KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: master gator on July 14, 2010, 08:30:00 AM
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I didn't try it to be cool or from peer pressure, I did it because I am a cowboy and thats what we do. Growing up in a large family of cowboys, drinking and chewing was just a part of life. I have been sober for 2 years now, but that was a cake walk compared to quitting this bitch. I have eaten a can of cope a day for the last 16 years. It has taken me those 16 years to realize that cowboys don't have to eat that stupid shit, without it I am still a cowboy. I am 8 days into my quit. The fog has lifted and I am feeling better physically, but the mind games are killing me. There is someone else in my head telling me that I need it, will die without it, can't do anything without, go get it. I am talking to myself like a damn crazy person, constantly giving myself pep talks. My wife tells me, "you will be fine, its only in your head", well no shit. She does however give me great motivation. She asked me that if I lose my tongue to cancer, how am I going to eat her you know what? That should be enough motivation for any straight man to quit. I have tried to quit maybe 3 times all for the wrong reasons. My mom, girlfriend, wife, everyone else wanted me to. Well guess what that didn't work. I did not know chew was so dangerous. All of the men in my life chew, but I have never heard of anyone getting sick from it. I thought that was only for smokers. I have seen the pictures and read the stories on this site, and now I can say that this is some bad shit that we have been playing with. I can now say that I quit because I don't want to fucking die. I don't want my head to be butchered like a hog, I don't want my 2 baby girls to be scared of daddy because he looks like a freak, and I don't want to lose my tongue and not be able to eat my wife's you know what. Time to go cut hay. Sitting on the tractor all day without copenhagen is going to be a bitch, but I will live because I quit for the right reason.
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Welcome to the site. Sounds like you are approaching this in the right mind set. Take it day by day. Post your promise and keep your word. I will not chew today. Today I am a quiter. Don't let that voice in your head confuse you, we all have to learn to drive thru it. NEVER take that 1 last dip or I can handle it 1 time dip again. Quit, post, come back tomorrow and quit and post. Keep your word and use the connections here if you need to talk/text or vent.
Have a great quit today and read everything you can on this site
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I didn't try it to be cool or from peer pressure, I did it because I am a cowboy and thats what we do. Growing up in a large family of cowboys, drinking and chewing was just a part of life. I have been sober for 2 years now, but that was a cake walk compared to quitting this bitch. I have eaten a can of cope a day for the last 16 years. It has taken me those 16 years to realize that cowboys don't have to eat that stupid shit, without it I am still a cowboy. I am 8 days into my quit. The fog has lifted and I am feeling better physically, but the mind games are killing me. There is someone else in my head telling me that I need it, will die without it, can't do anything without, go get it. I am talking to myself like a damn crazy person, constantly giving myself pep talks. My wife tells me, "you will be fine, its only in your head", well no shit. She does however give me great motivation. She asked me that if I lose my tongue to cancer, how am I going to eat her you know what? That should be enough motivation for any straight man to quit. I have tried to quit maybe 3 times all for the wrong reasons. My mom, girlfriend, wife, everyone else wanted me to. Well guess what that didn't work. I did not know chew was so dangerous. All of the men in my life chew, but I have never heard of anyone getting sick from it. I thought that was only for smokers. I have seen the pictures and read the stories on this site, and now I can say that this is some bad shit that we have been playing with. I can now say that I quit because I don't want to fucking die. I don't want my head to be butchered like a hog, I don't want my 2 baby girls to be scared of daddy because he looks like a freak, and I don't want to lose my tongue and not be able to eat my wife's you know what. Time to go cut hay. Sitting on the tractor all day without copenhagen is going to be a bitch, but I will live because I quit for the right reason.
Congrats on the best decision of your life. Now go post roll (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50) in your October Quit Group. This is a promise to keep that shit out of your mouth today. Repeat every day and be a man of your word. Send me a message if you need any help.
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Yep, you have a great start and a great attitude. Using this site works so post roll in Oct and read everything you can. There is usually guys in chat in the evening so stop by.
It is all in your head now but the mind games claim the most victims in the quit game.
Let us know how we can help
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I am on day three, and your words are really motivating today. thank you! and if you need anything, I'm in the October quit group, you can always PM me for a number.
Benny
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"It has taken me those 16 years to realize that cowboys don't have to eat that stupid shit, without it I am still a cowboy".
That is exactly how cowboys get shit in thier mustaches. Looking for love in all the wrong places.
"All of the men in my life chew, but I have never heard of anyone getting sick from it".
You will meet many here that do just fine without it as shall you.
"I can now say that I quit because I don't want to fucking die".
Don't Quit now and you will - Sooner than later.
"Sitting on the tractor all day without copenhagen is going to be a bitch, but I will live because I quit for the right reason".
I promise the fucking tractor runs just fine and the hay cuts evenly without that shit in your face - I know.
Do you choose life? It is up to you.
We can led you to water, even push your ass in, but ultimately it is your choice to sink or swim. ( need a life vest) ?
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Welcome.
You can do this.
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I am finally off the damn tractor and your right, it ran just fine without copenhagen. I ate a shit load of herbal snuff and orbit gum, but I made it another day. Thanks for the support, you are the only guys that I could find that understand my struggle to take my life back. I did not understand the control it had on every aspect of my life, it was as second nature as eating, sleeping, and shitting. Couldn't accomplish one damn thing without worm shit in my mouth, but now I see the light. Tomorrow I will face the tractor again, and I will be free.
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Nice job man. That kicks ass!
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One day at a time Cowboy and you can whip this thing . Your wife , unless she is a nicotine addict can't truly understand what your dealing with. However,this fun house freak show full of formerly nicotine soaked nut jobs does get it. We've been there.
Follow this link to the Tom and Jenny Kern story- Tom had daughters like me and like you. Read the story, then read the copied piece below. The damage this shit can cause is untold, the possibility of doing this to your love ones is reason enough to quit. Don't play the odds, if your the one who gets it the odds dont matter much.
http://www.killthecan.org/facts/jennykern.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/facts/jennykern.asp)
http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/tomkern/ (http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/tomkern/)
Journal
Monday, May 10, 2010 12:10 AM CDT
I'm sliding backwards. I have been angry since Christmas because life is either at a standstill or going backwards. During the last 5 years I felt I was gradually doing better. I would have dips of depression and sadness, but then I would come back. However, the last 6 months have had fewer days of happiness than sadness. I'm angry that I'm not on that gradual incline towards happiness. I want to enjoy life, but there is a cloud hanging over me at all times. For the first time, I am actually contemplating an anti-depressant. I recently told a friend that I still cry every day - sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. She said, "Still, after all this time?" It won't ever go away, but I thought it would continually get better.
I'm sure part of it has to do with Alexa graduating. Her hockey team made it to state for the second year in a row. In the past two years, the best games I have seen the team play have been the section championship games at Gustavus (where Tom and I went to college). Tom's work-study job was at the hockey rink. Last year, they beat Mankato West (Tom's high school) to go to state. I told Alexa that Dad had to be there because Hutch was playing Mankato West at Gustavus - how could he NOT be there!
Alexa has her last choir concert in a couple of weeks. I know I will cry. They sing a goodbye song for the seniors as we watch a slide show of their baby pictures and senior pictures.
We are planning to have Tom's high school and college friends come at the end of her graduation party to tell stories about him for the kids. We all love to here stories about him. It's hard to celebrate when he isn't here to celebrate with us. I know graduation day will be hard - watching her, knowing that she is missing him.
We recently had to junk Tom's Ranger. It was too old and needed too many repairs. Mackenzie and I had the hardest time parting with it. She drove it right after Tom died until she had Kenra. It was letting go of one more piece of him.
Connor recently hit a homerun, and I know he wished Tom were there to congratulate him. Tom would have loved to see him all dressed up for the homecoming dance. He would enjoy teasing Connor's about his girlfriend! Tom would be proud of his grades and the quality of his character.
Tori really needs her dad to give her a big hug. She is such a good girl, but anytime she makes a mistake she thinks she is letting him down. He needs to tell her that he loves her no matter what. She beats herself up sometimes. It isn't enough for me to tell her Tom loves her no matter what.
I'm so proud of the people our children are growing up to be. I'm happy they have so much of Tom's character in them. I wish he were here to share in my joys as I watch them grow and mature.
Thanks for your continued support. I need the words of encouragement.
Jenny
There but for the grace of God ,or Buddah, or whatever helps you sleep at night go we. I will never put that shit in my mouth again, I hope you don't either
sM
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Woke up at 3AM sweating like a whore in church. Sweating so bad that I thought I pissed the bed. Instantly copenhagan was on my mind, so here I sit complaining to you guys trying to get it off my mind. When do we stop thinking about it? When does the shit stop consuming our lives? I am tired of feeling like a slave to a worthless, cock sucking, piece of shit inanimate object in a can. Today I face the tractor again without cope. I will ride that bitch with pride because today I will be free again. GO GATORS
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Woke up at 3AM sweating like a whore in church. Sweating so bad that I thought I pissed the bed. Instantly copenhagan was on my mind, so here I sit complaining to you guys trying to get it off my mind. When do we stop thinking about it? When does the shit stop consuming our lives? I am tired of feeling like a slave to a worthless, cock sucking, piece of shit inanimate object in a can. Today I face the tractor again without cope. I will ride that bitch with pride because today I will be free again. GO GATORS
Well Masterbator...it will take a looong time before you stop thinking about it. Would you expect any different? It took you years to develop and nurture your addiction. It will take time to tame it.
Stay close to the site, post roll everyday, and continue to post. That is a recipe for success. The only one many of us have ever found. Implement it. Own it.
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Master, you need to read this that was written by super quitter sensei
index.php?showtopic=3263 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=3263)
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super quitter sensei's words could not be more true, thanks for sharing that with me. I actually had short periods of time today where I thought of something else for the first time in a week. Hope this is sign of progress because I have had enough of that skank whore in a can controlling my every thought. Thanks for the support fellas.
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I didn't try it to be cool or from peer pressure, I did it because I am a cowboy and thats what we do. Growing up in a large family of cowboys, drinking and chewing was just a part of life. I have been sober for 2 years now, but that was a cake walk compared to quitting this bitch. I have eaten a can of cope a day for the last 16 years. It has taken me those 16 years to realize that cowboys don't have to eat that stupid shit, without it I am still a cowboy. I am 8 days into my quit. The fog has lifted and I am feeling better physically, but the mind games are killing me. There is someone else in my head telling me that I need it, will die without it, can't do anything without, go get it. I am talking to myself like a damn crazy person, constantly giving myself pep talks. My wife tells me, "you will be fine, its only in your head", well no shit. She does however give me great motivation. She asked me that if I lose my tongue to cancer, how am I going to eat her you know what? That should be enough motivation for any straight man to quit. I have tried to quit maybe 3 times all for the wrong reasons. My mom, girlfriend, wife, everyone else wanted me to. Well guess what that didn't work. I did not know chew was so dangerous. All of the men in my life chew, but I have never heard of anyone getting sick from it. I thought that was only for smokers. I have seen the pictures and read the stories on this site, and now I can say that this is some bad shit that we have been playing with. I can now say that I quit because I don't want to fucking die. I don't want my head to be butchered like a hog, I don't want my 2 baby girls to be scared of daddy because he looks like a freak, and I don't want to lose my tongue and not be able to eat my wife's you know what. Time to go cut hay. Sitting on the tractor all day without copenhagen is going to be a bitch, but I will live because I quit for the right reason.
Welcome aboard bro--PM if you need anything.
Just remember...there can be only one real gator, however.
:D
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I didn't try it to be cool or from peer pressure, I did it because I am a cowboy and thats what we do. Growing up in a large family of cowboys, drinking and chewing was just a part of life. I have been sober for 2 years now, but that was a cake walk compared to quitting this bitch. I have eaten a can of cope a day for the last 16 years. It has taken me those 16 years to realize that cowboys don't have to eat that stupid shit, without it I am still a cowboy. I am 8 days into my quit. The fog has lifted and I am feeling better physically, but the mind games are killing me. There is someone else in my head telling me that I need it, will die without it, can't do anything without, go get it. I am talking to myself like a damn crazy person, constantly giving myself pep talks. My wife tells me, "you will be fine, its only in your head", well no shit. She does however give me great motivation. She asked me that if I lose my tongue to cancer, how am I going to eat her you know what? That should be enough motivation for any straight man to quit. I have tried to quit maybe 3 times all for the wrong reasons. My mom, girlfriend, wife, everyone else wanted me to. Well guess what that didn't work. I did not know chew was so dangerous. All of the men in my life chew, but I have never heard of anyone getting sick from it. I thought that was only for smokers. I have seen the pictures and read the stories on this site, and now I can say that this is some bad shit that we have been playing with. I can now say that I quit because I don't want to fucking die. I don't want my head to be butchered like a hog, I don't want my 2 baby girls to be scared of daddy because he looks like a freak, and I don't want to lose my tongue and not be able to eat my wife's you know what. Time to go cut hay. Sitting on the tractor all day without copenhagen is going to be a bitch, but I will live because I quit for the right reason.
Welcome aboard bro--PM if you need anything.
Just remember...there can be only one real gator, however.
:D
I've heard Tim Tebow is the only "real" gator. 'shock'
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I didn't try it to be cool or from peer pressure, I did it because I am a cowboy and thats what we do. Growing up in a large family of cowboys, drinking and chewing was just a part of life. I have been sober for 2 years now, but that was a cake walk compared to quitting this bitch. I have eaten a can of cope a day for the last 16 years. It has taken me those 16 years to realize that cowboys don't have to eat that stupid shit, without it I am still a cowboy. I am 8 days into my quit. The fog has lifted and I am feeling better physically, but the mind games are killing me. There is someone else in my head telling me that I need it, will die without it, can't do anything without, go get it. I am talking to myself like a damn crazy person, constantly giving myself pep talks. My wife tells me, "you will be fine, its only in your head", well no shit. She does however give me great motivation. She asked me that if I lose my tongue to cancer, how am I going to eat her you know what? That should be enough motivation for any straight man to quit. I have tried to quit maybe 3 times all for the wrong reasons. My mom, girlfriend, wife, everyone else wanted me to. Well guess what that didn't work. I did not know chew was so dangerous. All of the men in my life chew, but I have never heard of anyone getting sick from it. I thought that was only for smokers. I have seen the pictures and read the stories on this site, and now I can say that this is some bad shit that we have been playing with. I can now say that I quit because I don't want to fucking die. I don't want my head to be butchered like a hog, I don't want my 2 baby girls to be scared of daddy because he looks like a freak, and I don't want to lose my tongue and not be able to eat my wife's you know what. Time to go cut hay. Sitting on the tractor all day without copenhagen is going to be a bitch, but I will live because I quit for the right reason.
Welcome aboard bro--PM if you need anything.
Just remember...there can be only one real gator, however.
:D
I've heard Tim Tebow is the only "real" gator. 'shock'
Sam would probably agree with you. :D
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I didn't try it to be cool or from peer pressure, I did it because I am a cowboy and thats what we do. Growing up in a large family of cowboys, drinking and chewing was just a part of life. I have been sober for 2 years now, but that was a cake walk compared to quitting this bitch. I have eaten a can of cope a day for the last 16 years. It has taken me those 16 years to realize that cowboys don't have to eat that stupid shit, without it I am still a cowboy. I am 8 days into my quit. The fog has lifted and I am feeling better physically, but the mind games are killing me. There is someone else in my head telling me that I need it, will die without it, can't do anything without, go get it. I am talking to myself like a damn crazy person, constantly giving myself pep talks. My wife tells me, "you will be fine, its only in your head", well no shit. She does however give me great motivation. She asked me that if I lose my tongue to cancer, how am I going to eat her you know what? That should be enough motivation for any straight man to quit. I have tried to quit maybe 3 times all for the wrong reasons. My mom, girlfriend, wife, everyone else wanted me to. Well guess what that didn't work. I did not know chew was so dangerous. All of the men in my life chew, but I have never heard of anyone getting sick from it. I thought that was only for smokers. I have seen the pictures and read the stories on this site, and now I can say that this is some bad shit that we have been playing with. I can now say that I quit because I don't want to fucking die. I don't want my head to be butchered like a hog, I don't want my 2 baby girls to be scared of daddy because he looks like a freak, and I don't want to lose my tongue and not be able to eat my wife's you know what. Time to go cut hay. Sitting on the tractor all day without copenhagen is going to be a bitch, but I will live because I quit for the right reason.
Welcome aboard bro--PM if you need anything.
Just remember...there can be only one real gator, however.
:D
I've heard Tim Tebow is the only "real" gator. 'shock'
Sam would probably agree with you. :D
master gator? More like masterbater, amirite?! Hurr Durr!
Just a friendly reminder of how bad Bama stomped the gaytors.
Please continue.
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I didn't try it to be cool or from peer pressure, I did it because I am a cowboy and thats what we do. Growing up in a large family of cowboys, drinking and chewing was just a part of life. I have been sober for 2 years now, but that was a cake walk compared to quitting this bitch. I have eaten a can of cope a day for the last 16 years. It has taken me those 16 years to realize that cowboys don't have to eat that stupid shit, without it I am still a cowboy. I am 8 days into my quit. The fog has lifted and I am feeling better physically, but the mind games are killing me. There is someone else in my head telling me that I need it, will die without it, can't do anything without, go get it. I am talking to myself like a damn crazy person, constantly giving myself pep talks. My wife tells me, "you will be fine, its only in your head", well no shit. She does however give me great motivation. She asked me that if I lose my tongue to cancer, how am I going to eat her you know what? That should be enough motivation for any straight man to quit. I have tried to quit maybe 3 times all for the wrong reasons. My mom, girlfriend, wife, everyone else wanted me to. Well guess what that didn't work. I did not know chew was so dangerous. All of the men in my life chew, but I have never heard of anyone getting sick from it. I thought that was only for smokers. I have seen the pictures and read the stories on this site, and now I can say that this is some bad shit that we have been playing with. I can now say that I quit because I don't want to fucking die. I don't want my head to be butchered like a hog, I don't want my 2 baby girls to be scared of daddy because he looks like a freak, and I don't want to lose my tongue and not be able to eat my wife's you know what. Time to go cut hay. Sitting on the tractor all day without copenhagen is going to be a bitch, but I will live because I quit for the right reason.
Welcome aboard bro--PM if you need anything.
Just remember...there can be only one real gator, however.
:D
I've heard Tim Tebow is the only "real" gator. 'shock'
Sam would probably agree with you. :D
master gator? More like masterbater, amirite?! Hurr Durr!
Just a friendly reminder of how bad Bama stomped the gaytors.
Please continue.
Great Decision!!! You MUST quit for yourself to be sucessful!!! And guess what??? You'll find that the tractor will drive and your mower will cut just as well without a turd in your lip!!!. Having quit the booze has elimnated a bad trigger so you will do just fine, a day at a time!!!
PS Pussys taste better without cope!!! :D
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super quitter sensei's words could not be more true, thanks for sharing that with me. I actually had short periods of time today where I thought of something else for the first time in a week. Hope this is sign of progress because I have had enough of that skank whore in a can controlling my every thought. Thanks for the support fellas.
those short periods get longer and longer. But there are still times at day 197 where I think about it for a while, then off to something else like ass banging Mrs MikeA....or greg40