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Forever Ever

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Aquaman43:
January 12, 2023, Day 1017. Almost back to where I was. I don't remember exactly how long I was quit when I decided to go back to the can. None of the thoughts I had then have made their way to my mind. I've gone from wondering what it's like to be someone that doesn't dip to being someone that doesn't dip. I don't have any cravings. That doesn't mean the nic bitch doesn't sneak up on me every once in a while, but I don't even acknowledge her any longer. You have to change your focus from what used to be to what can be. That's where I went wrong last time, romanticizing the can. Always there in the back of my head was that thought that this doesn't have to be forever. Now I just think about how good it is to be free forever. One day at a time, of course.

Keith0617:

--- Quote from: Aquaman43 on June 14, 2023, 10:21:29 AM ---March 17, 2008. That's the first time I posted Day 805. I wish I knew what was going through my head then. I look at some of those old posts now and then just to see if it reminds me. I know I struggled. The physical cravings were long gone by then, but I know I kept romanticizing the bitch. On the outside I was strong, on the inside, not so much. If someone had told me that in a little less than 300 days I would cave, I probably wouldn't have batted an eye. I still didn't believe in forever ever then. I definitely remember holding on to some fantasy that I would be able to return to the can and make everything ok.

I have no such thoughts now. I'm at peace. I still chew on plastic straws from time-to-time, but even that is less frequent. I know we do one day at a time here, but I'm comfortable with forever ever. It kind of makes me happy. To stop romanticizing the bitch you need to fall in love with something else. I fell in love with all the little things that not dipping offers. Kissing my wife whenever I want. Not seeing my granddaughter's face scrunch up when I would spit in a bottle. And the big thing...freedom. I can't even remember the last time I tapped my back pocket when leaving the house to make sure my can was there. Yeah, freedom is worth forever ever.

--- End quote ---
Congrats @Aquaman43 . Proud to quit with you.

Aquaman43:
March 17, 2008. That's the first time I posted Day 805. I wish I knew what was going through my head then. I look at some of those old posts now and then just to see if it reminds me. I know I struggled. The physical cravings were long gone by then, but I know I kept romanticizing the bitch. On the outside I was strong, on the inside, not so much. If someone had told me that in a little less than 300 days I would cave, I probably wouldn't have batted an eye. I still didn't believe in forever ever then. I definitely remember holding on to some fantasy that I would be able to return to the can and make everything ok.

I have no such thoughts now. I'm at peace. I still chew on plastic straws from time-to-time, but even that is less frequent. I know we do one day at a time here, but I'm comfortable with forever ever. It kind of makes me happy. To stop romanticizing the bitch you need to fall in love with something else. I fell in love with all the little things that not dipping offers. Kissing my wife whenever I want. Not seeing my granddaughter's face scrunch up when I would spit in a bottle. And the big thing...freedom. I can't even remember the last time I tapped my back pocket when leaving the house to make sure my can was there. Yeah, freedom is worth forever ever.

Aquaman43:
Holy shit! You know it's Monday when you screw a thread up this bad. That's what happens when you get used to Discord and forget how to Forum.

Aquaman43:
I was going to post at one year, but I wanted to wait a bit to see how I felt later on. The one year funk was total hell. By far the worst I've been hit in my quit. I laid it out there and had some great support, people reminding me to not romanticize the past.
Things are back to normal now. It took a few days after the quitterversary to calm down. While I was going through the fun, one of the guys in May 22 asked for some strategy on the breakup with dipping. How to come to terms with no dipping ever again. Instead of just telling him to stop romanticizing the past, (which is still great advice) I told him this. And I was telling it to myself at the same time. I tend to think we all do that when we are answering questions from the newer quitters.

Start romanticizing the quit. Find all the good things about the quit, no matter how trivial you think others may find it. They're for you anyway, there is no need to share them. If it is alleviating the fear of cancer, great. Write it down. If it's waking up and not feeling like the Russian Army just marched across your tongue, write it down. Personally, I love spending extra time in bed with my wife, just talking without the nagging nic bitch demanding a fix. I love that my granddaughter doesn't have to make that face again when I pull out my spitter. The way to break up with something is to fall in love with something else. Find those somethings in your quit and fall in love with them.

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