KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: CoachK33 on October 21, 2018, 09:20:33 PM
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I was halfway through and accidentally deleted it all. Blah.
I pulled into a parking spot at one of the many softball fields I played at. I was 29, and my gf left her tin of Skoal pouches in my car. I popped one in, to see the what all the fuss was about. I got the head rush, almost threw up, but felt this instantly good feeling. That was the start...
My first 5 years were sporadic. She would buy it and I would ration like 3 pouches/day, as I didn’t want to buy it myself. I teach in the town I live, so I didn’t want people seeing.
When we broke up, one would think that would be the end. Nope. I just started venturing outside of town to buy and not care. Make excuses to go for car rides, etc, just to get some more. So for the last 5 years, I’ve been a regular user. About a tin every 2 days.
I’ve tried many times in the past to quit. Something always brings me back.
In 2015 I lost my grandfather.
In 2016, I suddenly lost my mother.
In 2017, my father in law finally ended his long painful battle with cancer.
In 2018... well, my stepkids’ Father got arrested, ended up dying, I bought a house, broke my hand and turned 40. I also gave up alcohol for the year. What better time to quit? And relapse. And quit again. And relapse. With each of these stressors cane another relapse. So finally, here I am, using this site to keep me accountable, and I’m 63 days in.
This morning, I pulled into that same softball field from 11 years ago... and did not dip. Like an alcoholic going into a favorite bar and drinking water... major victory. Tomorrow brings new challenges, but I won today.
Thanks to arrakisdq for suggesting I write this!
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That's awesome bro! I'm with you all the way!! Major victory!!! I quit with you! Day 21 for me!
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I was halfway through and accidentally deleted it all. Blah.
I pulled into a parking spot at one of the many softball fields I played at. I was 29, and my gf left her tin of Skoal pouches in my car. I popped one in, to see the what all the fuss was about. I got the head rush, almost threw up, but felt this instantly good feeling. That was the start...
My first 5 years were sporadic. She would buy it and I would ration like 3 pouches/day, as I didn’t want to buy it myself. I teach in the town I live, so I didn’t want people seeing.
When we broke up, one would think that would be the end. Nope. I just started venturing outside of town to buy and not care. Make excuses to go for car rides, etc, just to get some more. So for the last 5 years, I’ve been a regular user. About a tin every 2 days.
I’ve tried many times in the past to quit. Something always brings me back.
In 2015 I lost my grandfather.
In 2016, I suddenly lost my mother.
In 2017, my father in law finally ended his long painful battle with cancer.
In 2018... well, my stepkids’ Father got arrested, ended up dying, I bought a house, broke my hand and turned 40. I also gave up alcohol for the year. What better time to quit? And relapse. And quit again. And relapse. With each of these stressors cane another relapse. So finally, here I am, using this site to keep me accountable, and I’m 63 days in.
This morning, I pulled into that same softball field from 11 years ago... and did not dip. Like an alcoholic going into a favorite bar and drinking water... major victory. Tomorrow brings new challenges, but I won today.
Thanks to arrakisdq for suggesting I write this!
That's great CoachK! Nice win!
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I was halfway through and accidentally deleted it all. Blah.
I pulled into a parking spot at one of the many softball fields I played at. I was 29, and my gf left her tin of Skoal pouches in my car. I popped one in, to see the what all the fuss was about. I got the head rush, almost threw up, but felt this instantly good feeling. That was the start...
My first 5 years were sporadic. She would buy it and I would ration like 3 pouches/day, as I didn’t want to buy it myself. I teach in the town I live, so I didn’t want people seeing.
When we broke up, one would think that would be the end. Nope. I just started venturing outside of town to buy and not care. Make excuses to go for car rides, etc, just to get some more. So for the last 5 years, I’ve been a regular user. About a tin every 2 days.
I’ve tried many times in the past to quit. Something always brings me back.
In 2015 I lost my grandfather.
In 2016, I suddenly lost my mother.
In 2017, my father in law finally ended his long painful battle with cancer.
In 2018... well, my stepkids’ Father got arrested, ended up dying, I bought a house, broke my hand and turned 40. I also gave up alcohol for the year. What better time to quit? And relapse. And quit again. And relapse. With each of these stressors cane another relapse. So finally, here I am, using this site to keep me accountable, and I’m 63 days in.
This morning, I pulled into that same softball field from 11 years ago... and did not dip. Like an alcoholic going into a favorite bar and drinking water... major victory. Tomorrow brings new challenges, but I won today.
Thanks to arrakisdq for suggesting I write this!
That's great CoachK! Nice win!
Once in a while an intro like this shows up, and it brings me back to my own day one. Coach, I hid this horrible addiction for over 20 years. 20 years of scheming and hiding, being downright ashamed. But never missing my hit. Like you, I used every excuse in the book. Job. Family problems. Illnesses. Rain. Sun. Snow. Wind. Sunday. Monday. You name it, I justified it.
You have the attitude and approach of a winner. You can read it in your words. What you don't know, yet, is that quitting nicotine isn't just quitting nicotine. Right now you are pushing through the pain of the mental withdrawal, but you don't see the freedom that is ahead. You don't see how good you will feel, how great it is to not have these strings tying you down. No more lying. No more scheming. Just freedom. But, as I said, I can read in your words that you are on your way to freedom.
It is an honor to quit with you. Should you need a contact number, or any support, send me a message. I'd be happy to share my phone number - winning together is much easier than fighting alone. 2,131 days ago I joined KTC, and without a team pushing me forward, I'd still be walking in every day with my head hanging to buy a tin of Kodiak.
Killer intro, bro.
--worktowin
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I was halfway through and accidentally deleted it all. Blah.
I pulled into a parking spot at one of the many softball fields I played at. I was 29, and my gf left her tin of Skoal pouches in my car. I popped one in, to see the what all the fuss was about. I got the head rush, almost threw up, but felt this instantly good feeling. That was the start...
My first 5 years were sporadic. She would buy it and I would ration like 3 pouches/day, as I didn’t want to buy it myself. I teach in the town I live, so I didn’t want people seeing.
When we broke up, one would think that would be the end. Nope. I just started venturing outside of town to buy and not care. Make excuses to go for car rides, etc, just to get some more. So for the last 5 years, I’ve been a regular user. About a tin every 2 days.
I’ve tried many times in the past to quit. Something always brings me back.
In 2015 I lost my grandfather.
In 2016, I suddenly lost my mother.
In 2017, my father in law finally ended his long painful battle with cancer.
In 2018... well, my stepkids’ Father got arrested, ended up dying, I bought a house, broke my hand and turned 40. I also gave up alcohol for the year. What better time to quit? And relapse. And quit again. And relapse. With each of these stressors cane another relapse. So finally, here I am, using this site to keep me accountable, and I’m 63 days in.
This morning, I pulled into that same softball field from 11 years ago... and did not dip. Like an alcoholic going into a favorite bar and drinking water... major victory. Tomorrow brings new challenges, but I won today.
Thanks to arrakisdq for suggesting I write this!
That's great CoachK! Nice win!
Once in a while an intro like this shows up, and it brings me back to my own day one. Coach, I hid this horrible addiction for over 20 years. 20 years of scheming and hiding, being downright ashamed. But never missing my hit. Like you, I used every excuse in the book. Job. Family problems. Illnesses. Rain. Sun. Snow. Wind. Sunday. Monday. You name it, I justified it.
You have the attitude and approach of a winner. You can read it in your words. What you don't know, yet, is that quitting nicotine isn't just quitting nicotine. Right now you are pushing through the pain of the mental withdrawal, but you don't see the freedom that is ahead. You don't see how good you will feel, how great it is to not have these strings tying you down. No more lying. No more scheming. Just freedom. But, as I said, I can read in your words that you are on your way to freedom.
It is an honor to quit with you. Should you need a contact number, or any support, send me a message. I'd be happy to share my phone number - winning together is much easier than fighting alone. 2,131 days ago I joined KTC, and without a team pushing me forward, I'd still be walking in every day with my head hanging to buy a tin of Kodiak.
Killer intro, bro.
--worktowin
2131... isn’t that the number of consecutive games that Cal Ripken Jr. needed to break Gherig’s record? Heck of an achievement!!! It’s an honor to quit with you, and to have you as one of my lines of support!
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I was halfway through and accidentally deleted it all. Blah.
I pulled into a parking spot at one of the many softball fields I played at. I was 29, and my gf left her tin of Skoal pouches in my car. I popped one in, to see the what all the fuss was about. I got the head rush, almost threw up, but felt this instantly good feeling. That was the start...
My first 5 years were sporadic. She would buy it and I would ration like 3 pouches/day, as I didn’t want to buy it myself. I teach in the town I live, so I didn’t want people seeing.
When we broke up, one would think that would be the end. Nope. I just started venturing outside of town to buy and not care. Make excuses to go for car rides, etc, just to get some more. So for the last 5 years, I’ve been a regular user. About a tin every 2 days.
I’ve tried many times in the past to quit. Something always brings me back.
In 2015 I lost my grandfather.
In 2016, I suddenly lost my mother.
In 2017, my father in law finally ended his long painful battle with cancer.
In 2018... well, my stepkids’ Father got arrested, ended up dying, I bought a house, broke my hand and turned 40. I also gave up alcohol for the year. What better time to quit? And relapse. And quit again. And relapse. With each of these stressors cane another relapse. So finally, here I am, using this site to keep me accountable, and I’m 63 days in.
This morning, I pulled into that same softball field from 11 years ago... and did not dip. Like an alcoholic going into a favorite bar and drinking water... major victory. Tomorrow brings new challenges, but I won today.
Thanks to arrakisdq for suggesting I write this!
That's great CoachK! Nice win!
Once in a while an intro like this shows up, and it brings me back to my own day one. Coach, I hid this horrible addiction for over 20 years. 20 years of scheming and hiding, being downright ashamed. But never missing my hit. Like you, I used every excuse in the book. Job. Family problems. Illnesses. Rain. Sun. Snow. Wind. Sunday. Monday. You name it, I justified it.
You have the attitude and approach of a winner. You can read it in your words. What you don't know, yet, is that quitting nicotine isn't just quitting nicotine. Right now you are pushing through the pain of the mental withdrawal, but you don't see the freedom that is ahead. You don't see how good you will feel, how great it is to not have these strings tying you down. No more lying. No more scheming. Just freedom. But, as I said, I can read in your words that you are on your way to freedom.
It is an honor to quit with you. Should you need a contact number, or any support, send me a message. I'd be happy to share my phone number - winning together is much easier than fighting alone. 2,131 days ago I joined KTC, and without a team pushing me forward, I'd still be walking in every day with my head hanging to buy a tin of Kodiak.
Killer intro, bro.
--worktowin
2131... isn’t that the number of consecutive games that Cal Ripken Jr. needed to break Gherig’s record? Heck of an achievement!!! It’s an honor to quit with you, and to have you as one of my lines of support!
Huge victory! Every day you hit those hurdles and jump over them, you gain strength! Awesome!
-
I was halfway through and accidentally deleted it all. Blah.
I pulled into a parking spot at one of the many softball fields I played at. I was 29, and my gf left her tin of Skoal pouches in my car. I popped one in, to see the what all the fuss was about. I got the head rush, almost threw up, but felt this instantly good feeling. That was the start...
My first 5 years were sporadic. She would buy it and I would ration like 3 pouches/day, as I didn’t want to buy it myself. I teach in the town I live, so I didn’t want people seeing.
When we broke up, one would think that would be the end. Nope. I just started venturing outside of town to buy and not care. Make excuses to go for car rides, etc, just to get some more. So for the last 5 years, I’ve been a regular user. About a tin every 2 days.
I’ve tried many times in the past to quit. Something always brings me back.
In 2015 I lost my grandfather.
In 2016, I suddenly lost my mother.
In 2017, my father in law finally ended his long painful battle with cancer.
In 2018... well, my stepkids’ Father got arrested, ended up dying, I bought a house, broke my hand and turned 40. I also gave up alcohol for the year. What better time to quit? And relapse. And quit again. And relapse. With each of these stressors cane another relapse. So finally, here I am, using this site to keep me accountable, and I’m 63 days in.
This morning, I pulled into that same softball field from 11 years ago... and did not dip. Like an alcoholic going into a favorite bar and drinking water... major victory. Tomorrow brings new challenges, but I won today.
Thanks to arrakisdq for suggesting I write this!
That's great CoachK! Nice win!
Once in a while an intro like this shows up, and it brings me back to my own day one. Coach, I hid this horrible addiction for over 20 years. 20 years of scheming and hiding, being downright ashamed. But never missing my hit. Like you, I used every excuse in the book. Job. Family problems. Illnesses. Rain. Sun. Snow. Wind. Sunday. Monday. You name it, I justified it.
You have the attitude and approach of a winner. You can read it in your words. What you don't know, yet, is that quitting nicotine isn't just quitting nicotine. Right now you are pushing through the pain of the mental withdrawal, but you don't see the freedom that is ahead. You don't see how good you will feel, how great it is to not have these strings tying you down. No more lying. No more scheming. Just freedom. But, as I said, I can read in your words that you are on your way to freedom.
It is an honor to quit with you. Should you need a contact number, or any support, send me a message. I'd be happy to share my phone number - winning together is much easier than fighting alone. 2,131 days ago I joined KTC, and without a team pushing me forward, I'd still be walking in every day with my head hanging to buy a tin of Kodiak.
Killer intro, bro.
--worktowin
2131... isn’t that the number of consecutive games that Cal Ripken Jr. needed to break Gherig’s record? Heck of an achievement!!! It’s an honor to quit with you, and to have you as one of my lines of support!
Huge victory! Every day you hit those hurdles and jump over them, you gain strength! Awesome!
Coach,
I know you've had a tough week... one that has been full of personal and professional struggles. But throughout, you are winning. You are doing something that you didn't know you could do before, and that feels better than pushing through the struggles. One day at a time, life will keep getting better.
We are here if you need anything.
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Oh man, last week was rough. Started out with a new coworker dropping dead on his third day on the job. I had never met him. Ended with me spending Saturday mostly in bed due to stress/depression. Probably somewhat from the nicotine blahs, and the rest on the just plain awful year my family has had. Struggling to keep my relationship alive, to keep the kids on the right track after losing their father, and of course one has serious health problems (she was born with them) and needs surgery next week. I feel like I’m living a movie sometimes. Or from April-August, an episode of Dateline.
But.... I can still celebrate the fact that I haven’t caved... thanks to this site, and a few people in particular.
I know I’m all over, and maybe one of these days I’ll have the patience to type out my whole crazy situation.... it’s a doozy, but it will no longer be my excuse to dip.
Hope you all voted today... whether we agree on the issues, we have more in common than we have differences... and KTC is a big commonality!
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Oh man, last week was rough. Started out with a new coworker dropping dead on his third day on the job. I had never met him. Ended with me spending Saturday mostly in bed due to stress/depression. Probably somewhat from the nicotine blahs, and the rest on the just plain awful year my family has had. Struggling to keep my relationship alive, to keep the kids on the right track after losing their father, and of course one has serious health problems (she was born with them) and needs surgery next week. I feel like I’m living a movie sometimes. Or from April-August, an episode of Dateline.
But.... I can still celebrate the fact that I haven’t caved... thanks to this site, and a few people in particular.
I know I’m all over, and maybe one of these days I’ll have the patience to type out my whole crazy situation.... it’s a doozy, but it will no longer be my excuse to dip.
Hope you all voted today... whether we agree on the issues, we have more in common than we have differences... and KTC is a big commonality!
Keep going Coach, one boot in front of the other, I believe in you and so do others on this magical site.
Problem + Problem = 2 fucking problems Dip won't help shit except one more worry
You got this man, stay strong and vigilant, all though it may not feel like it, those kids look up to you always.
Keep fighting
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I really think you're going to make it CoachK. I'm very looking forward to eating my words on your HOF!
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Quit Date
8/17/18
First timer here. Quit on August 18, and going through all the crazy symptoms, “I’m dying” anxiety (allergies and sinus issues that I’ve had all my life, but now I’M DYING), and mood swings. I’m 40, Started on the pouches 10ish years ago, just because it was available me and I was curious... and i found it kept my anxiety down and my focus up! Plus, i have always been a gum chewer so the oral fixation thing was a bonus too. I tried multiple times to quit, and now I’ve just had enough.
I just bought a house that I love.
I have a relationship and family I love.
I have a job that, on most days, I love.
Quit drinking at the start of this year, so really trying to hop on the healthy train.
IÂ’ve lurked on this site for a little bit now, but I really want the support of a community. IÂ’m female, so 99% of the people in my life donÂ’t know that I had this gross little habit.
Nice to meet you all, and glad to have others to go through this with!
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Welcome.
Wow, you've made it three weeks on your own. That's great. You're through the worst of it.
I see you posted roll. Keep doing that every single day - weekends, holidays, birthdays and sick days included. Posting roll is the secret that keeps us quit. It sounds silly - making a promise to a bunch of internet strangers, but after a while you will get to know the people in your group, and they will become your brothers and sisters, and the last thing in the world you will want to do is let any of them down by caving.
On word of caution - you referred to your "gross little habit". Keep in mind this is a full-blown addiction. Fundamentally, we are no different than a heroin addict. You would be well served to think of it as an addiction.
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Glad to see you on here and owning your quit Coach. I'll PM you my number, as I'm sure many else will as well. The accountability in the morning really helps. Stay strong, you're through the worst of it.
Day 28 for me - IQWYT
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Welcome to the quit party! You are making a great choice! I will send you my number if you want some added accountability! Based on your quit date you are going to be in the bad ass November group!!!
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CoachK! Congratulations, you're there! At the start of a new life, new, thoughts, new day and quite honestly more cash in your hand. Keep doing it!
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Thanks, guys. Got through my first coaching game without it. Well, without the post-game dip to relax me. I had a giant wad of gum all during the game, and it seemsd to help... I was sick of having something in my mouth by the tone the game ended. Also, was in my car, rummaging g through my center console, and found 2 unused pouches....and threw them right out the window. CanÂ’t say I didnÂ’t think about it... but... I thought about how I JUST posted this intro today, and how I didnÂ’t want to have to come back ashamed this evening! Awesome accountability, right from the start with this group!!! Thanks to you all, and to whomever started this site.
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Thanks, guys. Got through my first coaching game without it. Well, without the post-game dip to relax me. I had a giant wad of gum all during the game, and it seemsd to help... I was sick of having something in my mouth by the tone the game ended. Also, was in my car, rummaging g through my center console, and found 2 unused pouches....and threw them right out the window. CanÂ’t say I didnÂ’t think about it... but... I thought about how I JUST posted this intro today, and how I didnÂ’t want to have to come back ashamed this evening! Awesome accountability, right from the start with this group!!! Thanks to you all, and to whomever started this site.
Wow Coach... That's an awesome victory you had on Day 1! Treasure these small victories, they add up to a lot over a period of time! Fake chews and gums help, keep em handy. Spend as much time as possible during the initial phase surfing and posting on KTC, it helps! Chug a lot of water and keep yourself physically occupied! When symptoms become bothersome, belly breathing helps! I promise, this will get better. Weekends are bad, so stay extra vigilant...
Proud to quit with you today!!!
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Temptation is high today. IÂ’m 2 days away from the second anniversary of my motherÂ’s death. It was sudden, unexpected (cardiac),and happened on a Sunday. So in a way this is more like the anniversary than the actual date. IÂ’m alone, running errands, and have cried a lot already today. IÂ’ll get through it, but am really really craving it right now. ?
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Temptation is high today. IÂ’m 2 days away from the second anniversary of my motherÂ’s death. It was sudden, unexpected (cardiac),and happened on a Sunday. So in a way this is more like the anniversary than the actual date. IÂ’m alone, running errands, and have cried a lot already today. IÂ’ll get through it, but am really really craving it right now. ?
Coach- stay busy today. Stay close to the site, hop in chat. Feel your feelings. You posted roll this morning, so you don't have to worry about dip.
You are a quitter.
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Prayers for mom... Stay strong! Dip will not make anything easier, it just adds to the number of problems you already have! Proud to quit with you today!!!
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Temptation is high today. IÂ’m 2 days away from the second anniversary of my motherÂ’s death. It was sudden, unexpected (cardiac),and happened on a Sunday. So in a way this is more like the anniversary than the actual date. IÂ’m alone, running errands, and have cried a lot already today. IÂ’ll get through it, but am really really craving it right now. ?
Coach- stay busy today. Stay close to the site, hop in chat. Feel your feelings. You posted roll this morning, so you don't have to worry about dip.
You are a quitter.
You have my number Coach. I lost my Mother-in-Law and Dad within a month of each other 4 years ago. I know the grief part and am here if needed.
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Temptation is high today. IÂ’m 2 days away from the second anniversary of my motherÂ’s death. It was sudden, unexpected (cardiac),and happened on a Sunday. So in a way this is more like the anniversary than the actual date. IÂ’m alone, running errands, and have cried a lot already today. IÂ’ll get through it, but am really really craving it right now. ?
You're doing fine. Nice job posting roll every day. Stick with it.
ZillahCowboy 1721
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Temptation is high today. IÂ’m 2 days away from the second anniversary of my motherÂ’s death. It was sudden, unexpected (cardiac),and happened on a Sunday. So in a way this is more like the anniversary than the actual date. IÂ’m alone, running errands, and have cried a lot already today. IÂ’ll get through it, but am really really craving it right now. ?
CoachK - great job on the quit. You are on the right site with a great group of quitters to support you through the good and bad days. I know from experience, I have called, texted and just ranted a few times in the last 66 days. That is what make this site special and holds me accountable. Plus some of these bad ass quitters will find me and beat my ass if i cave.
PM if you want someone else to text or help you through this.
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Coach,
Early on, pre-HoF, you faltered and I was all over you about how you weren't going to make it.
I've had to eat those words many times.
So very pleased to do it.
Congratulations on 1000 days of freedom.
Quitting with you today.