Here I am.....
Three days into probably my 20th "quitting" attempt.....this time, it has to be done...
Ever since 1999.....15 years......Jesus....The bear in the green can has had me by the balls with a vice like grip....unrelenting...
I'm in pain....I can't remember a place that I didn't have a dip in....from the minute I finished my coffee in the morning, until that last late nightcap...
Hell, I can't even remember when all this crap started.....we used to call it "busting a fatty" back in college. Unfortunately, I developed a reputation in the friends circles as being married to my sweet Kodiak. Not really the reputation you want for yourself, as most people realize what a terrible habit it is.....
I've been through about everything probably everyone else has....mouth sores, cavities, crowns, sore throats, etc....going through some jaw soreness right now.....I visit the doctor next week. Praying that it's TMJ or something associated with constant oral movement/spitting. hopefully my mouth is just getting used to being "normal" again....
Needless to say, I'm frightened, but have all the confidence that these are withdrawal symptoms and not lingering effects of long term dipping. My jaw and muscles are more used to having a dip in rather than eating and talking...
I could go on and on, but there's no use dwelling on the situation now...I've had my opportunities to quit and now I'll face the consequences....guilt sometimes overwhelms me, but my wife is very supportive, despite riding my ass for years about quitting....
I have two daughters, 17months and 5 years, and I'd like to be around for them....
Glad I found a place to vent....hopefully someone understands......