KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: granger829 on February 16, 2016, 09:56:00 AM
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Hey everyone, my name is Nick and I am 24 years old. I've used this site as a resource in the past when attempting to quit but I never joined and got involved. Perhaps that is why my previous attempts to quit have not been successful. Anyhow, I am deep in the fog on my 36th hour. I have chewed for 8+ years and for the last 4-5 years it's been about a can of copenhagen wintergreen a day.
In the last 10 months or so I have been dealing with doctors to determine the cause of the lower back pain I have had for several years now. I have tried all of the non-invasive options and the only remaining option for me is to have spinal fusion surgery. I have learned that nicotine can prohibit bone healing and growth. I sure as hell do not want to take the chance of having an unsuccessful fusion due to my inability to kick the habit.
My wife has been very supportive thus far but she works in a hospital and I know I will struggle even more on the days we work opposite shifts. I have been searching high and low for Smokey Mountain because it has helped me with previous quits but I moved since my last quit attempt and I cannot locate it at any local places. If the GetGo on my way home from work doesn't have it I am going to order some online. I really feel like if I can get through the fog I will be on the home stretch, but the fog is dense at the moment.
If any of you have words of encouragement or positive stories of your own please feel free to share. I am more invested in this quit than I have ever been in the past. If you have products or methods you used that helped you to be successful, please feel free to share those as well.
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Hey everyone, my name is Nick and I am 24 years old. I've used this site as a resource in the past when attempting to quit but I never joined and got involved. Perhaps that is why my previous attempts to quit have not been successful. Anyhow, I am deep in the fog on my 36th hour. I have chewed for 8+ years and for the last 4-5 years it's been about a can of copenhagen wintergreen a day.
In the last 10 months or so I have been dealing with doctors to determine the cause of the lower back pain I have had for several years now. I have tried all of the non-invasive options and the only remaining option for me is to have spinal fusion surgery. I have learned that nicotine can prohibit bone healing and growth. I sure as hell do not want to take the chance of having an unsuccessful fusion due to my inability to kick the habit.
My wife has been very supportive thus far but she works in a hospital and I know I will struggle even more on the days we work opposite shifts. I have been searching high and low for Smokey Mountain because it has helped me with previous quits but I moved since my last quit attempt and I cannot locate it at any local places. If the GetGo on my way home from work doesn't have it I am going to order some online. I really feel like if I can get through the fog I will be on the home stretch, but the fog is dense at the moment.
If any of you have words of encouragement or positive stories of your own please feel free to share. I am more invested in this quit than I have ever been in the past. If you have products or methods you used that helped you to be successful, please feel free to share those as well.
Here's a positive story...
I chewed for longer than you've been alive.
I needed to quit.
I wanted to quit.
I found this site and all these other people who were ME.
I found my salvation.
I made that choice.
I Quit.
Own it, young brother. It's not easy but it IS simple... own it. If you really want it... freedom is yours.
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Similar story as you Nick.
Been on this site, but never as a member.
Just joined, on day 7.
Fog sucks, worse than I remember.
Can't focus, life sucks, can't see past it.
I'm coming out the other side now a bit, on day 7.
Concentration and motivation just coming back.
You'll start to see glimpses of light, which feel like freedom soaked in victory.
Hold on to those moments, and make more of them.
Be proud.
Order Smokey Mountain online asap. Can't find it by my house either, but had some Jake's Mint chew left over from a while ago that's getting it done.
Good luck and God Bless.
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Thank you both for the replies. I feel different about this quit than I have felt about my previous unsuccessful quits. I located a place that stocks the Smokey Mountain so I am going to pick up a few cans after work.
I think the hardest part about all this is that I know I need to quit but I don't necessarily want to quit 100%.
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I think the hardest part about all this is that I know I need to quit but I don't necessarily want to quit 100%.
Then why the hell are you here?
We don't put up with people who try.
We don't pander to the half-assed crowd.
If you don't want this 100% then you've failed already and you might as well leave this intro to collect dust. Don't look for us to make up your mind for you. That's all on you. You'll get all the support you need but... you have to be all in or you're wasting our time and yours.
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I am here because I am 100% committed to what I NEED to do. Life isn't always about what you WANT to do. Do I want a pinch right now? You're damn right I do, it would end this battle that I am fighting. I am not going to allow myself to cave though because I know deep down that I am making one of the best decisions of my life.
I am looking for the support of other members who maybe have been in similar positions.
What I meant by my statement was that I want and need to kick this habit 100% - but I still want a chew. I don't know how long that feeling will last but I know I am not going to cave. I have to see this through.
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I am here because I am 100% committed to what I NEED to do. Life isn't always about what you WANT to do. Do I want a pinch right now? You're damn right I do, it would end this battle that I am fighting. I am not going to allow myself to cave though because I know deep down that I am making one of the best decisions of my life.
I am looking for the support of other members who maybe have been in similar positions.
What I meant by my statement was that I want and need to kick this habit 100% - but I still want a chew. I don't know how long that feeling will last but I know I am not going to cave. I have to see this through.
I quit every day with AJ. He is fighting with you 'ya know. Your words are "addict speak". We all thought we "wanted a dip". You don't. You just are tricked into thinking you do. It's addiction and it sucks, but it is fact. Another fact is that you will not succeed unless you truly WANT to quit. Need is only a driving force, but the core of a successful quit is your WANT. WANT to do something for yourself. WANT to take control back. WANT to say never again for any reason. WANT to post roll and promise yourself and all of us that you won't use today. I only want quitters with me that are in this 100% because I cannot do this alone. I WANT to count on you. Can I?
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I quit every day with AJ. He is fighting with you 'ya know. Your words are "addict speak". We all thought we "wanted a dip". You don't. You just are tricked into thinking you do. It's addiction and it sucks, but it is fact. Another fact is that you will not succeed unless you truly WANT to quit. Need is only a driving force, but the core of a successful quit is your WANT. WANT to do something for yourself. WANT to take control back. WANT to say never again for any reason. WANT to post roll and promise yourself and all of us that you won't use today. I only want quitters with me that are in this 100% because I cannot do this alone. I WANT to count on you. Can I?
At day 2 I would imagine most of my words are being chosen by my addiction's desire for nicotine. I am approaching 48 hours. I am in this 100% - I want my back surgery to be successful and I want to rid myself of this pain I've dealt with for years and this nasty habit that I've used as a crutch when times get hard.
I need to learn how to deal with life in ways other than turning to the can. I am realizing a lot reading your comments Ginet and AppleJack. I do want this 110%. I don't think I posted roll right today but I'm gonna give it another shot tomorrow. I think I am trying to look too far in the future right now and it is adding to the anxiety. I need to try to take this one hour at a time, one day at a time.
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I quit every day with AJ. He is fighting with you 'ya know. Your words are "addict speak". We all thought we "wanted a dip". You don't. You just are tricked into thinking you do. It's addiction and it sucks, but it is fact. Another fact is that you will not succeed unless you truly WANT to quit. Need is only a driving force, but the core of a successful quit is your WANT. WANT to do something for yourself. WANT to take control back. WANT to say never again for any reason. WANT to post roll and promise yourself and all of us that you won't use today. I only want quitters with me that are in this 100% because I cannot do this alone. I WANT to count on you. Can I?
At day 2 I would imagine most of my words are being chosen by my addiction's desire for nicotine. I am approaching 48 hours. I am in this 100% - I want my back surgery to be successful and I want to rid myself of this pain I've dealt with for years and this nasty habit that I've used as a crutch when times get hard.
I need to learn how to deal with life in ways other than turning to the can. I am realizing a lot reading your comments Ginet and AppleJack. I do want this 110%. I don't think I posted roll right today but I'm gonna give it another shot tomorrow. I think I am trying to look too far in the future right now and it is adding to the anxiety. I need to try to take this one hour at a time, one day at a time.
Just one note: addiction, not habit. Your addict brain does not want you fighting addiction... you are stronger than the addiction once you name it for what it is. Thus addicts speak of habit, and fail.
Fight addiction, by name. Your back, your life depend on it.
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I quit every day with AJ. He is fighting with you 'ya know. Your words are "addict speak". We all thought we "wanted a dip". You don't. You just are tricked into thinking you do. It's addiction and it sucks, but it is fact. Another fact is that you will not succeed unless you truly WANT to quit. Need is only a driving force, but the core of a successful quit is your WANT. WANT to do something for yourself. WANT to take control back. WANT to say never again for any reason. WANT to post roll and promise yourself and all of us that you won't use today. I only want quitters with me that are in this 100% because I cannot do this alone. I WANT to count on you. Can I?
At day 2 I would imagine most of my words are being chosen by my addiction's desire for nicotine. I am approaching 48 hours. I am in this 100% - I want my back surgery to be successful and I want to rid myself of this pain I've dealt with for years and this nasty habit that I've used as a crutch when times get hard.
I need to learn how to deal with life in ways other than turning to the can. I am realizing a lot reading your comments Ginet and AppleJack. I do want this 110%. I don't think I posted roll right today but I'm gonna give it another shot tomorrow. I think I am trying to look too far in the future right now and it is adding to the anxiety. I need to try to take this one hour at a time, one day at a time.
Just one note: addiction, not habit. Your addict brain does not want you fighting addiction... you are stronger than the addiction once you name it for what it is. Thus addicts speak of habit, and fail.
Fight addiction, by name. Your back, your life depend on it.
Nice. Yes, posting roll can be nuts at times, especially now. I will help you if you need it. You can text me your promise and I will get it on roll as well. (Check your inbox) Making your promise is the most important. Learning roll is important, but don't stress over it. Also, you are right. Don't think about being quit for the rest of your life. Man - that even freaks me out. Just worry about today. All you and I can deal with is today. Just 24 hours. It is great to have goals to reach for, but as I remind people all the time, you cannot get to tomorrow if you can't even do today. Just today!
Your brain will de-funk soon enough......there is no magic time frame on that. You can help it along though. Start with this. You have an addiction. This is not a habit. You are an addict and like me, will always be one. Here's to fighting hard the rest of the day.
I'll be here quittin' like a girl ~
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I'd like to thank you all very much for the words of encouragement and the wisdom you gained through your battles. You have forced me to look inward and ask myself "what exactly is it that I want?"
Obviously my addiction (not habit) wants me to pack my lip but me apart from my addiction wants to be free of this. I want to stay strong and continue to resist the urges.
I finally found some smokey mountain last night. It helps me separate the triggers from the addiction. I'm sure everyone is different but for me if I can have a fake chew at a time I would normally have had a real chew it is easier for me to battle the addiction.
I feel surprisingly good this morning. I hope it's not the calm before the storm. I took an OTC sleep-aid last night and I got a great nights sleep. I have been drinking a ton of water as well as I hear that can help.
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Congrats on the quit, we are all addicts here, and here to help you stay quit in anyway we can.
I have found the Smokey Mountain at WalMart believe it or not. Give them a try if you haven't already.
WalMart is like the Nic Bitch she/it is everywhere.
Stay quit my brother
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Congrats on the quit, we are all addicts here, and here to help you stay quit in anyway we can.
I have found the Smokey Mountain at WalMart believe it or not. Give them a try if you haven't already.
WalMart is like the Nic Bitch she/it is everywhere.
Stay quit my brother
I actually looked at the WalMart closest to my house and they didn't have any and never heard of it. I bought some from a shop n save grocery store last night. I will order some online today since it's hard to find in my area.
I am kind of nervous because I feel really good today. Can't help but feel like it's the calm before another storm.
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I'd like to thank you all very much for the words of encouragement and the wisdom you gained through your battles. You have forced me to look inward and ask myself "what exactly is it that I want?"
Obviously my addiction (not habit) wants me to pack my lip but me apart from my addiction wants to be free of this. I want to stay strong and continue to resist the urges.
I finally found some smokey mountain last night. It helps me separate the triggers from the addiction. I'm sure everyone is different but for me if I can have a fake chew at a time I would normally have had a real chew it is easier for me to battle the addiction.
I feel surprisingly good this morning. I hope it's not the calm before the storm. I took an OTC sleep-aid last night and I got a great nights sleep. I have been drinking a ton of water as well as I hear that can help.
Man, I'm glad to see you were honest enough with yourself to hear what we were saying, look inside to measure it up, and not get all butthurt about it. We all needed to be yanked out of the addict spiral and it's not easy to admit it or accept it. You're gonna have big ups and big downs... just roll with it because every bit of it puts you in a better place as your Quit develops. This is you healing and tasting freedom... it's badass.
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I'd like to thank you all very much for the words of encouragement and the wisdom you gained through your battles. You have forced me to look inward and ask myself "what exactly is it that I want?"
Obviously my addiction (not habit) wants me to pack my lip but me apart from my addiction wants to be free of this. I want to stay strong and continue to resist the urges.
I finally found some smokey mountain last night. It helps me separate the triggers from the addiction. I'm sure everyone is different but for me if I can have a fake chew at a time I would normally have had a real chew it is easier for me to battle the addiction.
I feel surprisingly good this morning. I hope it's not the calm before the storm. I took an OTC sleep-aid last night and I got a great nights sleep. I have been drinking a ton of water as well as I hear that can help.
Man, I'm glad to see you were honest enough with yourself to hear what we were saying, look inside to measure it up, and not get all butthurt about it. We all needed to be yanked out of the addict spiral and it's not easy to admit it or accept it. You're gonna have big ups and big downs... just roll with it because every bit of it puts you in a better place as your Quit develops. This is you healing and tasting freedom... it's badass.
I appreciate it man. I usually struggle with things like this because I am a prideful, stubborn, bull-headed man. I generally don't take advice well but I snooped around and read other people's stories and how they have kicked this addiction and continue to kick this addiction day after day after day. I am the kinda guy that needs to hear things at face value, so the harshness and tough love approach forced me to ask myself if I am in this 100% or not.
It's fairly easy for me to make it through the workday because I stay very busy and have minimal downtime. When I get home is a different story and tonight is the first night I'll be alone because my wife is working 2nd shift today. I am a little anxious to not have my wife to talk to but I have been putting off some minor projects in the garage so I am going to try to keep my mind occupied by getting them done.
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I'd like to thank you all very much for the words of encouragement and the wisdom you gained through your battles. You have forced me to look inward and ask myself "what exactly is it that I want?"
Obviously my addiction (not habit) wants me to pack my lip but me apart from my addiction wants to be free of this. I want to stay strong and continue to resist the urges.
I finally found some smokey mountain last night. It helps me separate the triggers from the addiction. I'm sure everyone is different but for me if I can have a fake chew at a time I would normally have had a real chew it is easier for me to battle the addiction.
I feel surprisingly good this morning. I hope it's not the calm before the storm. I took an OTC sleep-aid last night and I got a great nights sleep. I have been drinking a ton of water as well as I hear that can help.
Man, I'm glad to see you were honest enough with yourself to hear what we were saying, look inside to measure it up, and not get all butthurt about it. We all needed to be yanked out of the addict spiral and it's not easy to admit it or accept it. You're gonna have big ups and big downs... just roll with it because every bit of it puts you in a better place as your Quit develops. This is you healing and tasting freedom... it's badass.
I appreciate it man. I usually struggle with things like this because I am a prideful, stubborn, bull-headed man. I generally don't take advice well but I snooped around and read other people's stories and how they have kicked this addiction and continue to kick this addiction day after day after day. I am the kinda guy that needs to hear things at face value, so the harshness and tough love approach forced me to ask myself if I am in this 100% or not.
It's fairly easy for me to make it through the workday because I stay very busy and have minimal downtime. When I get home is a different story and tonight is the first night I'll be alone because my wife is working 2nd shift today. I am a little anxious to not have my wife to talk to but I have been putting off some minor projects in the garage so I am going to try to keep my mind occupied by getting them done.
Hell yes. I love Wins!!!
Crush today.
~G
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I'd like to thank you all very much for the words of encouragement and the wisdom you gained through your battles. You have forced me to look inward and ask myself "what exactly is it that I want?"
Obviously my addiction (not habit) wants me to pack my lip but me apart from my addiction wants to be free of this. I want to stay strong and continue to resist the urges.
I finally found some smokey mountain last night. It helps me separate the triggers from the addiction. I'm sure everyone is different but for me if I can have a fake chew at a time I would normally have had a real chew it is easier for me to battle the addiction.
I feel surprisingly good this morning. I hope it's not the calm before the storm. I took an OTC sleep-aid last night and I got a great nights sleep. I have been drinking a ton of water as well as I hear that can help.
Man, I'm glad to see you were honest enough with yourself to hear what we were saying, look inside to measure it up, and not get all butthurt about it. We all needed to be yanked out of the addict spiral and it's not easy to admit it or accept it. You're gonna have big ups and big downs... just roll with it because every bit of it puts you in a better place as your Quit develops. This is you healing and tasting freedom... it's badass.
I appreciate it man. I usually struggle with things like this because I am a prideful, stubborn, bull-headed man. I generally don't take advice well but I snooped around and read other people's stories and how they have kicked this addiction and continue to kick this addiction day after day after day. I am the kinda guy that needs to hear things at face value, so the harshness and tough love approach forced me to ask myself if I am in this 100% or not.
It's fairly easy for me to make it through the workday because I stay very busy and have minimal downtime. When I get home is a different story and tonight is the first night I'll be alone because my wife is working 2nd shift today. I am a little anxious to not have my wife to talk to but I have been putting off some minor projects in the garage so I am going to try to keep my mind occupied by getting them done.
Trust me, man... I get it. Like I said, I chewed for 25 years and damn near 2 cans a day for the last 10 of it. There was no time of day I didn't have one in and nothing in my life I did without it.
All day, every day was a trigger.
But... I wanted this. Bad. I had a plan for everything for awhile... things to do and keep me busy and accountable. Plus, I'm a bit twisted and made myself enjoy how awful it was AND that I was winning each day.
Get involved and stay involved... get numbers and create accountability.
Day 1,037 for me and I got here by doing exactly that ^^^.
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Welcome to KTC. AppleJack has laid down some very solid advice here and I wanted to make sure you "get it"
When you exchange numbers with other quitters from here you weave a network of accountability that is real, no longer an internet post, but someone who can and will call you out via a text of phone call to say "man up" or question your commitment to this.
As you can see this is not easy, and let me say it gets harder too. Have that emergency back-up in case you cannot post roll, text someone else who will for you. Just know that when you do that you ask someone else to trust in you and your word. Trust is earned not given. I look forward to seeing more posts from you, daily.
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Working on day 4 today. I think I finally posted roll the right way. Last night was my first night at home by myself since my quit began. My wife works in a hospital so her shifts differ from day to day. I was expecting it to be more difficult than it was. I worked on some projects I had been putting off and kept my mind busy.
I think I've made it through the nicotine withdrawl phase and now it's a battle of mind games. There are times I catch my mind thinking "man I could go for a chew right now" - but I just grab a piece of gum or slug some water. I am finding that almost everything I do is a trigger because I used to do almost everything with a chew in. One of the most difficult times for me is my drive home from work. I have been using smokey mountain while driving home. It helps but the stress of traffic can make it difficult at times.
As good as I feel now (as compared to earlier this week) I have told myself it would be incredibly stupid to cave because I'd have to go through the hell that were days 1,2, and 3 all over again.
I've taken the accountability thing a step further and I shared my quit with my mother who was never very happy about my addiction. She was under the impression that I had quit some time ago and was disappointed that I had lied to her but she is supportive in my quit. I also discussed my quit with my 19 year old brother who has always thought it was nasty and promised he'd never try it. I am quitting one day at a time for myself but I want to stay quit to make my family proud.
I also spoke with someone else who has a quit date chosen and we are going to help each other stay accountable over phone calls and text messages because he does not use a computer.
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Working on day 4 today. I think I finally posted roll the right way. Last night was my first night at home by myself since my quit began. My wife works in a hospital so her shifts differ from day to day. I was expecting it to be more difficult than it was. I worked on some projects I had been putting off and kept my mind busy.
I think I've made it through the nicotine withdrawl phase and now it's a battle of mind games. There are times I catch my mind thinking "man I could go for a chew right now" - but I just grab a piece of gum or slug some water. I am finding that almost everything I do is a trigger because I used to do almost everything with a chew in. One of the most difficult times for me is my drive home from work. I have been using smokey mountain while driving home. It helps but the stress of traffic can make it difficult at times.
As good as I feel now (as compared to earlier this week) I have told myself it would be incredibly stupid to cave because I'd have to go through the hell that were days 1,2, and 3 all over again.
I've taken the accountability thing a step further and I shared my quit with my mother who was never very happy about my addiction. She was under the impression that I had quit some time ago and was disappointed that I had lied to her but she is supportive in my quit. I also discussed my quit with my 19 year old brother who has always thought it was nasty and promised he'd never try it. I am quitting one day at a time for myself but I want to stay quit to make my family proud.
I also spoke with someone else who has a quit date chosen and we are going to help each other stay accountable over phone calls and text messages because he does not use a computer.
This is awesome, and I will admit I still have those days where a thought pops in my head "just one more" or "no one is watching"; When those come I punish myself physically because there is no way in hell I am going to let my addict brain fuck up the quit I have established thus far.
That is good to know that your wife is supportive and understands where you are coming from. I recommend that you let her read the following Spousal Support (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spousal-support/) write up that very well identifies to her what you will go through, what she may notice and also guide her on how to deal with the delicate flower or the raging asshole you may/will become at times.
Keep this up, post the good and bad days in your intro because one day you will need to come back here and read through these to help you remember the quit journey.
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Working on day 4 today. I think I finally posted roll the right way. Last night was my first night at home by myself since my quit began. My wife works in a hospital so her shifts differ from day to day. I was expecting it to be more difficult than it was. I worked on some projects I had been putting off and kept my mind busy.
I think I've made it through the nicotine withdrawl phase and now it's a battle of mind games. There are times I catch my mind thinking "man I could go for a chew right now" - but I just grab a piece of gum or slug some water. I am finding that almost everything I do is a trigger because I used to do almost everything with a chew in. One of the most difficult times for me is my drive home from work. I have been using smokey mountain while driving home. It helps but the stress of traffic can make it difficult at times.
As good as I feel now (as compared to earlier this week) I have told myself it would be incredibly stupid to cave because I'd have to go through the hell that were days 1,2, and 3 all over again.
I've taken the accountability thing a step further and I shared my quit with my mother who was never very happy about my addiction. She was under the impression that I had quit some time ago and was disappointed that I had lied to her but she is supportive in my quit. I also discussed my quit with my 19 year old brother who has always thought it was nasty and promised he'd never try it. I am quitting one day at a time for myself but I want to stay quit to make my family proud.
I also spoke with someone else who has a quit date chosen and we are going to help each other stay accountable over phone calls and text messages because he does not use a computer.
This is awesome, and I will admit I still have those days where a thought pops in my head "just one more" or "no one is watching"; When those come I punish myself physically because there is no way in hell I am going to let my addict brain fuck up the quit I have established thus far.
That is good to know that your wife is supportive and understands where you are coming from. I recommend that you let her read the following Spousal Support (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spousal-support/) write up that very well identifies to her what you will go through, what she may notice and also guide her on how to deal with the delicate flower or the raging asshole you may/will become at times.
Keep this up, post the good and bad days in your intro because one day you will need to come back here and read through these to help you remember the quit journey.
I'm gonna add to brudda Pinch just a bit... as weird as it may feel, create accountability to an epic degree with anyone/everyone on this site. Your group... vets whose intros/advice strikes a chord... whatever, man. It took me a long time to turn that page cuz, well, it's the internet. It's weird. But... dammit, it works here.
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I'm gonna add to brudda Pinch just a bit... as weird as it may feel, create accountability to an epic degree with anyone/everyone on this site. Your group... vets whose intros/advice strikes a chord... whatever, man. It took me a long time to turn that page cuz, well, it's the internet. It's weird. But... dammit, it works here.
Thanks for the advice AppleJack.
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Good morning day 5! I am feeling good today, trying to soak in the positive vibes while they are here. I know that there will be harder days to come but I want to take in every single second that I feel good so that on those not so good days I can remind myself that good will make a comeback.
I am trying to use smokey mountain as minimally as possible because I feel good and I don't want to keep feeding the oral fixation - I'd like to break that sooner than later.
My current struggle is cravings. Every so often throughout the day I think about dip and just going through the motions... packing the can, filling my lip - and then I catch myself and try to think about something different or go for a walk with my dog.
All in all I truly feel much different about this quit than any of my other attempts to quit. I don't know if it's the brotherhood that KTC has provided me with or if I just truly want this quit where in the past I didn't want it as much. I am thankful for all of you and the words you have shared with me.
One question I do have though for some of you HOF-ers out there - do the cravings start to come less often as time passes? I am sure that they do but I want to hear it from someone who's lived it.
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Good morning day 5! I am feeling good today, trying to soak in the positive vibes while they are here. I know that there will be harder days to come but I want to take in every single second that I feel good so that on those not so good days I can remind myself that good will make a comeback.
I am trying to use smokey mountain as minimally as possible because I feel good and I don't want to keep feeding the oral fixation - I'd like to break that sooner than later.
My current struggle is cravings. Every so often throughout the day I think about dip and just going through the motions... packing the can, filling my lip - and then I catch myself and try to think about something different or go for a walk with my dog.
All in all I truly feel much different about this quit than any of my other attempts to quit. I don't know if it's the brotherhood that KTC has provided me with or if I just truly want this quit where in the past I didn't want it as much. I am thankful for all of you and the words you have shared with me.
One question I do have though for some of you HOF-ers out there - do the cravings start to come less often as time passes? I am sure that they do but I want to hear it from someone who's lived it.
They absolutely do fade, man. There will come a day in the not so distant future where, at the end of the day, you'll realize you didn't think about it. Not once.
It's coming... I promise.
Do exactly what you're doing right now... re-training your brain to move onto something else. Every time. That'll eventually become the new norm.
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Good morning day 5! I am feeling good today, trying to soak in the positive vibes while they are here. I know that there will be harder days to come but I want to take in every single second that I feel good so that on those not so good days I can remind myself that good will make a comeback.
I am trying to use smokey mountain as minimally as possible because I feel good and I don't want to keep feeding the oral fixation - I'd like to break that sooner than later.
My current struggle is cravings. Every so often throughout the day I think about dip and just going through the motions... packing the can, filling my lip - and then I catch myself and try to think about something different or go for a walk with my dog.
All in all I truly feel much different about this quit than any of my other attempts to quit. I don't know if it's the brotherhood that KTC has provided me with or if I just truly want this quit where in the past I didn't want it as much. I am thankful for all of you and the words you have shared with me.
One question I do have though for some of you HOF-ers out there - do the cravings start to come less often as time passes? I am sure that they do but I want to hear it from someone who's lived it.
They absolutely do fade, man. There will come a day in the not so distant future where, at the end of the day, you'll realize you didn't think about it. Not once.
It's coming... I promise.
Do exactly what you're doing right now... re-training your brain to move onto something else. Every time. That'll eventually become the new norm.
The cravings do in fact fade, they never go away (or at least they haven't yet). The frequency of them fades, they are still strong.
Do what you need to in order to get through a rough day. While it is good to eliminate a crutch, keep in mind that an emergency crutch might be a good idea. I kept a tin of Hooch spitfire with me for over a year after I decided I did not need it anymore. I did that because I was afraid that if an opportunity presented itself I would rather use the fake than cave and stop at the gas station for a quick fix. I did not trust myself then. Now I have no crutch and life still happens but when it does I deal with it another way.
Keep adding the days and the journey gets not only easier but more clear.
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Well it's the morning of day 8. I was feeling great last Thursday and Friday, but this weekend really kicked my ass. We had some unseasonably warm weather and I had craving after craving after craving... I am assuming that this is because I had much more idle time than I do on weekdays. I hope weekends get easier sooner than later.
I feel ok today mainly because I have to get up early and get to work so a lot of my time is eaten up and I don't have so much time to think and dwell.
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Well it's the morning of day 8. I was feeling great last Thursday and Friday, but this weekend really kicked my ass. We had some unseasonably warm weather and I had craving after craving after craving... I am assuming that this is because I had much more idle time than I do on weekdays. I hope weekends get easier sooner than later.
I feel ok today mainly because I have to get up early and get to work so a lot of my time is eaten up and I don't have so much time to think and dwell.
Day 8 is kick ass! Way to go. You made it through the weekend, no matter how hard it was. That is a win! Hell yes! It does get better. I promise. You just have to trust that.
Hey - guess what! Keep your word today and you NEVER HAVE TO DO THESE DAYS OVER. You never will relive that first weekend of hell. See - silver lining baby!
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Today is day 9. I had been sleeping pretty well but I laid awake, tossing and turning most of last night. Hoping it was a fluke and nothing to get riled up over.
My anxiety has been through the roof since Sunday afternoon (probably the reason for my sleepless night). I cannot determine the cause of the anxiety. I have always been an anxious person by nature but I can usually always determine the root of the anxiety and relieve it in one way or another. I have never taken meds for anxiety. I have an appointment with a new neurosurgeon coming up in a couple of weeks and I think that's partly to blame and just the associated anxiousness that comes with being early in my quit.
Hoping these next couple of days are better than the last 3.
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Day 10! It's been quite the roller-coaster ride the last week and a half. I've learned a lot on this forum so far and I continue to read things that are helping me stay strong day to day.
Just a quick recap of the things that stand out the most:
- What for years I called a nasty habit is fueled by addiction. There is no way around it, my previous attempts to quit were unsuccessful because I failed to acknowledge that I was and am an ADDICT.
- Quitting happens one day at a time, don't think about how you'll feel when summer rolls around and you're without chew. Today I quit for today and tomorrow I quit for tomorrow. Anything beyond that is just pointless to think about.
- There truly is a brotherhood here and for that I am thankful. I feel much different about this quit than my unsuccessful attempts in the past. I am part of the pre-HOF May 2016 group and I'm reaching out to newer quitters in the pre-HOF June 2016 group.
I've been excessively anxious the last few days and I think last night I figured out the reason. I'm only 10 days in and I was trying to avoid using smokey mountain as much as possible. I had it in my mind that if I used it even half as much as I chewed the real stuff that I was weak and I needed to overcome both the addiction and the oral fixation all at the same time. Truth be told that mindset was and is stupid. I was overly anxious and it was starting to take a toll on my sleep, focusing at work, etc. - I have started leaning on the smokey mountain just a little harder and my anxiety level has dropped significantly. I do not plan to use the product for a long time but I will lean on it until the cravings and urges are farther and fewer between. I am not strong enough to kick every aspect this early in the game. After realizing and admitting that I feel much better.
I want to document my daily feelings and what I'm going through so that if other quitters are going through similar things they can reach out but also I want to look back and remind myself what hell I've been through and why I should never put myself back through this hell.
-
Day 10! It's been quite the roller-coaster ride the last week and a half. I've learned a lot on this forum so far and I continue to read things that are helping me stay strong day to day.
Just a quick recap of the things that stand out the most:
- What for years I called a nasty habit is fueled by addiction. There is no way around it, my previous attempts to quit were unsuccessful because I failed to acknowledge that I was and am an ADDICT.
- Quitting happens one day at a time, don't think about how you'll feel when summer rolls around and you're without chew. Today I quit for today and tomorrow I quit for tomorrow. Anything beyond that is just pointless to think about.
- There truly is a brotherhood here and for that I am thankful. I feel much different about this quit than my unsuccessful attempts in the past. I am part of the pre-HOF May 2016 group and I'm reaching out to newer quitters in the pre-HOF June 2016 group.
I've been excessively anxious the last few days and I think last night I figured out the reason. I'm only 10 days in and I was trying to avoid using smokey mountain as much as possible. I had it in my mind that if I used it even half as much as I chewed the real stuff that I was weak and I needed to overcome both the addiction and the oral fixation all at the same time. Truth be told that mindset was and is stupid. I was overly anxious and it was starting to take a toll on my sleep, focusing at work, etc. - I have started leaning on the smokey mountain just a little harder and my anxiety level has dropped significantly. I do not plan to use the product for a long time but I will lean on it until the cravings and urges are farther and fewer between. I am not strong enough to kick every aspect this early in the game. After realizing and admitting that I feel much better.
I want to document my daily feelings and what I'm going through so that if other quitters are going through similar things they can reach out but also I want to look back and remind myself what hell I've been through and why I should never put myself back through this hell.
Keep winning!
-
Today's day 15 for me. Hard to believe it's been two whole weeks already. At this point I am having mostly good days with a few bad minutes here and there. I am realizing that nicotine was a crutch for an anxiety problem that I have struggled with for years. I was excessively anxious as a child and young teen. After I started chewing I leaned on nicotine to help me keep the anxiety at bay. I am realizing now that nicotine only masked the anxiety for all those years. I am struggling more with battling the anxiety than I am with battling the cravings at this point. I need to learn how to cope with day to day life without leaning on nicotine. I am sure it will come with time but I sure am struggling with it now.
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Today's day 15 for me. Hard to believe it's been two whole weeks already. At this point I am having mostly good days with a few bad minutes here and there. I am realizing that nicotine was a crutch for an anxiety problem that I have struggled with for years. I was excessively anxious as a child and young teen. After I started chewing I leaned on nicotine to help me keep the anxiety at bay. I am realizing now that nicotine only masked the anxiety for all those years. I am struggling more with battling the anxiety than I am with battling the cravings at this point. I need to learn how to cope with day to day life without leaning on nicotine. I am sure it will come with time but I sure am struggling with it now.
I think you'll find that most of us practiced the same stress avoidance to one degree or another. You'll find thread after thread on anxiety here. As in all aspects of quitting... you're not alone brother. Faaaar from it! Realization is one of the keys here. You're in the know and aware of what's going on. Man, that's huge. By all means, do your best to fight and beat this by your rules but, never... Never... be ashamed of heading to the doc and getting a li'l med assist to keep you running smooth. Rock on, bro... you are on your way to a freedom that'll blow your mind!
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Day 10! It's been quite the roller-coaster ride the last week and a half. I've learned a lot on this forum so far and I continue to read things that are helping me stay strong day to day.
Just a quick recap of the things that stand out the most:
- What for years I called a nasty habit is fueled by addiction. There is no way around it, my previous attempts to quit were unsuccessful because I failed to acknowledge that I was and am an ADDICT.
- Quitting happens one day at a time, don't think about how you'll feel when summer rolls around and you're without chew. Today I quit for today and tomorrow I quit for tomorrow. Anything beyond that is just pointless to think about.
- There truly is a brotherhood here and for that I am thankful. I feel much different about this quit than my unsuccessful attempts in the past. I am part of the pre-HOF May 2016 group and I'm reaching out to newer quitters in the pre-HOF June 2016 group.
I've been excessively anxious the last few days and I think last night I figured out the reason. I'm only 10 days in and I was trying to avoid using smokey mountain as much as possible. I had it in my mind that if I used it even half as much as I chewed the real stuff that I was weak and I needed to overcome both the addiction and the oral fixation all at the same time. Truth be told that mindset was and is stupid. I was overly anxious and it was starting to take a toll on my sleep, focusing at work, etc. - I have started leaning on the smokey mountain just a little harder and my anxiety level has dropped significantly. I do not plan to use the product for a long time but I will lean on it until the cravings and urges are farther and fewer between. I am not strong enough to kick every aspect this early in the game. After realizing and admitting that I feel much better.
I want to document my daily feelings and what I'm going through so that if other quitters are going through similar things they can reach out but also I want to look back and remind myself what hell I've been through and why I should never put myself back through this hell.
Keep winning!
Yes! Winner winner! It just keeps getting better. Don't worry about the smokey mountain. Use it if it works for you. I needed it. It works. Do anything that helps you NOT put that shit in your mouth. Congrats on ten days all in a row. That my friend, is simply bad ass!
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Haven't floated around the intro board in a while but tonight I did and caught your name....couldn't help but post some advice. Some of which it looks like you are already getting a handle of.
1. Young guys probably have the worst track record on this site so be aware. For some it's living a party lifestyle (quitting is harder when you're drinking and more vulnerable) for others its the belief that after a few days of quitting they make the mistake in believing that quitting isn't that hard so they can crack for a day and then start quitting again the next day (thinking this added decades to me feeding my addiction). Whatever the reason young guys cave....don't be another 20 something who proves this point again.
2. Most of the successful quitters do not battle dip, they battle themselves and their addiction. When you are sick and tired of answering the call of your addiction and want to take control of your life again once and for all, you have all the tools you need to quit. But knowing you are an addict, a true addict to the drug called nicotine, should tell you that you are an addict for life....so you are making a lifetime decision, but doing it one day at a time.
3. Lots of tough days during your first 100 days. I promise that whatever you are feeling it will change within 10 days. So when you hit a rough patch, know that within 1-1/2 weeks you will be out of it. Also I may be getting ahead of myself but we make a big deal about 100 days on this site....100 days doesn't mean shit, too many guys hit 100 and think they are cured of their addiction. This is a lifetime fight. Celebrate your victories along the way but stay focused for the long haul.
4. When you post roll....realize that you are truly making a promise to quit dipping. Posting will come to matter to you and those in your group. Don't post when you feel up to it, or when you have a free moment....post every day without fail. The earlier the better. It takes me 25 seconds every morning, and I've done it for over 2-1/12 years. It is the lifeblood of this site and it has kept me straight when nothing else did after 28 years of dipping.
You can do this...
-Andy Granger
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Well today I am a full 3 weeks into my quit. I thought I would feel much better than I do by the time I made it to 3 weeks. I didn't realize the hold that this substance has had on my brain. The cravings can be just as strong as they were in the first 3 days but generally they aren't. My battle has become a battle of mind over matter and resisting the temptation of the triggers.
I have only had 2 or 3 fake chews while driving since quitting and this was a big thing for me. I wanted to try to break some triggers as early in the game as possible. Weekends remain my biggest trigger and crave of the week. I stay busy M-F and with warmer weather coming, I will be able to stay even busier. I am going to try to revamp my auto-detailing on the side as a means to stay busy and make some extra money while doing so.
I ordered some Triumph online a few weeks ago after reading some reviews and I must say in my opinion it is much better than smokey mountain. Everything about it feels more real. I must caution you though, if you buy from Triumph, please know that they sell product with nicotine in it, you MUST specify NO NICOTINE when purchasing to ensure that you don't get a mixture pack or product with nicotine in it.
Keep on keepin on!
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Well today I am a full 3 weeks into my quit. I thought I would feel much better than I do by the time I made it to 3 weeks. I didn't realize the hold that this substance has had on my brain. The cravings can be just as strong as they were in the first 3 days but generally they aren't. My battle has become a battle of mind over matter and resisting the temptation of the triggers.
I have only had 2 or 3 fake chews while driving since quitting and this was a big thing for me. I wanted to try to break some triggers as early in the game as possible. Weekends remain my biggest trigger and crave of the week. I stay busy M-F and with warmer weather coming, I will be able to stay even busier. I am going to try to revamp my auto-detailing on the side as a means to stay busy and make some extra money while doing so.
I ordered some Triumph online a few weeks ago after reading some reviews and I must say in my opinion it is much better than smokey mountain. Everything about it feels more real. I must caution you though, if you buy from Triumph, please know that they sell product with nicotine in it, you MUST specify NO NICOTINE when purchasing to ensure that you don't get a mixture pack or product with nicotine in it.
Keep on keepin on!
Cruising right along man. Good shiz.
My 2 bits?... I wouldn't give that Triumph company another dime, dude. They're still dealing in the drug you're breaking free from. You're still feeding the industry.
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Well today I am a full 3 weeks into my quit. I thought I would feel much better than I do by the time I made it to 3 weeks. I didn't realize the hold that this substance has had on my brain. The cravings can be just as strong as they were in the first 3 days but generally they aren't. My battle has become a battle of mind over matter and resisting the temptation of the triggers.
I have only had 2 or 3 fake chews while driving since quitting and this was a big thing for me. I wanted to try to break some triggers as early in the game as possible. Weekends remain my biggest trigger and crave of the week. I stay busy M-F and with warmer weather coming, I will be able to stay even busier. I am going to try to revamp my auto-detailing on the side as a means to stay busy and make some extra money while doing so.
I ordered some Triumph online a few weeks ago after reading some reviews and I must say in my opinion it is much better than smokey mountain. Everything about it feels more real. I must caution you though, if you buy from Triumph, please know that they sell product with nicotine in it, you MUST specify NO NICOTINE when purchasing to ensure that you don't get a mixture pack or product with nicotine in it.
Keep on keepin on!
Cruising right along man. Good shiz.
My 2 bits?... I wouldn't give that Triumph company another dime, dude. They're still dealing in the drug you're breaking free from. You're still feeding the industry.
I agree AppleJack but smokey mountain wasn't sitting right with me and I had tried bac-off in the past too. I read some good reviews about Triumph and figured it was worth a shot. Triumph recommends using their nicotine containing products short term to 'ween' yourself off of the real deal so that you can quit. I quit cold turkey but am using the herbal stuff as a crutch here and there. I'm sure some people keep buying their product with the nicotine in it long term though.
I am hoping to just hold on to what I have for extreme urges and cravings and never need to buy any more but time will tell. I keep it around if I have a couple beers with friends and will keep it around during hunting season but I don't expect to use it regularly.
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Today is day 24 and the day that I find out whether I am a candidate for back surgery or not. I'm pretty stressed out about that. I'm stressed because I got denied for disability insurance so if I do have surgery I'll be off work with no income. I'm stressed because I will have to burn the 3 weeks vacation I have been hoarding for hunting, fishing, and taking a buddy of mine with brain cancer on a vacation as part of an FLMA leave.
I'm going to stay quit because I have no other choice but man this life can sure be a mother sometimes.
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Today is day 24 and the day that I find out whether I am a candidate for back surgery or not. I'm pretty stressed out about that. I'm stressed because I got denied for disability insurance so if I do have surgery I'll be off work with no income. I'm stressed because I will have to burn the 3 weeks vacation I have been hoarding for hunting, fishing, and taking a buddy of mine with brain cancer on a vacation as part of an FLMA leave.
I'm going to stay quit because I have no other choice but man this life can sure be a mother sometimes.
.....and, you are quit. Life will bitch slap you a few more times I'm sure. None of us are immune from it. We are however, quit. Nothing gets in the way of our quit.......
Hang in there. You have my number.
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Hard to believe tomorrow will be day 30 and 1 month. I feel good 80% of the time. The cravings are still occurring fairly often but have lost strength. The anxiety is tapering off but I have been doing my best to avoid highly stressful situations. Last week at work was brutal and was a completely unavoidable stressful situation. I handled it pretty well considering I would have had a chew in for 40 of 48 hours just 30 days ago.
I finally had my second opinion appointment with a different neurosurgeon last week and was given 3 options. The other doctor I saw had given me two... do nothing or spinal fusion. At 24 years old a spinal fusion is not desirable but I was being led to believe it was my only option.
Turns out an option exists that is much less invasive and has 1/3 the recovery time. I am hoping to have some painless days once I have the procedure and am on my way with recovery.
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Hard to believe tomorrow will be day 30 and 1 month. I feel good 80% of the time. The cravings are still occurring fairly often but have lost strength. The anxiety is tapering off but I have been doing my best to avoid highly stressful situations. Last week at work was brutal and was a completely unavoidable stressful situation. I handled it pretty well considering I would have had a chew in for 40 of 48 hours just 30 days ago.
I finally had my second opinion appointment with a different neurosurgeon last week and was given 3 options. The other doctor I saw had given me two... do nothing or spinal fusion. At 24 years old a spinal fusion is not desirable but I was being led to believe it was my only option.
Turns out an option exists that is much less invasive and has 1/3 the recovery time. I am hoping to have some painless days once I have the procedure and am on my way with recovery.
Keep driving bud. I remember having some really shitty days between day 20 and day 50. I felt quit, but my addiction just wouldn't stop. It gets frustrating but, so many of us have fought through...so you can too.
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Hard to believe tomorrow will be day 30 and 1 month. I feel good 80% of the time. The cravings are still occurring fairly often but have lost strength. The anxiety is tapering off but I have been doing my best to avoid highly stressful situations. Last week at work was brutal and was a completely unavoidable stressful situation. I handled it pretty well considering I would have had a chew in for 40 of 48 hours just 30 days ago.
I finally had my second opinion appointment with a different neurosurgeon last week and was given 3 options. The other doctor I saw had given me two... do nothing or spinal fusion. At 24 years old a spinal fusion is not desirable but I was being led to believe it was my only option.
Turns out an option exists that is much less invasive and has 1/3 the recovery time. I am hoping to have some painless days once I have the procedure and am on my way with recovery.
Keep driving bud. I remember having some really shitty days between day 20 and day 50. I felt quit, but my addiction just wouldn't stop. It gets frustrating but, so many of us have fought through...so you can too.
How have I missed this intro?
Great intro! Great story! A few thoughts...
1. Reading this reminds me of how incredibly youthful I am compared to Applejack! Haha
2. Read about want versus need. AJ, pinched, Dagranger, Ginet... Dude we all needed to quit for years, but we didn't want to quit. Need is sort of a subjective term; we need water, food, shelter, Ivanka Trump flat on her back with a feather duster (I digress...). You have to want this in order for it to work. It gets a shitload easier.
3. Dagranger talked about it being a lifelong battle. Those of us that are successful post roll every day and keep our word. We have peeps who watch out for us. We know when their birthdays are. When they buy a new car. When they bang Ivanka hard (I digress again) but you get the idea. Brotherhood + accountability = success. It is easy to fail yourself, as you know. Once you are on a winning team, you don't shit on them. It works.
4. I work with a guy who showed up one day bent in half like a pretzel hobbling along with a cane. He was so loaded on painkillers that his emails were my main entertainment for weeks (other than pictures and thoughts of Ivanka, I digress). Anyway, he has fusion surgery one day a few weeks later and missed one week of work. No cane no therapy. A miracle. I was shocked. Life is too short to be miserable. Do what you have to do bud.
5. I'm over 1,000 days by a bit. I haven't had a craving in at least 6 months. I kind of appreciate them. They remind me of what a fucking bad ass winner I am (more below on that).
Dont quit for your back. Quit because...
It makes you proud of you
It gives you freedom
It is the right thing for you at the right time
It saves you money
It takes away something you are ashamed of/hide at times
It will make you happier
It will make you healthier
But most of all...
It will make you a winner... At something that you have lost at for years.
This is important man. I live in Kansas City. The Royals were a damn joke for decades. You couldn't give the tickets away. Most home games had 2,000 seats full. Last year the city, and quite frankly the country, was electrified at seeing the underdog win, after years of losing. See, we had given up on the possibility of ever seeing greatness after so many years of loss. But on one fateful Tuesday 875,000 of us wore blue and cheered on those bad ass Royals 3 days after they did what we thought was impossible, in a giant parade that we never imagined we would see.
That, my friend, is how I feel every time I post my name and day count. Like I'm 10' tall. If I can do this, if pinched... Ginet... Dagranger.... Applejack... Can do this... I know you can too. One day at a time brother. Winning is so sweet
Worktowin 1,179
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Hard to believe tomorrow will be day 30 and 1 month. I feel good 80% of the time. The cravings are still occurring fairly often but have lost strength. The anxiety is tapering off but I have been doing my best to avoid highly stressful situations. Last week at work was brutal and was a completely unavoidable stressful situation. I handled it pretty well considering I would have had a chew in for 40 of 48 hours just 30 days ago.
I finally had my second opinion appointment with a different neurosurgeon last week and was given 3 options. The other doctor I saw had given me two... do nothing or spinal fusion. At 24 years old a spinal fusion is not desirable but I was being led to believe it was my only option.
Turns out an option exists that is much less invasive and has 1/3 the recovery time. I am hoping to have some painless days once I have the procedure and am on my way with recovery.
Keep driving bud. I remember having some really shitty days between day 20 and day 50. I felt quit, but my addiction just wouldn't stop. It gets frustrating but, so many of us have fought through...so you can too.
How have I missed this intro?
Great intro! Great story! A few thoughts...
1. Reading this reminds me of how incredibly youthful I am compared to Applejack! Haha
2. Read about want versus need. AJ, pinched, Dagranger, Ginet... Dude we all needed to quit for years, but we didn't want to quit. Need is sort of a subjective term; we need water, food, shelter, Ivanka Trump flat on her back with a feather duster (I digress...). You have to want this in order for it to work. It gets a shitload easier.
3. Dagranger talked about it being a lifelong battle. Those of us that are successful post roll every day and keep our word. We have peeps who watch out for us. We know when their birthdays are. When they buy a new car. When they bang Ivanka hard (I digress again) but you get the idea. Brotherhood + accountability = success. It is easy to fail yourself, as you know. Once you are on a winning team, you don't shit on them. It works.
4. I work with a guy who showed up one day bent in half like a pretzel hobbling along with a cane. He was so loaded on painkillers that his emails were my main entertainment for weeks (other than pictures and thoughts of Ivanka, I digress). Anyway, he has fusion surgery one day a few weeks later and missed one week of work. No cane no therapy. A miracle. I was shocked. Life is too short to be miserable. Do what you have to do bud.
5. I'm over 1,000 days by a bit. I haven't had a craving in at least 6 months. I kind of appreciate them. They remind me of what a fucking bad ass winner I am (more below on that).
Dont quit for your back. Quit because...
It makes you proud of you
It gives you freedom
It is the right thing for you at the right time
It saves you money
It takes away something you are ashamed of/hide at times
It will make you happier
It will make you healthier
But most of all...
It will make you a winner... At something that you have lost at for years.
This is important man. I live in Kansas City. The Royals were a damn joke for decades. You couldn't give the tickets away. Most home games had 2,000 seats full. Last year the city, and quite frankly the country, was electrified at seeing the underdog win, after years of losing. See, we had given up on the possibility of ever seeing greatness after so many years of loss. But on one fateful Tuesday 875,000 of us wore blue and cheered on those bad ass Royals 3 days after they did what we thought was impossible, in a giant parade that we never imagined we would see.
That, my friend, is how I feel every time I post my name and day count. Like I'm 10' tall. If I can do this, if pinched... Ginet... Dagranger.... Applejack... Can do this... I know you can too. One day at a time brother. Winning is so sweet
Worktowin 1,179
Appreciate the advice! AppleJack was quick to point out that need will only get me so far and that my want or desire will take me to the finish line (along with the brotherhood here at KTC). My back is what got me thinking about quitting again and my want to be able to do things again without being in pain all the time is my biggest driver. I have to stay quit so that I can stay proud of myself for overcoming this. I have to stay quit so I can stay healthy and live a long happy life with my beautiful wife. I have to stay quit so my future kids don't pick up the habit.
I'm noticing small wins now and I try to always take notice of them because they remind me that what I am doing is worthwhile.
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Hard to believe tomorrow will be day 30 and 1 month. I feel good 80% of the time. The cravings are still occurring fairly often but have lost strength. The anxiety is tapering off but I have been doing my best to avoid highly stressful situations. Last week at work was brutal and was a completely unavoidable stressful situation. I handled it pretty well considering I would have had a chew in for 40 of 48 hours just 30 days ago.
I finally had my second opinion appointment with a different neurosurgeon last week and was given 3 options. The other doctor I saw had given me two... do nothing or spinal fusion. At 24 years old a spinal fusion is not desirable but I was being led to believe it was my only option.
Turns out an option exists that is much less invasive and has 1/3 the recovery time. I am hoping to have some painless days once I have the procedure and am on my way with recovery.
Keep driving bud. I remember having some really shitty days between day 20 and day 50. I felt quit, but my addiction just wouldn't stop. It gets frustrating but, so many of us have fought through...so you can too.
How have I missed this intro?
Great intro! Great story! A few thoughts...
1. Reading this reminds me of how incredibly youthful I am compared to Applejack! Haha
2. Read about want versus need. AJ, pinched, Dagranger, Ginet... Dude we all needed to quit for years, but we didn't want to quit. Need is sort of a subjective term; we need water, food, shelter, Ivanka Trump flat on her back with a feather duster (I digress...). You have to want this in order for it to work. It gets a shitload easier.
3. Dagranger talked about it being a lifelong battle. Those of us that are successful post roll every day and keep our word. We have peeps who watch out for us. We know when their birthdays are. When they buy a new car. When they bang Ivanka hard (I digress again) but you get the idea. Brotherhood + accountability = success. It is easy to fail yourself, as you know. Once you are on a winning team, you don't shit on them. It works.
4. I work with a guy who showed up one day bent in half like a pretzel hobbling along with a cane. He was so loaded on painkillers that his emails were my main entertainment for weeks (other than pictures and thoughts of Ivanka, I digress). Anyway, he has fusion surgery one day a few weeks later and missed one week of work. No cane no therapy. A miracle. I was shocked. Life is too short to be miserable. Do what you have to do bud.
5. I'm over 1,000 days by a bit. I haven't had a craving in at least 6 months. I kind of appreciate them. They remind me of what a fucking bad ass winner I am (more below on that).
Dont quit for your back. Quit because...
It makes you proud of you
It gives you freedom
It is the right thing for you at the right time
It saves you money
It takes away something you are ashamed of/hide at times
It will make you happier
It will make you healthier
But most of all...
It will make you a winner... At something that you have lost at for years.
This is important man. I live in Kansas City. The Royals were a damn joke for decades. You couldn't give the tickets away. Most home games had 2,000 seats full. Last year the city, and quite frankly the country, was electrified at seeing the underdog win, after years of losing. See, we had given up on the possibility of ever seeing greatness after so many years of loss. But on one fateful Tuesday 875,000 of us wore blue and cheered on those bad ass Royals 3 days after they did what we thought was impossible, in a giant parade that we never imagined we would see.
That, my friend, is how I feel every time I post my name and day count. Like I'm 10' tall. If I can do this, if pinched... Ginet... Dagranger.... Applejack... Can do this... I know you can too. One day at a time brother. Winning is so sweet
Worktowin 1,179
Appreciate the advice! AppleJack was quick to point out that need will only get me so far and that my want or desire will take me to the finish line (along with the brotherhood here at KTC). My back is what got me thinking about quitting again and my want to be able to do things again without being in pain all the time is my biggest driver. I have to stay quit so that I can stay proud of myself for overcoming this. I have to stay quit so I can stay healthy and live a long happy life with my beautiful wife. I have to stay quit so my future kids don't pick up the habit.
I'm noticing small wins now and I try to always take notice of them because they remind me that what I am doing is worthwhile.
Love this post, bro!
All big things are really a myriad of small things coming together. Freedom isn't something that just happens... it's earned. It's hundred/thousands of little wins. Each of which you should celebrate because each one is creating the new picture of your freedom. First day of work without dip... win. First weekend alone without dip... win. First trip to the store without buying dip... win.
On and on.
Keep racking them up, man...
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Had my first dream about snuff last night. Holy smokes can those suckers feel real. I woke up feeling like trash, thinking I had failed to keep my promise and that I had let myself down. It took 35 days for a dream to sneak it's way in to my sub-conscience. Hopefully they are few and far between because I'm still feeling kinda funky.
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Had my first dream about snuff last night. Holy smokes can those suckers feel real. I woke up feeling like trash, thinking I had failed to keep my promise and that I had let myself down. It took 35 days for a dream to sneak it's way in to my sub-conscience. Hopefully they are few and far between because I'm still feeling kinda funky.
Reminder of what losing felt like...
All part of the rewiring. Bright days ahead.
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Had my first dream about snuff last night. Holy smokes can those suckers feel real. I woke up feeling like trash, thinking I had failed to keep my promise and that I had let myself down. It took 35 days for a dream to sneak it's way in to my sub-conscience. Hopefully they are few and far between because I'm still feeling kinda funky.
The dip dream is such a rite of passage with quitting. I often wonder if I would have any dip dreams without KTC. Waking up thinking you've let down thousands of other quitters definitely leaves a mark. Rub some dirt on it and get back to it.
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Tomorrow's the day. Getting up bright and early to head to the hospital for surgery. The anxiety I have now makes the quitting anxiety seem like it was a joke.
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Tomorrow's the day. Getting up bright and early to head to the hospital for surgery. The anxiety I have now makes the quitting anxiety seem like it was a joke.
You will feel so much better dude.
Prayers with you.
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Tomorrow's the day. Getting up bright and early to head to the hospital for surgery. The anxiety I have now makes the quitting anxiety seem like it was a joke.
You will feel so much better dude.
Prayers with you.
Here is to a speedy recovery!!
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Tomorrow's the day. Getting up bright and early to head to the hospital for surgery. The anxiety I have now makes the quitting anxiety seem like it was a joke.
You will feel so much better dude.
Prayers with you.
Here is to a speedy recovery!!
Today's the day! A whole new Nick!
Good luck today!
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Tomorrow's the day. Getting up bright and early to head to the hospital for surgery. The anxiety I have now makes the quitting anxiety seem like it was a joke.
You will feel so much better dude.
Prayers with you.
Here is to a speedy recovery!!
Today's the day! A whole new Nick!
Good luck today!
Brother hope today was a big step forward!
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Tomorrow's the day. Getting up bright and early to head to the hospital for surgery. The anxiety I have now makes the quitting anxiety seem like it was a joke.
You will feel so much better dude.
Prayers with you.
Here is to a speedy recovery!!
Today's the day! A whole new Nick!
Good luck today!
Brother hope today was a big step forward!
Praying for quick recovery Nick.
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Tuesday will be two weeks post surgery and things are going pretty well all things considered. I find myself fantasizing the "good times" I used to have with ol copenhagen from time to time but I know that this is just my brain re-training itself. I am enjoying the break from work (still have 4 weeks before I can go back) but I do get a bit of cabin fever from time to time. At least the days are getting longer and hopefully nice weather is on the way. Thank you all for the well wishes, I have not been as active on the site since surgery but now that I am getting around a little better I'm trying to get back.
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Tuesday will be two weeks post surgery and things are going pretty well all things considered. I find myself fantasizing the "good times" I used to have with ol copenhagen from time to time but I know that this is just my brain re-training itself. I am enjoying the break from work (still have 4 weeks before I can go back) but I do get a bit of cabin fever from time to time. At least the days are getting longer and hopefully nice weather is on the way. Thank you all for the well wishes, I have not been as active on the site since surgery but now that I am getting around a little better I'm trying to get back.
Good to hear! Keep the faith.
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Tuesday will be two weeks post surgery and things are going pretty well all things considered. I find myself fantasizing the "good times" I used to have with ol copenhagen from time to time but I know that this is just my brain re-training itself. I am enjoying the break from work (still have 4 weeks before I can go back) but I do get a bit of cabin fever from time to time. At least the days are getting longer and hopefully nice weather is on the way. Thank you all for the well wishes, I have not been as active on the site since surgery but now that I am getting around a little better I'm trying to get back.
Good to hear! Keep the faith.
A whole new granger on the way!
An idle mind is the devils workshop. Hope you are staying busy as you heal - it will help keep those craves at bay. You've come a long way. Between the new back and drug free mind, you'll be a whole new you soon.
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Tuesday will be two weeks post surgery and things are going pretty well all things considered. I find myself fantasizing the "good times" I used to have with ol copenhagen from time to time but I know that this is just my brain re-training itself. I am enjoying the break from work (still have 4 weeks before I can go back) but I do get a bit of cabin fever from time to time. At least the days are getting longer and hopefully nice weather is on the way. Thank you all for the well wishes, I have not been as active on the site since surgery but now that I am getting around a little better I'm trying to get back.
Good to hear! Keep the faith.
A whole new granger on the way!
An idle mind is the devils workshop. Hope you are staying busy as you heal - it will help keep those craves at bay. You've come a long way. Between the new back and drug free mind, you'll be a whole new you soon.
Trying to stay busy but I am not allowed to do much so it gets difficult. People were in and out helping me for the last two weeks but I'm spending a lot more time on my own now that I can get around a little better. I thought being quit for 40+ days before surgery would make it super easy to keep my mind off the shit while off work for 6 weeks but sometimes 50+ days feels more like day 5. The craves don't have the duration they did at 5 days but sometimes the intensity is still there.
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100 DAYS!!! ONE HUNDRED DAYS!!!
Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me, been hard on me, and told me the truth. I am so proud today. I know it's not the end of the line but it's the first of many milestones and worthy of a celebration!
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100 DAYS!!! ONE HUNDRED DAYS!!!
Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me, been hard on me, and told me the truth. I am so proud today. I know it's not the end of the line but it's the first of many milestones and worthy of a celebration!
Nice job! Congrats my friend.
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100 DAYS!!! ONE HUNDRED DAYS!!!
Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me, been hard on me, and told me the truth. I am so proud today. I know it's not the end of the line but it's the first of many milestones and worthy of a celebration!
Nice job! Congrats my friend.
Keep it up! Welcome to the 1st floor!
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100 DAYS!!! ONE HUNDRED DAYS!!!
Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me, been hard on me, and told me the truth. I am so proud today. I know it's not the end of the line but it's the first of many milestones and worthy of a celebration!
Nice job! Congrats my friend.
Keep it up! Welcome to the 1st floor!
Today you should feel 10' tall! Well done!!!
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100 DAYS!!! ONE HUNDRED DAYS!!!
Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me, been hard on me, and told me the truth. I am so proud today. I know it's not the end of the line but it's the first of many milestones and worthy of a celebration!
Nice job! Congrats my friend.
Keep it up! Welcome to the 1st floor!
Today you should feel 10' tall! Well done!!!
Congrats. 100 days is for real. But stay with what got you to 100 days. Posting roll and being accountable.
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Congrats on 100!