Such a familiar story at the beginning and such a strong ending (what's written so far.) Thanx for reposting here for all to see.Agreed. That is one powerful testimony. Keep blogging it out; it's very therapeutic - for yourself and others.
The biggest thing that's fucking me up is my music. Ever since I started playing music having a pinch in my mouth went hand in hand.Man, do I feel this!!
I'm no musician, but brother... where you are and what you are feeling is right in line with the number of days you are on. The first 100 days are SO hard. You are fighting a batlle with yourself. Your brain, your body, your behaviors, your routine... all centered around your addition. And right now you are kind of lost while you learn to rewire all of these things. It is happening, but you are literally internally fighting within yourself every day, and you are exhausted. Like being in the trenches for 39 days of battle - you are tired.The biggest thing that's fucking me up is my music. Ever since I started playing music having a pinch in my mouth went hand in hand.Man, do I feel this!!
Brother... I’m a professional musician. I’m 48 (49 in a few weeks) and I’ve been playing guitar since I was 5. I’ve been working solidly as a muzo since I was 25. I teach... I’m in a few bands... I get some session work in... I’m a worship/media arts director for my church network... I stay busy. I dipped for 25 years and like you... there wasn’t a time when I wasn’t using while I was playing/recording/practicing.
Now... what to say to you to make you feel better or bring you off the ledge?... I dunno.
You’re still so damn new in your Quit and the re-wiring required to renew your mind after abusing it with nicotine is still in process. Right now, you’re in your own head and that funk you’re riding is loud. Fucking overwhelmingly loud.
It’s a shitty cliche thing to say but breathe and be patient and ride it. It will pass. Trust me.
It. Will. Pass.
I thought playing guitar would never be the same too. Like my talent/passion depended on my addiction to make it whole.
That is SO fucking stupid.
Nicotine does NOT run the show.
Never did.
Music is ALL you.
Soak that up.
I’m sitting on 2,355 days Quit right now. Playing music has never been more fun. I’m free from the need to manage my addiction and it frees me up as a muzo. I don’t know when it happened as related to my music but it DID happen. It WILL happen for you too. Guitar is a forgiving beast and you can solely concentrate on technique and theory in the meantime. Mechanics don’t necessarily need inspiration. Put in the work even if you don’t “feel” it and thumb your nose at nicotine with this ultimate “FUCK YOU”!
Take a deep breath bro. Then take a deeper one. Getting into the Quit Groove is more important right now. Music will still be there, waiting for you to be clean.
That’s all I can think of to say right now. If you want another ear or sounding board... hit me up for digits.
@AppleJack (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=710) after I finish writing this post I will be sending you my number. Thank you. I mean truly thank you. If there was any message I was hoping to read, yours was exactly it. Now I feel better. "Fucking overwhelming loud" I couldn't say it better myself of exactly what's going on in my head.Here's the deal...everything you did before you quit...you can do quit. Everything. Just give it time. I too had that feeling of when will it ever get better? I would sit at my desk on a Friday and dread the weekend because I couldn't dip. Now...I'm back to looking forward to the weekends and everything else that I thought I couldn't enjoy without dip. I can't tell you when it happened but it just slowly did with time. Keep writing out your thoughts...It helps.
I'm gonna give it a try.just keep grinding and believing that I can do this. Seriously thank you. I dont know what else to say but that. I'm glad i can add you to my team.
@worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) I'll never get tired of hearing that. Because that's something I need to hear on a consistent basis. Thank you I will also be sending you a PM of my number. Glad to have guys watching my back
Thanks @walterwhite (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=55) today is one those days where I'm just gonna get lost in the archives and read. I will start with yours. As always thanks for looking out@AppleJack (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=710) after I finish writing this post I will be sending you my number. Thank you. I mean truly thank you. If there was any message I was hoping to read, yours was exactly it. Now I feel better. "Fucking overwhelming loud" I couldn't say it better myself of exactly what's going on in my head.Here's the deal...everything you did before you quit...you can do quit. Everything. Just give it time. I too had that feeling of when will it ever get better? I would sit at my desk on a Friday and dread the weekend because I couldn't dip. Now...I'm back to looking forward to the weekends and everything else that I thought I couldn't enjoy without dip. I can't tell you when it happened but it just slowly did with time. Keep writing out your thoughts...It helps.
I'm gonna give it a try.just keep grinding and believing that I can do this. Seriously thank you. I dont know what else to say but that. I'm glad i can add you to my team.
@worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) I'll never get tired of hearing that. Because that's something I need to hear on a consistent basis. Thank you I will also be sending you a PM of my number. Glad to have guys watching my back
Go read my intro if you are bored. I too wrote a lot about my struggles in quitting. Everybody here went through the same things you are going through...It can be done...I got a lot of inspirations by reading other intros.
Prior to my quit, I had NEVER fished a day in my life without a dip. Never. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I actually stopped fishing for a couple of months. I was a mess on the boat. Couldn't focus. Couldn't even tie a knot. I'm here to tell you that it gets much better and I'm cleared than ever.Thanks @walterwhite (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=55) today is one those days where I'm just gonna get lost in the archives and read. I will start with yours. As always thanks for looking out@AppleJack (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=710) after I finish writing this post I will be sending you my number. Thank you. I mean truly thank you. If there was any message I was hoping to read, yours was exactly it. Now I feel better. "Fucking overwhelming loud" I couldn't say it better myself of exactly what's going on in my head.Here's the deal...everything you did before you quit...you can do quit. Everything. Just give it time. I too had that feeling of when will it ever get better? I would sit at my desk on a Friday and dread the weekend because I couldn't dip. Now...I'm back to looking forward to the weekends and everything else that I thought I couldn't enjoy without dip. I can't tell you when it happened but it just slowly did with time. Keep writing out your thoughts...It helps.
I'm gonna give it a try.just keep grinding and believing that I can do this. Seriously thank you. I dont know what else to say but that. I'm glad i can add you to my team.
@worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) I'll never get tired of hearing that. Because that's something I need to hear on a consistent basis. Thank you I will also be sending you a PM of my number. Glad to have guys watching my back
Go read my intro if you are bored. I too wrote a lot about my struggles in quitting. Everybody here went through the same things you are going through...It can be done...I got a lot of inspirations by reading other intros.
I don't post on here much anymore other than to post my daily promise every morning. I just wanted to say, everything these guys have said is my exact same experience as well. I started when I was 14 and tried to quit thousands of time for the next 36 years. I'd really given up hope that I could actually quit but had to keep trying because I wanted to be free of this habit so bad. I stumbled on to this site almost 1259 days ago, signed up with the intent of only reading some posts and then moving on. When I found out that they claimed their success for quitting came from posting a promise every morning, I thought that's got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Then thought, I might as well try it, what I've done in the past hasn't worked, what have I got to lose. To my shock, here I am almost 3 and a half years later, Quit. And I feel confident that it's for good this time. If I can do it, anyone can. I was the biggest failure at quitting there ever was.Prior to my quit, I had NEVER fished a day in my life without a dip. Never. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I actually stopped fishing for a couple of months. I was a mess on the boat. Couldn't focus. Couldn't even tie a knot. I'm here to tell you that it gets much better and I'm cleared than ever.Thanks @walterwhite (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=55) today is one those days where I'm just gonna get lost in the archives and read. I will start with yours. As always thanks for looking out@AppleJack (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=710) after I finish writing this post I will be sending you my number. Thank you. I mean truly thank you. If there was any message I was hoping to read, yours was exactly it. Now I feel better. "Fucking overwhelming loud" I couldn't say it better myself of exactly what's going on in my head.Here's the deal...everything you did before you quit...you can do quit. Everything. Just give it time. I too had that feeling of when will it ever get better? I would sit at my desk on a Friday and dread the weekend because I couldn't dip. Now...I'm back to looking forward to the weekends and everything else that I thought I couldn't enjoy without dip. I can't tell you when it happened but it just slowly did with time. Keep writing out your thoughts...It helps.
I'm gonna give it a try.just keep grinding and believing that I can do this. Seriously thank you. I dont know what else to say but that. I'm glad i can add you to my team.
@worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) I'll never get tired of hearing that. Because that's something I need to hear on a consistent basis. Thank you I will also be sending you a PM of my number. Glad to have guys watching my back
Go read my intro if you are bored. I too wrote a lot about my struggles in quitting. Everybody here went through the same things you are going through...It can be done...I got a lot of inspirations by reading other intros.
Day 50.This is gold, man.
I feel like every time I start writing I end up erasing it all. This community has done so much for me, that everything I write just isnt good enough.
This site isnt just a forum page to me. It's my home. I have been blessed to have some wonderful people on my team. Since I have been on this site I have exchanged 3,256 texts messages with other members. And yes I went through my messages and counted up the days. If I press delete all it shows me how many messages me and that person sent. The reason I did that was because in the time it took me to do the math, my craving has gone away. This site has taught me to fight nicotine with distraction. And boy have I been staying distracted.
What's changed from day 1 to day 50?
My thoughts is the first thing to pop up. I feel like I have a new brain. Its hard to explain it, but I can think more clearly. I'm rationalizing things with a sober mind. I feel more free when it comes to my thoughts..
I was talking to my wife about friendships. And to prove a point, I pulled out my phone to call someone who I haven't spoken to in 6 years. He picked up and he and I starting talking. He and I used to party all the time. We were getting drunk regularly by the time we were 16. He came out and told me that he to had a nicotine addiction. He was smoking a pack and chewing two tins a day. My man is 7 years sober now from everything. Just ran a 5k the other day and finished 3rd.
Now would this conversation happened if I was chewing at that moment? Who knows. But It happened during my quit and that to me is a win.
I have learned that I am completely obsessed with nicotine. And that's why I became completely obsessed with KTC. I spend all my free time on this site because it helps me. KTC will be something I do for the rest of my life. Without this site I know I will cave.
Last year on this day I dont remember anything except I woke up and put a pinch in. Today I woke up and wrote a little something for my 50th day quit. This site really works if you commit yourself to it.
Drink the kool aid. Stay classy. ODAAT.
Here's to knocking down the first 50. Next stop HoF baby.
What ^^AJ said!Day 50.This is gold, man.
I feel like every time I start writing I end up erasing it all. This community has done so much for me, that everything I write just isnt good enough.
This site isnt just a forum page to me. It's my home. I have been blessed to have some wonderful people on my team. Since I have been on this site I have exchanged 3,256 texts messages with other members. And yes I went through my messages and counted up the days. If I press delete all it shows me how many messages me and that person sent. The reason I did that was because in the time it took me to do the math, my craving has gone away. This site has taught me to fight nicotine with distraction. And boy have I been staying distracted.
What's changed from day 1 to day 50?
My thoughts is the first thing to pop up. I feel like I have a new brain. Its hard to explain it, but I can think more clearly. I'm rationalizing things with a sober mind. I feel more free when it comes to my thoughts..
I was talking to my wife about friendships. And to prove a point, I pulled out my phone to call someone who I haven't spoken to in 6 years. He picked up and he and I starting talking. He and I used to party all the time. We were getting drunk regularly by the time we were 16. He came out and told me that he to had a nicotine addiction. He was smoking a pack and chewing two tins a day. My man is 7 years sober now from everything. Just ran a 5k the other day and finished 3rd.
Now would this conversation happened if I was chewing at that moment? Who knows. But It happened during my quit and that to me is a win.
I have learned that I am completely obsessed with nicotine. And that's why I became completely obsessed with KTC. I spend all my free time on this site because it helps me. KTC will be something I do for the rest of my life. Without this site I know I will cave.
Last year on this day I dont remember anything except I woke up and put a pinch in. Today I woke up and wrote a little something for my 50th day quit. This site really works if you commit yourself to it.
Drink the kool aid. Stay classy. ODAAT.
Here's to knocking down the first 50. Next stop HoF baby.
Gold.
Keep these thoughts... keep this momentum rolling any way you can.
Freedom is yours, dude, and it just gets better. Trust me. It does.
Ask me how I know...
AJ... 2,366 days of Freedom.
What ^^AJ said!Day 50.This is gold, man.
I feel like every time I start writing I end up erasing it all. This community has done so much for me, that everything I write just isnt good enough.
This site isnt just a forum page to me. It's my home. I have been blessed to have some wonderful people on my team. Since I have been on this site I have exchanged 3,256 texts messages with other members. And yes I went through my messages and counted up the days. If I press delete all it shows me how many messages me and that person sent. The reason I did that was because in the time it took me to do the math, my craving has gone away. This site has taught me to fight nicotine with distraction. And boy have I been staying distracted.
What's changed from day 1 to day 50?
My thoughts is the first thing to pop up. I feel like I have a new brain. Its hard to explain it, but I can think more clearly. I'm rationalizing things with a sober mind. I feel more free when it comes to my thoughts..
I was talking to my wife about friendships. And to prove a point, I pulled out my phone to call someone who I haven't spoken to in 6 years. He picked up and he and I starting talking. He and I used to party all the time. We were getting drunk regularly by the time we were 16. He came out and told me that he to had a nicotine addiction. He was smoking a pack and chewing two tins a day. My man is 7 years sober now from everything. Just ran a 5k the other day and finished 3rd.
Now would this conversation happened if I was chewing at that moment? Who knows. But It happened during my quit and that to me is a win.
I have learned that I am completely obsessed with nicotine. And that's why I became completely obsessed with KTC. I spend all my free time on this site because it helps me. KTC will be something I do for the rest of my life. Without this site I know I will cave.
Last year on this day I dont remember anything except I woke up and put a pinch in. Today I woke up and wrote a little something for my 50th day quit. This site really works if you commit yourself to it.
Drink the kool aid. Stay classy. ODAAT.
Here's to knocking down the first 50. Next stop HoF baby.
Gold.
Keep these thoughts... keep this momentum rolling any way you can.
Freedom is yours, dude, and it just gets better. Trust me. It does.
Ask me how I know...
AJ... 2,366 days of Freedom.
Day 50 was big for me symbolically. Half a HOF! Just be on guard for those funks ahead, cause they are there. But your head and heart is exactly where it needs to be. Keep crushing it, SixString!!!
I'm not clicking on that.What ^^AJ said!Day 50.This is gold, man.
I feel like every time I start writing I end up erasing it all. This community has done so much for me, that everything I write just isnt good enough.
This site isnt just a forum page to me. It's my home. I have been blessed to have some wonderful people on my team. Since I have been on this site I have exchanged 3,256 texts messages with other members. And yes I went through my messages and counted up the days. If I press delete all it shows me how many messages me and that person sent. The reason I did that was because in the time it took me to do the math, my craving has gone away. This site has taught me to fight nicotine with distraction. And boy have I been staying distracted.
What's changed from day 1 to day 50?
My thoughts is the first thing to pop up. I feel like I have a new brain. Its hard to explain it, but I can think more clearly. I'm rationalizing things with a sober mind. I feel more free when it comes to my thoughts..
I was talking to my wife about friendships. And to prove a point, I pulled out my phone to call someone who I haven't spoken to in 6 years. He picked up and he and I starting talking. He and I used to party all the time. We were getting drunk regularly by the time we were 16. He came out and told me that he to had a nicotine addiction. He was smoking a pack and chewing two tins a day. My man is 7 years sober now from everything. Just ran a 5k the other day and finished 3rd.
Now would this conversation happened if I was chewing at that moment? Who knows. But It happened during my quit and that to me is a win.
I have learned that I am completely obsessed with nicotine. And that's why I became completely obsessed with KTC. I spend all my free time on this site because it helps me. KTC will be something I do for the rest of my life. Without this site I know I will cave.
Last year on this day I dont remember anything except I woke up and put a pinch in. Today I woke up and wrote a little something for my 50th day quit. This site really works if you commit yourself to it.
Drink the kool aid. Stay classy. ODAAT.
Here's to knocking down the first 50. Next stop HoF baby.
Gold.
Keep these thoughts... keep this momentum rolling any way you can.
Freedom is yours, dude, and it just gets better. Trust me. It does.
Ask me how I know...
AJ... 2,366 days of Freedom.
Day 50 was big for me symbolically. Half a HOF! Just be on guard for those funks ahead, cause they are there. But your head and heart is exactly where it needs to be. Keep crushing it, SixString!!!
Did somebody say Half Hoff??? (https://media.giphy.com/media/dF2w3l5gudW3C/giphy.gif)
You're luckyI'm not clicking on that.What ^^AJ said!Day 50.This is gold, man.
I feel like every time I start writing I end up erasing it all. This community has done so much for me, that everything I write just isnt good enough.
This site isnt just a forum page to me. It's my home. I have been blessed to have some wonderful people on my team. Since I have been on this site I have exchanged 3,256 texts messages with other members. And yes I went through my messages and counted up the days. If I press delete all it shows me how many messages me and that person sent. The reason I did that was because in the time it took me to do the math, my craving has gone away. This site has taught me to fight nicotine with distraction. And boy have I been staying distracted.
What's changed from day 1 to day 50?
My thoughts is the first thing to pop up. I feel like I have a new brain. Its hard to explain it, but I can think more clearly. I'm rationalizing things with a sober mind. I feel more free when it comes to my thoughts..
I was talking to my wife about friendships. And to prove a point, I pulled out my phone to call someone who I haven't spoken to in 6 years. He picked up and he and I starting talking. He and I used to party all the time. We were getting drunk regularly by the time we were 16. He came out and told me that he to had a nicotine addiction. He was smoking a pack and chewing two tins a day. My man is 7 years sober now from everything. Just ran a 5k the other day and finished 3rd.
Now would this conversation happened if I was chewing at that moment? Who knows. But It happened during my quit and that to me is a win.
I have learned that I am completely obsessed with nicotine. And that's why I became completely obsessed with KTC. I spend all my free time on this site because it helps me. KTC will be something I do for the rest of my life. Without this site I know I will cave.
Last year on this day I dont remember anything except I woke up and put a pinch in. Today I woke up and wrote a little something for my 50th day quit. This site really works if you commit yourself to it.
Drink the kool aid. Stay classy. ODAAT.
Here's to knocking down the first 50. Next stop HoF baby.
Gold.
Keep these thoughts... keep this momentum rolling any way you can.
Freedom is yours, dude, and it just gets better. Trust me. It does.
Ask me how I know...
AJ... 2,366 days of Freedom.
Day 50 was big for me symbolically. Half a HOF! Just be on guard for those funks ahead, cause they are there. But your head and heart is exactly where it needs to be. Keep crushing it, SixString!!!
Did somebody say Half Hoff??? (https://media.giphy.com/media/dF2w3l5gudW3C/giphy.gif)
Great stuff right here SixString. Keep kicking ass brother and I am proud to be quit with youYou're luckyI'm not clicking on that.What ^^AJ said!Day 50.This is gold, man.
I feel like every time I start writing I end up erasing it all. This community has done so much for me, that everything I write just isnt good enough.
This site isnt just a forum page to me. It's my home. I have been blessed to have some wonderful people on my team. Since I have been on this site I have exchanged 3,256 texts messages with other members. And yes I went through my messages and counted up the days. If I press delete all it shows me how many messages me and that person sent. The reason I did that was because in the time it took me to do the math, my craving has gone away. This site has taught me to fight nicotine with distraction. And boy have I been staying distracted.
What's changed from day 1 to day 50?
My thoughts is the first thing to pop up. I feel like I have a new brain. Its hard to explain it, but I can think more clearly. I'm rationalizing things with a sober mind. I feel more free when it comes to my thoughts..
I was talking to my wife about friendships. And to prove a point, I pulled out my phone to call someone who I haven't spoken to in 6 years. He picked up and he and I starting talking. He and I used to party all the time. We were getting drunk regularly by the time we were 16. He came out and told me that he to had a nicotine addiction. He was smoking a pack and chewing two tins a day. My man is 7 years sober now from everything. Just ran a 5k the other day and finished 3rd.
Now would this conversation happened if I was chewing at that moment? Who knows. But It happened during my quit and that to me is a win.
I have learned that I am completely obsessed with nicotine. And that's why I became completely obsessed with KTC. I spend all my free time on this site because it helps me. KTC will be something I do for the rest of my life. Without this site I know I will cave.
Last year on this day I dont remember anything except I woke up and put a pinch in. Today I woke up and wrote a little something for my 50th day quit. This site really works if you commit yourself to it.
Drink the kool aid. Stay classy. ODAAT.
Here's to knocking down the first 50. Next stop HoF baby.
Gold.
Keep these thoughts... keep this momentum rolling any way you can.
Freedom is yours, dude, and it just gets better. Trust me. It does.
Ask me how I know...
AJ... 2,366 days of Freedom.
Day 50 was big for me symbolically. Half a HOF! Just be on guard for those funks ahead, cause they are there. But your head and heart is exactly where it needs to be. Keep crushing it, SixString!!!
Did somebody say Half Hoff??? (https://media.giphy.com/media/dF2w3l5gudW3C/giphy.gif)
Awesome Job SS! I truely admire your story and creativity.I drew a tiger
It came to life.
That is a true story. Maybe the name of my first album.
Let me take you back a few years ago. Before I ever touched an instrument. I had a friend. He was my best friend, my almost best man, a brother from another mother.(We don't talk anymore). He was a talented musician. I mean even thinking about it now, this dude was a music genius. Ive known him for almost 18 years.(I'm 30). To watch him grow as a musician was a blessing. I was there for when he was just coming up with an idea of a song. I got to watch him create magic from that idea. From the attic to the studio.... The studio... I still remember my first time being in a studio. Gosh what an experience. Just being a bystander sitting on this nice leather couch, and just watching how a song is created for the first time ever. How hyped I was seeing a genius create such a beautiful work of art. Its truly breathtaking. It didn't stop there, every weekend we were somewhere different in Chicago doing shows. I mean WOW. I got to hang out with an upcoming musician doing all these crazy things with him in one of the greatest cities to be doing these crazy things in. Then came House of Blues Chicago. :). I got to be backstage, and on stage the entire time with him. It still puts a smile on my face. Seeing my best friend shining. It was awesome.
He just had the ear. I was jealous. Even before I started playing music. It was just ridiculous how he can pick up any instrument and jump into any key and just go off. I got to see him do this millions of times. One thing I notice is how some ladies will try to talk to him and he will just ignore them. I asked " Dude why don't you play music to get girls numbers?" He told me that its about the music. I laughed. I told him that if he wasn't going to do it then I will. Next week I bought my first guitar. She was a beautiful. So beautiful that I got a tattoo of her on my arm.
What I didn't realize when I when I made this purchase was there is a lot work to be done...LoL..LoL...LoL Ok lets get to work. So of course I had a million questions that I thought would be answer by my musical genius friend. He told me that he didn't know the answers...What? He told me that he just hears it. That when it comes to music theory or just explaining music, he had no clue. So I mention before about hearing problems. My ear canals start closed then open. So that means a sound has to hit a certain decibel before my ears pick it up. So if you are a soft speaking person standing a foot a way. I cant hear you. But I can hear birds whistling a good 100 feet away. Its a blessing and a curse. I have tried hearing aids multiple times. Yeah I can hear normal conversations, but then that sound of a fork scraping a plate increases. It feels like a knife stabbing my brain. And it got annoying that I can hear everyone's conversations. So that meant I have to learn music theory....
Music theory in my OPINION can only teach you so much. No one wants a robot playing just sounds. I rather being a musician that can make people feel, than be a musician that knows every scale forwards and backwards. Music theory doesn't teach you about what influences your music. You know chords that sound like sad chords,but can you make people feel sad with those chords? One of my influences happens to be Hendrix. Not because of his play style or his amazing music. It was how he approached the guitar. He took it everywhere. I mean everywhere. So that's what I did. Every time you saw me I had a guitar in my hand. All day everyday. I felt like I was so far behind from my friend that I was committed to catching up to him. People stopped inviting me to hang out because I would just go in a corner and practice. Some guy got really pissed at me because I wouldn't put my guitar in the trunk so he can get a ride. All that matter to me was making progress. My friend didn't like who I became. Even though he was someone who drank from morning to night. He judged me and my choices and we stopped talking. I kept working on without him. Grinding 24/7 wanting a chance to let people hear my music. I was in a studio all the time just recording. I met my first producer about a year into playing. He saw my potential, he still records me till this day. He taught me how to take my street performer magic and put it on a track. He taught me that everyday is a blessing to be able to chase my dream. GO FOR IT.
I think my favorite thing about being a musician is hearing what others have to say. They talk about how they get taken away to different place. That the energy is vibrant and beating with positivity. How some go to space, while others imagine being on the beach... It means a lot to me to hear that. It drives me to want to be get better everyday. I approach music like a blank canvas. Since I cant hear sounds, I have been teaching myself how to feel them. So when I close my eyes I can see a different colors for each note. The guitar is my paintbrush.. I want to take you to a place where all you know is love. I want to give you a reason to just smile, because smiling is an amazing gift and its contagious. I want my music to remind you of why you believe in love and happiness. Ill take you on a journey, I'm not really good at communication. But with my guitar I can tell you stories that people wish they can hear me say. When I am stage I transform. I feel like my true self. Something about all eyes on me just gets my heart racing like no other. To play my own music and have people listen... That's a cool sentence to write out. I love music. I always will. Never going to stop chasing that dream to live out my life the way I see fit.
Why am I writing all of this? Honestly I am still trying to figure out who I am without nicotine. I have had many days where I wake up and say "OK I am not dipping, now what?" I had a realization that this mindset will not help me gain progress in this journey. So this is just a reminder that life doesn't stop for you because you are having a bad day. This is a reminder that I have my dreams to continue chasing. That nicotine isn't who I am. I'm an amazing person. Head in the clouds feet on the ground kind of guy. I'm an addict and that's OK. Nicotine wants me to feel sorry about it not being in my life. I'm over that and taking back control of who I want to be.
Day 65 I Quit With You Today.
Awesome Job SS! I truely admire your story and creativity.I drew a tiger
It came to life.
That is a true story. Maybe the name of my first album.
Let me take you back a few years ago. Before I ever touched an instrument. I had a friend. He was my best friend, my almost best man, a brother from another mother.(We don't talk anymore). He was a talented musician. I mean even thinking about it now, this dude was a music genius. Ive known him for almost 18 years.(I'm 30). To watch him grow as a musician was a blessing. I was there for when he was just coming up with an idea of a song. I got to watch him create magic from that idea. From the attic to the studio.... The studio... I still remember my first time being in a studio. Gosh what an experience. Just being a bystander sitting on this nice leather couch, and just watching how a song is created for the first time ever. How hyped I was seeing a genius create such a beautiful work of art. Its truly breathtaking. It didn't stop there, every weekend we were somewhere different in Chicago doing shows. I mean WOW. I got to hang out with an upcoming musician doing all these crazy things with him in one of the greatest cities to be doing these crazy things in. Then came House of Blues Chicago. :). I got to be backstage, and on stage the entire time with him. It still puts a smile on my face. Seeing my best friend shining. It was awesome.
He just had the ear. I was jealous. Even before I started playing music. It was just ridiculous how he can pick up any instrument and jump into any key and just go off. I got to see him do this millions of times. One thing I notice is how some ladies will try to talk to him and he will just ignore them. I asked " Dude why don't you play music to get girls numbers?" He told me that its about the music. I laughed. I told him that if he wasn't going to do it then I will. Next week I bought my first guitar. She was a beautiful. So beautiful that I got a tattoo of her on my arm.
What I didn't realize when I when I made this purchase was there is a lot work to be done...LoL..LoL...LoL Ok lets get to work. So of course I had a million questions that I thought would be answer by my musical genius friend. He told me that he didn't know the answers...What? He told me that he just hears it. That when it comes to music theory or just explaining music, he had no clue. So I mention before about hearing problems. My ear canals start closed then open. So that means a sound has to hit a certain decibel before my ears pick it up. So if you are a soft speaking person standing a foot a way. I cant hear you. But I can hear birds whistling a good 100 feet away. Its a blessing and a curse. I have tried hearing aids multiple times. Yeah I can hear normal conversations, but then that sound of a fork scraping a plate increases. It feels like a knife stabbing my brain. And it got annoying that I can hear everyone's conversations. So that meant I have to learn music theory....
Music theory in my OPINION can only teach you so much. No one wants a robot playing just sounds. I rather being a musician that can make people feel, than be a musician that knows every scale forwards and backwards. Music theory doesn't teach you about what influences your music. You know chords that sound like sad chords,but can you make people feel sad with those chords? One of my influences happens to be Hendrix. Not because of his play style or his amazing music. It was how he approached the guitar. He took it everywhere. I mean everywhere. So that's what I did. Every time you saw me I had a guitar in my hand. All day everyday. I felt like I was so far behind from my friend that I was committed to catching up to him. People stopped inviting me to hang out because I would just go in a corner and practice. Some guy got really pissed at me because I wouldn't put my guitar in the trunk so he can get a ride. All that matter to me was making progress. My friend didn't like who I became. Even though he was someone who drank from morning to night. He judged me and my choices and we stopped talking. I kept working on without him. Grinding 24/7 wanting a chance to let people hear my music. I was in a studio all the time just recording. I met my first producer about a year into playing. He saw my potential, he still records me till this day. He taught me how to take my street performer magic and put it on a track. He taught me that everyday is a blessing to be able to chase my dream. GO FOR IT.
I think my favorite thing about being a musician is hearing what others have to say. They talk about how they get taken away to different place. That the energy is vibrant and beating with positivity. How some go to space, while others imagine being on the beach... It means a lot to me to hear that. It drives me to want to be get better everyday. I approach music like a blank canvas. Since I cant hear sounds, I have been teaching myself how to feel them. So when I close my eyes I can see a different colors for each note. The guitar is my paintbrush.. I want to take you to a place where all you know is love. I want to give you a reason to just smile, because smiling is an amazing gift and its contagious. I want my music to remind you of why you believe in love and happiness. Ill take you on a journey, I'm not really good at communication. But with my guitar I can tell you stories that people wish they can hear me say. When I am stage I transform. I feel like my true self. Something about all eyes on me just gets my heart racing like no other. To play my own music and have people listen... That's a cool sentence to write out. I love music. I always will. Never going to stop chasing that dream to live out my life the way I see fit.
Why am I writing all of this? Honestly I am still trying to figure out who I am without nicotine. I have had many days where I wake up and say "OK I am not dipping, now what?" I had a realization that this mindset will not help me gain progress in this journey. So this is just a reminder that life doesn't stop for you because you are having a bad day. This is a reminder that I have my dreams to continue chasing. That nicotine isn't who I am. I'm an amazing person. Head in the clouds feet on the ground kind of guy. I'm an addict and that's OK. Nicotine wants me to feel sorry about it not being in my life. I'm over that and taking back control of who I want to be.
Day 65 I Quit With You Today.
POOF
Congratulations on Hall of Fame!
'40' 'dance' 'chew2' 'wave' 'poledancer'
Keep it up bro - it ain't HOF and done. Great job paying it forward and congratulations!Congratulations on Hall of Fame!
'40' 'dance' 'chew2' 'wave' 'poledancer'
Honored to quit with you today, and every day. Well done sir.
CONGRATULATIONS! Honored to quit with you!Keep it up bro - it ain't HOF and done. Great job paying it forward and congratulations!Congratulations on Hall of Fame!
'40' 'dance' 'chew2' 'wave' 'poledancer'
Honored to quit with you today, and every day. Well done sir.
Congrats on your HOF day @SixString (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=15311)! Keep kicking ass and taking names!CONGRATULATIONS! Honored to quit with you!Keep it up bro - it ain't HOF and done. Great job paying it forward and congratulations!Congratulations on Hall of Fame!
'40' 'dance' 'chew2' 'wave' 'poledancer'
Honored to quit with you today, and every day. Well done sir.
Again brother, congrats on the HOF. Damn proud to be quit with you. And damn glad to see your 101 on roll today!Congrats on your HOF day @SixString (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=15311)! Keep kicking ass and taking names!CONGRATULATIONS! Honored to quit with you!Keep it up bro - it ain't HOF and done. Great job paying it forward and congratulations!Congratulations on Hall of Fame!
'40' 'dance' 'chew2' 'wave' 'poledancer'
Honored to quit with you today, and every day. Well done sir.
I'm an artist. I'm still struggling in that maze between being ok with playing music consistently again. For some reason writing in here.. well it's great release as KTC offers.. EnjoyPreach on brother. Bring in the hard ass quitters who drink the KTC Kool aid. The rest fit into the "trample the weak, hurdle the dead" phrase
Dear @SixString (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=15311),
Wow congrats you made it to 111 days. *claps* GG I guess you win. Theres no way I can beat you, your quit is too powerful. Before I leave can I just say one thing? Four thousand, six hundred and thirty-four days..... One hundred eleven thousand, two hundred sixteen hours.....four hundred nine million, nine hundred sixty-eight thousand seconds. That's how much time I still have over you. Lol I cant wait to trap you :). Don't you remember it was ME that you came to when you no one else understood you? You want to know how I can mess with your head right now? Here let ME whisper you something... Your music is incomplete without ME. *giggles* I bet when something weird happens with your mood you think of ME. You think of ME when its overcoming challenges about ME. I Love it. You come here to distract yourself from ME. But it was ME who brought you here in the first place. Tell all your little friends I havent forgotten about them either.Tell them it was ME who convinced them to lay with ME. Tell them it was ME who whispered all the lies to tell so we can be together. ME.ME.ME.ME.IM THE DEVIL I OWN ALL YOUR SOULSOh Six.. what makes you think I was going to strike on day 1, or day 51? See you when I see you. Remember I'm the only thing that makes you happy.
Yours truly,
Nicotine
PSA about me (oh this is going to be good)
For any of you soft ass baby wannabe quitters. The next time your wittle addict feelings get hurt fill one of these out (https://www.reddit.com/r/Military/comments/y67b8/behold_the_hurt_feelings_report_an_oldie_but_a)
Some of you new quitters are some bum ass jabronis. Doing the minimum amount of effort with your fake ass quit. You think I give a Fck about hurting your tootie footie addict feelings.
I Dont.
I swear some of yall got the thinnest skin in the world. Lmao. PATHETIC. KTC is a doghouse. I'm a pitbull what are you? When it comes to nicotine the only place I know where to bite is the the jugular. So don't piss your pants when I show my teeth bitch. Grow a pair.
But you wont. You are gonna sit there and message someone wondering if I'm talking about your bum ass.
Heres my group (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=15766.0) come @ me. I would love to school any of you new quitters on some KTC logic. Always talking with your ADDICT feelings and shit. Please let me make you look stupid. Again you wont because you are chicken bawk bawk bawk. Stay behind your lame ass idea that you have about KTC. YA CHICKEN.
For any of you noobs who are reading this. You quit is weak like wet noodles. Get your group active or I pull out my bag of tricks. Hate me or love me. Zero fucks given. I'm here for my quit. Dont worry you will see this pretty face again.
:gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann:
I seriously just got done reading old McDonald had a farm to my two year old before bed. I did not realize how fitting the characters would be to six’s post and KTC quittingI'm an artist. I'm still struggling in that maze between being ok with playing music consistently again. For some reason writing in here.. well it's great release as KTC offers.. EnjoyPreach on brother. Bring in the hard ass quitters who drink the KTC Kool aid. The rest fit into the "trample the weak, hurdle the dead" phrase
Dear @SixString (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=15311),
Wow congrats you made it to 111 days. *claps* GG I guess you win. Theres no way I can beat you, your quit is too powerful. Before I leave can I just say one thing? Four thousand, six hundred and thirty-four days..... One hundred eleven thousand, two hundred sixteen hours.....four hundred nine million, nine hundred sixty-eight thousand seconds. That's how much time I still have over you. Lol I cant wait to trap you :). Don't you remember it was ME that you came to when you no one else understood you? You want to know how I can mess with your head right now? Here let ME whisper you something... Your music is incomplete without ME. *giggles* I bet when something weird happens with your mood you think of ME. You think of ME when its overcoming challenges about ME. I Love it. You come here to distract yourself from ME. But it was ME who brought you here in the first place. Tell all your little friends I havent forgotten about them either.Tell them it was ME who convinced them to lay with ME. Tell them it was ME who whispered all the lies to tell so we can be together. ME.ME.ME.ME.IM THE DEVIL I OWN ALL YOUR SOULSOh Six.. what makes you think I was going to strike on day 1, or day 51? See you when I see you. Remember I'm the only thing that makes you happy.
Yours truly,
Nicotine
PSA about me (oh this is going to be good)
For any of you soft ass baby wannabe quitters. The next time your wittle addict feelings get hurt fill one of these out (https://www.reddit.com/r/Military/comments/y67b8/behold_the_hurt_feelings_report_an_oldie_but_a)
Some of you new quitters are some bum ass jabronis. Doing the minimum amount of effort with your fake ass quit. You think I give a Fck about hurting your tootie footie addict feelings.
I Dont.
I swear some of yall got the thinnest skin in the world. Lmao. PATHETIC. KTC is a doghouse. I'm a pitbull what are you? When it comes to nicotine the only place I know where to bite is the the jugular. So don't piss your pants when I show my teeth bitch. Grow a pair.
But you wont. You are gonna sit there and message someone wondering if I'm talking about your bum ass.
Heres my group (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=15766.0) come @ me. I would love to school any of you new quitters on some KTC logic. Always talking with your ADDICT feelings and shit. Please let me make you look stupid. Again you wont because you are chicken bawk bawk bawk. Stay behind your lame ass idea that you have about KTC. YA CHICKEN.
For any of you noobs who are reading this. You quit is weak like wet noodles. Get your group active or I pull out my bag of tricks. Hate me or love me. Zero fucks given. I'm here for my quit. Dont worry you will see this pretty face again.
:gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann:
Razd approves of this message...….I seriously just got done reading old McDonald had a farm to my two year old before bed. I did not realize how fitting the characters would be to six’s post and KTC quittingI'm an artist. I'm still struggling in that maze between being ok with playing music consistently again. For some reason writing in here.. well it's great release as KTC offers.. EnjoyPreach on brother. Bring in the hard ass quitters who drink the KTC Kool aid. The rest fit into the "trample the weak, hurdle the dead" phrase
Dear @SixString (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=15311),
Wow congrats you made it to 111 days. *claps* GG I guess you win. Theres no way I can beat you, your quit is too powerful. Before I leave can I just say one thing? Four thousand, six hundred and thirty-four days..... One hundred eleven thousand, two hundred sixteen hours.....four hundred nine million, nine hundred sixty-eight thousand seconds. That's how much time I still have over you. Lol I cant wait to trap you :). Don't you remember it was ME that you came to when you no one else understood you? You want to know how I can mess with your head right now? Here let ME whisper you something... Your music is incomplete without ME. *giggles* I bet when something weird happens with your mood you think of ME. You think of ME when its overcoming challenges about ME. I Love it. You come here to distract yourself from ME. But it was ME who brought you here in the first place. Tell all your little friends I havent forgotten about them either.Tell them it was ME who convinced them to lay with ME. Tell them it was ME who whispered all the lies to tell so we can be together. ME.ME.ME.ME.IM THE DEVIL I OWN ALL YOUR SOULSOh Six.. what makes you think I was going to strike on day 1, or day 51? See you when I see you. Remember I'm the only thing that makes you happy.
Yours truly,
Nicotine
PSA about me (oh this is going to be good)
For any of you soft ass baby wannabe quitters. The next time your wittle addict feelings get hurt fill one of these out (https://www.reddit.com/r/Military/comments/y67b8/behold_the_hurt_feelings_report_an_oldie_but_a)
Some of you new quitters are some bum ass jabronis. Doing the minimum amount of effort with your fake ass quit. You think I give a Fck about hurting your tootie footie addict feelings.
I Dont.
I swear some of yall got the thinnest skin in the world. Lmao. PATHETIC. KTC is a doghouse. I'm a pitbull what are you? When it comes to nicotine the only place I know where to bite is the the jugular. So don't piss your pants when I show my teeth bitch. Grow a pair.
But you wont. You are gonna sit there and message someone wondering if I'm talking about your bum ass.
Heres my group (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=15766.0) come @ me. I would love to school any of you new quitters on some KTC logic. Always talking with your ADDICT feelings and shit. Please let me make you look stupid. Again you wont because you are chicken bawk bawk bawk. Stay behind your lame ass idea that you have about KTC. YA CHICKEN.
For any of you noobs who are reading this. You quit is weak like wet noodles. Get your group active or I pull out my bag of tricks. Hate me or love me. Zero fucks given. I'm here for my quit. Dont worry you will see this pretty face again.
:gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann: :gmann:
“With a cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there, here a cluck there a cluck everywhere a cluck cluck”
Old Micky D’s got some sheep too! And a dog to tend to those sheep who ultimately protects them.
You chickens should at least turn into sheep “baa baa” and follow and let yourselves be protected ... some of you shining stars will turn into the dog.
Ruff Ruff