There is so much I'd like to say in this HOF speech I am not sure how to put it all.
The day I finally made the decision to quit for good, by the grace of God I found the KTC website and started reading posts, I read and read and read. The first few days I was on here every day all day.
I am thankful to be quit today. I plan to remain quit every day. I choose to not use tobacco today and in the days that follow.
I am now in control of my actions and my attitude. I choose to be dip free and happy.
I would be lying if I said I don't miss my 20 + year constant companion Skoal. I don't miss is the shame and embarrasment it caused me. Being a female compounded the shame and embarrasment. The addict part of me won out till I finally quit, it said FU if you don't like me chewing, it is none of your business.
I did not realize that all the years I was dipping I was stuffing my emotions. Now I am having to learn how to deal with these feelings without dip. It is not easy but I know that my chewing did not make any situation any better or worse.
I also know that I can never have just one chew. NEVER...EVER...and that is ok.
I may at times wish I could, but I can't , so i won't.
I could never have made it through those first few weeks without this place and the support I recieved from those who came before me. Like Chewie ( I don't think this place could function with you buddy) and my good friend Sioux, thanks so much.
I want to thank my quit group ...all of you especially I want to say thanks to KTB, EmL, Franchised, and Redsox. I love you guys thanks for being there for me every damn day!
Also would like to thank the newbies for helping me remember from whence I came...embrace the suck.
If anyone ever needs my help don't hesitate to ask. Me helping you helps me stay quit too.
I know this fight is not over. I'm prepared to keep winning it .
Special thanks to my husband Kirby, for loving me just as I am for all the time I've known you and for not holding it against me for not quitting when I promised I would quit and didn't and for being so proud of me now that I am quit.
thanks to all of you...
the suck sucks but it is worth it in the long run...
JJ
