People develop habits and living patterns that may go unnoticed. These patterns develop within our brains over years of practice and repetition. These patterns consist of three main parts that form a mental addiction or as I would like to call it, "Mental Games". The first is the trigger or cue. The second is the action itself, in our case the use of nicotine regardless of delivery type. The third part and final piece is a "reward" your body receives as a result of the habit. I feel like we need to understand this part of the mental addiction in order to continue to stay quit and reach our goals. We must consciously replace the habit with something else. This would allow for our mind to recognize positive triggers and positive "rewards". Physical addiction to nicotine last on the average for 72 hours. The physical withdrawal symptoms begin to lessen during this time. We are not physically addicted at this point and must re-wire our brains to replace our superficial "need" for nicotine.
I have used nicotine in some form since i played freshman football. My usage escalated when I turned 23. During the past ten years, I have dipped a full can of dip and between 5-10 cigs per day depending on how many beers I was crushing, work hours, etc. I used when I woke up, when i drove, after I ate, bathroom, sporting events, golf, yard work, drank booze, played cards (you get the picture). Recently however, I realized that I did not use nicotine around 1-2 hours before bed. This was usually the time I spent with the woman. Due to the fact that I never used during this time period, I looked forward to this time during the 3-present days of my quit. This was the ONLY time I did not think about dipping. Why did I not think about it during this time? My mind was not used to receiving nicotine during this time of the day for the past ten years. I began looking forward to this time of the day. I would be thinking about skoal every five seconds outside of this short period of time.
Fast forward to yesterday (day 8 lol)....I am standing in line at the store staring at the varieties of dip behind the counter. I begin to laugh out loud. The lady begins to look at me like "is this guy OK?". I was laughing because that nic bitch was not going to mind fuck me yesterday and it is not today either. I then looked down to see the Smokey Mountain. I was tempted to buy a can of the fake, but then I realized what I have been thinking about since my quit began. How can I break free of the mental addiction to dip when I am having fake dipping sessions after I eat and when I wake up? I'm not knocking people that use it, just not for me. Quite honestly, it scares the shit out of me.
I have one goal and one goal only during this quit. My goal is not to make the HOF, to make 200 days, 500 days, or a 1000 days. My goal is to use the tools, accountability, and brotherhood here on KTC to end the mental games that this drug plays with us after the first 3-4 days. I need the support of our members and friends to stay away from nicotine while I RETRAIN my mind ODAAT. After weeks, months, or years, my mind will adjust to chewing this Trident White after meals rather than using nicotine. I am not delusional. I know I will always be addicted to nicotine and their is no such thing as controlling it. But it will get easier, I am sure of it.
