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Bachelor Party and Cigars

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--Ajax--:
I need to clarify, I believe the worst of the things said over on the Sept quit thread were from a vet, not a mod.  I've reported the post to the moderators.

--Ajax--:
Yup, I tried to bum a smoke in a moment of weakness on Friday night.  The craving lasted maybe a minute.  I was on the path to caving, terribly close.  Fortunately I was unsuccessful and got a grip before anything irreparable happened to my commitment to be in the Sept '19 HOF.  I did NOT put nicotine in my body.  Then I posted to the forum for support ASAP, as it seriously shook me up and I felt the need to share.  Not just for personal guidance but so that others can read my experience and it be documented for future benefit to this forum.

This weekend marks 4 weeks for me nicotine free, longest time in 22 years!  I am succeeding.  Am I at risk?  Of course.  Isn't that why we are all here?  KTC would not exist if we were not ALL perpetually at risk.  Do I have a long road to go and to learn from the vets and mods here, hell Yes.  Certainly I am naive and ignorant in my quit.  This is new for me, you were all here once, I will grow and mature in this as I have in so many other challenges I have surmounted in my life.

Regarding responses from a select couple of the vets and moderators here, my feelings are mixed with your approach.  There is a tone of ridicule I don't appreciate.  I believe for some members just reading this thread and the one over in the Sept group would be enough to think twice before coming clean on a mistake or even joining this site.  I've had personal messages commenting on my "lashing" and glad to see that I've decided to continue posting roll and sticking around despite the treatment.

I will post roll every day (WUPP), I will stick around.  If not to continue posting in general discussions or to share my experiences and weaknesses, but then to just exist in the form of texting with those who I've exchanged #s with or to DM outside of the GroupMe group chat.  I would prefer it not come to that.  But I will resort to that if the tone of these threads from certain mods and vets continues.

I've been told to apologize to everyone in this forum who I was "trying to shit on", and then repermanded for my action in coming clean by posting in my Sept '19 quit group what happened on Friday night.

This feels flat out wrong to me.  What happens when someone almost (or does) cave? I presume a dip or other nic product does not just accidentally fall in one's mouth.  Premeditated actions take place.  I read on here about drives to gas stations, purchase of dip, and throwing away of dip.  There are close calls and there are losses every week of those who caved charted by each of our quit date's spreadsheet for us all to see.  Should these poor decisions, close calls, and even failures not be reported?!  I'm completely beside myself that I was told it was a mistake to share with everyone what happened.  WTF

I was asked what changed between my promise on Friday morning and my near cave that night. Strength to manage my underlying desire to use nicotine is what changed.  Drinking was the primary driver fueling that loss of strength.  I know drinking lowers inhibitions and puts us at risk, it's clearly written multiple places in KTC.  It's a clearly documented fact in general.  This doesn't change my wish to quit or my good will to keep true to my promise.  It does demonstrate my weakness and foolish chain of decisions which put me at risk Friday night.  I did not insult anyone, nor harm anyone, to be accused of these things by a vet/mod on this forum is frankly absurd and childish in my opinion.  Are some of you playing toy drill sergeant here on people with nicotine addiction, it sure comes across that way.  Just my observation as a new comer.

Thankfully I have my numbers exchanged with folks in my quit month and openly accepted offers from some of the vets and mods in anticipation of the challenges I knew this weekend would bring. These handful of folks know who they are and I Thank You for being there for me this weekend, even in my time of weakness.  In turn I am here for you.

I guess the responses to follow in this thread will determine if you hear more from me.  But regardless I will keep my promise, I will WUPP, I will keep using my numbers.

This may raise a *hit storm but I've had this on my mind for the past 2 days while enjoying a celebration for one of my very closest friends getting married.  The wedding is in Sept,,, so all hopefully stay tuned for another round of stories about temptation and risk exposure.

69franx:

--- Quote from: Broccoli-saurus on July 13, 2019, 06:08:59 PM ---
--- Quote from: 69franx on July 13, 2019, 05:08:24 PM ---Not quite following here.
Did you think about bumming one?
Did you actually bum one?
Did you put nicotine in your body?
If you had an urge and got lucky enough to not find anyone willing to let you bum one, then you are a dumbass, but not a caver.
If you actually consumed nicotine in any form, then you made a weakass choice to cave.
You knew going in this weekend would be tough, what the fuck happened that quickly that you wanted to give in?
Too much alcohol that you said you would go easy on?
Hooker turned you down?
"Everyone was doing it" and you had to have one to be part of the group?
You knew you wanted to stay quit on Friday, but Saturday was different how?

--- End quote ---

From his post in groupme, he actually tried to bum one from two different people who turned him down.

--- End quote ---
The more I read, the more it looks that way. But as was said in September: if you go out looking to cheat on your wife and every woman in the bar turns you down, you still wanted to cheat, or something like that

Broccoli-saurus:

--- Quote from: 69franx on July 13, 2019, 05:08:24 PM ---Not quite following here.
Did you think about bumming one?
Did you actually bum one?
Did you put nicotine in your body?
If you had an urge and got lucky enough to not find anyone willing to let you bum one, then you are a dumbass, but not a caver.
If you actually consumed nicotine in any form, then you made a weakass choice to cave.
You knew going in this weekend would be tough, what the fuck happened that quickly that you wanted to give in?
Too much alcohol that you said you would go easy on?
Hooker turned you down?
"Everyone was doing it" and you had to have one to be part of the group?
You knew you wanted to stay quit on Friday, but Saturday was different how?

--- End quote ---

From his post in groupme, he actually tried to bum one from two different people who turned him down. 

69franx:
Not quite following here.
Did you think about bumming one?
Did you actually bum one?
Did you put nicotine in your body?
If you had an urge and got lucky enough to not find anyone willing to let you bum one, then you are a dumbass, but not a caver.
If you actually consumed nicotine in any form, then you made a weakass choice to cave.
You knew going in this weekend would be tough, what the fuck happened that quickly that you wanted to give in?
Too much alcohol that you said you would go easy on?
Hooker turned you down?
"Everyone was doing it" and you had to have one to be part of the group?
You knew you wanted to stay quit on Friday, but Saturday was different how?

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