Kybo

[worktowin]

Random thoughts from Day 160

It is freaking hot outside and I really need to mow grass when I get home today. There are so many things in my life that have improved drastically since I gave up tobacco, but mowing grass isn't one of them. Before I quit, I used to almost look forward to mowing grass because that was a guaranteed 2+ hours that I could be outside "enjoying" a big chew. Now that I have given up tobacco I have come to the realization that I really don't enjoy the heat and dust that is almost always involved with mowing the grass. I was using the fake stuff this Spring when I mowed, but I have since given the fake stuff up too. My mouth feels so much better now and I just don't see the point of the using SM/Bacc-off if I don't need it. And I definitely don't need it anymore. Maybe I just need to buy a bigger and faster mower.

Speaking of being "hot," I think I am going to have to start going shopping at lunch on Fridays more often. The MILF scenery was incredible today at the two stores that I visited on my lunch. 'boob' 'Popcorn'

In about 3 more weeks I will officially be able to say that this is the second longest I have gone without tobacco since I was about 13 years old. I once made it well beyond two years and apparently thought I was "cured" of my addiction because I thought I could have just one without any repercussions. I didn't come to my senses again until about 4,000 cans later on January 7th, 2018. The second longest I have ever made it was just short of 6 months. So, in three more weeks I will be passed 6 months. 'oh yeah'

I have been thinking about whether I should write a HOF speech. Today is Day 160 for me and I still don't really feel like I have accomplished anything worthy of any kind of Hall of Fame. But, the success of my recent Canadian fishing trip has at least got me thinking about it. To me, that trip was the biggest test I have faced so far. And I came home from that trip totally convinced that I could continue to win every day for the rest of my life. Hell, I didn't even entertain the thought of having a chew on that trip. In fact, I was almost repulsed by the fact that I was thinking about how much I didn't want a chew. So, maybe I should write that speech. But, there is another part of me that says it wouldn't be right for me to write a HOF speech until I have at least surpassed the two year mark..

Note to self... go shopping at noon...

Nice intro update dude! Keep winning. It is balls burning hot here too, and tonight I have to mow my grass. Oh well.

Congratulations on 160 days of win...

[kybo]

Random thoughts from Day 160

It is freaking hot outside and I really need to mow grass when I get home today. There are so many things in my life that have improved drastically since I gave up tobacco, but mowing grass isn't one of them. Before I quit, I used to almost look forward to mowing grass because that was a guaranteed 2+ hours that I could be outside "enjoying" a big chew. Now that I have given up tobacco I have come to the realization that I really don't enjoy the heat and dust that is almost always involved with mowing the grass. I was using the fake stuff this Spring when I mowed, but I have since given the fake stuff up too. My mouth feels so much better now and I just don't see the point of the using SM/Bacc-off if I don't need it. And I definitely don't need it anymore. Maybe I just need to buy a bigger and faster mower.

Speaking of being "hot," I think I am going to have to start going shopping at lunch on Fridays more often. The MILF scenery was incredible today at the two stores that I visited on my lunch. 'boob' 'Popcorn'

In about 3 more weeks I will officially be able to say that this is the second longest I have gone without tobacco since I was about 13 years old. I once made it well beyond two years and apparently thought I was "cured" of my addiction because I thought I could have just one without any repercussions. I didn't come to my senses again until about 4,000 cans later on January 7th, 2018. The second longest I have ever made it was just short of 6 months. So, in three more weeks I will be passed 6 months. 'oh yeah'

I have been thinking about whether I should write a HOF speech. Today is Day 160 for me and I still don't really feel like I have accomplished anything worthy of any kind of Hall of Fame. But, the success of my recent Canadian fishing trip has at least got me thinking about it. To me, that trip was the biggest test I have faced so far. And I came home from that trip totally convinced that I could continue to win every day for the rest of my life. Hell, I didn't even entertain the thought of having a chew on that trip. In fact, I was almost repulsed by the fact that I was thinking about how much I didn't want a chew. So, maybe I should write that speech. But, there is another part of me that says it wouldn't be right for me to write a HOF speech until I have at least surpassed the two year mark..

[kybo]

Day 156

I just returned from my annual fishing trip into the Canadian bush. I am not going to lie, the trip turned out to be a lot easier than I thought it would be. I just wasn't sure how my addict brain would handle being surrounded by guys that were chewing every day. That is a trigger that I have managed to avoid for the last five months. As confident as I am in my quit, I still had a little concern that once I was surrounded by chewing tobacco that I might be tempted to have "just one." But, I am proud to say that my experience was quite the opposite. I actually found myself having pity on the guys for still being addicted to the weed. And it turns out that watching other addicts feed their addiction every day seemed to somehow further strengthen my resolve.

On our way to Canada we stopped for the night in a small town in Minnesota. The hotel we stayed in had a small bar. Obviously, we decided to have a few beers in the bar before we hit the sack. The woman that was working the hotel desk was pulling double duty as the bartender. She was probably in her late twenties, quite cute, and was obviously about eight months pregnant. And she was chewing tobacco. That is right. Eight months pregnant and chewing tobacco. Addiction is a powerful thing that is not to be underestimated.

I took 6 cans of the fake stuff with me and never touched it. Didn't chew any gum or seeds or anything else. I found that I didn't need any of it. And you know what? I still had a great time in spite of the horrible fishing weather. I can now check the big one off my list. I have proven that I can enjoy a secluded fishing trip without any form of nicotine.

I will save the rest of my thoughts for another day.

[numb]

Kings and queens of quit!!

[numb]

Nice kybo!! KongÂ’s and queens of quit baby!

[Athan]

Nice on the new truck Kybo. One that has never nor will ever have tobacco in it! Celebrating vicariously through you...

[kybo]

Day 137

I just posted in Big Savings Wednesday and realized that quitting has now saved me over $500. And I actually think the price of Grizzly has jumped up again since I quit, which means I have actually saved more than that.

I leave for the Great White North one week from today! I got the boat out yesterday for the first time this year. She fired right up and ran like a champ.

I bought a new truck yesterday. I went in to the dealer last Thursday to get an oil change and the Sales Manager came up to me in the waiting room and made me a pretty nice offer for my truck. Over the next few days I haggled him down a few more thousand on a new truck. The end result is I got a brand new truck and lowered my monthly payments by $160. Yeah, I only had 2 more years to pay on my old truck, but I would have eventually bought a new one anyway. Plus, I got rid of one of the few remaining triggers that I still had.

[kybo]

Day 132

I don't know why I am posting this other than to tell any newbies out there to not lose hope. You can beat this. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and face the battles one day at a time. Anybody can quit for a day. Eventually those days will start stacking up and you will look around and realize that it really does get easier. Everybody is a little different. For me, I noticed definite changes for the better around Day 4, Day 25, Day 68, and Day 100.

Quitting can be depressing. It is not your imagination. Tobacco has chemically altered your brain to make you more dependent . If that doesn't piss you off I don't know what will. I am living proof that you can beat this addiction if you put your mind to it. I chewed tobacco for 35 years and here I am today at 132 days quit and I feel like a million bucks. And it just keeps getting easier. My emotions have returned to normal. I can actually watch a sad movie again without my eyes watering like a prepubescent little girl who just lost her puppy. And I haven't yelled obscenities out the truck window at anybody for a couple of months now. So things are definitely trending upward.

For me, after the first three weeks this whole quit thing has been almost 100% mental. It hasn't really been much of a battle to be honest. I think I have found it to be easier than my past attempts because I truly wanted to quit this time. I believe that is the secret to being successful. You either want to quit , or you don't. If you don't really want to quit you are just going through the motions looking for an excuse to fail. If you truly want to quit you will throat punch that bitch every time she tries to show her face, no matter the circumstances. And I can tell you that I have beat that bitch with a tire iron so many times that she rarely even peaks over the wall when I go outside now.

I have now moved on from the WWI trench style day to day battles that I had with Nicotine to more of a guerilla style conflict with Complacency. Nicotine is still there every day peaking over the trench wall looking for an opportunity for an all out assault. But she has learned the hard way that I am not going to go down without a hell of a fight. So, Nicotine and I have reached a sort of armistice. A kind of mutual respect, if you will. The war isn't over by any means, but we both now understand that neither side is going to give any ground. But now Complacency has also entered the field of battle. Her tactics are quite different from Nicotine. Complacency hovers off in the distance just out of sight. Lurking in the treeline waiting for the opportunity to strike. There is something out there waiting for us, and it ain't no man.

Keep your powder dry and your head on a swivel! IQWYT!

[Doofus]

I agree, I have not felt this good in decades....all of the above you mention, exercise, better food and sleep, weight loss...30 lbs so far, had to get a new belt, pants altered....whole nine yards....most notable aside from being less fat is sleep.....I sleep like a baby, not like a vampire

[kybo]

Day 128

Just a few observations.

Man, do I feel good. I have so much more energy than I did six months ago. I can't help wondering if it is just the lack of nicotine/tobacco in my body that is making feel this awesome or if it is the result of all the lifestyle changes combined. I am definitely sleeping better than I have in years. I am eating a whole lot better and I am exercising like a mad man.

I still haven't weighed myself, but I am heading to the store today at lunch to purchase a new belt. I guess my old belt may have finally just stretched out, but the belt I have been wearing for the last year is no longer doing an adequate job of holding up my pants. And I must also say that it is definitely getting easier to button the ballroom jeans every morning.

I have never really been much of a sleeper. Six hours is about all I can hope to achieve on most nights. But, since I quit chewing and started exercising regularly I am now finding that I go to sleep a little earlier in the evening. As a result, I am now routinely getting about seven hours of solid sleep a night. The noticeable downside to this is I am not reading near as often before bed as I used to do. In the past, I used to churn out a couple books a week mostly by reading after everyone else went to bed. That gave me the opportunity to have a big fat chew and read at the same time. Now that I have chosen to live my life without tobacco, I find that reading books just isn't as entertaining for me. I can't say that it bothers me, though.

I will be leaving for my annual trip to the Great White North in 16 days. The thought of trying to make that trip nicotine free scared the shit out of me three months ago. Today, I am not even worried about it. I think I might still have been worried if I didn't feel so fucking incredible. I mean there is just no arguing how much better I feel now. That is all the proof that I need to tell me that I made the right decision.

[Doofus]

Proud with you today....no more negotiating with the bitch.....it feels good....was just reading some earlier posts

[kybo]

Day 93

Monday.....

Is it a blessing or a curse that I still find myself thinking about chew every day? I definitely can't say that I am having cravings, but somehow chew finds it's way into my thoughts several times a day. I find it to be extremely annoying, but I also think it helps strengthen my resolve a little bit. I feel like my inability to control my addiction is really what drove me to go cold turkey in the first place. So, as long as my brain keeps thinking about chew every day it is constantly reminding me that I can't have just one without totally losing control again. It really is an interesting dichotomy. I don't want to think about chew, but I am afraid that I will get complacent if I don't think about chew.

Day 118

I have noticed over the last week, or so, that the only time I really think about chew is when I suddenly realize that I haven't been thinking about chew. I have started noticing that I have been doing the things I used to do with a chew without even thinking about the fact that I used to do them with a chew. I am not sure if that makes sense. I am not sure what to make of this revelation. But, I do think it is worth noting here in my journal. The thoughts are definitely getting fewer and farther in between for me.

I kind of feel like maybe I am not thinking about chew so much because my salivary glands seem to have finally returned to normal. My mouth isn't watering all day or turning into a fountain every time I experience a past trigger. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying I am cured or any other bullshit like that. I just think maybe I have crossed another invisible bridge on the never ending road to recovery. That whole salivary gland issue has definitely been the toughest hurdle for me to clear. And I am happy to say that somewhere around 100 days is when I stopped fixating on my salivary glands every minute of every day. Maybe this has to do with the fact that I finally gave up the fake stuff, or maybe it has to do with my nicotinic acetylcholine receptors finally returning to normal. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that I finally stopped touching my salivary glands every twenty minutes to see if they felt different. Who knows?

It all just might have to do with the fact that I have been extremely busy lately. Things are definitely picking up at work and my younger daughter's Spring soccer season is in full swing. And now that it is finally warming up I also have to find the time to to mow several acres a week and take care of the pond and landscaping. Oh, and now my oldest daughter is home from college which means I have to start working out 3 times a week with her to help her build her strength back up after her ACL surgery.

Maybe I just haven't had the time to think about chew (or anything else for that matter).

[kybo]

Day 100

Thanks for the well wishes and congratulations. But, it honestly is just another day to me.

I like the fact that somebody had the bright idea to put the HOF at 100 days because it has an attainable feel to it. But, once you get here you just kind of look around and realize that today isn't any different than yesterday. And it is probably going to feel exactly the same tomorrow. But, I do feel better about tomorrow than I did 99 days ago. And, I feel better now about the possibility of making it a year than I did 3 months ago. So, maybe there is some magic, or maybe even some logic, to that 100 Day Hall of Fame number.

I think I am going to hold off on celebrating for now. It doesn't really feel like I have accomplished anything yet. But, I did do one thing for myself today. I felt like I earned it after 100 days. What did I do you ask?

I finally implemented the "ignore user" function.

Congratulations, sir. You have a pretty epic quit going on.

One day at a time, there are some great things ahead.

Keep winning.

Thank you, sir.

Oh and more thing I forgot to mention in my earlier post. In classic April '18 fashion, I actually got bumped off roll today on my 100th day. That, my friends, put the biggest smile on my face that I have had all day! roflmao

[worktowin]

Day 100

Thanks for the well wishes and congratulations. But, it honestly is just another day to me.

I like the fact that somebody had the bright idea to put the HOF at 100 days because it has an attainable feel to it. But, once you get here you just kind of look around and realize that today isn't any different than yesterday. And it is probably going to feel exactly the same tomorrow. But, I do feel better about tomorrow than I did 99 days ago. And, I feel better now about the possibility of making it a year than I did 3 months ago. So, maybe there is some magic, or maybe even some logic, to that 100 Day Hall of Fame number.

I think I am going to hold off on celebrating for now. It doesn't really feel like I have accomplished anything yet. But, I did do one thing for myself today. I felt like I earned it after 100 days. What did I do you ask?

I finally implemented the "ignore user" function.

Congratulations, sir. You have a pretty epic quit going on.

One day at a time, there are some great things ahead.

Keep winning.

[kybo]

Day 100

Thanks for the well wishes and congratulations. But, it honestly is just another day to me.

I like the fact that somebody had the bright idea to put the HOF at 100 days because it has an attainable feel to it. But, once you get here you just kind of look around and realize that today isn't any different than yesterday. And it is probably going to feel exactly the same tomorrow. But, I do feel better about tomorrow than I did 99 days ago. And, I feel better now about the possibility of making it a year than I did 3 months ago. So, maybe there is some magic, or maybe even some logic, to that 100 Day Hall of Fame number.

I think I am going to hold off on celebrating for now. It doesn't really feel like I have accomplished anything yet. But, I did do one thing for myself today. I felt like I earned it after 100 days. What did I do you ask?

I finally implemented the "ignore user" function.