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Penance
EXBEARHAG:
--- Quote from: chris2alaska on May 01, 2021, 01:39:39 AM ---
--- Quote from: wastepanel on April 30, 2021, 11:31:53 AM ---
--- Quote from: SouthernSaint on April 30, 2021, 06:39:20 AM ---Day 18
Why did I quit tobacco?
I woke up at 0400 this morning because for some unGodly reason the boat decided to go out on the water and do all kinds of noise.
As I sat there feeling cranky and growly, a thought came to my mind, “Why did o quit tobacco, more specifically dip?”
Because I couldn’t and can’t stand the looks of sadness and pity that would be on every loved one’s, friend’s, and co-worker’s face when they would look down on me in a hospital bed as I lay there weak from chemo with tubes coming out of my body. Or the daily looks of disgust I would get from missing a jaw or parts of my face. The self/hatred I would feel from seeing my own disfigured face in the mirror.
Think of the sadness that it would cause my wife, Katelyn, and my daughters, Hazel and Parker. Think of how that sadness would turn to fear at being left alone for the rest of their lives without their daddy and husband to protect them. Think of how that fear would turn to anger and maybe even hatred because I chose a dead plant in a can over them?
Think of your own self loathing you would feel because you decided to ruin your life over a stupid, useless habit.
I can see their beautiful faces marred by tears and looks of pity, and honestly, it’s enough to make me never, ever want to do it again.
My oldest daughter has an older girl who is her mentor. She was just given a death sentence from cancer that was not of her own choosing.
How stupid would it be to die from something you could have avoided 100%? There is only room there for “you poor, dumb bastard.”
I don’t want to be a poor dumb bastard.
--- End quote ---
Years ago, I chose Trapjaw from He-Man as my avatar as I had always responded that I wanted to be fitted with a steel jaw like him if somebody asked me if I was afraid to cancer.
I was scared of cancer and still am to an extent.
But I will say the best thing about being quit isn't the freedom of fear. It's the freedom period. Often when we lose family and friends, it's easy to point at what did them in. Hell, nobody knows which chew or cigarette of the thousands we did causes cancer. It could be the first. It could be the 10th. It could have been the last one I ever had back in 2011. We can't control whether we get sick from the shit. All we can control is getting it out of systems and increasing our freedoms.
You're doing your family proud. Stay quit today. When tomorrow rolls around, do it again.
Enjoy your family without this weed.
--- End quote ---
wastepanel speaks the truth here. There is no cure for our addiction and we won't know if we've beaten cancer until the day we die. All we can do is live our lives nicotine free until the good Lord calls us to our Heavenly Home.
My advise is to live your life, live it like you know you are free!! Hug your wife and kids every chance you get and tell them how much you love them. Make every moment count!!
--- End quote ---
Damn Saint. That was powerful. Keep blogging this shit out...you'd be surprised how many people can relate.
chris2alaska:
--- Quote from: wastepanel on April 30, 2021, 11:31:53 AM ---
--- Quote from: SouthernSaint on April 30, 2021, 06:39:20 AM ---Day 18
Why did I quit tobacco?
I woke up at 0400 this morning because for some unGodly reason the boat decided to go out on the water and do all kinds of noise.
As I sat there feeling cranky and growly, a thought came to my mind, “Why did o quit tobacco, more specifically dip?”
Because I couldn’t and can’t stand the looks of sadness and pity that would be on every loved one’s, friend’s, and co-worker’s face when they would look down on me in a hospital bed as I lay there weak from chemo with tubes coming out of my body. Or the daily looks of disgust I would get from missing a jaw or parts of my face. The self/hatred I would feel from seeing my own disfigured face in the mirror.
Think of the sadness that it would cause my wife, Katelyn, and my daughters, Hazel and Parker. Think of how that sadness would turn to fear at being left alone for the rest of their lives without their daddy and husband to protect them. Think of how that fear would turn to anger and maybe even hatred because I chose a dead plant in a can over them?
Think of your own self loathing you would feel because you decided to ruin your life over a stupid, useless habit.
I can see their beautiful faces marred by tears and looks of pity, and honestly, it’s enough to make me never, ever want to do it again.
My oldest daughter has an older girl who is her mentor. She was just given a death sentence from cancer that was not of her own choosing.
How stupid would it be to die from something you could have avoided 100%? There is only room there for “you poor, dumb bastard.”
I don’t want to be a poor dumb bastard.
--- End quote ---
Years ago, I chose Trapjaw from He-Man as my avatar as I had always responded that I wanted to be fitted with a steel jaw like him if somebody asked me if I was afraid to cancer.
I was scared of cancer and still am to an extent.
But I will say the best thing about being quit isn't the freedom of fear. It's the freedom period. Often when we lose family and friends, it's easy to point at what did them in. Hell, nobody knows which chew or cigarette of the thousands we did causes cancer. It could be the first. It could be the 10th. It could have been the last one I ever had back in 2011. We can't control whether we get sick from the shit. All we can control is getting it out of systems and increasing our freedoms.
You're doing your family proud. Stay quit today. When tomorrow rolls around, do it again.
Enjoy your family without this weed.
--- End quote ---
wastepanel speaks the truth here. There is no cure for our addiction and we won't know if we've beaten cancer until the day we die. All we can do is live our lives nicotine free until the good Lord calls us to our Heavenly Home.
My advise is to live your life, live it like you know you are free!! Hug your wife and kids every chance you get and tell them how much you love them. Make every moment count!!
wastepanel:
--- Quote from: SouthernSaint on April 30, 2021, 06:39:20 AM ---Day 18
Why did I quit tobacco?
I woke up at 0400 this morning because for some unGodly reason the boat decided to go out on the water and do all kinds of noise.
As I sat there feeling cranky and growly, a thought came to my mind, “Why did o quit tobacco, more specifically dip?”
Because I couldn’t and can’t stand the looks of sadness and pity that would be on every loved one’s, friend’s, and co-worker’s face when they would look down on me in a hospital bed as I lay there weak from chemo with tubes coming out of my body. Or the daily looks of disgust I would get from missing a jaw or parts of my face. The self/hatred I would feel from seeing my own disfigured face in the mirror.
Think of the sadness that it would cause my wife, Katelyn, and my daughters, Hazel and Parker. Think of how that sadness would turn to fear at being left alone for the rest of their lives without their daddy and husband to protect them. Think of how that fear would turn to anger and maybe even hatred because I chose a dead plant in a can over them?
Think of your own self loathing you would feel because you decided to ruin your life over a stupid, useless habit.
I can see their beautiful faces marred by tears and looks of pity, and honestly, it’s enough to make me never, ever want to do it again.
My oldest daughter has an older girl who is her mentor. She was just given a death sentence from cancer that was not of her own choosing.
How stupid would it be to die from something you could have avoided 100%? There is only room there for “you poor, dumb bastard.”
I don’t want to be a poor dumb bastard.
--- End quote ---
Years ago, I chose Trapjaw from He-Man as my avatar as I had always responded that I wanted to be fitted with a steel jaw like him if somebody asked me if I was afraid to cancer.
I was scared of cancer and still am to an extent.
But I will say the best thing about being quit isn't the freedom of fear. It's the freedom period. Often when we lose family and friends, it's easy to point at what did them in. Hell, nobody knows which chew or cigarette of the thousands we did causes cancer. It could be the first. It could be the 10th. It could have been the last one I ever had back in 2011. We can't control whether we get sick from the shit. All we can control is getting it out of systems and increasing our freedoms.
You're doing your family proud. Stay quit today. When tomorrow rolls around, do it again.
Enjoy your family without this weed.
MN_Engineer:
Each quitter gets only one Intro, @SouthernSaint
Please continue to use this one moving forward.
SouthernSaint:
Day 18
Why did I quit tobacco?
I woke up at 0400 this morning because for some unGodly reason the boat decided to go out on the water and do all kinds of noise.
As I sat there feeling cranky and growly, a thought came to my mind, “Why did o quit tobacco, more specifically dip?”
Because I couldn’t and can’t stand the looks of sadness and pity that would be on every loved one’s, friend’s, and co-worker’s face when they would look down on me in a hospital bed as I lay there weak from chemo with tubes coming out of my body. Or the daily looks of disgust I would get from missing a jaw or parts of my face. The self/hatred I would feel from seeing my own disfigured face in the mirror.
Think of the sadness that it would cause my wife, Katelyn, and my daughters, Hazel and Parker. Think of how that sadness would turn to fear at being left alone for the rest of their lives without their daddy and husband to protect them. Think of how that fear would turn to anger and maybe even hatred because I chose a dead plant in a can over them?
Think of your own self loathing you would feel because you decided to ruin your life over a stupid, useless habit.
I can see their beautiful faces marred by tears and looks of pity, and honestly, it’s enough to make me never, ever want to do it again.
My oldest daughter has an older girl who is her mentor. She was just given a death sentence from cancer that was not of her own choosing.
How stupid would it be to die from something you could have avoided 100%? There is only room there for “you poor, dumb bastard.”
I don’t want to be a poor dumb bastard.
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