KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Dipchit on July 28, 2023, 11:09:50 AM
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Hello to all you quitters. I’m proud to be a quitter again. I started dipping back in 1984 and only dipped once a day just after supper and that was it. I quit cold turkey in April of 1991 with zero issues. Stupidly I started dipping again that fall when hunting season opened. That relapse went on until spring of 2000 because I had my wisdom teeth removed. Again no withdrawal at all other than a few days of craving. 2 months later I said phuck it and started dipping again until the fall of 2005. Quit cold turkey and all I had was a little apathy and brain fog for a couple weeks. I was off the can for 14 years and felt fantastic until one day a buddy took a dip and I asked for one. Figured it won’t hurt me after all these years. Well a few days later I picked up a tin after gassing up and that was about 4 years ago and it turned into a 2 tin per week habit. I’m now 47 days off the crap and I’m still miserable with anxiety/Depression, dizziness, apathy, muscle spasms etc. I never thought quitting would be this difficult due to my past quits. Anyway looking forward to meeting you all.
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Hello to all you quitters. I’m proud to be a quitter again. I started dipping back in 1984 and only dipped once a day just after supper and that was it. I quit cold turkey in April of 1991 with zero issues. Stupidly I started dipping again that fall when hunting season opened. That relapse went on until spring of 2000 because I had my wisdom teeth removed. Again no withdrawal at all other than a few days of craving. 2 months later I said phuck it and started dipping again until the fall of 2005. Quit cold turkey and all I had was a little apathy and brain fog for a couple weeks. I was off the can for 14 years and felt fantastic until one day a buddy took a dip and I asked for one. Figured it won’t hurt me after all these years. Well a few days later I picked up a tin after gassing up and that was about 4 years ago and it turned into a 2 tin per week habit. I’m now 47 days off the crap and I’m still miserable with anxiety/Depression, dizziness, apathy, muscle spasms etc. I never thought quitting would be this difficult due to my past quits. Anyway looking forward to meeting you all.
@Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) sounds like you aren’t a quitter at all, but more like a frequent stopper. You also haven’t been dealing with a habit but rather an addiction. We are all addicts and nicotine is our drug. Suggest you go over to Discord and signup. You then will get assigned to your group. Here is the link if you are finally ready to actually quit. https://discord.gg/9qXQcTHuhd
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I’ll check it out. Thank you.
I’m currently on day 49 of my final quit and am still dealing with anxiety and depression. The depression does seem to be tapering away but my anxiety is worse in the late afternoon than it is during the morning. Once the anxiety passes I know I’ll be past this and looking at dipping in the rear view mirror forever. I’m so disappointed in myself for blowing my 14 year quit in a moment of weakness. It does help though to think back to those days just living life and not being tied down to dipping. Hell I’d go for long periods of time like many months and not even think about dip and when I did I’d think to myself (how could I be a slave to that shit?) but in a moment of weakness trust me that it can all come back and there you are buying a can and starting all over again. BTW when I started dipping back in 1984 it was 85 cents a can, when I quit in 2005 it was $5.00 a can, when I quit 49 days ago it was $12.00 a can. I’m done forever. I quit for me, I quit for my family. Yes I am a quitter!!!!!
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At what point of your journey did the anxiety subside? I’m at 49 days and am still dealing with anxiety most of the time. Late afternoon is the worst.
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Hey @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404), glad you found KTC.
First off, each quitter only gets one introduction. You can use it however you please (provide updates on your quit, journal tough times, share victories, ask for help, etc.) but please continue to use this one. I combined your question about anxiety here.
Anxiety is incredibly common and affects most quitters to some degree at some point during their quits. There is a specific sub-thread on Discord for quitters dealing with anxiety. I would encourage you to get over to KTC on Discord and start to get plugged in to those conversations. Since moving over to the Discord platform, the forum here acts primarily as a historical repository for all things quit related from times begone.
A couple other things quick. This isn't your final quit; it's your first quit. Any previous 'quits' were merely stoppages. What makes KTC so successful is that we don't quit 'forever'. We quit one day at a time (ODAAT). The present is all we can control. Make that promise right when you wake up and focus all your energy on keeping that promise 24 hours at a time. In a certain sense, history doesn't exist. Sure, everything in history did happen but nothing we do today will change yesterday or last month or last year. So keep your eyes forward and make sure that cancer dirt stays out of your face TODAY!
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Ok thanks for the reply. I am still fighting with anxiety today at 50 days out and everything I read on the innerweb says that depression and anxiety should be gone by 4 weeks. I’ll check out the discord thing you talk about. I really don’t know what that is but I’ll look into it. I’m old and just learned how to use a smart phone a few years ago so bear with me.
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Hello to all you quitters. I’m proud to be a quitter again. I started dipping back in 1984 and only dipped once a day just after supper and that was it. I quit cold turkey in April of 1991 with zero issues. Stupidly I started dipping again that fall when hunting season opened. That relapse went on until spring of 2000 because I had my wisdom teeth removed. Again no withdrawal at all other than a few days of craving. 2 months later I said phuck it and started dipping again until the fall of 2005. Quit cold turkey and all I had was a little apathy and brain fog for a couple weeks. I was off the can for 14 years and felt fantastic until one day a buddy took a dip and I asked for one. Figured it won’t hurt me after all these years. Well a few days later I picked up a tin after gassing up and that was about 4 years ago and it turned into a 2 tin per week habit. I’m now 47 days off the crap and I’m still miserable with anxiety/Depression, dizziness, apathy, muscle spasms etc. I never thought quitting would be this difficult due to my past quits. Anyway looking forward to meeting you all.
@Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) sounds like you aren’t a quitter at all, but more like a frequent stopper. You also haven’t been dealing with a habit but rather an addiction. We are all addicts and nicotine is our drug. Suggest you go over to Discord and signup. You then will get assigned to your group. Here is the link if you are finally ready to actually quit. https://discord.gg/9qXQcTHuhd
Keith included the link to Discord above. Download the Discord app on your phone first and then click that link.
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Ok thanks for the reply. I am still fighting with anxiety today at 50 days out and everything I read on the innerweb says that depression and anxiety should be gone by 4 weeks. I’ll check out the discord thing you talk about. I really don’t know what that is but I’ll look into it. I’m old and just learned how to use a smart phone a few years ago so bear with me.
Don't mean to scare you since everyone is truly different, but my quit related anxiety didn't hit me until a couple years into my quit. For some folks it's right away but it can hit at any time, for any duration throughout a person's quit. For some it's reoccurring but they learn to manage over time.
I would recommend you maybe consult your doctor. Some folks take medication to manage. For me, I went the therapist route which helped a lot and I never ended up having to take any medication to manage the anxiety.
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I’ll look into the thearapy thing. I’m now on day 58 and I feel like it’s never going to end. I wake up with fear/anxiety and go to bed with fear/anxiety. It feels like the first week. Withdrawal really took me by surprise. I quit a few times in the past with no symptoms even after dipping for years. Crazy shit.
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I’ll look into the thearapy thing. I’m now on day 58 and I feel like it’s never going to end. I wake up with fear/anxiety and go to bed with fear/anxiety. It feels like the first week. Withdrawal really took me by surprise. I quit a few times in the past with no symptoms even after dipping for years. Crazy shit.
The first couple hundred days have been pretty intense peaks and valleys.
My best non-medical advice is to focus on TODAY. Don't worry about it you will have fear/anxiety tomorrow or next week. Focus on your quit TODAY and focus on managing your anxiety 24 hours at a time. Exercise really helps even if it's just walking around the neighborhood. Drink lots of water and find things to keep your mind busy. All this being said, what you are describing is incredibly common for many quitters and will get better with time. Each person is different though so don't latch on to the experiences of one or two folks and then expect your timetable to be exactly the same.
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Thanks for the advice. I do try to keep busy to distract from the hell but it’s tough. I sometimes get relief in the evening after 8:00 pm. Sometimes the anxiety just lifts and it feels so wonderful but by wake-up time it’s back and I can be assured that it’s another day in hell. Sometimes it’s on the verge of panic. Sure makes it tough to not cave and pop in a dip of Kodiak but I know that it will put me back to square one so that’s not an option.
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Thanks for the advice. I do try to keep busy to distract from the hell but it’s tough. I sometimes get relief in the evening after 8:00 pm. Sometimes the anxiety just lifts and it feels so wonderful but by wake-up time it’s back and I can be assured that it’s another day in hell. Sometimes it’s on the verge of panic. Sure makes it tough to not cave and pop in a dip of Kodiak but I know that it will put me back to square one so that’s not an option.
There is no shame getting help. You are here which is a fantastic start. Though while we can help with the addiction/nicotine side of things, we aren't qualified to help provide any medical advice. I would encourage you to see your doctor and talk through your options with them. For some folks here, medication helped get them over the hump and it was nothing long term. For me, therapy and understanding what was causing my stress/anxiety was helpful along with how to deal with instances of panic/stress/anxiety.
You aren't alone in this challenge. Keep sharing what's going on; sometimes journaling things out in here helps folks too.
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Day 59
I’m pleased to say that I had a few hours last night that the anxiety was not bad. It was there but low. Unfortunately it was back this morning. Anxiety and depression are my two most common symptoms now. Gone are the physical symptoms that consisted of mouth sores, muscle spasms, constipation, dizziness and headaches. It’s to bad we are all so different and our symptoms don’t dissolve around the same time so we can all know how much suffering we have ahead of us. I noticed that nobody really mentions how long a particular symptom lasted probably because we are so unique in our journeys. I quit or stopped a few times over the last 30 years and each one was with nearly zero withdrawal. Yes amazing!!!
When I quit in 2005 all I had was a few days of brain fog and some craving but that was it. Stupidly 14 years later I bummed a pinch from a bud and that was it. I remember after 2 years of my 14 year quit I never even thought about chewing. Just one moment of weakness was all it took to destroy that quit.
I must say I was completely taken by surprise when I was hit by the withdrawals. Hopefully this ends soon because I really want my old self back.
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Day 59
I’m pleased to say that I had a few hours last night that the anxiety was not bad. It was there but low. Unfortunately it was back this morning. Anxiety and depression are my two most common symptoms now. Gone are the physical symptoms that consisted of mouth sores, muscle spasms, constipation, dizziness and headaches. It’s to bad we are all so different and our symptoms don’t dissolve around the same time so we can all know how much suffering we have ahead of us. I noticed that nobody really mentions how long a particular symptom lasted probably because we are so unique in our journeys. I quit or stopped a few times over the last 30 years and each one was with nearly zero withdrawal. Yes amazing!!!
When I quit in 2005 all I had was a few days of brain fog and some craving but that was it. Stupidly 14 years later I bummed a pinch from a bud and that was it. I remember after 2 years of my 14 year quit I never even thought about chewing. Just one moment of weakness was all it took to destroy that quit.
I must say I was completely taken by surprise when I was hit by the withdrawals. Hopefully this ends soon because I really want my old self back.
You didn’t quit, you just stopped for a while. You didn’t learn a thing obviously.
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You have your opinion and I have mine. I QUIT dipping for 14 years or I stopped for 14 years. Same thing.
I actually had another evening last night that the anxiety was very low. It seems to follow my cortisol levels during the day. I feel like crap in the morning and as the day progresses my anxiety lowers. By bedtime it’s just in the background. I had my doctor run bloods a couple months back and everything came back normal. Hopefully this withdrawal is starting to leave forever. Again every time I quit (stopped) in the past I had virtually zero symptoms so this was quit the surprise for me. Guess I should have done some research before quitting (stopping) the devils dirt.
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You have your opinion and I have mine. I QUIT dipping for 14 years or I stopped for 14 years. Same thing.
I actually had another evening last night that the anxiety was very low. It seems to follow my cortisol levels during the day. I feel like crap in the morning and as the day progresses my anxiety lowers. By bedtime it’s just in the background. I had my doctor run bloods a couple months back and everything came back normal. Hopefully this withdrawal is starting to leave forever. Again every time I quit (stopped) in the past I had virtually zero symptoms so this was quit the surprise for me. Guess I should have done some research before quitting (stopping) the devils dirt.
It may seem like semantics but at KTC we make a clear distinction between stoppages and our first and only "QUIT".
Each person only has one QUIT. Anything prior is merely a stoppage whether it was for a week, a couple months, or 14 years.
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Ok. Got it. Thanks for the clarification.
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Day 61.
Had a fairly decent night last night. I woke at 3:00 am to piss and I felt good. No anxiety or depression so I just laid there enjoying the feeling of calm that I rarely get. Drifted off soon after but when I awoke at 5:00 am I felt horrible. Dread, depression and anxiety. Just like Groundhog Day. Here we go again. It usually peaks around 4:00 pm and then starts to drop around 8:00 pm. I have described this to my POS doctor and all he wants to do I offer me some new anti depressant. Fuck him!
Anyway over all it’s slowly getting better but at a glacial pace. Fuckin nicotine should be banned worldwide. Anyone else experience this issue?
There’s my rant of the day.
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Day 61.
Had a fairly decent night last night. I woke at 3:00 am to piss and I felt good. No anxiety or depression so I just laid there enjoying the feeling of calm that I rarely get. Drifted off soon after but when I awoke at 5:00 am I felt horrible. Dread, depression and anxiety. Just like Groundhog Day. Here we go again. It usually peaks around 4:00 pm and then starts to drop around 8:00 pm. I have described this to my POS doctor and all he wants to do I offer me some new anti depressant. Fuck him!
Anyway over all it’s slowly getting better but at a glacial pace. Fuckin nicotine should be banned worldwide. Anyone else experience this issue?
There’s my rant of the day.
Hey man, I like the way you continue to document/journal your experience. Have you got plugged into KTC on Discord yet? Discord is the primary platform and contains most of our active members; it even has a thread for folks struggling with anxiety and depression.
Click here and join us on Discord if you haven't already: https://discord.gg/nC5bc5ZKcb
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Thanks. I’m hoping that documenting my journey through all this it may help comfort others in knowing that all these uncomfortable symptoms will eventually fade away. I do relize that we all heal differently and at varying rates that is individual.
No I haven’t looked into discord because I was a closet dipper and I dipped for years off and on behind my wife’s back and to access discord I would have to download the app and she would know what I was doing. We share the same account. By keeping it here I can keep it a secret. I know, not cool and I don’t feel good about it but I have it instilled in my mind that I will never dip again. I started dipping when I was 18 and dipped for over half my life if you add up all the years between stoppages. It still surprises me that 3 out of the 4 stoppages I didn’t have any withdrawal but my last stop I got slammed. I didn’t think any of my symptoms were nicotine related until I started the googling stopping dip and there it was. I even picked up a can of Zyn and put 3 in my dip pouch. Lo and behold, within 20 minutes to a half hour I felt fine. So there I thought I would just taper but that only lasted a few days and I just said fuck it and went cold turkey 61 days ago. My cravings are few and far between now but I’m still dealing with anxiety and some background depression. I am happy to say though that in the last couple weeks I am noticing that the anxiety is slowly becoming less and less.
Well back to work because break time is over. Stay strong all you fellow quitters. I can call myself a quitter because I’m never going to be tempted by the nic bitch ever again. Lesson learned.
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Thanks. I’m hoping that documenting my journey through all this it may help comfort others in knowing that all these uncomfortable symptoms will eventually fade away. I do relize that we all heal differently and at varying rates that is individual.
No I haven’t looked into discord because I was a closet dipper and I dipped for years off and on behind my wife’s back and to access discord I would have to download the app and she would know what I was doing. We share the same account. By keeping it here I can keep it a secret. I know, not cool and I don’t feel good about it but I have it instilled in my mind that I will never dip again. I started dipping when I was 18 and dipped for over half my life if you add up all the years between stoppages. It still surprises me that 3 out of the 4 stoppages I didn’t have any withdrawal but my last stop I got slammed. I didn’t think any of my symptoms were nicotine related until I started the googling stopping dip and there it was. I even picked up a can of Zyn and put 3 in my dip pouch. Lo and behold, within 20 minutes to a half hour I felt fine. So there I thought I would just taper but that only lasted a few days and I just said fuck it and went cold turkey 61 days ago. My cravings are few and far between now but I’m still dealing with anxiety and some background depression. I am happy to say though that in the last couple weeks I am noticing that the anxiety is slowly becoming less and less.
Well back to work because break time is over. Stay strong all you fellow quitters. I can call myself a quitter because I’m never going to be tempted by the nic bitch ever again. Lesson learned.
Nothing like a relationship built on trust. Quitting alone is a bitch. Quitting with others is sooooooo much easier. Maybe grow a pair, be honest, and start quitting in a program that is proven to work.
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Boy Keith arnt you just a ray of sunshine. I have had a pair since I was born 58 years ago so that’s not the problem. I don’t need others to lean on and to hold my hand to quit dipping. I’m not THAT weak. I’m pretty strong willed so I know I’ll be fine. I’m just here to help others through the process because I have successfully quit and I know that I will never go back to dipping.
BTW I’m on day 64 now and I had a fairly good day on Saturday. The anxiety was really weak to none and I actually felt like doing things that I used to. Unfortunately yesterday (day 63) really sucked. I woke up to the tingling sensation all over and my mood crashed. Then the brain fog set in for the day. It’s amazing how the symptoms come and go like that rather than disappear in a linear fashion. Today I’m feeling rather flat with no enthusiasm for anything. Life sure is boring without dip. So anyway all you fellow quitters have a good day. Even you Kieth.
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KTC has always taken a hard nosed, tough love approach to quitting. This isn't just a support group; this is an accountability network. KTC has never been a pat on the ass, 'you'll get 'em next time champ' sort of system. We quit hard. We don't accept failure as an option. We hold each other's feet to the fire and grind this out one hour, one afternoon, one day at a time. To us here, this is viewed as life and death. We call out addict speak when we see it even if it doesn't make us popular. It's better to hate and rage at us than on your loved ones at home. We can take it.
I was a ninja dipper as well. I eventually told my wife (before I found KTC) thinking it would be the motivation I needed to quit but it was another 8 months after that where I found KTC and the rest is history. Was my wife hurt? Yeah. Was she upset. Sure. Did she want to be supportive and help me be successful? Absolutely. Telling loved ones in your life can be incredibly difficult and will likely put a temporary strain on your relationships. But the transparency and honesty will help solidify the foundations of your quit. Addiction thrives on a bed of lies. Being quit requires honesty, both with yourself and those around you. I'd encourage you to consider being honest with your wife; is some of your anxiety perhaps linked to the fear of her finding out the years of lies and nicotine use?
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No my anxiety has nothing to do with her finding out because she never will. I’m comfortable knowing that I will never put the devils dirt in my mouth again. The only reasons I stopped before was because it was so expensive. I didn’t want to quit. I loved dipping. I missed it. I didn’t have any withdrawal either. Now that I’m older I have to quit because I’m concerned about my health and my health is very important because my family wants me around for a while. My cravings are completely gone as well as all the physical stuff but as mentioned before I’m still going through some anxiety but it’s slowly becoming less and less as the weeks go by. I’m just here to help others with advice and encouragement. I know for a fact I’ll never dip again. Once my dopamine comes back and the boredom goes away life will really get better. There is life beyond dip. We must all remember that.
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No my anxiety has nothing to do with her finding out because she never will. I’m comfortable knowing that I will never put the devils dirt in my mouth again. The only reasons I stopped before was because it was so expensive. I didn’t want to quit. I loved dipping. I missed it. I didn’t have any withdrawal either. Now that I’m older I have to quit because I’m concerned about my health and my health is very important because my family wants me around for a while. My cravings are completely gone as well as all the physical stuff but as mentioned before I’m still going through some anxiety but it’s slowly becoming less and less as the weeks go by. I’m just here to help others with advice and encouragement. I know for a fact I’ll never dip again. Once my dopamine comes back and the boredom goes away life will really get better. There is life beyond dip. We must all remember that.
So what happens if you would get some mouth/tongue/esophagus related medical issues from your history of dipping? Wouldn't she find out then? I hope and pray that doesn't happen to you or anyone here but probably a worse time for her to find out than at the start of your quit journey.
When I quit back in 2016, I thought I loved dipping as well. I didn't really want to quit but forced myself to. Turns out all that was one big fucking lie. No one loves something that is actively trying to hurt/kill them. Nicotine/dip did nothing for us other than steal our money and our health as well as strained our relationships. This is true even for those of us that ninja dipped because going off to hide our addiction took time away from our family and loved ones. The addict part of your brain will continue to tell you these lies a long time into your quit. You have to actively reprogram your brain to hate nicotine, to hate dipping and to not miss something that is poisonous and deadly. Flick off the convenience stores when you drive by. Get angry. Learn to hate this thing that kept you in slavery for so long.
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I’m not gonna worry about that unless it happens. I have been to the dentist and doctor and got a clean bill of health from both. Doesn’t mean something won’t creep in years from now but I’m not gonna dwell on it. Yes I agree about hating the addiction. I do hate big tobacco and the nic bitch. I never promised myself before I would never dip again but this time I have. My previous stops were only because it was to expensive and I was putting my kid through college but now it’s because I’m concerned about my longevity so like I said before I know I will never dip again. I won’t do what I don’t crave. Big tobacco can kiss my ass and so can the nic bitch. I said the same to big alcohol 10 years ago and haven’t touched a drop since.
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Day 65
Last night the anxiety was almost nonexistent after 4:00 pm. That surprises me because it is usually bad in the late afternoon. It’s nice getting these breaks from anxiety and depression because up until a couple weeks ago it was mostly constant. Hopefully this indicates that I’m turning a corner for the better. As I type this it’s mid morning and I have some anxiety but it’s tolerable. My cravings are hopefully long gone. Haven’t craved nicotine for about a month now but I did have a little craving for a beer. That surprised me because I haven’t had a beer since January of 2014.
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Hey Dipchit,
I've been reading through your posts here. I am 55 years old, I dipped for 31 of those years and am proud to say I am 2,036 days nicotine free today. Congrats on getting this far on your own. I know it is not an easy trek. One thing I would like to ask is, do you really think your wife doesn't know that you were dipping? If you've been married to her for more than five years, I guarantee you she knows. My advice to you is to come clean to her. What kind of relationship can you truly have with her if it is based on a lie. That's what you are doing, you are lying to her by not telling her the truth and laying it all out on the table. If you are willing to lie to her, then what's stopping you from lying to a bunch of strangers on the internet as to whether or not you are truly quit?
Food for thought my friend.
Mn_Engineer and Keith0617 are both kings of quit and have saved my ass more than a time or two. Listen to their advice regardless of of you feel about it. This is not a place that panders to feelings. We are far from politically correct. Frankly, we don't give a shit about your feelings. We are trying to save your life, period.
If you want extra accountability, PM me for my phone number and I would be happy to text and/or call every day to make sure you keep your daily promise to be quit. That is how we roll here, we make a promise each and every day to remain quit for that day. We don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow is today, ODAAT (One Day at a Time).
I would say good luck in your quit, but there is no luck involved. Instead I will say, I expect a PM with your phone number.
Chris
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Thanks for the offer Chris but I’m good.
Anyway I’m now on Day 66 and zero craving and only about two hours of weak anxiety yesterday. I’m really hoping things are improving and keep heading in that direction. When I think I’m really feeling like shit I think back to the first couple of weeks and how agonizing it was. It’s a good reminder that I’m way better now than then. I’m finding that music therapy is working wonders for my moods. I like a combination of 90s country and 80s rock. Music is a great dopamine boost as and so is weight lifting. I have increased my strength and endurance quite noticeably since my quit. The brain loves exercise. That’s all I got for now. If anyone wants advice or encouragement I’m here for you all.
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Hey Dipchit,
I've been reading through your posts here. I am 55 years old, I dipped for 31 of those years and am proud to say I am 2,036 days nicotine free today. Congrats on getting this far on your own. I know it is not an easy trek. One thing I would like to ask is, do you really think your wife doesn't know that you were dipping? If you've been married to her for more than five years, I guarantee you she knows. My advice to you is to come clean to her. What kind of relationship can you truly have with her if it is based on a lie. That's what you are doing, you are lying to her by not telling her the truth and laying it all out on the table. If you are willing to lie to her, then what's stopping you from lying to a bunch of strangers on the internet as to whether or not you are truly quit?
Food for thought my friend.
Mn_Engineer and Keith0617 are both kings of quit and have saved my ass more than a time or two. Listen to their advice regardless of of you feel about it. This is not a place that panders to feelings. We are far from politically correct. Frankly, we don't give a shit about your feelings. We are trying to save your life, period.
If you want extra accountability, PM me for my phone number and I would be happy to text and/or call every day to make sure you keep your daily promise to be quit. That is how we roll here, we make a promise each and every day to remain quit for that day. We don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow is today, ODAAT (One Day at a Time).
I would say good luck in your quit, but there is no luck involved. Instead I will say, I expect a PM with your phone number.
Chris
No she doesn’t know and will never need to know. The reason I know she didn’t is that if she did I would be pulling her shoe out of my ass as I was getting ready to fill out divorce papers. Nope we’re all good here Chris. We are happy and I’m a former dipper that will never dabble with the devils dirt again. I appreciate the offer of support from you but I’m a big strong willed man and I don’t need my hand held to stay away from dip. It’s in my past forever and never again will it be in my future. I’m just here to offer support and advice to anyone who is struggling with their quit.
Thanks again but no.
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Hey Dipchit,
I've been reading through your posts here. I am 55 years old, I dipped for 31 of those years and am proud to say I am 2,036 days nicotine free today. Congrats on getting this far on your own. I know it is not an easy trek. One thing I would like to ask is, do you really think your wife doesn't know that you were dipping? If you've been married to her for more than five years, I guarantee you she knows. My advice to you is to come clean to her. What kind of relationship can you truly have with her if it is based on a lie. That's what you are doing, you are lying to her by not telling her the truth and laying it all out on the table. If you are willing to lie to her, then what's stopping you from lying to a bunch of strangers on the internet as to whether or not you are truly quit?
Food for thought my friend.
Mn_Engineer and Keith0617 are both kings of quit and have saved my ass more than a time or two. Listen to their advice regardless of of you feel about it. This is not a place that panders to feelings. We are far from politically correct. Frankly, we don't give a shit about your feelings. We are trying to save your life, period.
If you want extra accountability, PM me for my phone number and I would be happy to text and/or call every day to make sure you keep your daily promise to be quit. That is how we roll here, we make a promise each and every day to remain quit for that day. We don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow is today, ODAAT (One Day at a Time).
I would say good luck in your quit, but there is no luck involved. Instead I will say, I expect a PM with your phone number.
Chris
No she doesn’t know and will never need to know. The reason I know she didn’t is that if she did I would be pulling her shoe out of my ass as I was getting ready to fill out divorce papers. Nope we’re all good here Chris. We are happy and I’m a former dipper that will never dabble with the devils dirt again. I appreciate the offer of support from you but I’m a big strong willed man and I don’t need my hand held to stay away from dip. It’s in my past forever and never again will it be in my future. I’m just here to offer support and advice to anyone who is struggling with their quit.
Thanks again but no.
You said it's in your past 'forever' but based on the history you've shared, I don't understand why the future would magically be suddenly different than your past. What is going keep this 'quit' different than any of your previous stoppages?
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Hey Dipchit,
This quit is the one that sticks because I have absolutely no cravings or desire to dip ever again. My previous stops I did involved zero withdrawal unlike my most recent and I never ever want to put myself through that again. Same with my drinking. I quit drinking cold turkey 9 and a half years ago and went through some withdrawal consisting of anxiety and depression as well as the shakes but it passed in less than 2 weeks. Haven’t touched a drop ever since. Again I have zero desire to dip again. Anxiety is fading away and life is coming back. I now have grandkids and I’m not going to be the grandpa that has to go hide to dip. Fuck that! I am very strong willed and I know deep down that dipping is forever in the past. I have developed a deep hatred for big tobacco and the nic bitch. It’s all good my friend. It’s over. Don’t need it to live. Again if anyone needs any advice or an ear to bend go ahead and post here. I’ll help you out. I’m here to help.
I've been reading through your posts here. I am 55 years old, I dipped for 31 of those years and am proud to say I am 2,036 days nicotine free today. Congrats on getting this far on your own. I know it is not an easy trek. One thing I would like to ask is, do you really think your wife doesn't know that you were dipping? If you've been married to her for more than five years, I guarantee you she knows. My advice to you is to come clean to her. What kind of relationship can you truly have with her if it is based on a lie. That's what you are doing, you are lying to her by not telling her the truth and laying it all out on the table. If you are willing to lie to her, then what's stopping you from lying to a bunch of strangers on the internet as to whether or not you are truly quit?
Food for thought my friend.
Mn_Engineer and Keith0617 are both kings of quit and have saved my ass more than a time or two. Listen to their advice regardless of of you feel about it. This is not a place that panders to feelings. We are far from politically correct. Frankly, we don't give a shit about your feelings. We are trying to save your life, period.
If you want extra accountability, PM me for my phone number and I would be happy to text and/or call every day to make sure you keep your daily promise to be quit. That is how we roll here, we make a promise each and every day to remain quit for that day. We don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow is today, ODAAT (One Day at a Time).
I would say good luck in your quit, but there is no luck involved. Instead I will say, I expect a PM with your phone number.
Chris
No she doesn’t know and will never need to know. The reason I know she didn’t is that if she did I would be pulling her shoe out of my ass as I was getting ready to fill out divorce papers. Nope we’re all good here Chris. We are happy and I’m a former dipper that will never dabble with the devils dirt again. I appreciate the offer of support from you but I’m a big strong willed man and I don’t need my hand held to stay away from dip. It’s in my past forever and never again will it be in my future. I’m just here to offer support and advice to anyone who is struggling with their quit.
Thanks again but no.
You said it's in your past 'forever' but based on the history you've shared, I don't understand why the future would magically be suddenly different than your past. What is going keep this 'quit' different than any of your previous stoppages?
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Day 67
Not feeling to well today so far. Got some anxiety and depression going on. Not really bad but enough to feel like shit. Still zero craving and no desire to dip which is very good. It’s most likely my dopamine is still in re boot so it will take time. I have read in several places that there was a study done and it showed that it takes on average about 90 days for the reward center of the brain to recover and function normally. I’m so looking forward to that because I’m still feeling rather flat. What helps me mostly is thinking back week by week and remembering how bad I felt then compared to now and that’s how I see and feel the progress. I am definitely looking forward to deer hunting this fall so that is definitely progress.
Hope this helps someone just starting their journey. More updates to come.
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Day 67
Not feeling to well today so far. Got some anxiety and depression going on. Not really bad but enough to feel like shit. Still zero craving and no desire to dip which is very good. It’s most likely my dopamine is still in re boot so it will take time. I have read in several places that there was a study done and it showed that it takes on average about 90 days for the reward center of the brain to recover and function normally. I’m so looking forward to that because I’m still feeling rather flat. What helps me mostly is thinking back week by week and remembering how bad I felt then compared to now and that’s how I see and feel the progress. I am definitely looking forward to deer hunting this fall so that is definitely progress.
Hope this helps someone just starting their journey. More updates to come.
I like the updates. One of the biggest things we push at KTC is the concept of 'one day at a time' (ODAAT). Don't worry about what Day 90 will bring. Always focus on TODAY. There are many peaks and valleys throughout the first few years of a person's quit. Worry about today and let tomorrow take care of itself. Erase any preconceived notions of what your quit and/or anxiety will be like in the future and focus 24 hours at a time.
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Sounds like good advice. Thank you. I was really blindsided this quit because the last 3 times I stopped dipping I had no withdrawal at all other than a little boredom that lasted a week or so then I just forgot all about dipping like it never happened. This time anxiety and depression hit me like a freight train on day 2. I thought I was going crazy and it couldn’t possibly be from quitting dip. Maybe it was because I’m older now. Anyway I never have to worry about going through withdrawal again because my lesson has been learned.
Thanks again for the advice.
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Day 68
Not much changed since yesterday so it’s just another day in withdrawal. Just going to take it one day at a time. No desire to dip at all. I had to fuel up my truck last night and when I went in to pay a saw all the cigs and cans behind the counter and it didn’t even bother me at all. No desire or craving. I guess the anxiety and depression is keeping me from wanting to dip the devils dirt.
I did have a reprieve from the anxiety last night after 8:00 and it felt good but it came back this morning as usual. I’m really surprised at how long the anxiety is taking to go away. I’m really trying to get this one day at a time thing in my head but I keep thinking about how long symptoms are going to last. I never had anxiety on my previous stops. I wasn’t even aware that it was a symptom of quitting dip. Well onwards we go one day at a time.
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Day 68
Not much changed since yesterday so it’s just another day in withdrawal. Just going to take it one day at a time. No desire to dip at all. I had to fuel up my truck last night and when I went in to pay a saw all the cigs and cans behind the counter and it didn’t even bother me at all. No desire or craving. I guess the anxiety and depression is keeping me from wanting to dip the devils dirt.
I did have a reprieve from the anxiety last night after 8:00 and it felt good but it came back this morning as usual. I’m really surprised at how long the anxiety is taking to go away. I’m really trying to get this one day at a time thing in my head but I keep thinking about how long symptoms are going to last. I never had anxiety on my previous stops. I wasn’t even aware that it was a symptom of quitting dip. Well onwards we go one day at a time.
It's hard to focus on just today but since we can't change the future by worrying, there is no point expanding our focus beyond the current 24 hours we have. I've struggled with anxiety a bit over the course of my quit and sometimes I would give myself increased anxiety being anxious about future anxiety. Ground yourself in today and keep up the solid quit.
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Yep! One day at a time. Anxiety can be crippling sometimes. It’s hard to imagine not having it while you are in the thick of it and on the flip side it’s hard to imagine having it when you don’t. Once I get past the anxiety I will have this quit mastered. I have not had a drop of alcohol in 9.5 years but the other evening while forcing myself to watch TV I actually wanted a beer
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Yep! One day at a time. Anxiety can be crippling sometimes. It’s hard to imagine not having it while you are in the thick of it and on the flip side it’s hard to imagine having it when you don’t. Once I get past the anxiety I will have this quit mastered. I have not had a drop of alcohol in 9.5 years but the other evening while forcing myself to watch TV I actually wanted a beer
Those demons in our brain are always ready to pounce.
Your alcohol quit is impressive. But wanting a beer 9.5 years later proves our point here at KTC when we say that we are never cured; we never 'master' our quits (in the sense that we never have to worry about caving anymore). I've been around here long enough to watch people throw away quits anywhere from a couple hundred days to over 10 years. One wise quitter on here used to say "None of us are too quit to fail. None of us." We may have nicotine and/or alcohol by the nuts but complacency is a quit killer so we always have to actively fight these addictions. Some days the battle may be light but we always have to keep our guard up.
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I totally agree about that. I gave up a stop that lasted 14 years because a bud offered me a pinch. I hadn’t even thought of dip or had a craving for several years. I got Caught in that trap of
“Just one won’t hurt” but it turned into another 4 years of dipping. I would have had almost 18 years free this November if I hadn’t accepted that dip. Crazy times.
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Day 69.
I will never dip again.
Depression is the symptom I woke up to today. It’s just inconceivable to me that nicotine withdrawal can last this long, especially after 3 previous stops with virtually zero symptoms and those were after years of use. Well today I’m going rummage sailing with my better half so hopefully I can find some useful crap for cheap. Stay quit you all because I hear that eventually it gets better.
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Day 70. I will never cave to the crave.
Wow I must have entered the funk. Last night I had some of the worst cravings since the beginning. I went a long time with just anxiety and depression but like I mentioned the craves hit like a freight train. I made it through by washing the car in 90 degree heat and taking a shower. It was too hot for a run or bike ride so I just endured it until it finally let up around dinner time. I’m kinda shell shocked as I type this and also feeling a little depressed. Quitting dip is a total mind fuck. Has anyone else experienced depersonalization during the quit? I just don’t feel like myself at all. I think I’m going to take my ATV (4 wheeler) for a ride through the woods. That might free up the mind. Let’s keep fighting.
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Day 70. I will never cave to the crave.
Wow I must have entered the funk. Last night I had some of the worst cravings since the beginning. I went a long time with just anxiety and depression but like I mentioned the craves hit like a freight train. I made it through by washing the car in 90 degree heat and taking a shower. It was too hot for a run or bike ride so I just endured it until it finally let up around dinner time. I’m kinda shell shocked as I type this and also feeling a little depressed. Quitting dip is a total mind fuck. Has anyone else experienced depersonalization during the quit? I just don’t feel like myself at all. I think I’m going to take my ATV (4 wheeler) for a ride through the woods. That might free up the mind. Let’s keep fighting.
It IS a mind fuck... 100%.
Funks come and go. Just like life. Dip funks are no worse, really. It's just that your security blanket to get you through the funks is what you just quit! You're trying to power through without it... It's all a massive brain rewire and it takes time, brother. It takes time. Keeping busy is absolutely key to redirect yourself.
Don't get down on yourself for the mental lows, either. Don't you dare! Get super pissed that the ground up shit in that can put you here. You're doing something that a LARGE number of people fail at... that's something to celebrate! Take pride in the pain because the payoff gives the pain purpose... freedom. 70 days is amazing. You hear me? AMAZING! Start to reframe your thinking away from the "Woe is me" that your addict brain wants to wallow in... instead, wallow in the tastes of freedom you're starting to experience. I dipped for 20 years, my bro. 2 cans a day for a huge chunk of it. This was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was determined to do this, though. I had to. So... I owned it. Owned. It. Got involved. Got to know people. Subjected the pages of KTC with my brain dumps. You name it. Owned. it. Today is day 3,778 for me and being quit is as easy as breathing at this point. Saying "It gets easier" doesn't quite do it. Quit becomes "normal" if you do the work and own it right now. Normal. It moves away from something that you're working at to, just, something that you ARE. No thought... no effort. Freedom. Rock on, bro.
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Thanks for the encouragement Applejack. I will beat this nic bitch into submission and that is a promise to me and the world. I remember back to my last stop that lasted over 10 years and think how great life was and I can’t believe I caved thinking just one dip can’t hurt. Guess I was wrong. Lesson learned, never again. Thanks again Applejack I will use your words of encouragement to slay the nic bitch.
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Day 71.
Feeling like shit again today. Ain’t gunna sugar coat it. Yesterday my morning depersonalization and depression turned into anxiety in the mid afternoon and lasted until just before bedtime. This morning is depression and anxiety mixed. What really pisses me off is all the medical stuff I read on the innerweb says nicotine withdrawal lasts 2 to 4 weeks and is gone. BULL SHIT!!! It wasn’t until I found this place I knew how long it really lasts. Just like doctors claim that opioid withdrawal is over in 2 weeks. I have a buddy that is 2 years out and still struggling and he only took his medication as directed. Fuckin doctors don’t have a clue about the real world. I’m pissed at myself for taking that pinch 4 years ago after 14 years clean and I’m pissed at the clueless doctors about withdrawal and I’m pissed at big tobacco for their stranglehold they put on us clueless bastards by adding even more nicotine to their products than what is naturally produced just so they can keep us hooked. So far day 71 sucks but at least I know that I will not dip today. Thanks for listening.
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71 days is awesome, but you are rewiring years of behavior and addiction. Keep that in mind. It gets MUCH better, that is guaranteed. One day at a time you are healing bro. You’ve got some strong support here that knows what you are going through. Be proud of your accomplishment.
Day 71.
Feeling like shit again today. Ain’t gunna sugar coat it. Yesterday my morning depersonalization and depression turned into anxiety in the mid afternoon and lasted until just before bedtime. This morning is depression and anxiety mixed. What really pisses me off is all the medical stuff I read on the innerweb says nicotine withdrawal lasts 2 to 4 weeks and is gone. BULL SHIT!!! It wasn’t until I found this place I knew how long it really lasts. Just like doctors claim that opioid withdrawal is over in 2 weeks. I have a buddy that is 2 years out and still struggling and he only took his medication as directed. Fuckin doctors don’t have a clue about the real world. I’m pissed at myself for taking that pinch 4 years ago after 14 years clean and I’m pissed at the clueless doctors about withdrawal and I’m pissed at big tobacco for their stranglehold they put on us clueless bastards by adding even more nicotine to their products than what is naturally produced just so they can keep us hooked. So far day 71 sucks but at least I know that I will not dip today. Thanks for listening.
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Day 72.
Thanks worktowin. Today so far it feels like my brain hurts. Depressed mood and feeling just weary
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Day 72.
Thanks worktowin. Today so far it feels like my brain hurts. Depressed mood and feeling just weary
I don’t have much too add, bro. Everyone’s fight with their addict brain is different. For some, anger helps. For some, physical activity works. For some, a medication assist is appropriate. For some, white knuckling through is the way they choose. The list goes on. I think it’s safe to say that most of us dealt with “something” like what you’re going through when we first quit. So… you’re NOT alone. Nope. I lean into the anxiety side of the scale. Always have. I’m a naturally high string dude. Sometimes that gets the better of me and I have to remember to just freaking slow my roll. The other thing I have to remember is what I’m going to say to you right now… give yourself grace. You took that one pinch after 14 years. Yeah, that sucks ass. I would feel the same way! No lie. But… it’s done, man. It happened. Stop beating yourself up. Stop with that shit.
It. Is. Not. Productive.
You are here. You are turning it around. You are putting it back in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Lesson learned? I think so! Give yourself grace. Winning over an addiction is fucking hard. It’s supposed to be. Once through the fight this time… freedom will be that much sweeter for how hard this is right now. You will value it more and you will do everything you can to keep it that way. Rock on, brother. You’re winning.
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Day 72.
Thanks worktowin. Today so far it feels like my brain hurts. Depressed mood and feeling just weary
I don’t have much too add, bro. Everyone’s fight with their addict brain is different. For some, anger helps. For some, physical activity works. For some, a medication assist is appropriate. For some, white knuckling through is the way they choose. The list goes on. I think it’s safe to say that most of us dealt with “something” like what you’re going through when we first quit. So… you’re NOT alone. Nope. I lean into the anxiety side of the scale. Always have. I’m a naturally high string dude. Sometimes that gets the better of me and I have to remember to just freaking slow my roll. The other thing I have to remember is what I’m going to say to you right now… give yourself grace. You took that one pinch after 14 years. Yeah, that sucks ass. I would feel the same way! No lie. But… it’s done, man. It happened. Stop beating yourself up. Stop with that shit.
It. Is. Not. Productive.
You are here. You are turning it around. You are putting it back in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Lesson learned? I think so! Give yourself grace. Winning over an addiction is fucking hard. It’s supposed to be. Once through the fight this time… freedom will be that much sweeter for how hard this is right now. You will value it more and you will do everything you can to keep it that way. Rock on, brother. You’re winning.
Yep I’m winning but it sure is difficult at times. For me it’s the relentless anxiety. At times it’s just living in a constant state of fear. Only time I don’t feel fear is the great escape called sleep. It usually settles down in the evening after dinner so I can fall asleep but within an hour of waking it’s fear all over again for most of the day. I don’t drink alcohol so I don’t have that to lean on and I definitely wouldn’t consider benzodiazepines because they are just plain nasty addictive so here we are white knuckles every day. If it weren’t for the anxiety or depression it wouldn’t be that bad. Yes one day at a time.
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If you haven’t gotten some phone numbers to chat, you should. Fair warning, applejack is well known to share dick pics !
Just kidding! He’s a great dude that will do anything to help you. This is a lot easier as a team. Being down is ok by the way as long as you make it through the day. Tough times never last. Tough people do.
Day 72.
Thanks worktowin. Today so far it feels like my brain hurts. Depressed mood and feeling just weary
I don’t have much too add, bro. Everyone’s fight with their addict brain is different. For some, anger helps. For some, physical activity works. For some, a medication assist is appropriate. For some, white knuckling through is the way they choose. The list goes on. I think it’s safe to say that most of us dealt with “something” like what you’re going through when we first quit. So… you’re NOT alone. Nope. I lean into the anxiety side of the scale. Always have. I’m a naturally high string dude. Sometimes that gets the better of me and I have to remember to just freaking slow my roll. The other thing I have to remember is what I’m going to say to you right now… give yourself grace. You took that one pinch after 14 years. Yeah, that sucks ass. I would feel the same way! No lie. But… it’s done, man. It happened. Stop beating yourself up. Stop with that shit.
It. Is. Not. Productive.
You are here. You are turning it around. You are putting it back in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Lesson learned? I think so! Give yourself grace. Winning over an addiction is fucking hard. It’s supposed to be. Once through the fight this time… freedom will be that much sweeter for how hard this is right now. You will value it more and you will do everything you can to keep it that way. Rock on, brother. You’re winning.
Yep I’m winning but it sure is difficult at times. For me it’s the relentless anxiety. At times it’s just living in a constant state of fear. Only time I don’t feel fear is the great escape called sleep. It usually settles down in the evening after dinner so I can fall asleep but within an hour of waking it’s fear all over again for most of the day. I don’t drink alcohol so I don’t have that to lean on and I definitely wouldn’t consider benzodiazepines because they are just plain nasty addictive so here we are white knuckles every day. If it weren’t for the anxiety or depression it wouldn’t be that bad. Yes one day at a time.
-
If you haven’t gotten some phone numbers to chat, you should. Fair warning, applejack is well known to share dick pics !
Just kidding! He’s a great dude that will do anything to help you. This is a lot easier as a team. Being down is ok by the way as long as you make it through the day. Tough times never last. Tough people do.
Day 72.
Thanks worktowin. Today so far it feels like my brain hurts. Depressed mood and feeling just weary
I don’t have much too add, bro. Everyone’s fight with their addict brain is different. For some, anger helps. For some, physical activity works. For some, a medication assist is appropriate. For some, white knuckling through is the way they choose. The list goes on. I think it’s safe to say that most of us dealt with “something” like what you’re going through when we first quit. So… you’re NOT alone. Nope. I lean into the anxiety side of the scale. Always have. I’m a naturally high string dude. Sometimes that gets the better of me and I have to remember to just freaking slow my roll. The other thing I have to remember is what I’m going to say to you right now… give yourself grace. You took that one pinch after 14 years. Yeah, that sucks ass. I would feel the same way! No lie. But… it’s done, man. It happened. Stop beating yourself up. Stop with that shit.
It. Is. Not. Productive.
You are here. You are turning it around. You are putting it back in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Lesson learned? I think so! Give yourself grace. Winning over an addiction is fucking hard. It’s supposed to be. Once through the fight this time… freedom will be that much sweeter for how hard this is right now. You will value it more and you will do everything you can to keep it that way. Rock on, brother. You’re winning.
Yep I’m winning but it sure is difficult at times. For me it’s the relentless anxiety. At times it’s just living in a constant state of fear. Only time I don’t feel fear is the great escape called sleep. It usually settles down in the evening after dinner so I can fall asleep but within an hour of waking it’s fear all over again for most of the day. I don’t drink alcohol so I don’t have that to lean on and I definitely wouldn’t consider benzodiazepines because they are just plain nasty addictive so here we are white knuckles every day. If it weren’t for the anxiety or depression it wouldn’t be that bad. Yes one day at a time.
Day 73
Feel like I’m back at the beginning. Woke up at 4:00 am with tingling and anxiety. The depression and brain fog has set in as well. I guess this is what the funk feels like. If I sit or lay down I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. So here I am trying to keep moving. I think it’s called akathesia or twired. Crazy how much dip fucks us up. I actually felt good when I was dipping but going back is not an option ever again.
I’d rather not give my number out because I was a ninja dipper therefore I’m a ninja quitter. It could possibly destroy a marriage if it got out. I just need to get past this and put it in the rear view mirror. I do plan on sticking around though to help the new quitters as they show up.
I will not dip today!!!!!
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Totally understand, I was ninja too. And to a large degree, so was Applejack.
It is amazing how much energy you used hiding this addiction while feeding it. Making excuses. Lying. Missing things with your wife or family so you could take long showers, spend 30 minutes sitting on the toilet enjoying trying to chase that rush that never came again, or driving around aimlessly for no reason. How about the effort to hide the little containers, or spit bottles? Applejack even built little custom hide-ey holes to stash tins. Lying is an exhausting business to be in.
The funk gets better. Today you are winning. You lost a lot of days in a row, it will take some time for the win to set in and for you to feel like you are winning, but you are.
We are here for you bro. One day at a time.
Michael
If you haven’t gotten some phone numbers to chat, you should. Fair warning, applejack is well known to share dick pics !
Just kidding! He’s a great dude that will do anything to help you. This is a lot easier as a team. Being down is ok by the way as long as you make it through the day. Tough times never last. Tough people do.
Day 72.
Thanks worktowin. Today so far it feels like my brain hurts. Depressed mood and feeling just weary
I don’t have much too add, bro. Everyone’s fight with their addict brain is different. For some, anger helps. For some, physical activity works. For some, a medication assist is appropriate. For some, white knuckling through is the way they choose. The list goes on. I think it’s safe to say that most of us dealt with “something” like what you’re going through when we first quit. So… you’re NOT alone. Nope. I lean into the anxiety side of the scale. Always have. I’m a naturally high string dude. Sometimes that gets the better of me and I have to remember to just freaking slow my roll. The other thing I have to remember is what I’m going to say to you right now… give yourself grace. You took that one pinch after 14 years. Yeah, that sucks ass. I would feel the same way! No lie. But… it’s done, man. It happened. Stop beating yourself up. Stop with that shit.
It. Is. Not. Productive.
You are here. You are turning it around. You are putting it back in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Lesson learned? I think so! Give yourself grace. Winning over an addiction is fucking hard. It’s supposed to be. Once through the fight this time… freedom will be that much sweeter for how hard this is right now. You will value it more and you will do everything you can to keep it that way. Rock on, brother. You’re winning.
Yep I’m winning but it sure is difficult at times. For me it’s the relentless anxiety. At times it’s just living in a constant state of fear. Only time I don’t feel fear is the great escape called sleep. It usually settles down in the evening after dinner so I can fall asleep but within an hour of waking it’s fear all over again for most of the day. I don’t drink alcohol so I don’t have that to lean on and I definitely wouldn’t consider benzodiazepines because they are just plain nasty addictive so here we are white knuckles every day. If it weren’t for the anxiety or depression it wouldn’t be that bad. Yes one day at a time.
Day 73
Feel like I’m back at the beginning. Woke up at 4:00 am with tingling and anxiety. The depression and brain fog has set in as well. I guess this is what the funk feels like. If I sit or lay down I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. So here I am trying to keep moving. I think it’s called akathesia or twired. Crazy how much dip fucks us up. I actually felt good when I was dipping but going back is not an option ever again.
I’d rather not give my number out because I was a ninja dipper therefore I’m a ninja quitter. It could possibly destroy a marriage if it got out. I just need to get past this and put it in the rear view mirror. I do plan on sticking around though to help the new quitters as they show up.
I will not dip today!!!!!
-
Totally understand, I was ninja too. And to a large degree, so was Applejack.
It is amazing how much energy you used hiding this addiction while feeding it. Making excuses. Lying. Missing things with your wife or family so you could take long showers, spend 30 minutes sitting on the toilet enjoying trying to chase that rush that never came again, or driving around aimlessly for no reason. How about the effort to hide the little containers, or spit bottles? Applejack even built little custom hide-ey holes to stash tins. Lying is an exhausting business to be in.
The funk gets better. Today you are winning. You lost a lot of days in a row, it will take some time for the win to set in and for you to feel like you are winning, but you are.
We are here for you bro. One day at a time.
Michael
If you haven’t gotten some phone numbers to chat, you should. Fair warning, applejack is well known to share dick pics !
Just kidding! He’s a great dude that will do anything to help you. This is a lot easier as a team. Being down is ok by the way as long as you make it through the day. Tough times never last. Tough people do.
Day 72.
Thanks worktowin. Today so far it feels like my brain hurts. Depressed mood and feeling just weary
I don’t have much too add, bro. Everyone’s fight with their addict brain is different. For some, anger helps. For some, physical activity works. For some, a medication assist is appropriate. For some, white knuckling through is the way they choose. The list goes on. I think it’s safe to say that most of us dealt with “something” like what you’re going through when we first quit. So… you’re NOT alone. Nope. I lean into the anxiety side of the scale. Always have. I’m a naturally high string dude. Sometimes that gets the better of me and I have to remember to just freaking slow my roll. The other thing I have to remember is what I’m going to say to you right now… give yourself grace. You took that one pinch after 14 years. Yeah, that sucks ass. I would feel the same way! No lie. But… it’s done, man. It happened. Stop beating yourself up. Stop with that shit.
It. Is. Not. Productive.
You are here. You are turning it around. You are putting it back in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Lesson learned? I think so! Give yourself grace. Winning over an addiction is fucking hard. It’s supposed to be. Once through the fight this time… freedom will be that much sweeter for how hard this is right now. You will value it more and you will do everything you can to keep it that way. Rock on, brother. You’re winning.
Yep I’m winning but it sure is difficult at times. For me it’s the relentless anxiety. At times it’s just living in a constant state of fear. Only time I don’t feel fear is the great escape called sleep. It usually settles down in the evening after dinner so I can fall asleep but within an hour of waking it’s fear all over again for most of the day. I don’t drink alcohol so I don’t have that to lean on and I definitely wouldn’t consider benzodiazepines because they are just plain nasty addictive so here we are white knuckles every day. If it weren’t for the anxiety or depression it wouldn’t be that bad. Yes one day at a time.
Day 73
Feel like I’m back at the beginning. Woke up at 4:00 am with tingling and anxiety. The depression and brain fog has set in as well. I guess this is what the funk feels like. If I sit or lay down I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. So here I am trying to keep moving. I think it’s called akathesia or twired. Crazy how much dip fucks us up. I actually felt good when I was dipping but going back is not an option ever again.
I’d rather not give my number out because I was a ninja dipper therefore I’m a ninja quitter. It could possibly destroy a marriage if it got out. I just need to get past this and put it in the rear view mirror. I do plan on sticking around though to help the new quitters as they show up.
I will not dip today!!!!!
Thanks Michael for the encouragement. Yes you described me perfectly. I ninja dipped from 1991 to 2005. I actually started dipping in 84 but she knew about it and hated it. I stopped in 91 about a month before our spring time wedding. Zero withdrawal. I started dipping again that fall under the radar until 2005 and stopped. Then 4 years ago I took a pinch and you know the rest. I never even knew about withdrawal until a day or so after. Talk about being blindsided.
If anyone out there wants to share their experience with the funk it would be great to hear. It does give comfort knowing that it does end. BTW I have massive fog and some anxiety now.
-
Totally understand, I was ninja too. And to a large degree, so was Applejack.
It is amazing how much energy you used hiding this addiction while feeding it. Making excuses. Lying. Missing things with your wife or family so you could take long showers, spend 30 minutes sitting on the toilet enjoying trying to chase that rush that never came again, or driving around aimlessly for no reason. How about the effort to hide the little containers, or spit bottles? Applejack even built little custom hide-ey holes to stash tins. Lying is an exhausting business to be in.
The funk gets better. Today you are winning. You lost a lot of days in a row, it will take some time for the win to set in and for you to feel like you are winning, but you are.
We are here for you bro. One day at a time.
Michael
If you haven’t gotten some phone numbers to chat, you should. Fair warning, applejack is well known to share dick pics !
Just kidding! He’s a great dude that will do anything to help you. This is a lot easier as a team. Being down is ok by the way as long as you make it through the day. Tough times never last. Tough people do.
Day 72.
Thanks worktowin. Today so far it feels like my brain hurts. Depressed mood and feeling just weary
I don’t have much too add, bro. Everyone’s fight with their addict brain is different. For some, anger helps. For some, physical activity works. For some, a medication assist is appropriate. For some, white knuckling through is the way they choose. The list goes on. I think it’s safe to say that most of us dealt with “something” like what you’re going through when we first quit. So… you’re NOT alone. Nope. I lean into the anxiety side of the scale. Always have. I’m a naturally high string dude. Sometimes that gets the better of me and I have to remember to just freaking slow my roll. The other thing I have to remember is what I’m going to say to you right now… give yourself grace. You took that one pinch after 14 years. Yeah, that sucks ass. I would feel the same way! No lie. But… it’s done, man. It happened. Stop beating yourself up. Stop with that shit.
It. Is. Not. Productive.
You are here. You are turning it around. You are putting it back in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Lesson learned? I think so! Give yourself grace. Winning over an addiction is fucking hard. It’s supposed to be. Once through the fight this time… freedom will be that much sweeter for how hard this is right now. You will value it more and you will do everything you can to keep it that way. Rock on, brother. You’re winning.
Yep I’m winning but it sure is difficult at times. For me it’s the relentless anxiety. At times it’s just living in a constant state of fear. Only time I don’t feel fear is the great escape called sleep. It usually settles down in the evening after dinner so I can fall asleep but within an hour of waking it’s fear all over again for most of the day. I don’t drink alcohol so I don’t have that to lean on and I definitely wouldn’t consider benzodiazepines because they are just plain nasty addictive so here we are white knuckles every day. If it weren’t for the anxiety or depression it wouldn’t be that bad. Yes one day at a time.
Day 73
Feel like I’m back at the beginning. Woke up at 4:00 am with tingling and anxiety. The depression and brain fog has set in as well. I guess this is what the funk feels like. If I sit or lay down I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. So here I am trying to keep moving. I think it’s called akathesia or twired. Crazy how much dip fucks us up. I actually felt good when I was dipping but going back is not an option ever again.
I’d rather not give my number out because I was a ninja dipper therefore I’m a ninja quitter. It could possibly destroy a marriage if it got out. I just need to get past this and put it in the rear view mirror. I do plan on sticking around though to help the new quitters as they show up.
I will not dip today!!!!!
Thanks Michael for the encouragement. Yes you described me perfectly. I ninja dipped from 1991 to 2005. I actually started dipping in 84 but she knew about it and hated it. I stopped in 91 about a month before our spring time wedding. Zero withdrawal. I started dipping again that fall under the radar until 2005 and stopped. Then 4 years ago I took a pinch and you know the rest. I never even knew about withdrawal until a day or so after. Talk about being blindsided.
If anyone out there wants to share their experience with the funk it would be great to hear. It does give comfort knowing that it does end. BTW I have massive fog and some anxiety now.
I got nothing to add more more encouragement.
You’re doing ALL the right things and that will result in ALL the right things. Power on. Let the past be the past. Intentionally find things to celebrate. Do it. Rock on brother!
-
Totally understand, I was ninja too. And to a large degree, so was Applejack.
It is amazing how much energy you used hiding this addiction while feeding it. Making excuses. Lying. Missing things with your wife or family so you could take long showers, spend 30 minutes sitting on the toilet enjoying trying to chase that rush that never came again, or driving around aimlessly for no reason. How about the effort to hide the little containers, or spit bottles? Applejack even built little custom hide-ey holes to stash tins. Lying is an exhausting business to be in.
The funk gets better. Today you are winning. You lost a lot of days in a row, it will take some time for the win to set in and for you to feel like you are winning, but you are.
We are here for you bro. One day at a time.
Michael
If you haven’t gotten some phone numbers to chat, you should. Fair warning, applejack is well known to share dick pics !
Just kidding! He’s a great dude that will do anything to help you. This is a lot easier as a team. Being down is ok by the way as long as you make it through the day. Tough times never last. Tough people do.
Day 72.
Thanks worktowin. Today so far it feels like my brain hurts. Depressed mood and feeling just weary
I don’t have much too add, bro. Everyone’s fight with their addict brain is different. For some, anger helps. For some, physical activity works. For some, a medication assist is appropriate. For some, white knuckling through is the way they choose. The list goes on. I think it’s safe to say that most of us dealt with “something” like what you’re going through when we first quit. So… you’re NOT alone. Nope. I lean into the anxiety side of the scale. Always have. I’m a naturally high string dude. Sometimes that gets the better of me and I have to remember to just freaking slow my roll. The other thing I have to remember is what I’m going to say to you right now… give yourself grace. You took that one pinch after 14 years. Yeah, that sucks ass. I would feel the same way! No lie. But… it’s done, man. It happened. Stop beating yourself up. Stop with that shit.
It. Is. Not. Productive.
You are here. You are turning it around. You are putting it back in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Lesson learned? I think so! Give yourself grace. Winning over an addiction is fucking hard. It’s supposed to be. Once through the fight this time… freedom will be that much sweeter for how hard this is right now. You will value it more and you will do everything you can to keep it that way. Rock on, brother. You’re winning.
Yep I’m winning but it sure is difficult at times. For me it’s the relentless anxiety. At times it’s just living in a constant state of fear. Only time I don’t feel fear is the great escape called sleep. It usually settles down in the evening after dinner so I can fall asleep but within an hour of waking it’s fear all over again for most of the day. I don’t drink alcohol so I don’t have that to lean on and I definitely wouldn’t consider benzodiazepines because they are just plain nasty addictive so here we are white knuckles every day. If it weren’t for the anxiety or depression it wouldn’t be that bad. Yes one day at a time.
Day 73
Feel like I’m back at the beginning. Woke up at 4:00 am with tingling and anxiety. The depression and brain fog has set in as well. I guess this is what the funk feels like. If I sit or lay down I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. So here I am trying to keep moving. I think it’s called akathesia or twired. Crazy how much dip fucks us up. I actually felt good when I was dipping but going back is not an option ever again.
I’d rather not give my number out because I was a ninja dipper therefore I’m a ninja quitter. It could possibly destroy a marriage if it got out. I just need to get past this and put it in the rear view mirror. I do plan on sticking around though to help the new quitters as they show up.
I will not dip today!!!!!
Thanks Michael for the encouragement. Yes you described me perfectly. I ninja dipped from 1991 to 2005. I actually started dipping in 84 but she knew about it and hated it. I stopped in 91 about a month before our spring time wedding. Zero withdrawal. I started dipping again that fall under the radar until 2005 and stopped. Then 4 years ago I took a pinch and you know the rest. I never even knew about withdrawal until a day or so after. Talk about being blindsided.
If anyone out there wants to share their experience with the funk it would be great to hear. It does give comfort knowing that it does end. BTW I have massive fog and some anxiety now.
I got nothing to add more more encouragement.
You’re doing ALL the right things and that will result in ALL the right things. Power on. Let the past be the past. Intentionally find things to celebrate. Do it. Rock on brother!
Fog. I lost a good 2 months of my life. I lived, but have zero recollection of the living. Christmas 2012 and NY 2013 may not have even happened as far as I know. I have friends on the site (including AJ the dick pic sender (just kidding maybe?)) who experienced anxiety. Some severe. Nicotine seems to target high performing ocd types. People who live structured successful lives and manage things to an insane level. Nicotine provides an escape from the highs and the lows. Hell yes my team is winning! Throw in a dip! Oh man my mom is sick and in the hospital. Throw in a dip. In other words, nicotine provides an escape… from life. Think about that for a bit. And if a pic from AJ would help….
Michael.
-
Totally understand, I was ninja too. And to a large degree, so was Applejack.
It is amazing how much energy you used hiding this addiction while feeding it. Making excuses. Lying. Missing things with your wife or family so you could take long showers, spend 30 minutes sitting on the toilet enjoying trying to chase that rush that never came again, or driving around aimlessly for no reason. How about the effort to hide the little containers, or spit bottles? Applejack even built little custom hide-ey holes to stash tins. Lying is an exhausting business to be in.
The funk gets better. Today you are winning. You lost a lot of days in a row, it will take some time for the win to set in and for you to feel like you are winning, but you are.
We are here for you bro. One day at a time.
Michael
If you haven’t gotten some phone numbers to chat, you should. Fair warning, applejack is well known to share dick pics !
Just kidding! He’s a great dude that will do anything to help you. This is a lot easier as a team. Being down is ok by the way as long as you make it through the day. Tough times never last. Tough people do.
Day 72.
Thanks worktowin. Today so far it feels like my brain hurts. Depressed mood and feeling just weary
I don’t have much too add, bro. Everyone’s fight with their addict brain is different. For some, anger helps. For some, physical activity works. For some, a medication assist is appropriate. For some, white knuckling through is the way they choose. The list goes on. I think it’s safe to say that most of us dealt with “something” like what you’re going through when we first quit. So… you’re NOT alone. Nope. I lean into the anxiety side of the scale. Always have. I’m a naturally high string dude. Sometimes that gets the better of me and I have to remember to just freaking slow my roll. The other thing I have to remember is what I’m going to say to you right now… give yourself grace. You took that one pinch after 14 years. Yeah, that sucks ass. I would feel the same way! No lie. But… it’s done, man. It happened. Stop beating yourself up. Stop with that shit.
It. Is. Not. Productive.
You are here. You are turning it around. You are putting it back in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Lesson learned? I think so! Give yourself grace. Winning over an addiction is fucking hard. It’s supposed to be. Once through the fight this time… freedom will be that much sweeter for how hard this is right now. You will value it more and you will do everything you can to keep it that way. Rock on, brother. You’re winning.
Yep I’m winning but it sure is difficult at times. For me it’s the relentless anxiety. At times it’s just living in a constant state of fear. Only time I don’t feel fear is the great escape called sleep. It usually settles down in the evening after dinner so I can fall asleep but within an hour of waking it’s fear all over again for most of the day. I don’t drink alcohol so I don’t have that to lean on and I definitely wouldn’t consider benzodiazepines because they are just plain nasty addictive so here we are white knuckles every day. If it weren’t for the anxiety or depression it wouldn’t be that bad. Yes one day at a time.
Day 73
Feel like I’m back at the beginning. Woke up at 4:00 am with tingling and anxiety. The depression and brain fog has set in as well. I guess this is what the funk feels like. If I sit or lay down I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. So here I am trying to keep moving. I think it’s called akathesia or twired. Crazy how much dip fucks us up. I actually felt good when I was dipping but going back is not an option ever again.
I’d rather not give my number out because I was a ninja dipper therefore I’m a ninja quitter. It could possibly destroy a marriage if it got out. I just need to get past this and put it in the rear view mirror. I do plan on sticking around though to help the new quitters as they show up.
I will not dip today!!!!!
Thanks Michael for the encouragement. Yes you described me perfectly. I ninja dipped from 1991 to 2005. I actually started dipping in 84 but she knew about it and hated it. I stopped in 91 about a month before our spring time wedding. Zero withdrawal. I started dipping again that fall under the radar until 2005 and stopped. Then 4 years ago I took a pinch and you know the rest. I never even knew about withdrawal until a day or so after. Talk about being blindsided.
If anyone out there wants to share their experience with the funk it would be great to hear. It does give comfort knowing that it does end. BTW I have massive fog and some anxiety now.
I got nothing to add more more encouragement.
You’re doing ALL the right things and that will result in ALL the right things. Power on. Let the past be the past. Intentionally find things to celebrate. Do it. Rock on brother!
Fog. I lost a good 2 months of my life. I lived, but have zero recollection of the living. Christmas 2012 and NY 2013 may not have even happened as far as I know. I have friends on the site (including AJ the dick pic sender (just kidding maybe?)) who experienced anxiety. Some severe. Nicotine seems to target high performing ocd types. People who live structured successful lives and manage things to an insane level. Nicotine provides an escape from the highs and the lows. Hell yes my team is winning! Throw in a dip! Oh man my mom is sick and in the hospital. Throw in a dip. In other words, nicotine provides an escape… from life. Think about that for a bit. And if a pic from AJ would help….
Michael.
Booooo. No dick pics accepted here.
-
Day 74. Woke up to fear today. Nothing to be afraid of but my brain is firing fear. Hell of a way to start the day. Quitting is a mind fuck. One thing I don’t fear is that I know I will never dip again. I promise myself that the devils dirt will never go in my lip again.
-
Day 74. Woke up to fear today. Nothing to be afraid of but my brain is firing fear. Hell of a way to start the day. Quitting is a mind fuck. One thing I don’t fear is that I know I will never dip again. I promise myself that the devils dirt will never go in my lip again.
I make that promise with you, not for forever, but for TODAY. The 24 hours we've been given are all that we can control. Focus one day at a time.
-
Day 74. Woke up to fear today. Nothing to be afraid of but my brain is firing fear. Hell of a way to start the day. Quitting is a mind fuck. One thing I don’t fear is that I know I will never dip again. I promise myself that the devils dirt will never go in my lip again.
I make that promise with you, not for forever, but for TODAY. The 24 hours we've been given are all that we can control. Focus one day at a time.
I promise not to dip today.
-
Day 74. Woke up to fear today. Nothing to be afraid of but my brain is firing fear. Hell of a way to start the day. Quitting is a mind fuck. One thing I don’t fear is that I know I will never dip again. I promise myself that the devils dirt will never go in my lip again.
I make that promise with you, not for forever, but for TODAY. The 24 hours we've been given are all that we can control. Focus one day at a time.
I promise not to dip today.
With ya today, bro
-
Day 74. Woke up to fear today. Nothing to be afraid of but my brain is firing fear. Hell of a way to start the day. Quitting is a mind fuck. One thing I don’t fear is that I know I will never dip again. I promise myself that the devils dirt will never go in my lip again.
I make that promise with you, not for forever, but for TODAY. The 24 hours we've been given are all that we can control. Focus one day at a time.
I promise not to dip today.
With ya today, bro
Thank you.
-
Day 74. Woke up to fear today. Nothing to be afraid of but my brain is firing fear. Hell of a way to start the day. Quitting is a mind fuck. One thing I don’t fear is that I know I will never dip again. I promise myself that the devils dirt will never go in my lip again.
I make that promise with you, not for forever, but for TODAY. The 24 hours we've been given are all that we can control. Focus one day at a time.
I promise not to dip today.
With ya today, bro
Thank you.
Honored to quit with you today sir.
-
Day 75. Groundhog Day here again. Fear (anxiety) is the symptom of the day. Never had anxiety while I was dipping. Don’t know why quitting dip causes anxiety but I guess it does. What I do know though is that I won’t dip today.
-
Day 75. Groundhog Day here again. Fear (anxiety) is the symptom of the day. Never had anxiety while I was dipping. Don’t know why quitting dip causes anxiety but I guess it does. What I do know though is that I won’t dip today.
With you for the next 24 sir. MN/2,679
-
Day 75. Groundhog Day here again. Fear (anxiety) is the symptom of the day. Never had anxiety while I was dipping. Don’t know why quitting dip causes anxiety but I guess it does. What I do know though is that I won’t dip today.
With you for the next 24 sir. MN/2,679
Rock on, brother
-
Day 76.
Still in the funk. Depression,apathy and a really bad headache
-
Day 76.
Still in the funk. Depression,apathy and a really bad headache
MN/2,680 one day at a time. with you today sir.
-
Day 76.
Still in the funk. Depression,apathy and a really bad headache
MN/2,680 one day at a time. with you today sir.
Yup... fight the good fight m'man!
-
Glad you guys are here with me. No dipping today.
-
Day 77.
Still in the funk. Based on my last stops I never could have imagined the mind fuck nicotine withdrawal can cause. When I woke up my arms, hands and legs were tingling like crazy and my mind racing. This funk has been going on now for 12 days. Last night I had bad fog and anxiety. My brain was screaming for nicotine but I wasn’t listening. I have no idea how long this shit will go on but I have no desire to cave because I vividly remember my last stop that lasted 14 years. I felt great. I enjoyed life, I looked forward to things, I spent time with my family rather hiding from them or making excuses so I could ninja dip. Fuck nicotine!!!!! I will not dip today.
-
Day 77.
Still in the funk. Based on my last stops I never could have imagined the mind fuck nicotine withdrawal can cause. When I woke up my arms, hands and legs were tingling like crazy and my mind racing. This funk has been going on now for 12 days. Last night I had bad fog and anxiety. My brain was screaming for nicotine but I wasn’t listening. I have no idea how long this shit will go on but I have no desire to cave because I vividly remember my last stop that lasted 14 years. I felt great. I enjoyed life, I looked forward to things, I spent time with my family rather hiding from them or making excuses so I could ninja dip. Fuck nicotine!!!!! I will not dip today.
Man, you are IN it! All the advice you need has been given out. I don't have much more to offer up either. I wish there was a legit timeline that we could offer up but every quitter is different. It will pass, brother. It will. You're in your own head about it all and anxiety of this type can be a self fulfilling thing. You kind of feed the demon, so to speak. Keep in front of your mind that your body is 100% free of nicotine. It literally has no physical hold on you! Keep busy and listing and celebrating these +1 days. That IS important. You ARE winning. Period!
-
Day 77.
Still in the funk. Based on my last stops I never could have imagined the mind fuck nicotine withdrawal can cause. When I woke up my arms, hands and legs were tingling like crazy and my mind racing. This funk has been going on now for 12 days. Last night I had bad fog and anxiety. My brain was screaming for nicotine but I wasn’t listening. I have no idea how long this shit will go on but I have no desire to cave because I vividly remember my last stop that lasted 14 years. I felt great. I enjoyed life, I looked forward to things, I spent time with my family rather hiding from them or making excuses so I could ninja dip. Fuck nicotine!!!!! I will not dip today.
Man, you are IN it! All the advice you need has been given out. I don't have much more to offer up either. I wish there was a legit timeline that we could offer up but every quitter is different. It will pass, brother. It will. You're in your own head about it all and anxiety of this type can be a self fulfilling thing. You kind of feed the demon, so to speak. Keep in front of your mind that your body is 100% free of nicotine. It literally has no physical hold on you! Keep busy and listing and celebrating these +1 days. That IS important. You ARE winning. Period!
MN/2,681 with you TODAY sir.
-
Day 78
No dip today.
-
Day 78
No dip today.
MN/2,682 I give you my word today.
-
Day 78
No dip today.
MN/2,682 I give you my word today.
Day 3,900, and no way no how today for me. Honored to quit with you sir.
-
Day 78
No dip today.
MN/2,682 I give you my word today.
Day 3,900, and no way no how today for me. Honored to quit with you sir.
Congrats on 39th floor sir!! 'Bow'
-
Day 79.
No dip today is my promise.
-
Day 79.
No dip today is my promise.
MN/2,683 - with you today sir.
-
Day 79.
No dip today is my promise.
MN/2,683 - with you today sir.
3,901. Dude the days are starting to stack up. How are you doing???
-
Day 79.
No dip today is my promise.
MN/2,683 - with you today sir.
3,901. Dude the days are starting to stack up. How are you doing???
im doing better today. Yesterday I had a bad wave of anxiety but today it’s bout 4 on a scale of 10. Hopefully I’m coming out of the funk.
Thanks for asking. ODAAT.
-
Day 79.
No dip today is my promise.
MN/2,683 - with you today sir.
3,901. Dude the days are starting to stack up. How are you doing???
im doing better today. Yesterday I had a bad wave of anxiety but today it’s bout 4 on a scale of 10. Hopefully I’m coming out of the funk.
Thanks for asking. ODAAT.
That’s amazing. Remember the weight of the good days and remember that they DO happen! Rock it, brother!
-
Day 80.
20 more to the HOF. Today I promise that I will not dip. Thanks for being with me Applejack, Mn engineer and Worktowin.
-
Day 80.
20 more to the HOF. Today I promise that I will not dip. Thanks for being with me Applejack, Mn engineer and Worktowin.
Quit with you today 1791 ODAAT
-
Today is day 80. Symptoms are pretty bad today. Head pressure with anxiety and brain fog. We can only take it one day at a time but today sucks.
-
Today is day 80. Symptoms are pretty bad today. Head pressure with anxiety and brain fog. We can only take it one day at a time but today sucks.
MN/2,684 - with you today. Break it down into manageable chunks. Take things hour by hour if you need to.
-
Here we are, day 81
No improvement, still in the funk. One thing I do know is that today I promise myself that I will not dip.
-
Here we are, day 81
No improvement, still in the funk. One thing I do know is that today I promise myself that I will not dip.
Keith0617 1792 ODAAT
-
Here we are, day 81
No improvement, still in the funk. One thing I do know is that today I promise myself that I will not dip.
Keith0617 1792 ODAAT
Keep your head up, brother.
-
Here we are, day 81
No improvement, still in the funk. One thing I do know is that today I promise myself that I will not dip.
Keith0617 1792 ODAAT
Keep your head up, brother.
MN/2,685 with you TODAY
-
I know it doesn’t matter anymore but had I never took that dip 4 years ago I would have made the 65th floor a couple days ago. Stupid me.
-
I know it doesn’t matter anymore but had I never took that dip 4 years ago I would have made the 65th floor a couple days ago. Stupid me.
It does matter because it serves two purposes:
1.) It provides perspective for yourself and will hopefully be motivation you can use along this your first and final quit.
2.) It is a stark reminder for the rest of us to never get complacent and there is no such thing as "just one".
-
Day 82 I will not dip today.
Feeling pretty flat and emotionless. No joy or interest in anything. I think it’s calling anhedonia or apathy. Nicotine is pure evil. Anyway ODAAT.
BTW my clueless doctor said that it’s impossible for nicotine withdrawal to last more than 3 to 4 weeks. He was trying to convince me to go on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds. I told him to get on this site and do some reading but he declined. Clueless!!!!
-
Day 82 I will not dip today.
Feeling pretty flat and emotionless. No joy or interest in anything. I think it’s calling anhedonia or apathy. Nicotine is pure evil. Anyway ODAAT.
BTW my clueless doctor said that it’s impossible for nicotine withdrawal to last more than 3 to 4 weeks. He was trying to convince me to go on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds. I told him to get on this site and do some reading but he declined. Clueless!!!!
MN/2,686 with you today
Maybe the medical textbooks teach that but in reality it certainly seems like most people that join here prove it wrong. Perhaps they are referring to the physical withdrawal as the mental games/brain rewiring can take much, much longer.
-
Day 82 I will not dip today.
Feeling pretty flat and emotionless. No joy or interest in anything. I think it’s calling anhedonia or apathy. Nicotine is pure evil. Anyway ODAAT.
BTW my clueless doctor said that it’s impossible for nicotine withdrawal to last more than 3 to 4 weeks. He was trying to convince me to go on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds. I told him to get on this site and do some reading but he declined. Clueless!!!!
MN/2,686 with you today
Maybe the medical textbooks teach that but in reality it certainly seems like most people that join here prove it wrong. Perhaps they are referring to the physical withdrawal as the mental games/brain rewiring can take much, much longer.
He was referring to the whole experience. Said it was impossible to be depressed and anxious beyond a few weeks. That’s why he was trying to push pills on me and of course the real reason he was pushing pills is $$$$$$. I told him that I will be back in a few months feeling fine.
You guys have a great day and soon I will be joining you veterans as my recovery progresses. Glad
being quit with you fellas.
-
Day 82 I will not dip today.
Feeling pretty flat and emotionless. No joy or interest in anything. I think it’s calling anhedonia or apathy. Nicotine is pure evil. Anyway ODAAT.
BTW my clueless doctor said that it’s impossible for nicotine withdrawal to last more than 3 to 4 weeks. He was trying to convince me to go on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds. I told him to get on this site and do some reading but he declined. Clueless!!!!
MN/2,686 with you today
Maybe the medical textbooks teach that but in reality it certainly seems like most people that join here prove it wrong. Perhaps they are referring to the physical withdrawal as the mental games/brain rewiring can take much, much longer.
He was referring to the whole experience. Said it was impossible to be depressed and anxious beyond a few weeks. That’s why he was trying to push pills on me and of course the real reason he was pushing pills is $$$$$$. I told him that I will be back in a few months feeling fine.
You guys have a great day and soon I will be joining you veterans as my recovery progresses. Glad
being quit with you fellas.
When you look at it from a certain perspective… dealing with what you’re dealing with really does NOT make sense. Nicotine is gone from your blood in 72 hrs. Tops.
That’s it.
A quick search of how long withdrawal symptoms last immediately pops up a range of answers. Bottom line? Several days to several weeks. So, yeah, your doc can piss right off. It’s different for everyone. I get what you’re saying about a drug. I do. Being a high strung individual myself, I’ve skirted that issue for years. Personally, I’d rather fix or change my thinking than numb it out. It’s a healthier long term solution… not a masking of the underlying problem. BUT there’s not one damn thing wrong with using an assist to get you over a hurdle. Hell, we pop an ibuprofen to lessen a headache or some aches and pains, right? Approached correctly, a med is a help if used for a purpose. Anyway… enough of that.
I got to know my enemy, nicotine, early in my quit. You NEED to know what you’re fighting and why it’s so fucking hard at times. A few things really stood out to me and helped me to not feel like a wuss for needing to fight so hard sometimes.
1… drop for drop, nicotine is as addictive as heroin.
2… nicotine is as, or more, toxic than arsenic or cyanide.
3… nicotine was used as a pesticide decades ago but was deemed too harmful to wildlife so they stopped using it but… still deemed it ok to ingest by us poor fools. Fuckers.
Anyway… I’m rambling. Your enemy is potent. But you’re here and you’re winning. Rock the day, man.
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Thanks AJ. Good words. Happy to be quit with you.
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Day 83.
I will not dip today and that is my promise to myself.
So far I feel ok this morning. I have plenty of projects outside to keep me busy today so dipping will be the furthest thought from the front of my mind. It’s going to be hot
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Day 83.
I will not dip today and that is my promise to myself.
So far I feel ok this morning. I have plenty of projects outside to keep me busy today so dipping will be the furthest thought from the front of my mind. It’s going to be hot
MN/2,687 - I promise to myself and everyone in the KTC community that no nic will touch this lip.
Where abouts your from? It's supposed to be damn near 100 here in MN starting today through Monday. I can't wait for fall and temps in the mid 60's.
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Also in Minnesota. Cloquet
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Also in Minnesota. Cloquet
oh nice! beautiful spot. I'm down in the northern metro; don't get up that way as much as we'd like but certainly one of the best areas in the state!
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Thank you.
Lived here all my life. I love the area. We got a hunting shack up near the iron range and we like to hit the big pond for lake trout. Take care and happy to be quit with you.
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Day 84.
Felt ok last night after supper. Mind was calm and even enjoyed listening to some music while I relaxed. Hopefully it lasts. Going to head to the shooting range this morning and go through a few boxes of ammo. Shooting relaxes me.
I will not dip today. And that is my promise.
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Day 84.
Felt ok last night after supper. Mind was calm and even enjoyed listening to some music while I relaxed. Hopefully it lasts. Going to head to the shooting range this morning and go through a few boxes of ammo. Shooting relaxes me.
I will not dip today. And that is my promise.
MN/2,688 with you TODAY.
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Day 84.
Felt ok last night after supper. Mind was calm and even enjoyed listening to some music while I relaxed. Hopefully it lasts. Going to head to the shooting range this morning and go through a few boxes of ammo. Shooting relaxes me.
I will not dip today. And that is my promise.
MN/2,688 with you TODAY.
Worktowin 3,906. Glad I’m standing beside you while quitting and not in front of you while you blast holes in targets!!
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MN/2,689 you have my word today that no nicotine will enter my body.
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Day 85.
Actually feeling pretty good today. Mood is fine etc. going up the north shore of Lake Superior today to beat the heat. My home thermometer hit 101 degrees yesterday. Officially it was 97. Booo.
I promise myself and the world that I will not dip today. Happy to be quit with you all. BTW I went through a few hundred 9mm and 5.56 rounds yesterday. It was a blast
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Day 85.
Actually feeling pretty good today. Mood is fine etc. going up the north shore of Lake Superior today to beat the heat. My home thermometer hit 101 degrees yesterday. Officially it was 97. Booo.
I promise myself and the world that I will not dip today. Happy to be quit with you all. BTW I went through a few hundred 9mm and 5.56 rounds yesterday. It was a blast
Most excellent! These kind of days are the ones to run with! Enjoy the peace of mind and tell yourself... this is the road to your new normal. These days CAN happen and WILL be the norm. Rock the day, brother!
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Day 85.
Actually feeling pretty good today. Mood is fine etc. going up the north shore of Lake Superior today to beat the heat. My home thermometer hit 101 degrees yesterday. Officially it was 97. Booo.
I promise myself and the world that I will not dip today. Happy to be quit with you all. BTW I went through a few hundred 9mm and 5.56 rounds yesterday. It was a blast
Most excellent! These kind of days are the ones to run with! Enjoy the peace of mind and tell yourself... this is the road to your new normal. These days CAN happen and WILL be the norm. Rock the day, brother!
Thanks AJ.
Day 86
Feeling ok again today, I believe I made it Past the funk. We can only take it one day at a time. I promise that I will not dip today.
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MN/2,690 with you again TODAY
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Day 87
A rainy day today but we need the rain.
My promise to me. I will definitely not dip today.
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Day 87
A rainy day today but we need the rain.
My promise to me. I will definitely not dip today.
MN/2,691 you have my word today.
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Day 87
A rainy day today but we need the rain.
My promise to me. I will definitely not dip today.
MN/2,691 you have my word today.
1798 ODAAT
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Day 87
A rainy day today but we need the rain.
My promise to me. I will definitely not dip today.
MN/2,691 you have my word today.
1798 ODAAT
3,910. Man we could sure use the rain too. Its been almost 30 days without a drop here. That being said, hell no to nicotine for me too.
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MN/2,692 with you today. None for me.
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Day 88
No dip here today and that’s my word.
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Day 88
No dip here today and that’s my word.
How’s the ride been these past few days, bro?
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Day 88
No dip here today and that’s my word.
How’s the ride been these past few days, bro?
not to bad. I haven’t had any anxiety for about a week now and my emotions and energy are fine. I really turned a corner last week. I hope it lasts. I have had a few cravings but they usually don’t last long. I find that coffee helps with that. Thanks for asking bro.
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Day 89
Closing in on the big 100. Zero dip for me today. TGIF. Heading up to the hunting shack tomorrow. Get it cleaned up for fall.
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Day 89
Closing in on the big 100. Zero dip for me today. TGIF. Heading up to the hunting shack tomorrow. Get it cleaned up for fall.
1800 ODAAT
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Day 89
Closing in on the big 100. Zero dip for me today. TGIF. Heading up to the hunting shack tomorrow. Get it cleaned up for fall.
1800 ODAAT
MN/2,693 - quit with you today
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Day 89
No dip will touch my lip today. I feel fine this morning with just a slight headache. Heading up to the shack (cabin) today and I will not have any dip with me.
ODAAT.
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Day 89
No dip will touch my lip today. I feel fine this morning with just a slight headache. Heading up to the shack (cabin) today and I will not have any dip with me.
ODAAT.
1801 ODAAT
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Day 89
No dip will touch my lip today. I feel fine this morning with just a slight headache. Heading up to the shack (cabin) today and I will not have any dip with me.
ODAAT.
1801 ODAAT
MN/2,694 with you today sir
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Day 89
No dip will touch my lip today. I feel fine this morning with just a slight headache. Heading up to the shack (cabin) today and I will not have any dip with me.
ODAAT.
1801 ODAAT
MN/2,694 with you today sir
Rock the day bro!
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Oops. Today is day 91. I just realized that I posted day 89 two days in a row. Today will be a dip less day and that is my promise. Happy to be quit with you guys. Woke up about 6:00 AM with a little background anxiety but it’s gone now. Looking forward for the day.
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Oops. Today is day 91. I just realized that I posted day 89 two days in a row. Today will be a dip less day and that is my promise. Happy to be quit with you guys. Woke up about 6:00 AM with a little background anxiety but it’s gone now. Looking forward for the day.
Each day, putting that in the rear view, just gets better and better!
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Oops. Today is day 91. I just realized that I posted day 89 two days in a row. Today will be a dip less day and that is my promise. Happy to be quit with you guys. Woke up about 6:00 AM with a little background anxiety but it’s gone now. Looking forward for the day.
Each day, putting that in the rear view, just gets better and better!
MN/2,695 quit for the next 24 with you
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Oops. Today is day 91. I just realized that I posted day 89 two days in a row. Today will be a dip less day and that is my promise. Happy to be quit with you guys. Woke up about 6:00 AM with a little background anxiety but it’s gone now. Looking forward for the day.
Each day, putting that in the rear view, just gets better and better!
MN/2,695 quit for the next 24 with you
1802 ODAAT
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Day 92 and no dip will hit this lip today. Life is returning ODAAT.
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Day 92 and no dip will hit this lip today. Life is returning ODAAT.
Good shiz, man. Keep it rolling and I’ll quit with ya!
AJ… 3,800
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Day 92 and no dip will hit this lip today. Life is returning ODAAT.
Good shiz, man. Keep it rolling and I’ll quit with ya!
AJ… 3,800
MN/2,696 with you. Congrats AJ on 38th floor!
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Day 92 and no dip will hit this lip today. Life is returning ODAAT.
Good shiz, man. Keep it rolling and I’ll quit with ya!
AJ… 3,800
MN/2,696 with you. Congrats AJ on 38th floor!
Congrats AJ.
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Day 92 and no dip will hit this lip today. Life is returning ODAAT.
Good shiz, man. Keep it rolling and I’ll quit with ya!
AJ… 3,800
MN/2,696 with you. Congrats AJ on 38th floor!
Congrats AJ.
1803 ODAAT - congrats @AppleJack (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=710) on 38
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Day 92 and no dip will hit this lip today. Life is returning ODAAT.
Good shiz, man. Keep it rolling and I’ll quit with ya!
AJ… 3,800
MN/2,696 with you. Congrats AJ on 38th floor!
Congrats AJ.
1803 ODAAT - congrats @AppleJack (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=710) on 38
3,914. Lotta days stacking up in here.
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Day 93
Getting closer. Feeling much better overall but still a little flat but at least no anxiety for about a week and a half. I’ll take it. I will not dip today.
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Day 93
Getting closer. Feeling much better overall but still a little flat but at least no anxiety for about a week and a half. I’ll take it. I will not dip today.
Dude, this makes me so happy to hear. Keep pushing along, one day at a time. Proud to be quit with you today! MN/2,697
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Day 93
Getting closer. Feeling much better overall but still a little flat but at least no anxiety for about a week and a half. I’ll take it. I will not dip today.
Dude, this makes me so happy to hear. Keep pushing along, one day at a time. Proud to be quit with you today! MN/2,697
1804 ODAAT. Everyday the light gets a little brighter and the end of the tunnel.
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Day 94.
Feeling fine and no dip today. That’s my promise to me.
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Day 94.
Feeling fine and no dip today. That’s my promise to me.
Perfect. It’s all about you… it’s all for you. You quit for you. Nobody else. With ya today bro!
AJ… 3,802
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Day 94.
Feeling fine and no dip today. That’s my promise to me.
Perfect. It’s all about you… it’s all for you. You quit for you. Nobody else. With ya today bro!
AJ… 3,802
just don't forget, AJ will share pix!
worktowin 3,916. with ya bro
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Day 94.
Feeling fine and no dip today. That’s my promise to me.
Perfect. It’s all about you… it’s all for you. You quit for you. Nobody else. With ya today bro!
AJ… 3,802
just don't forget, AJ will share pix!
worktowin 3,916. with ya bro
MN/2,698 with you today
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Day 94.
Feeling fine and no dip today. That’s my promise to me.
Perfect. It’s all about you… it’s all for you. You quit for you. Nobody else. With ya today bro!
AJ… 3,802
just don't forget, AJ will share pix!
worktowin 3,916. with ya bro
MN/2,698 with you today
1805 ODAAT
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Hi man. You’ve been at this chit (see what I did there) for a while and are starting to see some great results. There’s so much frustration along the way, so wanted to share a little perspective with you.
I work with a dude that smokes what seems like a lot. He stands out in the rain. Alone. With this ghey little umbrella getting his fix. Or in the snow. All alone. Freezing with a hat and gloves on puffing away like some crack addict.
I’ve asked him how much he smokes. He says half a pack a day. I think it’s really a whole pack. Anyway it’s obvious that he can’t go long without the nicotine and his whole life revolves around it.
Well, my little tin of Kodiak had the same amount of nicotine as THREE PACKS of smokes. Think about that. It’s no wonder the struggle is so hard bro. But… it is so worth it. What is ahead is a freedom from the hiding. The lies. The withdrawals. The scramble to buy more when you accidentally run out. I promise you. Better days are ahead.
Keep the faith. It’s an honor to quit with you.
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MN/2,699 - with you today
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MN/2,699 - with you today
1806 ODAAT
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Day 95. No dip for this Dipchit today. That is my promise to me.
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Day 96.
Almost there but I have to make this journey IDAAT.
Yes Worktowin it is such a nice feeling not being a slave to nicotine. It fucks with every part of our lives. The hiding and sneaking around almost like having an affair with another woman but trust me, I have never done that. I do feel the life coming back to me and I’m enjoying things again. Fuck nicotine!!!!!
I will not dip today.
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Day 96.
Almost there but I have to make this journey IDAAT.
Yes Worktowin it is such a nice feeling not being a slave to nicotine. It fucks with every part of our lives. The hiding and sneaking around almost like having an affair with another woman but trust me, I have never done that. I do feel the life coming back to me and I’m enjoying things again. Fuck nicotine!!!!!
I will not dip today.
2,700 days of making a promise and keeping my word; 2,700 days of freedom. With you today!
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Day 96.
Almost there but I have to make this journey IDAAT.
Yes Worktowin it is such a nice feeling not being a slave to nicotine. It fucks with every part of our lives. The hiding and sneaking around almost like having an affair with another woman but trust me, I have never done that. I do feel the life coming back to me and I’m enjoying things again. Fuck nicotine!!!!!
I will not dip today.
2,700 days of making a promise and keeping my word; 2,700 days of freedom. With you today!
Bitchin’ # MN! Dig it brother!
Following suit and posting up 3,804 with you quitters…
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Day 96.
Almost there but I have to make this journey IDAAT.
Yes Worktowin it is such a nice feeling not being a slave to nicotine. It fucks with every part of our lives. The hiding and sneaking around almost like having an affair with another woman but trust me, I have never done that. I do feel the life coming back to me and I’m enjoying things again. Fuck nicotine!!!!!
I will not dip today.
2,700 days of making a promise and keeping my word; 2,700 days of freedom. With you today!
Bitchin’ # MN! Dig it brother!
Following suit and posting up 3,804 with you quitters…
1807 ODAAT. Freaking awesome accomplishment @MN_Engineer (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=21) Congrats
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Day 96.
Almost there but I have to make this journey IDAAT.
Yes Worktowin it is such a nice feeling not being a slave to nicotine. It fucks with every part of our lives. The hiding and sneaking around almost like having an affair with another woman but trust me, I have never done that. I do feel the life coming back to me and I’m enjoying things again. Fuck nicotine!!!!!
I will not dip today.
2,700 days of making a promise and keeping my word; 2,700 days of freedom. With you today!
Bitchin’ # MN! Dig it brother!
Following suit and posting up 3,804 with you quitters…
1807 ODAAT. Freaking awesome accomplishment @MN_Engineer (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=21) Congrats
Those are all some pretty big numbers there guys. Congrats to all of you and thanks for being quit with me.
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1808 ODAAT. Where are you @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) ? We post first thing so we know our quit is protected.
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1808 ODAAT. Where are you @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) ? We post first thing so we know our quit is protected.
Here I am. Day 97
Got disconnected with some family biz.
Feeling good and no dip for my lip today.
That is my promise.
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Day 98.
No dip for my lip today. That’s my promise. Actually feeling a little depression today. Hopefully not another funk coming on. Guess I will just take it one hour at a time for now.
As soon as the grass dries I’m going to go mow it. Hopefully that will be the last time for the year. Maybe that will help my mood.
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Day 98.
No dip for my lip today. That’s my promise. Actually feeling a little depression today. Hopefully not another funk coming on. Guess I will just take it one hour at a time for now.
As soon as the grass dries I’m going to go mow it. Hopefully that will be the last time for the year. Maybe that will help my mood.
MN/2,702 - with you today. mowing grass is super therapeutic for me. hope that helps!
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Day 98.
No dip for my lip today. That’s my promise. Actually feeling a little depression today. Hopefully not another funk coming on. Guess I will just take it one hour at a time for now.
As soon as the grass dries I’m going to go mow it. Hopefully that will be the last time for the year. Maybe that will help my mood.
MN/2,702 - with you today. mowing grass is super therapeutic for me. hope that helps!
Man I’m jealous of the last mowing! I mow up into late November. Mostly to pick up a few leaves here and there any because I’m neurotic. Proud to quit with you bro. Almost at 100!!
3,920
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Day 99
It’s Monday. No dip today and that is my promise. Feeling a little flat but it’s better than dipping.
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Day 99
It’s Monday. No dip today and that is my promise. Feeling a little flat but it’s better than dipping.
MN/2,703 with you today sir
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Day 99
It’s Monday. No dip today and that is my promise. Feeling a little flat but it’s better than dipping.
MN/2,703 with you today sir
worktowin 3,921. Holy chit! Look at that number bro! 99!
Have you added up how much money you've saved so far by the way? Your mouth should be feeling a lot better also, I remember those days when my lip felt like sandpaper - you should have some good healing going on! What an honor it is to quit with you and the other winners in your support circle.
Tomorrow is a big day, the first HUGE milestone on a road to recovery, but don't underestimate the journey you've been on. You should be damn proud.
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Day 99
It’s Monday. No dip today and that is my promise. Feeling a little flat but it’s better than dipping.
MN/2,703 with you today sir
worktowin 3,921. Holy chit! Look at that number bro! 99!
Have you added up how much money you've saved so far by the way? Your mouth should be feeling a lot better also, I remember those days when my lip felt like sandpaper - you should have some good healing going on! What an honor it is to quit with you and the other winners in your support circle.
Tomorrow is a big day, the first HUGE milestone on a road to recovery, but don't underestimate the journey you've been on. You should be damn proud.
Keith0617 1810 ODAAT
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Day 99
It’s Monday. No dip today and that is my promise. Feeling a little flat but it’s better than dipping.
MN/2,703 with you today sir
worktowin 3,921. Holy chit! Look at that number bro! 99!
Have you added up how much money you've saved so far by the way? Your mouth should be feeling a lot better also, I remember those days when my lip felt like sandpaper - you should have some good healing going on! What an honor it is to quit with you and the other winners in your support circle.
Tomorrow is a big day, the first HUGE milestone on a road to recovery, but don't underestimate the journey you've been on. You should be damn proud.
I am really happy that I have been quit now for 99 days but I also feel like shit today. I had about 2 weeks of feeling fairly good. No anxiety or depression at all. I thought I was in the clear. Wrong!
The apathy, brain fog, anxiety and depression is back and it sucks. Never in my wildest imagination did I think withdrawal would last this long. Guess I was wrong. Well here we go again, just grit the teeth and move forward.
ODAAT.
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Day 99
It’s Monday. No dip today and that is my promise. Feeling a little flat but it’s better than dipping.
MN/2,703 with you today sir
worktowin 3,921. Holy chit! Look at that number bro! 99!
Have you added up how much money you've saved so far by the way? Your mouth should be feeling a lot better also, I remember those days when my lip felt like sandpaper - you should have some good healing going on! What an honor it is to quit with you and the other winners in your support circle.
Tomorrow is a big day, the first HUGE milestone on a road to recovery, but don't underestimate the journey you've been on. You should be damn proud.
I am really happy that I have been quit now for 99 days but I also feel like shit today. I had about 2 weeks of feeling fairly good. No anxiety or depression at all. I thought I was in the clear. Wrong!
The apathy, brain fog, anxiety and depression is back and it sucks. Never in my wildest imagination did I think withdrawal would last this long. Guess I was wrong. Well here we go again, just grit the teeth and move forward.
ODAAT.
I have saved about $350 bucks since I quit.
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Keith0617 1811 ODAAT
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Day 100
Well here we are on day 100. It feels good to have triple digits under my belt. I guess I wish I had more to say but I’m back in the funk(wave)and i literally feel horrible this morning. But I know that this too shall pass and all the pain and suffering will go away and life will return to normal again. A new normal that is. I have dipped more than half my life so finding a new normal might take some time. Today my promise is no dip for this lip and thanks to all my fellow quilters for being quit with me.
ODAAT.
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Day 100
Well here we are on day 100. It feels good to have triple digits under my belt. I guess I wish I had more to say but I’m back in the funk(wave)and i literally feel horrible this morning. But I know that this too shall pass and all the pain and suffering will go away and life will return to normal again. A new normal that is. I have dipped more than half my life so finding a new normal might take some time. Today my promise is no dip for this lip and thanks to all my fellow quilters for being quit with me.
ODAAT.
Bummed to hear you're back in a slump. But things ebb and flow for much longer than 100 days. Enjoy this milestone and celebrate it as the end of the beginning. Continue to post up daily and grind things out ODAAT. MN/2,704
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Day 100
Well here we are on day 100. It feels good to have triple digits under my belt. I guess I wish I had more to say but I’m back in the funk(wave)and i literally feel horrible this morning. But I know that this too shall pass and all the pain and suffering will go away and life will return to normal again. A new normal that is. I have dipped more than half my life so finding a new normal might take some time. Today my promise is no dip for this lip and thanks to all my fellow quilters for being quit with me.
ODAAT.
Bummed to hear you're back in a slump. But things ebb and flow for much longer than 100 days. Enjoy this milestone and celebrate it as the end of the beginning. Continue to post up daily and grind things out ODAAT. MN/2,704
Well. Done. Sir!!
It’s only the beginning but, dude, it is one helluva milestone! Celebrate it and if you can, let it be more than enough to wash the funk away. Day by day you’re getting stronger and training your mind in a new way. It takes time, my dude. It just does. Rock the day, brother and… see you here tomorrow.
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Day 100
Well here we are on day 100. It feels good to have triple digits under my belt. I guess I wish I had more to say but I’m back in the funk(wave)and i literally feel horrible this morning. But I know that this too shall pass and all the pain and suffering will go away and life will return to normal again. A new normal that is. I have dipped more than half my life so finding a new normal might take some time. Today my promise is no dip for this lip and thanks to all my fellow quilters for being quit with me.
ODAAT.
Bummed to hear you're back in a slump. But things ebb and flow for much longer than 100 days. Enjoy this milestone and celebrate it as the end of the beginning. Continue to post up daily and grind things out ODAAT. MN/2,704
Well. Done. Sir!!
It’s only the beginning but, dude, it is one helluva milestone! Celebrate it and if you can, let it be more than enough to wash the funk away. Day by day you’re getting stronger and training your mind in a new way. It takes time, my dude. It just does. Rock the day, brother and… see you here tomorrow.
If you can quit for 100 days, you can definitely quit tomorrow. ODDAT and let those days add up. That light at the end of the tunnel will get brighter and brighter.
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Day 101
No dip today. Feeling slightly better this morning. Hopefully the trend continues.
ODAAT.
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Day 101
No dip today. Feeling slightly better this morning. Hopefully the trend continues.
ODAAT.
MN/2,705 with you today
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Day 101
No dip today. Feeling slightly better this morning. Hopefully the trend continues.
ODAAT.
MN/2,705 with you today
Keith0617 1812 ODAAT
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Day 101
No dip today. Feeling slightly better this morning. Hopefully the trend continues.
ODAAT.
MN/2,705 with you today
Keith0617 1812 ODAAT
Congratulations on a big accomplishment bro. Every day is a win!!
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Day 102 with no chew and that’s my promise. Happy to be quit with you all.
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Day 102 with no chew and that’s my promise. Happy to be quit with you all.
MN/2,706 - proud to be quit with you today
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Day 102 with no chew and that’s my promise. Happy to be quit with you all.
MN/2,706 - proud to be quit with you today
Keith0617 1813 ODAAT
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Day 103 and still no dip for me. I feel like shit but we press on ODAAT.
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Day 103 and still no dip for me. I feel like shit but we press on ODAAT.
MN/2,707 for the next 24 hours with you
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Day 103 and still no dip for me. I feel like shit but we press on ODAAT.
MN/2,707 for the next 24 hours with you
Keith0617 1814 ODAAT
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Day 103 and still no dip for me. I feel like shit but we press on ODAAT.
MN/2,707 for the next 24 hours with you
Keith0617 1814 ODAAT
You might feel like shit, but do you look amazing? Of course you do.
worktowin 3,925
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Keith0617 1815 ODAAT. Where are you @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) ?
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Day 104
So feeling like shit but mornings are usually difficult. I just started tapering off of a medication my doctor put me on a few months ago for sleep. He didn’t want to keep me on it much longer because there are withdrawals associated with stopping it. I took half a dose last night and I’m already having trouble getting to sleep. Hopefully that’s the only symptom I have to deal with.
I promise myself I will not dip today.
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Day 104
So feeling like shit but mornings are usually difficult. I just started tapering off of a medication my doctor put me on a few months ago for sleep. He didn’t want to keep me on it much longer because there are withdrawals associated with stopping it. I took half a dose last night and I’m already having trouble getting to sleep. Hopefully that’s the only symptom I have to deal with.
I promise myself I will not dip today.
MN/2,708 no nicotine for me today.
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Day 105
I promise to not dip today.
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Day 105
I promise to not dip today.
MN/2,709 my promise is the same. with you today.
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Day 105
I promise to not dip today.
MN/2,709 my promise is the same. with you today.
Keith0617 1816 ODAAT
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Day 106
My promise to me is to be dip free today.
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Day 106
My promise to me is to be dip free today.
MN/2,710 you have my word today.
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Day 106
My promise to me is to be dip free today.
MN/2,710 you have my word today.
Keith0617 1817 ODAAT
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Day 107.
Feeling like shit due to tapering off a sleep med. now it’s nic and pill withdrawal. Promise not to dip today.
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Day 107.
Feeling like shit due to tapering off a sleep med. now it’s nic and pill withdrawal. Promise not to dip today.
Sorry, man. Keep the faith, bro. With ya today!
AJ… 3,815
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Day 107.
Feeling like shit due to tapering off a sleep med. now it’s nic and pill withdrawal. Promise not to dip today.
Sorry, man. Keep the faith, bro. With ya today!
AJ… 3,815
MN/2,711 progress is a tricky thing. I wrote this piece a while back (about 4 years ago actually); maybe you can draw some inspiration from it - No Progress (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=15929.0)
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Day 107.
Feeling like shit due to tapering off a sleep med. now it’s nic and pill withdrawal. Promise not to dip today.
Sorry, man. Keep the faith, bro. With ya today!
AJ… 3,815
MN/2,711 progress is a tricky thing. I wrote this piece a while back (about 4 years ago actually); maybe you can draw some inspiration from it - No Progress (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=15929.0)
Keith0617 1818 ODAAT
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Day 108.
Feel like shit but it’s better than dipping. I promise not to dip today.
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Day 107.
Feeling like shit due to tapering off a sleep med. now it’s nic and pill withdrawal. Promise not to dip today.
Sorry, man. Keep the faith, bro. With ya today!
AJ… 3,815
MN/2,711 progress is a tricky thing. I wrote this piece a while back (about 4 years ago actually); maybe you can draw some inspiration from it - No Progress (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=15929.0)
Good read Mn engineer.
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Day 108.
Feel like shit but it’s better than dipping. I promise not to dip today.
You probably are still stuck in that 70s funk! Mine came on about day 85 and lasted to about day 135, everybody is different ! But one thing I do know is , any body can make it through a day. If you wake up tomorrow that’s another a different day to make a choice to flip the bird to the nic bitch ! But today let your quit be enough .
1002 LTBE
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Day 108.
Feel like shit but it’s better than dipping. I promise not to dip today.
You probably are still stuck in that 70s funk! Mine came on about day 85 and lasted to about day 135, everybody is different ! But one thing I do know is , any body can make it through a day. If you wake up tomorrow that’s another a different day to make a choice to flip the bird to the nic bitch ! But today let your quit be enough .
1002 LTBE
MN/2,712 with you today
-
Day 108.
Feel like shit but it’s better than dipping. I promise not to dip today.
You probably are still stuck in that 70s funk! Mine came on about day 85 and lasted to about day 135, everybody is different ! But one thing I do know is , any body can make it through a day. If you wake up tomorrow that’s another a different day to make a choice to flip the bird to the nic bitch ! But today let your quit be enough .
1002 LTBE
MN/2,712 with you today
worktowin 3,930. Hell yes I'm quitting with you winners today.
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Day 108.
Feel like shit but it’s better than dipping. I promise not to dip today.
You probably are still stuck in that 70s funk! Mine came on about day 85 and lasted to about day 135, everybody is different ! But one thing I do know is , any body can make it through a day. If you wake up tomorrow that’s another a different day to make a choice to flip the bird to the nic bitch ! But today let your quit be enough .
1002 LTBE
MN/2,712 with you today
worktowin 3,930. Hell yes I'm quitting with you winners today.
Joining this quit support train!
AJ… 3,816 days of freedom
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Day 108.
Feel like shit but it’s better than dipping. I promise not to dip today.
It’s possible. I had a nice 2 weeks the first half of September but it came to a blunt end on or about the 15th. Been tough since. Hopefully the sky’s clear and the sun comes out and life can start getting better soon.
You probably are still stuck in that 70s funk! Mine came on about day 85 and lasted to about day 135, everybody is different ! But one thing I do know is , any body can make it through a day. If you wake up tomorrow that’s another a different day to make a choice to flip the bird to the nic bitch ! But today let your quit be enough .
1002 LTBE
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Day 108.
Feel like shit but it’s better than dipping. I promise not to dip today.
You probably are still stuck in that 70s funk! Mine came on about day 85 and lasted to about day 135, everybody is different ! But one thing I do know is , any body can make it through a day. If you wake up tomorrow that’s another a different day to make a choice to flip the bird to the nic bitch ! But today let your quit be enough .
1002 LTBE
MN/2,712 with you today
worktowin 3,930. Hell yes I'm quitting with you winners today.
Joining this quit support train!
AJ… 3,816 days of freedom
Keith0617 1819 ODAAT
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MN/2,713 with you today sir
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Day 109
I promise not to dip today
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Day 109
I promise not to dip today
worktowin 3,931. I typically used or threw out 1+ tin a day of Kodiak. When I say threw out, I would use part of the tin and then be convinced that day was the last day, and throw the rest out, only to go to the gas station tail between legs the next day to restock. So, Dipchit, how much does a tin of Kodiak cost these days? I'm really not sure, guessing $5 or more? 3,931 X $5 = $19,655 that I've saved since joining this group of winners. You included. I think I'll go out for a nice lunch today.
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Day 109
I promise not to dip today
worktowin 3,931. I typically used or threw out 1+ tin a day of Kodiak. When I say threw out, I would use part of the tin and then be convinced that day was the last day, and throw the rest out, only to go to the gas station tail between legs the next day to restock. So, Dipchit, how much does a tin of Kodiak cost these days? I'm really not sure, guessing $5 or more? 3,931 X $5 = $19,655 that I've saved since joining this group of winners. You included. I think I'll go out for a nice lunch today.
He's a fellow Minnesotan and while I wasn't a Kodiak user, Skoal is about $8-9 a can right now and Cope is north of $10. I've saved ~$32,500 in the 2,713 days I've been quit. Insanity.
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Day 109
I promise not to dip today
worktowin 3,931. I typically used or threw out 1+ tin a day of Kodiak. When I say threw out, I would use part of the tin and then be convinced that day was the last day, and throw the rest out, only to go to the gas station tail between legs the next day to restock. So, Dipchit, how much does a tin of Kodiak cost these days? I'm really not sure, guessing $5 or more? 3,931 X $5 = $19,655 that I've saved since joining this group of winners. You included. I think I'll go out for a nice lunch today.
He's a fellow Minnesotan and while I wasn't a Kodiak user, Skoal is about $8-9 a can right now and Cope is north of $10. I've saved ~$32,500 in the 2,713 days I've been quit. Insanity.
I blasted through 2 cans a day sometimes. I won’t do the math… it still hurts.
BUT…
I’m quit.
I dig my freedom.
AJ… 3,817 and QLF
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Day 109
I promise not to dip today
worktowin 3,931. I typically used or threw out 1+ tin a day of Kodiak. When I say threw out, I would use part of the tin and then be convinced that day was the last day, and throw the rest out, only to go to the gas station tail between legs the next day to restock. So, Dipchit, how much does a tin of Kodiak cost these days? I'm really not sure, guessing $5 or more? 3,931 X $5 = $19,655 that I've saved since joining this group of winners. You included. I think I'll go out for a nice lunch today.
$12.00 here.
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Day 109
I promise not to dip today
worktowin 3,931. I typically used or threw out 1+ tin a day of Kodiak. When I say threw out, I would use part of the tin and then be convinced that day was the last day, and throw the rest out, only to go to the gas station tail between legs the next day to restock. So, Dipchit, how much does a tin of Kodiak cost these days? I'm really not sure, guessing $5 or more? 3,931 X $5 = $19,655 that I've saved since joining this group of winners. You included. I think I'll go out for a nice lunch today.
$12.00 here.
Keith0617 1820 ODAAT
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Day 109
I promise not to dip today
worktowin 3,931. I typically used or threw out 1+ tin a day of Kodiak. When I say threw out, I would use part of the tin and then be convinced that day was the last day, and throw the rest out, only to go to the gas station tail between legs the next day to restock. So, Dipchit, how much does a tin of Kodiak cost these days? I'm really not sure, guessing $5 or more? 3,931 X $5 = $19,655 that I've saved since joining this group of winners. You included. I think I'll go out for a nice lunch today.
$12.00 here.
Keith0617 1820 ODAAT
TWELVE DOLLARS!!!!!!!!! OMG!
WOWZA
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Day 110
Although I feel good about myself and my decision to not dip, I feel like shit due to the never ending withdrawals. 110 days and still in withdrawal? Never in a million years would I have believed it if someone told me that it could go on that long. This is insane. I have promised myself that I will not dip today.
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Day 110
Although I feel good about myself and my decision to not dip, I feel like shit due to the never ending withdrawals. 110 days and still in withdrawal? Never in a million years would I have believed it if someone told me that it could go on that long. This is insane. I have promised myself that I will not dip today.
I’m no medical pro…
I’m no psychiatrist…
I’m no psychologist…
I have ZERO credentials to spout off a diagnosis of ANY sort.
Just gettin’ that out there!
I gotta wonder at this point, how much of this is a mental detox for you. A rewire of your thinking and perceptions and connections and actions is an undertaking of MONUMENTAL proportions. Nicotine was the driver of all of those things for all of us. It decided all of it. It controlled all of it. For how many years? 110 days to undo YEARS of neurological damage and conditioning isn’t all that surprising. I’m not downplaying your current trauma… just trying to help with a bit of perspective. You’ve had good to great days in this process so, y’know what?
It’s possible, brother.
It’s there for you.
You’re getting there.
Own this shit!
The path to freedom can be painful but, duuuuude… it’s worth it.
You. Got. This.
AJ… 3,818
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Day 110
Although I feel good about myself and my decision to not dip, I feel like shit due to the never ending withdrawals. 110 days and still in withdrawal? Never in a million years would I have believed it if someone told me that it could go on that long. This is insane. I have promised myself that I will not dip today.
I’m no medical pro…
I’m no psychiatrist…
I’m no psychologist…
I have ZERO credentials to spout off a diagnosis of ANY sort.
Just gettin’ that out there!
I gotta wonder at this point, how much of this is a mental detox for you. A rewire of your thinking and perceptions and connections and actions is an undertaking of MONUMENTAL proportions. Nicotine was the driver of all of those things for all of us. It decided all of it. It controlled all of it. For how many years? 110 days to undo YEARS of neurological damage and conditioning isn’t all that surprising. I’m not downplaying your current trauma… just trying to help with a bit of perspective. You’ve had good to great days in this process so, y’know what?
It’s possible, brother.
It’s there for you.
You’re getting there.
Own this shit!
The path to freedom can be painful but, duuuuude… it’s worth it.
You. Got. This.
AJ… 3,818
Thanks AJ. I need to stop comparing my other stops to my latest. I dipped for years and stopped 3 times with years in between with virtually no issues but this last time has been hell.
ODAAT.
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Day 110
Although I feel good about myself and my decision to not dip, I feel like shit due to the never ending withdrawals. 110 days and still in withdrawal? Never in a million years would I have believed it if someone told me that it could go on that long. This is insane. I have promised myself that I will not dip today.
I’m no medical pro…
I’m no psychiatrist…
I’m no psychologist…
I have ZERO credentials to spout off a diagnosis of ANY sort.
Just gettin’ that out there!
I gotta wonder at this point, how much of this is a mental detox for you. A rewire of your thinking and perceptions and connections and actions is an undertaking of MONUMENTAL proportions. Nicotine was the driver of all of those things for all of us. It decided all of it. It controlled all of it. For how many years? 110 days to undo YEARS of neurological damage and conditioning isn’t all that surprising. I’m not downplaying your current trauma… just trying to help with a bit of perspective. You’ve had good to great days in this process so, y’know what?
It’s possible, brother.
It’s there for you.
You’re getting there.
Own this shit!
The path to freedom can be painful but, duuuuude… it’s worth it.
You. Got. This.
AJ… 3,818
Thanks AJ. I need to stop comparing my other stops to my latest. I dipped for years and stopped 3 times with years in between with virtually no issues but this last time has been hell.
ODAAT.
Keith0617 1821 ODAAT
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Day 110
Although I feel good about myself and my decision to not dip, I feel like shit due to the never ending withdrawals. 110 days and still in withdrawal? Never in a million years would I have believed it if someone told me that it could go on that long. This is insane. I have promised myself that I will not dip today.
I’m no medical pro…
I’m no psychiatrist…
I’m no psychologist…
I have ZERO credentials to spout off a diagnosis of ANY sort.
Just gettin’ that out there!
I gotta wonder at this point, how much of this is a mental detox for you. A rewire of your thinking and perceptions and connections and actions is an undertaking of MONUMENTAL proportions. Nicotine was the driver of all of those things for all of us. It decided all of it. It controlled all of it. For how many years? 110 days to undo YEARS of neurological damage and conditioning isn’t all that surprising. I’m not downplaying your current trauma… just trying to help with a bit of perspective. You’ve had good to great days in this process so, y’know what?
It’s possible, brother.
It’s there for you.
You’re getting there.
Own this shit!
The path to freedom can be painful but, duuuuude… it’s worth it.
You. Got. This.
AJ… 3,818
Thanks AJ. I need to stop comparing my other stops to my latest. I dipped for years and stopped 3 times with years in between with virtually no issues but this last time has been hell.
ODAAT.
Keith0617 1821 ODAAT
MN/2,714 speaking from experience and helping others through similar, the mental games can happen for quite some time. It took me years to enjoy mowing the lawn without a dip for example. So I was grumpy a lot just pissed I couldn't poison myself doing the things I had linked to dipping. I know you've said your previous attempts didn't result in this challenge but maybe that's because in the back of your mind, you always had it made up you weren't going to quit "for good". So you brain was like "ok, I'll wait". This time, your resolve (while focusing one day at a time) may be different because this is your first and final QUIT. Not trying to project or diagnose; just something to consider.
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Day 110
Although I feel good about myself and my decision to not dip, I feel like shit due to the never ending withdrawals. 110 days and still in withdrawal? Never in a million years would I have believed it if someone told me that it could go on that long. This is insane. I have promised myself that I will not dip today.
I’m no medical pro…
I’m no psychiatrist…
I’m no psychologist…
I have ZERO credentials to spout off a diagnosis of ANY sort.
Just gettin’ that out there!
I gotta wonder at this point, how much of this is a mental detox for you. A rewire of your thinking and perceptions and connections and actions is an undertaking of MONUMENTAL proportions. Nicotine was the driver of all of those things for all of us. It decided all of it. It controlled all of it. For how many years? 110 days to undo YEARS of neurological damage and conditioning isn’t all that surprising. I’m not downplaying your current trauma… just trying to help with a bit of perspective. You’ve had good to great days in this process so, y’know what?
It’s possible, brother.
It’s there for you.
You’re getting there.
Own this shit!
The path to freedom can be painful but, duuuuude… it’s worth it.
You. Got. This.
AJ… 3,818
Thanks AJ. I need to stop comparing my other stops to my latest. I dipped for years and stopped 3 times with years in between with virtually no issues but this last time has been hell.
ODAAT.
Keith0617 1821 ODAAT
MN/2,714 speaking from experience and helping others through similar, the mental games can happen for quite some time. It took me years to enjoy mowing the lawn without a dip for example. So I was grumpy a lot just pissed I couldn't poison myself doing the things I had linked to dipping. I know you've said your previous attempts didn't result in this challenge but maybe that's because in the back of your mind, you always had it made up you weren't going to quit "for good". So you brain was like "ok, I'll wait". This time, your resolve (while focusing one day at a time) may be different because this is your first and final QUIT. Not trying to project or diagnose; just something to consider.
Fuck……. Anxiety is so bad today that my temples, neck and shoulders are burning. Overall feeling of fear is really Fuckin bad. 110 days out and still in the thick of it. Too bad I quit drinking 10 years ago. Couple shots of Crown would take care of this hell but I really don’t want to drink again. I’m getting close to the 36th floor with that. No cave today. I will not dip.
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Day 110
Although I feel good about myself and my decision to not dip, I feel like shit due to the never ending withdrawals. 110 days and still in withdrawal? Never in a million years would I have believed it if someone told me that it could go on that long. This is insane. I have promised myself that I will not dip today.
I’m no medical pro…
I’m no psychiatrist…
I’m no psychologist…
I have ZERO credentials to spout off a diagnosis of ANY sort.
Just gettin’ that out there!
I gotta wonder at this point, how much of this is a mental detox for you. A rewire of your thinking and perceptions and connections and actions is an undertaking of MONUMENTAL proportions. Nicotine was the driver of all of those things for all of us. It decided all of it. It controlled all of it. For how many years? 110 days to undo YEARS of neurological damage and conditioning isn’t all that surprising. I’m not downplaying your current trauma… just trying to help with a bit of perspective. You’ve had good to great days in this process so, y’know what?
It’s possible, brother.
It’s there for you.
You’re getting there.
Own this shit!
The path to freedom can be painful but, duuuuude… it’s worth it.
You. Got. This.
AJ… 3,818
Thanks AJ. I need to stop comparing my other stops to my latest. I dipped for years and stopped 3 times with years in between with virtually no issues but this last time has been hell.
ODAAT.
Keith0617 1821 ODAAT
MN/2,714 speaking from experience and helping others through similar, the mental games can happen for quite some time. It took me years to enjoy mowing the lawn without a dip for example. So I was grumpy a lot just pissed I couldn't poison myself doing the things I had linked to dipping. I know you've said your previous attempts didn't result in this challenge but maybe that's because in the back of your mind, you always had it made up you weren't going to quit "for good". So you brain was like "ok, I'll wait". This time, your resolve (while focusing one day at a time) may be different because this is your first and final QUIT. Not trying to project or diagnose; just something to consider.
Fuck……. Anxiety is so bad today that my temples, neck and shoulders are burning. Overall feeling of fear is really Fuckin bad. 110 days out and still in the thick of it. Too bad I quit drinking 10 years ago. Couple shots of Crown would take care of this hell but I really don’t want to drink again. I’m getting close to the 36th floor with that. No cave today. I will not dip.
Alcohol doesn’t solve anything just like nicotine doesn’t. A problem + a drink or nic only leads to having 2 problems. You can do it. You did it yesterday so you can do it just for today
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Day 110
Although I feel good about myself and my decision to not dip, I feel like shit due to the never ending withdrawals. 110 days and still in withdrawal? Never in a million years would I have believed it if someone told me that it could go on that long. This is insane. I have promised myself that I will not dip today.
I’m no medical pro…
I’m no psychiatrist…
I’m no psychologist…
I have ZERO credentials to spout off a diagnosis of ANY sort.
Just gettin’ that out there!
I gotta wonder at this point, how much of this is a mental detox for you. A rewire of your thinking and perceptions and connections and actions is an undertaking of MONUMENTAL proportions. Nicotine was the driver of all of those things for all of us. It decided all of it. It controlled all of it. For how many years? 110 days to undo YEARS of neurological damage and conditioning isn’t all that surprising. I’m not downplaying your current trauma… just trying to help with a bit of perspective. You’ve had good to great days in this process so, y’know what?
It’s possible, brother.
It’s there for you.
You’re getting there.
Own this shit!
The path to freedom can be painful but, duuuuude… it’s worth it.
You. Got. This.
AJ… 3,818
Thanks AJ. I need to stop comparing my other stops to my latest. I dipped for years and stopped 3 times with years in between with virtually no issues but this last time has been hell.
ODAAT.
Keith0617 1821 ODAAT
MN/2,714 speaking from experience and helping others through similar, the mental games can happen for quite some time. It took me years to enjoy mowing the lawn without a dip for example. So I was grumpy a lot just pissed I couldn't poison myself doing the things I had linked to dipping. I know you've said your previous attempts didn't result in this challenge but maybe that's because in the back of your mind, you always had it made up you weren't going to quit "for good". So you brain was like "ok, I'll wait". This time, your resolve (while focusing one day at a time) may be different because this is your first and final QUIT. Not trying to project or diagnose; just something to consider.
Fuck……. Anxiety is so bad today that my temples, neck and shoulders are burning. Overall feeling of fear is really Fuckin bad. 110 days out and still in the thick of it. Too bad I quit drinking 10 years ago. Couple shots of Crown would take care of this hell but I really don’t want to drink again. I’m getting close to the 36th floor with that. No cave today. I will not dip.
Alcohol doesn’t solve anything just like nicotine doesn’t. A problem + a drink or nic only leads to having 2 problems. You can do it. You did it yesterday so you can do it just for today
Yes I can. I can do this. It’s fuckin hard but I will not break my promise.
-
The funk.
Does anyone remember the funk? What were your symptoms and what days in your quit did they happen.
I had a wonderful window of virtually zero symptoms for the first 2 weeks of September. I thought I was done with withdrawal and everyday would get better. Boy was I wrong. I woke up that Saturday morning 2 weeks later and I could feel the dread, anxiety and depression come roaring back like the past 2 weeks never happened. I believe they were days 70 something to close to 90. It’s now Friday evening and I usually feel pretty excited for a weekend full of activities and of course dipping but now all I feel is depression. That nic bitch is one powerful bitch. I’ll never fuck her again. She’s to ugly. I’ll see you quitters in the morning.
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Day 111
Still very depressed but I’m still not going to dip today and that is my promise. BTW we haven’t seen the sun here for a week. Nothing but doom and gloom with rain. We have flood warnings and beach hazards posted for this area of northern Minnesota. Here’s to another day of depression
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Day 111
Still very depressed but I’m still not going to dip today and that is my promise. BTW we haven’t seen the sun here for a week. Nothing but doom and gloom with rain. We have flood warnings and beach hazards posted for this area of northern Minnesota. Here’s to another day of depression
Worktowin 3,933
You can do this. If I can, I know you can.
-
Day 111
Still very depressed but I’m still not going to dip today and that is my promise. BTW we haven’t seen the sun here for a week. Nothing but doom and gloom with rain. We have flood warnings and beach hazards posted for this area of northern Minnesota. Here’s to another day of depression
Worktowin 3,933
You can do this. If I can, I know you can.
Keith0617 1822 ODAAT
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Day 111
Still very depressed but I’m still not going to dip today and that is my promise. BTW we haven’t seen the sun here for a week. Nothing but doom and gloom with rain. We have flood warnings and beach hazards posted for this area of northern Minnesota. Here’s to another day of depression
Worktowin 3,933
You can do this. If I can, I know you can.
Keith0617 1822 ODAAT
still struggling with depression. Really bad day but I’m still clean. It’s so hard but the day is almost done thank goodness. I never ever thought this shit would still be going for this long. This is insane. I’m really reaching deep within for the strength to keep going. Glad you quitters are here with me. See you all in the morning. No dip tonight for me.
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Day 111
Still very depressed but I’m still not going to dip today and that is my promise. BTW we haven’t seen the sun here for a week. Nothing but doom and gloom with rain. We have flood warnings and beach hazards posted for this area of northern Minnesota. Here’s to another day of depression
Worktowin 3,933
You can do this. If I can, I know you can.
Keith0617 1822 ODAAT
still struggling with depression. Really bad day but I’m still clean. It’s so hard but the day is almost done thank goodness. I never ever thought this shit would still be going for this long. This is insane. I’m really reaching deep within for the strength to keep going. Glad you quitters are here with me. See you all in the morning. No dip tonight for me.
MN/2,716 - with you today
-
Day 112 and still in the funk.
I promise myself that I will not dip today.
Can’t wait for the funk to pass so I can get some resemblance of what my life should be like. Not a depressed and anxious little pussy. Fuck this shit sucks.
Glad to be quit with you all.
-
Day 112 and still in the funk.
I promise myself that I will not dip today.
Can’t wait for the funk to pass so I can get some resemblance of what my life should be like. Not a depressed and anxious little pussy. Fuck this shit sucks.
Glad to be quit with you all.
Sorry, man. I know that means next to nothing coming from some rando dude on the internet who you don't know, will never know, and never meet.
BUT... the knowledge you're not alone has far more weight than you would think. Anxiety and depression are an absolute bitch. You get stuck in your mind loop and it's hard to bust out. Concerning anxiety, one of the most amazing things I've ever heard from a medical professional was this: "Anxiety is a thinking problem about a thinking problem". Chew on that as you will.
All that to say... there is light you're heading toward. With ya today, bro.
AJ... 3,820
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Day 112 and still in the funk.
I promise myself that I will not dip today.
Can’t wait for the funk to pass so I can get some resemblance of what my life should be like. Not a depressed and anxious little pussy. Fuck this shit sucks.
Glad to be quit with you all.
Sorry, man. I know that means next to nothing coming from some rando dude on the internet who you don't know, will never know, and never meet.
BUT... the knowledge you're not alone has far more weight than you would think. Anxiety and depression are an absolute bitch. You get stuck in your mind loop and it's hard to bust out. Concerning anxiety, one of the most amazing things I've ever heard from a medical professional was this: "Anxiety is a thinking problem about a thinking problem". Chew on that as you will.
All that to say... there is light you're heading toward. With ya today, bro.
AJ... 3,820
Keith0617 1823 ODAAT
-
Day 113
Woke up to the same. Anxiety, fear, depression, tingling and butterflies in the tummy feeling. Had a monster crave last night but I held out and didn’t go get a can. I promise not to dip today.
-
Day 113
Woke up to the same. Anxiety, fear, depression, tingling and butterflies in the tummy feeling. Had a monster crave last night but I held out and didn’t go get a can. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,717 you inspire my quit through your grit and determination. keep it up sir.
-
Day 113
Woke up to the same. Anxiety, fear, depression, tingling and butterflies in the tummy feeling. Had a monster crave last night but I held out and didn’t go get a can. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,717 you inspire my quit through your grit and determination. keep it up sir.
Thanks. It’s really hard and nearly unbearable at times but somehow I’m getting through this. Some days are so hard that it’s one hour at a time. The anxiety is the worst. Day 113 and in agony.
-
Day 113
Woke up to the same. Anxiety, fear, depression, tingling and butterflies in the tummy feeling. Had a monster crave last night but I held out and didn’t go get a can. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,717 you inspire my quit through your grit and determination. keep it up sir.
Thanks. It’s really hard and nearly unbearable at times but somehow I’m getting through this. Some days are so hard that it’s one hour at a time. The anxiety is the worst. Day 113 and in agony.
Keith0617 1824 ODAAT
-
Day 114
I promise not to dip today. Fear and depression again this morning. Not as intense as yesterday but it still sucks.
-
Day 114
I promise not to dip today. Fear and depression again this morning. Not as intense as yesterday but it still sucks.
worktowin 3,936. Today you have no fear of wasting time hiding and lying from your family bro. Today is your day. Make the most of 114 days of owning your actions instead of letting a little chopped up plant of poison run your life. It's an honor to quit with you.
-
Day 114
I promise not to dip today. Fear and depression again this morning. Not as intense as yesterday but it still sucks.
worktowin 3,936. Today you have no fear of wasting time hiding and lying from your family bro. Today is your day. Make the most of 114 days of owning your actions instead of letting a little chopped up plant of poison run your life. It's an honor to quit with you.
Keith0617 1825 ODAAT
-
Day 115.
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
I will not dip today and that’s my promise.
I had some pretty bad cravings yesterday. Felt like the first week again. Good god, how long does the suffering last? This is completely insane.
Glad to be quit with you all.
-
Day 115.
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
I will not dip today and that’s my promise.
I had some pretty bad cravings yesterday. Felt like the first week again. Good god, how long does the suffering last? This is completely insane.
Glad to be quit with you all.
worktowin 3,937. Hope you are starting to celebrate the wins a little in addition to the suffering. Some day you'll be glad you posted all of this here so you can come back and read it and remember how much this shit put you through.
-
Day 115.
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
I will not dip today and that’s my promise.
I had some pretty bad cravings yesterday. Felt like the first week again. Good god, how long does the suffering last? This is completely insane.
Glad to be quit with you all.
worktowin 3,937. Hope you are starting to celebrate the wins a little in addition to the suffering. Some day you'll be glad you posted all of this here so you can come back and read it and remember how much this shit put you through.
Keith0617 1826 ODAAT
-
Day 115.
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
I will not dip today and that’s my promise.
I had some pretty bad cravings yesterday. Felt like the first week again. Good god, how long does the suffering last? This is completely insane.
Glad to be quit with you all.
worktowin 3,937. Hope you are starting to celebrate the wins a little in addition to the suffering. Some day you'll be glad you posted all of this here so you can come back and read it and remember how much this shit put you through.
Keith0617 1826 ODAAT
Alcohol withdrawal only lasted about two weeks. Peaked at 5 days and faded away until about the 2nd week. Then it was life as usual but with no alcohol. I do drink fake beer though because I love the taste of beer.
-
Day 115.
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
I will not dip today and that’s my promise.
I had some pretty bad cravings yesterday. Felt like the first week again. Good god, how long does the suffering last? This is completely insane.
Glad to be quit with you all.
worktowin 3,937. Hope you are starting to celebrate the wins a little in addition to the suffering. Some day you'll be glad you posted all of this here so you can come back and read it and remember how much this shit put you through.
Keith0617 1826 ODAAT
Alcohol withdrawal only lasted about two weeks. Peaked at 5 days and faded away until about the 2nd week. Then it was life as usual but with no alcohol. I do drink fake beer though because I love the taste of beer.
Nicotine is almost as addictive as heroin bro. You are doing great.
-
Day 116.
Still no progress. Feel just as bad as the first 30 days. I had a couple windows over the last 116 days. One lasting a couple days and one went close to 2 weeks back in early September. I thought withdrawal was over because I felt a little better each day but then I woke up that dreadful morning and it was just like day 3 all over again. What a mind fuck. Any how I promise not to dip today.
-
Day 116.
Still no progress. Feel just as bad as the first 30 days. I had a couple windows over the last 116 days. One lasting a couple days and one went close to 2 weeks back in early September. I thought withdrawal was over because I felt a little better each day but then I woke up that dreadful morning and it was just like day 3 all over again. What a mind fuck. Any how I promise not to dip today.
worktowin 3,938. Haven't asked this, but are you exercising? Like lifting weights, running/walking yourself to exhaustion? There is nothing like beating your body to a sweaty exhaustion followed by a sweaty round in the sheets with the Mrs. to get your mind rewired. Try it for a while. Also, you live up north. If you don't, start taking a lot of Vitamin D.
-
Day 116.
Still no progress. Feel just as bad as the first 30 days. I had a couple windows over the last 116 days. One lasting a couple days and one went close to 2 weeks back in early September. I thought withdrawal was over because I felt a little better each day but then I woke up that dreadful morning and it was just like day 3 all over again. What a mind fuck. Any how I promise not to dip today.
worktowin 3,938. Haven't asked this, but are you exercising? Like lifting weights, running/walking yourself to exhaustion? There is nothing like beating your body to a sweaty exhaustion followed by a sweaty round in the sheets with the Mrs. to get your mind rewired. Try it for a while. Also, you live up north. If you don't, start taking a lot of Vitamin D.
I been working out on my exercise machine and my job is pretty physical so yes I’m very active. As far as me and the Mrs. we are very inactive in that department. We are both close to 60 and just don’t really care about that anymore. It’s just one day after the next of living in virtual hell. I’m afraid that if I knew how bad withdrawal was going to be I would have just stayed dipping until the end. I have to much suffering invested now to cave so it’s onward and upwards we go. No turning back. I do notice though that not many here have journaled their timelines as far as symptoms go. Very little is known about post 100 or 150 or 200 etc. I can tell you from experience that the first 100 sucked except for a couple little windows at around the 60 something and 90 something days but since those windows it’s been hell on earth. Main symptom has been extreme anxiety with some depression thrown in for good measure. I know we are all different but the first 100 day description on the site was very accurate. How about the next 100 and 200 from you vets. The 1 year mark?
I can’t give a good description from my last stop that lasted 14 years because I didn’t have any symptoms other then a few craves here and there for a couple weeks. That was it. I can’t believe I didn’t have any withdrawals and I had been dipping for years before that. 21 and a few months.
Glad to be quit but it still feels like shit.
BTW I’m having a monster crave.
-
Day 116.
Still no progress. Feel just as bad as the first 30 days. I had a couple windows over the last 116 days. One lasting a couple days and one went close to 2 weeks back in early September. I thought withdrawal was over because I felt a little better each day but then I woke up that dreadful morning and it was just like day 3 all over again. What a mind fuck. Any how I promise not to dip today.
worktowin 3,938. Haven't asked this, but are you exercising? Like lifting weights, running/walking yourself to exhaustion? There is nothing like beating your body to a sweaty exhaustion followed by a sweaty round in the sheets with the Mrs. to get your mind rewired. Try it for a while. Also, you live up north. If you don't, start taking a lot of Vitamin D.
I been working out on my exercise machine and my job is pretty physical so yes I’m very active. As far as me and the Mrs. we are very inactive in that department. We are both close to 60 and just don’t really care about that anymore. It’s just one day after the next of living in virtual hell. I’m afraid that if I knew how bad withdrawal was going to be I would have just stayed dipping until the end. I have to much suffering invested now to cave so it’s onward and upwards we go. No turning back. I do notice though that not many here have journaled their timelines as far as symptoms go. Very little is known about post 100 or 150 or 200 etc. I can tell you from experience that the first 100 sucked except for a couple little windows at around the 60 something and 90 something days but since those windows it’s been hell on earth. Main symptom has been extreme anxiety with some depression thrown in for good measure. I know we are all different but the first 100 day description on the site was very accurate. How about the next 100 and 200 from you vets. The 1 year mark?
I can’t give a good description from my last stop that lasted 14 years because I didn’t have any symptoms other then a few craves here and there for a couple weeks. That was it. I can’t believe I didn’t have any withdrawals and I had been dipping for years before that. 21 and a few months.
Glad to be quit but it still feels like shit.
BTW I’m having a monster crave.
Here's mine, for what it is worth:
First 50 days I truthfully don't remember a thing. Initially depressed beyond description, almost to the point of desperation. Was in a fog so deep that time was lost. Like zero recollection of going to work, doing work, Christmas, whatever. Gone. That gets me to day 50.
Next 100 days, a struggle. Every day was trying hard to put one foot in front of the other, keep my mind occupied and busy because I was lost, scared, and afraid. Trying to survive. That gets me to Day 150.
Next 150 Days, Not easy, but not nail-biting misery either. Still a struggle, but manageable if that makes sense. Was there a lot of joy? No, but there wasn't this literally absoultely constant feeling that I was "at war" either. On to Day 300.
Next 200 Days, life started to become good. I was able to be happy. Celebrate wins. Smile. Be joyful. I wasn't fighting with myself of lost. On to Day 500.
Next 500 Days, life started to become great. I was finding my way, wasn't lying, was celebrating that. Was enjoying things I didn't used to enjoy. Found time to look at and celebrate the little things. Happier in these days than I had been in many, many years. Here come's the Comma 1,000
1,000+, a peace has now set in. Everyone has a different experience. I've had a small handful of "craves" in the 3,000 or so days since the comma, but only a few. And honestly those few remind me that I'm winning. Big.
That part of my life is in the past, and I post every day. I find great comfort in knowing that my misery in some small way might be helping winners like you out, because as you can see above, I was pretty miserable and hopeless too. There are better days ahead. If you can somehow look at this misery as "healing" instead of misery, look at it as "this is part of me growing", it might help. But in the end, it is a process. I don't think any of us had an easy ride. If it were easy, no one would be an addict. Again, sir, I'm honored to be on this ride with you. And I promise you, there are better days ahead. Because there are.
-
Day 116.
Still no progress. Feel just as bad as the first 30 days. I had a couple windows over the last 116 days. One lasting a couple days and one went close to 2 weeks back in early September. I thought withdrawal was over because I felt a little better each day but then I woke up that dreadful morning and it was just like day 3 all over again. What a mind fuck. Any how I promise not to dip today.
worktowin 3,938. Haven't asked this, but are you exercising? Like lifting weights, running/walking yourself to exhaustion? There is nothing like beating your body to a sweaty exhaustion followed by a sweaty round in the sheets with the Mrs. to get your mind rewired. Try it for a while. Also, you live up north. If you don't, start taking a lot of Vitamin D.
I been working out on my exercise machine and my job is pretty physical so yes I’m very active. As far as me and the Mrs. we are very inactive in that department. We are both close to 60 and just don’t really care about that anymore. It’s just one day after the next of living in virtual hell. I’m afraid that if I knew how bad withdrawal was going to be I would have just stayed dipping until the end. I have to much suffering invested now to cave so it’s onward and upwards we go. No turning back. I do notice though that not many here have journaled their timelines as far as symptoms go. Very little is known about post 100 or 150 or 200 etc. I can tell you from experience that the first 100 sucked except for a couple little windows at around the 60 something and 90 something days but since those windows it’s been hell on earth. Main symptom has been extreme anxiety with some depression thrown in for good measure. I know we are all different but the first 100 day description on the site was very accurate. How about the next 100 and 200 from you vets. The 1 year mark?
I can’t give a good description from my last stop that lasted 14 years because I didn’t have any symptoms other then a few craves here and there for a couple weeks. That was it. I can’t believe I didn’t have any withdrawals and I had been dipping for years before that. 21 and a few months.
Glad to be quit but it still feels like shit.
BTW I’m having a monster crave.
Here's mine, for what it is worth:
First 50 days I truthfully don't remember a thing. Initially depressed beyond description, almost to the point of desperation. Was in a fog so deep that time was lost. Like zero recollection of going to work, doing work, Christmas, whatever. Gone. That gets me to day 50.
Next 100 days, a struggle. Every day was trying hard to put one foot in front of the other, keep my mind occupied and busy because I was lost, scared, and afraid. Trying to survive. That gets me to Day 150.
Next 150 Days, Not easy, but not nail-biting misery either. Still a struggle, but manageable if that makes sense. Was there a lot of joy? No, but there wasn't this literally absoultely constant feeling that I was "at war" either. On to Day 300.
Next 200 Days, life started to become good. I was able to be happy. Celebrate wins. Smile. Be joyful. I wasn't fighting with myself of lost. On to Day 500.
Next 500 Days, life started to become great. I was finding my way, wasn't lying, was celebrating that. Was enjoying things I didn't used to enjoy. Found time to look at and celebrate the little things. Happier in these days than I had been in many, many years. Here come's the Comma 1,000
1,000+, a peace has now set in. Everyone has a different experience. I've had a small handful of "craves" in the 3,000 or so days since the comma, but only a few. And honestly those few remind me that I'm winning. Big.
That part of my life is in the past, and I post every day. I find great comfort in knowing that my misery in some small way might be helping winners like you out, because as you can see above, I was pretty miserable and hopeless too. There are better days ahead. If you can somehow look at this misery as "healing" instead of misery, look at it as "this is part of me growing", it might help. But in the end, it is a process. I don't think any of us had an easy ride. If it were easy, no one would be an addict. Again, sir, I'm honored to be on this ride with you. And I promise you, there are better days ahead. Because there are.
Thank you for your description of your journey. It’s crazy how long it takes to heal. I know many ex smokers who are just puzzled when I tell them how much and how long I been suffering since I quit. One guy I work with was a pack a day smoker since he was 14 years old. He’s now 60. He quit and after about a month he has no symptoms or cravings at all. He said the first week was hell but it got better from there. Similar stories from others. Like I mentioned before I had virtually zero symptoms my last 3 stops after many years of dipping. I just blew me away when I got anxious the first day. I thought that it couldn’t possibly be from quitting dip. Glad I found KTC because it validated my symptoms. I’d like to hear more stories from others. It really helps the anxiety knowing I’m not going nuts. Thanks again.
-
Day 116.
Still no progress. Feel just as bad as the first 30 days. I had a couple windows over the last 116 days. One lasting a couple days and one went close to 2 weeks back in early September. I thought withdrawal was over because I felt a little better each day but then I woke up that dreadful morning and it was just like day 3 all over again. What a mind fuck. Any how I promise not to dip today.
worktowin 3,938. Haven't asked this, but are you exercising? Like lifting weights, running/walking yourself to exhaustion? There is nothing like beating your body to a sweaty exhaustion followed by a sweaty round in the sheets with the Mrs. to get your mind rewired. Try it for a while. Also, you live up north. If you don't, start taking a lot of Vitamin D.
I been working out on my exercise machine and my job is pretty physical so yes I’m very active. As far as me and the Mrs. we are very inactive in that department. We are both close to 60 and just don’t really care about that anymore. It’s just one day after the next of living in virtual hell. I’m afraid that if I knew how bad withdrawal was going to be I would have just stayed dipping until the end. I have to much suffering invested now to cave so it’s onward and upwards we go. No turning back. I do notice though that not many here have journaled their timelines as far as symptoms go. Very little is known about post 100 or 150 or 200 etc. I can tell you from experience that the first 100 sucked except for a couple little windows at around the 60 something and 90 something days but since those windows it’s been hell on earth. Main symptom has been extreme anxiety with some depression thrown in for good measure. I know we are all different but the first 100 day description on the site was very accurate. How about the next 100 and 200 from you vets. The 1 year mark?
I can’t give a good description from my last stop that lasted 14 years because I didn’t have any symptoms other then a few craves here and there for a couple weeks. That was it. I can’t believe I didn’t have any withdrawals and I had been dipping for years before that. 21 and a few months.
Glad to be quit but it still feels like shit.
BTW I’m having a monster crave.
Here's mine, for what it is worth:
First 50 days I truthfully don't remember a thing. Initially depressed beyond description, almost to the point of desperation. Was in a fog so deep that time was lost. Like zero recollection of going to work, doing work, Christmas, whatever. Gone. That gets me to day 50.
Next 100 days, a struggle. Every day was trying hard to put one foot in front of the other, keep my mind occupied and busy because I was lost, scared, and afraid. Trying to survive. That gets me to Day 150.
Next 150 Days, Not easy, but not nail-biting misery either. Still a struggle, but manageable if that makes sense. Was there a lot of joy? No, but there wasn't this literally absoultely constant feeling that I was "at war" either. On to Day 300.
Next 200 Days, life started to become good. I was able to be happy. Celebrate wins. Smile. Be joyful. I wasn't fighting with myself of lost. On to Day 500.
Next 500 Days, life started to become great. I was finding my way, wasn't lying, was celebrating that. Was enjoying things I didn't used to enjoy. Found time to look at and celebrate the little things. Happier in these days than I had been in many, many years. Here come's the Comma 1,000
1,000+, a peace has now set in. Everyone has a different experience. I've had a small handful of "craves" in the 3,000 or so days since the comma, but only a few. And honestly those few remind me that I'm winning. Big.
That part of my life is in the past, and I post every day. I find great comfort in knowing that my misery in some small way might be helping winners like you out, because as you can see above, I was pretty miserable and hopeless too. There are better days ahead. If you can somehow look at this misery as "healing" instead of misery, look at it as "this is part of me growing", it might help. But in the end, it is a process. I don't think any of us had an easy ride. If it were easy, no one would be an addict. Again, sir, I'm honored to be on this ride with you. And I promise you, there are better days ahead. Because there are.
Thank you for your description of your journey. It’s crazy how long it takes to heal. I know many ex smokers who are just puzzled when I tell them how much and how long I been suffering since I quit. One guy I work with was a pack a day smoker since he was 14 years old. He’s now 60. He quit and after about a month he has no symptoms or cravings at all. He said the first week was hell but it got better from there. Similar stories from others. Like I mentioned before I had virtually zero symptoms my last 3 stops after many years of dipping. I just blew me away when I got anxious the first day. I thought that it couldn’t possibly be from quitting dip. Glad I found KTC because it validated my symptoms. I’d like to hear more stories from others. It really helps the anxiety knowing I’m not going nuts. Thanks again.
haven’t he from engineer for a while. Hope he didn’t go out and buy a can!!!! I doubt it. Just trying to lure you out. And Mr. Worktowin my hats off to you. You are a quit warrior. Fuck! Sounds like my quit so far. Fucking hard as hell. I do get a break most evenings around 8:00 pm. to bedtime. Guessing it’s the cortisol drop.
-
Day 116.
Still no progress. Feel just as bad as the first 30 days. I had a couple windows over the last 116 days. One lasting a couple days and one went close to 2 weeks back in early September. I thought withdrawal was over because I felt a little better each day but then I woke up that dreadful morning and it was just like day 3 all over again. What a mind fuck. Any how I promise not to dip today.
worktowin 3,938. Haven't asked this, but are you exercising? Like lifting weights, running/walking yourself to exhaustion? There is nothing like beating your body to a sweaty exhaustion followed by a sweaty round in the sheets with the Mrs. to get your mind rewired. Try it for a while. Also, you live up north. If you don't, start taking a lot of Vitamin D.
I been working out on my exercise machine and my job is pretty physical so yes I’m very active. As far as me and the Mrs. we are very inactive in that department. We are both close to 60 and just don’t really care about that anymore. It’s just one day after the next of living in virtual hell. I’m afraid that if I knew how bad withdrawal was going to be I would have just stayed dipping until the end. I have to much suffering invested now to cave so it’s onward and upwards we go. No turning back. I do notice though that not many here have journaled their timelines as far as symptoms go. Very little is known about post 100 or 150 or 200 etc. I can tell you from experience that the first 100 sucked except for a couple little windows at around the 60 something and 90 something days but since those windows it’s been hell on earth. Main symptom has been extreme anxiety with some depression thrown in for good measure. I know we are all different but the first 100 day description on the site was very accurate. How about the next 100 and 200 from you vets. The 1 year mark?
I can’t give a good description from my last stop that lasted 14 years because I didn’t have any symptoms other then a few craves here and there for a couple weeks. That was it. I can’t believe I didn’t have any withdrawals and I had been dipping for years before that. 21 and a few months.
Glad to be quit but it still feels like shit.
BTW I’m having a monster crave.
Here's mine, for what it is worth:
First 50 days I truthfully don't remember a thing. Initially depressed beyond description, almost to the point of desperation. Was in a fog so deep that time was lost. Like zero recollection of going to work, doing work, Christmas, whatever. Gone. That gets me to day 50.
Next 100 days, a struggle. Every day was trying hard to put one foot in front of the other, keep my mind occupied and busy because I was lost, scared, and afraid. Trying to survive. That gets me to Day 150.
Next 150 Days, Not easy, but not nail-biting misery either. Still a struggle, but manageable if that makes sense. Was there a lot of joy? No, but there wasn't this literally absoultely constant feeling that I was "at war" either. On to Day 300.
Next 200 Days, life started to become good. I was able to be happy. Celebrate wins. Smile. Be joyful. I wasn't fighting with myself of lost. On to Day 500.
Next 500 Days, life started to become great. I was finding my way, wasn't lying, was celebrating that. Was enjoying things I didn't used to enjoy. Found time to look at and celebrate the little things. Happier in these days than I had been in many, many years. Here come's the Comma 1,000
1,000+, a peace has now set in. Everyone has a different experience. I've had a small handful of "craves" in the 3,000 or so days since the comma, but only a few. And honestly those few remind me that I'm winning. Big.
That part of my life is in the past, and I post every day. I find great comfort in knowing that my misery in some small way might be helping winners like you out, because as you can see above, I was pretty miserable and hopeless too. There are better days ahead. If you can somehow look at this misery as "healing" instead of misery, look at it as "this is part of me growing", it might help. But in the end, it is a process. I don't think any of us had an easy ride. If it were easy, no one would be an addict. Again, sir, I'm honored to be on this ride with you. And I promise you, there are better days ahead. Because there are.
Thank you for your description of your journey. It’s crazy how long it takes to heal. I know many ex smokers who are just puzzled when I tell them how much and how long I been suffering since I quit. One guy I work with was a pack a day smoker since he was 14 years old. He’s now 60. He quit and after about a month he has no symptoms or cravings at all. He said the first week was hell but it got better from there. Similar stories from others. Like I mentioned before I had virtually zero symptoms my last 3 stops after many years of dipping. I just blew me away when I got anxious the first day. I thought that it couldn’t possibly be from quitting dip. Glad I found KTC because it validated my symptoms. I’d like to hear more stories from others. It really helps the anxiety knowing I’m not going nuts. Thanks again.
haven’t he from engineer for a while. Hope he didn’t go out and buy a can!!!! I doubt it. Just trying to lure you out. And Mr. Worktowin my hats off to you. You are a quit warrior. Fuck! Sounds like my quit so far. Fucking hard as hell. I do get a break most evenings around 8:00 pm. to bedtime. Guessing it’s the cortisol drop.
Keith0617 1827 5 years ODAAT
-
Day 117.
Unfortunately today feels like there is no end in sight. Anxiety, depression, tingling of the hands and an inner restlessness so all I can do is pace back and forth until it stops. Already wore out myself on the weight bench. It’s raining so I can’t go for a bike ride. Just another day healing from the stupid shit I did to myself. Nobody to blame but me. Life will be good again but just not today.
I promise not to dip today.
-
Day 117.
Unfortunately today feels like there is no end in sight. Anxiety, depression, tingling of the hands and an inner restlessness so all I can do is pace back and forth until it stops. Already wore out myself on the weight bench. It’s raining so I can’t go for a bike ride. Just another day healing from the stupid shit I did to myself. Nobody to blame but me. Life will be good again but just not today.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1828 ODAAT
-
Day 117.
Unfortunately today feels like there is no end in sight. Anxiety, depression, tingling of the hands and an inner restlessness so all I can do is pace back and forth until it stops. Already wore out myself on the weight bench. It’s raining so I can’t go for a bike ride. Just another day healing from the stupid shit I did to myself. Nobody to blame but me. Life will be good again but just not today.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1828 ODAAT
worktowin 3,939. Fall has arrived, before you know it, you'll be shoveling snow. I'm honored to quit with you today.
-
Day 117.
Unfortunately today feels like there is no end in sight. Anxiety, depression, tingling of the hands and an inner restlessness so all I can do is pace back and forth until it stops. Already wore out myself on the weight bench. It’s raining so I can’t go for a bike ride. Just another day healing from the stupid shit I did to myself. Nobody to blame but me. Life will be good again but just not today.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1828 ODAAT
worktowin 3,939. Fall has arrived, before you know it, you'll be shoveling snow. I'm honored to quit with you today.
AJ… 3,825 and I’m with ya in spirit today bro
-
Day 117.
Unfortunately today feels like there is no end in sight. Anxiety, depression, tingling of the hands and an inner restlessness so all I can do is pace back and forth until it stops. Already wore out myself on the weight bench. It’s raining so I can’t go for a bike ride. Just another day healing from the stupid shit I did to myself. Nobody to blame but me. Life will be good again but just not today.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1828 ODAAT
worktowin 3,939. Fall has arrived, before you know it, you'll be shoveling snow. I'm honored to quit with you today.
I used to love winter. There was snowmobiling, ice fishing, hockey, bonfires, drinking and dipping. All that’s left is snowmobiling and ice fishing. Hate getting old. Proud to be quit with all of you.
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Day 117.
Unfortunately today feels like there is no end in sight. Anxiety, depression, tingling of the hands and an inner restlessness so all I can do is pace back and forth until it stops. Already wore out myself on the weight bench. It’s raining so I can’t go for a bike ride. Just another day healing from the stupid shit I did to myself. Nobody to blame but me. Life will be good again but just not today.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1828 ODAAT
worktowin 3,939. Fall has arrived, before you know it, you'll be shoveling snow. I'm honored to quit with you today.
I used to love winter. There was snowmobiling, ice fishing, hockey, bonfires, drinking and dipping. All that’s left is snowmobiling and ice fishing. Hate getting old. Proud to be quit with all of you.
Speaking of old, rumor has it that it is Applejack's (he goes by Shane too) birthday today!
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Day 117.
Unfortunately today feels like there is no end in sight. Anxiety, depression, tingling of the hands and an inner restlessness so all I can do is pace back and forth until it stops. Already wore out myself on the weight bench. It’s raining so I can’t go for a bike ride. Just another day healing from the stupid shit I did to myself. Nobody to blame but me. Life will be good again but just not today.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1828 ODAAT
worktowin 3,939. Fall has arrived, before you know it, you'll be shoveling snow. I'm honored to quit with you today.
AJ… 3,825 and I’m with ya in spirit today bro
I hear from worktowin that it’s your birthday. Happy birthday bud.
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Keith0617 1829 ODAAT
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Keith0617 1829 ODAAT
With you today. No dip for me. 118 days clean.
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Keith0617 1829 ODAAT
With you today. No dip for me. 118 days clean.
Worktowin 3,940. None here today no way no how. No sirs. Enjoy your Saturday.
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Bad day today. Depression and monster cravings. Just can’t find joy in anything. Life is so boring without nicotine. Crazy how it hijacks the pleasure center of the brain. ODAAT.
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Bad day today. Depression and monster cravings. Just can’t find joy in anything. Life is so boring without nicotine. Crazy how it hijacks the pleasure center of the brain. ODAAT.
Dude - there is nothing positive about nicotine. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems.
Keith0617 1830 ODAAT
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Bad day today. Depression and monster cravings. Just can’t find joy in anything. Life is so boring without nicotine. Crazy how it hijacks the pleasure center of the brain. ODAAT.
Dude - there is nothing positive about nicotine. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems.
Keith0617 1830 ODAAT
Day 119
Another day with bad anxiety. Just a general feeling of fear. Not attached fear but just fearful. Why does this happen for so long? I just don’t get it.
I still promise not to dip today.
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Bad day today. Depression and monster cravings. Just can’t find joy in anything. Life is so boring without nicotine. Crazy how it hijacks the pleasure center of the brain. ODAAT.
Dude - there is nothing positive about nicotine. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems.
Keith0617 1830 ODAAT
Day 119
Another day with bad anxiety. Just a general feeling of fear. Not attached fear but just fearful. Why does this happen for so long? I just don’t get it.
I still promise not to dip today.
3,941. One foot in front of the other, Steve. Tough times never last. Tough people do.
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Day 120
No progress. Feel horrible again but I’m still dip free. I promise myself no dip today.
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Day 120
No progress. Feel horrible again but I’m still dip free. I promise myself no dip today.
Anyone have morning adrenaline that scares you awake?
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Day 120
No progress. Feel horrible again but I’m still dip free. I promise myself no dip today.
Anyone have morning adrenaline that scares you awake?
Keith0617 1831 ODAAT. Nope
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Day 120
No progress. Feel horrible again but I’m still dip free. I promise myself no dip today.
Anyone have morning adrenaline that scares you awake?
Keith0617 1831 ODAAT. Nope
How about back when you were in the trenches of withdrawal?
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Day 120
No progress. Feel horrible again but I’m still dip free. I promise myself no dip today.
Anyone have morning adrenaline that scares you awake?
Keith0617 1831 ODAAT. Nope
How about back when you were in the trenches of withdrawal?
Any of you vets care to share your withdrawal symptoms from say the first couple hundred days or the first year like worktowin did?
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Day 120
No progress. Feel horrible again but I’m still dip free. I promise myself no dip today.
Anyone have morning adrenaline that scares you awake?
Keith0617 1831 ODAAT. Nope
How about back when you were in the trenches of withdrawal?
Any of you vets care to share your withdrawal symptoms from say the first couple hundred days or the first year like worktowin did?
worktowin 3,942. No withdrawal symptoms today, but having having one hell of a Monday for what its worth.
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Day 120
No progress. Feel horrible again but I’m still dip free. I promise myself no dip today.
Anyone have morning adrenaline that scares you awake?
Keith0617 1831 ODAAT. Nope
How about back when you were in the trenches of withdrawal?
Any of you vets care to share your withdrawal symptoms from say the first couple hundred days or the first year like worktowin did?
worktowin 3,942. No withdrawal symptoms today, but having having one hell of a Monday for what its worth.
Good to hear that you’re having no withdrawals. I wish I wasn’t but unfortunately for me it’s not been a good day. Lots of anxiety going on in my head. It’s hard to endure but I will not cave to the nic bitch. If I could get past this anxiety I’d have this shit beat but every day is just more anxiety.
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Day 121
Promise not to dip today. Woke to same anxiety and depression. No change.
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Day 121
Promise not to dip today. Woke to same anxiety and depression. No change.
3,943. I just dumped a large cup of coffee on my, let’s just say delicate area. I’d trade with ya today dipchit! But I’m still quit in a major way!!
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Day 121
Promise not to dip today. Woke to same anxiety and depression. No change.
3,943. I just dumped a large cup of coffee on my, let’s just say delicate area. I’d trade with ya today dipchit! But I’m still quit in a major way!!
Quit with you, bro!
AJ… 3,829
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Day 121
Promise not to dip today. Woke to same anxiety and depression. No change.
3,943. I just dumped a large cup of coffee on my, let’s just say delicate area. I’d trade with ya today dipchit! But I’m still quit in a major way!!
Quit with you, bro!
AJ… 3,829
Sorry to hear about the coffee. I think I would trade because now I’m having really bad anxiety. Very fearful. This shit has to stop. I don’t how much more I can take. It’s been 121 days. WTF?
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Day 121
Promise not to dip today. Woke to same anxiety and depression. No change.
3,943. I just dumped a large cup of coffee on my, let’s just say delicate area. I’d trade with ya today dipchit! But I’m still quit in a major way!!
Quit with you, bro!
AJ… 3,829
Sorry to hear about the coffee. I think I would trade because now I’m having really bad anxiety. Very fearful. This shit has to stop. I don’t how much more I can take. It’s been 121 days. WTF?
Strongly, strongly suggest that you talk to either a therapist or your physician. There are anti anxiety drugs that aren't addictive that might be able to help you get over this hump, and talking to a therapist can also help you get your mind to a different spot. None of these are actions are signs of weakness, rather they are signs of strength. Use whatever tool you have availalble to get you over this hump.
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Day 121
Promise not to dip today. Woke to same anxiety and depression. No change.
3,943. I just dumped a large cup of coffee on my, let’s just say delicate area. I’d trade with ya today dipchit! But I’m still quit in a major way!!
Quit with you, bro!
AJ… 3,829
Sorry to hear about the coffee. I think I would trade because now I’m having really bad anxiety. Very fearful. This shit has to stop. I don’t how much more I can take. It’s been 121 days. WTF?
Strongly, strongly suggest that you talk to either a therapist or your physician. There are anti anxiety drugs that aren't addictive that might be able to help you get over this hump, and talking to a therapist can also help you get your mind to a different spot. None of these are actions are signs of weakness, rather they are signs of strength. Use whatever tool you have availalble to get you over this hump.
2,725 - with you for the next 24 hours. ODAAT
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Day 121
Promise not to dip today. Woke to same anxiety and depression. No change.
3,943. I just dumped a large cup of coffee on my, let’s just say delicate area. I’d trade with ya today dipchit! But I’m still quit in a major way!!
Quit with you, bro!
AJ… 3,829
Sorry to hear about the coffee. I think I would trade because now I’m having really bad anxiety. Very fearful. This shit has to stop. I don’t how much more I can take. It’s been 121 days. WTF?
Strongly, strongly suggest that you talk to either a therapist or your physician. There are anti anxiety drugs that aren't addictive that might be able to help you get over this hump, and talking to a therapist can also help you get your mind to a different spot. None of these are actions are signs of weakness, rather they are signs of strength. Use whatever tool you have availalble to get you over this hump.
2,725 - with you for the next 24 hours. ODAAT
Keith0617 1832 ODAAT
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Day 121
Promise not to dip today. Woke to same anxiety and depression. No change.
3,943. I just dumped a large cup of coffee on my, let’s just say delicate area. I’d trade with ya today dipchit! But I’m still quit in a major way!!
Quit with you, bro!
AJ… 3,829
Sorry to hear about the coffee. I think I would trade because now I’m having really bad anxiety. Very fearful. This shit has to stop. I don’t how much more I can take. It’s been 121 days. WTF?
Strongly, strongly suggest that you talk to either a therapist or your physician. There are anti anxiety drugs that aren't addictive that might be able to help you get over this hump, and talking to a therapist can also help you get your mind to a different spot. None of these are actions are signs of weakness, rather they are signs of strength. Use whatever tool you have availalble to get you over this hump.
2,725 - with you for the next 24 hours. ODAAT
Thanks worktowin for the advice. I took 1000mg of vitamin C and 600mg of Ashwagandha and I’m starting to calm down. I don’t know if it’s a placebo effect or real but in any case my brain is calming and I’ll take it. Last night at around 6:30 my anxiety was nearly gone for the rest of the evening and it felt sooooooo good. I got a few things done around the house and had a calm dinner with my wife. It was back this morning though. As long as there is breaks in the action I hate to go on medication but I’ll keep it in mind. Proud to be quit with all you.
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Day 122
No sugar coating. Still in hell. Woke up with burning anxiety and tingling in both arms and hands. Head pressure and butterflies in the gut. I promise not to dip today.
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Day 122
No sugar coating. Still in hell. Woke up with burning anxiety and tingling in both arms and hands. Head pressure and butterflies in the gut. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1833 ODAAT
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Day 122
No sugar coating. Still in hell. Woke up with burning anxiety and tingling in both arms and hands. Head pressure and butterflies in the gut. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1833 ODAAT
MN/2,726 - QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 122
No sugar coating. Still in hell. Woke up with burning anxiety and tingling in both arms and hands. Head pressure and butterflies in the gut. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1833 ODAAT
MN/2,726 - QLAMF ODAAT
Today I quit one hour at a time. No nic bitch can tempt me. I have been through fire and brimstone and the symptoms are so bad that there is no possible way they could get any worse so FUCK YOU nicotine. I am kicking your ass.
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Day 122
No sugar coating. Still in hell. Woke up with burning anxiety and tingling in both arms and hands. Head pressure and butterflies in the gut. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1833 ODAAT
MN/2,726 - QLAMF ODAAT
Today I quit one hour at a time. No nic bitch can tempt me. I have been through fire and brimstone and the symptoms are so bad that there is no possible way they could get any worse so FUCK YOU nicotine. I am kicking your ass.
Your battle is not in vain. Any win, no matter how small, is building your quit stronger. Your tenaciousness and determination inspire folks like me to never get complacent and to continue to do what we can to support those going through the rough patches. You are winning. I am winning. Our quits are stronger together.
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Day 122
No sugar coating. Still in hell. Woke up with burning anxiety and tingling in both arms and hands. Head pressure and butterflies in the gut. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1833 ODAAT
MN/2,726 - QLAMF ODAAT
Today I quit one hour at a time. No nic bitch can tempt me. I have been through fire and brimstone and the symptoms are so bad that there is no possible way they could get any worse so FUCK YOU nicotine. I am kicking your ass.
Your battle is not in vain. Any win, no matter how small, is building your quit stronger. Your tenaciousness and determination inspire folks like me to never get complacent and to continue to do what we can to support those going through the rough patches. You are winning. I am winning. Our quits are stronger together.
Reading this thread is the highlight of my day Gentlemen. Holy cow this is good stuff. What an honor to be on this team!!
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Day 123.
Sorry about the he foul language but I hate the nic bitch with all the fiber in my body. Feeling a little less anxious and depressed today but I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch. One hour at a time. One day at a time. Today I promise myself that I will not dip.
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Day 123.
Sorry about the he foul language but I hate the nic bitch with all the fiber in my body. Feeling a little less anxious and depressed today but I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch. One hour at a time. One day at a time. Today I promise myself that I will not dip.
3,745. Same promise here. Dear friend of mine has a dad that is going on hospice today with cancer. Really glad that we all make the decision to not do that to ourselves purposely each day. Reminded of what my brother went through with tongue cancer, no thank you! Honored to quit with this esteemed group.
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Day 123.
Sorry about the he foul language but I hate the nic bitch with all the fiber in my body. Feeling a little less anxious and depressed today but I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch. One hour at a time. One day at a time. Today I promise myself that I will not dip.
3,745. Same promise here. Dear friend of mine has a dad that is going on hospice today with cancer. Really glad that we all make the decision to not do that to ourselves purposely each day. Reminded of what my brother went through with tongue cancer, no thank you! Honored to quit with this esteemed group.
2,727 with dipchit and everyone here TODAY
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Day 123.
Sorry about the he foul language but I hate the nic bitch with all the fiber in my body. Feeling a little less anxious and depressed today but I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch. One hour at a time. One day at a time. Today I promise myself that I will not dip.
3,745. Same promise here. Dear friend of mine has a dad that is going on hospice today with cancer. Really glad that we all make the decision to not do that to ourselves purposely each day. Reminded of what my brother went through with tongue cancer, no thank you! Honored to quit with this esteemed group.
2,727 with dipchit and everyone here TODAY
Keith0617 1834 ODAAT
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Day 124.
Feeling a little bit better this morning. Mind storm is calmer. Hopefully it. Continues. Still no enjoyment in anything but that should return in time.
Glad to be quit with you all.
I promise not to dip today.
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Day 124.
Feeling a little bit better this morning. Mind storm is calmer. Hopefully it. Continues. Still no enjoyment in anything but that should return in time.
Glad to be quit with you all.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,728 with you on this rainy Friday. Happy to hear things are better than yesterday.
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Day 124.
Feeling a little bit better this morning. Mind storm is calmer. Hopefully it. Continues. Still no enjoyment in anything but that should return in time.
Glad to be quit with you all.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,728 with you on this rainy Friday. Happy to hear things are better than yesterday.
Keith0617 1835 ODAAT
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Day 124.
Feeling a little bit better this morning. Mind storm is calmer. Hopefully it. Continues. Still no enjoyment in anything but that should return in time.
Glad to be quit with you all.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,728 with you on this rainy Friday. Happy to hear things are better than yesterday.
Keith0617 1835 ODAAT
worktowin 3,746. Fall is upon us. Cooling down here in the Midwest. Looking forward to the weekend. Quit with you, man. One foot in front of the other. The wins are stacking up.
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Day 124.
Feeling a little bit better this morning. Mind storm is calmer. Hopefully it. Continues. Still no enjoyment in anything but that should return in time.
Glad to be quit with you all.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,728 with you on this rainy Friday. Happy to hear things are better than yesterday.
Keith0617 1835 ODAAT
worktowin 3,746. Fall is upon us. Cooling down here in the Midwest. Looking forward to the weekend. Quit with you, man. One foot in front of the other. The wins are stacking up.
Just went through a couple hours of intense vertigo along with some anxiety. It’s calming again but now I feel a little shell shocked. Also left me with a bad headache. It’s crazy how this healing process works.
I went through Benzodiazepine withdrawal that lasted nearly 4 years. I went into what is called Protracted Withdrawal. It was hell on earth and actually it was worse than nicotine withdrawal. Unfortunately because I was so relieved that it was over and also thinking that I would never have to go through any kind of withdrawal again I was really blindsided by nicotine withdrawal. I didn’t know there was even such a thing because my last few stops back in the 90s and 2005 had no withdrawal at all. It feels similar to benzodiazepine withdrawal but the anxiety isn’t quite as strong and minus the seizures. I had 3 of them during early benzo withdrawal. Not downplaying nicotine withdrawal, it’s bad and it sucks. Glad to be quit with you all.
ODAAT.
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3,947. Celebrating the weekend without nicotine!!
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3,947. Celebrating the weekend without nicotine!!
Keith0617 1836 ODAAT a day full of rain here in MD
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3,947. Celebrating the weekend without nicotine!!
Keith0617 1836 ODAAT a day full of rain here in MD
MN/2,729 with dipchit TODAY
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3,947. Celebrating the weekend without nicotine!!Day 125
Feeling better but still flat. It’s progress. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1836 ODAAT a day full of rain here in MD
MN/2,729 with dipchit TODAY
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Day 125. My quit is safe today because I promised myself not to dip today.
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Day 125. My quit is safe today because I promised myself not to dip today.
If you type it here, your promise is to more than just yourself.
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Worktowin 3,948. My buddy’s dad passed away yesterday. Today I promise no nicotine. Way too much cancer in the world to tempt that fate. Honored to quit with this team of bad asses.
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Worktowin 3,948. My buddy’s dad passed away yesterday. Today I promise no nicotine. Way too much cancer in the world to tempt that fate. Honored to quit with this team of bad asses.
Day 126.
I promise not to dip today. Sorry for your buddy’s loss.
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Worktowin 3,948. My buddy’s dad passed away yesterday. Today I promise no nicotine. Way too much cancer in the world to tempt that fate. Honored to quit with this team of bad asses.
Day 126.
I promise not to dip today. Sorry for your buddy’s loss.
Keith0617 1837 ODAAT Sending positive vibes to you and your friend @worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436)
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Worktowin 3,948. My buddy’s dad passed away yesterday. Today I promise no nicotine. Way too much cancer in the world to tempt that fate. Honored to quit with this team of bad asses.
Day 126.
I promise not to dip today. Sorry for your buddy’s loss.
Keith0617 1837 ODAAT Sending positive vibes to you and your friend @worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436)
MN/2,730 - quit for the next 24 with all here
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Day 127
Feeling a little better but mood is flat. Still not much joy in anything but it’s better than intense anxiety and depression.
My promise is to not dip today.
Thanks for being here guys.
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Day 127
Feeling a little better but mood is flat. Still not much joy in anything but it’s better than intense anxiety and depression.
My promise is to not dip today.
Thanks for being here guys.
MN/2,731 not all wins provides a warm and fuzzy. your body is healing and know that even ugly wins are progress. QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 127
Feeling a little better but mood is flat. Still not much joy in anything but it’s better than intense anxiety and depression.
My promise is to not dip today.
Thanks for being here guys.
MN/2,731 not all wins provides a warm and fuzzy. your body is healing and know that even ugly wins are progress. QLAMF ODAAT
Keith0617 1838 ODAAT
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Day 127
Feeling a little better but mood is flat. Still not much joy in anything but it’s better than intense anxiety and depression.
My promise is to not dip today.
Thanks for being here guys.
MN/2,731 not all wins provides a warm and fuzzy. your body is healing and know that even ugly wins are progress. QLAMF ODAAT
Keith0617 1838 ODAAT
worktowin 3,949. I'm having a Monday.
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Day 128
Still feeling flat, no joy and life is boring without dip but I promise not to dip today.
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Day 128
Still feeling flat, no joy and life is boring without dip but I promise not to dip today.
2,732 - was the fact that dip/nicotine was actively trying to kill you each day when using what made life not boring? I get that it can be hard to find enjoyment in things without a crutch we've relied on for so many years/decades. But part of quitting is learning to find pleasure in things without nicotine. I never thought I could mow the grass again or play Xbox without a dip. Today, I'll mow without thinking about it once. That being said, I've since quit playing Xbox because it was linked so heavily to my dipping that I was only playing for an excuse to stay up late and dip. Your quit is an opportunity to find new things to enjoy that don't involve poisoning yourself.
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Day 128
Still feeling flat, no joy and life is boring without dip but I promise not to dip today.
2,732 - was the fact that dip/nicotine was actively trying to kill you each day when using what made life not boring? I get that it can be hard to find enjoyment in things without a crutch we've relied on for so many years/decades. But part of quitting is learning to find pleasure in things without nicotine. I never thought I could mow the grass again or play Xbox without a dip. Today, I'll mow without thinking about it once. That being said, I've since quit playing Xbox because it was linked so heavily to my dipping that I was only playing for an excuse to stay up late and dip. Your quit is an opportunity to find new things to enjoy that don't involve poisoning yourself.
worktowin 3,950. I find the whole experience of having my life run by a substance that is a known carcinogen absolutely disgusting. When I see people buying it at the convenience store, I want to scream at them. But, you know that doesn't do any good. I'm a happy very covering addict who has zero desire to romanticize that part of my life any longer. My first post on this board was something to the effect that "the bear and I shared a lot of good times together." That, my friends, was the addict in me talking. That was not a fact. QUIT
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Day 128
Still feeling flat, no joy and life is boring without dip but I promise not to dip today.
2,732 - was the fact that dip/nicotine was actively trying to kill you each day when using what made life not boring? I get that it can be hard to find enjoyment in things without a crutch we've relied on for so many years/decades. But part of quitting is learning to find pleasure in things without nicotine. I never thought I could mow the grass again or play Xbox without a dip. Today, I'll mow without thinking about it once. That being said, I've since quit playing Xbox because it was linked so heavily to my dipping that I was only playing for an excuse to stay up late and dip. Your quit is an opportunity to find new things to enjoy that don't involve poisoning yourself.
worktowin 3,950. I find the whole experience of having my life run by a substance that is a known carcinogen absolutely disgusting. When I see people buying it at the convenience store, I want to scream at them. But, you know that doesn't do any good. I'm a happy very covering addict who has zero desire to romanticize that part of my life any longer. My first post on this board was something to the effect that "the bear and I shared a lot of good times together." That, my friends, was the addict in me talking. That was not a fact. QUIT
Yes it’s a total rewire of the brain. I dipped during most of my day. Mowing, Hunting, Fishing, At work, You name it but I understand that joy will return but it just takes time. I have done it 3 times before this but without the withdrawal.
It still baffles me how I didn’t have any withdrawal the other previous stops.
Thanks for being here with me. It really means a lot and it helps a lot.
ODAAT.
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Day 128
Still feeling flat, no joy and life is boring without dip but I promise not to dip today.
2,732 - was the fact that dip/nicotine was actively trying to kill you each day when using what made life not boring? I get that it can be hard to find enjoyment in things without a crutch we've relied on for so many years/decades. But part of quitting is learning to find pleasure in things without nicotine. I never thought I could mow the grass again or play Xbox without a dip. Today, I'll mow without thinking about it once. That being said, I've since quit playing Xbox because it was linked so heavily to my dipping that I was only playing for an excuse to stay up late and dip. Your quit is an opportunity to find new things to enjoy that don't involve poisoning yourself.
worktowin 3,950. I find the whole experience of having my life run by a substance that is a known carcinogen absolutely disgusting. When I see people buying it at the convenience store, I want to scream at them. But, you know that doesn't do any good. I'm a happy very covering addict who has zero desire to romanticize that part of my life any longer. My first post on this board was something to the effect that "the bear and I shared a lot of good times together." That, my friends, was the addict in me talking. That was not a fact. QUIT
I’m absolutely hearing some “Romancing the Dip” going on. No real shade, brother… we ALL did it to one degree or another. I think this is where your biggest hurdle is right now… you HAVE to flip that mindset. It’s dragging you down and feeding the beast of your mental struggles right now. 100%. You stick around too long there and failure is imminent. You’ve worked too hard to let that happen.
Dip. Did. Nothing. For. You.
It didn’t make life better.
It didn’t make you better.
It didn’t help your focus.
It wired your brain funky.
It skewed your perceptions.
It ruined your integrity.
It made you lie and hide it.
It stold your life.
No joy and a boring life without it?
Wrong.
That needs buried.
Now.
The longer you let that mindset roll… well, realize it’s still poisoning you.
Be. Quit.
It’s doesn’t deserve one more piece of your life.
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Day 128
Still feeling flat, no joy and life is boring without dip but I promise not to dip today.
2,732 - was the fact that dip/nicotine was actively trying to kill you each day when using what made life not boring? I get that it can be hard to find enjoyment in things without a crutch we've relied on for so many years/decades. But part of quitting is learning to find pleasure in things without nicotine. I never thought I could mow the grass again or play Xbox without a dip. Today, I'll mow without thinking about it once. That being said, I've since quit playing Xbox because it was linked so heavily to my dipping that I was only playing for an excuse to stay up late and dip. Your quit is an opportunity to find new things to enjoy that don't involve poisoning yourself.
worktowin 3,950. I find the whole experience of having my life run by a substance that is a known carcinogen absolutely disgusting. When I see people buying it at the convenience store, I want to scream at them. But, you know that doesn't do any good. I'm a happy very covering addict who has zero desire to romanticize that part of my life any longer. My first post on this board was something to the effect that "the bear and I shared a lot of good times together." That, my friends, was the addict in me talking. That was not a fact. QUIT
I’m absolutely hearing some “Romancing the Dip” going on. No real shade, brother… we ALL did it to one degree or another. I think this is where your biggest hurdle is right now… you HAVE to flip that mindset. It’s dragging you down and feeding the beast of your mental struggles right now. 100%. You stick around too long there and failure is imminent. You’ve worked too hard to let that happen.
Dip. Did. Nothing. For. You.
It didn’t make life better.
It didn’t make you better.
It didn’t help your focus.
It wired your brain funky.
It skewed your perceptions.
It ruined your integrity.
It made you lie and hide it.
It stold your life.
No joy and a boring life without it?
Wrong.
That needs buried.
Now.
The longer you let that mindset roll… well, realize it’s still poisoning you.
Be. Quit.
It’s doesn’t deserve one more piece of your life.
Keith0617 1839 ODAAT
So doing something that will rot your face off and kill you makes life exciting???? You keep romanticizing dip. That is a huge mistake.
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Day 128
Still feeling flat, no joy and life is boring without dip but I promise not to dip today.
2,732 - was the fact that dip/nicotine was actively trying to kill you each day when using what made life not boring? I get that it can be hard to find enjoyment in things without a crutch we've relied on for so many years/decades. But part of quitting is learning to find pleasure in things without nicotine. I never thought I could mow the grass again or play Xbox without a dip. Today, I'll mow without thinking about it once. That being said, I've since quit playing Xbox because it was linked so heavily to my dipping that I was only playing for an excuse to stay up late and dip. Your quit is an opportunity to find new things to enjoy that don't involve poisoning yourself.
worktowin 3,950. I find the whole experience of having my life run by a substance that is a known carcinogen absolutely disgusting. When I see people buying it at the convenience store, I want to scream at them. But, you know that doesn't do any good. I'm a happy very covering addict who has zero desire to romanticize that part of my life any longer. My first post on this board was something to the effect that "the bear and I shared a lot of good times together." That, my friends, was the addict in me talking. That was not a fact. QUIT
I’m absolutely hearing some “Romancing the Dip” going on. No real shade, brother… we ALL did it to one degree or another. I think this is where your biggest hurdle is right now… you HAVE to flip that mindset. It’s dragging you down and feeding the beast of your mental struggles right now. 100%. You stick around too long there and failure is imminent. You’ve worked too hard to let that happen.
Dip. Did. Nothing. For. You.
It didn’t make life better.
It didn’t make you better.
It didn’t help your focus.
It wired your brain funky.
It skewed your perceptions.
It ruined your integrity.
It made you lie and hide it.
It stold your life.
No joy and a boring life without it?
Wrong.
That needs buried.
Now.
The longer you let that mindset roll… well, realize it’s still poisoning you.
Be. Quit.
It’s doesn’t deserve one more piece of your life.
Keith0617 1839 ODAAT
So doing something that will rot your face off and kill you makes life exciting???? You keep romanticizing dip. That is a huge mistake.
I’m just letting you all know what is happening in my mind.
I know I will be a much better person without dip. It is a known scientific fact that nicotine releases dopamine and that makes us feel all warm and fuzzy and without it the brain gets cranky and punishes you for not feeding the need. It takes quite some time for the brain to adapt itself to life without nicotine but once it does then natural pleasure comes back. It’s just my injured brain screaming for nicotine but my logical side knows better. I have been through this before with alcohol so I know how this works. I’m not weak and I will not cave. My quit is safe today and my craves are still alive but they are getting weaker. Thanks guys.
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Day 128
Still feeling flat, no joy and life is boring without dip but I promise not to dip today.
2,732 - was the fact that dip/nicotine was actively trying to kill you each day when using what made life not boring? I get that it can be hard to find enjoyment in things without a crutch we've relied on for so many years/decades. But part of quitting is learning to find pleasure in things without nicotine. I never thought I could mow the grass again or play Xbox without a dip. Today, I'll mow without thinking about it once. That being said, I've since quit playing Xbox because it was linked so heavily to my dipping that I was only playing for an excuse to stay up late and dip. Your quit is an opportunity to find new things to enjoy that don't involve poisoning yourself.
worktowin 3,950. I find the whole experience of having my life run by a substance that is a known carcinogen absolutely disgusting. When I see people buying it at the convenience store, I want to scream at them. But, you know that doesn't do any good. I'm a happy very covering addict who has zero desire to romanticize that part of my life any longer. My first post on this board was something to the effect that "the bear and I shared a lot of good times together." That, my friends, was the addict in me talking. That was not a fact. QUIT
I’m absolutely hearing some “Romancing the Dip” going on. No real shade, brother… we ALL did it to one degree or another. I think this is where your biggest hurdle is right now… you HAVE to flip that mindset. It’s dragging you down and feeding the beast of your mental struggles right now. 100%. You stick around too long there and failure is imminent. You’ve worked too hard to let that happen.
Dip. Did. Nothing. For. You.
It didn’t make life better.
It didn’t make you better.
It didn’t help your focus.
It wired your brain funky.
It skewed your perceptions.
It ruined your integrity.
It made you lie and hide it.
It stold your life.
No joy and a boring life without it?
Wrong.
That needs buried.
Now.
The longer you let that mindset roll… well, realize it’s still poisoning you.
Be. Quit.
It’s doesn’t deserve one more piece of your life.
Keith0617 1839 ODAAT
So doing something that will rot your face off and kill you makes life exciting???? You keep romanticizing dip. That is a huge mistake.
I’m just letting you all know what is happening in my mind.
I know I will be a much better person without dip. It is a known scientific fact that nicotine releases dopamine and that makes us feel all warm and fuzzy and without it the brain gets cranky and punishes you for not feeding the need. It takes quite some time for the brain to adapt itself to life without nicotine but once it does then natural pleasure comes back. It’s just my injured brain screaming for nicotine but my logical side knows better. I have been through this before with alcohol so I know how this works. I’m not weak and I will not cave. My quit is safe today and my craves are still alive but they are getting weaker. Thanks guys.
Blogging it out is certainly beneficial. Our job while you are still in the fog is to call out addict speak and concerning behavior as we detect it. It's the accountability aspect here that makes it our responsibility. We are going to tell you things that may piss you off but at some point you will look back and it will all make sense.
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Worktowin 3,951. It is an honor to quit with you.
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Worktowin 3,951. It is an honor to quit with you.
Day 129
Not feeling to bad this morning. Actually looking forward to my project at work today. My grandson will be staying at our house tonight and looking forward to that too. No anxiety whatsoever this morning. Hope this trend continues.
Honor to be quit with all of you. No dip for me today.
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Worktowin 3,951. It is an honor to quit with you.
Day 129
Not feeling to bad this morning. Actually looking forward to my project at work today. My grandson will be staying at our house tonight and looking forward to that too. No anxiety whatsoever this morning. Hope this trend continues.
Honored to be quit with all of you. No dip for me today.
There's a lot of great here in what you wrote. Sounds like you are lucky to have a job that you like. A grandson that brings you joy. A day that is starting on a positive note. And a day when you are committed to quit a nasty dangerous expensive and deceitful addiction. Hella yeah to all of that, broski. This is a good day!
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Worktowin 3,951. It is an honor to quit with you.
Day 129
Not feeling to bad this morning. Actually looking forward to my project at work today. My grandson will be staying at our house tonight and looking forward to that too. No anxiety whatsoever this morning. Hope this trend continues.
Honored to be quit with all of you. No dip for me today.
There's a lot of great here in what you wrote. Sounds like you are lucky to have a job that you like. A grandson that brings you joy. A day that is starting on a positive note. And a day when you are committed to quit a nasty dangerous expensive and deceitful addiction. Hella yeah to all of that, broski. This is a good day!
MN/2,733 with you all TODAY
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Worktowin 3,951. It is an honor to quit with you.
Day 129
Not feeling to bad this morning. Actually looking forward to my project at work today. My grandson will be staying at our house tonight and looking forward to that too. No anxiety whatsoever this morning. Hope this trend continues.
Honored to be quit with all of you. No dip for me today.
There's a lot of great here in what you wrote. Sounds like you are lucky to have a job that you like. A grandson that brings you joy. A day that is starting on a positive note. And a day when you are committed to quit a nasty dangerous expensive and deceitful addiction. Hella yeah to all of that, broski. This is a good day!
MN/2,733 with you all TODAY
Yes this is a good day. No craves and no waves. Fuck nicotine.
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Worktowin 3,951. It is an honor to quit with you.
Day 129
Not feeling to bad this morning. Actually looking forward to my project at work today. My grandson will be staying at our house tonight and looking forward to that too. No anxiety whatsoever this morning. Hope this trend continues.
Honored to be quit with all of you. No dip for me today.
There's a lot of great here in what you wrote. Sounds like you are lucky to have a job that you like. A grandson that brings you joy. A day that is starting on a positive note. And a day when you are committed to quit a nasty dangerous expensive and deceitful addiction. Hella yeah to all of that, broski. This is a good day!
MN/2,733 with you all TODAY
Yes this is a good day. No craves and no waves. Fuck nicotine.
Keith0617 1840 ODAAT
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Worktowin 3,952. Thursday quit in progress! Today I’m gonna wrap up the FY24 budget at work (19 days late) and just had a delightful non healthy but deeeelicious breakfast. The air is crisp. The coffee is hot. The quit is strong. I’m honored to quit with you fine gentlemen today.
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Worktowin 3,952. Thursday quit in progress! Today I’m gonna wrap up the FY24 budget at work (19 days late) and just had a delightful non healthy but deeeelicious breakfast. The air is crisp. The coffee is hot. The quit is strong. I’m honored to quit with you fine gentlemen today.
MN/2,734 with you all TODAY
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Worktowin 3,952. Thursday quit in progress! Today I’m gonna wrap up the FY24 budget at work (19 days late) and just had a delightful non healthy but deeeelicious breakfast. The air is crisp. The coffee is hot. The quit is strong. I’m honored to quit with you fine gentlemen today.
MN/2,734 with you all TODAY
Day 130
Feeling a little flat but I feel I’m definitely healing. Today is a great day to promise myself not to dip.
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Worktowin 3,952. Thursday quit in progress! Today I’m gonna wrap up the FY24 budget at work (19 days late) and just had a delightful non healthy but deeeelicious breakfast. The air is crisp. The coffee is hot. The quit is strong. I’m honored to quit with you fine gentlemen today.
MN/2,734 with you all TODAY
Day 130
Feeling a little flat but I feel I’m definitely healing. Today is a great day to promise myself not to dip.
Keith0617 1841 ODDAT 1 more time
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Keith0617 1842 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and the other badass quitters
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Keith0617 1842 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and the other badass quitters
3,953. Coming up on 2 milestones soon, 11 years and 4,000.
I still remember joining this place and feeling hopeless. Having other dudes with a lot more days under their belt telling me.... dude it gets better. I remember thinking, F these guys they don't understand what this is like. It is like constantly fighting a battle but never feeling like I'm taking a step forward. Then, slowly, I started inching forward. DipChit, I feel from your post a couple of days ago that you are starting, slowly, to inch forward. That doesn't mean that the fight is over, but if you remember my timeline I said that at some point the agonizing constant daily battle became easier, and life became "liveable" again if that makes sense. Keep it up, brother. We are here with you and for you. The bad asses on this thread have a long history of picking winners to fight with. You are a winner. And I'll quit with you (and them) today.
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Keith0617 1842 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and the other badass quitters
3,953. Coming up on 2 milestones soon, 11 years and 4,000.
I still remember joining this place and feeling hopeless. Having other dudes with a lot more days under their belt telling me.... dude it gets better. I remember thinking, F these guys they don't understand what this is like. It is like constantly fighting a battle but never feeling like I'm taking a step forward. Then, slowly, I started inching forward. DipChit, I feel from your post a couple of days ago that you are starting, slowly, to inch forward. That doesn't mean that the fight is over, but if you remember my timeline I said that at some point the agonizing constant daily battle became easier, and life became "liveable" again if that makes sense. Keep it up, brother. We are here with you and for you. The bad asses on this thread have a long history of picking winners to fight with. You are a winner. And I'll quit with you (and them) today.
Day 131
Thank goodness you guys are here. I feel like shit again. I had to work a night shift last night and I just woke up to the lovely feeling of dread and fear with a killer headache but I know it’s the nic bitch trying to fuck with me and convince me to dip. That ain’t gonna happen!!!!!! Thanks to you all for being here and a congrats to you Michael for your upcoming milestone. When you quit I had a little over 7 years into my stop. Wish I never would have took that dreadful dip 4 years ago. Too late now.
I promise not to dip today.
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Keith0617 1842 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and the other badass quitters
3,953. Coming up on 2 milestones soon, 11 years and 4,000.
I still remember joining this place and feeling hopeless. Having other dudes with a lot more days under their belt telling me.... dude it gets better. I remember thinking, F these guys they don't understand what this is like. It is like constantly fighting a battle but never feeling like I'm taking a step forward. Then, slowly, I started inching forward. DipChit, I feel from your post a couple of days ago that you are starting, slowly, to inch forward. That doesn't mean that the fight is over, but if you remember my timeline I said that at some point the agonizing constant daily battle became easier, and life became "liveable" again if that makes sense. Keep it up, brother. We are here with you and for you. The bad asses on this thread have a long history of picking winners to fight with. You are a winner. And I'll quit with you (and them) today.
Day 131
Thank goodness you guys are here. I feel like shit again. I had to work a night shift last night and I just woke up to the lovely feeling of dread and fear with a killer headache but I know it’s the nic bitch trying to fuck with me and convince me to dip. That ain’t gonna happen!!!!!! Thanks to you all for being here and a congrats to you Michael for your upcoming milestone. When you quit I had a little over 7 years into my stop. Wish I never would have took that dreadful dip 4 years ago. Too late now.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,735 with Dipchit and y'all TODAY
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Worktowin 3,954. So happy to not be hiding and lying to get my fix on this beautiful weekend morning. And honored to share this win with you fine quitters.
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Worktowin 3,954. So happy to not be hiding and lying to get my fix on this beautiful weekend morning. And honored to share this win with you fine quitters.
Day 132
Depression is the theme of today but still glad I gave up the cat turds in a can. Thanks for being here you guys. I will definitely not dip today.
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Worktowin 3,954. So happy to not be hiding and lying to get my fix on this beautiful weekend morning. And honored to share this win with you fine quitters.
Day 132
Depression is the theme of today but still glad I gave up the cat turds in a can. Thanks for being here you guys. I will definitely not dip today.
MN/2,736 with Dipchit and everyone here TODAY
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Worktowin 3,954. So happy to not be hiding and lying to get my fix on this beautiful weekend morning. And honored to share this win with you fine quitters.
Day 132
Depression is the theme of today but still glad I gave up the cat turds in a can. Thanks for being here you guys. I will definitely not dip today.
MN/2,736 with Dipchit and everyone here TODAY
Keith0617 1843 ODAAT
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Keith0617 1844 ODAAT. @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) get in here and post that promise
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Keith0617 1844 ODAAT. @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) get in here and post that promise
MN/2,737 this is my promise for the next 24 hours
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Keith0617 1844 ODAAT. @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) get in here and post that promise
MN/2,737 this is my promise for the next 24 hours
Don’t pay the ransom, I escaped. But really I over slept. I was up working in the garage til 2:00 AM.
Day 133 and I promise that today I will not dip. ODAAT.
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Day 134
No dip today and that’s my promise.
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Day 134
No dip today and that’s my promise.
Still dealing with anxiety.
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Day 134
No dip today and that’s my promise.
Still dealing with anxiety.
Keith0617 1845 ODAAT
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Day 134
No dip today and that’s my promise.
Still dealing with anxiety.
Keith0617 1845 ODAAT
MN/2,738 - no shit will touch this lip TODAY.
I never dealt with anxiety when I quit but years afterwards, I started to struggle with anxiety spawned from factors other than nicotine. I've struggled with it to varying degrees so I can empathize with what you are going through. I tried to manage on my own but eventually decided (with lengthy persuasion from my wife) to try the therapy route. There is certainly stigma around mental health and seeking therapy esp as guys since we are suppose to be tough and just deal with shit. But for me, it certainly helped and while I still deal with anxiety on occasion, I have tools to combat it and typically it's less intense than when it started.
I know your wife/family doesn't know about your nicotine addition, but how aware are they of your struggles with anxiety? Regardless, therapy might be a option to consider. My guy helped me understand which struggles and reactions were valid and which ones I needed to work on. No shame getting additional help. Hell you are here with a bunch of internet 'strangers' fighting this one battle ODAAT. Get more people in your corner to navigate these hurdles.
Your grit and determination continues to inspire me. Keep up the solid quit brother.
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Day 134
No dip today and that’s my promise.
Still dealing with anxiety.
Keith0617 1845 ODAAT
MN/2,738 - no shit will touch this lip TODAY.
I never dealt with anxiety when I quit but years afterwards, I started to struggle with anxiety spawned from factors other than nicotine. I've struggled with it to varying degrees so I can empathize with what you are going through. I tried to manage on my own but eventually decided (with lengthy persuasion from my wife) to try the therapy route. There is certainly stigma around mental health and seeking therapy esp as guys since we are suppose to be tough and just deal with shit. But for me, it certainly helped and while I still deal with anxiety on occasion, I have tools to combat it and typically it's less intense than when it started.
I know your wife/family doesn't know about your nicotine addition, but how aware are they of your struggles with anxiety? Regardless, therapy might be a option to consider. My guy helped me understand which struggles and reactions were valid and which ones I needed to work on. No shame getting additional help. Hell you are here with a bunch of internet 'strangers' fighting this one battle ODAAT. Get more people in your corner to navigate these hurdles.
Your grit and determination continues to inspire me. Keep up the solid quit brother.
worktowin 3,956. ^^^this was a great way to start my day, bro. Thank you for sharing this.
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Day 134
No dip today and that’s my promise.
Still dealing with anxiety.
Keith0617 1845 ODAAT
MN/2,738 - no shit will touch this lip TODAY.
I never dealt with anxiety when I quit but years afterwards, I started to struggle with anxiety spawned from factors other than nicotine. I've struggled with it to varying degrees so I can empathize with what you are going through. I tried to manage on my own but eventually decided (with lengthy persuasion from my wife) to try the therapy route. There is certainly stigma around mental health and seeking therapy esp as guys since we are suppose to be tough and just deal with shit. But for me, it certainly helped and while I still deal with anxiety on occasion, I have tools to combat it and typically it's less intense than when it started.
I know your wife/family doesn't know about your nicotine addition, but how aware are they of your struggles with anxiety? Regardless, therapy might be a option to consider. My guy helped me understand which struggles and reactions were valid and which ones I needed to work on. No shame getting additional help. Hell you are here with a bunch of internet 'strangers' fighting this one battle ODAAT. Get more people in your corner to navigate these hurdles.
Your grit and determination continues to inspire me. Keep up the solid quit brother.
worktowin 3,956. ^^^this was a great way to start my day, bro. Thank you for sharing this.
Well said @MN_Engineer (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=21)
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Day 135. Anxiety.
Anxiety will slowly go away as the brain heals and returns to homeostasis. No medications or talk therapy can heal the brain any faster. Time and only time take care of the symptoms of a cranky brain. Although I do believe in therapy when anxiety is being caused by an outstanding reason such as a death of a loved one or a cheating spouse or a physical attack etc. but no therapy can ever speed up the physical healing process. Although I really appreciate the suggestion I will just grit my teeth and move forward. I have been through Benzodiazepine withdrawal years ago that lasted nearly 4 years and it was agonizing. Severe depression and anxiety was the 2 symptoms that was the worst and all the doctors wanted to do was try this med or that med but I pressed on and once healed life was great. This withdrawal feels very similar but not quite as intense. Don’t get me wrong, nicotine addiction and withdrawal sucks but I will get over this in my own way and it is not going to include any medication or talk therapy because it simply won’t work in this situation. My life outside of nicotine withdrawal is good. I have a great paying job, beautiful wife, wonderful son and daughter in law and also a grandson who I spend lots of quality time with. Nothing in my life is causing anxiety other than a physical injury to my brain. If left alone the brain has amazing healing power.
My promise today is not to dip.
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Day 135. Anxiety.
Anxiety will slowly go away as the brain heals and returns to homeostasis. No medications or talk therapy can heal the brain any faster. Time and only time take care of the symptoms of a cranky brain. Although I do believe in therapy when anxiety is being caused by an outstanding reason such as a death of a loved one or a cheating spouse or a physical attack etc. but no therapy can ever speed up the physical healing process. Although I really appreciate the suggestion I will just grit my teeth and move forward. I have been through Benzodiazepine withdrawal years ago that lasted nearly 4 years and it was agonizing. Severe depression and anxiety was the 2 symptoms that was the worst and all the doctors wanted to do was try this med or that med but I pressed on and once healed life was great. This withdrawal feels very similar but not quite as intense. Don’t get me wrong, nicotine addiction and withdrawal sucks but I will get over this in my own way and it is not going to include any medication or talk therapy because it simply won’t work in this situation. My life outside of nicotine withdrawal is good. I have a great paying job, beautiful wife, wonderful son and daughter in law and also a grandson who I spend lots of quality time with. Nothing in my life is causing anxiety other than a physical injury to my brain. If left alone the brain has amazing healing power.
My promise today is not to dip.
Keith0617 1846 ODAAT
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Day 135. Anxiety.
Anxiety will slowly go away as the brain heals and returns to homeostasis. No medications or talk therapy can heal the brain any faster. Time and only time take care of the symptoms of a cranky brain. Although I do believe in therapy when anxiety is being caused by an outstanding reason such as a death of a loved one or a cheating spouse or a physical attack etc. but no therapy can ever speed up the physical healing process. Although I really appreciate the suggestion I will just grit my teeth and move forward. I have been through Benzodiazepine withdrawal years ago that lasted nearly 4 years and it was agonizing. Severe depression and anxiety was the 2 symptoms that was the worst and all the doctors wanted to do was try this med or that med but I pressed on and once healed life was great. This withdrawal feels very similar but not quite as intense. Don’t get me wrong, nicotine addiction and withdrawal sucks but I will get over this in my own way and it is not going to include any medication or talk therapy because it simply won’t work in this situation. My life outside of nicotine withdrawal is good. I have a great paying job, beautiful wife, wonderful son and daughter in law and also a grandson who I spend lots of quality time with. Nothing in my life is causing anxiety other than a physical injury to my brain. If left alone the brain has amazing healing power.
My promise today is not to dip.
Keith0617 1846 ODAAT
MN/2,739 - I don't know what else to say other than I quit with you TODAY. Keep up the fight.
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Day 135. Anxiety.
Anxiety will slowly go away as the brain heals and returns to homeostasis. No medications or talk therapy can heal the brain any faster. Time and only time take care of the symptoms of a cranky brain. Although I do believe in therapy when anxiety is being caused by an outstanding reason such as a death of a loved one or a cheating spouse or a physical attack etc. but no therapy can ever speed up the physical healing process. Although I really appreciate the suggestion I will just grit my teeth and move forward. I have been through Benzodiazepine withdrawal years ago that lasted nearly 4 years and it was agonizing. Severe depression and anxiety was the 2 symptoms that was the worst and all the doctors wanted to do was try this med or that med but I pressed on and once healed life was great. This withdrawal feels very similar but not quite as intense. Don’t get me wrong, nicotine addiction and withdrawal sucks but I will get over this in my own way and it is not going to include any medication or talk therapy because it simply won’t work in this situation. My life outside of nicotine withdrawal is good. I have a great paying job, beautiful wife, wonderful son and daughter in law and also a grandson who I spend lots of quality time with. Nothing in my life is causing anxiety other than a physical injury to my brain. If left alone the brain has amazing healing power.
My promise today is not to dip.
Keith0617 1846 ODAAT
MN/2,739 - I don't know what else to say other than I quit with you TODAY. Keep up the fight.
It’s all good engineer. You give good advice but I been down this similar path before with Benzodiazepines so I know I’ll be fine. Time is the best healer.
My anxiety is not as strong over all as it used to be. I feel that I want to feel normal so badly that any anxiety whether it’s strong or weak I think it’s bad. What I am struggling with is the ODAAT thing. I keep catching myself looking to the future such as planed events and telling myself that I’ll be fine by then and when that date comes and goes I’m still struggling I get really depressed. That I’m still working on. What really sucks is that as I type this I’m going through a major crave. This sucks.
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Day 135. Anxiety.
Anxiety will slowly go away as the brain heals and returns to homeostasis. No medications or talk therapy can heal the brain any faster. Time and only time take care of the symptoms of a cranky brain. Although I do believe in therapy when anxiety is being caused by an outstanding reason such as a death of a loved one or a cheating spouse or a physical attack etc. but no therapy can ever speed up the physical healing process. Although I really appreciate the suggestion I will just grit my teeth and move forward. I have been through Benzodiazepine withdrawal years ago that lasted nearly 4 years and it was agonizing. Severe depression and anxiety was the 2 symptoms that was the worst and all the doctors wanted to do was try this med or that med but I pressed on and once healed life was great. This withdrawal feels very similar but not quite as intense. Don’t get me wrong, nicotine addiction and withdrawal sucks but I will get over this in my own way and it is not going to include any medication or talk therapy because it simply won’t work in this situation. My life outside of nicotine withdrawal is good. I have a great paying job, beautiful wife, wonderful son and daughter in law and also a grandson who I spend lots of quality time with. Nothing in my life is causing anxiety other than a physical injury to my brain. If left alone the brain has amazing healing power.
My promise today is not to dip.
Keith0617 1846 ODAAT
MN/2,739 - I don't know what else to say other than I quit with you TODAY. Keep up the fight.
It’s all good engineer. You give good advice but I been down this similar path before with Benzodiazepines so I know I’ll be fine. Time is the best healer.
My anxiety is not as strong over all as it used to be. I feel that I want to feel normal so badly that any anxiety whether it’s strong or weak I think it’s bad. What I am struggling with is the ODAAT thing. I keep catching myself looking to the future such as planed events and telling myself that I’ll be fine by then and when that date comes and goes I’m still struggling I get really depressed. That I’m still working on. What really sucks is that as I type this I’m going through a major crave. This sucks.
3,957. I'm with you today bro.
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Day 135. Anxiety.
Anxiety will slowly go away as the brain heals and returns to homeostasis. No medications or talk therapy can heal the brain any faster. Time and only time take care of the symptoms of a cranky brain. Although I do believe in therapy when anxiety is being caused by an outstanding reason such as a death of a loved one or a cheating spouse or a physical attack etc. but no therapy can ever speed up the physical healing process. Although I really appreciate the suggestion I will just grit my teeth and move forward. I have been through Benzodiazepine withdrawal years ago that lasted nearly 4 years and it was agonizing. Severe depression and anxiety was the 2 symptoms that was the worst and all the doctors wanted to do was try this med or that med but I pressed on and once healed life was great. This withdrawal feels very similar but not quite as intense. Don’t get me wrong, nicotine addiction and withdrawal sucks but I will get over this in my own way and it is not going to include any medication or talk therapy because it simply won’t work in this situation. My life outside of nicotine withdrawal is good. I have a great paying job, beautiful wife, wonderful son and daughter in law and also a grandson who I spend lots of quality time with. Nothing in my life is causing anxiety other than a physical injury to my brain. If left alone the brain has amazing healing power.
My promise today is not to dip.
Keith0617 1846 ODAAT
MN/2,739 - I don't know what else to say other than I quit with you TODAY. Keep up the fight.
It’s all good engineer. You give good advice but I been down this similar path before with Benzodiazepines so I know I’ll be fine. Time is the best healer.
My anxiety is not as strong over all as it used to be. I feel that I want to feel normal so badly that any anxiety whether it’s strong or weak I think it’s bad. What I am struggling with is the ODAAT thing. I keep catching myself looking to the future such as planed events and telling myself that I’ll be fine by then and when that date comes and goes I’m still struggling I get really depressed. That I’m still working on. What really sucks is that as I type this I’m going through a major crave. This sucks.
3,957. I'm with you today bro.
The 100's were some of the fiercest crave battles for me. You made that promise; find something to distract yourself and keep fighting.
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Day 135. Anxiety.
Anxiety will slowly go away as the brain heals and returns to homeostasis. No medications or talk therapy can heal the brain any faster. Time and only time take care of the symptoms of a cranky brain. Although I do believe in therapy when anxiety is being caused by an outstanding reason such as a death of a loved one or a cheating spouse or a physical attack etc. but no therapy can ever speed up the physical healing process. Although I really appreciate the suggestion I will just grit my teeth and move forward. I have been through Benzodiazepine withdrawal years ago that lasted nearly 4 years and it was agonizing. Severe depression and anxiety was the 2 symptoms that was the worst and all the doctors wanted to do was try this med or that med but I pressed on and once healed life was great. This withdrawal feels very similar but not quite as intense. Don’t get me wrong, nicotine addiction and withdrawal sucks but I will get over this in my own way and it is not going to include any medication or talk therapy because it simply won’t work in this situation. My life outside of nicotine withdrawal is good. I have a great paying job, beautiful wife, wonderful son and daughter in law and also a grandson who I spend lots of quality time with. Nothing in my life is causing anxiety other than a physical injury to my brain. If left alone the brain has amazing healing power.
My promise today is not to dip.
Keith0617 1846 ODAAT
MN/2,739 - I don't know what else to say other than I quit with you TODAY. Keep up the fight.
It’s all good engineer. You give good advice but I been down this similar path before with Benzodiazepines so I know I’ll be fine. Time is the best healer.
My anxiety is not as strong over all as it used to be. I feel that I want to feel normal so badly that any anxiety whether it’s strong or weak I think it’s bad. What I am struggling with is the ODAAT thing. I keep catching myself looking to the future such as planed events and telling myself that I’ll be fine by then and when that date comes and goes I’m still struggling I get really depressed. That I’m still working on. What really sucks is that as I type this I’m going through a major crave. This sucks.
3,957. I'm with you today bro.
The 100's were some of the fiercest crave battles for me. You made that promise; find something to distract yourself and keep fighting.
Yes the craves are brutal. I never thought I’d still be craving this far out. My last stop 18 years ago my cravings were a thing of the past within 2 weeks. Rarely thought about it afterwards. Boy did I get lucky. Never even thought nicotine withdrawal was a thing. Crazy how hard I’m getting hit this time. Oh well. ODAAT.
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Day 136. Anxiety
I quit with you all today. I promise not to dip.
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Day 136. Anxiety
I quit with you all today. I promise not to dip.
7.5 years today (Day 2,740) - one foot in front of the other.
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Day 136. Anxiety
I quit with you all today. I promise not to dip.
7.5 years today (Day 2,740) - one foot in front of the other.
Keith0617 1847 ODAAT. Amazing how the days add up.
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Day 136. Anxiety
I quit with you all today. I promise not to dip.
7.5 years today (Day 2,740) - one foot in front of the other.
Keith0617 1847 ODAAT. Amazing how the days add up.
Congratulations on your 7.5 year milestone. That’s awesome. I can’t wait until I am that far out from dipping. BTW I’m having a massive crave today that just won’t let up. Maybe I’ll clean the shed to distract. ODAAT.
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Day 136. Anxiety
I quit with you all today. I promise not to dip.
7.5 years today (Day 2,740) - one foot in front of the other.
Keith0617 1847 ODAAT. Amazing how the days add up.
Congratulations on your 7.5 year milestone. That’s awesome. I can’t wait until I am that far out from dipping. BTW I’m having a massive crave today that just won’t let up. Maybe I’ll clean the shed to distract. ODAAT.
worktowin 3,958. If you need a second shed to clean to help you with the anxiety, I'm here for ya bro.
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Day 137. Anxiety
Woke up to the tingles and a case of the fear. Fear attached to everything. Fuck this is agonizing.
I promise not to dip today.
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Day 137. Anxiety
Woke up to the tingles and a case of the fear. Fear attached to everything. Fuck this is agonizing.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,741 proud to be quit with you TODAY
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Day 137. Anxiety
Woke up to the tingles and a case of the fear. Fear attached to everything. Fuck this is agonizing.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,741 proud to be quit with you TODAY
Rock n roll brother… with you today. Today… you will win.
AJ… 3,845
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Day 137. Anxiety
Woke up to the tingles and a case of the fear. Fear attached to everything. Fuck this is agonizing.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,741 proud to be quit with you TODAY
Rock n roll brother… with you today. Today… you will win.
AJ… 3,845
Keith0617 1848 ODAAT
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Day 138. Some anxiety.
Less anxiety than yesterday at this time but still very uncomfortable to say the least. My promise today is not to dip.
ODAAT.
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Day 138. Some anxiety.
Less anxiety than yesterday at this time but still very uncomfortable to say the least. My promise today is not to dip.
ODAAT.
MN/2,742 with you today
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Day 138. Some anxiety.
Less anxiety than yesterday at this time but still very uncomfortable to say the least. My promise today is not to dip.
ODAAT.
MN/2,742 with you today
Keith0617 1849 ODAAT
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Day 138. Some anxiety.
Less anxiety than yesterday at this time but still very uncomfortable to say the least. My promise today is not to dip.
ODAAT.
MN/2,742 with you today
Keith0617 1849 ODAAT
worktowin 3,960. None for me today. No sir!
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Keith0617 1850 ODAAT. With all of you today.
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Keith0617 1850 ODAAT. With all of you today.
Day 139. Some depression.
Promise not to dip today. You all have a great day.
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Keith0617 1850 ODAAT. With all of you today.
Day 139. Some depression.
Promise not to dip today. You all have a great day.
Worktowin 3,961. Back hurts like a mofo after going to the concert last night.
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Keith0617 1850 ODAAT. With all of you today.
Day 139. Some depression.
Promise not to dip today. You all have a great day.
Worktowin 3,961. Back hurts like a mofo after going to the concert last night.
2,743 - QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 140 Depression again.
I promise not to dip today.
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Day 140 Depression again.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,744 - making my promise with you TODAY
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Day 140 Depression again.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,744 - making my promise with you TODAY
Keith0617 1851 ODAAT
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Day 141. Feeling flat but I been way worse. Feeling the slow progress.
I promise not to dip on this cold day.
16 deg. this morning. Gotta start getting ready for deer opener this coming weekend. Everyone have a great dipless day.
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Day 141. Feeling flat but I been way worse. Feeling the slow progress.
I promise not to dip on this cold day.
16 deg. this morning. Gotta start getting ready for deer opener this coming weekend. Everyone have a great dipless day.
Keith0617 1852 ODAAT
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Day 141. Feeling flat but I been way worse. Feeling the slow progress.
I promise not to dip on this cold day.
16 deg. this morning. Gotta start getting ready for deer opener this coming weekend. Everyone have a great dipless day.
Keith0617 1852 ODAAT
MN/2,745 chilly down here in the north metro as well this morning; with you TODAY
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Day 141. Feeling flat but I been way worse. Feeling the slow progress.
I promise not to dip on this cold day.
16 deg. this morning. Gotta start getting ready for deer opener this coming weekend. Everyone have a great dipless day.
Keith0617 1852 ODAAT
MN/2,745 chilly down here in the north metro as well this morning; with you TODAY
worktowin 3.963. Think it is cold everywhere this week. 22 degrees in KC this morning. You think you feel flat? Did you watch the Chiefs yesterday? Holy shit what an ass kicking. It was kinda funny that Mile High played "Shake it Off" by T Swift as everyone was leaving though. I had to laugh. In the same spirit, "Shake it Off" in regards to the "flatness" today bro. Honored to quit with you.
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Day 141. Feeling flat but I been way worse. Feeling the slow progress.
I promise not to dip on this cold day.
16 deg. this morning. Gotta start getting ready for deer opener this coming weekend. Everyone have a great dipless day.
Keith0617 1852 ODAAT
MN/2,745 chilly down here in the north metro as well this morning; with you TODAY
worktowin 3.963. Think it is cold everywhere this week. 22 degrees in KC this morning. You think you feel flat? Did you watch the Chiefs yesterday? Holy shit what an ass kicking. It was kinda funny that Mile High played "Shake it Off" by T Swift as everyone was leaving though. I had to laugh. In the same spirit, "Shake it Off" in regards to the "flatness" today bro. Honored to quit with you.
At least you didn't lose your QB to a season ending Achilles injury....
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Day 141. Feeling flat but I been way worse. Feeling the slow progress.
I promise not to dip on this cold day.
16 deg. this morning. Gotta start getting ready for deer opener this coming weekend. Everyone have a great dipless day.
Keith0617 1852 ODAAT
MN/2,745 chilly down here in the north metro as well this morning; with you TODAY
worktowin 3.963. Think it is cold everywhere this week. 22 degrees in KC this morning. You think you feel flat? Did you watch the Chiefs yesterday? Holy shit what an ass kicking. It was kinda funny that Mile High played "Shake it Off" by T Swift as everyone was leaving though. I had to laugh. In the same spirit, "Shake it Off" in regards to the "flatness" today bro. Honored to quit with you.
At least you didn't lose your QB to a season ending Achilles injury....
Kirk seems like a good dude too. Sorry to see that happen to anyone. But especially a good stand up man. Sorry bro.
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Worktowin 3,964. Beautiful freezing cold day. Expect 200-300 little kiddos scouting for free sugar tonight. Lots to be thankful for. Starting with being quit and having winners like you to share this experience with. God Bless you guys.
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Worktowin 3,964. Beautiful freezing cold day. Expect 200-300 little kiddos scouting for free sugar tonight. Lots to be thankful for. Starting with being quit and having winners like you to share this experience with. God Bless you guys.
Day 142 and feeling ok mood wise but sporting a hangover type headache. Used to have these a lot back in my drinking days. It’s improvement and I’ll take it. My promise today is not to stuff a cat turd in my lip called a dip.
I am an avid Minnesota Twins fan and don’t really follow football but it sucks loosing good quarterback. It’s all the guys at work were talking about.
You all have a good day.
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Worktowin 3,964. Beautiful freezing cold day. Expect 200-300 little kiddos scouting for free sugar tonight. Lots to be thankful for. Starting with being quit and having winners like you to share this experience with. God Bless you guys.
Day 142 and feeling ok mood wise but sporting a hangover type headache. Used to have these a lot back in my drinking days. It’s improvement and I’ll take it. My promise today is not to stuff a cat turd in my lip called a dip.
I am an avid Minnesota Twins fan and don’t really follow football but it sucks loosing good quarterback. It’s all the guys at work were talking about.
You all have a good day.
MN/2,746 I'm more of baseball fan myself but it sucks since the Vikes just came off that big win vs the 49ers on MNF and seemed to be finding a rhythm and now this. NFL is just a dumpster fire this year.
Proud to be quit with you all TODAY!
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Worktowin 3,964. Beautiful freezing cold day. Expect 200-300 little kiddos scouting for free sugar tonight. Lots to be thankful for. Starting with being quit and having winners like you to share this experience with. God Bless you guys.
Day 142 and feeling ok mood wise but sporting a hangover type headache. Used to have these a lot back in my drinking days. It’s improvement and I’ll take it. My promise today is not to stuff a cat turd in my lip called a dip.
I am an avid Minnesota Twins fan and don’t really follow football but it sucks loosing good quarterback. It’s all the guys at work were talking about.
You all have a good day.
MN/2,746 I'm more of baseball fan myself but it sucks since the Vikes just came off that big win vs the 49ers on MNF and seemed to be finding a rhythm and now this. NFL is just a dumpster fire this year.
Proud to be quit with you all TODAY!
Keith0617 1853 ODAAT
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Day 143.
I promise not to be a Dipchit and throw in a dip today.
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Day 143.
I promise not to be a Dipchit and throw in a dip today.
MN/2,747 no nicotine for this guy today. Nicotine can go 'Finger' itself!
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Day 143.
I promise not to be a Dipchit and throw in a dip today.
MN/2,747 no nicotine for this guy today. Nicotine can go 'Finger' itself!
worktowin 3,965. Not a lot that I can add to these words of wisdom!
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Day 143.
I promise not to be a Dipchit and throw in a dip today.
MN/2,747 no nicotine for this guy today. Nicotine can go 'Finger' itself!
worktowin 3,965. Not a lot that I can add to these words of wisdom!
Keith0617 1854 ODAAT
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Day 144
I will be off grid for the next week due to the Minnesota Wolf….. oops I mean Deer season opener this weekend so you guys won’t be hearing from me for a while. Our deer camp is a dip free zone and I promise not to dip today.
You guys have a great weekend. See you all here in a week or so.
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Day 144
I will be off grid for the next week due to the Minnesota Wolf….. oops I mean Deer season opener this weekend so you guys won’t be hearing from me for a while. Our deer camp is a dip free zone and I promise not to dip today.
You guys have a great weekend. See you all here in a week or so.
MN/2,748 - have a plan and stick to it. I don't want to see you back in a week posting a Day 1. Carve your promise into a tree every day. You have my word TODAY.
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Day 144
I will be off grid for the next week due to the Minnesota Wolf….. oops I mean Deer season opener this weekend so you guys won’t be hearing from me for a while. Our deer camp is a dip free zone and I promise not to dip today.
You guys have a great weekend. See you all here in a week or so.
Feeling a little better mood wise today. No anxiety at all but still a little flat. Not much excitement or joy in anything. Kind of just going through the motions. I’m sure that will pass in time. My biggest enemy now is boredom because it triggers craves. Whenever I was bored I tossed in a dip and suddenly the boredom was gone. I am starting to feel and show a little interest in my hobbies but it’s slight. It’s crazy how bad nicotine addiction can hijack or pleasure center in our brains. Shit should be outlawed.
See you all next week. I’m heading for the shack with no dip in my possession.
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Day 144
I will be off grid for the next week due to the Minnesota Wolf….. oops I mean Deer season opener this weekend so you guys won’t be hearing from me for a while. Our deer camp is a dip free zone and I promise not to dip today.
You guys have a great weekend. See you all here in a week or so.
MN/2,748 - have a plan and stick to it. I don't want to see you back in a week posting a Day 1. Carve your promise into a tree every day. You have my word TODAY.
The shack is a dip free zone. No dip is going with me. Closest store is 20 miles away and I have no desire to finger bang a can of cat shit. Fuck that!!!!
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Day 144
I will be off grid for the next week due to the Minnesota Wolf….. oops I mean Deer season opener this weekend so you guys won’t be hearing from me for a while. Our deer camp is a dip free zone and I promise not to dip today.
You guys have a great weekend. See you all here in a week or so.
MN/2,748 - have a plan and stick to it. I don't want to see you back in a week posting a Day 1. Carve your promise into a tree every day. You have my word TODAY.
The shack is a dip free zone. No dip is going with me. Closest store is 20 miles away and I have no desire to finger bang a can of cat shit. Fuck that!!!!
worktowin 3,966. What a cool number made up of a lot of factors of 3. I hope you slaughter a fuckton of those muthafuckin deer. I see about 20 a day roaming in the fields waiting to destroy a car. They look a lot better on a plate than on a windshield. Dip free here, and I'm gonna stay that way today!
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Day 144
I will be off grid for the next week due to the Minnesota Wolf….. oops I mean Deer season opener this weekend so you guys won’t be hearing from me for a while. Our deer camp is a dip free zone and I promise not to dip today.
You guys have a great weekend. See you all here in a week or so.
MN/2,748 - have a plan and stick to it. I don't want to see you back in a week posting a Day 1. Carve your promise into a tree every day. You have my word TODAY.
The shack is a dip free zone. No dip is going with me. Closest store is 20 miles away and I have no desire to finger bang a can of cat shit. Fuck that!!!!
worktowin 3,966. What a cool number made up of a lot of factors of 3. I hope you slaughter a fuckton of those muthafuckin deer. I see about 20 a day roaming in the fields waiting to destroy a car. They look a lot better on a plate than on a windshield. Dip free here, and I'm gonna stay that way today!
Keith0617 1855 ODAAT
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MN/2,749 with Dipchit
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MN/2,749 with Dipchit
Keith0617 1856 ODAAT with all of you
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MN/2,749 with Dipchit
Keith0617 1856 ODAAT with all of you
worktowin 3,967. Hope he's murdering those bastard deer.
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Keith0617 1857 ODAAT with all of you.
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Keith0617 1857 ODAAT with all of you.
MN - 2.75k with Dipchit and y'all TODAY
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Keith0617 1858 ODAAT with all of you.
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Keith0617 1858 ODAAT with all of you.
MN/2,751 with the deer slayer. QLAMF ODAAT
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Keith0617 1859 ODAAT with all of you
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Keith0617 1859 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,752 eager to hear how Dipchit's (what's your actual name brother??) nicotine-free hunting trip is going.
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Keith0617 1859 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,752 eager to hear how Dipchit's (what's your actual name brother??) nicotine-free hunting trip is going.
worktowin 3,970. How is it already Monday again? I also look forward to an update!
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MN/2,753 - chugging through the week; already Tuesday. QLAMF ODAAT
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MN/2,753 - chugging through the week; already Tuesday. QLAMF ODAAT
3,971. Fall has for sure arrived. Glad to not be sweating my (**%& off everytime I go outside! This summer was brutal.
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MN/2,753 - chugging through the week; already Tuesday. QLAMF ODAAT
3,971. Fall has for sure arrived. Glad to not be sweating my (**%& off everytime I go outside! This summer was brutal.
Keith0617 1860 ODAAT
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MN/2,753 - chugging through the week; already Tuesday. QLAMF ODAAT
3,971. Fall has for sure arrived. Glad to not be sweating my (**%& off everytime I go outside! This summer was brutal.
Keith0617 1860 ODAAT
Day 149
Came back to town for some supplies. Only saw 2 deer. Doe and yearling fawn. Let ‘em go by. Pretty slow up in wolf country but there are a few bucks hanging around. Heading back to the shack as soon as I get done with this message. I promise not to dip today.
Steve.
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MN/2,754 with Steve and y'all TODAY.
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MN/2,754 with Steve and y'all TODAY.
Keith0617 1861
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MN/2,755 - sunny and beautiful here in central MN today; it's a great day to be QUIT.
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MN/2,755 - sunny and beautiful here in central MN today; it's a great day to be QUIT.
Keith0617 1862 Same here in MD
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MN/2,755 - sunny and beautiful here in central MN today; it's a great day to be QUIT.
Keith0617 1862 Same here in MD
Day 151.
Came back from deer camp early for 2 reasons. First reason is I’m tired of all the wind and freezing rain and second my withdrawal came back full force. I had close to a week of pretty good days but I woke up Tuesday morning with the tingles and as I felt that I knew my window of good days was about to slam shut. Yesterday go bad after breakfast and it has only gotten worse since. Severe head pressure with apathy and anxiety. I have lost interest in life itself but I know this will pass but to have a few wonderful days and then have life ripped away from you again is so hard. Fucking nicotine needs to be outlawed. What a horrible chemical. So here we are back in withdrawals.
I promise not to dip today.
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MN/2,755 - sunny and beautiful here in central MN today; it's a great day to be QUIT.
Keith0617 1862 Same here in MD
Day 151.
Came back from deer camp early for 2 reasons. First reason is I’m tired of all the wind and freezing rain and second my withdrawal came back full force. I had close to a week of pretty good days but I woke up Tuesday morning with the tingles and as I felt that I knew my window of good days was about to slam shut. Yesterday go bad after breakfast and it has only gotten worse since. Severe head pressure with apathy and anxiety. I have lost interest in life itself but I know this will pass but to have a few wonderful days and then have life ripped away from you again is so hard. Fucking nicotine needs to be outlawed. What a horrible chemical. So here we are back in withdrawals.
I promise not to dip today.
Sorry to hear Steve. Everyone is different and I don't want to give you a false 'goal', but it wasn't until after the 200 day mark for me that things started to improve. Glad to hear you had a string of good days; I hope you enjoyed them and that they will give you the motivation to power through this rough patch. Proud to be quit with you TODAY.
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MN/2,755 - sunny and beautiful here in central MN today; it's a great day to be QUIT.
Keith0617 1862 Same here in MD
Day 151.
Came back from deer camp early for 2 reasons. First reason is I’m tired of all the wind and freezing rain and second my withdrawal came back full force. I had close to a week of pretty good days but I woke up Tuesday morning with the tingles and as I felt that I knew my window of good days was about to slam shut. Yesterday go bad after breakfast and it has only gotten worse since. Severe head pressure with apathy and anxiety. I have lost interest in life itself but I know this will pass but to have a few wonderful days and then have life ripped away from you again is so hard. Fucking nicotine needs to be outlawed. What a horrible chemical. So here we are back in withdrawals.
I promise not to dip today.
Sorry to hear Steve. Everyone is different and I don't want to give you a false 'goal', but it wasn't until after the 200 day mark for me that things started to improve. Glad to hear you had a string of good days; I hope you enjoyed them and that they will give you the motivation to power through this rough patch. Proud to be quit with you TODAY.
worktowin 3,973. Steve, welcome home!
I don't know if you remember my timeline, but I didn't start "living" again until day 150. You are right there. You are now to the point where life isn't a CONSTANT struggle, and rather where you have good days and good times and it doesn't feel like you are in a trench fighting and not moving an inch forward 100% of the time. Remember, you have had some good days. Not that long ago that was not the case. So enjoy and remember the wins, because you have more coming ahead and this does get easier. It already has, it is just hard to remember that when you are in the moment. I'm honored to quit with you and the other winners on your team, bro. Hang in there. I promise that we do know what we are talking about.
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Day 152
Feeling a little better this morning but I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch so I’ll see where this goes. It’s another rain/snow mix day today. We haven’t seen the sun for over a week now. This dreary weather sure doesn’t help. BTW if I didn’t blow my last quit I would have 18 years today without a dip. What a dipshit for taking that dip 4 and a half years ago. Well we can’t change the past but we can steer the future so my promise is not to dip today.
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Day 152
Feeling a little better this morning but I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch so I’ll see where this goes. It’s another rain/snow mix day today. We haven’t seen the sun for over a week now. This dreary weather sure doesn’t help. BTW if I didn’t blow my last quit I would have 18 years today without a dip. What a dipshit for taking that dip 4 and a half years ago. Well we can’t change the past but we can steer the future so my promise is not to dip today.
worktwoin 3,974. Glad your day is starting a bit better, Steve. Enjoy Friday, the best day of the week. Hit the gym, and celebrate another day of winning.
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Day 152
Feeling a little better this morning but I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch so I’ll see where this goes. It’s another rain/snow mix day today. We haven’t seen the sun for over a week now. This dreary weather sure doesn’t help. BTW if I didn’t blow my last quit I would have 18 years today without a dip. What a dipshit for taking that dip 4 and a half years ago. Well we can’t change the past but we can steer the future so my promise is not to dip today.
worktwoin 3,974. Glad your day is starting a bit better, Steve. Enjoy Friday, the best day of the week. Hit the gym, and celebrate another day of winning.
MN/2,756 hope you find some ways to enjoy your Friday brother. While it's unfortunate you aren't able to celebrate 18 years quit today, your story and presence here helps people like me by providing a concrete reminder that we are never cured and there is no such thing as 'just one'. Complacency is the #1 quit killer and it's crazy how every time I wonder if I can fade from KTC and make it on my own, someone like yourself comes along to slap me back into focus. Posting takes 30 seconds a day; no reason to not protect my quit EDD. So thank you for coming back with a lesson for us and the tenacity to begin again.
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Day 152
Feeling a little better this morning but I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch so I’ll see where this goes. It’s another rain/snow mix day today. We haven’t seen the sun for over a week now. This dreary weather sure doesn’t help. BTW if I didn’t blow my last quit I would have 18 years today without a dip. What a dipshit for taking that dip 4 and a half years ago. Well we can’t change the past but we can steer the future so my promise is not to dip today.
worktwoin 3,974. Glad your day is starting a bit better, Steve. Enjoy Friday, the best day of the week. Hit the gym, and celebrate another day of winning.
MN/2,756 hope you find some ways to enjoy your Friday brother. While it's unfortunate you aren't able to celebrate 18 years quit today, your story and presence here helps people like me by providing a concrete reminder that we are never cured and there is no such thing as 'just one'. Complacency is the #1 quit killer and it's crazy how every time I wonder if I can fade from KTC and make it on my own, someone like yourself comes along to slap me back into focus. Posting takes 30 seconds a day; no reason to not protect my quit EDD. So thank you for coming back with a lesson for us and the tenacity to begin again.
It’s just after first break here at work and here comes the anxiety. I was flat and apathetic to begin the day but now the anxiety is ramping up pretty bad. Sense of fear and dread. All because I got stupid and finger banged a tin of cat shit. Can’t believe how long this lasts. Everything science says is 2 to 4 weeks. What a line of bullshit that is.
Rant over.
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Day 152
Feeling a little better this morning but I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch so I’ll see where this goes. It’s another rain/snow mix day today. We haven’t seen the sun for over a week now. This dreary weather sure doesn’t help. BTW if I didn’t blow my last quit I would have 18 years today without a dip. What a dipshit for taking that dip 4 and a half years ago. Well we can’t change the past but we can steer the future so my promise is not to dip today.
worktwoin 3,974. Glad your day is starting a bit better, Steve. Enjoy Friday, the best day of the week. Hit the gym, and celebrate another day of winning.
MN/2,756 hope you find some ways to enjoy your Friday brother. While it's unfortunate you aren't able to celebrate 18 years quit today, your story and presence here helps people like me by providing a concrete reminder that we are never cured and there is no such thing as 'just one'. Complacency is the #1 quit killer and it's crazy how every time I wonder if I can fade from KTC and make it on my own, someone like yourself comes along to slap me back into focus. Posting takes 30 seconds a day; no reason to not protect my quit EDD. So thank you for coming back with a lesson for us and the tenacity to begin again.
It’s just after first break here at work and here comes the anxiety. I was flat and apathetic to begin the day but now the anxiety is ramping up pretty bad. Sense of fear and dread. All because I got stupid and finger banged a tin of cat shit. Can’t believe how long this lasts. Everything science says is 2 to 4 weeks. What a line of bullshit that is.
Rant over.
Keith0617 1863 ODAAT.
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Day 153.
Just woke up and can feel the anxiety starting to come back again. It usually gets better after dark but as soon as I wake up it starts to build until it peaks around 10:00 am and then it’s ground hogs day from hell again. Over and over and over. Fucking nicotine withdrawal sucks. Part I don’t get is that you get a couple to a few days without symptoms and you think it’s finally over with and in an instant BOOM
-
I promise not to dip today.
-
I promise not to dip today.
Worktowin 3,975. No dip today.
-
I promise not to dip today.
Worktowin 3,975. No dip today.
Keith0617 1864 ODAAT
-
I promise not to dip today.
Worktowin 3,975. No dip today.
Keith0617 1864 ODAAT
2,757 - quitting 24 hours at a time
-
I promise not to dip today.
Worktowin 3,975. No dip today.
Keith0617 1864 ODAAT
2,757 - quitting 24 hours at a time
The anxiety is relentless today. I went 5 days with low to no anxiety last week but now I feel like I’m in the first week of my quit. This is crazy. How much suffering does a guy have to endure to get to the other side? Fuck!!!
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Day 154. Anxiety
I promise not to dip today.
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Day 154. Anxiety
I promise not to dip today.
Worktowin 3,976. Headed out to get bagels the put up outside Christmas stuff. I quit with you sir.
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Day 154. Anxiety
I promise not to dip today.
Worktowin 3,976. Headed out to get bagels the put up outside Christmas stuff. I quit with you sir.
Keith0617 1865 ODAAT with all of you
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Day 154. Anxiety
I promise not to dip today.
Worktowin 3,976. Headed out to get bagels the put up outside Christmas stuff. I quit with you sir.
Keith0617 1865 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,758 - none for me TODAY
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Day 154. Anxiety
I promise not to dip today.
Worktowin 3,976. Headed out to get bagels the put up outside Christmas stuff. I quit with you sir.
Keith0617 1865 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,758 - none for me TODAY
Only one way to describe today. Torture!!!!!!!
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Day 155. Feel like I’m full of adrenaline since 4:00 am. Absolutely impossible to relax mentally and physically. My body is exhausted but my mind is going 1000 mph. Anyone else experience this during withdrawal?
Yesterday was pure torture with anxiety and a head pressure headache, tingling and the occasional brain zap. Fees like today will be more of the same. Sleep when I can get it is the great escape from the nic bitch torment. Just can’t believe this process takes so long to get over. My clueless doctor is saying that it’s impossible for nicotine withdrawal to last for more than a few weeks and that I have something else going on. That’s odd because I never had these symptoms until I quit. Clueless bastard.
I promise not to dip today.
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Day 155. Feel like I’m full of adrenaline since 4:00 am. Absolutely impossible to relax mentally and physically. My body is exhausted but my mind is going 1000 mph. Anyone else experience this during withdrawal?
Yesterday was pure torture with anxiety and a head pressure headache, tingling and the occasional brain zap. Fees like today will be more of the same. Sleep when I can get it is the great escape from the nic bitch torment. Just can’t believe this process takes so long to get over. My clueless doctor is saying that it’s impossible for nicotine withdrawal to last for more than a few weeks and that I have something else going on. That’s odd because I never had these symptoms until I quit. Clueless bastard.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1866 ODAAt with all of you
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Day 155. Feel like I’m full of adrenaline since 4:00 am. Absolutely impossible to relax mentally and physically. My body is exhausted but my mind is going 1000 mph. Anyone else experience this during withdrawal?
Yesterday was pure torture with anxiety and a head pressure headache, tingling and the occasional brain zap. Fees like today will be more of the same. Sleep when I can get it is the great escape from the nic bitch torment. Just can’t believe this process takes so long to get over. My clueless doctor is saying that it’s impossible for nicotine withdrawal to last for more than a few weeks and that I have something else going on. That’s odd because I never had these symptoms until I quit. Clueless bastard.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1866 ODAAt with all of you
worktowin 3,977. Hope today calms down for you bro!
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Day 155. Feel like I’m full of adrenaline since 4:00 am. Absolutely impossible to relax mentally and physically. My body is exhausted but my mind is going 1000 mph. Anyone else experience this during withdrawal?
Yesterday was pure torture with anxiety and a head pressure headache, tingling and the occasional brain zap. Fees like today will be more of the same. Sleep when I can get it is the great escape from the nic bitch torment. Just can’t believe this process takes so long to get over. My clueless doctor is saying that it’s impossible for nicotine withdrawal to last for more than a few weeks and that I have something else going on. That’s odd because I never had these symptoms until I quit. Clueless bastard.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1866 ODAAt with all of you
worktowin 3,977. Hope today calms down for you bro!
MN/2,759 - not that it's much consolation but I'd wager to say that what you are describing is much more normal than your previous stoppages which had almost non-existent symptoms/withdrawals. As debilitating as your current situation is, I've observed a handful of folks over my 7.5 years here that also had a really rough go for quite an extended period of time, like yourself. Keep that focus on TODAY.
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Day 156. Anxiety still has its iron grip on me. Fear and dread.
I will not dip today.
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Day 156. Anxiety still has its iron grip on me. Fear and dread.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1867 ODAAT. Find something to celebrate today. Something that makes you happy and then focus on that for the rest of the day.
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Day 156. Anxiety still has its iron grip on me. Fear and dread.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1867 ODAAT. Find something to celebrate today. Something that makes you happy and then focus on that for the rest of the day.
MN/2,760 - QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 156. Anxiety still has its iron grip on me. Fear and dread.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1867 ODAAT. Find something to celebrate today. Something that makes you happy and then focus on that for the rest of the day.
MN/2,760 - QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 3,978. Headed to the grocery store to buy some stuff for thanksgiving. Ugh.
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Day 156. Anxiety still has its iron grip on me. Fear and dread.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1867 ODAAT. Find something to celebrate today. Something that makes you happy and then focus on that for the rest of the day.
MN/2,760 - QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 3,978. Headed to the grocery store to buy some stuff for thanksgiving. Ugh.
If this pattern holds true then I should start to feel better in about a week. I have been getting about 2 weeks of absolute agony and then a couple to a few days of low to almost no symptoms. What really fucks with me is that I start to feel better each day and suddenly I get the carpet yanked out from under me and it’s a couple to a few weeks back in fucking hell on earth again. I’m absolutely shell shocked from this. Fuck, let this end soon. In a good way.
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Day 156. Anxiety still has its iron grip on me. Fear and dread.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1867 ODAAT. Find something to celebrate today. Something that makes you happy and then focus on that for the rest of the day.
MN/2,760 - QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 3,978. Headed to the grocery store to buy some stuff for thanksgiving. Ugh.
If this pattern holds true then I should start to feel better in about a week. I have been getting about 2 weeks of absolute agony and then a couple to a few days of low to almost no symptoms. What really fucks with me is that I start to feel better each day and suddenly I get the carpet yanked out from under me and it’s a couple to a few weeks back in fucking hell on earth again. I’m absolutely shell shocked from this. Fuck, let this end soon. In a good way.
It's easy for me to say but know that it WILL end. A time will come (hopefully soon) that this will be in the rear view mirror. Use that as motivation as you power through the rough valleys.
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Day 156. Anxiety still has its iron grip on me. Fear and dread.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1867 ODAAT. Find something to celebrate today. Something that makes you happy and then focus on that for the rest of the day.
MN/2,760 - QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 3,978. Headed to the grocery store to buy some stuff for thanksgiving. Ugh.
If this pattern holds true then I should start to feel better in about a week. I have been getting about 2 weeks of absolute agony and then a couple to a few days of low to almost no symptoms. What really fucks with me is that I start to feel better each day and suddenly I get the carpet yanked out from under me and it’s a couple to a few weeks back in fucking hell on earth again. I’m absolutely shell shocked from this. Fuck, let this end soon. In a good way.
It's easy for me to say but know that it WILL end. A time will come (hopefully soon) that this will be in the rear view mirror. Use that as motivation as you power through the rough valleys.
I’m trying with all my might and grit. This is so hard. The constant struggle with fear,depression,anxiety,anhidonia is killing me. And just think that relief is just one big juicy bite away. Fuck that!!! I’m going to see this through and never dip again. The fog is really setting in now. BTW I had a panic attack bout an hour ago. Fuckin nic bitch.
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Day 156. Anxiety still has its iron grip on me. Fear and dread.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1867 ODAAT. Find something to celebrate today. Something that makes you happy and then focus on that for the rest of the day.
MN/2,760 - QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 3,978. Headed to the grocery store to buy some stuff for thanksgiving. Ugh.
If this pattern holds true then I should start to feel better in about a week. I have been getting about 2 weeks of absolute agony and then a couple to a few days of low to almost no symptoms. What really fucks with me is that I start to feel better each day and suddenly I get the carpet yanked out from under me and it’s a couple to a few weeks back in fucking hell on earth again. I’m absolutely shell shocked from this. Fuck, let this end soon. In a good way.
It's easy for me to say but know that it WILL end. A time will come (hopefully soon) that this will be in the rear view mirror. Use that as motivation as you power through the rough valleys.
I’m trying with all my might and grit. This is so hard. The constant struggle with fear,depression,anxiety,anhidonia is killing me. And just think that relief is just one big juicy bite away. Fuck that!!! I’m going to see this through and never dip again. The fog is really setting in now. BTW I had a panic attack bout an hour ago. Fuckin nic bitch.
Legit question here - so how are you able to hide all these panic/anxiety/depression/etc symptoms from those close to you, i.e. your wife?? Has she suspected anything or have you just blamed it on something else?
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Day 156. Anxiety still has its iron grip on me. Fear and dread.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1867 ODAAT. Find something to celebrate today. Something that makes you happy and then focus on that for the rest of the day.
MN/2,760 - QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 3,978. Headed to the grocery store to buy some stuff for thanksgiving. Ugh.
If this pattern holds true then I should start to feel better in about a week. I have been getting about 2 weeks of absolute agony and then a couple to a few days of low to almost no symptoms. What really fucks with me is that I start to feel better each day and suddenly I get the carpet yanked out from under me and it’s a couple to a few weeks back in fucking hell on earth again. I’m absolutely shell shocked from this. Fuck, let this end soon. In a good way.
It's easy for me to say but know that it WILL end. A time will come (hopefully soon) that this will be in the rear view mirror. Use that as motivation as you power through the rough valleys.
I’m trying with all my might and grit. This is so hard. The constant struggle with fear,depression,anxiety,anhidonia is killing me. And just think that relief is just one big juicy bite away. Fuck that!!! I’m going to see this through and never dip again. The fog is really setting in now. BTW I had a panic attack bout an hour ago. Fuckin nic bitch.
Legit question here - so how are you able to hide all these panic/anxiety/depression/etc symptoms from those close to you, i.e. your wife?? Has she suspected anything or have you just blamed it on something else?
Guess I’m just good at hiding emotional distress and pain. I sometimes blame it on my migraines that I have been having a few times a month for all my life. I get auroras in my vision and head pressure migraines. Started when I was a little kid. It works. As I type this my anxiety is letting up for the evening. Fingers crossed that tomorrow is better. Couldn’t get any worse. Fuck the nic bitch.
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Day 157. Anxiety
I will not dip today.
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Day 157. Anxiety
I will not dip today.
MN/2,761 - no nicotine; with you TODAY.
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Day 157. Anxiety
I will not dip today.
MN/2,761 - no nicotine; with you TODAY.
It’s almost 4:00 pm and my anxiety is through the roof. I’m really having a bad day again. Total fear and anhidonia. I’m emotionally numb. Fucking nicotine needs to be removed from the earth. God i hope tomorrow is better. I can’t take much more of this madness.
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Day 157. Anxiety
I will not dip today.
MN/2,761 - no nicotine; with you TODAY.
It’s almost 4:00 pm and my anxiety is through the roof. I’m really having a bad day again. Total fear and anhidonia. I’m emotionally numb. Fucking nicotine needs to be removed from the earth. God i hope tomorrow is better. I can’t take much more of this madness.
The struggle will get better, yet it will still be a struggle. Quitting is hard by design as the nicotine sellers have mastered keeping folks like us hooked. Stay quit one day at a time. 157 days is awesome! 8)
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Day 158. Anxiety
Thank you for the words of encouragement Stranger. I hope they get better soon. I’m at my wits end. I’m she’ll shocked and weary from all this madness. Soon as i open my eyes it’s off to the races. Running from anxiety. I started trying meditation and mindfulness last night but I’m so amped up I can’t sit still. I’m going to keep trying.
Yes you wonder what kind of cocktail the tobacco industry puts in their dip to keep us hooked. It’s got to be more than just nicotine. Rotten bastards.
I will not dip today and that’s my promise.
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Day 158. Anxiety
Thank you for the words of encouragement Stranger. I hope they get better soon. I’m at my wits end. I’m she’ll shocked and weary from all this madness. Soon as i open my eyes it’s off to the races. Running from anxiety. I started trying meditation and mindfulness last night but I’m so amped up I can’t sit still. I’m going to keep trying.
Yes you wonder what kind of cocktail the tobacco industry puts in their dip to keep us hooked. It’s got to be more than just nicotine. Rotten bastards.
I will not dip today and that’s my promise.
MN/2,762 - I give you my word today. Quitting is a marathon, not a sprint. I think it was MLK that said we must keep moving. If you can't fly, run; if you can't run, walk; if you can't walk, crawl, but by all means keep moving. Keep moving Steve; you got this.
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Day 158. Anxiety
Thank you for the words of encouragement Stranger. I hope they get better soon. I’m at my wits end. I’m she’ll shocked and weary from all this madness. Soon as i open my eyes it’s off to the races. Running from anxiety. I started trying meditation and mindfulness last night but I’m so amped up I can’t sit still. I’m going to keep trying.
Yes you wonder what kind of cocktail the tobacco industry puts in their dip to keep us hooked. It’s got to be more than just nicotine. Rotten bastards.
I will not dip today and that’s my promise.
MN/2,762 - I give you my word today. Quitting is a marathon, not a sprint. I think it was MLK that said we must keep moving. If you can't fly, run; if you can't run, walk; if you can't walk, crawl, but by all means keep moving. Keep moving Steve; you got this.
worktowin 3,980. Every one of us on this thread struggled a lot. But every one of us has promised you that better days are ahead. My stuggle was different that yours, but I'm really glad it sucked as bad as it did in retrospect. Because I NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER want to go through that bullshit again. The memory of what nicotine did to me, along with my commitment to daily posting to bad ass people like yourself, is what keeps me honest and quit. And for that I thank you, and I promise no nicotine today.
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Day 158. Anxiety
Thank you for the words of encouragement Stranger. I hope they get better soon. I’m at my wits end. I’m she’ll shocked and weary from all this madness. Soon as i open my eyes it’s off to the races. Running from anxiety. I started trying meditation and mindfulness last night but I’m so amped up I can’t sit still. I’m going to keep trying.
Yes you wonder what kind of cocktail the tobacco industry puts in their dip to keep us hooked. It’s got to be more than just nicotine. Rotten bastards.
I will not dip today and that’s my promise.
MN/2,762 - I give you my word today. Quitting is a marathon, not a sprint. I think it was MLK that said we must keep moving. If you can't fly, run; if you can't run, walk; if you can't walk, crawl, but by all means keep moving. Keep moving Steve; you got this.
worktowin 3,980. Every one of us on this thread struggled a lot. But every one of us has promised you that better days are ahead. My stuggle was different that yours, but I'm really glad it sucked as bad as it did in retrospect. Because I NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER want to go through that bullshit again. The memory of what nicotine did to me, along with my commitment to daily posting to bad ass people like yourself, is what keeps me honest and quit. And for that I thank you, and I promise no nicotine today.
Keith0617 1869 ODAAT
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Day 159. Anxiety still prevails.
I promise not to dip today.
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Day 159. Anxiety still prevails.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1870 ODAAT. You prevail, not anxiety. You are in control and nothing else. Find something to put a smi;e on your face and live there for today.
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Day 159. Anxiety still prevails.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1870 ODAAT. You prevail, not anxiety. You are in control and nothing else. Find something to put a smi;e on your face and live there for today.
MN/2,763 - Friday quit with you.
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Day 159. Anxiety still prevails.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1870 ODAAT. You prevail, not anxiety. You are in control and nothing else. Find something to put a smi;e on your face and live there for today.
MN/2,763 - Friday quit with you.
worktowin 3,981. Hey Steve, we are all part of individual quit groups, which are like a "quit family". This site transferred to Discord in 2021, My group is April 2013. If you'd like to Join mine, or Keiths, or Engineer's quit group.... we'd love to see you post with us every day. Today, I quit with you bro.
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Day 159. Anxiety still prevails.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1870 ODAAT. You prevail, not anxiety. You are in control and nothing else. Find something to put a smi;e on your face and live there for today.
MN/2,763 - Friday quit with you.
worktowin 3,981. Hey Steve, we are all part of individual quit groups, which are like a "quit family". This site transferred to Discord in 2021, My group is April 2013. If you'd like to Join mine, or Keiths, or Engineer's quit group.... we'd love to see you post with us every day. Today, I quit with you bro.
Thanks for the idea but I’m just going to stay here. I consider you guys my quit family. Although AJ had been missing lately. I hope he didn’t go out and pick up a can.
Well unfortunately today was a really bad one. My anxiety was through the roof. Almost had a panic attack but I was able to breathe through it and it settled down but I’m so shell shocked from all the anxiety and fear. It’s been almost 2 weeks since I had a ok day and there is no end in sight. This wave is bad. Maybe this is my brain’s final push. Probably wishful thinking but it’s all I have. This sucks. Life is on hold. There is an old saying from my benzo withdrawls. Fake it til you make it.
At least I get a nightly reprieve most nights after dark. See you all here tomorrow.
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Worktowin 3,982. Good morning from Minneapolis today. It’s cold up here.
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Worktowin 3,982. Good morning from Minneapolis today. It’s cold up here.
Keith0617 1871 ODAAT
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Worktowin 3,982. Good morning from Minneapolis today. It’s cold up here.
@worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) how long you in town?!
MN/2,764 with Steve and everyone TODAY
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Worktowin 3,982. Good morning from Minneapolis today. It’s cold up here.
@worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) how long you in town?!
MN/2,764 with Steve and everyone TODAY
Day 160. Depression
It’s colder up here.
I promise not to dip today.
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Worktowin 3,982. Good morning from Minneapolis today. It’s cold up here.
@worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) how long you in town?!
MN/2,764 with Steve and everyone TODAY
Leave tomorrow. Quick trip up. News is talking about how warm it is and I’m freezing!!
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Worktowin 3,982. Good morning from Minneapolis today. It’s cold up here.
@worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) how long you in town?!
MN/2,764 with Steve and everyone TODAY
Day 160. Depression
It’s colder up here.
I promise not to dip today.
No.
AJ did not go pick up a can.
That won't happen. Ever.
Once free from the clutches of that garbage, I could finally see just how thoroughly it was ruining my life. It was a realization that shocked me to my core. It was a fundamental shift. I know we preach "One day at a time" here but THAT realization and THIS place, cured me of my need of it AND destroyed any false romantic notion of how it made me or my life better. Am I still an addict? Yep. Always will be. Once opened, that door never closes but... I walked away from that door and will forever keep walking away from it. That's a choice I will make until I die.
I used to be a little scared of the addiction. I think that's probably normal for most. We KNOW what kind of hold that garbage had on us. It's logical to hold a healthy fear of it at that point. Fear like that does its job and keeps us running from it.
BUT... ultimately that means it still has some hold on you.
Freedom, real freedom, is when you know that YOU have ALL the power. All of it. That fear? Gone. Useless. Pointless. We win. Period.
You leave that addiction beat to hell and bleeding in a pulp behind its door that it can't crawl out of anymore and... you just keep walking.
You, my man, are fighting like an absolute beast. It's heartbreaking. It's inspiring.
This is just words on a page of some rando forum from some rando dude but... you've already won, man. You have. Whatever you're holding onto or whatever still has a hold on you? I can't say, but THE REALITY is that... YOU win. You.
AJ... 3,868
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Worktowin 3,982. Good morning from Minneapolis today. It’s cold up here.
@worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) how long you in town?!
MN/2,764 with Steve and everyone TODAY
Day 160. Depression
It’s colder up here.
I promise not to dip today.
No.
AJ did not go pick up a can.
That won't happen. Ever.
Once free from the clutches of that garbage, I could finally see just how thoroughly it was ruining my life. It was a realization that shocked me to my core. It was a fundamental shift. I know we preach "One day at a time" here but THAT realization and THIS place, cured me of my need of it AND destroyed any false romantic notion of how it made me or my life better. Am I still an addict? Yep. Always will be. Once opened, that door never closes but... I walked away from that door and will forever keep walking away from it. That's a choice I will make until I die.
I used to be a little scared of the addiction. I think that's probably normal for most. We KNOW what kind of hold that garbage had on us. It's logical to hold a healthy fear of it at that point. Fear like that does its job and keeps us running from it.
BUT... ultimately that means it still has some hold on you.
Freedom, real freedom, is when you know that YOU have ALL the power. All of it. That fear? Gone. Useless. Pointless. We win. Period.
You leave that addiction beat to hell and bleeding in a pulp behind its door that it can't crawl out of anymore and... you just keep walking.
You, my man, are fighting like an absolute beast. It's heartbreaking. It's inspiring.
This is just words on a page of some rando forum from some rando dude but... you've already won, man. You have. Whatever you're holding onto or whatever still has a hold on you? I can't say, but THE REALITY is that... YOU win. You.
AJ... 3,868
This literally sent chills down my spine. Shane, you are the man.
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Worktowin 3,982. Good morning from Minneapolis today. It’s cold up here.
@worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) how long you in town?!
MN/2,764 with Steve and everyone TODAY
Day 160. Depression
It’s colder up here.
I promise not to dip today.
No.
AJ did not go pick up a can.
That won't happen. Ever.
Once free from the clutches of that garbage, I could finally see just how thoroughly it was ruining my life. It was a realization that shocked me to my core. It was a fundamental shift. I know we preach "One day at a time" here but THAT realization and THIS place, cured me of my need of it AND destroyed any false romantic notion of how it made me or my life better. Am I still an addict? Yep. Always will be. Once opened, that door never closes but... I walked away from that door and will forever keep walking away from it. That's a choice I will make until I die.
I used to be a little scared of the addiction. I think that's probably normal for most. We KNOW what kind of hold that garbage had on us. It's logical to hold a healthy fear of it at that point. Fear like that does its job and keeps us running from it.
BUT... ultimately that means it still has some hold on you.
Freedom, real freedom, is when you know that YOU have ALL the power. All of it. That fear? Gone. Useless. Pointless. We win. Period.
You leave that addiction beat to hell and bleeding in a pulp behind its door that it can't crawl out of anymore and... you just keep walking.
You, my man, are fighting like an absolute beast. It's heartbreaking. It's inspiring.
This is just words on a page of some rando forum from some rando dude but... you've already won, man. You have. Whatever you're holding onto or whatever still has a hold on you? I can't say, but THE REALITY is that... YOU win. You.
AJ... 3,868
This literally sent chills down my spine. Shane, you are the man.
Took a little ride up to da hunting shack to kill time. Depression is moderate but now anxiety is creeping up. Usually does this time of the day and drops from now til bedtime. What an emotional roller coaster. You all have a good evening.
This too shall pass.
-
"...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own..."
One Day At A Time brother.
Truer words were never spoken.
Quitting with you today
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"...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own..."
One Day At A Time brother.
Truer words were never spoken.
Quitting with you today
Day 161. Some depression and anxiety but less than yesterday.
161 days ago I said fuck this filthy habit. I’m 58 years old and adding up all my dipping years I realize that I have been dipping nearly half my life. And for what? Missing out on family time so I can ninja dip? Telling my hot sexy wife that I’m to tired for sex so I can sneak off to dip instead? Passing up fishing trips with relatives because I ninja dip and wouldn’t be able to dip because we are in the same fishing boat? That’s some really fucked up behavior. That’s just a few of many many reasons I QUIT dipping. Fuck that shit. I quit one day at a time with all of you. I promise myself that I will not dip today.
Im going outside to enjoy the cold sunny day today.
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"...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own..."
One Day At A Time brother.
Truer words were never spoken.
Quitting with you today
Day 161. Some depression and anxiety but less than yesterday.
161 days ago I said fuck this filthy habit. I’m 58 years old and adding up all my dipping years I realize that I have been dipping nearly half my life. And for what? Missing out on family time so I can ninja dip? Telling my hot sexy wife that I’m to tired for sex so I can sneak off to dip instead? Passing up fishing trips with relatives because I ninja dip and wouldn’t be able to dip because we are in the same fishing boat? That’s some really fucked up behavior. That’s just a few of many many reasons I QUIT dipping. Fuck that shit. I quit one day at a time with all of you. I promise myself that I will not dip today.
Im going outside to enjoy the cold sunny day today.
Worktowin 3,983. Love the anger bro. I’m quit with you.
-
"...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own..."
One Day At A Time brother.
Truer words were never spoken.
Quitting with you today
Day 161. Some depression and anxiety but less than yesterday.
161 days ago I said fuck this filthy habit. I’m 58 years old and adding up all my dipping years I realize that I have been dipping nearly half my life. And for what? Missing out on family time so I can ninja dip? Telling my hot sexy wife that I’m to tired for sex so I can sneak off to dip instead? Passing up fishing trips with relatives because I ninja dip and wouldn’t be able to dip because we are in the same fishing boat? That’s some really fucked up behavior. That’s just a few of many many reasons I QUIT dipping. Fuck that shit. I quit one day at a time with all of you. I promise myself that I will not dip today.
Im going outside to enjoy the cold sunny day today.
Worktowin 3,983. Love the anger bro. I’m quit with you.
Keith0617 1872 ODAAT with all of you
-
"...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own..."
One Day At A Time brother.
Truer words were never spoken.
Quitting with you today
Day 161. Some depression and anxiety but less than yesterday.
161 days ago I said fuck this filthy habit. I’m 58 years old and adding up all my dipping years I realize that I have been dipping nearly half my life. And for what? Missing out on family time so I can ninja dip? Telling my hot sexy wife that I’m to tired for sex so I can sneak off to dip instead? Passing up fishing trips with relatives because I ninja dip and wouldn’t be able to dip because we are in the same fishing boat? That’s some really fucked up behavior. That’s just a few of many many reasons I QUIT dipping. Fuck that shit. I quit one day at a time with all of you. I promise myself that I will not dip today.
Im going outside to enjoy the cold sunny day today.
Worktowin 3,983. Love the anger bro. I’m quit with you.
Keith0617 1872 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,765 - lots of great stuff in here the last 24 hours. Damn proud to be quit with you all!
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Day 162. Feeling pretty flat and emotionless. No joy in anything. It’s my angry brain punishing me because it wants nicotine. Life is boring without it but that’s okay because nicotine is behind me. I promise not to dip today.
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Day 162. Feeling pretty flat and emotionless. No joy in anything. It’s my angry brain punishing me because it wants nicotine. Life is boring without it but that’s okay because nicotine is behind me. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1873 ODAAT
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Day 162. Feeling pretty flat and emotionless. No joy in anything. It’s my angry brain punishing me because it wants nicotine. Life is boring without it but that’s okay because nicotine is behind me. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1873 ODAAT
MN/2,766 learn to hate nicotine with every fiber of your being. it takes time but it's a mental shift that really strengthens the quit. I thought I hated nicotine when I quit knowing the hold it had on me. But it wasn't until hundreds of days into my quit that I truly learned to abhor both the chemical and everything it stole from me. Then at that point, even the thing that are 'boring' without dip take on a whole new light.
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Day 162. Feeling pretty flat and emotionless. No joy in anything. It’s my angry brain punishing me because it wants nicotine. Life is boring without it but that’s okay because nicotine is behind me. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1873 ODAAT
MN/2,766 learn to hate nicotine with every fiber of your being. it takes time but it's a mental shift that really strengthens the quit. I thought I hated nicotine when I quit knowing the hold it had on me. But it wasn't until hundreds of days into my quit that I truly learned to abhor both the chemical and everything it stole from me. Then at that point, even the thing that are 'boring' without dip take on a whole new light.
worktowin 3,984. Happy birhtday to me! I'm off work today, free from nicotine, and grocery shopping for thanksgiving!
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Day 162. Feeling pretty flat and emotionless. No joy in anything. It’s my angry brain punishing me because it wants nicotine. Life is boring without it but that’s okay because nicotine is behind me. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1873 ODAAT
MN/2,766 learn to hate nicotine with every fiber of your being. it takes time but it's a mental shift that really strengthens the quit. I thought I hated nicotine when I quit knowing the hold it had on me. But it wasn't until hundreds of days into my quit that I truly learned to abhor both the chemical and everything it stole from me. Then at that point, even the thing that are 'boring' without dip take on a whole new light.
worktowin 3,984. Happy birhtday to me! I'm off work today, free from nicotine, and grocery shopping for thanksgiving!
Happy birthday bud. Happy to be quit with all of you today.
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Day 163. Same as yesterday. No joy in anything. Feel like an emotions less robot. I can only take it one day at a time and on this day I promise not to dip.
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Day 163. Same as yesterday. No joy in anything. Feel like an emotions less robot. I can only take it one day at a time and on this day I promise not to dip.
MN/2,767 - any plans for Thanksgiving? Are you hosting or traveling or just chilling at home?
In the spirit of the holiday, try to make a conscious decision each day to find something to be thankful for and reflect on that. It may be difficult but it can help your brain as it recovers from decades of nicotine abuse.
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Day 163. Same as yesterday. No joy in anything. Feel like an emotions less robot. I can only take it one day at a time and on this day I promise not to dip.
MN/2,767 - any plans for Thanksgiving? Are you hosting or traveling or just chilling at home?
In the spirit of the holiday, try to make a conscious decision each day to find something to be thankful for and reflect on that. It may be difficult but it can help your brain as it recovers from decades of nicotine abuse.
Keith0617 1874 ODAAT
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Day 163. Same as yesterday. No joy in anything. Feel like an emotions less robot. I can only take it one day at a time and on this day I promise not to dip.
MN/2,767 - any plans for Thanksgiving? Are you hosting or traveling or just chilling at home?
In the spirit of the holiday, try to make a conscious decision each day to find something to be thankful for and reflect on that. It may be difficult but it can help your brain as it recovers from decades of nicotine abuse.
Keith0617 1874 ODAAT
Worktowin 3,985. Weird holiday. My closest relatives all passed away in the past 2 years so this holiday is with wife’s family. Still a lot to be thankful for. Starting with living in the greatest country on earth and being part of a bad as quit team.
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Day 163. Same as yesterday. No joy in anything. Feel like an emotions less robot. I can only take it one day at a time and on this day I promise not to dip.
MN/2,767 - any plans for Thanksgiving? Are you hosting or traveling or just chilling at home?
In the spirit of the holiday, try to make a conscious decision each day to find something to be thankful for and reflect on that. It may be difficult but it can help your brain as it recovers from decades of nicotine abuse.
Keith0617 1874 ODAAT
Worktowin 3,985. Weird holiday. My closest relatives all passed away in the past 2 years so this holiday is with wife’s family. Still a lot to be thankful for. Starting with living in the greatest country on earth and being part of a bad as quit team.
No plans for thanksgiving this year. Wife has to work, Son and family are going to daughter in law’s parents. I got the day off so I’ll just find something to do out in the garage. Just another day for me.
My head muscles are starting to tighten up again. Here comes another wave of anxiety. Last one lasted about two weeks. Hope this one ain’t as long.
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Day 164.
Feel slightly better this morning. Still pretty emotionally numb and find it impossible to find joy in anything. Not even looking forward to a 4 day weekend. Hopefully that will pass in time. I remember when I felt like that in the morning I would put in a big bite and all was good. Crazy how a can of dead plants can hijack the reward center of your brain.
I promise not to dip today.
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Day 164.
Feel slightly better this morning. Still pretty emotionally numb and find it impossible to find joy in anything. Not even looking forward to a 4 day weekend. Hopefully that will pass in time. I remember when I felt like that in the morning I would put in a big bite and all was good. Crazy how a can of dead plants can hijack the reward center of your brain.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1875 ODAAT with all of you
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Day 164.
Feel slightly better this morning. Still pretty emotionally numb and find it impossible to find joy in anything. Not even looking forward to a 4 day weekend. Hopefully that will pass in time. I remember when I felt like that in the morning I would put in a big bite and all was good. Crazy how a can of dead plants can hijack the reward center of your brain.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1875 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,768 - here is my word for the next 24. QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 164.
Feel slightly better this morning. Still pretty emotionally numb and find it impossible to find joy in anything. Not even looking forward to a 4 day weekend. Hopefully that will pass in time. I remember when I felt like that in the morning I would put in a big bite and all was good. Crazy how a can of dead plants can hijack the reward center of your brain.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1875 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,768 - here is my word for the next 24. QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 3,986. Today I am so thankful that I live in the greatest country on earth. So much to be thankful for. Honored to quit with you winners.
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Day 164.
Feel slightly better this morning. Still pretty emotionally numb and find it impossible to find joy in anything. Not even looking forward to a 4 day weekend. Hopefully that will pass in time. I remember when I felt like that in the morning I would put in a big bite and all was good. Crazy how a can of dead plants can hijack the reward center of your brain.
I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1875 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,768 - here is my word for the next 24. QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 3,986. Today I am so thankful that I live in the greatest country on earth. So much to be thankful for. Honored to quit with you winners.
I’m thankful that I don’t have to hide from anyone to ninja dip. I’m also thankful for having a quit family here on KTC. Happy Thanksgiving
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Worktowin 3,987. Incredibly thankful this morning to be in a warm house with abundant food to celebrate this special holiday. Today will not be tarnished with nicotine. Love you guys.
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Worktowin 3,987. Incredibly thankful this morning to be in a warm house with abundant food to celebrate this special holiday. Today will not be tarnished with nicotine. Love you guys.
Keith0617 1876 ODAAT So thankful for KTC and all of you. Love the freedom from nicotine.
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Worktowin 3,987. Incredibly thankful this morning to be in a warm house with abundant food to celebrate this special holiday. Today will not be tarnished with nicotine. Love you guys.
Day 165.
I actually feel at peace in my head today. I believe the anxiety has taken a day off. Although I have been feeling very disconnected emotionally I’m at peace today and for that I’m thankful. I know that there are better days ahead but this journey can only be done one day at a time and I am making it. Big tobacco will not get my money today and I will not dip today.
Happy Thanksgiving you guys and thank you all for being here with me.
I ninja dipped and now I ninja quit.
I can’t say I love you guys yet because I can’t feel love but as my Brain returns to normal functioning I’m sure I will feel at least a deep respect for you guys. Thank you again for being here.
Steve.
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Worktowin 3,987. Incredibly thankful this morning to be in a warm house with abundant food to celebrate this special holiday. Today will not be tarnished with nicotine. Love you guys.
Day 165.
I actually feel at peace in my head today. I believe the anxiety has taken a day off. Although I have been feeling very disconnected emotionally I’m at peace today and for that I’m thankful. I know that there are better days ahead but this journey can only be done one day at a time and I am making it. Big tobacco will not get my money today and I will not dip today.
Happy Thanksgiving you guys and thank you all for being here with me.
I ninja dipped and now I ninja quit.
I can’t say I love you guys yet because I can’t feel love but as my Brain returns to normal functioning I’m sure I will feel at least a deep respect for you guys. Thank you again for being here.
Steve.
So thankful for you all and KTC as a whole. Day 2,769 of freedom.
Ironically, I woke up to a panic attack at 5:10a last night. I've dealt with varying degrees of anxiety over the past 3-4 years but apparently never had a panic attack because what I experienced last night was not something I had dealt with before. Not sure what triggered it but hoping this isn't the start of something new.
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Worktowin 3,987. Incredibly thankful this morning to be in a warm house with abundant food to celebrate this special holiday. Today will not be tarnished with nicotine. Love you guys.
Day 165.
I actually feel at peace in my head today. I believe the anxiety has taken a day off. Although I have been feeling very disconnected emotionally I’m at peace today and for that I’m thankful. I know that there are better days ahead but this journey can only be done one day at a time and I am making it. Big tobacco will not get my money today and I will not dip today.
Happy Thanksgiving you guys and thank you all for being here with me.
I ninja dipped and now I ninja quit.
I can’t say I love you guys yet because I can’t feel love but as my Brain returns to normal functioning I’m sure I will feel at least a deep respect for you guys. Thank you again for being here.
Steve.
So thankful for you all and KTC as a whole. Day 2,769 of freedom.
Ironically, I woke up to a panic attack at 5:10a last night. I've dealt with varying degrees of anxiety over the past 3-4 years but apparently never had a panic attack because what I experienced last night was not something I had dealt with before. Not sure what triggered it but hoping this isn't the start of something new.
I hate panic attacks. Had several since I quit dipping. I hope they pass for you buddy.
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Day 166
Glad to be quit with all of you today.
No dip for me today.
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Day 166
Glad to be quit with all of you today.
No dip for me today.
Worktowin 3,988. Panic attacks are the real deal. I’m so thankful to be approaching 4k and 11 years of freedom. I was ninja too Steve. Man it takes a lot of effort to be that big of a liar. Freedom feels so good. MN I hope today brings you peace bro.
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Day 166
Glad to be quit with all of you today.
No dip for me today.
Worktowin 3,988. Panic attacks are the real deal. I’m so thankful to be approaching 4k and 11 years of freedom. I was ninja too Steve. Man it takes a lot of effort to be that big of a liar. Freedom feels so good. MN I hope today brings you peace bro.
Keith0617 1877 Quitting with all of you ODAAT
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Day 166
Glad to be quit with all of you today.
No dip for me today.
Worktowin 3,988. Panic attacks are the real deal. I’m so thankful to be approaching 4k and 11 years of freedom. I was ninja too Steve. Man it takes a lot of effort to be that big of a liar. Freedom feels so good. MN I hope today brings you peace bro.
Keith0617 1877 Quitting with all of you ODAAT
MN/2,770 - with you all today.
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Worktowin 3,989. Today I’m thankful for the snow that is headed into Kansas City that is making my in-laws leave a day early! Quit with you today.
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Worktowin 3,989. Today I’m thankful for the snow that is headed into Kansas City that is making my in-laws leave a day early! Quit with you today.
Day 167. I feel ok. No anxiety but still emotionally flat. Better days are ahead.
Today I promise not to dip.
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Worktowin 3,989. Today I’m thankful for the snow that is headed into Kansas City that is making my in-laws leave a day early! Quit with you today.
Day 167. I feel ok. No anxiety but still emotionally flat. Better days are ahead.
Today I promise not to dip.
MN/2,771 - appreciate any small improvements. It’s a great day to be QUIT.
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Worktowin 3,989. Today I’m thankful for the snow that is headed into Kansas City that is making my in-laws leave a day early! Quit with you today.
Day 167. I feel ok. No anxiety but still emotionally flat. Better days are ahead.
Today I promise not to dip.
MN/2,771 - appreciate any small improvements. It’s a great day to be QUIT.
I've always felt that flat mode was also a kind of "Protection Mode"... it's your whole being taking a bit of a breather from all the fighting. Keep at it brutha. You've got bros here right next to you.
AJ... 3,875
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Worktowin 3,989. Today I’m thankful for the snow that is headed into Kansas City that is making my in-laws leave a day early! Quit with you today.
Day 167. I feel ok. No anxiety but still emotionally flat. Better days are ahead.
Today I promise not to dip.
MN/2,771 - appreciate any small improvements. It’s a great day to be QUIT.
I've always felt that flat mode was also a kind of "Protection Mode"... it's your whole being taking a bit of a breather from all the fighting. Keep at it brutha. You've got bros here right next to you.
AJ... 3,875
Keith0617 1878 ODAAT with all of you
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Dusting of snow overnight. But great day to be QUIT. MN/2,772
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Dusting of snow overnight. But great day to be QUIT. MN/2,772
Worktowin 3,990. Thankful that all of this Christmas stuff is finally up!
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Dusting of snow overnight. But great day to be QUIT. MN/2,772
Worktowin 3,990. Thankful that all of this Christmas stuff is finally up!
Same dusting here in the north part. Couldn’t imagine having a dip today. Happy to be quit with all of you.
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Dusting of snow overnight. But great day to be QUIT. MN/2,772
Worktowin 3,990. Thankful that all of this Christmas stuff is finally up!
Same dusting here in the north part. Couldn’t imagine having a dip today. Happy to be quit with all of you.
Keith0617 1879 ODAAT
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Dusting of snow overnight. But great day to be QUIT. MN/2,772
Worktowin 3,990. Thankful that all of this Christmas stuff is finally up!
Same dusting here in the north part. Couldn’t imagine having a dip today. Happy to be quit with all of you.
Keith0617 1879 ODAAT
I forgot to mention that it’s day 168 and I actually feel ok. No anxiety or depression but still feeling a little emotionally weak. Still not much interest in things that used to bring my joy. It’s called apathy and it will pass in time. I still find that activities that I did while dipping seem pointless but again that will pass in time. See all you quitters in the morning.
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Day 169 and feeling ok.
It’s a good day to skip the dip. No dip for me today.
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Day 169 and feeling ok.
It’s a good day to skip the dip. No dip for me today.
'Skip the dip' - I like it! With you today Steve! MN/2,773
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Day 169 and feeling ok.
It’s a good day to skip the dip. No dip for me today.
'Skip the dip' - I like it! With you today Steve! MN/2,773
worktowin 3,991. It's a Monday. How is it that when you have a couple of days off, when you go back you are 2 days behind???? Weird.
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Day 169 and feeling ok.
It’s a good day to skip the dip. No dip for me today.
'Skip the dip' - I like it! With you today Steve! MN/2,773
worktowin 3,991. It's a Monday. How is it that when you have a couple of days off, when you go back you are 2 days behind???? Weird.
Keith0617 1880 ODAAT with all of you
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Day 169 and feeling ok.
It’s a good day to skip the dip. No dip for me today.
'Skip the dip' - I like it! With you today Steve! MN/2,773
worktowin 3,991. It's a Monday. How is it that when you have a couple of days off, when you go back you are 2 days behind???? Weird.
Keith0617 1880 ODAAT with all of you
Day 170
No dip for my lip today.
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Day 170
No dip for my lip today. Happy to be quit with all of you.
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Day 170
No dip for my lip today. Happy to be quit with all of you.
MN/2,774 - damn proud to be quit with you TODAY!
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Day 170
No dip for my lip today. Happy to be quit with all of you.
MN/2,774 - damn proud to be quit with you TODAY!
worktowin three thousand nine hundred ninety two days. Man does it feel good to type that out. I'm quit with you winners today.
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Day 170
No dip for my lip today. Happy to be quit with all of you.
MN/2,774 - damn proud to be quit with you TODAY!
worktowin three thousand nine hundred ninety two days. Man does it feel good to type that out. I'm quit with you winners today.
Keith0617 1881 ODAAT with all of you
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Day 171
No dip for Dipchit today.
ODAAT.
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Day 171
No dip for Dipchit today.
ODAAT.
worktowin 3,993. Beautiful dip free day here in the Midwest. Have most of my Christmas shopping done, and feeling great. Love you guys, and honored to be on this team.
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Day 171
No dip for Dipchit today.
ODAAT.
worktowin 3,993. Beautiful dip free day here in the Midwest. Have most of my Christmas shopping done, and feeling great. Love you guys, and honored to be on this team.
AJ… 3,879 QLF
So, I’m leaving for Italy in a couple weeks. My wife and I are picking up our daughter who is doing her fall term in Rome. She’s a senior in college this year. We’re all going to travel for most of December. Now, being a somewhat anxious dude, I’m already sweating the heavy flight days. Me no likey to fly. I will be drugged up. Period. Lol!!
Anyway, it dawns on me that almost 10 years ago to the month (give or take a few days) I was vacay’ing with the fam for the first time dip free. Previous to that I spent an inordinate amount of time and asinine effort to figure out how to dip on vacay. It was awful. So much headspace taken up with that. I would pack separate from my wife so I could bring a stash that was hopefully enough for the trip. Rationing dips… recycling short ones. Omg, it’s gross and embarrassing to think about! Then when we got to where we were going, trying to find a hiding spot for it.
Good. Lord.
It was stupid.
I can’t even begin to imagine traveling in Europe for weeks and trying to manage this addiction. I just can’t fathom it! That amount of stress on top of my already elevated flying stress likely would have caused some sort of stoke or out of body experience.
Freedom is SO damn cool.
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Day 171
No dip for Dipchit today.
ODAAT.
worktowin 3,993. Beautiful dip free day here in the Midwest. Have most of my Christmas shopping done, and feeling great. Love you guys, and honored to be on this team.
AJ… 3,879 QLF
So, I’m leaving for Italy in a couple weeks. My wife and I are picking up our daughter who is doing her fall term in Rome. She’s a senior in college this year. We’re all going to travel for most of December. Now, being a somewhat anxious dude, I’m already sweating the heavy flight days. Me no likey to fly. I will be drugged up. Period. Lol!!
Anyway, it dawns on me that almost 10 years ago to the month (give or take a few days) I was vacay’ing with the fam for the first time dip free. Previous to that I spent an inordinate amount of time and asinine effort to figure out how to dip on vacay. It was awful. So much headspace taken up with that. I would pack separate from my wife so I could bring a stash that was hopefully enough for the trip. Rationing dips… recycling short ones. Omg, it’s gross and embarrassing to think about! Then when we got to where we were going, trying to find a hiding spot for it.
Good. Lord.
It was stupid.
I can’t even begin to imagine traveling in Europe for weeks and trying to manage this addiction. I just can’t fathom it! That amount of stress on top of my already elevated flying stress likely would have caused some sort of stoke or out of body experience.
Freedom is SO damn cool.
MN/2,775 - my word is my bond for the next 24 hours; with you all TODAY.
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Day 171
No dip for Dipchit today.
ODAAT.
worktowin 3,993. Beautiful dip free day here in the Midwest. Have most of my Christmas shopping done, and feeling great. Love you guys, and honored to be on this team.
AJ… 3,879 QLF
So, I’m leaving for Italy in a couple weeks. My wife and I are picking up our daughter who is doing her fall term in Rome. She’s a senior in college this year. We’re all going to travel for most of December. Now, being a somewhat anxious dude, I’m already sweating the heavy flight days. Me no likey to fly. I will be drugged up. Period. Lol!!
Anyway, it dawns on me that almost 10 years ago to the month (give or take a few days) I was vacay’ing with the fam for the first time dip free. Previous to that I spent an inordinate amount of time and asinine effort to figure out how to dip on vacay. It was awful. So much headspace taken up with that. I would pack separate from my wife so I could bring a stash that was hopefully enough for the trip. Rationing dips… recycling short ones. Omg, it’s gross and embarrassing to think about! Then when we got to where we were going, trying to find a hiding spot for it.
Good. Lord.
It was stupid.
I can’t even begin to imagine traveling in Europe for weeks and trying to manage this addiction. I just can’t fathom it! That amount of stress on top of my already elevated flying stress likely would have caused some sort of stoke or out of body experience.
Freedom is SO damn cool.
MN/2,775 - my word is my bond for the next 24 hours; with you all TODAY.
Keith0617 1882 ODAAT with all of you
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Day 172.
Still feeling emotionally blunted and having trouble focusing on anything without a lip full of cat chit. Crazy how much nicotine reprograms our brains. No anxiety though and that’s huge. No dipping for this Dipchit today.
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Day 172.
Still feeling emotionally blunted and having trouble focusing on anything without a lip full of cat chit. Crazy how much nicotine reprograms our brains. No anxiety though and that’s huge. No dipping for this Dipchit today.
MN/2,776 - continue to embrace and appreciate the small indicators of progress. I quit with you TODAY.
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Day 172.
Still feeling emotionally blunted and having trouble focusing on anything without a lip full of cat chit. Crazy how much nicotine reprograms our brains. No anxiety though and that’s huge. No dipping for this Dipchit today.
MN/2,776 - continue to embrace and appreciate the small indicators of progress. I quit with you TODAY.
worktowin 3,994. Being an addict takes a lot of effort. Taking back freedom does too. Steve, not sure if you've caught on to this, but your posts are beginning to show signs of healing. One day at a time, life does start to get better. You are in that phase. Celebrate the wins, however small they are. Small wins turn into big ones. You are getting there. And I'm honored to be on this crazy ass ride with you.
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Day 172.
Still feeling emotionally blunted and having trouble focusing on anything without a lip full of cat chit. Crazy how much nicotine reprograms our brains. No anxiety though and that’s huge. No dipping for this Dipchit today.
MN/2,776 - continue to embrace and appreciate the small indicators of progress. I quit with you TODAY.
worktowin 3,994. Being an addict takes a lot of effort. Taking back freedom does too. Steve, not sure if you've caught on to this, but your posts are beginning to show signs of healing. One day at a time, life does start to get better. You are in that phase. Celebrate the wins, however small they are. Small wins turn into big ones. You are getting there. And I'm honored to be on this crazy ass ride with you.
Keith0617 1883 ODAAT
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Day 172.
Still feeling emotionally blunted and having trouble focusing on anything without a lip full of cat chit. Crazy how much nicotine reprograms our brains. No anxiety though and that’s huge. No dipping for this Dipchit today.
MN/2,776 - continue to embrace and appreciate the small indicators of progress. I quit with you TODAY.
worktowin 3,994. Being an addict takes a lot of effort. Taking back freedom does too. Steve, not sure if you've caught on to this, but your posts are beginning to show signs of healing. One day at a time, life does start to get better. You are in that phase. Celebrate the wins, however small they are. Small wins turn into big ones. You are getting there. And I'm honored to be on this crazy ass ride with you.
Keith0617 1883 ODAAT
Stranger999 3,009 W2W is right. Nicotine addiction does take a lot of effort. Lots of trips to the c-store, lots of hiding, lots of worrying about trips to the dentist. Once you've broken free there's a lot of time to recover. I quit with you today!
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Day 173.
Feeling rather down today. Not depressed but just down. Yes I am healing one day at a time. If I think back to the beginning and even back a month ago I can see the progress. It just floors me when you talk to a 40 year smoker that quit and 4 weeks later it’s all behind them. Here we dippers are several months later still struggling. There must be more addictive chemicals added to dip than cigs. Anyway I’m honored to be quit with my quit family today. No dip for me to day.
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Day 173.
Feeling rather down today. Not depressed but just down. Yes I am healing one day at a time. If I think back to the beginning and even back a month ago I can see the progress. It just floors me when you talk to a 40 year smoker that quit and 4 weeks later it’s all behind them. Here we dippers are several months later still struggling. There must be more addictive chemicals added to dip than cigs. Anyway I’m honored to be quit with my quit family today. No dip for me to day.
Worktowin 3,995. One tin of dip has the nicotine equivalent of 3 packs of cigs. How many 3 pack a day smokers do you know? Not very damn many.
Today I am SUPER thankful for the amazing salt bagel and cream cheese that I devoured on my way to work this morning. What a great way to end the week.
You guys are the best.
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Day 173.
Feeling rather down today. Not depressed but just down. Yes I am healing one day at a time. If I think back to the beginning and even back a month ago I can see the progress. It just floors me when you talk to a 40 year smoker that quit and 4 weeks later it’s all behind them. Here we dippers are several months later still struggling. There must be more addictive chemicals added to dip than cigs. Anyway I’m honored to be quit with my quit family today. No dip for me to day.
Worktowin 3,995. One tin of dip has the nicotine equivalent of 3 packs of cigs. How many 3 pack a day smokers do you know? Not very damn many.
Today I am SUPER thankful for the amazing salt bagel and cream cheese that I devoured on my way to work this morning. What a great way to end the week.
You guys are the best.
2,777 - yup, a can of dip contains wayyyyy more nicotine than a pack of cigs. Try not to compare your experience with others too much as each person is different which includes their healing/recovery timelines. I'm glad you are able to recognize the progress. Proud to be quit with you TODAY.
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Day 173.
Feeling rather down today. Not depressed but just down. Yes I am healing one day at a time. If I think back to the beginning and even back a month ago I can see the progress. It just floors me when you talk to a 40 year smoker that quit and 4 weeks later it’s all behind them. Here we dippers are several months later still struggling. There must be more addictive chemicals added to dip than cigs. Anyway I’m honored to be quit with my quit family today. No dip for me to day.
Worktowin 3,995. One tin of dip has the nicotine equivalent of 3 packs of cigs. How many 3 pack a day smokers do you know? Not very damn many.
Today I am SUPER thankful for the amazing salt bagel and cream cheese that I devoured on my way to work this morning. What a great way to end the week.
You guys are the best.
2,777 - yup, a can of dip contains wayyyyy more nicotine than a pack of cigs. Try not to compare your experience with others too much as each person is different which includes their healing/recovery timelines. I'm glad you are able to recognize the progress. Proud to be quit with you TODAY.
Right before I quit my 20 year addiction ‘o’ stoopedness… I was doing 2 cans a day.
Omg.
I’m thankful and STILL amazed that my mouth and teeth are perfect. The benies of quitting still blow me away 10 years after that “Day 1… I quit” that I typed.
You’re killin’ it, man. Rock the day…
AJ… 3,881
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Day 173.
Feeling rather down today. Not depressed but just down. Yes I am healing one day at a time. If I think back to the beginning and even back a month ago I can see the progress. It just floors me when you talk to a 40 year smoker that quit and 4 weeks later it’s all behind them. Here we dippers are several months later still struggling. There must be more addictive chemicals added to dip than cigs. Anyway I’m honored to be quit with my quit family today. No dip for me to day.
Worktowin 3,995. One tin of dip has the nicotine equivalent of 3 packs of cigs. How many 3 pack a day smokers do you know? Not very damn many.
Today I am SUPER thankful for the amazing salt bagel and cream cheese that I devoured on my way to work this morning. What a great way to end the week.
You guys are the best.
2,777 - yup, a can of dip contains wayyyyy more nicotine than a pack of cigs. Try not to compare your experience with others too much as each person is different which includes their healing/recovery timelines. I'm glad you are able to recognize the progress. Proud to be quit with you TODAY.
Right before I quit my 20 year addiction ‘o’ stoopedness… I was doing 2 cans a day.
Omg.
I’m thankful and STILL amazed that my mouth and teeth are perfect. The benies of quitting still blow me away 10 years after that “Day 1… I quit” that I typed.
You’re killin’ it, man. Rock the day…
AJ… 3,881
Keith0617 1884 ODAAT with all of you
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Day 174
Feeling better than yesterday. I feel some emotions today such as love for my wife and family. When you have anhidonia it really fucks with your mind. It’s like you come home and your house burned to the ground and you just don’t feel anything or give a chit and shrug your shoulders and say to yourself “oh well” That’s anhidonia. Zero emotion. Today I actually feel like I care a little bit about life. That’s progress and I will take it. Anyway I am quit with all of my quit family. No dip for me today.
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Day 174
Feeling better than yesterday. I feel some emotions today such as love for my wife and family. When you have anhidonia it really fucks with your mind. It’s like you come home and your house burned to the ground and you just don’t feel anything or give a chit and shrug your shoulders and say to yourself “oh well” That’s anhidonia. Zero emotion. Today I actually feel like I care a little bit about life. That’s progress and I will take it. Anyway I am quit with all of my quit family. No dip for me today.
Keith0617 1885 ODAAT
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Worktowin 3,997. Sorry i missed yesterday. I’m quit with you on a cold and dreary December morning. Go Chiefs!
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Worktowin 3,997. Sorry i missed yesterday. I’m quit with you on a cold and dreary December morning. Go Chiefs!
Day 175 and still alive.
Feeling okay today but still not much intrest in hobbies etc. Always had a lip full while hunting and fishing and wheeling and snowmobiling etc. Don’t feel the same without my crutch or dopamine rush. That will pass. No dip for me today.
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Worktowin 3,997. Sorry i missed yesterday. I’m quit with you on a cold and dreary December morning. Go Chiefs!
Day 175 and still alive.
Feeling okay today but still not much intrest in hobbies etc. Always had a lip full while hunting and fishing and wheeling and snowmobiling etc. Don’t feel the same without my crutch or dopamine rush. That will pass. No dip for me today.
Keith0617 1886 ODAAT with all of you
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Worktowin 3,997. Sorry i missed yesterday. I’m quit with you on a cold and dreary December morning. Go Chiefs!
Day 175 and still alive.
Feeling okay today but still not much intrest in hobbies etc. Always had a lip full while hunting and fishing and wheeling and snowmobiling etc. Don’t feel the same without my crutch or dopamine rush. That will pass. No dip for me today.
Keith0617 1886 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,779 sorry I missed yesterday in here as well. I saw others posting and didn't want to bump anyone and failed to come back. Excited to hear of your small improvements Steve. Proud to be quit with you TODAY.
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Worktowin 3,997. Sorry i missed yesterday. I’m quit with you on a cold and dreary December morning. Go Chiefs!
Day 175 and still alive.
Feeling okay today but still not much intrest in hobbies etc. Always had a lip full while hunting and fishing and wheeling and snowmobiling etc. Don’t feel the same without my crutch or dopamine rush. That will pass. No dip for me today.
Keith0617 1886 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,779 sorry I missed yesterday in here as well. I saw others posting and didn't want to bump anyone and failed to come back. Excited to hear of your small improvements Steve. Proud to be quit with you TODAY.
Ok, maybe it's me? I dunno...
Your level of reminiscing is counterproductive. You seem to be constantly associating activities as having been being better with dip. All are somewhat troubling to me.
You have to leave it ALL behind. ALL of it. Holding on to those particular kinds of thoughts are STILL you holding on to a romanticized notion of dip. More often than not, you're writing something that has an iteration of "... don't feel the same without my dip". That kind of vocab should have disappeared a long time ago. You seem to feel a legit hatred for nicotine, but is that it, or is it more that you can't stand the level of mental trauma this has all caused you? I'm no mental pro so forgive me if I'm off base! Just spitballin' here. Something in your reminiscing tone sets off alarm bells for me. Rock the day, bro...
AJ... 3,883
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Day 176
I hate Monday’s. I will not reminisce or dip today. That’s my promise.
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Day 176
I hate Monday’s. I will not reminisce or dip today. That’s my promise.
MN/2,780 to piggyback a bit off AJ's post from yesterday...
Many people when they make the decision to quit do so because they hit bottom. Dip/nicotine has eroded their lives, wallets, relationships, etc. so far that for them, it's all or nothing. They hate nicotine out of the gate and that fuels their quit.
Other people, like myself, quit because I knew if I continued down that path, it would lead to regret and who knows how many health issues (I turned 26 three days before my quit date). I disliked nicotine and the hold it had on me but hadn't really got to a level of hatred yet. So for me, my quit involved keeping all nicotine out of my system but I also had to learn to abhor this chemical that I was fighting against. So many activities that revolved around dip didn't appeal to me anymore. But now, I can't imagine doing those same activities WITH dip.
Quitting is certainly as much (if not more) a mind game than a physical battle. The nic bitch will make you lie to yourself in ways you couldn't have imagined to try and get her fix. Mental reinforcements that nicotine is poison slowly help shift your perspective and will help you enjoy activities you used to do with a lip full of cat shit. And the hard truth is that some activities you used to "enjoy" may no longer be a part of your life. But did you do them because you truly enjoyed them or just because they gave you an opportunity to feed your addiction easier? Be honest with yourself.
Just some food for thought. Really appreciate your continued journaling. KTC is an accountability resource so it's our responsibility to call out thing we observe and help each other stay focused and honest. Proud to be quit with you today Steve.
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Day 176
I hate Monday’s. I will not reminisce or dip today. That’s my promise.
MN/2,780 to piggyback a bit off AJ's post from yesterday...
Many people when they make the decision to quit do so because they hit bottom. Dip/nicotine has eroded their lives, wallets, relationships, etc. so far that for them, it's all or nothing. They hate nicotine out of the gate and that fuels their quit.
Other people, like myself, quit because I knew if I continued down that path, it would lead to regret and who knows how many health issues (I turned 26 three days before my quit date). I disliked nicotine and the hold it had on me but hadn't really got to a level of hatred yet. So for me, my quit involved keeping all nicotine out of my system but I also had to learn to abhor this chemical that I was fighting against. So many activities that revolved around dip didn't appeal to me anymore. But now, I can't imagine doing those same activities WITH dip.
Quitting is certainly as much (if not more) a mind game than a physical battle. The nic bitch will make you lie to yourself in ways you couldn't have imagined to try and get her fix. Mental reinforcements that nicotine is poison slowly help shift your perspective and will help you enjoy activities you used to do with a lip full of cat shit. And the hard truth is that some activities you used to "enjoy" may no longer be a part of your life. But did you do them because you truly enjoyed them or just because they gave you an opportunity to feed your addiction easier? Be honest with yourself.
Just some food for thought. Really appreciate your continued journaling. KTC is an accountability resource so it's our responsibility to call out thing we observe and help each other stay focused and honest. Proud to be quit with you today Steve.
worktowin 3,998.
Oh, my Chiefs. What a painful game that was.
I quit a little after my 41st birthday. I went to the doctor, and he told me that I could either make some changes, or I might want to double check my life insurance coverage. Every number that should be low was high, and every number that should be high was low. I went on a major eating and exercise change the next day, and about 3 weeks later I quit. Life was a constant fight for the first 150 days, much like it has been for Steve. But after 150 days I occasionally had a good day, again, much like Steve. There were still bumps for sure, but it wasn't 24-hours a day in the trenches.
Since then, I've seen my brother die of tongue cancer, not tobacco related. And gentlemen, I can assure you that I've never seen anything like what that Steve went through, and I hope I never see it again. I'm so thankful that I quit and don't have that hanging over my head, because to be willingly be doing something that could put my family through that hell would be more than I think I could take at this point in life. There is no romanticizing or missing tobacco for me at this point, there is only rage.
I'll end with that. Love you guys. Michael
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Day 176
I hate Monday’s. I will not reminisce or dip today. That’s my promise.
MN/2,780 to piggyback a bit off AJ's post from yesterday...
Many people when they make the decision to quit do so because they hit bottom. Dip/nicotine has eroded their lives, wallets, relationships, etc. so far that for them, it's all or nothing. They hate nicotine out of the gate and that fuels their quit.
Other people, like myself, quit because I knew if I continued down that path, it would lead to regret and who knows how many health issues (I turned 26 three days before my quit date). I disliked nicotine and the hold it had on me but hadn't really got to a level of hatred yet. So for me, my quit involved keeping all nicotine out of my system but I also had to learn to abhor this chemical that I was fighting against. So many activities that revolved around dip didn't appeal to me anymore. But now, I can't imagine doing those same activities WITH dip.
Quitting is certainly as much (if not more) a mind game than a physical battle. The nic bitch will make you lie to yourself in ways you couldn't have imagined to try and get her fix. Mental reinforcements that nicotine is poison slowly help shift your perspective and will help you enjoy activities you used to do with a lip full of cat shit. And the hard truth is that some activities you used to "enjoy" may no longer be a part of your life. But did you do them because you truly enjoyed them or just because they gave you an opportunity to feed your addiction easier? Be honest with yourself.
Just some food for thought. Really appreciate your continued journaling. KTC is an accountability resource so it's our responsibility to call out thing we observe and help each other stay focused and honest. Proud to be quit with you today Steve.
worktowin 3,998.
Oh, my Chiefs. What a painful game that was.
I quit a little after my 41st birthday. I went to the doctor, and he told me that I could either make some changes, or I might want to double check my life insurance coverage. Every number that should be low was high, and every number that should be high was low. I went on a major eating and exercise change the next day, and about 3 weeks later I quit. Life was a constant fight for the first 150 days, much like it has been for Steve. But after 150 days I occasionally had a good day, again, much like Steve. There were still bumps for sure, but it wasn't 24-hours a day in the trenches.
Since then, I've seen my brother die of tongue cancer, not tobacco related. And gentlemen, I can assure you that I've never seen anything like what that Steve went through, and I hope I never see it again. I'm so thankful that I quit and don't have that hanging over my head, because to be willingly be doing something that could put my family through that hell would be more than I think I could take at this point in life. There is no romanticizing or missing tobacco for me at this point, there is only rage.
I'll end with that. Love you guys. Michael
Keith0617 1887 ODAAT with all of you
-
Day 176
I hate Monday’s. I will not reminisce or dip today. That’s my promise.
MN/2,780 to piggyback a bit off AJ's post from yesterday...
Many people when they make the decision to quit do so because they hit bottom. Dip/nicotine has eroded their lives, wallets, relationships, etc. so far that for them, it's all or nothing. They hate nicotine out of the gate and that fuels their quit.
Other people, like myself, quit because I knew if I continued down that path, it would lead to regret and who knows how many health issues (I turned 26 three days before my quit date). I disliked nicotine and the hold it had on me but hadn't really got to a level of hatred yet. So for me, my quit involved keeping all nicotine out of my system but I also had to learn to abhor this chemical that I was fighting against. So many activities that revolved around dip didn't appeal to me anymore. But now, I can't imagine doing those same activities WITH dip.
Quitting is certainly as much (if not more) a mind game than a physical battle. The nic bitch will make you lie to yourself in ways you couldn't have imagined to try and get her fix. Mental reinforcements that nicotine is poison slowly help shift your perspective and will help you enjoy activities you used to do with a lip full of cat shit. And the hard truth is that some activities you used to "enjoy" may no longer be a part of your life. But did you do them because you truly enjoyed them or just because they gave you an opportunity to feed your addiction easier? Be honest with yourself.
Just some food for thought. Really appreciate your continued journaling. KTC is an accountability resource so it's our responsibility to call out thing we observe and help each other stay focused and honest. Proud to be quit with you today Steve.
worktowin 3,998.
Oh, my Chiefs. What a painful game that was.
I quit a little after my 41st birthday. I went to the doctor, and he told me that I could either make some changes, or I might want to double check my life insurance coverage. Every number that should be low was high, and every number that should be high was low. I went on a major eating and exercise change the next day, and about 3 weeks later I quit. Life was a constant fight for the first 150 days, much like it has been for Steve. But after 150 days I occasionally had a good day, again, much like Steve. There were still bumps for sure, but it wasn't 24-hours a day in the trenches.
Since then, I've seen my brother die of tongue cancer, not tobacco related. And gentlemen, I can assure you that I've never seen anything like what that Steve went through, and I hope I never see it again. I'm so thankful that I quit and don't have that hanging over my head, because to be willingly be doing something that could put my family through that hell would be more than I think I could take at this point in life. There is no romanticizing or missing tobacco for me at this point, there is only rage.
I'll end with that. Love you guys. Michael
Keith0617 1887 ODAAT with all of you
Day 177.
Still feeling rather emotionally numb but I do get glimmers of feelings from time to time. Otherwise I just go through the motions like a robot. It’s unbelievable how much damage nicotine causes to our brains. This to shall pass. Thanks for the words of wisdom guys. I will not dip today.
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Day 177
No dip today.
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Day 177
No dip today.
MN/2,781 with you TODAY.
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Day 177
No dip today.
MN/2,781 with you TODAY.
AJ… 3,885 and fightin’ the good fight alongside ya, brutha.
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Day 177
No dip today.
MN/2,781 with you TODAY.
AJ… 3,885 and fightin’ the good fight alongside ya, brutha.
worktowin on the eve of my 4,000 celebration.... It was about 11 years ago now that I went to see my doctor, a fat, angry, addicted shell of who I am today. Quitting made me a better man, a better husband, a way better friend, a better son, a better employee, a better leader, and it improved the health of my body, mind, and wallet. I'm so thankful that I had a doctor 11 years ago with the balls (OK, it was a woman doctor, but still...) to be direct with me and help me get my mind adjusted. Quit with you guys today.
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Day 177
No dip today.
MN/2,781 with you TODAY.
AJ… 3,885 and fightin’ the good fight alongside ya, brutha.
worktowin on the eve of my 4,000 celebration.... It was about 11 years ago now that I went to see my doctor, a fat, angry, addicted shell of who I am today. Quitting made me a better man, a better husband, a way better friend, a better son, a better employee, a better leader, and it improved the health of my body, mind, and wallet. I'm so thankful that I had a doctor 11 years ago with the balls (OK, it was a woman doctor, but still...) to be direct with me and help me get my mind adjusted. Quit with you guys today.
Keith0617 1888 ODAAT big day tomorrow @worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436)
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Day 178.
Congratulations to Mr. Worktowin for 4000 days of telling the nic bitch to fuck off. Great job. Someday I’ll be there too. I quit with all you guys today.
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Day 178.
Congratulations to Mr. Worktowin for 4000 days of telling the nic bitch to fuck off. Great job. Someday I’ll be there too. I quit with all you guys today.
MN/2,782 with Steve and everyone here TODAY.
To Michael, congrats on 4k brother!! Your quit is officially now in high definition!
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Day 178.
Congratulations to Mr. Worktowin for 4000 days of telling the nic bitch to fuck off. Great job. Someday I’ll be there too. I quit with all you guys today.
MN/2,782 with Steve and everyone here TODAY.
To Michael, congrats on 4k brother!! Your quit is officially now in high definition!
wortktowin 4,000
First post of my day is here! Today I'm thankful for my quit brothers, and I'm also (and this is weird and twisted) very thankful that my first 150 days were rough as hell, because any time after that when I was tempted, I could look back and get that disgusting feeling that I NEVER EVER EVER want to go through that again. Because, gentlemen, I will not let you down. One day at a time, I am quit. Thank you for the pleasure of quitting with you, and for your support. God Bless.
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Day 178.
Congratulations to Mr. Worktowin for 4000 days of telling the nic bitch to fuck off. Great job. Someday I’ll be there too. I quit with all you guys today.
MN/2,782 with Steve and everyone here TODAY.
To Michael, congrats on 4k brother!! Your quit is officially now in high definition!
wortktowin 4,000
First post of my day is here! Today I'm thankful for my quit brothers, and I'm also (and this is weird and twisted) very thankful that my first 150 days were rough as hell, because any time after that when I was tempted, I could look back and get that disgusting feeling that I NEVER EVER EVER want to go through that again. Because, gentlemen, I will not let you down. One day at a time, I am quit. Thank you for the pleasure of quitting with you, and for your support. God Bless.
Keith0617 1889 ODAAT. One badass quitter right there @worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) 'Sing and Drink'
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Day 179
Almost 1/2 a year and still quit.
Today i promise to not dip.
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Day 179
Almost 1/2 a year and still quit.
Today i promise to not dip.
MN/2,783 you have my word TODAY.
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Day 179
Almost 1/2 a year and still quit.
Today i promise to not dip.
MN/2,783 you have my word TODAY.
worktowin 4,001. Here to give my word today as well, gentlemen.
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Day 179
Almost 1/2 a year and still quit.
Today i promise to not dip.
MN/2,783 you have my word TODAY.
worktowin 4,001. Here to give my word today as well, gentlemen.
Keith0617 1890 ODAAT
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Day 180
Feel like shit. Some anxiety and depression so far today. Had some brain zaps last night after dinner so I knew something was wrong. Another wave is approaching. Just when you think it’s going away it comes roaring back. Anyway my promise is to not dip today.
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Day 180
Feel like shit. Some anxiety and depression so far today. Had some brain zaps last night after dinner so I knew something was wrong. Another wave is approaching. Just when you think it’s going away it comes roaring back. Anyway my promise is to not dip today.
MN/2,784 with you TODAY Steve. QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 180
Feel like shit. Some anxiety and depression so far today. Had some brain zaps last night after dinner so I knew something was wrong. Another wave is approaching. Just when you think it’s going away it comes roaring back. Anyway my promise is to not dip today.
MN/2,784 with you TODAY Steve. QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 4,002. Never again. Don't forget, Steve.... you've had a nice run of some freedom, and there is more ahead. Nicotine is fucking with your head again. Fuck that.
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Keith0617 1892 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and all of you
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Keith0617 1892 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and all of you
Day 181
Withdrawal is back in full force. Anxiety and depression are kicking my ass. Lost interest in life’s pleasures again. Feels like I’m back to the first week. This is insane what a person has to go through especially after thinking it was getting better every day and in the rear view mirror. I promise not to dip today.
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Keith0617 1892 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and all of you
Day 181
Withdrawal is back in full force. Anxiety and depression are kicking my ass. Lost interest in life’s pleasures again. Feels like I’m back to the first week. This is insane what a person has to go through especially after thinking it was getting better every day and in the rear view mirror. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,785 - in my 7.5+ years on KTC, I've never witnessed a single quit path that was linear. The trend line is linear but the process if full of hills and valleys. You are making progress even on the days that seem like you are sliding backwards. The only way to truly regress is to put nicotine in your body. If you are quit today you are winning. QLAMF ODAAT
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Keith0617 1892 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and all of you
Day 181
Withdrawal is back in full force. Anxiety and depression are kicking my ass. Lost interest in life’s pleasures again. Feels like I’m back to the first week. This is insane what a person has to go through especially after thinking it was getting better every day and in the rear view mirror. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,785 - in my 7.5+ years on KTC, I've never witnessed a single quit path that was linear. The trend line is linear but the process if full of hills and valleys. You are making progress even on the days that seem like you are sliding backwards. The only way to truly regress is to put nicotine in your body. If you are quit today you are winning. QLAMF ODAAT
Worktowin 4,003. MN knows what he’s talking about. Tonight is our neighborhood Christmas party. Should have great stories tomorrow! I’m quit as hell today with you gentlemen.
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Day 182
Same as yesterday. Another day in withdrawal hell. This too shall pass. No dipping today. Nic bitch can kiss my sober ass.
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Day 182
Same as yesterday. Another day in withdrawal hell. This too shall pass. No dipping today. Nic bitch can kiss my sober ass.
Worktowin 4,004. GO CHIEFS
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Day 182
Same as yesterday. Another day in withdrawal hell. This too shall pass. No dipping today. Nic bitch can kiss my sober ass.
Worktowin 4,004. GO CHIEFS
MN/2,786 - 20+ family over today to celebrate the kids' birthdays (both in December). This is my promise for a zero nicotine and zero alcohol day. QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 182
Same as yesterday. Another day in withdrawal hell. This too shall pass. No dipping today. Nic bitch can kiss my sober ass.
Worktowin 4,004. GO CHIEFS
MN/2,786 - 20+ family over today to celebrate the kids' birthdays (both in December). This is my promise for a zero nicotine and zero alcohol day. QLAMF ODAAT
Keith0617 1893 ODAAT
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Day 183
Anxiety, Depression, Anhidonia and now some pretty bad muscle spasms in my back and neck.
I promise no dip today.
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Day 183
Anxiety, Depression, Anhidonia and now some pretty bad muscle spasms in my back and neck.
I promise no dip today.
worktowin 4,005. Horrible football night last night, all the way around. But life goes on. I'm honored to quit with you today, brother.
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Day 183
Anxiety, Depression, Anhidonia and now some pretty bad muscle spasms in my back and neck.
I promise no dip today.
worktowin 4,005. Horrible football night last night, all the way around. But life goes on. I'm honored to quit with you today, brother.
MN/2,787 - pushing through today with Steve and all sad Eagles fans. QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 183
Anxiety, Depression, Anhidonia and now some pretty bad muscle spasms in my back and neck.
I promise no dip today.
worktowin 4,005. Horrible football night last night, all the way around. But life goes on. I'm honored to quit with you today, brother.
MN/2,787 - pushing through today with Steve and all sad Eagles fans. QLAMF ODAAT
Sitting here at lunch and the anxiety has turned into full blown fear. Trying my hardest not to have a full blown panic attack. It feels like it will never end. Wish I never took that first dip so many years ago. Stupid kid!!!
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Day 183
Anxiety, Depression, Anhidonia and now some pretty bad muscle spasms in my back and neck.
I promise no dip today.
worktowin 4,005. Horrible football night last night, all the way around. But life goes on. I'm honored to quit with you today, brother.
MN/2,787 - pushing through today with Steve and all sad Eagles fans. QLAMF ODAAT
Sitting here at lunch and the anxiety has turned into full blown fear. Trying my hardest not to have a full blown panic attack. It feels like it will never end. Wish I never took that first dip so many years ago. Stupid kid!!!
Keith0617 1894 ODAAT with all of you
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Day 183
Anxiety, Depression, Anhidonia and now some pretty bad muscle spasms in my back and neck.
I promise no dip today.
worktowin 4,005. Horrible football night last night, all the way around. But life goes on. I'm honored to quit with you today, brother.
MN/2,787 - pushing through today with Steve and all sad Eagles fans. QLAMF ODAAT
Sitting here at lunch and the anxiety has turned into full blown fear. Trying my hardest not to have a full blown panic attack. It feels like it will never end. Wish I never took that first dip so many years ago. Stupid kid!!!
Not what I was hoping to see when I popped back in here but wanted to offered a tool my therapist offered to me at one point when it came to controlling anxiety. Find an object that you can engage as many of the senses as possible. What does it feel like? Smell like? Look like? etc. Another tool is to identify five things in your surroundings that you can hear, see, feel, smell, etc. I started to have anxiety in the grocery store one time and grabbed a peach and went through the exercise. Focusing on the tangible can help ease the racing mental thoughts that often times have no grounds in reality.
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Day 184
No change. Searing anxiety and fear. I promise not to dip today.
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Day 184
No change. Searing anxiety and fear. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,788 - to quote the master Samwise Gamgee, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." While we obviously can't quit for you or take away the struggles with anxiety and fear, know we are here to support you in whatever ways we can. One day at a time Steve.
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Day 184
No change. Searing anxiety and fear. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,788 - to quote the master Samwise Gamgee, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." While we obviously can't quit for you or take away the struggles with anxiety and fear, know we are here to support you in whatever ways we can. One day at a time Steve.
worktowin 4,006. One day at a time, better days are ahead.
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Day 184
No change. Searing anxiety and fear. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,788 - to quote the master Samwise Gamgee, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." While we obviously can't quit for you or take away the struggles with anxiety and fear, know we are here to support you in whatever ways we can. One day at a time Steve.
worktowin 4,006. One day at a time, better days are ahead.
Keith0617 1985 ODAAT with all of you
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Day 185
Same. I promise myself not to dip today.
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Day 185
Same. I promise myself not to dip today.
MN/2,789 - my word is my bond. QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 185
Same. I promise myself not to dip today.
MN/2,789 - my word is my bond. QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 4,007. I'm very quit with you guys.
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Day 185
Same. I promise myself not to dip today.
MN/2,789 - my word is my bond. QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 4,007. I'm very quit with you guys.
Keith0617 1896 ODAAT
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Day 186
Fear, anxiety, anhidonia. No change.
No dip today.
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Day 186
Fear, anxiety, anhidonia. No change.
No dip today.
MN/2,790 fighting in the trenches with Steve TODAY.
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Day 186
Fear, anxiety, anhidonia. No change.
No dip today.
MN/2,790 fighting in the trenches with Steve TODAY.
worktowin 4,008. Shane (aka Applejack) is headed to Italy and France to spend some time with his daughter over the holiday. Can you imagine the anxiety that he would have been feeling trying to hide this addiction on an around the world flight, not to mention in his luggage while carefully rationing usage so as not to run out? You wanna talk fear and anxiety... I once ran out in Kauai and damn near freaked out.
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Day 186
Fear, anxiety, anhidonia. No change.
No dip today.
MN/2,790 fighting in the trenches with Steve TODAY.
worktowin 4,008. Shane (aka Applejack) is headed to Italy and France to spend some time with his daughter over the holiday. Can you imagine the anxiety that he would have been feeling trying to hide this addiction on an around the world flight, not to mention in his luggage while carefully rationing usage so as not to run out? You wanna talk fear and anxiety... I once ran out in Kauai and damn near freaked out.
Keith0617 1897 ODAAT
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Day 187
Flat, emotionless, just don’t care about anything, no joy.
Nicotine must be a very powerful mood stabilizer because when I felt bored and or empty I’d just toss back a big bite and suddenly life was exciting. Sad isn’t it?
I promise not to dip today.
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Day 187
Flat, emotionless, just don’t care about anything, no joy.
Nicotine must be a very powerful mood stabilizer because when I felt bored and or empty I’d just toss back a big bite and suddenly life was exciting. Sad isn’t it?
I promise not to dip today.
And here comes the anxiety. Thought maybe I’d have a day without it but how wrong I was. This is getting ridiculous and frustrating. Withdrawal from meth doesn’t last this long.
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Day 187
Flat, emotionless, just don’t care about anything, no joy.
Nicotine must be a very powerful mood stabilizer because when I felt bored and or empty I’d just toss back a big bite and suddenly life was exciting. Sad isn’t it?
I promise not to dip today.
And here comes the anxiety. Thought maybe I’d have a day without it but how wrong I was. This is getting ridiculous and frustrating. Withdrawal from meth doesn’t last this long.
Nicotine was an escape from reality. If you think about it, it took you away from a lot of joy and emotions too. How many times did you sneak away from your wife, your family, to get a "fix" that really didn't do anything except take you away from your family and help you not go into the withdrawal that you are now feeling?
Nicotine is one big lie, bro. There isn't anything good that it did for you, except for that first time big buzz. After that is was just there to help you escape from life but really to help not go into withdrawal. You spent how many tens of thousands of dollars chasing a buzz that never came and took time away from your real life to dip alone? F THAT!
Worktowin 4,009. And I ain't sayin' nothing good about nicotine today! NO SIR NO MA'AM NO THEY!
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Day 187
Flat, emotionless, just don’t care about anything, no joy.
Nicotine must be a very powerful mood stabilizer because when I felt bored and or empty I’d just toss back a big bite and suddenly life was exciting. Sad isn’t it?
I promise not to dip today.
And here comes the anxiety. Thought maybe I’d have a day without it but how wrong I was. This is getting ridiculous and frustrating. Withdrawal from meth doesn’t last this long.
Nicotine was an escape from reality. If you think about it, it took you away from a lot of joy and emotions too. How many times did you sneak away from your wife, your family, to get a "fix" that really didn't do anything except take you away from your family and help you not go into the withdrawal that you are now feeling?
Nicotine is one big lie, bro. There isn't anything good that it did for you, except for that first time big buzz. After that is was just there to help you escape from life but really to help not go into withdrawal. You spent how many tens of thousands of dollars chasing a buzz that never came and took time away from your real life to dip alone? F THAT!
Worktowin 4,009. And I ain't sayin' nothing good about nicotine today! NO SIR NO MA'AM NO THEY!
MN/2,791 - you all have my word TODAY. Nicotine can 'fuz' off!
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Day 187
Flat, emotionless, just don’t care about anything, no joy.
Nicotine must be a very powerful mood stabilizer because when I felt bored and or empty I’d just toss back a big bite and suddenly life was exciting. Sad isn’t it?
I promise not to dip today.
And here comes the anxiety. Thought maybe I’d have a day without it but how wrong I was. This is getting ridiculous and frustrating. Withdrawal from meth doesn’t last this long.
Nicotine was an escape from reality. If you think about it, it took you away from a lot of joy and emotions too. How many times did you sneak away from your wife, your family, to get a "fix" that really didn't do anything except take you away from your family and help you not go into the withdrawal that you are now feeling?
Nicotine is one big lie, bro. There isn't anything good that it did for you, except for that first time big buzz. After that is was just there to help you escape from life but really to help not go into withdrawal. You spent how many tens of thousands of dollars chasing a buzz that never came and took time away from your real life to dip alone? F THAT!
Worktowin 4,009. And I ain't sayin' nothing good about nicotine today! NO SIR NO MA'AM NO THEY!
MN/2,791 - you all have my word TODAY. Nicotine can 'fuz' off!
Nicotine is the devil’s candy. It should be illegal. I know that big tobacco adds lots of other chemicals to get and keep you hooked. Maybe it was different years ago when I had my previous stops. No withdrawal at all. This time I’m in total agony. I remember buying a can of Grizzly years ago when the store was out of my favorite Kodiak and when I took a dip I felt hardly anything so I had to do a total horseshoe to catch a buzz. I know grizzly had just as much nicotine as Kodiak. Must of been some other chemicals in the Kodiak that grizz didn’t have. Nicotine and big tobacco can kiss my ass.
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Day 187
Flat, emotionless, just don’t care about anything, no joy.
Nicotine must be a very powerful mood stabilizer because when I felt bored and or empty I’d just toss back a big bite and suddenly life was exciting. Sad isn’t it?
I promise not to dip today.
And here comes the anxiety. Thought maybe I’d have a day without it but how wrong I was. This is getting ridiculous and frustrating. Withdrawal from meth doesn’t last this long.
Nicotine was an escape from reality. If you think about it, it took you away from a lot of joy and emotions too. How many times did you sneak away from your wife, your family, to get a "fix" that really didn't do anything except take you away from your family and help you not go into the withdrawal that you are now feeling?
Nicotine is one big lie, bro. There isn't anything good that it did for you, except for that first time big buzz. After that is was just there to help you escape from life but really to help not go into withdrawal. You spent how many tens of thousands of dollars chasing a buzz that never came and took time away from your real life to dip alone? F THAT!
Worktowin 4,009. And I ain't sayin' nothing good about nicotine today! NO SIR NO MA'AM NO THEY!
MN/2,791 - you all have my word TODAY. Nicotine can 'fuz' off!
Nicotine is the devil’s candy. It should be illegal. I know that big tobacco adds lots of other chemicals to get and keep you hooked. Maybe it was different years ago when I had my previous stops. No withdrawal at all. This time I’m in total agony. I remember buying a can of Grizzly years ago when the store was out of my favorite Kodiak and when I took a dip I felt hardly anything so I had to do a total horseshoe to catch a buzz. I know grizzly had just as much nicotine as Kodiak. Must of been some other chemicals in the Kodiak that grizz didn’t have. Nicotine and big tobacco can kiss my ass.
So Kodiak contains the most nicotine (8.2 mg per gram) than any other dip. Grizzly Long Cut is third on the list at 5.9. If you used Kodiak for the majority of your time dipping, that's a hell of a lot of nicotine you were feeding your brain/body.
Continue to persevere in patience, Steve. You are winning.
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Day 187
Flat, emotionless, just don’t care about anything, no joy.
Nicotine must be a very powerful mood stabilizer because when I felt bored and or empty I’d just toss back a big bite and suddenly life was exciting. Sad isn’t it?
I promise not to dip today.
And here comes the anxiety. Thought maybe I’d have a day without it but how wrong I was. This is getting ridiculous and frustrating. Withdrawal from meth doesn’t last this long.
Nicotine was an escape from reality. If you think about it, it took you away from a lot of joy and emotions too. How many times did you sneak away from your wife, your family, to get a "fix" that really didn't do anything except take you away from your family and help you not go into the withdrawal that you are now feeling?
Nicotine is one big lie, bro. There isn't anything good that it did for you, except for that first time big buzz. After that is was just there to help you escape from life but really to help not go into withdrawal. You spent how many tens of thousands of dollars chasing a buzz that never came and took time away from your real life to dip alone? F THAT!
Worktowin 4,009. And I ain't sayin' nothing good about nicotine today! NO SIR NO MA'AM NO THEY!
MN/2,791 - you all have my word TODAY. Nicotine can 'fuz' off!
Nicotine is the devil’s candy. It should be illegal. I know that big tobacco adds lots of other chemicals to get and keep you hooked. Maybe it was different years ago when I had my previous stops. No withdrawal at all. This time I’m in total agony. I remember buying a can of Grizzly years ago when the store was out of my favorite Kodiak and when I took a dip I felt hardly anything so I had to do a total horseshoe to catch a buzz. I know grizzly had just as much nicotine as Kodiak. Must of been some other chemicals in the Kodiak that grizz didn’t have. Nicotine and big tobacco can kiss my ass.
So Kodiak contains the most nicotine (8.2 mg per gram) than any other dip. Grizzly Long Cut is third on the list at 5.9. If you used Kodiak for the majority of your time dipping, that's a hell of a lot of nicotine you were feeding your brain/body.
Continue to persevere in patience, Steve. You are winning.
Today is bad but not as bad as yesterday. I failed to mention that last week during the evening I had about 2 hours where I felt completely fine and at peace. I was thinking about my hunting shack and snowmobiling this winter and just felt peaceful. I haven’t felt like that since I killed the Kodiak bear. I’m hoping that I’m coming out of this latest wave soon and maybe I can enjoy Christmas.
Yes Kodiak was my poison of choice. Bad chit.
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Day 187
Flat, emotionless, just don’t care about anything, no joy.
Nicotine must be a very powerful mood stabilizer because when I felt bored and or empty I’d just toss back a big bite and suddenly life was exciting. Sad isn’t it?
I promise not to dip today.
And here comes the anxiety. Thought maybe I’d have a day without it but how wrong I was. This is getting ridiculous and frustrating. Withdrawal from meth doesn’t last this long.
Nicotine was an escape from reality. If you think about it, it took you away from a lot of joy and emotions too. How many times did you sneak away from your wife, your family, to get a "fix" that really didn't do anything except take you away from your family and help you not go into the withdrawal that you are now feeling?
Nicotine is one big lie, bro. There isn't anything good that it did for you, except for that first time big buzz. After that is was just there to help you escape from life but really to help not go into withdrawal. You spent how many tens of thousands of dollars chasing a buzz that never came and took time away from your real life to dip alone? F THAT!
Worktowin 4,009. And I ain't sayin' nothing good about nicotine today! NO SIR NO MA'AM NO THEY!
MN/2,791 - you all have my word TODAY. Nicotine can 'fuz' off!
Nicotine is the devil’s candy. It should be illegal. I know that big tobacco adds lots of other chemicals to get and keep you hooked. Maybe it was different years ago when I had my previous stops. No withdrawal at all. This time I’m in total agony. I remember buying a can of Grizzly years ago when the store was out of my favorite Kodiak and when I took a dip I felt hardly anything so I had to do a total horseshoe to catch a buzz. I know grizzly had just as much nicotine as Kodiak. Must of been some other chemicals in the Kodiak that grizz didn’t have. Nicotine and big tobacco can kiss my ass.
So Kodiak contains the most nicotine (8.2 mg per gram) than any other dip. Grizzly Long Cut is third on the list at 5.9. If you used Kodiak for the majority of your time dipping, that's a hell of a lot of nicotine you were feeding your brain/body.
Continue to persevere in patience, Steve. You are winning.
Today is bad but not as bad as yesterday. I failed to mention that last week during the evening I had about 2 hours where I felt completely fine and at peace. I was thinking about my hunting shack and snowmobiling this winter and just felt peaceful. I haven’t felt like that since I killed the Kodiak bear. I’m hoping that I’m coming out of this latest wave soon and maybe I can enjoy Christmas.
Yes Kodiak was my poison of choice. Bad chit.
Kodiak was what I used exclusively. When I ran out in Kauai that time I had to buy Skoal. I'm pretty sure I shoved the whole tin in my mouth and it barely helped take the pain away. Kodiak is a wicked bitch. You'll find a lot of us that have similar stories on here were Kodiak addicts. My first post was something like.... that bear and I had a lot of good times together. In retrospect that bear cost me a lot of good times, and quite literally the same amount of money that a new Lexus would cost. Glad to hear you had some peace - keep the faith bro.
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Keith0617 1899 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and all of you
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Keith0617 1899 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and all of you
MN/2,792 quit on this fine Saturday with Steve and y'all.
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Keith0617 1899 ODAAT with @Dipchit (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=30404) and all of you
MN/2,792 quit on this fine Saturday with Steve and y'all.
Day 188
Depression. No interest in anything.
I promise not to dip today.
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Keith0617 1900 ODAAT with Dipchit and all of you!
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Keith0617 1900 ODAAT with Dipchit and all of you!
Day 189
No change. I promise not to dip today.
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Keith0617 1900 ODAAT with Dipchit and all of you!
Day 189
No change. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,793 - none for me today; with you all.
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Keith0617 1900 ODAAT with Dipchit and all of you!
Day 189
No change. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,793 - none for me today; with you all.
Worktowin 4,811. Wife car is broken. Still not dippin!
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Day 190
Wish I felt as good as I did my last stop at 190 days. Anxiety and depression are the theme of the day again. It just feels like this is permanent. Promise not to dip today.
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Keith0617 1900 ODAAT with Dipchit and all of you!
Day 189
No change. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,793 - none for me today; with you all.
Worktowin 4,811. Wife car is broken. Still not dippin!
Worktowin 4,012. It’s not permanent. That’s why it’s so important that you journal this stuff. Look back bro. You’ve had some great days. Right now you are not. But there are great days ahead. Your last stoppage was a stop. This is different. This is a quit. And we are all in this together.
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Day 190
Wish I felt as good as I did my last stop at 190 days. Anxiety and depression are the theme of the day again. It just feels like this is permanent. Promise not to dip today.
MN/2,794 - with Steve and everyone TODAY
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Day 190
Wish I felt as good as I did my last stop at 190 days. Anxiety and depression are the theme of the day again. It just feels like this is permanent. Promise not to dip today.
MN/2,794 - with Steve and everyone TODAY
Keith0617 1901 ODAAT with all of you
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Day 190
Wish I felt as good as I did my last stop at 190 days. Anxiety and depression are the theme of the day again. It just feels like this is permanent. Promise not to dip today.
MN/2,794 - with Steve and everyone TODAY
Keith0617 1901 ODAAT with all of you
The part that fucks with my mind the most is that you get a few to several days in a row that all the anxiety and depression is gone and then you wake up one day and it’s all returned. WTF is with that? Nothing like being teased with life to have it ripped away and then thrown back into hell again. That’s so not fair. FUCK YOU NICOTINE
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Day 191
Anxiety is still here. Fist thing as I opened my eyes was the feeling of dread. Here we go again.
I promise to not dip today.
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Day 191
Anxiety is still here. Fist thing as I opened my eyes was the feeling of dread. Here we go again.
I promise to not dip today.
MN/2,795 - while probably not much consolation, your presence and struggles are helping renew and strengthen my resolve 7.5+ years into my quit. So your struggles are not in vain; they help provide motivation for others who need revitalization in their quit journey. Someday, the tables will be turned and you will be drawing strength from someone else's early quit journey.
Keep fighting Steve; 24 hours a time.
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Day 191
Anxiety is still here. Fist thing as I opened my eyes was the feeling of dread. Here we go again.
I promise to not dip today.
MN/2,795 - while probably not much consolation, your presence and struggles are helping renew and strengthen my resolve 7.5+ years into my quit. So your struggles are not in vain; they help provide motivation for others who need revitalization in their quit journey. Someday, the tables will be turned and you will be drawing strength from someone else's early quit journey.
Keep fighting Steve; 24 hours a time.
Yep I never want to go through this agony again. This is brutal. Non stop anxiety and depression. Cig smokers got it easy when they quit. Few weeks and it’s done.
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Day 191
Anxiety is still here. Fist thing as I opened my eyes was the feeling of dread. Here we go again.
I promise to not dip today.
MN/2,795 - while probably not much consolation, your presence and struggles are helping renew and strengthen my resolve 7.5+ years into my quit. So your struggles are not in vain; they help provide motivation for others who need revitalization in their quit journey. Someday, the tables will be turned and you will be drawing strength from someone else's early quit journey.
Keep fighting Steve; 24 hours a time.
Yep I never want to go through this agony again. This is brutal. Non stop anxiety and depression. Cig smokers got it easy when they quit. Few weeks and it’s done.
Keith0617 1902 ODAAT
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Day 191
Anxiety is still here. Fist thing as I opened my eyes was the feeling of dread. Here we go again.
I promise to not dip today.
MN/2,795 - while probably not much consolation, your presence and struggles are helping renew and strengthen my resolve 7.5+ years into my quit. So your struggles are not in vain; they help provide motivation for others who need revitalization in their quit journey. Someday, the tables will be turned and you will be drawing strength from someone else's early quit journey.
Keep fighting Steve; 24 hours a time.
Yep I never want to go through this agony again. This is brutal. Non stop anxiety and depression. Cig smokers got it easy when they quit. Few weeks and it’s done.
Keith0617 1902 ODAAT
worktowin 4,013 QUITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
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Day 192
Anxiety/Depression still fucking with me. Doesn’t even feel like Christmas this year. Just gotta fake it til I make it I guess. Nicotine is just pure evil. Get away and stay away from it.
Today i promise not to dip.
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Day 192
Anxiety/Depression still fucking with me. Doesn’t even feel like Christmas this year. Just gotta fake it til I make it I guess. Nicotine is just pure evil. Get away and stay away from it.
Today i promise not to dip.
MN/2,796 days of freedom today; with Steve as he continues to battle. QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 192
Anxiety/Depression still fucking with me. Doesn’t even feel like Christmas this year. Just gotta fake it til I make it I guess. Nicotine is just pure evil. Get away and stay away from it.
Today i promise not to dip.
MN/2,796 days of freedom today; with Steve as he continues to battle. QLAMF ODAAT
Keith0617 1903 ODAAT
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Day 192
Anxiety/Depression still fucking with me. Doesn’t even feel like Christmas this year. Just gotta fake it til I make it I guess. Nicotine is just pure evil. Get away and stay away from it.
Today i promise not to dip.
MN/2,796 days of freedom today; with Steve as he continues to battle. QLAMF ODAAT
Keith0617 1903 ODAAT
worktowin 4,014. Will be your first Christmas in a while where you aren't lying to your family to sneak away and get your fix from an addiction that was stealing your health, wealth, and family relationships. While you are in your funk, don't forget this fact. No pain, no gain. The stoppage that you had last time had no pain, and so you caved and let your addiction take over your life. This time there is pain. I don't mean this to be a dick at all, but dude I'm glad this one is hard. Because you need to remember what nicotine did to you. You are doing this the right way, with a team, and keeping track of the truth. Nicotine can fuck off.
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worktowin 4,015. Last dat of work for a while! Honored to quit with you today!
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worktowin 4,015. Last dat of work for a while! Honored to quit with you today!
MN/2,797 with Steve and all you TODAY.
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worktowin 4,015. Last dat of work for a while! Honored to quit with you today!
MN/2,797 with Steve and all you TODAY.
Day 193
Depression. I promise to not dip today.
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worktowin 4,015. Last dat of work for a while! Honored to quit with you today!
MN/2,797 with Steve and all you TODAY.
Day 193
Depression. I promise to not dip today.
Keith0617 1904 ODAAT
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worktowin 4,015. Last dat of work for a while! Honored to quit with you today!
MN/2,797 with Steve and all you TODAY.
Day 193
Depression. I promise to not dip today.
Keith0617 1904 ODAAT
Stranger999 3,030 Merry Christmas! The further away I get from my day 1 the more I like holidays. 8) I think the goalposts are different for every quitter, but at some point the brain heals and moves on.
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Keith0617 1905 ODAAT with all of you. Thankful to be quit again for the holidays.
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Keith0617 1905 ODAAT with all of you. Thankful to be quit again for the holidays.
Day 194
Depression has lifted some as well as the anxiety. Maybe a Christmas miracle? I hope so. Thanks to all of you for being here with me. I promise not to dip today.
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Keith0617 1905 ODAAT with all of you. Thankful to be quit again for the holidays.
Day 194
Depression has lifted some as well as the anxiety. Maybe a Christmas miracle? I hope so. Thanks to all of you for being here with me. I promise not to dip today.
Worktowin 4,016. Christmas starts today. Opened gifts this morning with Amy. Headed to brothers family this afternoon. Honored to quit with you.
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Keith0617 1905 ODAAT with all of you. Thankful to be quit again for the holidays.
Day 194
Depression has lifted some as well as the anxiety. Maybe a Christmas miracle? I hope so. Thanks to all of you for being here with me. I promise not to dip today.
Worktowin 4,016. Christmas starts today. Opened gifts this morning with Amy. Headed to brothers family this afternoon. Honored to quit with you.
MN/2,798 - with Steve and you all TODAY.
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Keith0617 1906 ODAAT with all of you
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Keith0617 1906 ODAAT with all of you
Worktowin 4,017. Heading to in-laws (ACK) for a few days. QLF with my bros today.
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Keith0617 1906 ODAAT with all of you
Worktowin 4,017. Heading to in-laws (ACK) for a few days. QLF with my bros today.
MN/2,799 - final prep before 3 days of Christmas gatherings. ODAAT
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Keith0617 1906 ODAAT with all of you
Worktowin 4,017. Heading to in-laws (ACK) for a few days. QLF with my bros today.
MN/2,799 - final prep before 3 days of Christmas gatherings. ODAAT
Day 195
Feel ok so far today. Little background depression. I promise not to dip today.
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Keith0617 1906 ODAAT with all of you
Worktowin 4,017. Heading to in-laws (ACK) for a few days. QLF with my bros today.
MN/2,799 - final prep before 3 days of Christmas gatherings. ODAAT
Day 195
Feel ok so far today. Little background depression. I promise not to dip today.
Bro, again, note that you are having good days… you aren’t constantly 100% fighting. You are starting to heal. Remember this next time a funk appears. It’s not a straight line up. But the new trend line is up.
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December 24, 2012. Eleven years ago today, I quit.
I went thru a pretty similar situation as Steve. Was almost suicidal at one point to be completely honest. You guys pulled me along. Provided tough love when I needed it. Helped me do what I couldn’t do alone. We are all in this together. And winning is possible. Thanks for including me in your journey. Merry Christmas Eve.
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December 24, 2012. Eleven years ago today, I quit.
I went thru a pretty similar situation as Steve. Was almost suicidal at one point to be completely honest. You guys pulled me along. Provided tough love when I needed it. Helped me do what I couldn’t do alone. We are all in this together. And winning is possible. Thanks for including me in your journey. Merry Christmas Eve.
Congrats on another completed revolution @worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) !! Addiction is ugly as can be the quit process for a while. KTC has been such a blessing for so many; certainly something to be thankful for this holiday season.
Day 2,800 here and I promise to enjoy the next 24 hours nicotine free. Merry Christmas Eve everyone!
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December 24, 2012. Eleven years ago today, I quit.
I went thru a pretty similar situation as Steve. Was almost suicidal at one point to be completely honest. You guys pulled me along. Provided tough love when I needed it. Helped me do what I couldn’t do alone. We are all in this together. And winning is possible. Thanks for including me in your journey. Merry Christmas Eve.
Day 196
Some depression but it’s tolerable. Yes this is a journey of ups and downs. I just hope it ends soon in a good way. The depression can be black and hopeless at times and the anxiety quite fearful. Nicotine should be illegal. Merry Christmas to my quit family and I promise not to dip today.
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December 24, 2012. Eleven years ago today, I quit.
I went thru a pretty similar situation as Steve. Was almost suicidal at one point to be completely honest. You guys pulled me along. Provided tough love when I needed it. Helped me do what I couldn’t do alone. We are all in this together. And winning is possible. Thanks for including me in your journey. Merry Christmas Eve.
Day 196
Some depression but it’s tolerable. Yes this is a journey of ups and downs. I just hope it ends soon in a good way. The depression can be black and hopeless at times and the anxiety quite fearful. Nicotine should be illegal. Merry Christmas to my quit family and I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1907 ODAAT. Huge congrats to you @worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) on 11 freaking years!! BADASS!!
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Worktowin 4,019. Merry Christmas!!
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Worktowin 4,019. Merry Christmas!!
Keith0617 1908 Merry Christmas
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Worktowin 4,019. Merry Christmas!!
Keith0617 1908 Merry Christmas
Day 197
Merry Christmas to you all. I promise myself that I will not dip today.
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Worktowin 4,019. Merry Christmas!!
Keith0617 1908 Merry Christmas
Day 197
Merry Christmas to you all. I promise myself that I will not dip today.
Merry Christmas everyone. No nic for me today. QLAMF ODAAT MN/2,801
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Day 198
Feeling a little depressed today. The weather sucks. Rain and gloomy. Been that way for several days now but I’m still quit. I promise not to dip today.
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Day 198
Feeling a little depressed today. The weather sucks. Rain and gloomy. Been that way for several days now but I’m still quit. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1909 ODAAT
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Day 198
Feeling a little depressed today. The weather sucks. Rain and gloomy. Been that way for several days now but I’m still quit. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1909 ODAAT
Worktowin 4,020. Back from in-laws and headed to Las Vegas. Midwest is gloomy. Snowy. Cold. But I’m QLF with you guys!!!!
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Keith0617 1910 ODAAT with all of you
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Keith0617 1910 ODAAT with all of you
MN/2,803 with everyone TODAY
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Keith0617 1910 ODAAT with all of you
Day 199
The fear has returned so now I’m depressed and full of fear and anxiety. It feels like it’s never going to end. Each time I start to feel a little better I get thrown back into the depths of hell over and over. How much suffering does a person have to endure just to get over withdrawal? I know I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. Everything you research on the net says nicotine withdrawal lasts 2 to 4 weeks. What a line of bullshit!!!! Here I am at virtually 200 days and I still feel like the first week. My head is burning with fear and I’m in a deep black depression. My hands are shaking and tingling and my head is in a fog. Fuck you big tobacco. I promise not to dip today.
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Keith0617 1910 ODAAT with all of you
Day 199
The fear has returned so now I’m depressed and full of fear and anxiety. It feels like it’s never going to end. Each time I start to feel a little better I get thrown back into the depths of hell over and over. How much suffering does a person have to endure just to get over withdrawal? I know I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. Everything you research on the net says nicotine withdrawal lasts 2 to 4 weeks. What a line of bullshit!!!! Here I am at virtually 200 days and I still feel like the first week. My head is burning with fear and I’m in a deep black depression. My hands are shaking and tingling and my head is in a fog. Fuck you big tobacco. I promise not to dip today.
Don't confuse the physical withdrawal (which is typically only a few weeks) from the psychological healing that needs to occur which is vastly different for each person and can take much longer (as you are experiencing).
I resist drugs like the plague, but it may be worth the discussion with your doctor and see if they would be willing to prescribe something short term to curb the depression/anxiety. Just something to take the edge off so you can enjoy being quit and build a mental foundation around that positive fact.
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Day 200
Second floor today but unfortunately not to much to celebrate other than still being quit. The depression is relentless and dark. Oh well. I promise not to dip today.
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Day 200
Second floor today but unfortunately not to much to celebrate other than still being quit. The depression is relentless and dark. Oh well. I promise not to dip today.
Congrats on 2nd floor Steve! Try to find one thing to celebrate this milestone.
MN/2,804 IQWYT
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Day 200
Second floor today but unfortunately not to much to celebrate other than still being quit. The depression is relentless and dark. Oh well. I promise not to dip today.
Congrats on 2nd floor Steve! Try to find one thing to celebrate this milestone.
MN/2,804 IQWYT
Worktowin 4,022. 200 is great! Congratulations sir! Touring the sphere in LV tonight.
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Day 200
Second floor today but unfortunately not to much to celebrate other than still being quit. The depression is relentless and dark. Oh well. I promise not to dip today.
Congrats on 2nd floor Steve! Try to find one thing to celebrate this milestone.
MN/2,804 IQWYT
Worktowin 4,022. 200 is great! Congratulations sir! Touring the sphere in LV tonight.
Keith0617 1911 traveling to the Rose Bowl for the next few days
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Day 201
Feels like I been kicked in the head by an elephant. Woke up to depression and anxiety with a headache. I’m trying to convince myself that this shall pass but at this point it feels like it will never end. Nicotine must be way more damaging to our CNS than I ever imagined because my past stops resulted in zero withdrawal so I figured I’d quit and just go on with life as before. WRONG!!!!! I don’t know what is so different this time. Same brand of dip and actually chewed for only 4 years versus decades in a row before my last symptomless stops. Maybe Kodiak changed the formula since 2005 when I stopped last. I’m so disappointed in myself for blowing a 14 year stop. I went years without even thinking about dip. Zero craving after the first week or so. WTF was so different this time?? Same dip same brain. I promise not to dip today. Nicotine can go fuck it’s self.
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Day 201
Feels like I been kicked in the head by an elephant. Woke up to depression and anxiety with a headache. I’m trying to convince myself that this shall pass but at this point it feels like it will never end. Nicotine must be way more damaging to our CNS than I ever imagined because my past stops resulted in zero withdrawal so I figured I’d quit and just go on with life as before. WRONG!!!!! I don’t know what is so different this time. Same brand of dip and actually chewed for only 4 years versus decades in a row before my last symptomless stops. Maybe Kodiak changed the formula since 2005 when I stopped last. I’m so disappointed in myself for blowing a 14 year stop. I went years without even thinking about dip. Zero craving after the first week or so. WTF was so different this time?? Same dip same brain. I promise not to dip today. Nicotine can go fuck it’s self.
Worktowin 4,023. Relaxing day today. Sphere show was amazing. Look back bro. You’ve had some good days recently.
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Day 201
Feels like I been kicked in the head by an elephant. Woke up to depression and anxiety with a headache. I’m trying to convince myself that this shall pass but at this point it feels like it will never end. Nicotine must be way more damaging to our CNS than I ever imagined because my past stops resulted in zero withdrawal so I figured I’d quit and just go on with life as before. WRONG!!!!! I don’t know what is so different this time. Same brand of dip and actually chewed for only 4 years versus decades in a row before my last symptomless stops. Maybe Kodiak changed the formula since 2005 when I stopped last. I’m so disappointed in myself for blowing a 14 year stop. I went years without even thinking about dip. Zero craving after the first week or so. WTF was so different this time?? Same dip same brain. I promise not to dip today. Nicotine can go fuck it’s self.
Worktowin 4,023. Relaxing day today. Sphere show was amazing. Look back bro. You’ve had some good days recently.
MN/2,805 - each moment without nicotine in your system is winning even when everything else offers the opposite impression. Always here to help you in any way that I can. QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 201
Feels like I been kicked in the head by an elephant. Woke up to depression and anxiety with a headache. I’m trying to convince myself that this shall pass but at this point it feels like it will never end. Nicotine must be way more damaging to our CNS than I ever imagined because my past stops resulted in zero withdrawal so I figured I’d quit and just go on with life as before. WRONG!!!!! I don’t know what is so different this time. Same brand of dip and actually chewed for only 4 years versus decades in a row before my last symptomless stops. Maybe Kodiak changed the formula since 2005 when I stopped last. I’m so disappointed in myself for blowing a 14 year stop. I went years without even thinking about dip. Zero craving after the first week or so. WTF was so different this time?? Same dip same brain. I promise not to dip today. Nicotine can go fuck it’s self.
Worktowin 4,023. Relaxing day today. Sphere show was amazing. Look back bro. You’ve had some good days recently.
MN/2,805 - each moment without nicotine in your system is winning even when everything else offers the opposite impression. Always here to help you in any way that I can. QLAMF ODAAT
Today is an absolute mind fuck. It blows my mind where a guy can have several days with little to no symptoms and in an instant you are back in full blown withdrawal and struggling for your mental life. I’m crawling out of my skin with anxiety and severe brain fog. I can’t sit still and I’m too exhausted to do anything physical. 201 days out with no improvement. I literally feel like I’m back in day 3. I don’t get it!!!! 201 days is a long long time. I’m starting to think that maybe there is actually something else wrong. I’m thinking about going to have some head scans done to see if there is something physically wrong with my brain. Out of 201 days of quit I have felt like shit for most of them. I still refuse to dip today.
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Day 201
Feels like I been kicked in the head by an elephant. Woke up to depression and anxiety with a headache. I’m trying to convince myself that this shall pass but at this point it feels like it will never end. Nicotine must be way more damaging to our CNS than I ever imagined because my past stops resulted in zero withdrawal so I figured I’d quit and just go on with life as before. WRONG!!!!! I don’t know what is so different this time. Same brand of dip and actually chewed for only 4 years versus decades in a row before my last symptomless stops. Maybe Kodiak changed the formula since 2005 when I stopped last. I’m so disappointed in myself for blowing a 14 year stop. I went years without even thinking about dip. Zero craving after the first week or so. WTF was so different this time?? Same dip same brain. I promise not to dip today. Nicotine can go fuck it’s self.
Worktowin 4,023. Relaxing day today. Sphere show was amazing. Look back bro. You’ve had some good days recently.
MN/2,805 - each moment without nicotine in your system is winning even when everything else offers the opposite impression. Always here to help you in any way that I can. QLAMF ODAAT
Today is an absolute mind fuck. It blows my mind where a guy can have several days with little to no symptoms and in an instant you are back in full blown withdrawal and struggling for your mental life. I’m crawling out of my skin with anxiety and severe brain fog. I can’t sit still and I’m too exhausted to do anything physical. 201 days out with no improvement. I literally feel like I’m back in day 3. I don’t get it!!!! 201 days is a long long time. I’m starting to think that maybe there is actually something else wrong. I’m thinking about going to have some head scans done to see if there is something physically wrong with my brain. Out of 201 days of quit I have felt like shit for most of them. I still refuse to dip today.
Bro...
I am feeling for you. Truly.
To repeat once again... I'm NO expert so take this with a grain of salt.
I personally don't think this is withdrawal, at this point. Not in the physical sense that nicotine does to us all. That was left behind a LONG time ago. This is mental. This is psychological. You're stuck in a mental loop of some sort and it's kicking your ass. I've had it happen before too, dude. When something traumatic happens and in that trauma you make other mental associations, you can really get buggered up. Between September of '22 to April of this year, I had 5 family members die.
Five.
Not peripheral people either... direct, close circle immediate family members. My Gran, my aunt, my cousin, my stepdad, my mom.
That. Is. A. Lot.
That was so much grief to deal with that I didn't have time to find balance in between each passing.
It started by watching my Gran die. She was in a memory care facility and had a MASSIVE stroke. End of life level. My grandparents were pivotal people in raising me so watching her waste away and fade to nothing over the course of a week was one of the toughest things I've ever witnessed. I was also executor of my grandparents estate too... lots of that kind of stuff to be dealing with all while watching her fade. My sleep started to shrink badly at that point and between exhaustion and my own tendency towards anxiety, I got stuck in a bad loop. Then came he holidays that I didn't enjoy and then the death of an aunt a few days after Christmas, then the death of a cousin at the beginning of January, then the death of my stepdad at the end of January, then the TOTALLY unexpected death of my mom on Easter morning (went into the hospital for some tests related to her bad health and found out she had lung cancer that was chewing her up). She went into the hospital Saturday morning and died the next morning on Easter. Wtf?!
Dude.
My sleep is still off and I've felt like I've been waiting for the next bad event.
For months now.
During this time, my brain has made some bad, but natural, associations related to all those huge events.
I got stuck in a loop of grief and anxiety and... who knows. Just lots and lots of mental garbage and baggage.
Get some help, bro.
Please.
There ain't NO shame in taking care of yourself and getting a bit of an assist so you can find your balance again. You have to break out of the loop. Anxiety is a thinking problem about a thinking problem.
That was rambling... my apologies. Lol! I spent 13 hrs on flights getting home from Europe yesterday... I'm punchy.
You got this, man.
You do.
AJ... 3,909
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Day 202
Bad anxiety still. Been trying breathing techniques and watching ASMR videos on YouTube. Bad apathy, I have lost interest in everything again. Just wandering through the day aimlessly like a robot. This withdrawal process has become nearly intolerable. I promise not to dip today.
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Day 202
Bad anxiety still. Been trying breathing techniques and watching ASMR videos on YouTube. Bad apathy, I have lost interest in everything again. Just wandering through the day aimlessly like a robot. This withdrawal process has become nearly intolerable. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1913 ODAAT with all of you. Working on a float today at the Rose Bowl.
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Day 202
Bad anxiety still. Been trying breathing techniques and watching ASMR videos on YouTube. Bad apathy, I have lost interest in everything again. Just wandering through the day aimlessly like a robot. This withdrawal process has become nearly intolerable. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1913 ODAAT with all of you. Working on a float today at the Rose Bowl.
MN/2,806 - thankful for the sunshine yesterday. looking forward to some football today.
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Day 202
Bad anxiety still. Been trying breathing techniques and watching ASMR videos on YouTube. Bad apathy, I have lost interest in everything again. Just wandering through the day aimlessly like a robot. This withdrawal process has become nearly intolerable. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1913 ODAAT with all of you. Working on a float today at the Rose Bowl.
MN/2,806 - thankful for the sunshine yesterday. looking forward to some football today.
Worktowin 4,024. Headed home from LV. Spent 4 days with my wife, Traumagnet wife (Steve I encourage you to read his intro if you haven’t) and her new boyfriend. Great trip.
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Happy New Year's Eve!! Can't wait to wrap up another entire year nicotine free. MN/2,807 Thankful and proud to be quit with Steve and everyone at KTC today.
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Happy New Year's Eve!! Can't wait to wrap up another entire year nicotine free. MN/2,807 Thankful and proud to be quit with Steve and everyone at KTC today.
Day 203
Deep depression today. No intrest in anything at all. Complete anhidonia. I promise not to dip today.
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Happy New Year's Eve!! Can't wait to wrap up another entire year nicotine free. MN/2,807 Thankful and proud to be quit with Steve and everyone at KTC today.
Day 203
Deep depression today. No intrest in anything at all. Complete anhidonia. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1914 ODAAT
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Happy New Year's Eve!! Can't wait to wrap up another entire year nicotine free. MN/2,807 Thankful and proud to be quit with Steve and everyone at KTC today.
Day 203
Deep depression today. No intrest in anything at all. Complete anhidonia. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1914 ODAAT
I woke up at 4:00 AM and actually felt ok at best. I got up and drank a glass of water, pissed and went back to sleep. Woke up at 8:00 AM to deep black hopeless depression. What a fucking kick in the balls that was. I thought that my latest wave was possibly going away and that total recovery was starting to come. Once again I’m thrown back into the depths of depression hell. WTF is going on? Come on brain, fucking get it right already. Happy fucking new year to me…… Not!!!!! Maybe 2024 will possibly be better. At this rate I doubt it but who knows.
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Happy New Year's Eve!! Can't wait to wrap up another entire year nicotine free. MN/2,807 Thankful and proud to be quit with Steve and everyone at KTC today.
Day 203
Deep depression today. No intrest in anything at all. Complete anhidonia. I promise not to dip today.
Keith0617 1914 ODAAT
I woke up at 4:00 AM and actually felt ok at best. I got up and drank a glass of water, pissed and went back to sleep. Woke up at 8:00 AM to deep black hopeless depression. What a fucking kick in the balls that was. I thought that my latest wave was possibly going away and that total recovery was starting to come. Once again I’m thrown back into the depths of depression hell. WTF is going on? Come on brain, fucking get it right already. Happy fucking new year to me…… Not!!!!! Maybe 2024 will possibly be better. At this rate I doubt it but who knows.
Happy new year everyone.
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AJ... 3,912 and a Happy New Year to you dudes.
Rock the day, Steve.
We're with ya.
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AJ... 3,912 and a Happy New Year to you dudes.
Rock the day, Steve.
We're with ya.
Day 204
I feel defeated and depressed but I will not dip today.
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AJ... 3,912 and a Happy New Year to you dudes.
Rock the day, Steve.
We're with ya.
Day 204
I feel defeated and depressed but I will not dip today.
MN/2,808 - mental gymnastics can wreak havoc on the psyche. Again, I strongly encourage you to seek help. Explain to your family that you are experiencing anxiety/depression (which could stem from many things; you don't have to divulge your nicotine addiction) and find a psychologist or other mental help person to assist you in navigating these valleys. It's a new year; use it to continue to improve yourself.
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AJ... 3,912 and a Happy New Year to you dudes.
Rock the day, Steve.
We're with ya.
Day 204
I feel defeated and depressed but I will not dip today.
MN/2,808 - mental gymnastics can wreak havoc on the psyche. Again, I strongly encourage you to seek help. Explain to your family that you are experiencing anxiety/depression (which could stem from many things; you don't have to divulge your nicotine addiction) and find a psychologist or other mental help person to assist you in navigating these valleys. It's a new year; use it to continue to improve yourself.
Thanks for the advice. I’ll consider it.
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MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT
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MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT
Day 205.
ANXIETY!!!!!!! Bad anxiety again. Non stop anxiety. I don’t get it!!!!! I may consider some talk therapy but a big hard no on medication. Last thing I want to do is go through even more withdrawals getting off of some phych med. not gunna happen. I’m so fuckin tired of this nearly non stop suffering thinking and hoping that being a non dipper will be better. Im not going back to dip so don’t worry about that but I actually felt great when I was dipping. Only thing that bothered me was hiding it. It took so much energy and effort and lost quality family time away that I needed to get away from it. Never fathomed that it would have sucked this bad especially after zero withdrawal my last few stops. Had I known how bad it was going to be I think I would’ve just told my wife that I dip and just deal with it. I now have way to much suffering invested to give up and pick up a can so onward I go one day at a time. So there we are. No sugar coating. I said it like I see it. Any newbie’s who read this don’t give up because my suffering is so bad. Maybe yours won’t be as bad. Just take it one day at a time and promise not to dip today and that’s my promise.
Big tobacco you can go fuck yourselves for putting me through so much suffering.
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MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT
Day 205.
ANXIETY!!!!!!! Bad anxiety again. Non stop anxiety. I don’t get it!!!!! I may consider some talk therapy but a big hard no on medication. Last thing I want to do is go through even more withdrawals getting off of some phych med. not gunna happen. I’m so fuckin tired of this nearly non stop suffering thinking and hoping that being a non dipper will be better. Im not going back to dip so don’t worry about that but I actually felt great when I was dipping. Only thing that bothered me was hiding it. It took so much energy and effort and lost quality family time away that I needed to get away from it. Never fathomed that it would have sucked this bad especially after zero withdrawal my last few stops. Had I known how bad it was going to be I think I would’ve just told my wife that I dip and just deal with it. I now have way to much suffering invested to give up and pick up a can so onward I go one day at a time. So there we are. No sugar coating. I said it like I see it. Any newbie’s who read this don’t give up because my suffering is so bad. Maybe yours won’t be as bad. Just take it one day at a time and promise not to dip today and that’s my promise.
Big tobacco you can go fuck yourselves for putting me through so much suffering.
I understand not wanting to go the medication route. I personally wouldn't want to either. But there are methods to deal with anxiety and depression that don't involve medication so consider pursuing those routes. I get the frustration and I'm sure it's demoralizing. But sometimes the right decisions aren't the easiest as you are experiencing here. I know you know that being nicotine free is the right decision. Keep fighting brother.
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MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT
Day 205.
ANXIETY!!!!!!! Bad anxiety again. Non stop anxiety. I don’t get it!!!!! I may consider some talk therapy but a big hard no on medication. Last thing I want to do is go through even more withdrawals getting off of some phych med. not gunna happen. I’m so fuckin tired of this nearly non stop suffering thinking and hoping that being a non dipper will be better. Im not going back to dip so don’t worry about that but I actually felt great when I was dipping. Only thing that bothered me was hiding it. It took so much energy and effort and lost quality family time away that I needed to get away from it. Never fathomed that it would have sucked this bad especially after zero withdrawal my last few stops. Had I known how bad it was going to be I think I would’ve just told my wife that I dip and just deal with it. I now have way to much suffering invested to give up and pick up a can so onward I go one day at a time. So there we are. No sugar coating. I said it like I see it. Any newbie’s who read this don’t give up because my suffering is so bad. Maybe yours won’t be as bad. Just take it one day at a time and promise not to dip today and that’s my promise.
Big tobacco you can go fuck yourselves for putting me through so much suffering.
I understand not wanting to go the medication route. I personally wouldn't want to either. But there are methods to deal with anxiety and depression that don't involve medication so consider pursuing those routes. I get the frustration and I'm sure it's demoralizing. But sometimes the right decisions aren't the easiest as you are experiencing here. I know you know that being nicotine free is the right decision. Keep fighting brother.
Keith0617 1916 ODAAT
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MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT
Day 205.
ANXIETY!!!!!!! Bad anxiety again. Non stop anxiety. I don’t get it!!!!! I may consider some talk therapy but a big hard no on medication. Last thing I want to do is go through even more withdrawals getting off of some phych med. not gunna happen. I’m so fuckin tired of this nearly non stop suffering thinking and hoping that being a non dipper will be better. Im not going back to dip so don’t worry about that but I actually felt great when I was dipping. Only thing that bothered me was hiding it. It took so much energy and effort and lost quality family time away that I needed to get away from it. Never fathomed that it would have sucked this bad especially after zero withdrawal my last few stops. Had I known how bad it was going to be I think I would’ve just told my wife that I dip and just deal with it. I now have way to much suffering invested to give up and pick up a can so onward I go one day at a time. So there we are. No sugar coating. I said it like I see it. Any newbie’s who read this don’t give up because my suffering is so bad. Maybe yours won’t be as bad. Just take it one day at a time and promise not to dip today and that’s my promise.
Big tobacco you can go fuck yourselves for putting me through so much suffering.
I understand not wanting to go the medication route. I personally wouldn't want to either. But there are methods to deal with anxiety and depression that don't involve medication so consider pursuing those routes. I get the frustration and I'm sure it's demoralizing. But sometimes the right decisions aren't the easiest as you are experiencing here. I know you know that being nicotine free is the right decision. Keep fighting brother.
Keith0617 1916 ODAAT
worktowin 4,027. Man I remember this feeling. Never again.
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MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT
Day 205.
ANXIETY!!!!!!! Bad anxiety again. Non stop anxiety. I don’t get it!!!!! I may consider some talk therapy but a big hard no on medication. Last thing I want to do is go through even more withdrawals getting off of some phych med. not gunna happen. I’m so fuckin tired of this nearly non stop suffering thinking and hoping that being a non dipper will be better. Im not going back to dip so don’t worry about that but I actually felt great when I was dipping. Only thing that bothered me was hiding it. It took so much energy and effort and lost quality family time away that I needed to get away from it. Never fathomed that it would have sucked this bad especially after zero withdrawal my last few stops. Had I known how bad it was going to be I think I would’ve just told my wife that I dip and just deal with it. I now have way to much suffering invested to give up and pick up a can so onward I go one day at a time. So there we are. No sugar coating. I said it like I see it. Any newbie’s who read this don’t give up because my suffering is so bad. Maybe yours won’t be as bad. Just take it one day at a time and promise not to dip today and that’s my promise.
Big tobacco you can go fuck yourselves for putting me through so much suffering.
I understand not wanting to go the medication route. I personally wouldn't want to either. But there are methods to deal with anxiety and depression that don't involve medication so consider pursuing those routes. I get the frustration and I'm sure it's demoralizing. But sometimes the right decisions aren't the easiest as you are experiencing here. I know you know that being nicotine free is the right decision. Keep fighting brother.
Keith0617 1916 ODAAT
worktowin 4,027. Man I remember this feeling. Never again.
My entire body feels like I’m being electrocuted. Tingling from head to toe. Fear, dread, depression, anhidonia, agitation etc. WTF? And I’m supposed to go back to work tomorrow. I thought I’d be fine long long ago. Guess I’ll just lay here and suffer because drinking lots of water and exercising just makes it worse. Constantly sore and can’t stop peeing.
If it’s any consolation it will be 10 years as of the 22 of this month that I quit drinking. Thing is that my drinking was really never that much of a problem. I could go days without it but towards the end of it I caught the flu and went about a week without beer. When I started feeling better a had some mild anxiety. Guess it could have been from no beer for a week. I said fuck it and never drank again. The next few days I felt a little off but it passed and I never looked back. No craves and no regrets. I just can’t wait for this bull shit to end. I want my life back.
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MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT
Day 205.
ANXIETY!!!!!!! Bad anxiety again. Non stop anxiety. I don’t get it!!!!! I may consider some talk therapy but a big hard no on medication. Last thing I want to do is go through even more withdrawals getting off of some phych med. not gunna happen. I’m so fuckin tired of this nearly non stop suffering thinking and hoping that being a non dipper will be better. Im not going back to dip so don’t worry about that but I actually felt great when I was dipping. Only thing that bothered me was hiding it. It took so much energy and effort and lost quality family time away that I needed to get away from it. Never fathomed that it would have sucked this bad especially after zero withdrawal my last few stops. Had I known how bad it was going to be I think I would’ve just told my wife that I dip and just deal with it. I now have way to much suffering invested to give up and pick up a can so onward I go one day at a time. So there we are. No sugar coating. I said it like I see it. Any newbie’s who read this don’t give up because my suffering is so bad. Maybe yours won’t be as bad. Just take it one day at a time and promise not to dip today and that’s my promise.
Big tobacco you can go fuck yourselves for putting me through so much suffering.
I understand not wanting to go the medication route. I personally wouldn't want to either. But there are methods to deal with anxiety and depression that don't involve medication so consider pursuing those routes. I get the frustration and I'm sure it's demoralizing. But sometimes the right decisions aren't the easiest as you are experiencing here. I know you know that being nicotine free is the right decision. Keep fighting brother.
Keith0617 1916 ODAAT
worktowin 4,027. Man I remember this feeling. Never again.
My entire body feels like I’m being electrocuted. Tingling from head to toe. Fear, dread, depression, anhidonia, agitation etc. WTF? And I’m supposed to go back to work tomorrow. I thought I’d be fine long long ago. Guess I’ll just lay here and suffer because drinking lots of water and exercising just makes it worse. Constantly sore and can’t stop peeing.
One of the best parts of work is that if you are busy enough, it keeps your mind occupied. I occasionally have people come in and talk about wanting to take time off to deal with this, or to deal with that. I won't get into my personal life a lot, but over the past 8 years I've had more than my share of family issues, health financial relationship etc, to deal with, and I took off about 5 days in total to deal with those. The more time off that I would have the more time off for my mind to fuck with myself. I hope you are SWAMPED when you get back.... that would be the absolute best thing. So swamped that you have to wear depends because you won't have time to go to the bathroom. HAHA. Seriously bro, thinking of you and here for you.
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Day 206
Anxiety and depression. Thought this would have been in the rear view mirror long ago. I will not dip today.
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Day 206
Anxiety and depression. Thought this would have been in the rear view mirror long ago. I will not dip today.
Day 2,810 - never again for any reason (NAFAR)
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Day 206
Anxiety and depression. Thought this would have been in the rear view mirror long ago. I will not dip today.
Day 2,810 - never again for any reason (NAFAR)
4,028
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Day 206
Anxiety and depression. Thought this would have been in the rear view mirror long ago. I will not dip today.
Day 2,810 - never again for any reason (NAFAR)
4,028
Hey bro, how was the first day back at work? I was off a week and I'm now 6 weeks behind.
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Day 206
Anxiety and depression. Thought this would have been in the rear view mirror long ago. I will not dip today.
Day 2,810 - never again for any reason (NAFAR)
4,028
Hey bro, how was the first day back at work? I was off a week and I'm now 6 weeks behind.
It was ok I guess. Kept having waves of fear out of nowhere. Nothing to attach it to, just fear. As the day went on the depression crept back in. It’s close to dinner now and both have gotten better but still no zest for life of course. Just gotta take it one day at a time and try not to be a burden on my family. Fake it til you make it. God I can’t wait for all this agony to be over. Have a good evening.
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Day 207
Flat and depressed with a little fear. I promise not to dip today.
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Day 207
Flat and depressed with a little fear. I promise not to dip today.
worktowin 4,029. Probably more overwhelmed at work than I've been in year. Not sure if that is good or bad...
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Day 207
Flat and depressed with a little fear. I promise not to dip today.
worktowin 4,029. Probably more overwhelmed at work than I've been in year. Not sure if that is good or bad...
MN/2,811 with you all today.
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Day 207
Flat and depressed with a little fear. I promise not to dip today.
worktowin 4,029. Probably more overwhelmed at work than I've been in year. Not sure if that is good or bad...
MN/2,811 with you all today.
Keith0617 1918 ODAAT
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I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase. I got really angry. I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous. I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.
So Steve, are you angry at all? Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream. Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals. You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time. So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part. I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine. You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
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I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase. I got really angry. I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous. I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.
So Steve, are you angry at all? Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream. Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals. You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time. So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part. I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine. You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
Oh im pissed and frustrated, believe me I am. I want my life back so badly and big tobacco couldn’t give a fuck!!!
They just want my money. Yes I miss nicotine a lot. I never hated dipping, just hiding it. I promise not to dip today.
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I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase. I got really angry. I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous. I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.
So Steve, are you angry at all? Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream. Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals. You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time. So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part. I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine. You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
Oh im pissed and frustrated, believe me I am. I want my life back so badly and big tobacco couldn’t give a fuck!!!
They just want my money. Yes I miss nicotine a lot. I never hated dipping, just hiding it. I promise not to dip today.
As @worktowin (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=436) is saying, seems like you are romanticizing dip. Look what it has done to you. You are lucky your face hasn’t rotten off. The you have your teeth. Hell, cancer may still show up one day. Instead of missing it, count your lucky stars you are stacking up clean day after clean day. Tobacco never solved a thing, but it sure will cause a lot of problems. Start looking forward and not backwards.
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I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase. I got really angry. I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous. I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.
So Steve, are you angry at all? Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream. Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals. You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time. So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part. I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine. You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
Oh im pissed and frustrated, believe me I am. I want my life back so badly and big tobacco couldn’t give a fuck!!!
They just want my money. Yes I miss nicotine a lot. I never hated dipping, just hiding it. I promise not to dip today.
Day 208
Anxiety has lessened a little but I ain’t counting my chickens before they hatch. It’s Friday and I have the weekend off to keep my mind calm if at all possible. I still feel depressed but that too has lessened this morning.
Yes Worktowin I’m pissed at the world right now but in reality I’m the one to blame for what’s happening to me. I chose to take that first dip all those years ago and I’m the one who decided to blow a 14 year gap and try “just one” dip in the spring of 2019. Big tobacco sucks for formulating the perfect storm we put in our lips to keep us hooked. Ultimately though it’s my fault and I’m most angry with myself for what I’m going through.
On another note I work with a bunch of guys that dip heavily and they now call me the preacher because I been spreading the word about this site and how dangerous dipping is. Most of them are pretty young and think they are invincible but I got a couple older guys that have been dipping for decades that are thinking about taking the plunge and quitting. Hopefully I can help someone quit.
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I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase. I got really angry. I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous. I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.
So Steve, are you angry at all? Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream. Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals. You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time. So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part. I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine. You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
Oh im pissed and frustrated, believe me I am. I want my life back so badly and big tobacco couldn’t give a fuck!!!
They just want my money. Yes I miss nicotine a lot. I never hated dipping, just hiding it. I promise not to dip today.
Day 208
Anxiety has lessened a little but I ain’t counting my chickens before they hatch. It’s Friday and I have the weekend off to keep my mind calm if at all possible. I still feel depressed but that too has lessened this morning.
Yes Worktowin I’m pissed at the world right now but in reality I’m the one to blame for what’s happening to me. I chose to take that first dip all those years ago and I’m the one who decided to blow a 14 year gap and try “just one” dip in the spring of 2019. Big tobacco sucks for formulating the perfect storm we put in our lips to keep us hooked. Ultimately though it’s my fault and I’m most angry with myself for what I’m going through.
On another note I work with a bunch of guys that dip heavily and they now call me the preacher because I been spreading the word about this site and how dangerous dipping is. Most of them are pretty young and think they are invincible but I got a couple older guys that have been dipping for decades that are thinking about taking the plunge and quitting. Hopefully I can help someone quit.
I've always held that helping others' quits is one of the easiest things to do to strengthen your own quit. Don't let the 'invincible' numbskulls sway you or question your choice. In reality, they are jealous you are free and had the balls to quit and they don't.
MN/2,812 QLAMF ODAAT
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I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase. I got really angry. I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous. I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.
So Steve, are you angry at all? Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream. Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals. You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time. So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part. I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine. You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
Oh im pissed and frustrated, believe me I am. I want my life back so badly and big tobacco couldn’t give a fuck!!!
They just want my money. Yes I miss nicotine a lot. I never hated dipping, just hiding it. I promise not to dip today.
Day 208
Anxiety has lessened a little but I ain’t counting my chickens before they hatch. It’s Friday and I have the weekend off to keep my mind calm if at all possible. I still feel depressed but that too has lessened this morning.
Yes Worktowin I’m pissed at the world right now but in reality I’m the one to blame for what’s happening to me. I chose to take that first dip all those years ago and I’m the one who decided to blow a 14 year gap and try “just one” dip in the spring of 2019. Big tobacco sucks for formulating the perfect storm we put in our lips to keep us hooked. Ultimately though it’s my fault and I’m most angry with myself for what I’m going through.
On another note I work with a bunch of guys that dip heavily and they now call me the preacher because I been spreading the word about this site and how dangerous dipping is. Most of them are pretty young and think they are invincible but I got a couple older guys that have been dipping for decades that are thinking about taking the plunge and quitting. Hopefully I can help someone quit.
I've always held that helping others' quits is one of the easiest things to do to strengthen your own quit. Don't let the 'invincible' numbskulls sway you or question your choice. In reality, they are jealous you are free and had the balls to quit and they don't.
MN/2,812 QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 4,030
I HATE NICOTINE AND I HATE TOBACCO.
I wasted over 25 years of my life chasing that fix that never came! I wasted $40,000+ trying to take away the pain of experiencing withdrawal, with absolutely no benefit! I lied to my friends and my family to sneak away in shame! I dared cancer to take me away from my friends and family because I was too weak to stand up for myself and quit for all of those years! I sat alone in hotels all over the country while on business trips isolated and lonely rather than explore and have fun, all just to try to avoid the pain of withdrawals!
There is nothing glamorous about addiction. Quitting isn't easy. Only the toughest are able to do it. Its all a mind game for a while, because the chemicals want to win. And what does losing look like? It looks like 25 years of my wasted life. NEVER AGAIN, MY FRIENDS. NEVER AGAIN. No pain, no gain. I'm in this with you guys, we fight together, we win together. And every win is a celebration, there is no fear or misery when it comes to winning.
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I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase. I got really angry. I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous. I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.
So Steve, are you angry at all? Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream. Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals. You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time. So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part. I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine. You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
Oh im pissed and frustrated, believe me I am. I want my life back so badly and big tobacco couldn’t give a fuck!!!
They just want my money. Yes I miss nicotine a lot. I never hated dipping, just hiding it. I promise not to dip today.
Day 208
Anxiety has lessened a little but I ain’t counting my chickens before they hatch. It’s Friday and I have the weekend off to keep my mind calm if at all possible. I still feel depressed but that too has lessened this morning.
Yes Worktowin I’m pissed at the world right now but in reality I’m the one to blame for what’s happening to me. I chose to take that first dip all those years ago and I’m the one who decided to blow a 14 year gap and try “just one” dip in the spring of 2019. Big tobacco sucks for formulating the perfect storm we put in our lips to keep us hooked. Ultimately though it’s my fault and I’m most angry with myself for what I’m going through.
On another note I work with a bunch of guys that dip heavily and they now call me the preacher because I been spreading the word about this site and how dangerous dipping is. Most of them are pretty young and think they are invincible but I got a couple older guys that have been dipping for decades that are thinking about taking the plunge and quitting. Hopefully I can help someone quit.
I've always held that helping others' quits is one of the easiest things to do to strengthen your own quit. Don't let the 'invincible' numbskulls sway you or question your choice. In reality, they are jealous you are free and had the balls to quit and they don't.
MN/2,812 QLAMF ODAAT
Yep I’m sure the younger ones here at work don’t realize or care about the dangers that dip is causing. There is one guy that is in his early 30s with 2 young kids that keeps saying that this is my last can but the next day he has another new one. I’m sure he is tired of hearing me give him shit about it and he is also a ninja dipper. He did stop a couple years ago and he was really unhappy and uncomfortable going through WD. I remember another telling him that total relief was just one dip away and sure enough he caved. Hopefully my influence will help him next time he gives it a shot.
BTW the anxiety and depression is creeping back in again. Didn’t think I was getting off that easy. ODAAT!!!
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Day 209
Anxiety has lessened since dinner last night. Not gunna hold my breath because I’m sure it will be back to kick my ass. That’s the way this journey has been going. Start to feel good only to have the nic cunt come back and throw me back into the depths of hell. Over and over again. I’m just going to relax my body and mind and just enjoy the little break that I’m getting before all hell breaks loose again. I’m done getting my hopes up every time I start to feel better.
I promise big tobacco will not kill me or get any of my money today. I will NOT dip today.
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Day 209
Anxiety has lessened since dinner last night. Not gunna hold my breath because I’m sure it will be back to kick my ass. That’s the way this journey has been going. Start to feel good only to have the nic cunt come back and throw me back into the depths of hell. Over and over again. I’m just going to relax my body and mind and just enjoy the little break that I’m getting before all hell breaks loose again. I’m done getting my hopes up every time I start to feel better.
I promise big tobacco will not kill me or get any of my money today. I will NOT dip today.
I'm all for cautious optimism but don't waste the good days wallowing in self pity because of some more bad days that may (or may not) even come. Like others have said recently, being quit is a mindset as much as a battle. If you make yourself miserable even on good days/periods, your brain is going to associate that negativity with something you are trying to do to positively improve your health and wellness.
Fight with a optimistic tenacity on days that suck and really work to enjoy the days that offer relief from the storm.
MN/2,813
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Day 209
Anxiety has lessened since dinner last night. Not gunna hold my breath because I’m sure it will be back to kick my ass. That’s the way this journey has been going. Start to feel good only to have the nic cunt come back and throw me back into the depths of hell. Over and over again. I’m just going to relax my body and mind and just enjoy the little break that I’m getting before all hell breaks loose again. I’m done getting my hopes up every time I start to feel better.
I promise big tobacco will not kill me or get any of my money today. I will NOT dip today.
I'm all for cautious optimism but don't waste the good days wallowing in self pity because of some more bad days that may (or may not) even come. Like others have said recently, being quit is a mindset as much as a battle. If you make yourself miserable even on good days/periods, your brain is going to associate that negativity with something you are trying to do to positively improve your health and wellness.
Fight with a optimistic tenacity on days that suck and really work to enjoy the days that offer relief from the storm.
MN/2,813
Keith0617 1920 ODAAT. Your attitude goes a long way in determining how your day goes.
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Day 209
Anxiety has lessened since dinner last night. Not gunna hold my breath because I’m sure it will be back to kick my ass. That’s the way this journey has been going. Start to feel good only to have the nic cunt come back and throw me back into the depths of hell. Over and over again. I’m just going to relax my body and mind and just enjoy the little break that I’m getting before all hell breaks loose again. I’m done getting my hopes up every time I start to feel better.
I promise big tobacco will not kill me or get any of my money today. I will NOT dip today.
I'm all for cautious optimism but don't waste the good days wallowing in self pity because of some more bad days that may (or may not) even come. Like others have said recently, being quit is a mindset as much as a battle. If you make yourself miserable even on good days/periods, your brain is going to associate that negativity with something you are trying to do to positively improve your health and wellness.
Fight with a optimistic tenacity on days that suck and really work to enjoy the days that offer relief from the storm.
MN/2,813
Keith0617 1920 ODAAT. Your attitude goes a long way in determining how your day goes.
Worktowin 4,131. De-Christmasing. So much work!!
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Day 209
Anxiety has lessened since dinner last night. Not gunna hold my breath because I’m sure it will be back to kick my ass. That’s the way this journey has been going. Start to feel good only to have the nic cunt come back and throw me back into the depths of hell. Over and over again. I’m just going to relax my body and mind and just enjoy the little break that I’m getting before all hell breaks loose again. I’m done getting my hopes up every time I start to feel better.
I promise big tobacco will not kill me or get any of my money today. I will NOT dip today.
I'm all for cautious optimism but don't waste the good days wallowing in self pity because of some more bad days that may (or may not) even come. Like others have said recently, being quit is a mindset as much as a battle. If you make yourself miserable even on good days/periods, your brain is going to associate that negativity with something you are trying to do to positively improve your health and wellness.
Fight with a optimistic tenacity on days that suck and really work to enjoy the days that offer relief from the storm.
MN/2,813
Keith0617 1920 ODAAT. Your attitude goes a long way in determining how your day goes.
Worktowin 4,131. De-Christmasing. So much work!!
Yep I get what you guys are saying. I still have a long ways to go but today was good. Had a little depression set in for a few hours this afternoon but I ignored it and just kept plugging along and when I thought about it later it was gone. Fuckin ay a good day.
ODAAT.
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Day 210
Depression has returned today. Not much interest in anything. I’m sure the wave of anxiety is next. It was nice to have one day of low symptoms. I’ll take what I can get. I promise not to dip today.
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Day 210
Depression has returned today. Not much interest in anything. I’m sure the wave of anxiety is next. It was nice to have one day of low symptoms. I’ll take what I can get. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,814 with you TODAY
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Day 210
Depression has returned today. Not much interest in anything. I’m sure the wave of anxiety is next. It was nice to have one day of low symptoms. I’ll take what I can get. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,814 with you TODAY
Keith0617 1921 ODAAT
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Day 210
Depression has returned today. Not much interest in anything. I’m sure the wave of anxiety is next. It was nice to have one day of low symptoms. I’ll take what I can get. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,814 with you TODAY
Keith0617 1921 ODAAT
Yep I was right. Back in full withdrawal again. Anxiety depression no interest in life at all. Nice while it lasted I guess.
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Day 211
Anxiety frustration anger.
I promise not to dip today.
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Day 211
Anxiety frustration anger.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,815 ready to grind out another Monday quit.
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Day 211
Anxiety frustration anger.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,815 ready to grind out another Monday quit.
Keith0617 1922 Choosing not to put cancer in my lip
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Day 211
Anxiety frustration anger.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,815 ready to grind out another Monday quit.
Keith0617 1922 Choosing not to put cancer in my lip
It’s unbelievable how the suffering can erase any good day(s) you had. I’m back in full blown withdrawal just like the first week. It’s like my good day I had on Saturday never happened. Fucking depression is deep and black with white hot searing anxiety. WTF is going on???? I don’t get it. Good one day and literally fighting for your sanity the next? This makes no sense.
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Day 211
Anxiety frustration anger.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,815 ready to grind out another Monday quit.
Keith0617 1922 Choosing not to put cancer in my lip
It’s unbelievable how the suffering can erase any good day(s) you had. I’m back in full blown withdrawal just like the first week. It’s like my good day I had on Saturday never happened. Fucking depression is deep and black with white hot searing anxiety. WTF is going on???? I don’t get it. Good one day and literally fighting for your sanity the next? This makes no sense.
Go. To. A. Doctor.
Seriously man, it's time to find a medical professional that can help guide you through all this. I've been around this place for almost 8 years and while I was hesitant to say it before, I've never witnessed anyone experience what you describe for this length of time. Quitting can be a real bitch and the mental rewiring can take a long time. But the degree to which you describe has me concerned. I want you to experience all the positive aspects of being quit so I say all this in light of the brotherhood and accountability that makes KTC so unique. I just don't have anything more to offer you other than daily words of encouragement which I will continue to do.
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Day 211
Anxiety frustration anger.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,815 ready to grind out another Monday quit.
Keith0617 1922 Choosing not to put cancer in my lip
It’s unbelievable how the suffering can erase any good day(s) you had. I’m back in full blown withdrawal just like the first week. It’s like my good day I had on Saturday never happened. Fucking depression is deep and black with white hot searing anxiety. WTF is going on???? I don’t get it. Good one day and literally fighting for your sanity the next? This makes no sense.
Go. To. A. Doctor.
Seriously man, it's time to find a medical professional that can help guide you through all this. I've been around this place for almost 8 years and while I was hesitant to say it before, I've never witnessed anyone experience what you describe for this length of time. Quitting can be a real bitch and the mental rewiring can take a long time. But the degree to which you describe has me concerned. I want you to experience all the positive aspects of being quit so I say all this in light of the brotherhood and accountability that makes KTC so unique. I just don't have anything more to offer you other than daily words of encouragement which I will continue to do.
Worktowin 4,033. A counselor might help too.
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Day 212
I have an appointment with a thearapest so I’ll try that. As far as a doctor goes that’s a solid no. All they want to do is shove phych drugs down your throat. I’m not going to trade withdrawl for another. I actually started feeling better last night again at bedtime. Right now I’m just emotionally flat with some depression. I have read several threads on here about some not turning the corner until about 250 to 300 days. This to shall pass and with talk therapy I believe I can get the mental tools I need to get through this. I never felt this way until I stopped dipping and I never felt like this before either so I’m not mentally ill im just healing and nothing but self care and time will make the process any faster. Thanks for the advice.
I will not dip today.
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Day 212
I have an appointment with a thearapest so I’ll try that. As far as a doctor goes that’s a solid no. All they want to do is shove phych drugs down your throat. I’m not going to trade withdrawl for another. I actually started feeling better last night again at bedtime. Right now I’m just emotionally flat with some depression. I have read several threads on here about some not turning the corner until about 250 to 300 days. This to shall pass and with talk therapy I believe I can get the mental tools I need to get through this. I never felt this way until I stopped dipping and I never felt like this before either so I’m not mentally ill im just healing and nothing but self care and time will make the process any faster. Thanks for the advice.
I will not dip today.
MN/2,816 proud to be quit with you today.
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Day 212
I have an appointment with a thearapest so I’ll try that. As far as a doctor goes that’s a solid no. All they want to do is shove phych drugs down your throat. I’m not going to trade withdrawl for another. I actually started feeling better last night again at bedtime. Right now I’m just emotionally flat with some depression. I have read several threads on here about some not turning the corner until about 250 to 300 days. This to shall pass and with talk therapy I believe I can get the mental tools I need to get through this. I never felt this way until I stopped dipping and I never felt like this before either so I’m not mentally ill im just healing and nothing but self care and time will make the process any faster. Thanks for the advice.
I will not dip today.
MN/2,816 proud to be quit with you today.
Keith0617 1923 ODAAT
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Day 212
I have an appointment with a thearapest so I’ll try that. As far as a doctor goes that’s a solid no. All they want to do is shove phych drugs down your throat. I’m not going to trade withdrawl for another. I actually started feeling better last night again at bedtime. Right now I’m just emotionally flat with some depression. I have read several threads on here about some not turning the corner until about 250 to 300 days. This to shall pass and with talk therapy I believe I can get the mental tools I need to get through this. I never felt this way until I stopped dipping and I never felt like this before either so I’m not mentally ill im just healing and nothing but self care and time will make the process any faster. Thanks for the advice.
I will not dip today.
MN/2,816 proud to be quit with you today.
Keith0617 1923 ODAAT
4,034. Glad you are seeking out some help. 300 was a big milestone for me, when life started being good again. Not 100% great, but good.
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Day 212
I have an appointment with a thearapest so I’ll try that. As far as a doctor goes that’s a solid no. All they want to do is shove phych drugs down your throat. I’m not going to trade withdrawl for another. I actually started feeling better last night again at bedtime. Right now I’m just emotionally flat with some depression. I have read several threads on here about some not turning the corner until about 250 to 300 days. This to shall pass and with talk therapy I believe I can get the mental tools I need to get through this. I never felt this way until I stopped dipping and I never felt like this before either so I’m not mentally ill im just healing and nothing but self care and time will make the process any faster. Thanks for the advice.
I will not dip today.
MN/2,816 proud to be quit with you today.
Keith0617 1923 ODAAT
4,034. Glad you are seeking out some help. 300 was a big milestone for me, when life started being good again. Not 100% great, but good.
Hope I can turn a corner soon. Unfortunately there is nothing that can speed up the process. It’s an injury to the brain that causes a chemical imbalance. Neuro healing takes a long time and by adding phych meds all you are doing is prolonging the healing back to homeostasis. I never in my life would have believed that nicotine could cause so much damage. It’s just nicotine right???? Powerful shit. Today I’m going from anxiety to depression and anxiety to depression. I get the occasional brain zap too. They suck. My corner will happen sooner or later, just hope it’s sooner.
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Day 213
Some depression but anxiety seems low this morning. I will not dip today.
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Day 213
Some depression but anxiety seems low this morning. I will not dip today.
MN/2,817 with you today.
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Day 213
Some depression but anxiety seems low this morning. I will not dip today.
MN/2,817 with you today.
4,035
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Day 214
Depression.
I will not dip today.
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Day 214
Depression.
I will not dip today.
MN/2,818 my word is my bond.
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Day 214
Depression.
I will not dip today.
MN/2,818 my word is my bond.
4,036
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215
Depression/Anxiety
No dip today.
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215
Depression/Anxiety
No dip today.
4,037
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215
Depression/Anxiety
No dip today.
4,037
MN/2,819 IQWYT
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Worktowin 4,038
Today I’m thankful for a warm house and lots of tasty snax to eat while I watch the chiefs/dolphins game later. There’s so much to be thankful for, including being quit and free from the chains of addiction. Today I celebrated these wins.
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Worktowin 4,038
Today I’m thankful for a warm house and lots of tasty snax to eat while I watch the chiefs/dolphins game later. There’s so much to be thankful for, including being quit and free from the chains of addiction. Today I celebrated these wins.
Day 216
Depression still but it’s getting a little better each day. Hopefully this trend continues. It’s glacially slow but I feel healing is taking place. For that I am thankful. Glad my house is warm too. It’s -5 degrees here and going to be colder tomorrow morning.
Fuck nicotine……. No dip today.
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Day 217
Depression still kicking my ass.
I will not dip today.
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Day 217
Depression still kicking my ass.
I will not dip today.
4,039. Cherry pie in the oven. Chiefs game was a success. Last Christmas stuff put away. Furnace blasting warm air. A great day!!
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Day 217
Depression still kicking my ass.
I will not dip today.
4,039. Cherry pie in the oven. Chiefs game was a success. Last Christmas stuff put away. Furnace blasting warm air. A great day!!
Day 2,821 - ODAAT
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Day 218
Anxiety is back.
I will not dip today.
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Day 218
Anxiety is back.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,040. I'm at work today in the frigid -7 weather here in the Midwest, doing annual reviews. Probably one of my least favorite things to do every year, but I spend a day being very thoughtful about my team and giving them the feedback in writing that I give to them daily. Today I've very thankful that I work for a company that pretty much gives me complete freedom, and that I have a team of high performers that are incredibly loyal to me, and to the company.
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Day 218
Anxiety is back.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,040. I'm at work today in the frigid -7 weather here in the Midwest, doing annual reviews. Probably one of my least favorite things to do every year, but I spend a day being very thoughtful about my team and giving them the feedback in writing that I give to them daily. Today I've very thankful that I work for a company that pretty much gives me complete freedom, and that I have a team of high performers that are incredibly loyal to me, and to the company.
If the somewhat pattern holds true then I have a couple weeks of anxiety to look forward to before it’s slowly fades and then goes back to depression. It’s just a perpetual funk with a day here and there that are somewhat tolerable. What a fucking shit show to have to live through. At least I know I ain’t crazy. Just withdrawals.
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Day 218
Anxiety is back.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,040. I'm at work today in the frigid -7 weather here in the Midwest, doing annual reviews. Probably one of my least favorite things to do every year, but I spend a day being very thoughtful about my team and giving them the feedback in writing that I give to them daily. Today I've very thankful that I work for a company that pretty much gives me complete freedom, and that I have a team of high performers that are incredibly loyal to me, and to the company.
If the somewhat pattern holds true then I have a couple weeks of anxiety to look forward to before it’s slowly fades and then goes back to depression. It’s just a perpetual funk with a day here and there that are somewhat tolerable. What a fucking shit show to have to live through. At least I know I ain’t crazy. Just withdrawals.
MN/2,822 IQWYT
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Day 218
Anxiety is back.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,040. I'm at work today in the frigid -7 weather here in the Midwest, doing annual reviews. Probably one of my least favorite things to do every year, but I spend a day being very thoughtful about my team and giving them the feedback in writing that I give to them daily. Today I've very thankful that I work for a company that pretty much gives me complete freedom, and that I have a team of high performers that are incredibly loyal to me, and to the company.
If the somewhat pattern holds true then I have a couple weeks of anxiety to look forward to before it’s slowly fades and then goes back to depression. It’s just a perpetual funk with a day here and there that are somewhat tolerable. What a fucking shit show to have to live through. At least I know I ain’t crazy. Just withdrawals.
MN/2,822 IQWYT
Steve, anything good going on in your life these days?
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MN/2,823 with Steve today
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MN/2,823 with Steve today
Day 219
I will not dip today.
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MN/2,823 with Steve today
Day 219
I will not dip today.
worktowin 4,041. Today I'm thankful for a safe commute in - saw lots of broken down and crashed cars, and I continue to be thankful for furnaces to keep me warm!
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MN/2,823 with Steve today
Day 219
I will not dip today.
worktowin 4,041. Today I'm thankful for a safe commute in - saw lots of broken down and crashed cars, and I continue to be thankful for furnaces to keep me warm!
Anxiety getting worse as the day goes on. Gunna try some CBD oil and see how that works. Anyone else ever try CBD?
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MN/2,823 with Steve today
Day 219
I will not dip today.
worktowin 4,041. Today I'm thankful for a safe commute in - saw lots of broken down and crashed cars, and I continue to be thankful for furnaces to keep me warm!
Anxiety getting worse as the day goes on. Gunna try some CBD oil and see how that works. Anyone else ever try CBD?
I utilized CBD for a bit when I struggled with anxiety. I thought it helped while I learned other tools to manage my stress and anxiety. Haven't used it for quite some time now. I've recommended it to some folks over the years; I think it's worth a shot for you. If you are doing it on your own, start with a smaller dose and work up in increments until you find what works for you. Green Roads is where I exclusively purchased through.
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Day 220
Feeling emotionally flat. Yesterday was a bad day of anxiety. Hopefully today will be better. I’m so exhausted from all this stress.
I won’t dip today.
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Day 220
Feeling emotionally flat. Yesterday was a bad day of anxiety. Hopefully today will be better. I’m so exhausted from all this stress.
I won’t dip today.
MN/2,824 with you today
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Day 220
Feeling emotionally flat. Yesterday was a bad day of anxiety. Hopefully today will be better. I’m so exhausted from all this stress.
I won’t dip today.
MN/2,824 with you today
Going through some depersonalization today. Feels really weird. It really fucks with the mind. Causes more anxiety. Crazy how badly nicotine fucks your brain up.
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Day 220
Feeling emotionally flat. Yesterday was a bad day of anxiety. Hopefully today will be better. I’m so exhausted from all this stress.
I won’t dip today.
MN/2,824 with you today
Going through some depersonalization today. Feels really weird. It really fucks with the mind. Causes more anxiety. Crazy how badly nicotine fucks your brain up.
4,042. Today I got the humidifier on the furnace fixed. They charged $247 for a part that costs $27 on Amazon, so I guess I'm thankful that I can afford to be ripped off by the furnace thieves today! LOL
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Day 221
Emotionally flat. No feelings at all except some anxiety.
No dip today.
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Day 221
Emotionally flat. No feelings at all except some anxiety.
No dip today.
MN - two thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five
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Day 221
Emotionally flat. No feelings at all except some anxiety.
No dip today.
MN - two thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five
worktowin 4,043. 40 degrees today. I'm excited and happy about that!
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Day 221
Emotionally flat. No feelings at all except some anxiety.
No dip today.
MN - two thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five
worktowin 4,043. 40 degrees today. I'm excited and happy about that!
Wish I had an emotion. I feel nothing but anxiety. Hopefully this passes soon.
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Day 221
Emotionally flat. No feelings at all except some anxiety.
No dip today.
MN - two thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five
worktowin 4,043. 40 degrees today. I'm excited and happy about that!
Wish I had an emotion. I feel nothing but anxiety. Hopefully this passes soon.
One foot in front of the other. Force yourself to do something to put a happy face on. Stop on the way home and buy your wife some flowers. Buy the guy behind you in the drivethru his order then drive away. Try to break the cycle at every opportunity. Life is full of ups and downs. Push yourself to ride the coaster.
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Day 222
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
It just won’t stop. No dip today.
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Day 222
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
It just won’t stop. No dip today.
MN/2,826 Friday QUIT
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Day 222
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
It just won’t stop. No dip today.
MN/2,826 Friday QUIT
My therapist said that I should take a break from KTC. Says that I need to move on from anything that reminds me of dip. What do you guys think?
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Day 222
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
It just won’t stop. No dip today.
MN/2,826 Friday QUIT
My therapist said that I should take a break from KTC. Says that I need to move on from anything that reminds me of dip. What do you guys think?
worktwoin 4,044. If you getting on here and typing your thoughts makes you wanna dip, I guess I'd probably take a break. Has your therapist every dipped and successfully quit? Just curious, because we can relate to what you are experiencing. But I'm no mental health expert. Just a nicotine addict that has a few years of success under my snazzy belt. By the way, it was 40 degrees here yesterday and its like 4 here today. That sucks.
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Day 222
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
It just won’t stop. No dip today.
MN/2,826 Friday QUIT
My therapist said that I should take a break from KTC. Says that I need to move on from anything that reminds me of dip. What do you guys think?
worktwoin 4,044. If you getting on here and typing your thoughts makes you wanna dip, I guess I'd probably take a break. Has your therapist every dipped and successfully quit? Just curious, because we can relate to what you are experiencing. But I'm no mental health expert. Just a nicotine addict that has a few years of success under my snazzy belt. By the way, it was 40 degrees here yesterday and its like 4 here today. That sucks.
Normally I would disagree. I think it's critical to remember where you've been to make sure you know where you are going. A resource like KTC, when utilized the way it was intended, builds relationships which blossoms into accountability and helps folks fight shoulder to shoulder against nicotine, weathering the storms arm in arm.
With your situation and your inability to utilize KTC in it's current active environment, I don't know if your therapist's advice has merit or not. Yes, you post each day here which is foundational but the deeper levels of brotherhood and accountability are missing since this forum has been an echo chamber since the move to Discord.
Typically when people say they are going to leave KTC because it's the only time they think of dip, the masses come out and light their ass up. Boiled down, it's addict speak. You are always going to be around things that trigger thoughts of nicotine or around people who use tobacco. So frankly, removing KTC won't be the earth shattering change that tips the balance IMO.
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MN/2,827 ODAAT
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MN/2,827 ODAAT
Day 223
Feeling a little better so far today. Yesterday was absolute brain chaos. Severe anxiety. Now I’m just flat with a little depression and some background anxiety. No interest in any hobbies or life in general but I’m still quit and that is what counts. I usually feel better in the evening as my cortisol levels drop for the night so that is what I’m looking forward to. Sleep is the great escape from the hell withdrawals put us through.
I’m still weighing the advice my therapist gave me about triggers. He somehow thinks that coming on here can trigger anxiety and that I need to get away from anything that has to do with dip. I personally feel that my anxiety doesn’t have anything to do with triggers. It’s because my brain is injured from nicotine addiction and it will heal in its own time weather triggered or not. Anyway if I decide to take a break I’m let you all know beforehand.
I will not dip today.
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MN/2,827 ODAAT
Day 223
Feeling a little better so far today. Yesterday was absolute brain chaos. Severe anxiety. Now I’m just flat with a little depression and some background anxiety. No interest in any hobbies or life in general but I’m still quit and that is what counts. I usually feel better in the evening as my cortisol levels drop for the night so that is what I’m looking forward to. Sleep is the great escape from the hell withdrawals put us through.
I’m still weighing the advice my therapist gave me about triggers. He somehow thinks that coming on here can trigger anxiety and that I need to get away from anything that has to do with dip. I personally feel that my anxiety doesn’t have anything to do with triggers. It’s because my brain is injured from nicotine addiction and it will heal in its own time weather triggered or not. Anyway if I decide to take a break I’m let you all know beforehand.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,045
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Day 224.
No dip today. Thanks to all for putting up with my whining.
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Day 224.
No dip today. Thanks to all for putting up with my whining.
1935 ODAAT. And you really think your wife has no clue? Wake up my friend.
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Day 224.
No dip today. Thanks to all for putting up with my whining.
1935 ODAAT. And you really think your wife has no clue? Wake up my friend.
Keith you really need to let that go. It’s my business and my business only. No she doesn’t have a clue and that’s the way it’s going to stay.
See you guys tomorrow.
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Day 224.
No dip today. Thanks to all for putting up with my whining.
1935 ODAAT. And you really think your wife has no clue? Wake up my friend.
Keith you really need to let that go. It’s my business and my business only. No she doesn’t have a clue and that’s the way it’s going to stay.
See you guys tomorrow.
Worktowin 4,046. Finished my employee reviews today. Cleaned out under the counters in my bathroom too. Hadn’t done that in years. Wow did I throw out a ton of shit. Watching the chiefs game now. Today I’m thankful that it’s warming up and I’ll be able to wash out my garage soon.
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Worktowin 4,047. Today I’m thankful for the ability to work for me and my team to from home when the roads are icy AF (like they are right now), and of course for the great Chiefs football game last night. Steve I pray that you start finding some peace soon.
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Worktowin 4,047. Today I’m thankful for the ability to work for me and my team to from home when the roads are icy AF (like they are right now), and of course for the great Chiefs football game last night. Steve I pray that you start finding some peace soon.
Day 225
Feel like shit. No dip for me today.
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Worktowin 4,047. Today I’m thankful for the ability to work for me and my team to from home when the roads are icy AF (like they are right now), and of course for the great Chiefs football game last night. Steve I pray that you start finding some peace soon.
Day 225
Feel like shit. No dip for me today.
Thank you Michael.
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Worktowin 4,047. Today I’m thankful for the ability to work for me and my team to from home when the roads are icy AF (like they are right now), and of course for the great Chiefs football game last night. Steve I pray that you start finding some peace soon.
Day 225
Feel like shit. No dip for me today.
Thank you Michael.
MN/2,829 sorry for my absence. Older daughter was home from school sick last Friday. She gave it to me and I've been down for the count all weekend. Younger daughter now has it and is home from school today. So glad I don't have to ration my dip or make excuses to run out and feed my addiction. Never again for any reason.
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Day 226
I will not dip today.
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Day 226
I will not dip today.
Feel lost, empty, no purpose in life. Nicotine is truly evil how it hijacks your brain. Everything is good around me and all I feel is despair. My brain is screaming for a big bite but it’s not going to happen so I’m being punished. Kodiak should be banned. Quitting alcohol was a walk in the park compared to nicotine.
Fuck nicotine!!!!!!!!!
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Day 226
I will not dip today.
Feel lost, empty, no purpose in life. Nicotine is truly evil how it hijacks your brain. Everything is good around me and all I feel is despair. My brain is screaming for a big bite but it’s not going to happen so I’m being punished. Kodiak should be banned. Quitting alcohol was a walk in the park compared to nicotine.
Fuck nicotine!!!!!!!!!
MN/2,830 one day at a time
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Day 226
I will not dip today.
Feel lost, empty, no purpose in life. Nicotine is truly evil how it hijacks your brain. Everything is good around me and all I feel is despair. My brain is screaming for a big bite but it’s not going to happen so I’m being punished. Kodiak should be banned. Quitting alcohol was a walk in the park compared to nicotine.
Fuck nicotine!!!!!!!!!
MN/2,830 one day at a time
worktowin 4,048
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Day 226
I will not dip today.
Feel lost, empty, no purpose in life. Nicotine is truly evil how it hijacks your brain. Everything is good around me and all I feel is despair. My brain is screaming for a big bite but it’s not going to happen so I’m being punished. Kodiak should be banned. Quitting alcohol was a walk in the park compared to nicotine.
Fuck nicotine!!!!!!!!!
MN/2,830 one day at a time
worktowin 4,048
Keith0617 1937
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Day 227
Yesterday was some of the most intense craves I have had since the first week. I even skipped gassing up my truck in fear of buying a can. Fuck that shit has a powerful draw. Now I’m starting my day with depression.
I will not dip today.
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Day 227
Yesterday was some of the most intense craves I have had since the first week. I even skipped gassing up my truck in fear of buying a can. Fuck that shit has a powerful draw. Now I’m starting my day with depression.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,049. Starting day in ER with Amy. Think her meds are all screwed up. Ugh. Today I’m thankful to live in a city with good healthcare options and the means to use them.
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Day 227
Yesterday was some of the most intense craves I have had since the first week. I even skipped gassing up my truck in fear of buying a can. Fuck that shit has a powerful draw. Now I’m starting my day with depression.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,049. Starting day in ER with Amy. Think her meds are all screwed up. Ugh. Today I’m thankful to live in a city with good healthcare options and the means to use them.
I hope all is well and things get straightened out for you two.
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Day 227
Yesterday was some of the most intense craves I have had since the first week. I even skipped gassing up my truck in fear of buying a can. Fuck that shit has a powerful draw. Now I’m starting my day with depression.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,049. Starting day in ER with Amy. Think her meds are all screwed up. Ugh. Today I’m thankful to live in a city with good healthcare options and the means to use them.
I hope all is well and things get straightened out for you two.
MN/2,831 - no nicotine for this guy today.
Michael - praying everything gets sorted out quickly. Holler if you ever need a pickup.
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Day 228
Depression.
I will not dip today.
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Day 228
Depression.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,050. Much better day today. Headed to Seattle.
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Day 228
Depression.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,050. Much better day today. Headed to Seattle.
MN/2,832 - ODAAT
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Day 228
Depression.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,050. Much better day today. Headed to Seattle.
MN/2,832 - ODAAT
Now depression and anxiety. Nicotine is the gift that just keeps giving.
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Day 228
Depression.
I will not dip today.
Worktowin 4,050. Much better day today. Headed to Seattle.
MN/2,832 - ODAAT
Now depression and anxiety. Nicotine is the gift that just keeps giving.
Keith0617 1939
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Day 229
Anxiety prevails.
I will not dip today.
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Day 229
Anxiety prevails.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1940
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Day 229
Anxiety prevails.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1940
MN/2,833 - QLAMF ODAAT
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MN/2,834 - looking forward to watching Barrett Jackson all day on TV. Isn't as good as being there in person but it will have to do this year.
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MN/2,834 - looking forward to watching Barrett Jackson all day on TV. Isn't as good as being there in person but it will have to do this year.
Keith0617 1941 ODAAT
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MN/2,834 - looking forward to watching Barrett Jackson all day on TV. Isn't as good as being there in person but it will have to do this year.
Day 230
Looking forward to all this hell I’m going through to end. Depression and anxiety today. I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1941 ODAAT
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MN/2,834 - looking forward to watching Barrett Jackson all day on TV. Isn't as good as being there in person but it will have to do this year.
Day 230
Looking forward to all this hell I’m going through to end. Depression and anxiety today. I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1941 ODAAT
Worktowin 4,052. Today I’m thankful for the miracle of travel. We are in Seattle for the weekend. I remember my grandparents talking about horse and buggy’s. On Thursday I had lunch in KC and dinner in Seattle. What a miracle. Enjoy the weekend.
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MN/2,835 - Barrett Jackson all day yesterday and now football today! Can it get any better?!
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MN/2,835 - Barrett Jackson all day yesterday and now football today! Can it get any better?!
Worktowin 4,053. About to board flight home. Should arrive about time for the game. Go chiefs! Barrett Jackson would be amazing!!!
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MN/2,835 - Barrett Jackson all day yesterday and now football today! Can it get any better?!
Worktowin 4,053. About to board flight home. Should arrive about time for the game. Go chiefs! Barrett Jackson would be amazing!!!
Day 231
Absolute hell. Seering anxiety and deep depression. 7 and a half months and still no improvement. Never had anxiety before or during dip. This is getting ridiculous and old. Pretty hard to not say fuck it and go pick up a can but I couldn’t live with the personal disappointment.
I will definitely not dip today.
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MN/2,835 - Barrett Jackson all day yesterday and now football today! Can it get any better?!
Worktowin 4,053. About to board flight home. Should arrive about time for the game. Go chiefs! Barrett Jackson would be amazing!!!
Day 231
Absolute hell. Seering anxiety and deep depression. 7 and a half months and still no improvement. Never had anxiety before or during dip. This is getting ridiculous and old. Pretty hard to not say fuck it and go pick up a can but I couldn’t live with the personal disappointment.
I will definitely not dip today.
1942. Go to a doctor
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MN/2,835 - Barrett Jackson all day yesterday and now football today! Can it get any better?!
Worktowin 4,053. About to board flight home. Should arrive about time for the game. Go chiefs! Barrett Jackson would be amazing!!!
Day 231
Absolute hell. Seering anxiety and deep depression. 7 and a half months and still no improvement. Never had anxiety before or during dip. This is getting ridiculous and old. Pretty hard to not say fuck it and go pick up a can but I couldn’t live with the personal disappointment.
I will definitely not dip today.
1942. Go to a doctor
What can a doctor do? Give you meds that you have to go through withdrawal to get off of? Not trading one withdrawal for another but thanks for the advice.
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Day 232
Anxiety and Depression.
I will keep fighting and fighting and fighting until this passes. I will not dip today. BTW the anxiety actually lifted last night for a few hours. It felt good. It’s back now but but not quite as intense so hopefully that’s a good sign. As far as seeing a doctor. That is never going to happen because all they want to do is shove pych meds down your throat. Then you go through even worse withdrawal and longer getting of that crap. I went through 4 years of PAWS from benzodiazepines and it was a living hell. Fuck doctors!!!!!!! All I had to begin with was insomnia.
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Day 232
Anxiety and Depression.
I will keep fighting and fighting and fighting until this passes. I will not dip today. BTW the anxiety actually lifted last night for a few hours. It felt good. It’s back now but but not quite as intense so hopefully that’s a good sign. As far as seeing a doctor. That is never going to happen because all they want to do is shove pych meds down your throat. Then you go through even worse withdrawal and longer getting of that crap. I went through 4 years of PAWS from benzodiazepines and it was a living hell. Fuck doctors!!!!!!! All I had to begin with was insomnia.
MN/2,836
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Day 232
Anxiety and Depression.
I will keep fighting and fighting and fighting until this passes. I will not dip today. BTW the anxiety actually lifted last night for a few hours. It felt good. It’s back now but but not quite as intense so hopefully that’s a good sign. As far as seeing a doctor. That is never going to happen because all they want to do is shove pych meds down your throat. Then you go through even worse withdrawal and longer getting of that crap. I went through 4 years of PAWS from benzodiazepines and it was a living hell. Fuck doctors!!!!!!! All I had to begin with was insomnia.
MN/2,836
worktowin 4.054. Back from Seattle. Had a nice weekend with my nephew. Went to Chihuly museum (wowza) and the Space Needle. Also went to Pike Place Market and watched them throw fish at each other. Strange things that we as humans do. It was super rainy up there, and was glad to get home and see the sun shining - and especially to see the sun shining on the KC Chiefs yesterday!
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Day 233
Same.
No dip today.
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Day 233
Same.
No dip today.
MN/2,837
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Day 233
Same.
No dip today.
MN/2,837
worktowin 4,055. Difficult morning at work having some conversations about policy changes. Change isn't always easy. Today I'm happy that I have one of those personalities that can move on and not dwell on what I cannot control.
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Day 233
Same.
No dip today.
MN/2,837
worktowin 4,055. Difficult morning at work having some conversations about policy changes. Change isn't always easy. Today I'm happy that I have one of those personalities that can move on and not dwell on what I cannot control.
Keith0617 1944
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Day 234
Same. No dip today.
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Day 234
Same. No dip today.
worktowin 4,056. More difficult conversations. For sure earning my paycheck right now.
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Day 234
Same. No dip today.
worktowin 4,056. More difficult conversations. For sure earning my paycheck right now.
MN/2,838
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Day 234
Same. No dip today.
worktowin 4,056. More difficult conversations. For sure earning my paycheck right now.
MN/2,838
Keith0617 1945
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Today is day 1106 for me. I like what all you guys are doing here but once you get to this many days it is easy peasy. Always remember that in the early days. It gets very easy eventually.
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Day 235
Still struggling with anxiety and depression. Day after day after day. I keep hearing that it gets better but I haven’t seen or felt it yet. I can only fight it one day at a time.
I will not dip today.
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Day 235
Still struggling with anxiety and depression. Day after day after day. I keep hearing that it gets better but I haven’t seen or felt it yet. I can only fight it one day at a time.
I will not dip today.
MN/2,839
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Day 235
Still struggling with anxiety and depression. Day after day after day. I keep hearing that it gets better but I haven’t seen or felt it yet. I can only fight it one day at a time.
I will not dip today.
MN/2,839
Worktowin 4,057. Sunny and 64 degrees today. Insane. Loving it!
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Day 235
Still struggling with anxiety and depression. Day after day after day. I keep hearing that it gets better but I haven’t seen or felt it yet. I can only fight it one day at a time.
I will not dip today.
MN/2,839
Worktowin 4,057. Sunny and 64 degrees today. Insane. Loving it!
Cloudy and 40 degrees here and my head is burning with anxiety. Just another day in withdrawal hell for me. Can’t wait till this ends in a good way.
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Day 235
Still struggling with anxiety and depression. Day after day after day. I keep hearing that it gets better but I haven’t seen or felt it yet. I can only fight it one day at a time.
I will not dip today.
MN/2,839
Worktowin 4,057. Sunny and 64 degrees today. Insane. Loving it!
Cloudy and 40 degrees here and my head is burning with anxiety. Just another day in withdrawal hell for me. Can’t wait till this ends in a good way.
Keith0617 1946 Awesome day!!!!!
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Day 236
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
Another day in hell. I will not dip today.
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Day 236
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
Another day in hell. I will not dip today.
worktowin 4,058. This has been the worst week of work that I've ever had in my life, but I choose to remain positive. Tough times never last, tough people do.
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Day 236
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
Another day in hell. I will not dip today.
worktowin 4,058. This has been the worst week of work that I've ever had in my life, but I choose to remain positive. Tough times never last, tough people do.
MN/2,840 QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 236
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
Another day in hell. I will not dip today.
worktowin 4,058. This has been the worst week of work that I've ever had in my life, but I choose to remain positive. Tough times never last, tough people do.
MN/2,840 QLAMF ODAAT
Anxiety just faded way down but now I’m having a monster crave from hell. I wanna buy a can so badly but it’s not going to happen because I promised not to dip today’s how can a can of dead leaves have such a hold on someone is beyond me. I never had craves when I quit drinking thank goodness.
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Day 236
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
Another day in hell. I will not dip today.
worktowin 4,058. This has been the worst week of work that I've ever had in my life, but I choose to remain positive. Tough times never last, tough people do.
MN/2,840 QLAMF ODAAT
Anxiety just faded way down but now I’m having a monster crave from hell. I wanna buy a can so badly but it’s not going to happen because I promised not to dip today’s how can a can of dead leaves have such a hold on someone is beyond me. I never had craves when I quit drinking thank goodness.
Your word is your bond. We are holding you to it.
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Day 236
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
Another day in hell. I will not dip today.
worktowin 4,058. This has been the worst week of work that I've ever had in my life, but I choose to remain positive. Tough times never last, tough people do.
MN/2,840 QLAMF ODAAT
Anxiety just faded way down but now I’m having a monster crave from hell. I wanna buy a can so badly but it’s not going to happen because I promised not to dip today’s how can a can of dead leaves have such a hold on someone is beyond me. I never had craves when I quit drinking thank goodness.
Your word is your bond. We are holding you to it.
I am a man of my word.
I will not dip today.
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Day 236
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
Another day in hell. I will not dip today.
worktowin 4,058. This has been the worst week of work that I've ever had in my life, but I choose to remain positive. Tough times never last, tough people do.
MN/2,840 QLAMF ODAAT
Anxiety just faded way down but now I’m having a monster crave from hell. I wanna buy a can so badly but it’s not going to happen because I promised not to dip today’s how can a can of dead leaves have such a hold on someone is beyond me. I never had craves when I quit drinking thank goodness.
Your word is your bond. We are holding you to it.
I am a man of my word.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1947
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Day 236
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety.
Another day in hell. I will not dip today.
worktowin 4,058. This has been the worst week of work that I've ever had in my life, but I choose to remain positive. Tough times never last, tough people do.
MN/2,840 QLAMF ODAAT
Anxiety just faded way down but now I’m having a monster crave from hell. I wanna buy a can so badly but it’s not going to happen because I promised not to dip today’s how can a can of dead leaves have such a hold on someone is beyond me. I never had craves when I quit drinking thank goodness.
Your word is your bond. We are holding you to it.
I am a man of my word.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1947
I'm challenging everyone on this thread to post something positive tomorrow - it's been a week for me that is pushing my limits, and I could really use some positive thoughts. :)
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Day 237
I actually feel better today than yesterday. The anxiety is real low and I feel like going over to my friends place and helping him work on his truck. Nicotine withdrawal has many different symptoms. You just can’t tell how you are going to feel tomorrow until it comes. Guess that’s why we quit one day at a time. BTW my monster crave from yesterday has passed.
I will not dip today.
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Day 237
I actually feel better today than yesterday. The anxiety is real low and I feel like going over to my friends place and helping him work on his truck. Nicotine withdrawal has many different symptoms. You just can’t tell how you are going to feel tomorrow until it comes. Guess that’s why we quit one day at a time. BTW my monster crave from yesterday has passed.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1948 ODAAT
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Day 237
I actually feel better today than yesterday. The anxiety is real low and I feel like going over to my friends place and helping him work on his truck. Nicotine withdrawal has many different symptoms. You just can’t tell how you are going to feel tomorrow until it comes. Guess that’s why we quit one day at a time. BTW my monster crave from yesterday has passed.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1948 ODAAT
MN/2,841 - kiddo has their first mites hockey jamboree this weekend and she is excited. while not stoked to give up most of my weekend sitting in a hockey arena, she loves playing and the joy it brings to her face is priceless.
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Day 237
I actually feel better today than yesterday. The anxiety is real low and I feel like going over to my friends place and helping him work on his truck. Nicotine withdrawal has many different symptoms. You just can’t tell how you are going to feel tomorrow until it comes. Guess that’s why we quit one day at a time. BTW my monster crave from yesterday has passed.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1948 ODAAT
MN/2,841 - kiddo has their first mites hockey jamboree this weekend and she is excited. while not stoked to give up most of my weekend sitting in a hockey arena, she loves playing and the joy it brings to her face is priceless.
Worktowin 4,059. I’ve spent all day working hanging artwork and pictures in our new office building, which we move into Friday. It’s the nicest office building I’ve ever seen, and I’m so excited to finish out my career in a shiny fancy new place!
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MN/2,842 - daughter scored like 15 goals yesterday during the first game of this 3 game weekend. She was so proud and it warmed my heart. back to the rink in 20 minutes for the next game. Sun is shining, the frost is burning off the rooftops, the coffee is hot - life is good.
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Day 238.
I will not dip today.
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Day 238.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1949 ODAAT
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Day 238.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1949 ODAAT
Worktowin 4,060. Cold and rainy here. Headed to a nice dinner with friends then to see a comedian show later.
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Day 238.
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1949 ODAAT
Worktowin 4,060. Cold and rainy here. Headed to a nice dinner with friends then to see a comedian show later.
Anxiety has returned with a vengeance today. Head pressure and my hands and feet are tingling. Fuck life sucks!!
I keep hearing it gets better. Really? When? This far out in my quit and still suffering. WTF?
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Worktowin 4,061. Beautiful crisp Midwest day. Dog has an ear infection and wow is he a diva to take care of. More high maintenance than even my wife. Haha
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Worktowin 4,061. Beautiful crisp Midwest day. Dog has an ear infection and wow is he a diva to take care of. More high maintenance than even my wife. Haha
MN/2,843 hope the pooch feels better quickly! Routine, monthly session with my therapist today; thankful to have access to such care and the means to afford it.
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Worktowin 4,061. Beautiful crisp Midwest day. Dog has an ear infection and wow is he a diva to take care of. More high maintenance than even my wife. Haha
MN/2,843 hope the pooch feels better quickly! Routine, monthly session with my therapist today; thankful to have access to such care and the means to afford it.
I will not dip today. Day 239.
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Worktowin 4,061. Beautiful crisp Midwest day. Dog has an ear infection and wow is he a diva to take care of. More high maintenance than even my wife. Haha
MN/2,843 hope the pooch feels better quickly! Routine, monthly session with my therapist today; thankful to have access to such care and the means to afford it.
I will not dip today. Day 239.
Keith0617 1950 Great day to be dip free
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Day 240
I will not dip today.
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Day 240
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1951 beautiful day to be a quitter
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Day 240
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1951 beautiful day to be a quitter
MN/2,844 - ^^amen to that.
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Day 240
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1951 beautiful day to be a quitter
MN/2,844 - ^^amen to that.
worktowin 4,062. So ready to get this new office done. Spent all day yesterday hanging pictures
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Worktowin 4,063. Today is my annual all day physical. Thankful all of my prelim blood tests look good with no surprises!
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Worktowin 4,063. Today is my annual all day physical. Thankful all of my prelim blood tests look good with no surprises!
Keith0617 1952 awesome day to be quit
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Worktowin 4,063. Today is my annual all day physical. Thankful all of my prelim blood tests look good with no surprises!
Keith0617 1952 awesome day to be quit
MN/2,845 - QLAMF ODAAT
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Worktowin 4,063. Today is my annual all day physical. Thankful all of my prelim blood tests look good with no surprises!
Keith0617 1952 awesome day to be quit
MN/2,845 - QLAMF ODAAT
Day 241
No dip today. Can’t wait for the withdrawls to end.
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Day 242
Still in withdrawal. No dip today
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Day 242
Still in withdrawal. No dip today
MN/2,846 - QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 242
Still in withdrawal. No dip today
MN/2,846 - QLAMF ODAAT
Just started tapering off a sleep medication that I been on for about 9 months. It crapped out on me so I have to come off. Bad news is that if I stop talking it abruptly I will go into severe withdrawal. Life just keeps getting better and better. That was sarcasm. Now I will be dealing with 2 withdrawals at once and the mainn symptoms from the sleep poison are anxiety and depression. Hip hip hooray. It’s going to take many months to get off the shit. No it’s not a benzo. So wish me luck. I’m going to most likely be miserable for a while. After this I will be clean of all chemicals in my body.
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Day 242
Still in withdrawal. No dip today
MN/2,846 - QLAMF ODAAT
Just started tapering off a sleep medication that I been on for about 9 months. It crapped out on me so I have to come off. Bad news is that if I stop talking it abruptly I will go into severe withdrawal. Life just keeps getting better and better. That was sarcasm. Now I will be dealing with 2 withdrawals at once and the mainn symptoms from the sleep poison are anxiety and depression. Hip hip hooray. It’s going to take many months to get off the shit. No it’s not a benzo. So wish me luck. I’m going to most likely be miserable for a while. After this I will be clean of all chemicals in my body.
Rip all the bandaids off and let your brain heal. You've persevered through the suck for this long; you've proven to yourself you have what it takes to fight these demons.
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Day 242
Still in withdrawal. No dip today
MN/2,846 - QLAMF ODAAT
Just started tapering off a sleep medication that I been on for about 9 months. It crapped out on me so I have to come off. Bad news is that if I stop talking it abruptly I will go into severe withdrawal. Life just keeps getting better and better. That was sarcasm. Now I will be dealing with 2 withdrawals at once and the mainn symptoms from the sleep poison are anxiety and depression. Hip hip hooray. It’s going to take many months to get off the shit. No it’s not a benzo. So wish me luck. I’m going to most likely be miserable for a while. After this I will be clean of all chemicals in my body.
Rip all the bandaids off and let your brain heal. You've persevered through the suck for this long; you've proven to yourself you have what it takes to fight these demons.
Keith0617 1953 Great day of quitting
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Day 243
I wish I could jump off the med cold Turkey but unfortunately if I do there is a good chance I could have seizures etc. it must be tapered slowly. It will take me about a year and a half to get off it safely. Fuck life sucks!
I will not dip today.
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Day 243
I wish I could jump off the med cold Turkey but unfortunately if I do there is a good chance I could have seizures etc. it must be tapered slowly. It will take me about a year and a half to get off it safely. Fuck life sucks!
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1954 Life is great being a quitter
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Day 243
I wish I could jump off the med cold Turkey but unfortunately if I do there is a good chance I could have seizures etc. it must be tapered slowly. It will take me about a year and a half to get off it safely. Fuck life sucks!
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1954 Life is great being a quitter
MN/2,847 - every Friday quit is a great Friday; looking forward to the weekend.
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Day 243
I wish I could jump off the med cold Turkey but unfortunately if I do there is a good chance I could have seizures etc. it must be tapered slowly. It will take me about a year and a half to get off it safely. Fuck life sucks!
I will not dip today.
Keith0617 1954 Life is great being a quitter
MN/2,847 - every Friday quit is a great Friday; looking forward to the weekend.
worktowin 4,065. SO EXCITED to move into my new office today! I feel like a kid in a candy store. Honored to be quit with you today.
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Worktowin 4,066. Getting ready for a big football weekend!
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Worktowin 4,066. Getting ready for a big football weekend!
Keith0617 1955 What an awesome day to be quit!!
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Worktowin 4,066. Getting ready for a big football weekend!
Keith0617 1955 What an awesome day to be quit!!
2,848 - First hockey event of the day in the books (7:40a game); practice for the younger one in an hour. Scarfing down some oatmeal and coffee in between.
Not really excited for the SB tomorrow (can they both lose?!) but making some buffalo chicken dip and some cream cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped jalapenos tomorrow. Can't wait.
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Worktowin 4,066. Getting ready for a big football weekend!
Keith0617 1955 What an awesome day to be quit!!
2,848 - First hockey event of the day in the books (7:40a game); practice for the younger one in an hour. Scarfing down some oatmeal and coffee in between.
Not really excited for the SB tomorrow (can they both lose?!) but making some buffalo chicken dip and some cream cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped jalapenos tomorrow. Can't wait.
Day 244
No dip today
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Worktowin 4,067. I’m SUPER excited for another Chiefs Super Bowl! The city is lit up with excitement. Also having buffalo chicken dip and a bunch of other stuff. Brought home a bottle of the new crown royal blackberry and a few bottles of champagne from work to help celebrate too!! Enjoy the day, gentlemen!!
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Worktowin 4,067. I’m SUPER excited for another Chiefs Super Bowl! The city is lit up with excitement. Also having buffalo chicken dip and a bunch of other stuff. Brought home a bottle of the new crown royal blackberry and a few bottles of champagne from work to help celebrate too!! Enjoy the day, gentlemen!!
Day 245
Deep depression. No dip today.
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Worktowin 4,067. I’m SUPER excited for another Chiefs Super Bowl! The city is lit up with excitement. Also having buffalo chicken dip and a bunch of other stuff. Brought home a bottle of the new crown royal blackberry and a few bottles of champagne from work to help celebrate too!! Enjoy the day, gentlemen!!
Day 245
Deep depression. No dip today.
Keith0617 1956 What a great day to be quit
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Worktowin 4,067. I’m SUPER excited for another Chiefs Super Bowl! The city is lit up with excitement. Also having buffalo chicken dip and a bunch of other stuff. Brought home a bottle of the new crown royal blackberry and a few bottles of champagne from work to help celebrate too!! Enjoy the day, gentlemen!!
Day 245
Deep depression. No dip today.
Keith0617 1956 What a great day to be quit
MN/2,849 - daughter slept like shit last night which means I slept like shit. lol but it's a new day filled with crisp sunshine! No devil's dirt for me today.
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Day 246
No dip today.
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Day 246
No dip today.
Keith0617 1957 What a great day to be a quitter
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Day 246
No dip today.
Keith0617 1957 What a great day to be a quitter
MN/2,850 - despite the Superbowl, not a drop of alcohol yesterday; woke up feeling great. Even cleaned all the bathrooms in the house after the kids got off to school. No nicotine for this guy today.
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Day 246
No dip today.
Keith0617 1957 What a great day to be a quitter
MN/2,850 - despite the Superbowl, not a drop of alcohol yesterday; woke up feeling great. Even cleaned all the bathrooms in the house after the kids got off to school. No nicotine for this guy today.
worktowin 4,068. Well, I'm in the alcohol biz.... so I had more than a few drops of alcohol yesterday! What a great day to live in Kansas City and be a Chiefs fan! And, of course, a great day to not be a slave to nicotine. Honored to quit with you guys today.
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Day 247
No dip today. Gunna take a break from all social media and concentrate on life. We are going old school and living like it’s 1994. The whole family. See ya all when we get back.
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Day 247
No dip today. Gunna take a break from all social media and concentrate on life. We are going old school and living like it’s 1994. The whole family. See ya all when we get back.
MN/2,851 - QLAMF ODAAT
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Day 247
No dip today. Gunna take a break from all social media and concentrate on life. We are going old school and living like it’s 1994. The whole family. See ya all when we get back.
MN/2,851 - QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 4,069. You do you bro. The plan here at KTC is to quit as a team and post daily. Good luck on your hiatus.
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Well I’m back. I can’t remember how many days quit I am but I think it’s around 276 or so. I’ll figure it out tomorrow. It’s been about a month since I last posted and unfortunately I have had zero progress. I’m still battling severe depression and anxiety not to mention monster craves. Only peace I get is when I eventually fall asleep and as soon as I wake up it’s instant panic and dread. I never had any of this while I dipped. I actually felt great when I was dipping. Definitely not going back though. I cannot promise that I will post every day because just logging in gives me anxiety. Probably because it reminds me that I dipped. Thats just the way it’s going to be. I won’t dip today.
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Well I’m back. I can’t remember how many days quit I am but I think it’s around 276 or so. I’ll figure it out tomorrow. It’s been about a month since I last posted and unfortunately I have had zero progress. I’m still battling severe depression and anxiety not to mention monster craves. Only peace I get is when I eventually fall asleep and as soon as I wake up it’s instant panic and dread. I never had any of this while I dipped. I actually felt great when I was dipping. Definitely not going back though. I cannot promise that I will post every day because just logging in gives me anxiety. Probably because it reminds me that I dipped. Thats just the way it’s going to be. I won’t dip today.
Appreciate the update. I'm sorry to hear the battle rages on. But you are closer to better days than you were a month ago so maintain your resolve and don't lose hope. Proud to be quit with you today.
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Day 277
Some anxiety and bad depression.
No dip today.
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Day 278.
Deep black depression. Feeling absolutely defeated and hopeless. I can’t believe how long this shit is lasting. Figured a few weeks and that would be it. Fuckin google is dead wrong about how long nicotine withdrawal lasts. Most sites say 2 to 4 weeks. I won’t dip today.
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Day 278.
Deep black depression. Feeling absolutely defeated and hopeless. I can’t believe how long this shit is lasting. Figured a few weeks and that would be it. Fuckin google is dead wrong about how long nicotine withdrawal lasts. Most sites say 2 to 4 weeks. I won’t dip today.
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Day 278.
Deep black depression. Feeling absolutely defeated and hopeless. I can’t believe how long this shit is lasting. Figured a few weeks and that would be it. Fuckin google is dead wrong about how long nicotine withdrawal lasts. Most sites say 2 to 4 weeks. I won’t dip today.
Every time I log in my anxiety level goes through the roof. Guess I’m done here. I will never dip again. Bye guys and happy not dipping.
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Day 278.
Deep black depression. Feeling absolutely defeated and hopeless. I can’t believe how long this shit is lasting. Figured a few weeks and that would be it. Fuckin google is dead wrong about how long nicotine withdrawal lasts. Most sites say 2 to 4 weeks. I won’t dip today.
Every time I log in my anxiety level goes through the roof. Guess I’m done here. I will never dip again. Bye guys and happy not dipping.
I don't understand why logging into a friendly quitting web site would cause anxiety You have almost had a year of progress battling your addiction. Seems like you don't trust us. If you are really gone for good then good luck!
Stranger999, day 3,114.
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Day 278.
Deep black depression. Feeling absolutely defeated and hopeless. I can’t believe how long this shit is lasting. Figured a few weeks and that would be it. Fuckin google is dead wrong about how long nicotine withdrawal lasts. Most sites say 2 to 4 weeks. I won’t dip today.
Every time I log in my anxiety level goes through the roof. Guess I’m done here. I will never dip again. Bye guys and happy not dipping.
I don't understand why logging into a friendly quitting web site would cause anxiety You have almost had a year of progress battling your addiction. Seems like you don't trust us. If you are really gone for good then good luck!
Stranger999, day 3,114.
Don’t let the door hit you in the ass
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Day 278.
Deep black depression. Feeling absolutely defeated and hopeless. I can’t believe how long this shit is lasting. Figured a few weeks and that would be it. Fuckin google is dead wrong about how long nicotine withdrawal lasts. Most sites say 2 to 4 weeks. I won’t dip today.
Every time I log in my anxiety level goes through the roof. Guess I’m done here. I will never dip again. Bye guys and happy not dipping.
I don't understand why logging into a friendly quitting web site would cause anxiety You have almost had a year of progress battling your addiction. Seems like you don't trust us. If you are really gone for good then good luck!
Stranger999, day 3,114.
Don’t let the door hit you in the ass
Fuck off you little bitch!!
To the rest of the guys like worktowin, Apple Jack, Mnengineer, Stranger etc. thank you all for the support and wisdom. All I ever got from Kieth was useless noise. Now tells me that? Kieth you can go fuck yourself. My screen name would be more suited for you. You all have a great life except you Kieth.
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Day 278.
Deep black depression. Feeling absolutely defeated and hopeless. I can’t believe how long this shit is lasting. Figured a few weeks and that would be it. Fuckin google is dead wrong about how long nicotine withdrawal lasts. Most sites say 2 to 4 weeks. I won’t dip today.
Every time I log in my anxiety level goes through the roof. Guess I’m done here. I will never dip again. Bye guys and happy not dipping.
We've offered everything possible to help you Steve. Your self imposed limitations prevent you from taking full advantage of the entire KTC process which is what makes this place so successful. Our pledge to brotherhood and accountability have kept some of us posting in here with you but unless you open yourself up to doing this our way, there is nothing left for you here. I've only had to say that to a couple people on KTC over my 8 years here and it hurts my soul each time.
I hope you find peace in your life. Godspeed brother.
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Day 278.
Deep black depression. Feeling absolutely defeated and hopeless. I can’t believe how long this shit is lasting. Figured a few weeks and that would be it. Fuckin google is dead wrong about how long nicotine withdrawal lasts. Most sites say 2 to 4 weeks. I won’t dip today.
Every time I log in my anxiety level goes through the roof. Guess I’m done here. I will never dip again. Bye guys and happy not dipping.
We've offered everything possible to help you Steve. Your self imposed limitations prevent you from taking full advantage of the entire KTC process which is what makes this place so successful. Our pledge to brotherhood and accountability have kept some of us posting in here with you but unless you open yourself up to doing this our way, there is nothing left for you here. I've only had to say that to a couple people on KTC over my 8 years here and it hurts my soul each time.
I hope you find peace in your life. Godspeed brother.
Ages ago I woulda chimed in with something snarky or cutting. I’ve seen all the quitter types and those who leave these halls really do have a tougher road to walk, I think.
But…
Life’s too short to stir up shit like that. Peace and healing are out there, man. It’s also right here but if you feel you need to step away… so be it. Go find that healing. Find that peace.