Author Topic: Introduction  (Read 36665 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline ChickDip

  • Hall of Fame Conductor
  • Master of Quit
  • ***
  • Posts: 44,854
  • July 2015 Jackals
    • HOF speech
  • Quit Date: 3/30/2015
  • Interests: (July2015 Quit Group) ((7-07-2015 100 days)) ....Quit Day March 30.... Fish Slaying, Hunting, Camping, Hiking, Mtn Biking, Cooking, Sammich-making, Poker, movies, watching Pro Baseball, anything outdoors
  • Likes Given: 2035
Re: Introduction
« Reply #201 on: May 03, 2017, 12:09:00 AM »
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: KingNothing
Congrats PKY! You've been a stellar presence here and have a way with words to reach newbs and vets alike. You make this place better every day and you should be damn proud of that first lap. Keep it up!
I've never interacted with this bad ass quitter, but it is obvious that you are the real deal. It gets better from where you are. Quitting isn't fun. Winning is. And every day that you quit you win. The quitting takes less effort, and the winning keeps getting better.

Nice picture from your fishing trip too!
Congrats on 1 year quit!
So glad your still here.
Many are fortunate your have you supporting them!
I know I am.
July 2015 Jackals - House of WUPP
"....the load doesn't weigh me down at all, he ain't heavy he's my brother"
Try to believe that you are worth more than you think, and others are worth more than you think.
"If you haven't... Quit now......If you have... Stay that way " ~AppleJack
"Make It Through Today" WarE2013 (Rest Easy)
"I am quit... for today... with you... but not FOR you" ~LBP
"Endeavor to Persevere!" Lone Waite

my intro / my HOF speech / my comma club
Building a Strong Quit / My HOF Day

Offline worktowin

  • Moderator (Retired)
  • Master of Quit
  • *****
  • Posts: 26,963
  • Interests: GymWorkTravel
  • Likes Given: 106
Re: Introduction
« Reply #200 on: May 02, 2017, 09:45:00 PM »
Quote from: KingNothing
Congrats PKY! You've been a stellar presence here and have a way with words to reach newbs and vets alike. You make this place better every day and you should be damn proud of that first lap. Keep it up!
I've never interacted with this bad ass quitter, but it is obvious that you are the real deal. It gets better from where you are. Quitting isn't fun. Winning is. And every day that you quit you win. The quitting takes less effort, and the winning keeps getting better.

Nice picture from your fishing trip too!

Offline KingNothing

  • Master of Quit
  • *******
  • Posts: 22,154
  • Quit Date: 2015-07-10
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: Introduction
« Reply #199 on: May 02, 2017, 03:18:00 PM »
Congrats PKY! You've been a stellar presence here and have a way with words to reach newbs and vets alike. You make this place better every day and you should be damn proud of that first lap. Keep it up!
"Fuck nicotine dude. You don't need it. And you don't want it. It didn't do a thing for you and you know it." - worktowin
"today you dissided that shit wont control your life. and it wont. unless you let it." - drome
"Not thinking about nicotine is for people who've never used nicotine. We threw that option away with the first dip or drag on a cigarette. We are addicts, and cannot become un-addicted." - wildirish317
"You need to decide how much you really want to be quit." - pky1520
We are always at risk. And probably always will be. That is why I will never get "too quit" to post my +1. Every. Damn. Day. - geis2597

Intro
Freedom Tastes So Good

Quit: 7/10/15, HOF: 10/17/15, 2nd Floor: 1/25/16, 3rd Floor: 5/4/16, 1 year: 7/10/16 4th Floor: 8/12/16, 5th Floor: 11/20/16, 6th Floor: 2/28/17, 7th Floor: 6/8/17, 2 years: 7/10/17, 8th Floor: 9/16/17, 9th Floor: 12/25/17, Comma: 4/4/18, 3 years: 7/10/18, 11th Floor: 7/13/18

Offline pky1520

  • Moderator (Retired)
  • Quitting MoFo
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,354
  • Quit Date: May 2, 2016
  • Interests: Hunting, fishing
  • Likes Given: 84
Re: Introduction
« Reply #198 on: May 02, 2017, 10:33:00 AM »
On May 2, 2016 I spit out my last dip. The action was entirely anti-climactic. A movement of my hand, a swish with some water and a spit into a bottle. I'd done the same maneuver thousands of times, over many years - more than a third of the years in my life.

At the time, I didn't really believe that this would truly be my last dip. It hadn't even been a particularly good one. Just a standard, mid-morning pinch. But it was the last left in the can, and I had told myself that I wouldn't be buying another. But again, I had been here many times before and didn't really believe it.

As per usual, I was able to go a few days, white-knuckling through the pain and tension. But on day 5 or so, I broke down. Got in my truck and turned the key. However, I did not take the truck out of park. I sat there for a few minutes on the verge of panic. This was it, this was the moment where I either stood my ground or remained a stinking addict for the rest of my life - a life destroyed by my own actions.

This time, I turned the key again, removed it from the ignition and went back inside. I had remembered finding KTC one time several years back, during some brief stoppage. At that time, I dismissed it out of hand and went on to repeated failure. This time however, I swallowed my pride and posted this intro.

The rest is already here. Go back a few pages and see how it's turned out. In the last year, I've gotten married, bought a business and bought a house. I've done it all dip free. There were certainly some extreme struggles, but nothing unique or special to me. Everyone here has gone through the same or worse.

I've been on roll before breakfast every single day since finding KTC. It's a part of my day. If I'm not on roll by 10am, I damn sure will be getting some texts. I welcome that, I need that.

I owe everything to my friends, brothers and sisters on this site. I would not have succeeded on my own. Thank you for making this possible. Thank you for fighting with me.

To anyone reading this from the other side, this can be your story too. Post your promise, keep it, dig in.

I will see you all on roll tomorrow.

Offline pab1964

  • Family
  • Master of Quit
  • *******
  • Posts: 70,440
  • Loving the quit life
  • Interests: God family crappie fishing
  • Likes Given: 85
Re: Introduction
« Reply #197 on: May 01, 2017, 04:21:00 PM »
Quote from: Richard
Congrats on the year mark brother!!! Badassery right there!!!
Congratulations on the trip around the sun! Damn proud to call you a friend and brother!
Tobacco is so addictive it took me a year after a massive heart attack, in which doctor confirmed caused from dipping to finally put a lid on the bitch! ODAAT EDD

Offline Richard K

  • Admin (Retired)
  • Quit King
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,362
  • Bald headed, vertically challenged leaping gnome
  • Quit Date: 28-Mar-2016
  • Interests: All Pittsburgh sports!! and my family
  • Likes Given: 790
Re: Introduction
« Reply #196 on: May 01, 2017, 11:10:00 AM »
Congrats on the year mark brother!!! Badassery right there!!!
FLOOR.. 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10..11..12...13..14..15..16..17..18..19

It is very simple! We quit for today! We wake up! Do it again tomorrow!! One day at a time!
We walk in each others quit shoes, it may be a little different but ultimately the same exact thing

"Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers."

Offline baseballbrett

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 3,581
  • Likes Given: 45
Re: Introduction
« Reply #195 on: May 01, 2017, 10:12:00 AM »
Congrats on one lap around the sun Ryan! You have been a rock solid quitter, and you just get it. Keep being a badass and a leader for others.

Offline KingNothing

  • Master of Quit
  • *******
  • Posts: 22,154
  • Quit Date: 2015-07-10
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: Introduction
« Reply #194 on: April 12, 2017, 03:10:00 PM »
Quote from: pky1520
According to the bottom of the screen there are 99 guests viewing the Into page and it's not even 5am.

GO DUMP YOUR CAN IN THE TOILET.
COME UP WITH SOME DUMB SCREEN NAME.
SIGN UP FOR KTC.
POST YOUR OWN INTRO.
POST ROLL IN THE JULY QUIT GROUP.
FINALLY BE FREE.
This is one BAQ talking. He (along with Nike) is right. Just do it. You can't comprehend right now how much better your life will be once you remove this ball and chain.
"Fuck nicotine dude. You don't need it. And you don't want it. It didn't do a thing for you and you know it." - worktowin
"today you dissided that shit wont control your life. and it wont. unless you let it." - drome
"Not thinking about nicotine is for people who've never used nicotine. We threw that option away with the first dip or drag on a cigarette. We are addicts, and cannot become un-addicted." - wildirish317
"You need to decide how much you really want to be quit." - pky1520
We are always at risk. And probably always will be. That is why I will never get "too quit" to post my +1. Every. Damn. Day. - geis2597

Intro
Freedom Tastes So Good

Quit: 7/10/15, HOF: 10/17/15, 2nd Floor: 1/25/16, 3rd Floor: 5/4/16, 1 year: 7/10/16 4th Floor: 8/12/16, 5th Floor: 11/20/16, 6th Floor: 2/28/17, 7th Floor: 6/8/17, 2 years: 7/10/17, 8th Floor: 9/16/17, 9th Floor: 12/25/17, Comma: 4/4/18, 3 years: 7/10/18, 11th Floor: 7/13/18

Offline pky1520

  • Moderator (Retired)
  • Quitting MoFo
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,354
  • Quit Date: May 2, 2016
  • Interests: Hunting, fishing
  • Likes Given: 84
Re: Introduction
« Reply #193 on: April 11, 2017, 04:57:00 AM »
According to the bottom of the screen there are 99 guests viewing the Into page and it's not even 5am.

GO DUMP YOUR CAN IN THE TOILET.
COME UP WITH SOME DUMB SCREEN NAME.
SIGN UP FOR KTC.
POST YOUR OWN INTRO.
POST ROLL IN THE JULY QUIT GROUP.
FINALLY BE FREE.

Offline ChickDip

  • Hall of Fame Conductor
  • Master of Quit
  • ***
  • Posts: 44,854
  • July 2015 Jackals
    • HOF speech
  • Quit Date: 3/30/2015
  • Interests: (July2015 Quit Group) ((7-07-2015 100 days)) ....Quit Day March 30.... Fish Slaying, Hunting, Camping, Hiking, Mtn Biking, Cooking, Sammich-making, Poker, movies, watching Pro Baseball, anything outdoors
  • Likes Given: 2035
Re: Introduction
« Reply #192 on: February 26, 2017, 04:22:00 PM »
Quote from: Mike1966
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Stranger999
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: pky1520
It's been a little while since I've posted in the Intro, but Day 300 seems fitting for an update. I'm on my phone here, so this won't be as deep as I had intended, but bear with me.

300 days has really been a journey. It's been an absolutely life changing experience. Through the initial phase of brutal trench warfare, the excitement of reaching the HOF, the depressive doldrums of the mid 100s, the uncertainty / boredom of the 200s and now something of a false sense of completion.

I have experienced such different and distinct phases, but the one consistent measure that has kept me balanced is my commitment to be on roll first thing every damn day.

In my current phase, my quit has felt good, easy, secure. Nicotine is not on my mind. When I'm stressed, I have other ways to cope; when I'm bored, I don't reach for the can; when I'm having fun, I don't feel like things would be even better with a big ole chaw. Those statements are true 99% of the time.

... But that other 1%...

That other 1% of the time, I still get that white knuckle panic. A sharp, strong urge to throw it all away. A sad or overwhelmed feeling when I think about "never again." Or just a passing curiosity "what would a dip be like after all this time?" Maybe it's a sight or smell or memory that causes it. Not sure, but when it hits, it takes my brain someplace completely different.

That's why that daily promise and my connection with the community is still vitally important. It's not for the 99% of the time when I am going about my business like I was never an addict, it's that 1% when my vulnerable, addict brain starts to boil to the surface. The Nic Bitch is still there, still trying. She's looking for that combination of factors where stress, curiosity and opportunity all combine to create a situation where I'm open to using again.

That's why I take that opportunity off the table first thing, every damn day. It worked at day 6 and it works at day 300.

There's no doubt that I haven't been as active here in recent months. Frankly I can't keep up with the pace of the new groups and intros and groupme and all that goes with it. I've scaled back my involvement, but I still try to stay involved. This site has given me a new life and I will continue to give back as I can.

To those folks who are just starting their journey, or debating whether to try, THIS SYSTEM WORKS. There is no finish line exactly, you have to keep fighting, but there is freedom and there is light ahead.

Thanks to those who have supported me and quit beside me. Keep fighting and I will see you on roll tomorrow.
Congratulations on 300 my friend!
Well said! I think after a lot of days we all start looking around and thinking "why not?" every now and then. We only think that because we are addicts.

Congrats on 300 days! :)
Congratulations sir!

300 feels good, but brighter days are ahead. Those 1% days get fewer, farther between, and the white knuckles start to tan. The need to post roll and it's place or importance... that my friend actually becomes more important. We failed ourselves individually for years, usually decades. Failing a team and the connections/friends on this site becomes a deeper motivator in time.

You are killing it. Well done!
Well said PKY! I'm right there with you. Congrats on the 3rd floor! Keep racking up those milestones!
Congrats pea on 300!!
July 2015 Jackals - House of WUPP
"....the load doesn't weigh me down at all, he ain't heavy he's my brother"
Try to believe that you are worth more than you think, and others are worth more than you think.
"If you haven't... Quit now......If you have... Stay that way " ~AppleJack
"Make It Through Today" WarE2013 (Rest Easy)
"I am quit... for today... with you... but not FOR you" ~LBP
"Endeavor to Persevere!" Lone Waite

my intro / my HOF speech / my comma club
Building a Strong Quit / My HOF Day

Offline Mike1966

  • Hall of Fame Conductor
  • Master of Quit
  • ***
  • Posts: 23,570
  • Quit Date: 4/18/2016
  • Likes Given: 77
Re: Introduction
« Reply #191 on: February 26, 2017, 09:50:00 AM »
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Stranger999
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: pky1520
It's been a little while since I've posted in the Intro, but Day 300 seems fitting for an update. I'm on my phone here, so this won't be as deep as I had intended, but bear with me.

300 days has really been a journey. It's been an absolutely life changing experience. Through the initial phase of brutal trench warfare, the excitement of reaching the HOF, the depressive doldrums of the mid 100s, the uncertainty / boredom of the 200s and now something of a false sense of completion.

I have experienced such different and distinct phases, but the one consistent measure that has kept me balanced is my commitment to be on roll first thing every damn day.

In my current phase, my quit has felt good, easy, secure. Nicotine is not on my mind. When I'm stressed, I have other ways to cope; when I'm bored, I don't reach for the can; when I'm having fun, I don't feel like things would be even better with a big ole chaw. Those statements are true 99% of the time.

... But that other 1%...

That other 1% of the time, I still get that white knuckle panic. A sharp, strong urge to throw it all away. A sad or overwhelmed feeling when I think about "never again." Or just a passing curiosity "what would a dip be like after all this time?" Maybe it's a sight or smell or memory that causes it. Not sure, but when it hits, it takes my brain someplace completely different.

That's why that daily promise and my connection with the community is still vitally important. It's not for the 99% of the time when I am going about my business like I was never an addict, it's that 1% when my vulnerable, addict brain starts to boil to the surface. The Nic Bitch is still there, still trying. She's looking for that combination of factors where stress, curiosity and opportunity all combine to create a situation where I'm open to using again.

That's why I take that opportunity off the table first thing, every damn day. It worked at day 6 and it works at day 300.

There's no doubt that I haven't been as active here in recent months. Frankly I can't keep up with the pace of the new groups and intros and groupme and all that goes with it. I've scaled back my involvement, but I still try to stay involved. This site has given me a new life and I will continue to give back as I can.

To those folks who are just starting their journey, or debating whether to try, THIS SYSTEM WORKS. There is no finish line exactly, you have to keep fighting, but there is freedom and there is light ahead.

Thanks to those who have supported me and quit beside me. Keep fighting and I will see you on roll tomorrow.
Congratulations on 300 my friend!
Well said! I think after a lot of days we all start looking around and thinking "why not?" every now and then. We only think that because we are addicts.

Congrats on 300 days! :)
Congratulations sir!

300 feels good, but brighter days are ahead. Those 1% days get fewer, farther between, and the white knuckles start to tan. The need to post roll and it's place or importance... that my friend actually becomes more important. We failed ourselves individually for years, usually decades. Failing a team and the connections/friends on this site becomes a deeper motivator in time.

You are killing it. Well done!
Well said PKY! I'm right there with you. Congrats on the 3rd floor! Keep racking up those milestones!
Just one and you will be back where you started.
And where you started was desperately wishing
you were where you are right now.

Offline worktowin

  • Moderator (Retired)
  • Master of Quit
  • *****
  • Posts: 26,963
  • Interests: GymWorkTravel
  • Likes Given: 106
Re: Introduction
« Reply #190 on: February 25, 2017, 11:10:00 PM »
Quote from: Stranger999
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: pky1520
It's been a little while since I've posted in the Intro, but Day 300 seems fitting for an update. I'm on my phone here, so this won't be as deep as I had intended, but bear with me.

300 days has really been a journey. It's been an absolutely life changing experience. Through the initial phase of brutal trench warfare, the excitement of reaching the HOF, the depressive doldrums of the mid 100s, the uncertainty / boredom of the 200s and now something of a false sense of completion.

I have experienced such different and distinct phases, but the one consistent measure that has kept me balanced is my commitment to be on roll first thing every damn day.

In my current phase, my quit has felt good, easy, secure. Nicotine is not on my mind. When I'm stressed, I have other ways to cope; when I'm bored, I don't reach for the can; when I'm having fun, I don't feel like things would be even better with a big ole chaw. Those statements are true 99% of the time.

... But that other 1%...

That other 1% of the time, I still get that white knuckle panic. A sharp, strong urge to throw it all away. A sad or overwhelmed feeling when I think about "never again." Or just a passing curiosity "what would a dip be like after all this time?" Maybe it's a sight or smell or memory that causes it. Not sure, but when it hits, it takes my brain someplace completely different.

That's why that daily promise and my connection with the community is still vitally important. It's not for the 99% of the time when I am going about my business like I was never an addict, it's that 1% when my vulnerable, addict brain starts to boil to the surface. The Nic Bitch is still there, still trying. She's looking for that combination of factors where stress, curiosity and opportunity all combine to create a situation where I'm open to using again.

That's why I take that opportunity off the table first thing, every damn day. It worked at day 6 and it works at day 300.

There's no doubt that I haven't been as active here in recent months. Frankly I can't keep up with the pace of the new groups and intros and groupme and all that goes with it. I've scaled back my involvement, but I still try to stay involved. This site has given me a new life and I will continue to give back as I can.

To those folks who are just starting their journey, or debating whether to try, THIS SYSTEM WORKS. There is no finish line exactly, you have to keep fighting, but there is freedom and there is light ahead.

Thanks to those who have supported me and quit beside me. Keep fighting and I will see you on roll tomorrow.
Congratulations on 300 my friend!
Well said! I think after a lot of days we all start looking around and thinking "why not?" every now and then. We only think that because we are addicts.

Congrats on 300 days! :)
Congratulations sir!

300 feels good, but brighter days are ahead. Those 1% days get fewer, farther between, and the white knuckles start to tan. The need to post roll and it's place or importance... that my friend actually becomes more important. We failed ourselves individually for years, usually decades. Failing a team and the connections/friends on this site becomes a deeper motivator in time.

You are killing it. Well done!

Offline Stranger999

  • Hall of Fame Conductor
  • Master of Quit
  • ***
  • Posts: 29,801
  • Quit Date: 09/05/2015
  • Interests: Taking that first breath every morning before I post roll again.... Family, Philadelphia Eagles football, music, computers, solving puzzles of all sorts
  • Likes Given: 244
Re: Introduction
« Reply #189 on: February 25, 2017, 11:00:00 PM »
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: pky1520
It's been a little while since I've posted in the Intro, but Day 300 seems fitting for an update. I'm on my phone here, so this won't be as deep as I had intended, but bear with me.

300 days has really been a journey. It's been an absolutely life changing experience. Through the initial phase of brutal trench warfare, the excitement of reaching the HOF, the depressive doldrums of the mid 100s, the uncertainty / boredom of the 200s and now something of a false sense of completion.

I have experienced such different and distinct phases, but the one consistent measure that has kept me balanced is my commitment to be on roll first thing every damn day.

In my current phase, my quit has felt good, easy, secure. Nicotine is not on my mind. When I'm stressed, I have other ways to cope; when I'm bored, I don't reach for the can; when I'm having fun, I don't feel like things would be even better with a big ole chaw. Those statements are true 99% of the time.

... But that other 1%...

That other 1% of the time, I still get that white knuckle panic. A sharp, strong urge to throw it all away. A sad or overwhelmed feeling when I think about "never again." Or just a passing curiosity "what would a dip be like after all this time?" Maybe it's a sight or smell or memory that causes it. Not sure, but when it hits, it takes my brain someplace completely different.

That's why that daily promise and my connection with the community is still vitally important. It's not for the 99% of the time when I am going about my business like I was never an addict, it's that 1% when my vulnerable, addict brain starts to boil to the surface. The Nic Bitch is still there, still trying. She's looking for that combination of factors where stress, curiosity and opportunity all combine to create a situation where I'm open to using again.

That's why I take that opportunity off the table first thing, every damn day. It worked at day 6 and it works at day 300.

There's no doubt that I haven't been as active here in recent months. Frankly I can't keep up with the pace of the new groups and intros and groupme and all that goes with it. I've scaled back my involvement, but I still try to stay involved. This site has given me a new life and I will continue to give back as I can.

To those folks who are just starting their journey, or debating whether to try, THIS SYSTEM WORKS. There is no finish line exactly, you have to keep fighting, but there is freedom and there is light ahead.

Thanks to those who have supported me and quit beside me. Keep fighting and I will see you on roll tomorrow.
Congratulations on 300 my friend!
Well said! I think after a lot of days we all start looking around and thinking "why not?" every now and then. We only think that because we are addicts.

Congrats on 300 days! :)

Offline pab1964

  • Family
  • Master of Quit
  • *******
  • Posts: 70,440
  • Loving the quit life
  • Interests: God family crappie fishing
  • Likes Given: 85
Re: Introduction
« Reply #188 on: February 25, 2017, 07:43:00 PM »
Quote from: pky1520
It's been a little while since I've posted in the Intro, but Day 300 seems fitting for an update. I'm on my phone here, so this won't be as deep as I had intended, but bear with me.

300 days has really been a journey. It's been an absolutely life changing experience. Through the initial phase of brutal trench warfare, the excitement of reaching the HOF, the depressive doldrums of the mid 100s, the uncertainty / boredom of the 200s and now something of a false sense of completion.

I have experienced such different and distinct phases, but the one consistent measure that has kept me balanced is my commitment to be on roll first thing every damn day.

In my current phase, my quit has felt good, easy, secure. Nicotine is not on my mind. When I'm stressed, I have other ways to cope; when I'm bored, I don't reach for the can; when I'm having fun, I don't feel like things would be even better with a big ole chaw. Those statements are true 99% of the time.

... But that other 1%...

That other 1% of the time, I still get that white knuckle panic. A sharp, strong urge to throw it all away. A sad or overwhelmed feeling when I think about "never again." Or just a passing curiosity "what would a dip be like after all this time?" Maybe it's a sight or smell or memory that causes it. Not sure, but when it hits, it takes my brain someplace completely different.

That's why that daily promise and my connection with the community is still vitally important. It's not for the 99% of the time when I am going about my business like I was never an addict, it's that 1% when my vulnerable, addict brain starts to boil to the surface. The Nic Bitch is still there, still trying. She's looking for that combination of factors where stress, curiosity and opportunity all combine to create a situation where I'm open to using again.

That's why I take that opportunity off the table first thing, every damn day. It worked at day 6 and it works at day 300.

There's no doubt that I haven't been as active here in recent months. Frankly I can't keep up with the pace of the new groups and intros and groupme and all that goes with it. I've scaled back my involvement, but I still try to stay involved. This site has given me a new life and I will continue to give back as I can.

To those folks who are just starting their journey, or debating whether to try, THIS SYSTEM WORKS. There is no finish line exactly, you have to keep fighting, but there is freedom and there is light ahead.

Thanks to those who have supported me and quit beside me. Keep fighting and I will see you on roll tomorrow.
Congratulations on 300 my friend!
Tobacco is so addictive it took me a year after a massive heart attack, in which doctor confirmed caused from dipping to finally put a lid on the bitch! ODAAT EDD

Offline pky1520

  • Moderator (Retired)
  • Quitting MoFo
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,354
  • Quit Date: May 2, 2016
  • Interests: Hunting, fishing
  • Likes Given: 84
Re: Introduction
« Reply #187 on: February 25, 2017, 07:18:00 AM »
It's been a little while since I've posted in the Intro, but Day 300 seems fitting for an update. I'm on my phone here, so this won't be as deep as I had intended, but bear with me.

300 days has really been a journey. It's been an absolutely life changing experience. Through the initial phase of brutal trench warfare, the excitement of reaching the HOF, the depressive doldrums of the mid 100s, the uncertainty / boredom of the 200s and now something of a false sense of completion.

I have experienced such different and distinct phases, but the one consistent measure that has kept me balanced is my commitment to be on roll first thing every damn day.

In my current phase, my quit has felt good, easy, secure. Nicotine is not on my mind. When I'm stressed, I have other ways to cope; when I'm bored, I don't reach for the can; when I'm having fun, I don't feel like things would be even better with a big ole chaw. Those statements are true 99% of the time.

... But that other 1%...

That other 1% of the time, I still get that white knuckle panic. A sharp, strong urge to throw it all away. A sad or overwhelmed feeling when I think about "never again." Or just a passing curiosity "what would a dip be like after all this time?" Maybe it's a sight or smell or memory that causes it. Not sure, but when it hits, it takes my brain someplace completely different.

That's why that daily promise and my connection with the community is still vitally important. It's not for the 99% of the time when I am going about my business like I was never an addict, it's that 1% when my vulnerable, addict brain starts to boil to the surface. The Nic Bitch is still there, still trying. She's looking for that combination of factors where stress, curiosity and opportunity all combine to create a situation where I'm open to using again.

That's why I take that opportunity off the table first thing, every damn day. It worked at day 6 and it works at day 300.

There's no doubt that I haven't been as active here in recent months. Frankly I can't keep up with the pace of the new groups and intros and groupme and all that goes with it. I've scaled back my involvement, but I still try to stay involved. This site has given me a new life and I will continue to give back as I can.

To those folks who are just starting their journey, or debating whether to try, THIS SYSTEM WORKS. There is no finish line exactly, you have to keep fighting, but there is freedom and there is light ahead.

Thanks to those who have supported me and quit beside me. Keep fighting and I will see you on roll tomorrow.