Day one

[olcpo]

Day 57 - Interesting "feeling" across the site as I am posting roll this morning. I sense for some the Honeymoon is over. The beginning of the grind. The symptoms/craves/urges have subsided to a point that other things are invading the sacred space set aside for KTC. Life, family, work, "a break", memory lapse (indicating an alternative higher priority) are all surfacing among us. Is this where we forget the screaming demon monkey that lived on our backs that brought us here? T

Quite possible the best summary yet on the mid HOF doldrums.  Yeah, it is a grind and yeah, there's days where the craves do assail you. That's OK. It beats slavery and, yeah, it does get better.  Was thinking of you and that serene walk up the mountain in the quiet and stillness of the forest, the only sound but the snow crunching under your feet. You're a rich man.

Wealthy beyond what this world has to offer. As always Thanks, @Athan  and I appreciate you.

[Athan]

Day 57 - Interesting "feeling" across the site as I am posting roll this morning. I sense for some the Honeymoon is over. The beginning of the grind. The symptoms/craves/urges have subsided to a point that other things are invading the sacred space set aside for KTC. Life, family, work, "a break", memory lapse (indicating an alternative higher priority) are all surfacing among us. Is this where we forget the screaming demon monkey that lived on our backs that brought us here? T

Quite possible the best summary yet on the mid HOF doldrums.  Yeah, it is a grind and yeah, there's days where the craves do assail you. That's OK. It beats slavery and, yeah, it does get better.  Was thinking of you and that serene walk up the mountain in the quiet and stillness of the forest, the only sound but the snow crunching under your feet. You're a rich man.

[olcpo]

Day 57 - Interesting "feeling" across the site as I am posting roll this morning. I sense for some the Honeymoon is over. The beginning of the grind. The symptoms/craves/urges have subsided to a point that other things are invading the sacred space set aside for KTC. Life, family, work, "a break", memory lapse (indicating an alternative higher priority) are all surfacing among us. Is this where we forget the screaming demon monkey that lived on our backs that brought us here? The addiction is still there. All of the vets have shared that 100+ was worse than the start, harder to stay quit the further we get from Day 1. So this is where we I have to look deeper, prepare for the long haul.

What is left when the screamin' meemies subside, the sores disappear, the temper is tamed, the fog has lifted? WUPP. Each day is a milestone. Celebrate the promise of NNT. Celebrate to whom the promise is made. I have to learn this new life of Nic free. I don't feel I am completely free, probably never will be (Hence the term "Addict"?). I will work on learning to put it in it's place. No longer allow it to make or alter decisions for me.

You know the honeymoon is over when your new spouse comes in and takes a dump while you are in the shower. In that relationship we learn to let some things go. We have to or we go nuts or worse. My well-being, value, worth is not contingent on someone else's opinion of me or my thoughts. It is a good barometer of am I on track with the accepted social behavior/norm for the space I am in, but it is not a personal slam if people do not react the way I think they should. So as I put my thoughts/feelings/self out on the threshing floor of the web, I accept the risk that it will not be greeted with adoration and awe that I feel is commensurate with my perfect offering. Life goes on. Get over it, Buttercup. Nothing is final. State of flux. If ya ain't learnin' yur dead...

The mode is the same, but the frequency is...

[olcpo]

Day 54 - Winter, Boring, Hum-Drum... I like that. "New" or "Different" isn't always good. Gonna "do" today, not sure what but gotta move. Less is more. Quit is strong, no draw whatsoever. ODAAT

[Athan]

Congrats on half HOF man!  Hold the line.   
Pitty that Nic!

HALF HOF HALF HOF HALF HOF HALF HOF
One day only Olcpo’s HALF HOF SALE!!
Like that Benelli M4 H2O? HALF HOF
Like that Hummer H1? HALF HOF
Like those Justin Bieber tickets? HALF HOF
One day only Olcpo’s HALF HOF SALE!!
HALF HOF HALF HOF HALF HOF HALF HOF

[EXBEARHAG]

Congrats on half HOF man!  Hold the line.   
Pitty that Nic!

[Keith0617]

Day 49 - 7 weeks - I had to wear a cast one time for 7 weeks. It went much slower than these 7 weeks have. The cast was restricting and painful. These 7 were liberating and somewhat painful in the moment, but the pain soon subsided and was/is forgotten in gratefulness and relief at being Quit. I am still processing, and will be for a while, the wider complexity of the Quit process on other facets of this Life. Much yet to unfold, it really is a new Life.

I get to plow snow today. A nice fluffy 4" last night, not too cold (25)...yet. Looking forward to being Quasi-Productive today knowing that moving frozen rain is indeed a temporal pursuit. Not unlike mowing the lawn or getting a haircut. A cyclic sense of accomplishment, routine renewal...more circles...They're everywhere

Congrats brother - you are doing great.

[olcpo]

Day 49 - 7 weeks - I had to wear a cast one time for 7 weeks. It went much slower than these 7 weeks have. The cast was restricting and painful. These 7 were liberating and somewhat painful in the moment, but the pain soon subsided and was/is forgotten in gratefulness and relief at being Quit. I am still processing, and will be for a while, the wider complexity of the Quit process on other facets of this Life. Much yet to unfold, it really is a new Life.

I get to plow snow today. A nice fluffy 4" last night, not too cold (25)...yet. Looking forward to being Quasi-Productive today knowing that moving frozen rain is indeed a temporal pursuit. Not unlike mowing the lawn or getting a haircut. A cyclic sense of accomplishment, routine renewal...more circles...They're everywhere

[olcpo]

Day 47 - Winter is here. Spitting snow, nothing serious. They are threatening colder and more snow tomorrow...So What?! People don't come here for a weather report. Chew? It really has gotten pushed back out of the way. Slight reminders, but nothing direct. I think the Void is more apparent. Every time I would put a pouch there was guilt, gotta fix this, do something different, this ain't right... That's all gone, over. WUPP my promise, taken care of.  NOW WHAT?! The Manstrating happens with or without a face full of chew. Mydol Ya' say? Everything is a chore. Nothing sounds fun. I am the only one that can fix it... well maybe not. Perhaps I am back where I was as a persistent serial quitter battling the nicodemons living with the falsehood that tomorrow I would quit...again...again...

I had to look beyond Self to be able crawl out of that hole. So the real question now is "Now What, God?!". Grace. Can't do it myself. Get over "Me" and look beyond and up. Horizontal isn't working, try vertical. My entire working life (50 years) I was driven by someone else's desires/demands/mandates. All externally motivated. Retired. That mostly all goes away. At least the magnitude and synergy is gone. Someone else's problem now. What is left of anything critical, pertinent, significant, valid, positive, progressive, worthwhile, motivating...

I'm not sure what any of this has to do with chew/nicotine. I remember early on @AndyCan  shared how quitting chew changed many facets of his life. The process of Quit and absence of Nic spreading throughout his walk. Did going through the Quit process bring to question what else can be changed out of this "life"? Maybe I will go clean the shop, That used to help me think through stuff. Dad used say "When in doubt, clean." Sittin' on my ass staring out the window produced this... Another thought comes to mind, "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got." Will the circle be unbroken?

Disclaimer: No drugs or animals were abused in the production of this brain Phart

Quitting is a journey without an actual destination. Many facets of your life will change as a result of quitting, some will be changes forced by you, others will come as unintended byproducts. They will come in time so long as you keep quitting. Many changes happen while we're busy doing other things. This site can also serve as a useful distraction during that process.

Getting to a point where you feel good, or content, most of the time without dip is a process that takes time. You are in the process of re--rewiring your brain so that you don't need nicotine to feel pleasure in the things you love to do. That scares many a quitters back to the can. It feels like it will last forever, but it won't. It can take years (and then, we're still addicts). However it will trend toward better every day. The only way over it is through it, unless you want to keep sucking on that cat shit for the rest of your life. Then what? You now know it's a lie, so it becomes more torturous on the soul to dip again now.

Thanks @Zeus , Amazing. A common thread "It will get better" and it does/has. Just as I think the addiction is behind and pondering what is in front, it is still the addiction in a different form. Thanks for clarifying, makes sense. Shape changing just isn't fair!

Many positive things come from quitting, but my favorite is realizing you can accomplish things you never thought possible. Quitting is hard. It takes a lot of willpower, and your doing it. What else in life takes willpower? What else could you tackle? Tap into that power you have. Do what you have never done.

Very true @Jenahen The quit really does open up endless possibility. Thanks it will help to keep that in front to keep striving.

[Jenahen]

Day 47 - Winter is here. Spitting snow, nothing serious. They are threatening colder and more snow tomorrow...So What?! People don't come here for a weather report. Chew? It really has gotten pushed back out of the way. Slight reminders, but nothing direct. I think the Void is more apparent. Every time I would put a pouch there was guilt, gotta fix this, do something different, this ain't right... That's all gone, over. WUPP my promise, taken care of.  NOW WHAT?! The Manstrating happens with or without a face full of chew. Mydol Ya' say? Everything is a chore. Nothing sounds fun. I am the only one that can fix it... well maybe not. Perhaps I am back where I was as a persistent serial quitter battling the nicodemons living with the falsehood that tomorrow I would quit...again...again...

I had to look beyond Self to be able crawl out of that hole. So the real question now is "Now What, God?!". Grace. Can't do it myself. Get over "Me" and look beyond and up. Horizontal isn't working, try vertical. My entire working life (50 years) I was driven by someone else's desires/demands/mandates. All externally motivated. Retired. That mostly all goes away. At least the magnitude and synergy is gone. Someone else's problem now. What is left of anything critical, pertinent, significant, valid, positive, progressive, worthwhile, motivating...

I'm not sure what any of this has to do with chew/nicotine. I remember early on @AndyCan  shared how quitting chew changed many facets of his life. The process of Quit and absence of Nic spreading throughout his walk. Did going through the Quit process bring to question what else can be changed out of this "life"? Maybe I will go clean the shop, That used to help me think through stuff. Dad used say "When in doubt, clean." Sittin' on my ass staring out the window produced this... Another thought comes to mind, "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got." Will the circle be unbroken?

Disclaimer: No drugs or animals were abused in the production of this brain Phart

Quitting is a journey without an actual destination. Many facets of your life will change as a result of quitting, some will be changes forced by you, others will come as unintended byproducts. They will come in time so long as you keep quitting. Many changes happen while we're busy doing other things. This site can also serve as a useful distraction during that process.

Getting to a point where you feel good, or content, most of the time without dip is a process that takes time. You are in the process of re--rewiring your brain so that you don't need nicotine to feel pleasure in the things you love to do. That scares many a quitters back to the can. It feels like it will last forever, but it won't. It can take years (and then, we're still addicts). However it will trend toward better every day. The only way over it is through it, unless you want to keep sucking on that cat shit for the rest of your life. Then what? You now know it's a lie, so it becomes more torturous on the soul to dip again now.

Thanks @Zeus , Amazing. A common thread "It will get better" and it does/has. Just as I think the addiction is behind and pondering what is in front, it is still the addiction in a different form. Thanks for clarifying, makes sense. Shape changing just isn't fair!

Many positive things come from quitting, but my favorite is realizing you can accomplish things you never thought possible. Quitting is hard. It takes a lot of willpower, and your doing it. What else in life takes willpower? What else could you tackle? Tap into that power you have. Do what you have never done.

[olcpo]

Day 47 - Winter is here. Spitting snow, nothing serious. They are threatening colder and more snow tomorrow...So What?! People don't come here for a weather report. Chew? It really has gotten pushed back out of the way. Slight reminders, but nothing direct. I think the Void is more apparent. Every time I would put a pouch there was guilt, gotta fix this, do something different, this ain't right... That's all gone, over. WUPP my promise, taken care of.  NOW WHAT?! The Manstrating happens with or without a face full of chew. Mydol Ya' say? Everything is a chore. Nothing sounds fun. I am the only one that can fix it... well maybe not. Perhaps I am back where I was as a persistent serial quitter battling the nicodemons living with the falsehood that tomorrow I would quit...again...again...

I had to look beyond Self to be able crawl out of that hole. So the real question now is "Now What, God?!". Grace. Can't do it myself. Get over "Me" and look beyond and up. Horizontal isn't working, try vertical. My entire working life (50 years) I was driven by someone else's desires/demands/mandates. All externally motivated. Retired. That mostly all goes away. At least the magnitude and synergy is gone. Someone else's problem now. What is left of anything critical, pertinent, significant, valid, positive, progressive, worthwhile, motivating...

I'm not sure what any of this has to do with chew/nicotine. I remember early on @AndyCan  shared how quitting chew changed many facets of his life. The process of Quit and absence of Nic spreading throughout his walk. Did going through the Quit process bring to question what else can be changed out of this "life"? Maybe I will go clean the shop, That used to help me think through stuff. Dad used say "When in doubt, clean." Sittin' on my ass staring out the window produced this... Another thought comes to mind, "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got." Will the circle be unbroken?

Disclaimer: No drugs or animals were abused in the production of this brain Phart

Quitting is a journey without an actual destination. Many facets of your life will change as a result of quitting, some will be changes forced by you, others will come as unintended byproducts. They will come in time so long as you keep quitting. Many changes happen while we're busy doing other things. This site can also serve as a useful distraction during that process.

Getting to a point where you feel good, or content, most of the time without dip is a process that takes time. You are in the process of re--rewiring your brain so that you don't need nicotine to feel pleasure in the things you love to do. That scares many a quitters back to the can. It feels like it will last forever, but it won't. It can take years (and then, we're still addicts). However it will trend toward better every day. The only way over it is through it, unless you want to keep sucking on that cat shit for the rest of your life. Then what? You now know it's a lie, so it becomes more torturous on the soul to dip again now.

Thanks @Zeus , Amazing. A common thread "It will get better" and it does/has. Just as I think the addiction is behind and pondering what is in front, it is still the addiction in a different form. Thanks for clarifying, makes sense. Shape changing just isn't fair!

[Zeus]

Day 47 - Winter is here. Spitting snow, nothing serious. They are threatening colder and more snow tomorrow...So What?! People don't come here for a weather report. Chew? It really has gotten pushed back out of the way. Slight reminders, but nothing direct. I think the Void is more apparent. Every time I would put a pouch there was guilt, gotta fix this, do something different, this ain't right... That's all gone, over. WUPP my promise, taken care of.  NOW WHAT?! The Manstrating happens with or without a face full of chew. Mydol Ya' say? Everything is a chore. Nothing sounds fun. I am the only one that can fix it... well maybe not. Perhaps I am back where I was as a persistent serial quitter battling the nicodemons living with the falsehood that tomorrow I would quit...again...again...

I had to look beyond Self to be able crawl out of that hole. So the real question now is "Now What, God?!". Grace. Can't do it myself. Get over "Me" and look beyond and up. Horizontal isn't working, try vertical. My entire working life (50 years) I was driven by someone else's desires/demands/mandates. All externally motivated. Retired. That mostly all goes away. At least the magnitude and synergy is gone. Someone else's problem now. What is left of anything critical, pertinent, significant, valid, positive, progressive, worthwhile, motivating...

I'm not sure what any of this has to do with chew/nicotine. I remember early on @AndyCan  shared how quitting chew changed many facets of his life. The process of Quit and absence of Nic spreading throughout his walk. Did going through the Quit process bring to question what else can be changed out of this "life"? Maybe I will go clean the shop, That used to help me think through stuff. Dad used say "When in doubt, clean." Sittin' on my ass staring out the window produced this... Another thought comes to mind, "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got." Will the circle be unbroken?

Disclaimer: No drugs or animals were abused in the production of this brain Phart

Quitting is a journey without an actual destination. Many facets of your life will change as a result of quitting, some will be changes forced by you, others will come as unintended byproducts. They will come in time so long as you keep quitting. Many changes happen while we're busy doing other things. This site can also serve as a useful distraction during that process.

Getting to a point where you feel good, or content, most of the time without dip is a process that takes time. You are in the process of re--rewiring your brain so that you don't need nicotine to feel pleasure in the things you love to do. That scares many a quitters back to the can. It feels like it will last forever, but it won't. It can take years (and then, we're still addicts). However it will trend toward better every day. The only way over it is through it, unless you want to keep sucking on that cat shit for the rest of your life. Then what? You now know it's a lie, so it becomes more torturous on the soul to dip again now.

[olcpo]

Day 47 - Winter is here. Spitting snow, nothing serious. They are threatening colder and more snow tomorrow...So What?! People don't come here for a weather report. Chew? It really has gotten pushed back out of the way. Slight reminders, but nothing direct. I think the Void is more apparent. Every time I would put a pouch there was guilt, gotta fix this, do something different, this ain't right... That's all gone, over. WUPP my promise, taken care of.  NOW WHAT?! The Manstrating happens with or without a face full of chew. Mydol Ya' say? Everything is a chore. Nothing sounds fun. I am the only one that can fix it... well maybe not. Perhaps I am back where I was as a persistent serial quitter battling the nicodemons living with the falsehood that tomorrow I would quit...again...again...

I had to look beyond Self to be able crawl out of that hole. So the real question now is "Now What, God?!". Grace. Can't do it myself. Get over "Me" and look beyond and up. Horizontal isn't working, try vertical. My entire working life (50 years) I was driven by someone else's desires/demands/mandates. All externally motivated. Retired. That mostly all goes away. At least the magnitude and synergy is gone. Someone else's problem now. What is left of anything critical, pertinent, significant, valid, positive, progressive, worthwhile, motivating...

I'm not sure what any of this has to do with chew/nicotine. I remember early on @AndyCan  shared how quitting chew changed many facets of his life. The process of Quit and absence of Nic spreading throughout his walk. Did going through the Quit process bring to question what else can be changed out of this "life"? Maybe I will go clean the shop, That used to help me think through stuff. Dad used say "When in doubt, clean." Sittin' on my ass staring out the window produced this... Another thought comes to mind, "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got." Will the circle be unbroken?

Disclaimer: No drugs or animals were abused in the production of this brain Phart

[ankape]

Day 43 - Dank Dark Dreary, can't hardly call it a day 0815 and still need a flashlight. It will only get better, each day a little longer . Motivated, must get motivated. Chew not an issue, each day gets better. Another "Less is More" Day. I wish you the best day yet, Find something to smile about. NIC Free 

I hit a funk every 20-30 days or so. Kinda like I was manstrating.  The only way out is forward, the only way out is through. Keep blogging it out my man, I'm edified every time you do.

“Manstrating”  If you ever need a Midol hit me up!

[Athan]

Day 43 - Dank Dark Dreary, can't hardly call it a day 0815 and still need a flashlight. It will only get better, each day a little longer . Motivated, must get motivated. Chew not an issue, each day gets better. Another "Less is More" Day. I wish you the best day yet, Find something to smile about. NIC Free 

I hit a funk every 20-30 days or so. Kinda like I was manstrating.  The only way out is forward, the only way out is through. Keep blogging it out my man, I'm edified every time you do.