DonkeyMN ---- Run!

[Skolvikings]

Congrats on a year brotha!!

[RWBullet]

congrats on that first trip around the sun brother!

[Batdad]

Congrats on 1 year!!! That's bad-ass!!

[4TheWin]

Great story Donkey, thanks for sharing...and some helpful comments from the others.

Really like the idea of documenting close calls, moments of temptation, triggers, weird craves and the like. I think taking a minute to write it down takes away any power those ideas (and the Nic bitch that peddles them) may have over us.

As for the fake, I have a tin in my car, a tin in my coat and a tin in my sock drawer...I do not want to get caught short at this stage. However, I have dropped from my early days of three or four fake dips a day down to about 3 a week. Seed use remaining pretty constant, however.

I think keeping a pack of seeds and a can of Smokey Mountain handy at all times is pretty cheap insurance.

Keep up the great work and proud to quit with you today brother!

[JMckay]

Day 294-

Really been a smooth ride the past 50 days or so. No real issues...

I went into a gas station a couple days ago, something that I have done with ease for the past couple hundred days. I would look at that display of death with a passing glance - no big deal mostly contempt. However something a couple days ago just hit me with a longing feeling, just a crave that hit like a quick slap to the face.

I got my shit and got the heck out of there, sat in my truck shaking my head like... WTF was that? Man- that was something to really think about. I have been a little cocky lately about my quit. "I got this licked... I've been through everything and passed that test." Complacency is a mother fucker - kick it in the cooter and stay focused. Remind yourself why you quit. Remember that feeling why....

Edit: Wanted to say that I very rarely use the fake anymore. Don't have the need to do that much. There it is, another milestone that was hit, around the time others said it would be.

I still use the fake stuff few times a day and I kind of like doing it. My hope is over more time it will fade away and I won't want it but that has not happened for me yet. I still think hey I'm not using anything with nic so I'm winning.

[CavMan83]

Day 294-

Really been a smooth ride the past 50 days or so. No real issues...

I went into a gas station a couple days ago, something that I have done with ease for the past couple hundred days. I would look at that display of death with a passing glance - no big deal mostly contempt. However something a couple days ago just hit me with a longing feeling, just a crave that hit like a quick slap to the face.

I got my shit and got the heck out of there, sat in my truck shaking my head like... WTF was that? Man- that was something to really think about. I have been a little cocky lately about my quit. "I got this licked... I've been through everything and passed that test." Complacency is a mother fucker - kick it in the cooter and stay focused. Remind yourself why you quit. Remember that feeling why....

Edit: Wanted to say that I very rarely use the fake anymore. Don't have the need to do that much. There it is, another milestone that was hit, around the time others said it would be.

Donkey....

Dude, you're doing exactly what you need to be doing. Document the hows, whys, and wherefores..... Hate to tell you but craves will continue to come out of the blue for many more days and months. I remember one at the post TWO YEAR mark.... like WTH??? You are sitting there minding your own business and all a sudden you get hit with it. Of course, I have like more than 100 numbers in my phone....was pretty easy for me to call up a brother in quit and just tell him what happened. Don't think I was ever in danger of caving, but still.... I HATE that friggin' insidious weed.

Although I don't have the time daily to continue to post with May '17 and all the others, know that I'm quit with you EDD in spirit, and at least once a week on your rolls!! And tell Leo to go find something productive to do!!

[DonkeyMN]

Day 294-

Really been a smooth ride the past 50 days or so. No real issues...

I went into a gas station a couple days ago, something that I have done with ease for the past couple hundred days. I would look at that display of death with a passing glance - no big deal mostly contempt. However something a couple days ago just hit me with a longing feeling, just a crave that hit like a quick slap to the face.

I got my shit and got the heck out of there, sat in my truck shaking my head like... WTF was that? Man- that was something to really think about. I have been a little cocky lately about my quit. "I got this licked... I've been through everything and passed that test." Complacency is a mother fucker - kick it in the cooter and stay focused. Remind yourself why you quit. Remember that feeling why....

Edit: Wanted to say that I very rarely use the fake anymore. Don't have the need to do that much. There it is, another milestone that was hit, around the time others said it would be.

[wildirish317]

Day 226-

Got a good blindside hit yesterday. Everything changes, nothing stays the same.
What one person sees, another can see as a complete opposite. Two sides to every coin.
Gonna slow down a bit on here, but keep posting and my word. Need a break as this shit is getting too real.
Don't need my quit or my character put on blast, got way too many more important things to deal with than that.

Will be posting support in spirit for the groups I do daily. Anyone who wants to message me will get one back.

I ain't going nowhere

Not sure what the issue is, but "fock 'em feed 'em fish heads!"

You know who you are, in the eyes of God. That is sufficient.

Support comes when you need it.

[DonkeyMN]

Day 226-

Got a good blindside hit yesterday. Everything changes, nothing stays the same.
What one person sees, another can see as a complete opposite. Two sides to every coin.
Gonna slow down a bit on here, but keep posting and my word. Need a break as this shit is getting too real.
Don't need my quit or my character put on blast, got way too many more important things to deal with than that.

Will be posting support in spirit for the groups I do daily. Anyone who wants to message me will get one back.

I ain't going nowhere

[net gain]

Day 204-

Being as how I read in BrianG's intro some sort of reflection on the days from 101-200, I figured I would write something as well.

Things really do just keep getting better, just very slowly.... my fake chew intake is pretty much the same as it was at that day 121. Don't really have hard cravings, but at this point I think I am just a beaten down quitter that is tired from saying no to these little cravings that hit. I picture myself as in the corner of the boxing ring at round 7... tired but knowing I must keep going. There are 15 rounds in this heavyweight fight. I haven't come this far to be a wussy caver now.

The challenge is to stay involved, stay vigilant. When I coined that term for July I had no idea how I was speaking to myself. Days in the 100's are a lonely dark place. Keep trying until you can't try anymore.... then try a little more.

Thank you for telling me for for days on end to be vigilant! Lead the way for me Donk! IQWYT! We are in this together and I'm ALL in! I got the smelling salts ready for round 8...let's go.

[DonkeyMN]

Day 204-

Being as how I read in BrianG's intro some sort of reflection on the days from 101-200, I figured I would write something as well.

Things really do just keep getting better, just very slowly.... my fake chew intake is pretty much the same as it was at that day 121. Don't really have hard cravings, but at this point I think I am just a beaten down quitter that is tired from saying no to these little cravings that hit. I picture myself as in the corner of the boxing ring at round 7... tired but knowing I must keep going. There are 15 rounds in this heavyweight fight. I haven't come this far to be a wussy caver now.

The challenge is to stay involved, stay vigilant. When I coined that term for July I had no idea how I was speaking to myself. Days in the 100's are a lonely dark place. Keep trying until you can't try anymore.... then try a little more.

[DonkeyMN]

Day 150-

A little frustrating funk today. Strange because the past 30+ days have been really good. You hear that? 30 damn days of living my life without any problems / craves. I think possibly the fact that a member caved at 154 days in our group is the cause of this... who knows.

Anxiety is up today, wish I had a punching bag. 'blowup'

I know this is temporary, and I have plenty to be thankful for. I just wanted to vent a bit. Quit on, you crazy diamond.

[DonkeyMN]

Day 121 -

If you are reading this and you are a quitter just starting... keep the faith. A quit goes through many ups and downs. There are a lot of posts on here when people need help, and things are bad. But I wanted to take time to post when something is good. Our May 17 group is about done with the HOF. It is a time of reflection. Of appreciation of what I have done to this point. Not only that, but the funks that come and go, are getting fewer and farther between.

I am at a high point in the roller coaster now. I use fake dip yet, but mostly only when I drink, and at work once in a while. I go through a can about every 2 weeks. I can see myself being rid of it - which is nice. But I know to keep my mind even keel. I am not going to get cocky, overconfident... it can turn in an instant, be ready, this is the reality of nicotine free life.

I stand guard at the gates, waiting. waiting. protect the quit at all costs.

[DonkeyMN]

Just read your HOF speech. Damn. Powerful. Stuff.

I lost my father to pancreatic cancer far too long ago when he was far too young. But unlike you, I was stupid, as I continued to stuff my maw with Copenhagen as I watched him wilt away.

Other than that, I know how you feel. Hope you can find peace on this Mother's Day as she has now gone to be with her Father. (at least that's what I believe).

Thank you bud.

Yesterday was very..... well it was just weird, having to hold a good face for my wife and kids - because it was her day too. And I thought about my Mom probably 200 times, saddened.... just a damn emotional roller coaster.

Day 105 and QLF.

[CavMan83]

Just read your HOF speech. Damn. Powerful. Stuff.

I lost my father to pancreatic cancer far too long ago when he was far too young. But unlike you, I was stupid, as I continued to stuff my maw with Copenhagen as I watched him wilt away.

Other than that, I know how you feel. Hope you can find peace on this Mother's Day as she has now gone to be with her Father. (at least that's what I believe).