Author Topic: Hello. My name is....  (Read 2467 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline MikeK

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 3,444
  • Quit Date: 7/5/16
  • Interests: Farming , Hunting , Fishing
  • Likes Given: 21
Re: This Dipping Dream
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2019, 09:19:59 PM »
I had another dip dream last night. In my dream I went to the store to get more Smokey mountain and they were out. I bought a can of my favorite dip instead. Drove back to my house and opened the can. The smell of the fresh tobacco of a brand new can and the color of the moist dip were so vivid. I remember clearly the texture of the dip in my fingers as I put a pinch in my lip. As I sat there soaking in the rich, vibrant flavors, a buzz slowly came over me. Something I haven’t experienced in 20 years. I sat there in my dream in what I can only describe as pure bliss. That is until the buzz started to wear off. I realized what I had done. I immediately threw the pinch out of my lip but it was too late. The guilt started to sweep over me. My jaw ached. My stomach was in knots. And then my phone started to blow up. I looked at it and it was everyone I know on this site sending text after text, call after call. Most of the words I remember seeing were nothing I will repeat here.
And that is when I woke up. Or should I say shot out of bed. The taste of the dip on my tongue. The smell of it in the air. Hell, even the texture of it in-between my lip and gums. I new what I had done and what I needed to do. I pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen and started writing. I knew I better have some great answers to the three questions in I was to start back over with March. I made it through maybe halfway answering the first question before it finally started to dawn on me. I stopped writing and used all my small amount of brain power to finally convince myself it had only been a dream and I had not caved.
The knot in my stomach was still there. I was wide awake. No going back to sleep for me. I looked at the clock. 3:26 am. Going to be a long day…
It is now almost 11:00 am and the knot has shrunk but not fully gone away. The guilt along with the smell and taste still linger. The Nic Bitch is a tricky one. I had a great quit day yesterday and now I feel as though I am back to day one today. I feel foggy and disorganized. But I will continue on. Press on.

Those dreams do suck. But it is a dream. Keep doing what you are doing and you will stay clean. Reach out if you need.
Consider yourself lucky , you have experienced caving in  your dreams it felt good (In  your dreams). Then reality kicked in and you realized how terrible it would feel to fail. Calling it a dip dream instead of a cave dream is like putting chocolate on a dog turd and calling it a Baby Ruth. It might taste good till you brake through the surface. and once  you have broke through the surface your just left with crap in your mouth . The same is true with chew. Stay strong make your promise every day and keep it , I'm proud to be quit with you!!

Offline Keith0617

  • Moderator (Retired)
  • Master of Quit
  • *****
  • Posts: 80,654
  • Quit Date: October 5, 2018
  • Likes Given: 2316
Re: This Dipping Dream
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2019, 11:58:43 AM »
I had another dip dream last night. In my dream I went to the store to get more Smokey mountain and they were out. I bought a can of my favorite dip instead. Drove back to my house and opened the can. The smell of the fresh tobacco of a brand new can and the color of the moist dip were so vivid. I remember clearly the texture of the dip in my fingers as I put a pinch in my lip. As I sat there soaking in the rich, vibrant flavors, a buzz slowly came over me. Something I haven’t experienced in 20 years. I sat there in my dream in what I can only describe as pure bliss. That is until the buzz started to wear off. I realized what I had done. I immediately threw the pinch out of my lip but it was too late. The guilt started to sweep over me. My jaw ached. My stomach was in knots. And then my phone started to blow up. I looked at it and it was everyone I know on this site sending text after text, call after call. Most of the words I remember seeing were nothing I will repeat here.
And that is when I woke up. Or should I say shot out of bed. The taste of the dip on my tongue. The smell of it in the air. Hell, even the texture of it in-between my lip and gums. I new what I had done and what I needed to do. I pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen and started writing. I knew I better have some great answers to the three questions in I was to start back over with March. I made it through maybe halfway answering the first question before it finally started to dawn on me. I stopped writing and used all my small amount of brain power to finally convince myself it had only been a dream and I had not caved.
The knot in my stomach was still there. I was wide awake. No going back to sleep for me. I looked at the clock. 3:26 am. Going to be a long day…
It is now almost 11:00 am and the knot has shrunk but not fully gone away. The guilt along with the smell and taste still linger. The Nic Bitch is a tricky one. I had a great quit day yesterday and now I feel as though I am back to day one today. I feel foggy and disorganized. But I will continue on. Press on.

Those dreams do suck. But it is a dream. Keep doing what you are doing and you will stay clean. Reach out if you need.
Jan19

Offline JJG009

  • Hall of Fame Conductor
  • Quit Pro
  • ***
  • Posts: 5,550
  • Press On
    • My HOF Speech
  • Quit Date: 9-26-19
  • Interests: Hunting, Fishing and Quitting
  • Likes Given: 648
This Dipping Dream
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2019, 11:48:21 AM »
I had another dip dream last night. In my dream I went to the store to get more Smokey mountain and they were out. I bought a can of my favorite dip instead. Drove back to my house and opened the can. The smell of the fresh tobacco of a brand new can and the color of the moist dip were so vivid. I remember clearly the texture of the dip in my fingers as I put a pinch in my lip. As I sat there soaking in the rich, vibrant flavors, a buzz slowly came over me. Something I haven’t experienced in 20 years. I sat there in my dream in what I can only describe as pure bliss. That is until the buzz started to wear off. I realized what I had done. I immediately threw the pinch out of my lip but it was too late. The guilt started to sweep over me. My jaw ached. My stomach was in knots. And then my phone started to blow up. I looked at it and it was everyone I know on this site sending text after text, call after call. Most of the words I remember seeing were nothing I will repeat here.
And that is when I woke up. Or should I say shot out of bed. The taste of the dip on my tongue. The smell of it in the air. Hell, even the texture of it in-between my lip and gums. I new what I had done and what I needed to do. I pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen and started writing. I knew I better have some great answers to the three questions in I was to start back over with March. I made it through maybe halfway answering the first question before it finally started to dawn on me. I stopped writing and used all my small amount of brain power to finally convince myself it had only been a dream and I had not caved.
The knot in my stomach was still there. I was wide awake. No going back to sleep for me. I looked at the clock. 3:26 am. Going to be a long day…
It is now almost 11:00 am and the knot has shrunk but not fully gone away. The guilt along with the smell and taste still linger. The Nic Bitch is a tricky one. I had a great quit day yesterday and now I feel as though I am back to day one today. I feel foggy and disorganized. But I will continue on. Press on.
My HOF Speech
Quit Date: 9/26/2019 | HOF Date: 1/3/2020 | 2nd Floor: 4/12/2020 | 3rd Floor: 7/21/2020 | 4th Floor: 10/29/2020 | 5th Floor: 2/6/2021 | 6th Floor: 5/17/2021

Offline campbellmi13

  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 3,602
  • Quit Date: 10/08/2018
  • Likes Given: 148
Re: Hello. My name is....
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2019, 05:13:39 PM »
Hi John,

I am glad you have made the decision to quit and I am proud to quit with you. You already have the handle on two key elements to protect you from caving - WUPP (wake up, piss, post) early and exchanging your number with other quitters and texting your promise daily. The first couple of weeks are the toughest as your body goes through withdrawal from the poison that is nicotine. Don't be shy to post here or in your quit groups or text one of your brothers if you are struggling or have questions. Many have walked your path before and are happy to help you stay quit.

Proud to quit with you,

Michael

Offline JJG009

  • Hall of Fame Conductor
  • Quit Pro
  • ***
  • Posts: 5,550
  • Press On
    • My HOF Speech
  • Quit Date: 9-26-19
  • Interests: Hunting, Fishing and Quitting
  • Likes Given: 648
Hello. My name is....
« on: September 28, 2019, 04:49:58 PM »
Hello. my name is John. I am an addict. I have been addicted to tobacco, alcohol, drugs, sex and porn. I have faced and dealt with each one of those addictions barring one. Tobacco. I told myself over and over again that since I do not give into my other addictions anymore, having one vice was fine. Not anymore. I am now in day three of kicking Nic Bitches ass and although i'm currently in the suck, it feels pretty damn good. The support I have gotten in these first three days has been amazing. Thanks to all you brothers who have reached out. NNT. ODAAT.

JJG009 - 3

John 
My HOF Speech
Quit Date: 9/26/2019 | HOF Date: 1/3/2020 | 2nd Floor: 4/12/2020 | 3rd Floor: 7/21/2020 | 4th Floor: 10/29/2020 | 5th Floor: 2/6/2021 | 6th Floor: 5/17/2021