KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Byoo882151 on October 07, 2019, 11:05:00 AM
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Hey everyone,
I'm not sure I'm in the right place, but here's my introduction:
Today is day 4 for me. I have been dipping over a can a day for 16 years (since I was 15). I have made attempts to quit in the past:
Took Chantix when I was 22 and quit for about 6 months. Then one day I told myself I'll just have one dip to get that buzz...within a few days it was back to over a can per day.
Tried Nicorette a few times in my early 20's but never could make it 1 day.
about 4 years ago my wife's grandmother died from lung cancer and COPD caused by a lifetime of smoking. I tried to quit but never could give up that 1 dip per day.
2 years ago I tried another round of Chantix and after 6 months on the medicine I was still dipping, so I gave up on Chantix.
Last year I tried cold turkey, and my brain felt like it was going to explode and I didn't last 1 day.
I failed and failed and failed and thought I would never quit. I finally got the motivation to kick the habit for a purely selfish reason. This is embarrassing to admit, but there is a computer game I want to play and the system requirements are so high that I would have to buy a $1400 computer to be able to play it without it looking like garbage. So my wife and I made a deal that if I can quit, then in 30 days I can buy the computer. We made the deal at the beginning of September, and she was ok with using Nicorette and still calling it "quit" since I'm not using tobacco. I struggled all of September with bouncing back and forth between Nicorette for a day or 2, and then back on the dip. The more I read this website, the more convinced I became that the Nicorette was holding me back...I'd spent a whole month chewing Nicorette, and was still dipping tobacco almost every day. So on Thursday October 3rd at 9:00, I spit out my last dip and have not dipped or chewed Nicorette since.
The next day at work, Friday October 4th, I literally spaced out at my computer the entire afternoon. It was like my brain just refused to work. The hardest dip for me not to take is the morning dip for that morning poo. And when I wake up my brain is super foggy and I'm a little confused about what I should do, but after i drink a cup of coffee my brain eventually turns back on. Friday was a tough day, Saturday was better, it was mainly just trying to keep myself busy, but I can't really remember what exactly we did. Sunday afternoon was the hardest time so far since Friday, just kind of the doldrums and I was bored and didn't know what to do with my time...since previously I could sit on the couch and dip as my activity.
Anyway I'm on day 4, and I still smell it, and talking about it makes my mouth water. We're building a house and living with my parents right now, and my dad dips which makes it harder because at any time I could walk to the drawer he keeps his dip in and take one out, but I've held off so far. I woke up at 3AM this morning in a daze and almost raided the drawer to get a dip and stay up for an hour thinking about how great it tastes, but I managed to hold off and fell back asleep.
Not sure where to go from here as far as posting in groups, or even if I'm in the right place, but it feels good to say all this.
Byoo
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Hey everyone,
I'm not sure I'm in the right place, but here's my introduction:
Today is day 4 for me. I have been dipping over a can a day for 16 years (since I was 15). I have made attempts to quit in the past:
Took Chantix when I was 22 and quit for about 6 months. Then one day I told myself I'll just have one dip to get that buzz...within a few days it was back to over a can per day.
Tried Nicorette a few times in my early 20's but never could make it 1 day.
about 4 years ago my wife's grandmother died from lung cancer and COPD caused by a lifetime of smoking. I tried to quit but never could give up that 1 dip per day.
2 years ago I tried another round of Chantix and after 6 months on the medicine I was still dipping, so I gave up on Chantix.
Last year I tried cold turkey, and my brain felt like it was going to explode and I didn't last 1 day.
I failed and failed and failed and thought I would never quit. I finally got the motivation to kick the habit for a purely selfish reason. This is embarrassing to admit, but there is a computer game I want to play and the system requirements are so high that I would have to buy a $1400 computer to be able to play it without it looking like garbage. So my wife and I made a deal that if I can quit, then in 30 days I can buy the computer. We made the deal at the beginning of September, and she was ok with using Nicorette and still calling it "quit" since I'm not using tobacco. I struggled all of September with bouncing back and forth between Nicorette for a day or 2, and then back on the dip. The more I read this website, the more convinced I became that the Nicorette was holding me back...I'd spent a whole month chewing Nicorette, and was still dipping tobacco almost every day. So on Thursday October 3rd at 9:00, I spit out my last dip and have not dipped or chewed Nicorette since.
The next day at work, Friday October 4th, I literally spaced out at my computer the entire afternoon. It was like my brain just refused to work. The hardest dip for me not to take is the morning dip for that morning poo. And when I wake up my brain is super foggy and I'm a little confused about what I should do, but after i drink a cup of coffee my brain eventually turns back on. Friday was a tough day, Saturday was better, it was mainly just trying to keep myself busy, but I can't really remember what exactly we did. Sunday afternoon was the hardest time so far since Friday, just kind of the doldrums and I was bored and didn't know what to do with my time...since previously I could sit on the couch and dip as my activity.
Anyway I'm on day 4, and I still smell it, and talking about it makes my mouth water. We're building a house and living with my parents right now, and my dad dips which makes it harder because at any time I could walk to the drawer he keeps his dip in and take one out, but I've held off so far. I woke up at 3AM this morning in a daze and almost raided the drawer to get a dip and stay up for an hour thinking about how great it tastes, but I managed to hold off and fell back asleep.
Not sure where to go from here as far as posting in groups, or even if I'm in the right place, but it feels good to say all this.
Byoo
@Byoo882151 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=15700)
Welcome. Congratulations on making one of the greatest decisions you will ever make. I split your post out into its own topic, as you had it posted in another quitters intro (PM me to change the topic title)
Few things..
1) First and foremost.. dipping is not a habit.. it is a deadly addiction. You are an addict. You must admit this to yourself in order to be successful.
2) Do you WANT to quit? To be successful, you’re going to have to quit for yourself.. not a computer game.
3) If you threw out your last dip on Thursday.. that makes today Day 5 for you!
4) https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=15899.0 is the link to your pre HoF group... go on in there and post roll. This is your promise to remain nicotine free for the rest of the day. We take it one day at a time here.. no need to worry about tomorrow until it gets here. Forever is scary.
Go post roll if your ready. If you’re not quitting for yourself, you’ve already failed. Re evaluate, and come post in your group when you make that decision.
Proud to quit with you.
Sand44 - 356 days nicotine free.
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Byoo,
There are a lot of challenges in your intro that you need to address before you will be successful at quitting nicotine. First off, you have to want to quit for you and only you, not for a fucking computer. Second, you are an addict. You are addicted to nicotine, same as me and everyone else in here. You need to embrace that fact. The only habit you have, is you like to put things in your mouth. There are much safer alternatives to put in your mouth. Nicorette or any other nicotine replacement is not going to work. All you are doing is replacing the delivery method.
Until you get it in your head that you are an addict and you want to quit for you and you alone, it is going to be very difficult for you. I'm not saying impossible, but your chances are go way down.
As far as this place goes, posting roll every day in your quit group is the minimum to help you stay quit. Those that take an active roll in participating in conversations, or helping track down late posters and keeping up on the SSOA (Spreadsheet of accountability) have a much better track record.
Your group is the January 2020 Quit Group found HERE (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=15899.msg7520110#new).
Go there now and post your promise to remain nicotine free for the next 24 hours. Keep your word and come back tomorrow morning and do it again. Keep doing that every day right after you wake up and you can remain quit as long as you keep your word.
Start exchanging phone numbers with other quitters in your group as well as some vets. Those numbers are your lifeline. If it gets too bad, call someone. Don't collect numbers and then fail to use them and cave. That is just stupid to not use the tools provided. Those numbers also serve as the cornerstone of your accountability and brotherhood wall. Get to know those people. Making a promise to someone you know is way more powerful that making a promise to an internet stranger.
Send me a private message if you would like my number.
Proud to quit with you today,
Chris
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Thank you for the dose of reality. I'm not calling it 5 days until 9 PM tonight since I had my last dip at 9 PM Thursday. Now that I know where to post, I'll see you all bright and early tomorrow morning when i post on roll call.
It is an addiction and I am 100% addicted to nicotine and my body and brain are fighting me like hell for a fix! I am quitting for myself, and have wanted to quit again ever since I picked it back up when I was 22 after having quit for 6 months. Yes the computer is silly, but it's a short term reward for doing it and the promise of that reward has given me the kickstart to do something I've never done before... quit cold turkey. Honestly cold turkey has felt better than being on Chantix. Chantix messed with my brain too much with the dreams and depression feelings. Cold turkey I notice very intense cravings and very intense bouts of fogginess, but they're all short and go away quickly for me.
The single thing that has helped me the most is physical activity. I've been a gym rat since I was in high school and I go to the gym an lunch, and work out more when i get home. Something about the physical activity makes it all feel better. So that helped on Friday, and over the weekend went on a couple long walks with my baby boy and golden retriever. And today will be another gym day.
I'll post roll call every morning, and come here to this thread to vent.
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Thank you for the dose of reality. I'm not calling it 5 days until 9 PM tonight since I had my last dip at 9 PM Thursday. Now that I know where to post, I'll see you all bright and early tomorrow morning when i post on roll call.
It is an addiction and I am 100% addicted to nicotine and my body and brain are fighting me like hell for a fix! I am quitting for myself, and have wanted to quit again ever since I picked it back up when I was 22 after having quit for 6 months. Yes the computer is silly, but it's a short term reward for doing it and the promise of that reward has given me the kickstart to do something I've never done before... quit cold turkey. Honestly cold turkey has felt better than being on Chantix. Chantix messed with my brain too much with the dreams and depression feelings. Cold turkey I notice very intense cravings and very intense bouts of fogginess, but they're all short and go away quickly for me.
The single thing that has helped me the most is physical activity. I've been a gym rat since I was in high school and I go to the gym an lunch, and work out more when i get home. Something about the physical activity makes it all feel better. So that helped on Friday, and over the weekend went on a couple long walks with my baby boy and golden retriever. And today will be another gym day.
I'll post roll call every morning, and come here to this thread to vent.
@Byoo882151 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=15700) ,
Great job posting Roll. Don't forget to exchange phone numbers with other quitters.
Yes, vent here in your intro but also in your quit group as it can help other quitters as well as you will get more vets input in the open forum. Not all of them come here to peruse the intros.
Physical activity is great, also drink lots of water this first month or so. Cranberry juice can help with the cravings too.
Talk with your dad and see if you can get him to store his dip somewhere else or better yet, get his ass on roll with you and get him to quit too. I bet your mom would be ecstatic if he quit.
Cold turkey is the only way to go. I've tried Chantix too, and it did nothing. All it's doing is adding another chemical to your body that you don't need.
Keep pushing, stay the course and keep your promise.
Oh, and for Roll tomorrow, you post in the top section with the other "New Bad Ass Quitters", the bottom section is for supporters. But the only wrong roll post is not being on it.
Check your PM inbox for my digits.
Chris
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I just touch on one thing. Video games. I am to a gamer. Pro circuit for gears of war. Retired. The one thing I always did when I play was chew. Honestly my most active time dipping is when video games were involved. Be careful. Seriously I mean that. Be really careful because it's a slippery slope. Multiplayer requires you to be competitive which can lead to stress. And single player at some point in time requires you to farm. And you I both know that farming in games can take up a lot of time. If you feel yourself caving. Take a break. I'll give you my number I'm here to talk about whatever with you.
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You are at the right place....I am on day 7 no nic and I had chewed for 33 years. You can do this....I am quit with you today.
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Thank you for all the feedback. Still having moments of being pissy, but the intense cravings were better yesterday. Yes games are definitely a trigger...if it take some time to play I make sure to have a bottle of water, gum and something to munch on.
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Looks like your back to a day one.
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I'm struggling today. So instead of 1 day at a time, I'm going to 1 hour at a time until I get my shit back together. So, I'll be posting every hour on the hour to say 1 hour down, I quit for the next hour.
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I'm struggling today. So instead of 1 day at a time, I'm going to 1 hour at a time until I get my shit back together. So, I'll be posting every hour on the hour to say 1 hour down, I quit for the next hour.
Whatever you need to do to stay quit brother. One day, one hour, one minute. And always remember, 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems.
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I'm struggling today. So instead of 1 day at a time, I'm going to 1 hour at a time until I get my shit back together. So, I'll be posting every hour on the hour to say 1 hour down, I quit for the next hour.
Whatever you need to do to stay quit brother. One day, one hour, one minute. And always remember, 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems.
@Byoo882151 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=15700) shoot me a call or text if need backup brother. You got my digits.
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One hour down, I quit for the next hour.
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One hour down, I quit for the next hour.
You got this brother! Feel free to PM me, I’d be happy to exchange digits with you!
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One hour down, I quit for the next hour.
You got this brother! Feel free to PM me, I’d be happy to exchange digits with you!
Add me to the list of numbers available for the asking. Dont let yourself down again. You can cave when you get permission from at least one of your group, one admin, and one moderator verbally over the phone(do not hold your breath)
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One hour down, I quit for the next hour.
@Byoo882151 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=15700) Man, you can do this shit. Ask yourself why you think you need the dip....you are 5 days in quit...so it is not nic withdrawals....it is in your head. I have faith you can win this fight bud. Remember why you quit. Eat some seeds, dip some coffee grounds...just dont cave!
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another hour down, 1 more to go.
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another hour down, 1 more to go.
Work is the biggest trigger I have, so I'm keeping this up all day until I leave work. Once I'm home, I'm stopping with the hourly post.
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another hour down, 1 more to go.
Work is the biggest trigger I have, so I'm keeping this up all day until I leave work. Once I'm home, I'm stopping with the hourly post.
Post all you want brother. Just keep your phone numbers handy in case. You've got this, I have confidence in you.
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Another one bites the dust. Don't know why I had the craving like I did, hasn't even been a bad day...actually been pretty damn good. I guess it was just the mind games.
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Got it under control my friends
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Got it under control my friends
way to use the site and tools to stay quit. Some days you have to quit minute to minute.
Great job man!
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Another one bites the dust. Don't know why I had the craving like I did, hasn't even been a bad day...actually been pretty damn good. I guess it was just the mind games.
@Byoo882151 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=15700) you ready to do this? You can do it. I'm happy to help you day by day or hour by hour. Your decision is do you want a longer, better, healthier life or do you want to put crap in your mouth and spit? The crap will kill you.