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Oldschool introduction
BBQchips:
--- Quote from: oldschool on December 01, 2018, 01:58:39 PM ---Day 55 nicotine free!
It has been quite a week: Sunday we were hit with a Blizzard that dumped 14 inches of snow. Monday had to travel to Dallas. Tuesday attended a stressful company meeting. Wednesday played catch up. Thursday and Friday sandwiched 6 Plant communication meetings in between the day to day working over 14 hours each day. Then today, day 55, went to a co-workers funeral and said good bye.
The 40 minute drive to the funeral this morning was almost white knuckle. Rain coming down in buckets with driving 30+ mph wind. 2 weeks ago I would have been so stressed I would have felt like my head was getting squeezed off my shoulders and neck. Today I felt calm and handled the drive with ease. As I was driving I thought it must be the good night sleep I just had. Then I thought, when was the last time I had that good of a sleep?
Once in Church, I began to think of the struggles my friend went through prior to passing. He was in and out of a hospital 9 times since May. Fighting life threatening infections, his legs would swell up so bad. Yet, he never complained. He relied on his faith in God and his friendships. I started reflecting on how much pain and suffering my friend endured just to live one more day. I compared what he went through fighting for his life to what I have been going through the last 55 days. Quite frankly, I became embarrassed. At that moment, I realized as my friend was fighting for his life – his mortality – I was just fighting withdrawal symptoms, which as uncomfortable as they are, probably will not kill me. To say this thought strengthened my resolve is an understatement.
On the way home, I began to think about the 55 day journey and some of my recent revelations. As I watch new quit groups forming, I see this repeatable pattern. Oh, the first week or two of quit…new members are just trying to figure out how to post roll – just trying to fight to stay quit.. Just starting to figure out how are they going to get through this. Then I visit the previous month quit group, and I see the members start to establish a bond, fight over a team name, and start holding each other accountable. Then, I reflect on my quit group, the Crew, and notice we are now more confidently posting our numbers. Most of us around halfway to HoF. We are starting to get to know each other. We are starting to try to pay it forward. Yesterday, I observed a quit group pass into HoF. This quit group has a member who reached out to me early in my quit, and we text our promise each day.
So sitting here today on day 55, I realize oh, how much better today is than day 5 – the day I joined KTC. Today brings resolve that I will continue to fight the battle of addiction. Today brings the realization that I still have a long way to go, but I think the path will keep getting better. My main reason for writing this today is I hope that just one thought or sentence will resonate with someone who is quitting when they need help or support. I hope some of the members of newer quit groups read this and realize it will get better. Just stay quit one day at a time. Integrity is a powerful value – make a promise each and every day to stay quit for that day.
--- End quote ---
I'm glad you decided to share this story. It certainly helped my quit and will for others. It is always helpful to hear stories like the one about your friend to help keep things in focus and perspective. Proud to QWYT.
oldschool:
Day 55 nicotine free!
It has been quite a week: Sunday we were hit with a Blizzard that dumped 14 inches of snow. Monday had to travel to Dallas. Tuesday attended a stressful company meeting. Wednesday played catch up. Thursday and Friday sandwiched 6 Plant communication meetings in between the day to day working over 14 hours each day. Then today, day 55, went to a co-workers funeral and said good bye.
The 40 minute drive to the funeral this morning was almost white knuckle. Rain coming down in buckets with driving 30+ mph wind. 2 weeks ago I would have been so stressed I would have felt like my head was getting squeezed off my shoulders and neck. Today I felt calm and handled the drive with ease. As I was driving I thought it must be the good night sleep I just had. Then I thought, when was the last time I had that good of a sleep?
Once in Church, I began to think of the struggles my friend went through prior to passing. He was in and out of a hospital 9 times since May. Fighting life threatening infections, his legs would swell up so bad. Yet, he never complained. He relied on his faith in God and his friendships. I started reflecting on how much pain and suffering my friend endured just to live one more day. I compared what he went through fighting for his life to what I have been going through the last 55 days. Quite frankly, I became embarrassed. At that moment, I realized as my friend was fighting for his life – his mortality – I was just fighting withdrawal symptoms, which as uncomfortable as they are, probably will not kill me. To say this thought strengthened my resolve is an understatement.
On the way home, I began to think about the 55 day journey and some of my recent revelations. As I watch new quit groups forming, I see this repeatable pattern. Oh, the first week or two of quit…new members are just trying to figure out how to post roll – just trying to fight to stay quit.. Just starting to figure out how are they going to get through this. Then I visit the previous month quit group, and I see the members start to establish a bond, fight over a team name, and start holding each other accountable. Then, I reflect on my quit group, the Crew, and notice we are now more confidently posting our numbers. Most of us around halfway to HoF. We are starting to get to know each other. We are starting to try to pay it forward. Yesterday, I observed a quit group pass into HoF. This quit group has a member who reached out to me early in my quit, and we text our promise each day.
So sitting here today on day 55, I realize oh, how much better today is than day 5 – the day I joined KTC. Today brings resolve that I will continue to fight the battle of addiction. Today brings the realization that I still have a long way to go, but I think the path will keep getting better. My main reason for writing this today is I hope that just one thought or sentence will resonate with someone who is quitting when they need help or support. I hope some of the members of newer quit groups read this and realize it will get better. Just stay quit one day at a time. Integrity is a powerful value – make a promise each and every day to stay quit for that day.
Aumegrad:
Rich, I know I have already texted you the awesomeness of this post, but I must reiterate the positive impact it had on my quit. In addition, I must state how it epitomizes our quits and the effectiveness of this site’s tools in our quit. You have gone all-in and it shows.
You are doing a remarkable job and I am proud to be in the trenches with you!
Athan:
--- Quote from: oldschool on November 11, 2018, 11:38:45 AM ---... I went to a Cubs game one Saturday afternoon about a month after switching to nicotine gum. Somehow I lost the four pieces of gum I brought for the day. It was horrible. I was supposed to be enjoying a day with my wife and friends, and instead all I could think about was not having nicotine. That was the day I decided to quit. I would no longer have this addiction controlling my life...
--- End quote ---
I feel you Rich. It was the addict behavior more than anything else for me; nicotine was in control, not me. Keep blogging it out. Your helping yourself and others. PTBQWYT
oldschool:
Today is day 35 nicotine free!
30 days since my first post on KTC - wow I was a noob just one month ago! What have I learned since my first post 30 days ago? This is my Quit. I am the only one that can choose to be nicotine free or cave. I have to make this choice every day. I have to make this choice multiple time a day. I have to be patient as my brain is rewiring itself. I have to be cognizant that this rewiring process does not interfere with my life and my relationships. The worst is behind me, but this will not be easy for me as dip and nicotine was just so embedded in my daily life. It will get better - maybe not today or tomorrow but it will get better.
What else have I learned in the last 30 days? There are people who are going through the same thing as me. Some of us have anxiety, or fog, or can't sleep, or have short tempers, or can't poop, or any combination of withdrawal symptoms, Just like me, there are people who decide that each day is going to be another day nicotine free - even if it is unbearably hard and painful - this day we promise to be nicotine free. I have learned that it is ok to reach out for help. I have learned that there are people who will help - even though they have never met you - they help because someone has helped them. I have learned that there is strength in numbers. i have learned that a single promise to someone you don't really know is as strong as a promise to a loved one. I have learned that it is my responsibility to pay it forward.
My name is Rich. I am 50 years old, and have had some form of nicotine in my life since i was 16. I started smoking in high school, and continued until I was 28. First time I tried dip was when I was in Grad school: late nights studying. other Grad students dipped, but smoking was still my main source of nicotine. I quit smoking when I got married, and TBH it was not that hard for me. I had about 2 weeks of withdrawal, and then it was like normal life. 8 years went by and all of it nicotine free until one day on a golf course. Just moved to a new town for a new job, and I went golfing with guys from work. All of them dipped, and I asked for a pinch. Next thing you know it I was buying cans. I did not want my wife to find out so I became a ninja dipper. I was traveling for my job a lot so hiding in the beginning was fairly easy. And there you have it, I was hooked again.
Funny thing about this type of addiction is it is so important to get your fix of nicotine that you will do anything to have it. Even if that means lying to the people you love, altering your life just to get a dip in, and hiding the fact that you dip because you are embarrassed that you do it. Crazy. Doing something you know is bad for you, embarrassing habit, but you still look forward to doing it multiple times a day.
Well, i had finally had enough. I no longer enjoyed dipping. I just dipped for the nicotine. I just dipped for the habit. I hated the fact that I was constantly worried about how my cheeks and gums felt. I hated how I worried about if i was getting low on dip. I hated how I had to sneak dip at work - especially during meetings, etc. I wanted to be free. For me quitting dip was fairly easy: I just stopped buying it. I bought nicotine gum instead, but I was kidding myself. I went to a Cubs game one Saturday afternoon about a month after switching to nicotine gum. Somehow I lost the four pieces of gum I brought for the day. It was horrible. I was supposed to be enjoying a day with my wife and friends, and instead all I could think about was not having nicotine. That was the day I decided to quit. I would no longer have this addiction controlling my life.
So, it was day 5, and I was still feeling quite horrible. Quitting the second time around was much more difficult. I needed answers. I needed help. I googled dip withdrawal symptoms, and the search led me to KTC. I starting reading. I learned that this was not going to be easy. I learned it will get better. Those 2 facts along with accountability and the support of new friends have gotten me to Day 35.
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