Community > Introductions
Oldschool introduction
oldschool:
942 days.
My last post just shy of 100 days ago, I had a impactful dip dream the night before. I tried to describe just how surreal yet comfortably normal the experience was for me, yet I didn't understand the full significance until much later. I focused more on the result rather than the symptom: The frightening act of succumbing to my addiction was so grotesque that my scope was small and narrow. Do whatever you must do to not cave on day 942.
It was much later that I finally discovered the connection between that dip dream and the (then) status of my quit. I wrote that I was at a crossroads. My quit was becoming comfortable, and quite frankly, I was becoming bored. I think that my dip dream was not on accident. My subconscious was alerting me to the very real possibility that at any point I could be weak enough and cave in to my addiction. Complacency kills many things; momentum, success and even hope. That was my real enemy. The dip dream was a potential foreshadowing of what could become if I continued on the path of complacent quitting.
Wake
Up
Piss and
Post
This is the cornerstone for remaining quit and free. Promise not to use for that day. Keep your word. Do it again the next day.
But, daily posting might not be enough to ward off the silent quit killer: Complacency.
I urge everyone to protect their quit from complacency. Log on to the site mid-day and check to see if your brothers and sisters have posted their promise. Hold them accountable if they start to drift, post late, or worse start missing days. Post support for new quitters and groups. Let them know that they can get to HOF and beyond. Pay it forward. You are quit because the KTC process works, and it only works if quitters stay involved and hold each other accountable to our daily promise to remain nicotine free.
I urge everyone reading this that if you are still killing yourself by using nicotine, Quit. The decision is not hard. Just throw that can away. Quitting is not hard: Make your promise not to use for the day. Keep your promise. Withdrawals are challenging to all, but there is a community of quitters at KTC who have gone through it and can help you get through it.
oldschool
quit and free
ankape:
--- Quote from: mcsnapper1 on January 31, 2021, 12:09:03 PM ---
--- Quote from: oldschool on January 30, 2021, 10:09:17 AM ---846 days of Freedom!
I had a dip dream this morning; well, actually, a dream of me dreaming I had a dip dream, until...
The dream started out with me putting a dip in. I could taste it. My mouth was watering. I spit. Then, the realization that I caved. The remorse. The guilt. The shame.
But then I had this feeling it was just a dream. That I woke up and I was in my parents house in their bathroom. I remember the thought that I could still post my number. That putting the dip in was just a dream. I was ok. Until I spit juice into the sink of the bathroom. I looked into the mirror. I opened up my mouth. I saw what had to be an entire can of dip in my mouth. Tobacco everywhere. Saliva, drool, and tobacco juice everywhere. I tried to spit the tobacco out, but I couldn't. I dug my finger into that glob and tried to get it out, but I couldn't. I had just caved on day 942.
What is the significance of day 942? What will be so special, terrible, or remarkable about day 942 that i cave? I thought about how good my gums and cheeks feel as I ran my tongue across them. What made me decide to put a dip in and give that up? How am I going to tell my quit friends that I caved? Then I woke up. Went to the bathroom. Looked into the mirror. Opened up my mouth, and made sure there was no dip in there. Fuck!
We all find ourselves at a crossroad. Some of us visit that crossroad regularly. We make a decision at that crossroad, and move on. I have been thinking about moving on. Change. Growth. KTC used to be the website I spent the most time on: it was number one suggestion when I opened up a new browser tab. Now, even Pornhub has taken over KTC's place in my web surfing. Google, Youtube. Ebay. And, yes, even Pornhub, all have more page views than KTC. My anxiety is better. The oral fixation is not as bad. I don't have any triggers when I pass a c-store. Why post everyday?
Well, at the crossroad today, I made a decision. I will post at least until day 942. And now, I move on.
oldschool.
--- End quote ---
Congrats on 847 days quit. That's huge!
Dip dreams are the worst, and yours sounded so vivid. No fun. I have definitely woken from a dip dream and ran into the bathroom to look in the mirror. Keep on quttin' like the bad M'Fer you are.
mcsnapper1- 5 years quit- I promise no nicotine today.
--- End quote ---
Read this several times now, dang...I can almost feel your panic… I totally get what you’re saying...and I too have felt that immense relief that I could still post my number as well.
mcsnapper1:
--- Quote from: oldschool on January 30, 2021, 10:09:17 AM ---846 days of Freedom!
I had a dip dream this morning; well, actually, a dream of me dreaming I had a dip dream, until...
The dream started out with me putting a dip in. I could taste it. My mouth was watering. I spit. Then, the realization that I caved. The remorse. The guilt. The shame.
But then I had this feeling it was just a dream. That I woke up and I was in my parents house in their bathroom. I remember the thought that I could still post my number. That putting the dip in was just a dream. I was ok. Until I spit juice into the sink of the bathroom. I looked into the mirror. I opened up my mouth. I saw what had to be an entire can of dip in my mouth. Tobacco everywhere. Saliva, drool, and tobacco juice everywhere. I tried to spit the tobacco out, but I couldn't. I dug my finger into that glob and tried to get it out, but I couldn't. I had just caved on day 942.
What is the significance of day 942? What will be so special, terrible, or remarkable about day 942 that i cave? I thought about how good my gums and cheeks feel as I ran my tongue across them. What made me decide to put a dip in and give that up? How am I going to tell my quit friends that I caved? Then I woke up. Went to the bathroom. Looked into the mirror. Opened up my mouth, and made sure there was no dip in there. Fuck!
We all find ourselves at a crossroad. Some of us visit that crossroad regularly. We make a decision at that crossroad, and move on. I have been thinking about moving on. Change. Growth. KTC used to be the website I spent the most time on: it was number one suggestion when I opened up a new browser tab. Now, even Pornhub has taken over KTC's place in my web surfing. Google, Youtube. Ebay. And, yes, even Pornhub, all have more page views than KTC. My anxiety is better. The oral fixation is not as bad. I don't have any triggers when I pass a c-store. Why post everyday?
Well, at the crossroad today, I made a decision. I will post at least until day 942. And now, I move on.
oldschool.
--- End quote ---
Congrats on 847 days quit. That's huge!
Dip dreams are the worst, and yours sounded so vivid. No fun. I have definitely woken from a dip dream and ran into the bathroom to look in the mirror. Keep on quttin' like the bad M'Fer you are.
mcsnapper1- 5 years quit- I promise no nicotine today.
mcsnapper1:
*poof*
oldschool:
846 days of Freedom!
I had a dip dream this morning; well, actually, a dream of me dreaming I had a dip dream, until...
The dream started out with me putting a dip in. I could taste it. My mouth was watering. I spit. Then, the realization that I caved. The remorse. The guilt. The shame.
But then I had this feeling it was just a dream. That I woke up and I was in my parents house in their bathroom. I remember the thought that I could still post my number. That putting the dip in was just a dream. I was ok. Until I spit juice into the sink of the bathroom. I looked into the mirror. I opened up my mouth. I saw what had to be an entire can of dip in my mouth. Tobacco everywhere. Saliva, drool, and tobacco juice everywhere. I tried to spit the tobacco out, but I couldn't. I dug my finger into that glob and tried to get it out, but I couldn't. I had just caved on day 942.
What is the significance of day 942? What will be so special, terrible, or remarkable about day 942 that i cave? I thought about how good my gums and cheeks feel as I ran my tongue across them. What made me decide to put a dip in and give that up? How am I going to tell my quit friends that I caved? Then I woke up. Went to the bathroom. Looked into the mirror. Opened up my mouth, and made sure there was no dip in there. Fuck!
We all find ourselves at a crossroad. Some of us visit that crossroad regularly. We make a decision at that crossroad, and move on. I have been thinking about moving on. Change. Growth. KTC used to be the website I spent the most time on: it was number one suggestion when I opened up a new browser tab. Now, even Pornhub has taken over KTC's place in my web surfing. Google, Youtube. Ebay. And, yes, even Pornhub, all have more page views than KTC. My anxiety is better. The oral fixation is not as bad. I don't have any triggers when I pass a c-store. Why post everyday?
Well, at the crossroad today, I made a decision. I will post at least until day 942. And now, I move on.
oldschool.
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