i've been dipping for about 13 years. it's been a 2 can a day habit for the last 10. i tried quitting for my wife last year, just after we got married. went to the doctor and got medicine and everything. that "quit" lasted until the medication ran out. then i went the way of the ninjas... emptying the trash started taking longer, i needed to go places by myself more often, people were leaving their spitters in my truck, pepper was getting stuck in my teeth all the time... you get the idea. i got caught eventually, but for some fucked up reason i blamed her. i told her i did it to save our marriage because i didn't want her to leave me because i'm an asshole when i don't chew. i basically broke her. she would comment occasionally, but i knew that she wasn't going to do anything about it. for some reason, around the 27th of july, i decided i was going to quit on friday, july 29th. i wasn't going to tell my wife, just in case i fucked up my quit again. i didn't want her to be disappointed... but then i realized that was just me giving myself an out before i even started. i could tell she didn't really believe me when i told her, but with a stubborn asshole like me, that only strengthened my resolve (she probably knew that and reverse psychologied the shit out of me and i didn't even know it). i found this site on august 1st, and it was perfect timing. the fog was taking hold, my resolve was weakening, my tongue was starting to hurt, and that night i slept like shit. had i not known why my tongue was hurting or that i probably wouldn't be sleeping much for the next couple of weeks, i probably would have caved that day. i'm only 10 days quit as of this post, but i slept like a fucking baby last night. my first thought this morning was that i really needed a piece of gum and it blew my mind. i actually started laughing. i gave up drinking to help my quit. i'm gonna give it 50 days and see how i feel. hell, i may even give it up all together. god knows i'm a moron when i drink anyway. before my quit, if i ran out of chew while out drinking, i'd just bum smokes from people. i know i can't do that now, so that's another reason why i may just give up drinking. i obviously have an addict in me, and i don't want to focus my addictive tendencies on alcohol. i'd rather be addicted to quitting. if you're new and you're reading this, get plugged in immediately. register in the chat room. get someone's phone number. it makes the accountability more real when you have chatted with or exchanged text messages with someone about your quit. it becomes more than just a daily copy/paste exercise. i'm not saying that posting roll isn't important... it should be the first thing you do when you get out of bed in the morning. i'm just saying that you need to make your quit as real as possible, and by getting plugged in your quit takes on the form of living, breathing assholes who are going through or have gone through the same suck that you are currently experiencing. you aren't alone.
