Day 688 and I'm quit.
Just got home from the Midwest Meet, and man, what an eye opening, life changing thing for me. I brought my girlfriend who I've been dating for 3 months. I brought an open mind, open heart, and hunger for fellowship. I was not disappointed. I almost didn't go. If Amber hadn't already made arrangements for her kids way in advance, I might have bailed. But she did, and we didn't. A lot of people did bail. It was a small meetup. And it was exactly what I needed. I got to know a handful of quitters on a much deeper level. I got closer to God. It sealed my thoughts on Amber as the one that was meant for me. I got to know Rewire deeper than just as a casual acquaintance and we formed a bond through our walk with Christ. I got closer to Brad and Kent and two Michael's and John. And Pickles. Amber found a soul sister in Rewire's wife. It was a perfect weekend on a lot of levels and my heart is full. I have a few takeaways that I'd like to jot down here.
1. When you feel that call to go, do, open up, call somebody, take a trip, whatever, do it. There may be a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow that you'd totally miss out on if you didn't.
2. God is very alive in my life now...I'm a changed and much different person than I was even a couple months ago. A LOT different than I was at the last Midwest meet. This isn't a bad thing. I'm alive and happy.
3. We all came to KTC to get better. Nicotine might have been the first step in this process or it may have been one of the last. Nicotine is a powerful drug that we all need accountability to fight, but we never know where that other person is on their walk with beating the demons in their life. I've been known to operate out of malice and rage in the past which has probably pushed people away, but when we walk as Christ did and we operate out of love, we do the most good. It's hard to do when we're in the fog and in the suck and far from me to tell others what to do...but that's the route I want to take.
4. Nicotine was the start for me. Going to work on my weight next. Quitting drinking for a while. Deleted Groupme because it was just a drain on my free time. Strengthing my relationship with the living God. Bonding harder with Amber and her kids, and blending them into my and Zoe's life. Figuring out how to heal, get stronger, and become fulfilled in all ways.
I'm not leaving KTC, but I'm stepping back a little. It's these new guys time to jump in there and rile people up. I might from time to time, but I'm a lot more interested in forging deep relationships with a few quitters than jumping on the war horse and riding into battle. Above all else on KTC, quit means everything. No matter how you go about it, it's the end result that matters. I'm not sure I'll ever quit posting roll, so see y'all on the boards.
