KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Russ B. on September 01, 2013, 12:43:00 AM
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I've been dipping skoal steady at about a tin a day for 5yrs now. Everytime I try to quit I find myself subconsciously buying dip when I stop at the gas station. The toughest part is I am surrounded by it daily whether its at the ice rink or at the fire hall. Recently I have seen many people I know get diagnoised with cancer and I decided I need to make a change because I want to give myself every chance I can to see my baby boy grow up, get married, and have kids. I know its not going to be easy by far but with the support of people that have gone through what I will, I know that this will be the last quit.
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Welcome Russ! This is tough, at day 13 tomorrow I'm not sure when the toughness ends. But worth it. So all the best to you as you start your journey! I'm guessing you know about posting roll in Dec have done some reading on the forums? Everbody's real helpful though. If you need anything just PM away for #'s such.
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I've been dipping skoal steady at about a tin a day for 5yrs now. Everytime I try to quit I find myself subconsciously buying dip when I stop at the gas station. The toughest part is I am surrounded by it daily whether its at the ice rink or at the fire hall. Recently I have seen many people I know get diagnoised with cancer and I decided I need to make a change because I want to give myself every chance I can to see my baby boy grow up, get married, and have kids. I know its not going to be easy by far but with the support of people that have gone through what I will, I know that this will be the last quit.
How do you subconsciously buy a can? Sometimes I subconsciously chew on pen caps or sniff my fingers, but I know I had full awareness with every failed attempt and try.
I appreciate your fire and ice reference. One of my quit brothers entitled his HOF speech "Forged by Fire" and I titled mine "Cool as Ice" - a tip of the hat to the V.I.P Posse - and Robert Frost.
Every day, the thought of being there to watch my daughter grow up solidifies my quit. I quit well before conceiving my daughter, but I can't imagine myself as a chewer giving my daughter the attention and love she deserves.
But, don't get ahead of yourself. Take this quit one day at a time. The reason that I am still quit is because I accept that this may not be my "last quit" - That's an ill phrase, a vile phrase; "last quit" is a vile phrase. Every day for the last 1,930 days, I have made a commitment to myself and my quit bro'her, 65fl, over in August 2008 that I will remain quit for the day. He's done the same. I hope that my quit is strong enough to withstand his eventual absence (by leaving the site or , God forbid, going back to chewing) but I think we both have too much appreciation for the strength created by complete trust and bro'herhood to leave the other behind. And we have deep and diverse toolboxes as many quitters here do.
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Listen to Smokeyg. What he wrote to you was honest and inspirational. All you need to quit is right here, for free, but you have to want it and commit to fighting for it every day. Quitting isnÂ’t easy. Some days it flat out sucks. But even the worst day as a quitter is shit tons better than being a stupid addicted user.
You are about to crawl through hell. If you want to make it through and reach freedom on the other side you have to do a few things:
1) post roll early, every day
2) honor your word all day
3) get involved
Read all that you can on these boards. Get involved in your group. Go post in other groups. Send out some PMs and give out your number (you’ll get numbers back in return). Make your presence known. Make sure people are looking out for you, and look out for a few quitters from your group. That is the “brotherhood” that Smokeyg was referring to.
When I post roll each day I look for a group of guys. If I see their name I know they will remain quit today; their word is gold and so is mine. If I don’t see their name I ask myself, “what’s going on with this guy?” I know these people and they know me. If I know that someone posts early in the morning, before me, and their name isn’t there, damn skippy I’ll be sending them a text. Sometimes I wait a hour or so and check back later to see if they’ve made it onto roll today.
This knowledge comes from getting involved with the quitters in your group. Do it and you will form bonds of friendships that will be stronger than with any other person that you have met in person. I know it sounds crazy, but this KTC method works. All you have to do trust it, trust us, and drink the Kool-Aid.
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The two bad asses who posted b4 me have pretty much summed it up so I will just say a couple things. First you have never quit before. You took a break, had a stoppage, a time out, and then you went back to using. Your only quit is your last quit and it only qualifies as such so long as you are nic free. Also, the poison is all around all the time for most of us. You think your c-stores are the only ones selling tins? You think none of the bad assed quitters here have to work/socialize with dippers, chewers, or smokers on a daily basis? Call in sick to work and lock yourself in your room for a few days until you are strong enough to not feel compelled to poison yourself because other people are. You can do this.
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I titled mine "Cool as Ice" - a tip of the hat to the V.I.P Posse - and Robert Frost.
'crackup'
Play that funky music, white boy.
That was your last dip. But only you can decide to keep it your last. We can help. The KTC can be one of the biggest, baddest weapons in your quit arsenal...but it's up to you to pull the trigger.
You can do this.
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Everytime I try to quit I find myself subconsciously buying dip when I stop at the gas station.
Congrats on taking back your life. The statement above is addict talk, the sooner you can come to grips with the fact that you are an addict the process will be easier for you. Pm me if you want a #.
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Hey Russ. You have been given some pretty sound advice so far, but I noticed that you have not responded nor posted roll since you started this introduction thread. There is a wealth of information and support here, but you must take the initiative to use the tools you have been provided. When you are serious about taking control of your life instead of letting a nicotine plant control you, come on back and follow the steps outlined by Evil Won below. Remember, procrastination is the thief of time. Wayne