KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: ChewIsTheBrownDevil on June 15, 2012, 12:32:00 AM
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Thought I would say hello after finding this site. I took my last one on Friday June 1 just after 7 am. I had been a steady, strong chewer for almost 17 years. It was nothing I had planned for that day, I simply decided enough was enough and it being the first of the month was purely coincidental. The night before I even bought two fresh cans (those damn deals, ya know??!!). Right after I left the store, for some reason I had a strong sense of self loathing that I could not get out of my head. I threw one can out of the car window while driving home. Unopened, right into the bushes. By the time I got home, I decided I would quit forever. I went to bed, woke up the next morning, and had my last chew after my morning coffee and before brushing my teeth. The rest of the second, fresh, opened can went into the toilet. That was it. No ceremony. No plan. No substitutes. No patches. Done.
That's coming up on 14 days ago. The first few days were actually not that bad for me. I was drinking water and bought a huge bag of low salt seeds (I've always been a seeder, anyway) that kept all cravings at bay. Now, the only issues I'm experiencing are insomnia, some gas and bloating, and irritability. Another strange thing is my endurance, even though I am in reasonably good shape, seems a lot lower. Other than that, I still feel supremely confident in my choice and screw the tobacco companies!
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Congrats you need to head on over to September quit group and post roll, you will really be surprised how good it is to have so many people watching your ass (not all ghey). That special feeling of freedom returning is unexplainable.
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Done and done. Thanks for the suggestion and info. It felt really good to literally grab this thing by the shirt and punch it in the throat once and for all. Almost extraordinary and impossible to fully describe the empowerment and pride.
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You're still in the fog, it'll pass and you'll feel better then ever. Don't forget the fog, you don't ever want to go through it again. Saw you posted in September, so congrats on that and your quit.
Post roll everyday, its giving your word to your quit brothers that you'll be quit today...one day at a time. This site works because of the accountability, so don't fuck with the system. Reach out to people get numbers and jump into chat every once in a while, these will strengthen that accountability
If you need anything, send me a pm
I quit with you today,
Bruce
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I came by this site sometime in the middle of June. I had quit about 2 weeks beforehand but I was searching the internet, looking for information on how long it took for nicotine to be out of your system. This happened to be one of the first sites listed on Google so I decided to check it out. It led me to the timeline breakdown on what to expect. It seemed like some decent information so I read further into the site. Being a chewer for almost 17 years I decided to sign up and start posting roll when I was encouraged to do so by a few people. This was the first time that I chose to quit so figured I would see what it did for me. Now, you have to understand, I am not much of a blogger. I participate on a few different sites of interest but hanging out in front of a computer for hours on end just does not do it for me. Checking my email on a daily basis is a chore for me even if it is work related. So, if anyone was wondering, that is part of why I do not hang around here a lot.
As far as my experiences with quitting are concerned, it really was not much of a big deal for me. The first week was an adjustment, I had some 'fog', a few bouts of insomnia, irritability, and some wicked gas. It all eventually passed after about a month. I never had any dip dreams and I only had 2 instances that I could call cravings. Both were after some very large meals. I played golf, went fishing, went to a few ball games, attended some barbeques, and had a few beers when I wanted to. During those times I never had any cravings. I recognized those moments as times where I would normally be throwing a dip in the lip but it was nothing that I wanted to do. I didn't want it at all. I have cousins that chew and I have spent time around them since I quit. It was no big deal. I didn't get preachy around them and it didn't affect me in the least. I had made my decision and as far as I was concerned it was final. I did it for me and only me.
Here I am and it has been over a 100 days. I won't beat around the bush so I will just get to the ultimate point of this post. I will not be posting roll anymore. It was not something that I felt was necessary. When I chose to quit I had done so before joining this site. Even looking back at when I did chew tobacco, I fully understand that it was something which I chose to do. It was not a pressure situation. I wanted to do it and I enjoyed it. Even now, after I have quit, I can still say that I did in fact enjoy it. I won't lie to myself and make excuses. This whole thing is about choices. It's not a disease. It's not an affliction. I was happy to do it and now I am happy to not do it. I do not need to conjure mental boogeymen to affirm my choices. I do not have to kick myself in the nuts on a daily basis in some kind of masochistic way to shame myself into quitting. I do not view this as something that is not curable or something that even needs one. To me that is making an excuse to avoid any responsibility for the choice I made. I would rather focus on the positive aspects and the future rather than torture myself about the past. I would rather not even know how many days I have been quit. I just want to be quit, period. In my mind, doing it any other way is only adding to what I view as punishment and like I said, I won't do that to myself. So, as some parting advice I will say this. Take it easy on yourselves and others. It doesn't have to be so difficult. We are not hardcore or badass. We just stopped a habit that we felt was undesirable to us now in some way. Embrace the fact that it will suck while your body and brain readjust. After that it's all about building up your willpower not tearing you or others down. Take pride in your new found level of willpower and apply it to other aspects of your life that might need changing. Finally, Take it easy on people. We are all only human and we make mistakes. Hammering on someone for caving is not very encouraging and only serves the person dishing it out, not the recipient. So, fucking relax on that. Thanks to anyone that offered their support. I appreciate it and good luck. I wish everyone else good luck on their journey and good health.
ChewIsTheBrownDevil
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Can we move this out of introductions and into the Sept group?
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I actually agree with SOME of this. I was doing some reading on the site the other day and I think I counted reading the words, "chew, dip, chaw, etc..." like 300 times. It does tend to wear on you subconsiously over time.
HOWEVER, one of the best things I have heard on this site is "take what you can use and leave the rest." or something like that. I will continue to post roll to remind myself that I need to keep my guard up. The number thing doesn't really bother me. As I'm quitting for the rest of my life. It's not as if on day 245 I will say, "damn I'm only on day 245, I still have 755 days to go to get to 1,000" because there really is no end number like 1,000. So really how can you get frustrated or tortured by posting a number every day. Some days I have to check the days quit counter to see how many days Im quit and even then after I post roll I forget exactly what number I'm on.
Also a lot of people helped me get to day 107 ( I think that's my day), I kind of feel obligated now to help some of the new guys as they struggle at the begging, pay it forward a little bit if you will.
Will my interest wain a little bit as the days, months, years, pile up? I wouldn't doubt it, but at day 107 I think I need to stick around some more. Not saying you should as we are all different but that is just my 2 cents on the matter.
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I kind of feel obligated now to help some of the new guys as they struggle at the begging, pay it forward a little bit if you will.
That is what makes this place work.
but at day 107 I think I need to stick around some more.
That is a real good idea. You are an addict. You are never cured, not at day 107, day 507, day 1007. But you can beat it today.
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Sorry, don't agree with your sentiments or logic. I don't really even see the need for you to have posted this other than to clear your own conscience for why you fail to post your commitment. Ultimately, no one here is going to change your opinion regarding what you deem to be appropriate or right in how cavers are treated. Personally, if I have walked the road with someone and they turn around and tear that road up, I am offended and a small part of me is responsible for that failure. Think of how you discipline your children or how you were disciplined as a child. Did your parents ever get mad or have you gotten mad at your children for their behavior or actions? Were you or did you punish them in some way, shape, or form as a result of the indiscretion? What is our course of action here? I can't take away your X-box, I can't ground you from hanging out with your buddies, I can't do a whole helluva lot except tell you I have no respect for you and have lost respect for you because you failed to keep your word. I will tell you that if your word means nothing, you mean nothing either. A man is only as strong as his word.
Again, do what you want and go as you will. Personally, I've got some debts to repay and some unknowns yet to try to help.
BTW, we are all addicts not habits.
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Diesel -
If you're saying you can handle it, so be it. There is one 100% foolproof way to quit and this site teaches it. It isn't complicated. There are no tricks, gimmicks, excuses, short-cuts or bullshit. You simply give your word each day and keep it.
What I think you're saying is that after 107 days, you have found another way that works for you. Pardon me if I don't believe you. Addicts are natural liars. We lie to loved ones and we lie to ourselves. And we're good at it. In fact, we're so good at lying that we can fool ourselves. Think about that...we can't even tell that we are lying to ourselves. That is one powerful drug!
Your brain has been fucked up and poisoned by nicotine. Whether you want to admit it or not, seperating from the accountability of this site is the first step towards rationalizing just "one more." Nicotine is rationalizing its way back into your life one little baby step at a time. Nicotine is playing the "tip game" with you...and you know how that game ends up.
Look, you will do what you will do. You may have indeed found another way to stay quit. I want you to stay on this And I wish you the best of luck. Unfortunately, addicts betting on luck to keep them clean are usually dissappointed.
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I came by this site sometime in the middle of June. I had quit about 2 weeks beforehand but I was searching the internet, looking for information on how long it took for nicotine to be out of your system. This happened to be one of the first sites listed on Google so I decided to check it out. It led me to the timeline breakdown on what to expect. It seemed like some decent information so I read further into the site. Being a chewer for almost 17 years I decided to sign up and start posting roll when I was encouraged to do so by a few people. This was the first time that I chose to quit so figured I would see what it did for me. Now, you have to understand, I am not much of a blogger. I participate on a few different sites of interest but hanging out in front of a computer for hours on end just does not do it for me. Checking my email on a daily basis is a chore for me even if it is work related. So, if anyone was wondering, that is part of why I do not hang around here a lot.
As far as my experiences with quitting are concerned, it really was not much of a big deal for me. The first week was an adjustment, I had some 'fog', a few bouts of insomnia, irritability, and some wicked gas. It all eventually passed after about a month. I never had any dip dreams and I only had 2 instances that I could call cravings. Both were after some very large meals. I played golf, went fishing, went to a few ball games, attended some barbeques, and had a few beers when I wanted to. During those times I never had any cravings. I recognized those moments as times where I would normally be throwing a dip in the lip but it was nothing that I wanted to do. I didn't want it at all. I have cousins that chew and I have spent time around them since I quit. It was no big deal. I didn't get preachy around them and it didn't affect me in the least. I had made my decision and as far as I was concerned it was final. I did it for me and only me.
Here I am and it has been over a 100 days. I won't beat around the bush so I will just get to the ultimate point of this post. I will not be posting roll anymore. It was not something that I felt was necessary. When I chose to quit I had done so before joining this site. Even looking back at when I did chew tobacco, I fully understand that it was something which I chose to do. It was not a pressure situation. I wanted to do it and I enjoyed it. Even now, after I have quit, I can still say that I did in fact enjoy it. I won't lie to myself and make excuses. This whole thing is about choices. It's not a disease. It's not an affliction. I was happy to do it and now I am happy to not do it. I do not need to conjure mental boogeymen to affirm my choices. I do not have to kick myself in the nuts on a daily basis in some kind of masochistic way to shame myself into quitting. I do not view this as something that is not curable or something that even needs one. To me that is making an excuse to avoid any responsibility for the choice I made. I would rather focus on the positive aspects and the future rather than torture myself about the past. I would rather not even know how many days I have been quit. I just want to be quit, period. In my mind, doing it any other way is only adding to what I view as punishment and like I said, I won't do that to myself. So, as some parting advice I will say this. Take it easy on yourselves and others. It doesn't have to be so difficult. We are not hardcore or badass. We just stopped a habit that we felt was undesirable to us now in some way. Embrace the fact that it will suck while your body and brain readjust. After that it's all about building up your willpower not tearing you or others down. Take pride in your new found level of willpower and apply it to other aspects of your life that might need changing. Finally, Take it easy on people. We are all only human and we make mistakes. Hammering on someone for caving is not very encouraging and only serves the person dishing it out, not the recipient. So, fucking relax on that. Thanks to anyone that offered their support. I appreciate it and good luck. I wish everyone else good luck on their journey and good health.
ChewIsTheBrownDevil
when you cave and want to come back...the site is called Lite
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I hope you stay quit, but as evidenced by all the retreads coming back after 150, 400, 900+ days after leaving the site, the odds might be against you.
But if you can't see the reason and value in posting roll, I have no idea how to convince anyone to keep posting it.
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best wishes to you, hope you are successful in your quit and continue on the road to freedom. I wish you could have found more value in the KTC site, as diesel said earlier "take what you need and leave the rest". I am where i am today simply because of the site and the men here that have taken the time to invest in me.....
I have heard all my life the term "to each, his own" what a bunch of crap, it takes a brotherhood to quit when you are addicted- it is my joy and priviledge to pay this debt forward.
I just wish you could have found the same thing I found here, it would have changed your perspective.
farewell my friend- if you need me PM me i will be here for you.
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Diesel -
If you're saying you can handle it, so be it. There is one 100% foolproof way to quit and this site teaches it. It isn't complicated. There are no tricks, gimmicks, excuses, short-cuts or bullshit. You simply give your word each day and keep it.
What I think you're saying is that after 107 days, you have found another way that works for you. Pardon me if I don't believe you. Addicts are natural liars. We lie to loved ones and we lie to ourselves. And we're good at it. In fact, we're so good at lying that we can fool ourselves. Think about that...we can't even tell that we are lying to ourselves. That is one powerful drug!
Your brain has been fucked up and poisoned by nicotine. Whether you want to admit it or not, seperating from the accountability of this site is the first step towards rationalizing just "one more." Nicotine is rationalizing its way back into your life one little baby step at a time. Nicotine is playing the "tip game" with you...and you know how that game ends up.
Look, you will do what you will do. You may have indeed found another way to stay quit. I want you to stay on this And I wish you the best of luck. Unfortunately, addicts betting on luck to keep them clean are usually dissappointed.
Hey...I'm sticking around. Chewisthebrowndevil is the one leaving, not me!
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Diesel -
If you're saying you can handle it, so be it. There is one 100% foolproof way to quit and this site teaches it. It isn't complicated. There are no tricks, gimmicks, excuses, short-cuts or bullshit. You simply give your word each day and keep it.
What I think you're saying is that after 107 days, you have found another way that works for you. Pardon me if I don't believe you. Addicts are natural liars. We lie to loved ones and we lie to ourselves. And we're good at it. In fact, we're so good at lying that we can fool ourselves. Think about that...we can't even tell that we are lying to ourselves. That is one powerful drug!Â
Your brain has been fucked up and poisoned by nicotine. Whether you want to admit it or not, seperating from the accountability of this site is the first step towards rationalizing just "one more." Nicotine is rationalizing its way back into your life one little baby step at a time. Nicotine is playing the "tip game" with you...and you know how that game ends up.Â
Look, you will do what you will do. You may have indeed found another way to stay quit. I want you to stay on this And I wish you the best of luck. Unfortunately, addicts betting on luck to keep them clean are usually dissappointed.
Hey...I'm sticking around. Chewisthebrowndevil is the one leaving, not me!
'crackup'
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Diesel -
If you're saying you can handle it, so be it.  There is one 100% foolproof way to quit and this site teaches it. It isn't complicated. There are no tricks, gimmicks, excuses, short-cuts or bullshit. You simply give your word each day and keep it.
What I think you're saying is that after 107 days, you have found another way that works for you. Pardon me if I don't believe you. Addicts are natural liars. We lie to loved ones and we lie to ourselves. And we're good at it. In fact, we're so good at lying that we can fool ourselves. Think about that...we can't even tell that we are lying to ourselves. That is one powerful drug!Â
Your brain has been fucked up and poisoned by nicotine. Whether you want to admit it or not, seperating from the accountability of this site is the first step towards rationalizing just "one more." Nicotine is rationalizing its way back into your life one little baby step at a time. Nicotine is playing the "tip game" with you...and you know how that game ends up.Â
Look, you will do what you will do. You may have indeed found another way to stay quit. I want you to stay on this And I wish you the best of luck.  Unfortunately, addicts betting on luck to keep them clean are usually dissappointed.
Hey...I'm sticking around. Chewisthebrowndevil is the one leaving, not me!
'crackup'
SORRY DIESEL!!! I didn't think I was reading that right. But then I am a MORON... :blink:
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Diesel -
If you're saying you can handle it, so be it.  There is one 100% foolproof way to quit and this site teaches it. It isn't complicated. There are no tricks, gimmicks, excuses, short-cuts or bullshit. You simply give your word each day and keep it.
What I think you're saying is that after 107 days, you have found another way that works for you. Pardon me if I don't believe you. Addicts are natural liars. We lie to loved ones and we lie to ourselves. And we're good at it. In fact, we're so good at lying that we can fool ourselves. Think about that...we can't even tell that we are lying to ourselves. That is one powerful drug!Â
Your brain has been fucked up and poisoned by nicotine. Whether you want to admit it or not, seperating from the accountability of this site is the first step towards rationalizing just "one more." Nicotine is rationalizing its way back into your life one little baby step at a time. Nicotine is playing the "tip game" with you...and you know how that game ends up.Â
Look, you will do what you will do. You may have indeed found another way to stay quit. I want you to stay on this And I wish you the best of luck.  Unfortunately, addicts betting on luck to keep them clean are usually dissappointed.
Hey...I'm sticking around. Chewisthebrowndevil is the one leaving, not me!
'crackup'
SORRY DIESEL!!! I didn't think I was reading that right. But then I am a MORON... :blink:
No worries. Lol. :)
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ChewIsTheBrownDevil,
I do wish you the best in your journey in life! I hope you can stay quit and are able to fight off the Nic bitch on your own. But just remember how you reached your 100 day HOFÂ… by using this site and posting roll. I do believe you understand what I am sayingÂ… give credit where credit is due! This site and the support group you had over the last few months helped you quit and stay quit!
As your Sept Brother, I wish you would stick around, post roll and pay it forward to the new guys and gals who are trying to quit! WellÂ… if something happens and the nic bitch starts getting to powerful, you know where you can find usÂ… Posting roll and supporting others here on KTC!
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Can we move this out of introductions and into the Sept group?
Done!