KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: T_Roy on October 14, 2015, 09:09:00 AM
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Hey guys, glad I found the site. I've been dipping for almost 10 years. For the majority of that I was chewing at least 1 to 1.5 tins per day. As soon as I woke up I'd have a mouthful, and basically all day long at work I would keep one in. I have been dreading this process for so long because I knew it would be hell, and I can't believe how horrible I feel right now. Yesterday I had cold sweats all day, a headache I can't even describe and I felt like I was going to throw up all day. My goal was to quit cold turkey, but I had to run to the pharmacy and get some nicotine lozenges. The Lozenges are definitely helping me get through the day without having a nervous breakdown, but I really don't want to lean on them as a crutch too much.
Best of luck to all of you who are starting this process as well.
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T_Roy, glad you made a decision to quit. Now, dump the nic lozenges too. The success on this site requires you be NICOTINE FREE.
Simply said, you are just making your quit harder by having them around. Get through the first few days NIC FREE and you will be a different person.
Im a Nicotine addict, so is everyone on this site. We cant handle any nicotine (Cigs, gum, lozenges, cigars...), they wil only trigger us to start dip again.
You are a slave to that nicotine right now. ANd want to know something, I AM NOT! Not anymore that is.
I chewed for nearly 30 years. Not 1 or 1.5 cans a day, mayb 1 can every 4 days. But still, an addict.
Cmon man, go a little farther, dump the lozenges, then you can join the JANUARY quit group (100 days from your quit date decides what group you will be in). they have some bad ass quitters newbie quitters there who can help you. HOCKEYCOACH, FOWLMOUTH are just a few.
Browse this site, and jump in with both feet. EMBRACE THE SUCK, is something you;ll hear alot on this site, you are in the middle of it right now. But, it will get better, so much better that you wont believe how good it can be!
QUIT WITH US BROTHER! All the way
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Roy, it is nicotine that you are addicted to. Swapping dip for a patch or cigarettes is not a quit.
At some point you have to stop the patches as well-- yes cold turkey sooner or later.
Take a deep breath, exhale, get rid of the patch. You will live through what happens next, we call it the "suck" for a reason though. Don't fear it, embrace it and endure it. Drink water and exercise. Life will be much better in 3 days when the nicotine is out of your body.
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Thank you guys. I'm sorry I didn't know it was a nicotine free site. I kind of found it by accident and am not familiar with all the details. Ok, I'm dumping the Lozenges now, and my stress level is going through the roof just from the anticipation, But I understand why it must be done.
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Thank you guys. I'm sorry I didn't know it was a nicotine free site. I kind of found it by accident and am not familiar with all the details. Ok, I'm dumping the Lozenges now, and my stress level is going through the roof just from the anticipation, But I understand why it must be done.
It is hard for a few days but it works. Focus on this one day at a time. Don't worry about quitting forever--don't even think about it. Just beat nic one day, one urge at a time. Seriously just focus on saying no right now.
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Thank you guys. I'm sorry I didn't know it was a nicotine free site. I kind of found it by accident and am not familiar with all the details. Ok, I'm dumping the Lozenges now, and my stress level is going through the roof just from the anticipation, But I understand why it must be done.
It is hard for a few days but it works. Focus on this one day at a time. Don't worry about quitting forever--don't even think about it. Just beat nic one day, one urge at a time. Seriously just focus on saying no right now.
EXACTLY!!!!!
Before you know it you will be at day 9, then double digits. then you'll find yourself actually reaching out to help a newbie in this intro section.
Thats the money shot bro, that's when you realize why this shit is so succesful
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Congratulations on making the decision to quit all forms of nicotine.
Post roll. This is a promise to yourself and to the brother hood that you will not use any nicotine for today.
The cost of this site is making that promise and keeping it. There are hundreds of fellow addicts on here who have been in your shoes. You make that promise and the knowledge and support is available to you.
It is going to suck for awhile, but it will get better. For the first week drink as much water as you can, exercise, and read and post on this forum. Your body is going to be flushing out that poison and starting the process of healing. We poisoned our bodies for years. It will take some time to heal.
PM any of us if you have questions or need more support.
I am damn proud to quit with you today.
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Thank you guys. I'm sorry I didn't know it was a nicotine free site. I kind of found it by accident and am not familiar with all the details. Ok, I'm dumping the Lozenges now, and my stress level is going through the roof just from the anticipation, But I understand why it must be done.
Great work man, so glad you found the site and are now nicotine free!
It does suck at first, but on the other side of this suck is real freedom.. Freedom to wake up without craving some dirty weed that's going to kill you, Freedom from addiction.
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Thank you guys. I'm sorry I didn't know it was a nicotine free site. I kind of found it by accident and am not familiar with all the details. Ok, I'm dumping the Lozenges now, and my stress level is going through the roof just from the anticipation, But I understand why it must be done.
That is not stress you feel . . . it is the blood rushing to your raging quit dick.
I played the same game: slapped a patch on and called myself "quit." I was panzy-footing around worrying about how I was going to feel and how I was going to treat my family. Just like you, I finally nutted up and faced this thing head on. I'm here a mere two weeks later and it feels fucking awesome. It is still a struggle, but charging through the suck is an accomplishment. Now go get yourself an accomplishment!
Suck on the teat of KTC: she'll see you through the suck. There are stories from brothers and sisters that make the suck look like a walk in the park. There's an army of quitters itching to walk with you: you are not alone.
Now get your ass over to January 2016 (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11341759/18/?x=90#new) and promise me you won't use nicotine for the rest of today. Check your PMs. Beat your chest and slay this dragon.
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Thank you guys. I'm sorry I didn't know it was a nicotine free site. I kind of found it by accident and am not familiar with all the details. Ok, I'm dumping the Lozenges now, and my stress level is going through the roof just from the anticipation, But I understand why it must be done.
Great work man, so glad you found the site and are now nicotine free!
It does suck at first, but on the other side of this suck is real freedom.. Freedom to wake up without craving some dirty weed that's going to kill you, Freedom from addiction.
All good advice T_Roy. Keep quitting in manageable chunks (minutes, hours, etc., but no more than one day at a time). The suck does suck, but it's temporary. The alternative? Death. That shit isn't temporary. Think it can't happen to you? Neither did this guy (http://www.outdoortexan.com/mycancer.htm) or this guy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDFNqOuZ3II) or this guy (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1008847/1)
You can do it. We're here to walk the walk with you. It has to start somewhere. Go post roll with January and let's get to quitting.
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Hey T!
What the others said is all true. And believe me, we all know how bad the first few days sucks. But I promise you that you won't feel like this forever, and it isn't going to kill you. Anxiety and stress is a great indication that the poison is leaving your system, a process that takes about three days. As others have mentioned, water and exercise of any sort is your friend. Even a walk can help give your mind and body something to do.
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I can't believe how horrible I feel right now.
Yesterday I had cold sweats all day,
a headache I can't even describe,
and I felt like I was going to throw up all day.
My stress level is going through the roof just from the anticipation
That is your poem of misery using your own words. Look at what a grip nicotine has on your life! You would be a fool to give up and go back to slavery when this shit does this to you!
You only need to anticipate one day at a time. Make your promise to stay quit one day at a time, and then be true to your promise. Soon every one of those symptoms is going to go away.
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man t roy we gots to get you on roll call. go check out the wellcome center (http://forum.killthecan.org/forum/55560/) sepshully parts 2, 3, and 4. then head over to january 2016 just like fowl mouth told ya back a cuppel a posts ago. get your name on roll man.
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Still trying to figure out how to do the roll call... I'm confused
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Still trying to figure out how to do the roll call... I'm confused
you click "quote" on the latest roll post.
You select all of the text in the "Quoting" box--cut it (CTRL-X or use mouse)
Move to the top box and paste the text. Insert your name at the end of the roll list (not the supporters list).
AND--just wanted to point out. This is NOT hell. Hell is what happens when you don't quit and cancer hits you and your family has to watch you die or see your go through treatment. That's the hell we are trying to avoid by getting tobacco out of our lives.
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Ok I think i did it right. Thanks for your help!
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Ok I think i did it right. Thanks for your help!
Welcome to the nut house! You might want to change your quit date on your profile to avoid any confusion. That date is the first day you did not input any nic into your system (i.e. lozenges are still nic). Congrats on the best decision you could possible make today! Read everything you can on the site to truly understand the war we wage (and why). Way to stick with it T_Roy, it gets a lot better.
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Ok Changed the date and will dig in. Thanks!
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I just wanted to post an update on my first week. First, I am super thankful for everyone here! I love coming to the site and reading people's stories, for some reason itÂ’s really helpful. I really didn't think it would help but for some reason it motivation to learn about how others are overcoming their past habits etc... So, because I'm grateful for other's stories here is a little bit more of mine.
When I was a sophomore college my Dad died from throat cancer of all things. It started in his throat, then after chemo and radiation immediately spread to his lungs and liver. His type of cancer was nicknamed by the Doctors "The smoker/ Drinker Cancer" But.....He never smoked, or dipped a day in his life, and barely drank. I was so fucking angry at the irony of his illness/ death that when I saw my friends dipping and smoking after that point, I was like, fuck it, what difference does it make if dip can kill you, my pops didn't touch the shit and he still died. Pretty stupid 19/20 yr old logic but I was young, heartbroken, seriously angry and before you know it I was dipping while drinking and pretty soon I was hooked. The worst part, the part that makes me feel the most guilt is that the more I did it, the more I genuinely enjoyed it. I would tell people I was gonna quit, but I honestly did not want to. I loved it. In the beginning I never felt like I needed it, I just fucking wanted more of it. I guess that's the sneaky part of addiction... Looking back now I feel so fucking stupid for risking my life, my livelihood, (I'm a singer/ voice actor). As I look back on the escalation of my addiction I am amazed how I let it happen.
When I first started in college, I would dip while in class, I would dip all night while I was bar-tending, I'd just lean into the sink and wash my hands and spit into the drain. After a couple years of doing a can every few days, I began dipping first thing in the morning. I'd throw one in right before I hopped into the shower. After the shower I'd take it out, (save it) brush my teeth, and put it right back in. I'd leave it in all morning until about 10. Have a coffee, put another bomb in there until lunch. Eat, another banger or two until the end of work. Swap that out for a fresh one for the ride home, and while I'm home I finish off the can and run to the store to get another one for the next day. If I wasn't sleeping or eating, I was dipping.
I finally, recently, started to realize how big of a grip it had on my life because my girlfriend started to speak up, sheÂ’s been with me for 10 years so she's noticed the escalation. She'd say "I never see you without it, IÂ’m worried about youÂ… I donÂ’t want you to ruin your lifeÂ…our lives." I would get so fucking mad at her for saying anything at all that I would leave the room or storm out of the house. How unfair for me to punish her for wanting me to stay alive. Subconsciously I knew I had a major problem, but just wasn't ready to admit it, because despite the senselessness of my fatherÂ’s death, and the fact that I knew this could very well kill me. I still was secretly in love with it. What a horrible love story.
I could go on forever, as I know many of you could, but these were some thoughts on my mind today. I apologize if this is a bit scattered, IÂ’m still in a heavy Fog even on Day 7. As hard as this week has been IÂ’m proud of myself for staying quit each day for 7 days. I will keep it up, and I hope you all will too.
-T_Roy
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T-Roy, this is EXACTLY what you should be doing. It may be a little scatter-brained for awhile, but by typing out that expose, you are coming to grips with the depth of your (our) addiction. In the words of wisdom, there is a Youtube story about Sean Marsee. He was 18 or so when he found at he had cancer, and he died before he turned 20. One day his brother was driving him to his chemo appointment and watched Sean pop a dip in. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?? He was fighting for his life, but could not give up the very thing that caused that fight.
This is some serious shit we've gotten ourselves into, but one thing has helped me get over that hurdle: we can't change yesterday and we can't do anything about tomorrow yet. Meaning, the only thing you can control in this battle is the choices you make for today. Today I have posted roll and taken using nicotine off the table. Very near the top of my priority list is keeping that promise today. I quit with at least as much effort as I put into dipping. That's not always easy when you think about how often we had that crap in our mouths, but if you don't do everything possible in your power to keep nic at bay, she'll sneak back into your life when you least expect it.
I can't imagine the heartbreak you felt when your dad passed, but don't selfishly put anybody in your family through the same thing. Your dad didn't have control over how he died, but you might. Don't succumb to the temptress ODAAT and you will have done everything you can do today to avoid the dangers of that poisonous can.
Again well done posting your thoughts. It seems weird at first to lay it out there for a bunch of internet readers, but the more you put out there, the more invested your brothers and sisters will become, thereby increasing your chances for success.
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If it's hell on Earth then you are doing it right! It's gonna suck until it doesn't!
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T-Roy thanks for posting this. You are lucky to have someone in your life that has the courage to speak up against your addiction and tell you how it really is.
Remember, this quit is for your life and your future. You didn't start because of your dad and you didn't stop because of your girlfriend. All the decisions we make are ours and ours alone. BUT, the most important part of that last statement is that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CAN MAKE YOU CAVE BUT YOU. Go back and look through the site if you want, but I don't think you'll find any cave story that says "I caved because some guy put a gun to my head and MADE me throw a lip of dirt in my mouth." This is on you now, T_Roy and we are all here to support you. If you never make the decision to put nicotine back in your body, you will be nic-free for the rest of your life! But we'll start by focusing on today, haha. Quit with you, ODAAT.
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T-Roy, this is EXACTLY what you should be doing. It may be a little scatter-brained for awhile, but by typing out that expose, you are coming to grips with the depth of your (our) addiction. In the words of wisdom, there is a Youtube story about Sean Marsee. He was 18 or so when he found at he had cancer, and he died before he turned 20. One day his brother was driving him to his chemo appointment and watched Sean pop a dip in. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?? He was fighting for his life, but could not give up the very thing that caused that fight.
This is some serious shit we've gotten ourselves into, but one thing has helped me get over that hurdle: we can't change yesterday and we can't do anything about tomorrow yet. Meaning, the only thing you can control in this battle is the choices you make for today. Today I have posted roll and taken using nicotine off the table. Very near the top of my priority list is keeping that promise today. I quit with at least as much effort as I put into dipping. That's not always easy when you think about how often we had that crap in our mouths, but if you don't do everything possible in your power to keep nic at bay, she'll sneak back into your life when you least expect it.
I can't imagine the heartbreak you felt when your dad passed, but don't selfishly put anybody in your family through the same thing. Your dad didn't have control over how he died, but you might. Don't succumb to the temptress ODAAT and you will have done everything you can do today to avoid the dangers of that poisonous can.
Again well done posting your thoughts. It seems weird at first to lay it out there for a bunch of internet readers, but the more you put out there, the more invested your brothers and sisters will become, thereby increasing your chances for success.
Thanks KingNothing! I did watch the Sean Marsee story and It is heartbreaking to see that kind of helplessness what a terribly sad story. You are right about everything, today is all that matters, and I sure as shit don't want to put my family through cancer again.
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T-Roy thanks for posting this. You are lucky to have someone in your life that has the courage to speak up against your addiction and tell you how it really is.
Remember, this quit is for your life and your future. You didn't start because of your dad and you didn't stop because of your girlfriend. All the decisions we make are ours and ours alone. BUT, the most important part of that last statement is that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CAN MAKE YOU CAVE BUT YOU. Go back and look through the site if you want, but I don't think you'll find any cave story that says "I caved because some guy put a gun to my head and MADE me throw a lip of dirt in my mouth." This is on you now, T_Roy and we are all here to support you. If you never make the decision to put nicotine back in your body, you will be nic-free for the rest of your life! But we'll start by focusing on today, haha. Quit with you, ODAAT.
Thanks! I sure am lucky I have people that care about me enough to try to get me to care about myself.
ODAAT!
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I just wanted to post an update on my first week. First, I am super thankful for everyone here! I love coming to the site and reading people's stories, for some reason itÂ’s really helpful. I really didn't think it would help but for some reason it motivation to learn about how others are overcoming their past habits etc... So, because I'm grateful for other's stories here is a little bit more of mine.
When I was a sophomore college my Dad died from throat cancer of all things. It started in his throat, then after chemo and radiation immediately spread to his lungs and liver. His type of cancer was nicknamed by the Doctors "The smoker/ Drinker Cancer" But.....He never smoked, or dipped a day in his life, and barely drank. I was so fucking angry at the irony of his illness/ death that when I saw my friends dipping and smoking after that point, I was like, fuck it, what difference does it make if dip can kill you, my pops didn't touch the shit and he still died. Pretty stupid 19/20 yr old logic but I was young, heartbroken, seriously angry and before you know it I was dipping while drinking and pretty soon I was hooked. The worst part, the part that makes me feel the most guilt is that the more I did it, the more I genuinely enjoyed it. I would tell people I was gonna quit, but I honestly did not want to. I loved it. In the beginning I never felt like I needed it, I just fucking wanted more of it. I guess that's the sneaky part of addiction... Looking back now I feel so fucking stupid for risking my life, my livelihood, (I'm a singer/ voice actor). As I look back on the escalation of my addiction I am amazed how I let it happen.
When I first started in college, I would dip while in class, I would dip all night while I was bar-tending, I'd just lean into the sink and wash my hands and spit into the drain. After a couple years of doing a can every few days, I began dipping first thing in the morning. I'd throw one in right before I hopped into the shower. After the shower I'd take it out, (save it) brush my teeth, and put it right back in. I'd leave it in all morning until about 10. Have a coffee, put another bomb in there until lunch. Eat, another banger or two until the end of work. Swap that out for a fresh one for the ride home, and while I'm home I finish off the can and run to the store to get another one for the next day. If I wasn't sleeping or eating, I was dipping.
I finally, recently, started to realize how big of a grip it had on my life because my girlfriend started to speak up, sheÂ’s been with me for 10 years so she's noticed the escalation. She'd say "I never see you without it, IÂ’m worried about youÂ… I donÂ’t want you to ruin your lifeÂ…our lives." I would get so fucking mad at her for saying anything at all that I would leave the room or storm out of the house. How unfair for me to punish her for wanting me to stay alive. Subconsciously I knew I had a major problem, but just wasn't ready to admit it, because despite the senselessness of my fatherÂ’s death, and the fact that I knew this could very well kill me. I still was secretly in love with it. What a horrible love story.
I could go on forever, as I know many of you could, but these were some thoughts on my mind today. I apologize if this is a bit scattered, IÂ’m still in a heavy Fog even on Day 7. As hard as this week has been IÂ’m proud of myself for staying quit each day for 7 days. I will keep it up, and I hope you all will too.
-T_Roy
This is one helluva post and you best re-read this from time to time. It's the perfect revelation by an addict who meets the quitter for the first time once the fog lifts. Promise yourself that you'll never be this guy again. As of this post, I'm 22+ months into my young quit - and I still promise myself to never be the person who got me here in the first place. Ever.