I quit again

[Dipchit]

I totally agree about that. I gave up a stop that lasted 14 years because a bud offered me a pinch. I hadn’t even thought of dip or had a craving for several years. I got Caught in that trap of
“Just one won’t hurt” but it turned into another 4 years of dipping. I would have had almost 18 years free this November if I hadn’t accepted that dip. Crazy times.

[MN_Engineer]

Yep! One day at a time. Anxiety can be crippling sometimes. It’s hard to imagine not having it while you are in the thick of it and on the flip side it’s hard to imagine having it when you don’t. Once I get past the anxiety I will have this quit mastered. I have not had a drop of alcohol in 9.5 years but the other evening while forcing myself to watch TV I actually wanted a beer

Those demons in our brain are always ready to pounce.

Your alcohol quit is impressive. But wanting a beer 9.5 years later proves our point here at KTC when we say that we are never cured; we never 'master' our quits (in the sense that we never have to worry about caving anymore). I've been around here long enough to watch people throw away quits anywhere from a couple hundred days to over 10 years. One wise quitter on here used to say "None of us are too quit to fail. None of us." We may have nicotine and/or alcohol by the nuts but complacency is a quit killer so we always have to actively fight these addictions. Some days the battle may be light but we always have to keep our guard up.

[Dipchit]

Yep! One day at a time. Anxiety can be crippling sometimes. It’s hard to imagine not having it while you are in the thick of it and on the flip side it’s hard to imagine having it when you don’t. Once I get past the anxiety I will have this quit mastered. I have not had a drop of alcohol in 9.5 years but the other evening while forcing myself to watch TV I actually wanted a beer

[MN_Engineer]

Day 68
Not much changed since yesterday so it’s just another day in withdrawal. Just going to take it one day at a time. No desire to dip at all. I had to fuel up my truck last night and when I went in to pay a saw all the cigs and cans behind the counter and it didn’t even bother me at all. No desire or craving. I guess the anxiety and depression is keeping me from wanting to dip the devils dirt.
I did have a reprieve from the anxiety last night after 8:00 and it felt good but it came back this morning as usual. I’m really surprised at how long the anxiety is taking to go away. I’m really trying to get this one day at a time thing in my head but I keep thinking about how long symptoms are going to last. I never had anxiety on my previous stops. I wasn’t even aware that it was a symptom of quitting dip. Well onwards we go one day at a time.

It's hard to focus on just today but since we can't change the future by worrying, there is no point expanding our focus beyond the current 24 hours we have. I've struggled with anxiety a bit over the course of my quit and sometimes I would give myself increased anxiety being anxious about future anxiety. Ground yourself in today and keep up the solid quit.

[Dipchit]

Day 68
Not much changed since yesterday so it’s just another day in withdrawal. Just going to take it one day at a time. No desire to dip at all. I had to fuel up my truck last night and when I went in to pay a saw all the cigs and cans behind the counter and it didn’t even bother me at all. No desire or craving. I guess the anxiety and depression is keeping me from wanting to dip the devils dirt.
I did have a reprieve from the anxiety last night after 8:00 and it felt good but it came back this morning as usual. I’m really surprised at how long the anxiety is taking to go away. I’m really trying to get this one day at a time thing in my head but I keep thinking about how long symptoms are going to last. I never had anxiety on my previous stops. I wasn’t even aware that it was a symptom of quitting dip. Well onwards we go one day at a time.

[Dipchit]

Sounds like good advice. Thank you. I was really blindsided this quit because the last 3 times I stopped dipping I had no withdrawal at all other than a little boredom that lasted a week or so then I just forgot all about dipping like it never happened. This time anxiety and depression hit me like a freight train on day 2. I thought I was going crazy and it couldn’t possibly be from quitting dip. Maybe it was because I’m older now. Anyway I never have to worry about going through withdrawal again because my lesson has been learned.
Thanks again for the advice.

[MN_Engineer]

Day 67
Not feeling to well today so far. Got some anxiety and depression going on. Not really bad but enough to feel like shit. Still zero craving and no desire to dip which is very good. It’s most likely my dopamine is still in re boot so it will take time. I have read in several places that there was a study done and it showed that it takes on average about 90 days for the reward center of the brain to recover and function normally. I’m so looking forward to that because I’m still feeling rather flat. What helps me mostly is thinking back week by week and remembering how bad I felt then compared to now and that’s how I see and feel the progress. I am definitely looking forward to deer hunting this fall so that is definitely progress.
Hope this helps someone just starting their journey. More updates to come.

I like the updates. One of the biggest things we push at KTC is the concept of 'one day at a time' (ODAAT). Don't worry about what Day 90 will bring. Always focus on TODAY. There are many peaks and valleys throughout the first few years of a person's quit. Worry about today and let tomorrow take care of itself. Erase any preconceived notions of what your quit and/or anxiety will be like in the future and focus 24 hours at a time.

[Dipchit]

Day 67
Not feeling to well today so far. Got some anxiety and depression going on. Not really bad but enough to feel like shit. Still zero craving and no desire to dip which is very good. It’s most likely my dopamine is still in re boot so it will take time. I have read in several places that there was a study done and it showed that it takes on average about 90 days for the reward center of the brain to recover and function normally. I’m so looking forward to that because I’m still feeling rather flat. What helps me mostly is thinking back week by week and remembering how bad I felt then compared to now and that’s how I see and feel the progress. I am definitely looking forward to deer hunting this fall so that is definitely progress.
Hope this helps someone just starting their journey. More updates to come.

[Dipchit]

Hey Dipchit,
This quit is the one that sticks because I have absolutely no cravings or desire to dip ever again. My previous stops I did involved zero withdrawal unlike my most recent and I never ever want to put myself through that again. Same with my drinking. I quit drinking cold turkey 9 and a half years ago and went through some withdrawal consisting of anxiety and depression as well as the shakes but it passed in less than 2 weeks. Haven’t touched a drop ever since. Again I have zero desire to dip again. Anxiety is fading away and life is coming back. I now have grandkids and I’m not going to be the grandpa that has to go hide to dip. Fuck that! I am very strong willed and I know deep down that dipping is forever in the past. I have developed a deep hatred for big tobacco and the nic bitch. It’s all good my friend. It’s over. Don’t need it to live. Again if anyone needs any advice or an ear to bend go ahead and post here. I’ll help you out. I’m here to help.
I've been reading through your posts here.  I am 55 years old, I dipped for 31 of those years and am proud to say I am 2,036 days nicotine free today.  Congrats on getting this far on your own.  I know it is not an easy trek.  One thing I would like to ask is, do you really think your wife doesn't know that you were dipping?  If you've been married to her for more than five years, I guarantee you she knows.  My advice to you is to come clean to her.  What kind of relationship can you truly have with her if it is based on a lie.  That's what you are doing, you are lying to her by not telling her the truth and laying it all out on the table.  If you are willing to lie to her, then what's stopping you from lying to a bunch of strangers on the internet as to whether or not you are truly quit?

Food for thought my friend.

Mn_Engineer and Keith0617 are both kings of quit and have saved my ass more than a time or two.  Listen to their advice regardless of of you feel about it.  This is not a place that panders to feelings.  We are far from politically correct.  Frankly, we don't give a shit about your feelings.  We are trying to save your life, period. 

If you want extra accountability, PM me for my phone number and I would be happy to text and/or call every day to make sure you keep your daily promise to be quit.  That is how we roll here, we make a promise each and every day to remain quit for that day.  We don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow is today,  ODAAT (One Day at a Time).

I would say good luck in your quit, but there is no luck involved.  Instead I will say, I expect a PM with your phone number.

Chris

No she doesn’t know and will never need to know. The reason I know she didn’t is that if she did I would be pulling her shoe out of my ass as I was getting ready to fill out divorce papers. Nope we’re all good here Chris. We are happy and I’m a former dipper that will never dabble with the devils dirt again. I appreciate the offer of support from you but I’m a big strong willed man and I don’t need my hand held to stay away from dip. It’s in my past forever and never again will it be in my future. I’m just here to offer support and advice to anyone who is struggling with their quit.
Thanks again but no.

You said it's in your past 'forever' but based on the history you've shared, I don't understand why the future would magically be suddenly different than your past. What is going keep this 'quit' different than any of your previous stoppages?

[MN_Engineer]

Hey Dipchit,

I've been reading through your posts here.  I am 55 years old, I dipped for 31 of those years and am proud to say I am 2,036 days nicotine free today.  Congrats on getting this far on your own.  I know it is not an easy trek.  One thing I would like to ask is, do you really think your wife doesn't know that you were dipping?  If you've been married to her for more than five years, I guarantee you she knows.  My advice to you is to come clean to her.  What kind of relationship can you truly have with her if it is based on a lie.  That's what you are doing, you are lying to her by not telling her the truth and laying it all out on the table.  If you are willing to lie to her, then what's stopping you from lying to a bunch of strangers on the internet as to whether or not you are truly quit?

Food for thought my friend.

Mn_Engineer and Keith0617 are both kings of quit and have saved my ass more than a time or two.  Listen to their advice regardless of of you feel about it.  This is not a place that panders to feelings.  We are far from politically correct.  Frankly, we don't give a shit about your feelings.  We are trying to save your life, period. 

If you want extra accountability, PM me for my phone number and I would be happy to text and/or call every day to make sure you keep your daily promise to be quit.  That is how we roll here, we make a promise each and every day to remain quit for that day.  We don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow is today,  ODAAT (One Day at a Time).

I would say good luck in your quit, but there is no luck involved.  Instead I will say, I expect a PM with your phone number.

Chris

No she doesn’t know and will never need to know. The reason I know she didn’t is that if she did I would be pulling her shoe out of my ass as I was getting ready to fill out divorce papers. Nope we’re all good here Chris. We are happy and I’m a former dipper that will never dabble with the devils dirt again. I appreciate the offer of support from you but I’m a big strong willed man and I don’t need my hand held to stay away from dip. It’s in my past forever and never again will it be in my future. I’m just here to offer support and advice to anyone who is struggling with their quit.
Thanks again but no.

You said it's in your past 'forever' but based on the history you've shared, I don't understand why the future would magically be suddenly different than your past. What is going keep this 'quit' different than any of your previous stoppages?

[Dipchit]

Hey Dipchit,

I've been reading through your posts here.  I am 55 years old, I dipped for 31 of those years and am proud to say I am 2,036 days nicotine free today.  Congrats on getting this far on your own.  I know it is not an easy trek.  One thing I would like to ask is, do you really think your wife doesn't know that you were dipping?  If you've been married to her for more than five years, I guarantee you she knows.  My advice to you is to come clean to her.  What kind of relationship can you truly have with her if it is based on a lie.  That's what you are doing, you are lying to her by not telling her the truth and laying it all out on the table.  If you are willing to lie to her, then what's stopping you from lying to a bunch of strangers on the internet as to whether or not you are truly quit?

Food for thought my friend.

Mn_Engineer and Keith0617 are both kings of quit and have saved my ass more than a time or two.  Listen to their advice regardless of of you feel about it.  This is not a place that panders to feelings.  We are far from politically correct.  Frankly, we don't give a shit about your feelings.  We are trying to save your life, period. 

If you want extra accountability, PM me for my phone number and I would be happy to text and/or call every day to make sure you keep your daily promise to be quit.  That is how we roll here, we make a promise each and every day to remain quit for that day.  We don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow is today,  ODAAT (One Day at a Time).

I would say good luck in your quit, but there is no luck involved.  Instead I will say, I expect a PM with your phone number.

Chris

No she doesn’t know and will never need to know. The reason I know she didn’t is that if she did I would be pulling her shoe out of my ass as I was getting ready to fill out divorce papers. Nope we’re all good here Chris. We are happy and I’m a former dipper that will never dabble with the devils dirt again. I appreciate the offer of support from you but I’m a big strong willed man and I don’t need my hand held to stay away from dip. It’s in my past forever and never again will it be in my future. I’m just here to offer support and advice to anyone who is struggling with their quit.
Thanks again but no.

[Dipchit]

Thanks for the offer Chris but I’m good.
Anyway I’m now on Day 66 and zero craving and only about two hours of weak anxiety yesterday. I’m really hoping things are improving and keep heading in that direction. When I think I’m really feeling like shit I think back to the first couple of weeks and how agonizing it was. It’s a good reminder that I’m way better now than then. I’m finding that music therapy is working wonders for my moods. I like a combination of 90s country and 80s rock. Music is a great dopamine boost as and so is weight lifting. I have increased my strength and endurance quite noticeably since my quit. The brain loves exercise. That’s all I got for now. If anyone wants advice or encouragement I’m here for you all.

[chris2alaska]

Hey Dipchit,

I've been reading through your posts here.  I am 55 years old, I dipped for 31 of those years and am proud to say I am 2,036 days nicotine free today.  Congrats on getting this far on your own.  I know it is not an easy trek.  One thing I would like to ask is, do you really think your wife doesn't know that you were dipping?  If you've been married to her for more than five years, I guarantee you she knows.  My advice to you is to come clean to her.  What kind of relationship can you truly have with her if it is based on a lie.  That's what you are doing, you are lying to her by not telling her the truth and laying it all out on the table.  If you are willing to lie to her, then what's stopping you from lying to a bunch of strangers on the internet as to whether or not you are truly quit?

Food for thought my friend.

Mn_Engineer and Keith0617 are both kings of quit and have saved my ass more than a time or two.  Listen to their advice regardless of of you feel about it.  This is not a place that panders to feelings.  We are far from politically correct.  Frankly, we don't give a shit about your feelings.  We are trying to save your life, period. 

If you want extra accountability, PM me for my phone number and I would be happy to text and/or call every day to make sure you keep your daily promise to be quit.  That is how we roll here, we make a promise each and every day to remain quit for that day.  We don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow is today,  ODAAT (One Day at a Time).

I would say good luck in your quit, but there is no luck involved.  Instead I will say, I expect a PM with your phone number.

Chris

[Dipchit]

Day 65
Last night the anxiety was almost nonexistent after 4:00 pm. That surprises me because it is usually bad in the late afternoon. It’s nice getting these breaks from anxiety and depression because up until a couple weeks ago it was mostly constant. Hopefully this indicates that I’m turning a corner for the better. As I type this it’s mid morning and I have some anxiety but it’s tolerable. My cravings are hopefully long gone. Haven’t craved nicotine for about a month now but I did have a little craving for a beer. That surprised me because I haven’t had a beer since January of 2014.

[Dipchit]

I’m not gonna worry about that unless it happens. I have been to the dentist and doctor and got a clean bill of health from both. Doesn’t mean something won’t creep in years from now but I’m not gonna dwell on it. Yes I agree about hating the addiction. I do hate big tobacco and the nic bitch. I never promised myself before I would never dip again but this time I have. My previous stops were only because it was to expensive and I was putting my kid through college but now it’s because I’m concerned about my longevity so like I said before I know I will never dip again. I won’t do what I don’t crave. Big tobacco can kiss my ass and so can the nic bitch. I said the same to big alcohol 10 years ago and haven’t touched a drop since.