KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: pakwash on October 16, 2013, 05:01:00 PM
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The other day I realized that I've been putting shit in my mouth (that will most likely kill me) for damn near 20 years. I started dipping when I was 16 and I’m now 35. At first it was just for fun /cool - but it soon turned into an all-out addiction. I settled in on grizzly wintergreen as my poison of choice and have averaged 2-3 cans a week for the last 19 years. That’s ~2,500 cans which equates to about 200 pounds of chew – pretty fucking disgusting.
I've spent a lot of time reading other peopleÂ’s storyÂ’s on this forum the last two days and it could be a chapter from my life.
1) Marriage trouble: trying to hide it from my wife and lying to her about being quit
2) Two adorable kids: want dad around for a long time, with his entire face still intact.
3) Health issues: high blood pressure, poor circulation, anxiety, white patches in my mouth, etcÂ…
I used to think that nicotine was an escape and that dipping somehow made me feel better. But I've come to realize that nicotine is the actually the cause of the majority of the problems/stress in my life. IÂ’m tired of being a slave to the can, and itÂ’s finally time to man up and take my life back.
Thank god for this website.
pakwash
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Welcome Pak,
Check out the welcome center above, it's the pinkish link at the top of the page. When your ready post roll with your group, you'll be with the January '14 pre-HoF group. Drink lots of water and grab an alternative. Seeds, gum, candy, Herbal or Fake Dip whatever it takes to keep the poison out of your mouth for now.
Get ready for the ride of a lifetime, this will be one of the hardest and most rewarding things you'll do for yourself.
Check your inbox I'll be sending you my phone number, use it as needed for support. Proud to quit with you today!
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Right on pakwash. You've made some great realizations. Post roll. First thing. It represents your integrity. I've been doing it for nearly 2,000 days now with a few breaks. The only times I've even considered chew to be an option have been during those breaks.
Whatever happens in your life or on this site, take the 30 seconds to post roll in the morning. And mean it.
Congrats on an awesome decision. Crazy that you've never known freedom as an adult. Welcome!
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Welcome to KTC and congrats on kicking that evil ass can out of your life. Just take it one day at a time. Worry about tomorrow when it gets here, no sooner. You should go get yourself some sunflower seeds, tooth picks, hard candy, fake chew or anything really for when the cravings get tough. I will quit with you any day. If you need anything at all feel free to pm me.
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Quitting is really simple.
Read everything on here, post roll call each morning and don't dip. Wow....that sounds so easy, doesn't it?
If you read through the other intro's you may see some of my same words on them but they always hold true so I will just repeat them...
You are in for one nasty fight but you have the tools here to make it.
Go load yourself up with gum, mints, fake chew, seeds and beef jerky. Also get some member phone numbers right now, they will help you through the rough parts.
Next, exercise to exhaustion every single day and drink so much water that you feel like you may bust. Both of these will help.
Make sure your wife reads about what you are going through. 99% chance that you are going to be a short fussed dick for the next 3-4 weeks. Try not to take it out on her and the kids. Get on here and take it out on us, we will be fine.
I quit with you.
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Welcome to the nic killers. I'm in the same quit group as you and I'll do everything that I can to help you quit and to stay quit. I hope that you will do the same with me. Glad to be quitting with you today pakwash
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Welcome Pakwash, i feel you pain brother hiding from wife got 2 kids and i was a addict for 17 years Copenhagen Wintergreen Longcut. i put it down and i know you can to and we are all here to help each other. i will be glad to stand by you and quit along your side. if you need to talk let me know. Again glad to have you with us look us up on Face book 2014 NIC Killers.
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Welcome pak. Don't think this down the road. Take it one day at a time. Get up in the morning and get roll posted. Do it early and make it your habit. You are promising this great group of witnessing fellow quitters that you will quit today with all of us. It's that simple buddy. Then the next day, you wake up, and that awesome miracle happens that us quitters know so well. YOU GET A NEW NUMBER !!!! How freaking awesome is that ?!?! You are only Pakwash 3 today. In the morning you wil will wake up and be Pakwash 4. Brother that right there has helped me claw through several hard days. Proud to be quit with you bro !!!!
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Great intro. What is surprising is how quitting a poison can improve other parts of your life. It seems like the loss of a friend at first. Trust is, this addiction is no friend. You've got a great mentor with Gdubya. Like everything else in Texas, he's got a big quit going. Welcome aboard! If I can help or you'd like another contact let me know.
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Welcome Pakwash, i feel you pain brother hiding from wife got 2 kids and i was a addict for 17 years Copenhagen Wintergreen Longcut. i put it down and i know you can to and we are all here to help each other. i will be glad to stand by you and quit along your side. if you need to talk let me know. Again glad to have you with us look us up on Face book 2014 NIC Killers.
Mr. Reaper Sr.
I have never seen that dh lawrence quote posted elsewhere. Welldone and true.
Pakwash,
If you ever feel sorry for yourself...dont. I started this way and it is what lead me to the site...on my knees feeling only sorry for me. You are stronger than you can possibly know. You affect more people than you can possibly realize. Stand up for yourself and declare that you are quit. Today, tomorrow, and for many to come, i will be by your side.
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The other day I realized that I've been putting shit in my mouth (that will most likely kill me) for damn near 20 years. I started dipping when I was 16 and I’m now 35. At first it was just for fun /cool - but it soon turned into an all-out addiction. I settled in on grizzly wintergreen as my poison of choice and have averaged 2-3 cans a week for the last 19 years. That’s ~2,500 cans which equates to about 200 pounds of chew – pretty fucking disgusting.
I've spent a lot of time reading other peopleÂ’s storyÂ’s on this forum the last two days and it could be a chapter from my life.
1) Marriage trouble: trying to hide it from my wife and lying to her about being quit
2) Two adorable kids: want dad around for a long time, with his entire face still intact.
3) Health issues: high blood pressure, poor circulation, anxiety, white patches in my mouth, etcÂ…
I used to think that nicotine was an escape and that dipping somehow made me feel better. But I've come to realize that nicotine is the actually the cause of the majority of the problems/stress in my life. IÂ’m tired of being a slave to the can, and itÂ’s finally time to man up and take my life back.
Thank god for this website.
pakwash
Welcome Pakwash, not sure I can add much more either to your own wisdom insight already, or to what your peers the veterans have already added!
I really like Griz's comment that you affect more people than you can possibly realize. I never would've thought that on here, but thank God for this website indeed, get up post roll every morning. Stick around get involved, the power is pretty intense both for you to be healed, but to affect those around you too.
Proud to be quit with you today, PM me if you need/want another number.
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Thanks for all the support, its great to be going through the fog knowing that there are others out there facing the same shit. Definitely brings out my competitive side - "if that guy can do it then I sure the hell can too". Already day 4.
Reaper, Punkin, Grizzfall - glad to be your quit brother. I don't have a FB account but I will be on the board each day with youu making my promise. Lets see this through one day at a time.
-pak
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"if that guy can do it then I sure the hell can too".
That's what I kept telling myself, too. Day 4 was a really tough SOB for me - the fog kicked in big time. I didn't get much accomplished at work... I zoned out quite a bit, and spent a lot of time reading and interacting on KTC. It didn't matter, though, because I made my quit my #1 priority.
Keep it up, pak.
PS I chewed the same amount of grizzly wintergreen as you: 200lbs. You could stack those tins to the top of the Houston Astrodome. How nasty is that??
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Good Stuff Pak, I do the same thing at the gym when lifting weights. Keep an eye on your inbox for a message from me.
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Good Stuff Pak, I do the same thing at the gym when lifting weights. Keep an eye on your inbox for a message from me.
Keep working the quit