KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: CO_tp on December 13, 2014, 12:31:00 AM
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"Dom" as we liked to call him died about a month after he turned 32. He was a guy I grew up with. We competed against each other in basketball and baseball growing up in a small town. We weren't close friends, but we had a bond in dip. We grew apart after college, but I would see him back home at Thanksgiving and summer breaks. We bummed numerous dips from each other over the years. He loved Kodiak, I was always Skoal man.
He died a quick and painful death. He was diagnosed with Stage IV esophageal cancer 6 months prior. His wife was 2 months pregnant at the time and they had an 1 year old girl. He had in-operable, widely metastatic disease. Towards the last couple of months, his spine collapsed and he required a brace. He couldn't walk. I couldn't bring myself to see him in that condition. He didn't live long enough to see his second child born.
I wish I could tell you that this was a recent event. In happened in 2008. I was quit at that time, but somehow, I ended up back on the can shortly thereafter. I somehow have convinced myself that this couldn't happen to me. The fact that a friend of mine died from dip and I continue to do it is repulsive, embarrassing and downright inexpiable. Like you, the can has a stranglehold on me...
Otherwise, my story is like all of yours. First dip was at 11 years old. Skoal Mint Bandits. I vomited. Some of my friends never tried it again, but for some reason I was determined to keep going. I'm sure I thought it was a cool thing to do. It continued through high school, then college, and continued on. Sure there were attempts and even successes at quitting, but in reality it has been a steady part of my life for 25 years.
I was a hider. Most people didn't know I chewed. However, the never-ending guilt of hiding this from everyone is why I'm here. I want to experience life without dip. No more pinches, not a one. Never again.
Dom didn't get a chance to live without dip and it took his life at 32...I'm determined to get this shit out of my life for good.
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"Dom" as we liked to call him died about a month after he turned 32. He was a guy I grew up with. We competed against each other in basketball and baseball growing up in a small town. We weren't close friends, but we had a bond in dip. We grew apart after college, but I would see him back home at Thanksgiving and summer breaks. We bummed numerous dips from each other over the years. He loved Kodiak, I was always Skoal man.
He died a quick and painful death. He was diagnosed with Stage IV esophageal cancer 6 months prior. His wife was 2 months pregnant at the time and they had an 1 year old girl. He had in-operable, widely metastatic disease. Towards the last couple of months, his spine collapsed and he required a brace. He couldn't walk. I couldn't bring myself to see him in that condition. He didn't live long enough to see his second child born.
I wish I could tell you that this was a recent event. In happened in 2008. I was quit at that time, but somehow, I ended up back on the can shortly thereafter. I somehow have convinced myself that this couldn't happen to me. The fact that a friend of mine died from dip and I continue to do it is repulsive, embarrassing and downright inexpiable. Like you, the can has a stranglehold on me...
Otherwise, my story is like all of yours. First dip was at 11 years old. Skoal Mint Bandits. I vomited. Some of my friends never tried it again, but for some reason I was determined to keep going. I'm sure I thought it was a cool thing to do. It continued through high school, then college, and continued on. Sure there were attempts and even successes at quitting, but in reality it has been a steady part of my life for 25 years.
I was a hider. Most people didn't know I chewed. However, the never-ending guilt of hiding this from everyone is why I'm here. I want to experience life without dip. No more pinches, not a one. Never again.
Dom didn't get a chance to live without dip and it took his life at 32...I'm determined to get this shit out of my life for good.
That is too damn young to go. YOU my friend have come to the right place to quit as long as it is for you and you only. This place is amazing if you let it be. Posting Roll and building your own personal network in here makes it work. Roll is sacred and taken very seriously. It is your promise to NOT use any nicotine for the day. That is easy. We Post Roll Daily and make that promise to ourselves and our brothers and sisters in here. Read up on the Welcome Center and learn how to post if you haven't already done so. Other than that. Sit back, enjoy the suck, and be quit with the rest of us.
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You made a great decision coming here CO. Your story about Dom was tragic and it blew me away when I read this was six years ago. Your reasoning told you to stop dipping then and it appears that you suceeded for a while. But that twisted logic that made you rationalize starting up again is the nicotine addiction that you can fight and win with the help of the community here at KTC. We call that addiction the nic bitch, and she will use any sneaky or deceitful way to try and break down your resolve. But you can do it. You already had a bad ass quitter Raider step up and support you.
One day at a time. Quit with you.
CJ
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"Dom" as we liked to call him died about a month after he turned 32. He was a guy I grew up with. We competed against each other in basketball and baseball growing up in a small town. We weren't close friends, but we had a bond in dip. We grew apart after college, but I would see him back home at Thanksgiving and summer breaks. We bummed numerous dips from each other over the years. He loved Kodiak, I was always Skoal man.
He died a quick and painful death. He was diagnosed with Stage IV esophageal cancer 6 months prior. His wife was 2 months pregnant at the time and they had an 1 year old girl. He had in-operable, widely metastatic disease. Towards the last couple of months, his spine collapsed and he required a brace. He couldn't walk. I couldn't bring myself to see him in that condition. He didn't live long enough to see his second child born.
I wish I could tell you that this was a recent event. In happened in 2008. I was quit at that time, but somehow, I ended up back on the can shortly thereafter. I somehow have convinced myself that this couldn't happen to me. The fact that a friend of mine died from dip and I continue to do it is repulsive, embarrassing and downright inexpiable. Like you, the can has a stranglehold on me...
Otherwise, my story is like all of yours. First dip was at 11 years old. Skoal Mint Bandits. I vomited. Some of my friends never tried it again, but for some reason I was determined to keep going. I'm sure I thought it was a cool thing to do. It continued through high school, then college, and continued on. Sure there were attempts and even successes at quitting, but in reality it has been a steady part of my life for 25 years.
I was a hider. Most people didn't know I chewed. However, the never-ending guilt of hiding this from everyone is why I'm here. I want to experience life without dip. No more pinches, not a one. Never again.
Dom didn't get a chance to live without dip and it took his life at 32...I'm determined to get this shit out of my life for good.
That is too damn young to go. YOU my friend have come to the right place to quit as long as it is for you and you only. This place is amazing if you let it be. Posting Roll and building your own personal network in here makes it work. Roll is sacred and taken very seriously. It is your promise to NOT use any nicotine for the day. That is easy. We Post Roll Daily and make that promise to ourselves and our brothers and sisters in here. Read up on the Welcome Center and learn how to post if you haven't already done so. Other than that. Sit back, enjoy the suck, and be quit with the rest of us.
If you truly want to be quit then follow the Ktc path. Do everything by the letter. Read the whole forum and post every day. Sorry about your friend. Welcome to the best place to quit.
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"Dom" as we liked to call him died about a month after he turned 32. He was a guy I grew up with. We competed against each other in basketball and baseball growing up in a small town. We weren't close friends, but we had a bond in dip. We grew apart after college, but I would see him back home at Thanksgiving and summer breaks. We bummed numerous dips from each other over the years. He loved Kodiak, I was always Skoal man.
He died a quick and painful death. He was diagnosed with Stage IV esophageal cancer 6 months prior. His wife was 2 months pregnant at the time and they had an 1 year old girl. He had in-operable, widely metastatic disease. Towards the last couple of months, his spine collapsed and he required a brace. He couldn't walk. I couldn't bring myself to see him in that condition. He didn't live long enough to see his second child born.
I wish I could tell you that this was a recent event. In happened in 2008. I was quit at that time, but somehow, I ended up back on the can shortly thereafter. I somehow have convinced myself that this couldn't happen to me. The fact that a friend of mine died from dip and I continue to do it is repulsive, embarrassing and downright inexpiable. Like you, the can has a stranglehold on me...
Otherwise, my story is like all of yours. First dip was at 11 years old. Skoal Mint Bandits. I vomited. Some of my friends never tried it again, but for some reason I was determined to keep going. I'm sure I thought it was a cool thing to do. It continued through high school, then college, and continued on. Sure there were attempts and even successes at quitting, but in reality it has been a steady part of my life for 25 years.
I was a hider. Most people didn't know I chewed. However, the never-ending guilt of hiding this from everyone is why I'm here. I want to experience life without dip. No more pinches, not a one. Never again.
Dom didn't get a chance to live without dip and it took his life at 32...I'm determined to get this shit out of my life for good.
That is too damn young to go. YOU my friend have come to the right place to quit as long as it is for you and you only. This place is amazing if you let it be. Posting Roll and building your own personal network in here makes it work. Roll is sacred and taken very seriously. It is your promise to NOT use any nicotine for the day. That is easy. We Post Roll Daily and make that promise to ourselves and our brothers and sisters in here. Read up on the Welcome Center and learn how to post if you haven't already done so. Other than that. Sit back, enjoy the suck, and be quit with the rest of us.
If you truly want to be quit then follow the Ktc path. Do everything by the letter. Read the whole forum and post every day. Sorry about your friend. Welcome to the best place to quit.
CO,
Are you quit right now or are you thinking about it? Either way, you know what needs to be done. We are a nicotine free site, no patches, nic gum or nicotine in any form. Get to the welcome center section here and read all you can, set your resolve and post your day one roll. We take this one day at a time (ODAAT). You make yourself and your quit group a promise for today, you hold yourself accountable to your word today, tomorrow you repeat. Is it easy or fun, hell no. However, it gets better quick and the daily promises add up. Another great resource is the Chat Room. Head over there to chat live with some great quitters on this site. If you want to be nic free, you can do it on this site cold turkey and ODAAT! Make it happen!
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You need to make your way over to March (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/10761232/30/?x=90) and post a day 1. Toss it and get your name on roll which is your daily promise not to use today. We keep it simple around here, one day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow. Stay clean today.
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Good to see you posted roll today in March. Great decision. You got this ODAAT!
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Good to see you on roll, CO_tp. Just as you see a lot of yourself in us, we see a lot of our former selves in you.
You can absolutely do this, but it sounds like you already know that. You also know that nicotine is a ruthless, cunning bitch and she will not extricate herself from your situation without a long, tough fight. Embrace the fight. It's the last dance you're ever going to do with her, right?
You also need to post roll first thing. Every day. No excuses, no exceptions. Posting roll is a privilege and an honor. In time you will understand why.
The same goes for reaching out to your quit brothers in March as well as other vets on the site. Start swapping digits today so you can begin building your support network. Shoot me a PM and I'd be more than happy to give you mine. This will be a vital component of your quit, so the sooner you start building it, the better. Again, in time you will understand why.
Finally, by all accounts you sound like you're done today. I believe you that you're done today. I've also seen dozens of other guys post up similar sentiments, only to disappear back to the clutches of their addiction within a few weeks. I'm not trying to be harsh with you, but rather offer a cold dose of reality that you are not special and a challenge to you to put everything you have behind your quit. 110% all in. No good option should be left on the table.
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Good to see you on roll, CO_tp. Just as you see a lot of yourself in us, we see a lot of our former selves in you.
You can absolutely do this, but it sounds like you already know that. You also know that nicotine is a ruthless, cunning bitch and she will not extricate herself from your situation without a long, tough fight. Embrace the fight. It's the last dance you're ever going to do with her, right?
You also need to post roll first thing. Every day. No excuses, no exceptions. Posting roll is a privilege and an honor. In time you will understand why.
The same goes for reaching out to your quit brothers in March as well as other vets on the site. Start swapping digits today so you can begin building your support network. Shoot me a PM and I'd be more than happy to give you mine. This will be a vital component of your quit, so the sooner you start building it, the better. Again, in time you will understand why.
Finally, by all accounts you sound like you're done today. I believe you that you're done today. I've also seen dozens of other guys post up similar sentiments, only to disappear back to the clutches of their addiction within a few weeks. I'm not trying to be harsh with you, but rather offer a cold dose of reality that you are not special and a challenge to you to put everything you have behind your quit. 110% all in. No good option should be left on the table.
Welcome, CO. Now lets start taking our lives back from this mutherfucking addiction!
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Powerful intro. You'll get a lot of looks especially with that intro title because we all know, too well, what the end game is had we continued down the path we were on. All of us here are fortunate that we haven't fallen victim like your friend did.
Two things
1) follow and live the advice these other badass quitters have outlined for you. Make it a way of life and your creed. Start with that, i.e. posting roll, and the quit will build from there
2) you mention that the can has a stranglehold on all of us; I full heartedly disagree. We are addicts, yes; and we will always be addicts. But we are quit and we are free from that can. I continue to build my quit so that I have the stranglehold on that bitch. That can has nothing on me or any of these studs who have posted. Why, because post roll, we promise, and we quit like fuck. That bitch can bring her best game and I'll fucking say no to her every single time - for today. I posted roll today, I made my promise, and I will win today at all costs...because I posted roll. See how this works. These guys all have my back, should I need to call in the cavalry for back-up. They'll make damn sure I say No today.
This is how we quit. I think...correction, I know you want to be a part of this.
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Thanks fellas...I'm day 2 now. The fog is real dense. Thank you for reaching out and posting, taking the time and offering advice. Today I am quit. I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.
For anyone interested, check out the photos of "Dom". http://friendsofdominic.tripod.com/ (http://friendsofdominic.tripod.com/)
Now, see what the dip did to him:
http://s35.photobucket.com/user/durdana ... 3.jpg.html (http://s35.photobucket.com/user/durdanarama/media/DomsWebsite08/DSC00963.jpg.html)
When the urge has been hitting me all morning long, I've been thinking of these photos. I'm sharing this with the group b/c I hope someone else out there battling the nic bitch needs a little reinforcement. Dom is looking down with approval. His heart was a big and always willing to help.
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I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend. I am glad you realize you are an addict, because that was a hurdle I had a hard time coming to grips with. Knowing you are an addict, posting roll, and never stuffing worm shit in your mouth again makes you a quitter today. PM for a number if you want, I remember Day 2 and 3 like it was yesterday.
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Sorry about your buddy Dom and his family. I read what you wrote and clicked on both links to Doms before and after. You can be sure that people have been strengthened by what you have brought here to the KTC table. I know you are struggling a day 2 but it's a 2 way street. You are glad to be here and we are glad you are here.
This time will be different than the other times you stopped dipping. This time you have people in the trenches with you at all times. Just find people you have something in common with and get people's numbers. Trust me, it may sound funny (I thought so at first) but it works. Everything that the good people at KTC put together for us addicts works.
Just read as much as you can on here. Read all the Words of Wisdom. All that stuff makes sense to us as we read it. We all have the same basic story. I pray that you can have the strength to get through the rest of the weekend. You will feel better by this time next week for sure. Again, welcome to KTC and thanks for sharing your story with us. Your story has strengthened many quits already.
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So sorry about Dom... too many have been taken from us by tobacco... My belated condolences, friend.
Nicotine can only own you if you give your permission. Deny it permission one day at a time.
Post roll
honor that promise
repeat.
you can do this.
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That's some strong quit medicine in your intro CO- - I don't know how long you have been using but use this to fuel your quit. I, like alot of others here, have dipped for 3 decades or longer and using the KTC method, flat out works. Proud to quit with you.
Old ES
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You came to the right place. Post roll and quit. It's really easy to take your freedom back if you dive in and drink the kool aid.
I dove in 378 days ago. Fuck that I did a canon ball. Now I'm quit like fuck.
If you need a number pm me. If not me start reaching out to the quitters in your month. They will get you through the suck.
Quit on bro
PB
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I also posted this in March preHOF...let me know your true, deep down thoughts.
I'm Real foggy and angry today. While I'm sitting here staring at this computer screen for hours and hours on end, my mind continues to play tricks on me. What if I knew I was going to die in a couple of months, would I hop into my truck and pick up tin right now? Seriously, what if I get diagnosed with a brain tumor that cannot be cured or slowed down. I have maximum 3 months to live....
Today, right now, I might think about it long and hard before picking up a tin. However, 96 hrs ago, you bet your ass I'd be at the 7/11 already. Something is happening, or maybe its the fog, but I hate that old nic bitch as each minute passes.
If I knew I were going to die soon, I wouldn't want to give that bitch any more of my time. Now trying heroin or cocaine in this scenario is definitely worth some thought...
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Keep it going! The harder it is now, the bigger the victory. The addiction is leading you to scenarios to look for weaknesses in your resolve. The way to beat that is keep stacking up little victories- day by day, hour by hour, or even minute by minute if necessary.
Keep learning all you can about the addiction by reading all you can - even others' intros. And start building a network of fellow quitters for your own support and accountability. That will make all the difference in the world over the long haul.
I'm glad I came across your intro here and am quitting with you today CO.
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I also posted this in March preHOF...let me know your true, deep down thoughts.
I'm Real foggy and angry today. While I'm sitting here staring at this computer screen for hours and hours on end, my mind continues to play tricks on me. What if I knew I was going to die in a couple of months, would I hop into my truck and pick up tin right now? Seriously, what if I get diagnosed with a brain tumor that cannot be cured or slowed down. I have maximum 3 months to live....
Today, right now, I might think about it long and hard before picking up a tin. However, 96 hrs ago, you bet your ass I'd be at the 7/11 already. Something is happening, or maybe its the fog, but I hate that old nic bitch as each minute passes.
If I knew I were going to die soon, I wouldn't want to give that bitch any more of my time. Now trying heroin or cocaine in this scenario is definitely worth some thought...
Switch heroin to Asian and cocaine to hooker, that makes more sense. Keep powering along bro, it gets easier ... and so much better. Keep reaching for the freedom, it's there for your taking!
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Those before and after photos are unreal. Still hard to believe that shitty little can caused that. By t I know its true. Thanks for posting them and congrats on day 2!
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Thanks for joining the site, and quitting with us. Your story has strengthen my quit.
Stay strong, the psychological effects of quitting are surprisingly challenging, build a network of support and stay quit at all cost.
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I also posted this in March preHOF...let me know your true, deep down thoughts.
I'm Real foggy and angry today. While I'm sitting here staring at this computer screen for hours and hours on end, my mind continues to play tricks on me. What if I knew I was going to die in a couple of months, would I hop into my truck and pick up tin right now? Seriously, what if I get diagnosed with a brain tumor that cannot be cured or slowed down. I have maximum 3 months to live....
Today, right now, I might think about it long and hard before picking up a tin. However, 96 hrs ago, you bet your ass I'd be at the 7/11 already. Something is happening, or maybe its the fog, but I hate that old nic bitch as each minute passes.
If I knew I were going to die soon, I wouldn't want to give that bitch any more of my time. Now trying heroin or cocaine in this scenario is definitely worth some thought...
Switch heroin to Asian and cocaine to hooker, that makes more sense. Keep powering along bro, it gets easier ... and so much better. Keep reaching for the freedom, it's there for your taking!
Don't switch at all, keep all four things, but STAY QUIT
Sounds like you're asking yourself under what conditions dipping/caving would be acceptable. Keep this question in mind as you read through all the quit on here, you'll know the answer all by yourself from within in no time.
The scenario I described in March (caver is granted honorary quit in the moment of death because he sacrificed himself saving a baby's life) does not apply to your question, except to add a general Don't Cave flavor.
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Stick with it CO_tp, It sucks now and it will always suck but it gets better each day. You can Quit!
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Stick with it CO_tp, It sucks now and it will always suck but it gets better each day. You can Quit!
Definitely stick with it. Let me clarify something for both of you though. IT WILL NOT ALWAYS SUCK. IT WILL GET AWESOME.
Stay focused. One day at a time.
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Stick with it CO_tp, It sucks now and it will always suck but it gets better each day. You can Quit!
Definitely stick with it. Let me clarify something for both of you though. IT WILL NOT ALWAYS SUCK. IT WILL GET AWESOME.
Stay focused. One day at a time.
Exactly what Claws said. In the beginning it was the hope that things would stop sucking someday that got me thru the rough times. If I had thought it would always suck I never could have quit. It does get AWESOME.