General Discussion - 2010

[tarpon17]

It's been one of those weird days.  Nothing really to keep me busy and not really craving but it seems to always be on my mind today.  At day 87 I'm really happy that this quit has taken and that I found KTC.  But as I/we move closer and celebrate our buddys (and buddesses) making the HOF I'm feeling kind of odd about the whole thing.  I'm excited but also spooked.  Making the HOF is a big step and something I'll be proud of, but then I realize, on day 101 I'll get up and do it all over again.  On day 1001, I'll get up and do it all over again.  I've never really been involved in something I can't finish or better yet that has no finish, so it's weird.  Grateful, but trying to get my mind around it.

I have trouble getting my mind around this concept as well. I am a very goal oriented person, and the thought of never being able to put a final dagger in this quit is disturbing. It is a battle that will go on for the rest of our lives and I guess we will never be able to claim ultimate victory over the addiction.

However if you think about it, life is a constant and ongoing journey. Just because you graduate from grade school, highschool or college doesn't mean you are done learning. Just because you marry your wife doesn't mean your relationship stops growing stronger. Just because your kids leave the house, doesn't mean you stop caring and worrying about them.

So though we will never "finish" our quit....we can look forward to reaching the second floor, third floor...one year...500......commas.

"It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end"

This may be helpful...

Dealing With Craves  The Concept Of Forever - http://www.killthecan.org/facts/cravesforever.asp

Hang in there boys!

that is disturbing and about 95% of the reason why my previous quits never worked. why does it work now, I do have a goal that I can check off daily. I quit today. when I go to bed, mental check on the list. I quit today, damn straight. That's a dagger to me. ANd I'll do it tomorrow.

[chewie]

It's been one of those weird days.  Nothing really to keep me busy and not really craving but it seems to always be on my mind today.  At day 87 I'm really happy that this quit has taken and that I found KTC.  But as I/we move closer and celebrate our buddys (and buddesses) making the HOF I'm feeling kind of odd about the whole thing.  I'm excited but also spooked.  Making the HOF is a big step and something I'll be proud of, but then I realize, on day 101 I'll get up and do it all over again.  On day 1001, I'll get up and do it all over again.  I've never really been involved in something I can't finish or better yet that has no finish, so it's weird.  Grateful, but trying to get my mind around it.

I have trouble getting my mind around this concept as well. I am a very goal oriented person, and the thought of never being able to put a final dagger in this quit is disturbing. It is a battle that will go on for the rest of our lives and I guess we will never be able to claim ultimate victory over the addiction.

However if you think about it, life is a constant and ongoing journey. Just because you graduate from grade school, highschool or college doesn't mean you are done learning. Just because you marry your wife doesn't mean your relationship stops growing stronger. Just because your kids leave the house, doesn't mean you stop caring and worrying about them.

So though we will never "finish" our quit....we can look forward to reaching the second floor, third floor...one year...500......commas.

"It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end"

This may be helpful...

Dealing With Craves  The Concept Of Forever - http://www.killthecan.org/facts/cravesforever.asp

Hang in there boys!

[teaka]

It's been one of those weird days. Nothing really to keep me busy and not really craving but it seems to always be on my mind today. At day 87 I'm really happy that this quit has taken and that I found KTC. But as I/we move closer and celebrate our buddys (and buddesses) making the HOF I'm feeling kind of odd about the whole thing. I'm excited but also spooked. Making the HOF is a big step and something I'll be proud of, but then I realize, on day 101 I'll get up and do it all over again. On day 1001, I'll get up and do it all over again. I've never really been involved in something I can't finish or better yet that has no finish, so it's weird. Grateful, but trying to get my mind around it.

I have trouble getting my mind around this concept as well. I am a very goal oriented person, and the thought of never being able to put a final dagger in this quit is disturbing. It is a battle that will go on for the rest of our lives and I guess we will never be able to claim ultimate victory over the addiction.

However if you think about it, life is a constant and ongoing journey. Just because you graduate from grade school, highschool or college doesn't mean you are done learning. Just because you marry your wife doesn't mean your relationship stops growing stronger. Just because your kids leave the house, doesn't mean you stop caring and worrying about them.

So though we will never "finish" our quit....we can look forward to reaching the second floor, third floor...one year...500......commas.

"It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end"

[Bean]

NCGolfer - You're doing great. You too, Sappered. The key is to embrace the suck. Think of it like you're Kramer on Seinfeld when he gave up sleeping. There is so much more time to do stuff...climb the walls, log on to KTC, catch up on porno sites...uh, I mean, Christmas cards and stuff.

Seriously though, the sleep was a huge issue for me. It didn't come back for me for about 45 days...even now at a 100 I still have sleepless nights. Not sure it that is from quitting, but I don't recall that happening before my quit date. Regardless, one of the thoughts I kept in my mind was something along these lines...

"Sleeplessness is part of the healing process...I dipped for 20 years, what's a few nights of sleeplessness? I GET to be stay awake at night. Sleeplessness is a privilege...a benefit to quitting. The alternative is death."

Then I would re-read the Kern family story or the Contract or something. Tivo helped quite a bit, too. Anything to stay quit!!! Your life depends on it.

Stay strong, brothers. You can do this!!!

[sapperred1]

Big win today. As I was getting ready to leave this morning I looked in my briefcase for some notes I took at a meeting last week. As I reached in the bag I found a full tin of Red Seal fine cut wintergreen. Pulled out and asked my wife if I should give it to one of my friends or just dump it and she said to leave it on the counter and that she wanted to dump it. Must be some sort of special win for her to dump a can after all of these years of me telling her not too touch my stash or spitter. Either way, I resisted and am keeping the quit for another day.

That is a great one and means your wife is in on the quit. Great job and we are still in this together.

[ncgolfer]

Big win today. As I was getting ready to leave this morning I looked in my briefcase for some notes I took at a meeting last week. As I reached in the bag I found a full tin of Red Seal fine cut wintergreen. Pulled out and asked my wife if I should give it to one of my friends or just dump it and she said to leave it on the counter and that she wanted to dump it. Must be some sort of special win for her to dump a can after all of these years of me telling her not too touch my stash or spitter. Either way, I resisted and am keeping the quit for another day.

[sapperred1]

I'm wiped out.  I've made it through the 72 hours to get the Nic out of my system and am counting days instead of hours, but sleep deprivation is killing me.  Look at my Roll Posts, I've gotten into ritual of posting between 4 and 5am, which wouldn't be bad if I went to sleep before midnight.  Oh well Day 4 has brought me tiredness and a complete loss of taste.  It is amazing to me that the stupid can I carried around in my pocket for the last 25 years has had such an effect on my system.  The challenge keeps me going. I cannot wait to feel what tomorrow brings without Nic.

This is badass. Be proud ncgolfer. Three days is NO joke. There's nothing wrong with counting hours, by the way. Don't worry about days. They'll come.

I would love to tell you 'Tomorrow is a better day' but that may not be true, unfortunately. You're going to feel like shit for a long time, because, like everyone else here, you DID carry that fucking can around for XX number of years. The good news is, your body is healing. That's what all of this shit you're going through is all about.

Keep up the good work my man. Don't hesitate to PM me if you need anything.

ncgolfer. day 6 for me and still tough. sleep is difficult for me still also wake up all the time dry mouth and craven for. But we are still quit. if you need anything let me know.

[Nolaq]

I'm wiped out. I've made it through the 72 hours to get the Nic out of my system and am counting days instead of hours, but sleep deprivation is killing me. Look at my Roll Posts, I've gotten into ritual of posting between 4 and 5am, which wouldn't be bad if I went to sleep before midnight. Oh well Day 4 has brought me tiredness and a complete loss of taste. It is amazing to me that the stupid can I carried around in my pocket for the last 25 years has had such an effect on my system. The challenge keeps me going. I cannot wait to feel what tomorrow brings without Nic.

This is badass. Be proud ncgolfer. Three days is NO joke. There's nothing wrong with counting hours, by the way. Don't worry about days. They'll come.

I would love to tell you 'Tomorrow is a better day' but that may not be true, unfortunately. You're going to feel like shit for a long time, because, like everyone else here, you DID carry that fucking can around for XX number of years. The good news is, your body is healing. That's what all of this shit you're going through is all about.

Keep up the good work my man. Don't hesitate to PM me if you need anything.

[ncgolfer]

I'm wiped out. I've made it through the 72 hours to get the Nic out of my system and am counting days instead of hours, but sleep deprivation is killing me. Look at my Roll Posts, I've gotten into ritual of posting between 4 and 5am, which wouldn't be bad if I went to sleep before midnight. Oh well Day 4 has brought me tiredness and a complete loss of taste. It is amazing to me that the stupid can I carried around in my pocket for the last 25 years has had such an effect on my system. The challenge keeps me going. I cannot wait to feel what tomorrow brings without Nic.

[Tj_44]

This is my first post and I kind of had to look around before I knew where to put it. My last dip, 2 Grizzly Wintergreen pouches, was December 15, 2010, right in the morning when I woke up before my Intro to Management final. Part of me knew that quitting during finals was going to be a stupid idea, but I made it through and now I'm enjoying life at home (and finally some good food). So technically, it's Day 5 for me right now and what I did this morning was go online, search "mouth cancer" on Google Images, and see the reason why I'm quitting, because the cravings are killing me right now. Sadly, it doesn't really scare me as much as it should. It feels like a tease almost because I could easily take a 10 min walk down to the Mobil right now, get me a tin of my favorite dip, and just be content with life. Sitting around doing nothing, which is what I'm doing right now, is my biggest trigger.

Life, for now, sucks.

FightinIrish try some of these photos they always help me keep my frame of mind. http://www.killthecan.org/pics/

[fightinIrish]

This is my first post and I kind of had to look around before I knew where to put it. My last dip, 2 Grizzly Wintergreen pouches, was December 15, 2010, right in the morning when I woke up before my Intro to Management final. Part of me knew that quitting during finals was going to be a stupid idea, but I made it through and now I'm enjoying life at home (and finally some good food). So technically, it's Day 5 for me right now and what I did this morning was go online, search "mouth cancer" on Google Images, and see the reason why I'm quitting, because the cravings are killing me right now. Sadly, it doesn't really scare me as much as it should. It feels like a tease almost because I could easily take a 10 min walk down to the Mobil right now, get me a tin of my favorite dip, and just be content with life. Sitting around doing nothing, which is what I'm doing right now, is my biggest trigger.

Life, for now, sucks.

[brianl]

I had a wicked dip dream last night. It gave me a feeling of guilt that lasted throughout the day today. I think it stems from a Christmas party I was at last night at a friends house. All my close friends were there and they all support my Quit. Later in the night someone busted out some nice cigars. I was offered one and of course I refused.
As I was watching everyone puffing away out on the porch I realized that would be something I miss more than dipping. Maybe 3 or 4 times a year I would have a good cigar with friends at certain occasions and really enjoyed them. I know that because I'm an addict that I can't let any nicotine enter my system in any form. It was a little depressing knowing that I can never have another cigar, a loss due to my Quit. So I think that's what set off the brutal dip dream.
Or maybe it was the 12 scotch on the rocks..... ;)

In any case, on day 112 of my Quit I passed a test on a trigger that I had forgotten about, the good ole cigar.

Brian

[Maverick55]

You guys got this! Posting is serious voodoo on your craves - make your commitment, stick to your word. That's all it boils down to. I'm in the Feb quit group, not that far ahead - but I CAN tell you it gets better. Everyday its easier for me to make that commitment to this group.

My number is yours if you need it.

Nick

[ncgolfer]

ncgolfer I am only on day 4 and can not tell you it gets better. But we can do this. Stay with us and we will quit this crap. Stay strong, stay with us, and stay quit.

Sapperred-Thanks for the encouragement. You and I are two of the most recent quitters, we need to stick together. I'm just tired more than anything. I played golf today, which is a huge trigger for me, and got through it just fine. The key for me is that I threw out any tobacco I had left before I quit. Two of the guys I played with both Dipped and I really didn't even consider putting one in. I'm also already tired of the fake stuff. I think it makes my tounge numb, going back to jerky for now.

[sapperred1]

ncgolfer I am only on day 4 and can not tell you it gets better. But we can do this. Stay with us and we will quit this crap. Stay strong, stay with us, and stay quit.