KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: QuitterJoe on January 17, 2019, 09:16:42 AM
-
Before reading, keep in mind that this is day 3 for me and my mind is fucked. If the following sentences make no sense, that's why.
I'm 32 and have been a friend of nicotine for about 20 years. I don't exactly remember when I smoked my first cig or took my first pinch, but I want to say I was around 12. Sure, I wasn't a heavy user back then, but that's when this ride started. Until around 10:30am Tuesday (1/15/2019), I've been at two cans a day for 10 years or so.
I could lie and say that I'm happy to be here. I want a pinch of snuff so bad it pisses me off at times. It comes in waves. I ate a whole bag of Hersey's Drops yesterday because I couldn't scratch what was itching. My mind will not focus on shit. I can't get my job (Network/Systems Administrator) done. I just want to sleep, but when bed time comes I can't. Fuck me.
I'm still quit so far though. Day 3 is here and will be gone soon enough. I'm posting roll (though I feel that process needs a revamp as it makes trying to follow along a complete pain in the ass) in April and appreciate those fellas so far. I've seen every PM sent and although I haven't replied to any, please know that they've been read more than once. Right now, texting/giving my number to a random dude seems weird, but I'll remain active here.
I'm already an asshole and this suck sure isn't making it any better. Any extra help here would be much appreciated it.
-
Before reading, keep in mind that this is day 3 for me and my mind is fucked. If the following sentences make no sense, that's why.
I'm 32 and have been a friend of nicotine for about 20 years. I don't exactly remember when I smoked my first cig or took my first pinch, but I want to say I was around 12. Sure, I wasn't a heavy user back then, but that's when this ride started. Until around 10:30am Tuesday (1/15/2019), I've been at two cans a day for 10 years or so.
I could lie and say that I'm happy to be here. I want a pinch of snuff so bad it pisses me off at times. It comes in waves. I ate a whole bag of Hersey's Drops yesterday because I couldn't scratch what was itching. My mind will not focus on shit. I can't get my job (Network/Systems Administrator) done. I just want to sleep, but when bed time comes I can't. Fuck me.
I'm still quit so far though. Day 3 is here and will be gone soon enough. I'm posting roll (though I feel that process needs a revamp as it makes trying to follow along a complete pain in the ass) in April and appreciate those fellas so far. I've seen every PM sent and although I haven't replied to any, please know that they've been read more than once. Right now, texting/giving my number to a random dude seems weird, but I'll remain active here.
I'm already an asshole and this suck sure isn't making it any better. Any extra help here would be much appreciated it.
This was the point in my quit that sucked the most for me as well. I couldn’t sleep, wanted to rage at every little damn thing, and couldn’t focus on shit. The best way I could get through it was to take it one minute at a time. I’d chew on sunflower seeds, breath for a second, remember this place and that I’ve got may back covered, and work on making it the next minute. That oral fixation satisfied with seeds helped me get through the worst of it. I went through a wheelbarrow full of the damn things, but it helped. Regarding sleep, a took an over the counter sleep aid the first week and a melatonin supplement. It helped some but I still woke up several times a night with dip dreams.
It DOES get better. You can do this...if you need to vent or need to talk through it, let me know. We’re all going through the same suck.
-
I could lie and say that I'm happy to be here. I want a pinch of snuff so bad it pisses me off at times. It comes in waves. I ate a whole bag of Hersey's Drops yesterday because I couldn't scratch what was itching. My mind will not focus on shit. I can't get my job (Network/Systems Administrator) done. I just want to sleep, but when bed time comes I can't. Fuck me.
Thats just the nic trying to convince you to get back together. But you already broke up right? Hell, I had some pretty good craves last night and was raging a bit because of assholes at work so it will come and go even when you're weeks out. Just stay the course, fill your mouth with whatever the hell you want, except nic.
Early in my quit, I would come and hang out on ktc all the time. Even had it up in the background at work. It made me feel pretty good to read a bit here and there about quitters successes. First came the craves, then the fog, the rage, the insomnia, and sometimes all of them rolled up in a big fuck you sandwich. It will just take time to undo what we did to ourselves by using all these years. Trust me, the clouds will part around day 7-10 and you will feel like a rockstar.
I'm still quit so far though. Day 3 is here and will be gone soon enough. I'm posting roll (though I feel that process needs a revamp as it makes trying to follow along a complete pain in the ass) in April and appreciate those fellas so far. I've seen every PM sent and although I haven't replied to any, please know that they've been read more than once. Right now, texting/giving my number to a random dude seems weird, but I'll remain active here.
I'm already an asshole and this suck sure isn't making it any better. Any extra help here would be much appreciated it.
I too, am an asshole.. haha.. The first week isn't easy at all, that's why so many fail. I think we've had 2 quitters that have gone missing so far. All you have to do is post roll early Every Damn Day and make your promise to the group to be nic free for that day. You already made your choice for the day that you are quit and you make it to the next day. I highly suggest you branch out and build some accountability with some quitters in April but vets also. Sometimes, we just need a kick in the ass to be reminded what were doing here and I like that life line. Anyways, you have my number, when you're ready I expect a text to see how you're doing.
-
I could lie and say that I'm happy to be here. I want a pinch of snuff so bad it pisses me off at times. It comes in waves. I ate a whole bag of Hersey's Drops yesterday because I couldn't scratch what was itching. My mind will not focus on shit. I can't get my job (Network/Systems Administrator) done. I just want to sleep, but when bed time comes I can't. Fuck me.
Thats just the nic trying to convince you to get back together. But you already broke up right? Hell, I had some pretty good craves last night and was raging a bit because of assholes at work so it will come and go even when you're weeks out. Just stay the course, fill your mouth with whatever the hell you want, except nic.
Early in my quit, I would come and hang out on ktc all the time. Even had it up in the background at work. It made me feel pretty good to read a bit here and there about quitters successes. First came the craves, then the fog, the rage, the insomnia, and sometimes all of them rolled up in a big fuck you sandwich. It will just take time to undo what we did to ourselves by using all these years. Trust me, the clouds will part around day 7-10 and you will feel like a rockstar.
I'm still quit so far though. Day 3 is here and will be gone soon enough. I'm posting roll (though I feel that process needs a revamp as it makes trying to follow along a complete pain in the ass) in April and appreciate those fellas so far. I've seen every PM sent and although I haven't replied to any, please know that they've been read more than once. Right now, texting/giving my number to a random dude seems weird, but I'll remain active here.
I'm already an asshole and this suck sure isn't making it any better. Any extra help here would be much appreciated it.
I too, am an asshole.. haha.. The first week isn't easy at all, that's why so many fail. I think we've had 2 quitters that have gone missing so far. All you have to do is post roll early Every Damn Day and make your promise to the group to be nic free for that day. You already made your choice for the day that you are quit and you make it to the next day. I highly suggest you branch out and build some accountability with some quitters in April but vets also. Sometimes, we just need a kick in the ass to be reminded what were doing here and I like that life line. Anyways, you have my number, when you're ready I expect a text to see how you're doing.
Joe,
I get that you feel weird about giving your number out to strangers from the internet. I felt the same way a year ago. The first time I gave my number out and got a text from another quitter was awesome because they were no longer some user name on the computer. I could text and call a real person if I needed help. Wouldn't it be nicer to actually speak to another person that is going through or has gone through the exact same things you are going through now. Sure you may need to swallow your pride a bit, but a little embarrassment is WAY better caving.
I sent you my digits. Call me and see what kind of a person I am. I dare you, no wait...I Triple Dog Dare You.
Proud as hell to quit with you today. Look forward to your call.
Chris
-
You can do this Joe!! I did that crap for 35 years and enough is enough. We just have to quit today. We will not worry about tomorrow. Get on roll and then keep your word. I will send you my number. Use it as you need it.
Proud to be quit with you today!!
Brian
-
You can do this Joe!! I did that crap for 35 years and enough is enough. We just have to quit today. We will not worry about tomorrow. Get on roll and then keep your word. I will send you my number. Use it as you need it.
Proud to be quit with you today!!
Brian
I cringe reading about the inability to focus. I was there brother. Stuck on the same paragraph in the Code of Federal Regulations for a few hours; I simply could not comprehend what I was readings. It brought on a full blown anxiety attack. But I didn't roll solo. I blogged it out here. Within the hour I had calls and texts from four different folks checking on me (vets and guys in my group).
Brotherhood + Accountability = success. That and one day at a time.
Educate yourself on the addiction - it's bigger and more insidious than a lot of people realize. There's some links in my signature for starters.
Knowledge is power, ignorance is terribly expensive.
digits in your inbox
IQWYT
-
Man it’s so much easier to say this not being at day three, but everyone here has been at day three. You’ve got this man, and that’s not some bullshit to make you feel good, but you reallly do. You’re pushing through the roughest days, but you have support that is familiar with the process.
And check this out, first person to text me digits (Chris2Alaska)I immediately reply back something like “not my style” “not comfortable” , “ introvert” something like that, and so goes the next three replies to guys offering digits.
Now I’m the guy pedaling my number to new quitters, hoping for a kickback so I can help out ( its only been 3 weeks). I hear from Chris every day, I talk to April quitters through text every day, I text my boy Croak everyday, and everyday he posts up and texts his support. Mayfly has responded to me in astonishment of my outgoing demeanor now because I tried to shut his social ways down in the beginning (not really an asshole by the way).
This shit works! Yes roll can burn you, especially when every time you try and post you get a red response. The community though, the brotherhood, the addict/quitter relationships, they work. Jump in brother and be done.
-
Man it’s so much easier to say this not being at day three, but everyone here has been at day three. You’ve got this man, and that’s not some bullshit to make you feel good, but you reallly do. You’re pushing through the roughest days, but you have support that is familiar with the process.
And check this out, first person to text me digits (Chris2Alaska)I immediately reply back something like “not my style” “not comfortable” , “ introvert” something like that, and so goes the next three replies to guys offering digits.
Now I’m the guy pedaling my number to new quitters, hoping for a kickback so I can help out ( its only been 3 weeks). I hear from Chris every day, I talk to April quitters through text every day, I text my boy Croak everyday, and everyday he posts up and texts his support. Mayfly has responded to me in astonishment of my outgoing demeanor now because I tried to shut his social ways down in the beginning (not really an asshole by the way).
This shit works! Yes roll can burn you, especially when every time you try and post you get a red response. The community though, the brotherhood, the addict/quitter relationships, they work. Jump in brother and be done.
He's absolutely right. I'm a very suspicious/cautious person by nature, but when you buy in that people on this forum are passing #s out with good intentions, it's easy to get over. I pushed my initial weirded-out-ness aside, regarding the whole digits thing, quickly because I knew that I'd likely need someone actively keeping me accountable. That's what this is. It's amazing how strangers making sure that you're honoring your word for the day can really make you stop and think when you hit a craving. We aren't your usual "just quit, it's gross" crowd around here - we're going through it with you. Look around at the vets who've been doing it for 100s of days. THIS. WORKS. IF. YOU. LET. IT. Welcome, Joe, may we stay quit together my friend.
-
Man it’s so much easier to say this not being at day three, but everyone here has been at day three. You’ve got this man, and that’s not some bullshit to make you feel good, but you reallly do. You’re pushing through the roughest days, but you have support that is familiar with the process.
And check this out, first person to text me digits (Chris2Alaska)I immediately reply back something like “not my style” “not comfortable” , “ introvert” something like that, and so goes the next three replies to guys offering digits.
Now I’m the guy pedaling my number to new quitters, hoping for a kickback so I can help out ( its only been 3 weeks). I hear from Chris every day, I talk to April quitters through text every day, I text my boy Croak everyday, and everyday he posts up and texts his support. Mayfly has responded to me in astonishment of my outgoing demeanor now because I tried to shut his social ways down in the beginning (not really an asshole by the way).
This shit works! Yes roll can burn you, especially when every time you try and post you get a red response. The community though, the brotherhood, the addict/quitter relationships, they work. Jump in brother and be done.
He's absolutely right. I'm a very suspicious/cautious person by nature, but when you buy in that people on this forum are passing #s out with good intentions, it's easy to get over. I pushed my initial weirded-out-ness aside, regarding the whole digits thing, quickly because I knew that I'd likely need someone actively keeping me accountable. That's what this is. It's amazing how strangers making sure that you're honoring your word for the day can really make you stop and think when you hit a craving. We aren't your usual "just quit, it's gross" crowd around here - we're going through it with you. Look around at the vets who've been doing it for 100s of days. THIS. WORKS. IF. YOU. LET. IT. Welcome, Joe, may we stay quit together my friend.
I’m one of those weird guys, and guess what, I text ES and his life goes on. It’s not bad guys. Get over the apprehension and make it work. The connections I’ve made are invaluable.