. The romantic relationships and friendships that have suffered because of my habit ain't enough to get me to quit. The lack of getting involved in other outside activities ain't enough to get me to quit. Nope I've realized that dip was my god in many ways and God doesn't approve of it. The self medication I turned to in stress so long ago replaced God as my most important diety.
So I'm depressed, mad, tired, lonely, frustrated and I want a dip. I won't because I made a promise to God, but I really want to. It sucks because I ain't working right now so the last 2 days and the next few will likely be me sitting around suffering but I'll manage and the days will get brighter I'm sure.
Thanks to all you that are inspiring me, and I'll pray for those of you in the battle with me.
Jason
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God approves but don't do it for him - do it for you. You will eventually let GOD down and he will forgive you. I WONT. Learn how to post up and form a relationship with this band of brothers (and sisters) and welcome to the suck. It gets better every day and this is the absolute best decision you have ever made. Welcome and God Bless.
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Welcome Jason!!
Read as much as you can on this site. You will find that it will be VERY useful, especially when you have a lot of down time.
God will be there for you no matter what. It's nice to make a promise to God but you should also be making a promise to yourself. Do this for yourself first then everything else second.
Try to keep yourself busy. Turn off the TV, get off the couch and find ways to keep your mind occupied (again, reading this site will be a key here).
You will find that you are not alone. You can do this. How do I know? Because this site is jam packed with bad ass Quitters who are doing it.
STAY STRONG-STAY QUIT
Brian
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Welcome Jason!!
Read as much as you can on this site. You will find that it will be VERY useful, especially when you have a lot of down time.
God will be there for you no matter what. It's nice to make a promise to God but you should also be making a promise to yourself. Do this for yourself first then everything else second.
Try to keep yourself busy. Turn off the TV, get off the couch and find ways to keep your mind occupied (again, reading this site will be a key here).
You will find that you are not alone. You can do this. How do I know? Because this site is jam packed with bad ass Quitters who are doing it.
STAY STRONG-STAY QUIT
Brian
Jason after reading everything on this site (which is a lot) you'll come to the conclusion that a dip will not help you get a job. Or find a new girlfriend. Or pay your bills. Or buy your kids stuff. For that matter you won't need a job, because you will be dead. Your kids will be fatherless and they will have to pay your bills you left behind.
Quit with us. Day by day you'll see that you can live without it. But you gotta do it for you and you gotta really be in for the ride.
tarp
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Thanks folks and this is about me and deep down that does matter, I matter to me because I'm one of the most selfish type of people in the world...an addict. But in the meantime I have to had rely on God's positive views of me and the healthier and happier guy I'll become because that same selfish addict me is gonna be to willing to settle for that false promise of the beloved next dip. My mind has been great at convincing me that the slow suicide path was A OK. F that shit. I ain't selling my heart and soul back to the griz or one of his friends.
5 days in and there have been some shitty moments. But today something amazingly positive is happening I realize and it's when I hear the word cancer now. I don't want cancer but if I get cancer I fight that fight, but there ain't no panic at the thought or mention of the word like there was just a week ago while I was actively trying to get cancer. So for all the other axieties that dip fooled me into believing it was magically making better this is an anxiety that is being overcome.
I've gone stir crazy for a few days around the house alone (kids are at their moms) but I picked this choice to avoid unleashing dip rage on them. So I'm almost through that and a new week will present new opportunities and new chances to love the family and others without worrying about fitting them in between dips.
The journey is the rest of my life, but for the first time in 5 days I can look to an unknown future that will be healthier and happier and not panic at the unknown and miss the evil poison that my MY SPECIAL evil poison.
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Thanks folks and this is about me and deep down that does matter, I matter to me because I'm one of the most selfish type of people in the world...an addict. But in the meantime I have to had rely on God's positive views of me and the healthier and happier guy I'll become because that same selfish addict me is gonna be to willing to settle for that false promise of the beloved next dip. My mind has been great at convincing me that the slow suicide path was A OK. F that shit. I ain't selling my heart and soul back to the griz or one of his friends.
5 days in and there have been some shitty moments. But today something amazingly positive is happening I realize and it's when I hear the word cancer now. I don't want cancer but if I get cancer I fight that fight, but there ain't no panic at the thought or mention of the word like there was just a week ago while I was actively trying to get cancer. So for all the other axieties that dip fooled me into believing it was magically making better this is an anxiety that is being overcome.
I've gone stir crazy for a few days around the house alone (kids are at their moms) but I picked this choice to avoid unleashing dip rage on them. So I'm almost through that and a new week will present new opportunities and new chances to love the family and others without worrying about fitting them in between dips.
The journey is the rest of my life, but for the first time in 5 days I can look to an unknown future that will be healthier and happier and not panic at the unknown and miss the evil poison that my MY SPECIAL evil poison.
That's good Jason,
You're starting to break through that misery you were in. Each day is special, each day is a new beginning. You will continue to have moments of struggle but realizing that a dip isn't going to help anything is powerful. Millions of people deal with life without stuffing shit into their face, why not you? Why not us?
STAY-STRONG
STAY-QUIT
Brian
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15 days in today and I really have wanted a dip most of the day...damn! Haven't knuckled under and I won't but it's just frustrating after so many great days largely free of that evil desire. I'll just blame it on being snowed in without any coffee--the coffee maker went and died on me.
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15 days in today and I really have wanted a dip most of the day...damn! Haven't knuckled under and I won't but it's just frustrating after so many great days largely free of that evil desire. I'll just blame it on being snowed in without any coffee--the coffee maker went and died on me.
hang in there Jay ! At two weeks the nicotine makes a last ditch effort to win you back
This is normal, feels just like day 1-3, You got this. It's just your body adjusting to th fresh oxygenated blood now flowing in your veins.
Get small, read, read, read, do everything you did to get through the first three days. If nothing else gets done , other than staying nicotine free, for the next few days. so be it! You are Winning!
Here is a link to read up on...http://www.killthecan.org/facts/2weeks.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/facts/2weeks.asp)
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15 days in today and I really have wanted a dip most of the day...damn! Haven't knuckled under and I won't but it's just frustrating after so many great days largely free of that evil desire. I'll just blame it on being snowed in without any coffee--the coffee maker went and died on me.
bud this is my 20th day and life still isn't great but it does get easier. you're going through what I and many others went through. on that 2 week mile marker it's like the nicotine makes call to you like an old girlfriend saying please don't leave me. That's the way I thought of it and I don't want a deadly, and life threatening substance back. You can make it through my friend. I and many others have went through and are going through what you are. Just remember this feeling and remember to stay the quit because you don't want to go this all this agony again. Stay the quit my friend!!!
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Thanks fellas. Good way to put it, the ex trying to get back again...this time will be better. Nah, we're cool as enemies
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Started a new job this week and it's nice not having to fit dip into the new schedule. No longer way to work or home from work to get more time with my friend. No lunch breaks in the car in some random parking lot spent wolfing down a sandwich in a minute so I can get as much dip time as possible. No trips to the bathroom for a 10 minute crap with a can tucked in my sock, les anyone notice it in my pocket.
I still want to dip at those times but I'm choosing not to and it is great! 38 days
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i know all those dip tricks well buddy. comes with the territory of hiding my 4+ year habit from nearly everyone.
keep up the good quit.
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Day 50! For each of the last 50 days I wanted to have a dip at some point. For each and every minute of the last 50 days I've chosen to not dip. Maybe at some point soon a day will pass when I don't covet dip but until then I'll fake it til I make it.
Thanks to all those living the quit with me
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Congrats on the 5-0 little bro. Each minute can be a victory at times.
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Day 50! For each of the last 50 days I wanted to have a dip at some point. For each and every minute of the last 50 days I've chosen to not dip. Maybe at some point soon a day will pass when I don't covet dip but until then I'll fake it til I make it.
Thanks to all those living the quit with me
Trust me brother, those days are not far off. I'm not sure when it happened in my quit, but I began to notice that I would go days without craving. I would just not think about it all day. Hang on, stay the course! It gets soooooo much better and it is sooooo worth it. Thanks for being here, you make my quit stronger!
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Day 50! For each of the last 50 days I wanted to have a dip at some point. For each and every minute of the last 50 days I've chosen to not dip. Maybe at some point soon a day will pass when I don't covet dip but until then I'll fake it til I make it.
Thanks to all those living the quit with me
Keep the quit brudda.
You can do this.
in 724 days, you will not be disappointed if you keep the quit.
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Day 78 and I've reached a landmark of sorts, today I haven't wanted a dip. This wasn't a function of not thinking of dip the entire day either mind you because folks were sitting around talking of quitting smoking today which of course brought my own quit to mind, but I didn't miss the company of the grizzly bear nor wish I was off for a drive with a dip. I merely thought of a phase of life that is no more.
The good news is that it is possible for me to move past the strong desire to use. Of course I knew this already from longer periods of non use in life. The bad news is that now I have to fight against the enemy that will wait in ambush, I also know this from the end of longer periods of non use when I resumed being a fulltime, active addict.
Funny thing is that over the weekend I was jonesing hard but I just ignored it and kept living life. That grizzly bear don't own me anymore
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Nice work jaygib! 76 a real accomplishment you should be proud of. I'm right there with you man, I know the bitch will be back to ambush me when I least suspect it. Bring it, I posted up, I'm quit and so are you, keep it up!
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Day 78 and I've reached a landmark of sorts, today I haven't wanted a dip. ...
... Funny thing is that over the weekend I was jonesing hard but I just ignored it and kept living life. That grizzly bear don't own me anymore
Do you still use the fake stuff at day 78, jaygib? I've been going through days when I don't even think about it, and others when I crave it more than food (I wish it was cheaper, though). What about you?
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thanks grimace
9, actually over last weekend I didn't. I'd been using coffee grounds over the last couple months and just never got around to it. My inner lip was peeling for a few days and I figured all the coffee I was drinking was possibly adding to it so I didn't need a lipper just for the sake of having a pacifier if it was only gonna add to that problem. I still like the feeling of that pack in the mouth but I ain't chemically or mentally forced to have it now.
For cost savings brewed coffee grounds ain't a bad choice.