KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Siggy15 on March 16, 2015, 02:47:00 PM
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Hi,
I am 46 and have been married to Kodiak for 26 years, about a tin every day. I have tried to quit a few times, but never made it beyond the second week. I found this site back in January, but I was afraid to take the next step because I could see how sacred roll call is, and I was afraid to let everybody down (including myself).
My forever quit started yesterday when I dumped my last tin down the shitter. It took all of my strength to drive by the gas station this morning without stopping for a refill. I found another tin at work, but I dumped that bitch just before noon, then chased her down the trap with a dump of my own.
I am done, and no matter how bad the suck gets, I deserve all of it for being so weak and stupid for all of these years. My oldest daughter starts college in the fall, and that f%#@-ing bear stole her first two years of tuition.
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FANTASTIC, Siggy!!! Glad you're here!! Embrace the suck and kick that nicotine bitch right in the teeth!
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Glad that you made the decision to drive right on by that gas station! My first day of the suck today too. When the suck is over and we can see the positive change in our lives, we will see how great of a decision we made today.
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I am happy to hear you drove past the gas station today. I know how hard that is to do as I have driven past several today and have had to fight the urge to pull in and get a can. My day 1 is today also. It has been a shit day, but you know what I have realized. This is my fault I feel this way. The level of suck that I am going through today is something that I have just come to terms with as I deserve this shit for putting my health and my families well being at risk everyday for the last 20 years.
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Hi,
I am 46 and have been married to Kodiak for 26 years, about a tin every day. I have tried to quit a few times, but never made it beyond the second week. I found this site back in January, but I was afraid to take the next step because I could see how sacred roll call is, and I was afraid to let everybody down (including myself).
My forever quit started yesterday when I dumped my last tin down the shitter. It took all of my strength to drive by the gas station this morning without stopping for a refill. I found another tin at work, but I dumped that bitch just before noon, then chased her down the trap with a dump of my own.
I am done, and no matter how bad the suck gets, I deserve all of it for being so weak and stupid for all of these years. My oldest daughter starts college in the fall, and that f%#@-ing bear stole her first two years of tuition.
50 here 38 years dipping. That bitch took alot of wonderful years away from me that could have been spent with my family! That was my fault, this time she's behind me and by God I will do everything in my power to keep her there and eventually buried Odaat! You can do this with the help from these badass quitters in here! Want it, live it, take it! It's yours and you the only one that can control but it doesn't have to be alone! Let's get this done!
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Hi,
I am 46 and have been married to Kodiak for 26 years, about a tin every day. I have tried to quit a few times, but never made it beyond the second week. I found this site back in January, but I was afraid to take the next step because I could see how sacred roll call is, and I was afraid to let everybody down (including myself).
My forever quit started yesterday when I dumped my last tin down the shitter. It took all of my strength to drive by the gas station this morning without stopping for a refill. I found another tin at work, but I dumped that bitch just before noon, then chased her down the trap with a dump of my own.
I am done, and no matter how bad the suck gets, I deserve all of it for being so weak and stupid for all of these years. My oldest daughter starts college in the fall, and that f%#@-ing bear stole her first two years of tuition.
Welcome Siggy to the best decision you could make, 44 here and 24+ yrs kodiak/grizzly, 53 days into my quit and here to tell you it is going to SUCK, then it will suck a little less and then SUCK some more. Get involved here, read all you can, post roll EDD and QUIT ODAAT!
Quit with you today!
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Quitting right along side you Siggy, though, not in quit such an elaborate fashion. Good luck to the both of us slaying the beast!
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Hi,
I am 46 and have been married to Kodiak for 26 years, about a tin every day. I have tried to quit a few times, but never made it beyond the second week. I found this site back in January, but I was afraid to take the next step because I could see how sacred roll call is, and I was afraid to let everybody down (including myself).
My forever quit started yesterday when I dumped my last tin down the shitter. It took all of my strength to drive by the gas station this morning without stopping for a refill. I found another tin at work, but I dumped that bitch just before noon, then chased her down the trap with a dump of my own.
I am done, and no matter how bad the suck gets, I deserve all of it for being so weak and stupid for all of these years. My oldest daughter starts college in the fall, and that f%#@-ing bear stole her first two years of tuition.
50 here 38 years dipping. That bitch took alot of wonderful years away from me that could have been spent with my family! That was my fault, this time she's behind me and by God I will do everything in my power to keep her there and eventually buried Odaat! You can do this with the help from these badass quitters in here! Want it, live it, take it! It's yours and you the only one that can control but it doesn't have to be alone! Let's get this done!
Will done posting roll Siggy Brother..
Your not going to believe how good it is on this side.
Spend the time necessary to quit.
Learn and read all you can, for the Truth really does set us free, and the biggest part of being an addict is not wanting to face the Truth.
I Lived in my own fantasy land for 38 Years not willing to look in the mirror, knowing good and well every day I was playing Russian Roulette. It just takes one weak cell to go bad and next thing you know... Your out of the family pictures.
Also.. Don't run from the suck... Fight it head on... Freedom is just on the other side.
You can endure, all you ever needed was support. You will find that here EDD ODAAT.
Welcome to KTC.
I quit with you all day!
Rawls
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Hi,
I am 46 and have been married to Kodiak for 26 years, about a tin every day. I have tried to quit a few times, but never made it beyond the second week. I found this site back in January, but I was afraid to take the next step because I could see how sacred roll call is, and I was afraid to let everybody down (including myself).
My forever quit started yesterday when I dumped my last tin down the shitter. It took all of my strength to drive by the gas station this morning without stopping for a refill. I found another tin at work, but I dumped that bitch just before noon, then chased her down the trap with a dump of my own.
I am done, and no matter how bad the suck gets, I deserve all of it for being so weak and stupid for all of these years. My oldest daughter starts college in the fall, and that f%#@-ing bear stole her first two years of tuition.
Congratulations! I quit with this BAQ today! Isnt it liberating to find that old can under the seat and take back that control its been stealing from you and dump the shit in the trash where it belongs!
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I believe in your quit bro. Just think you will never spit on your pecker again while taking a crap. You know you've done it.
Mogul
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I am happy to hear you drove past the gas station today. I know how hard that is to do as I have driven past several today and have had to fight the urge to pull in and get a can. My day 1 is today also. It has been a shit day, but you know what I have realized. This is my fault I feel this way. The level of suck that I am going through today is something that I have just come to terms with as I deserve this shit for putting my health and my families well being at risk everyday for the last 20 years.
Thx Heath,
Proud to get through the suck with you.
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I believe in your quit bro. Just think you will never spit on your pecker again while taking a crap. You know you've done it.
Mogul
Thx for believing bro. FYI, I may have grazed it once or twice, but I've always had pretty good aim.
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Feeling pretty shitty right now. Kinda feels like a hangover...dull headache, can't focus on anything, and my throat feels like it has a boner. I've decided that I have to burn that fucking gas station to the ground. I can't drive past that shit every morning for the rest of my life.
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Feeling pretty shitty right now. Kinda feels like a hangover...dull headache, can't focus on anything, and my throat feels like it has a boner. I've decided that I have to burn that fucking gas station to the ground. I can't drive past that shit every morning for the rest of my life.
There's always gonna be a gas station! You're going through the suck my friend! Remember every damn second of it that way you'll never stick that shit in your mouth again! It's tough but you can handle it if you want this! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
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I didn't understand the whole site the first few days, Sig, but I can tell you this: POST EVERY DAY! BUSY ISN'T AN EXCUSE! I missed one day until just before midnight and if this wasn't on the computer, I would have had my balls chopped off. I now see: we all have TRIED to quit before. Getting on here means we actually are GOING TO DO IT! I'm only 10 days in, but this is the most determined I have been. I have all these Goons relying on me as I rely on seeing their names each day.
Embrace the suck and use it: make this the only time you have to go through it. LOTS of water. Lots of working out. Get it in, get it done. And, yeah, don't spit on your pecker.
Proud to quit with you from the great state of NJ.
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Wow, today fucking sux. Very little sleep, night sweats, and my head won't stop pounding. I picked up some Smokey Mountain last night and it helps...a little. Water does help too. I deserve every minute of this suck for being such an asshole for all of these years. Thanks to everyone that reached out. I'm gonna need your help.
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Wow, today fucking sux. Very little sleep, night sweats, and my head won't stop pounding. I picked up some Smokey Mountain last night and it helps...a little. Water does help too. I deserve every minute of this suck for being such an asshole for all of these years. Thanks to everyone that reached out. I'm gonna need your help.
Your almost through the first 72 bud, it gets better, it only sucks until it doesn't and then it will be so amazing you cant even fathom it. Embrace the suck, it is your penance for the lies you told yourself and everyone around you the whole time you were using. it is also your armor, healing all the things that the bitch jacked up in your mouth, mind, and body. Own it, and take comfort in it, see it as the pain of a broken bone mending. Yes it hurts now, but that's no reason to go break your other arm. I quit with you today Siggy!
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Wow, today fucking sux. Very little sleep, night sweats, and my head won't stop pounding. I picked up some Smokey Mountain last night and it helps...a little. Water does help too. I deserve every minute of this suck for being such an asshole for all of these years. Thanks to everyone that reached out. I'm gonna need your help.
Your almost through the first 72 bud, it gets better, it only sucks until it doesn't and then it will be so amazing you cant even fathom it. Embrace the suck, it is your penance for the lies you told yourself and everyone around you the whole time you were using. it is also your armor, healing all the things that the bitch jacked up in your mouth, mind, and body. Own it, and take comfort in it, see it as the pain of a broken bone mending. Yes it hurts now, but that's no reason to go break your other arm. I quit with you today Siggy!
Hang in there siggy! We can do this together all of us but you gotta help us! Want it! Take it! It's yours! Your life back! Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend! Just an addict trying to help another addict!
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Had a June bro just save my quit. Thx Dano! Sorry for the fucking train wreck.
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Had a June bro just save my quit. Thx Dano! Sorry for the fucking train wreck.
Stay strong.... Don't let Dano down.
Some times the Quit turns to seconds and minutes.... Go for a walk. Or just run around the block.
And most important.... Do what you did again! And again! And again! REACH OUT FOR HELP.. don't try to do this alone... You will fail... You will succeed with getting ahold of your new brothers here on KTC.
I just sent my digits... Collect and USE AS MAN AS YOU CAN GET.
I respect your quit... You can do this.
Rawls
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Had a June bro just save my quit. Thx Dano! Sorry for the fucking train wreck.
Siggy, I had a moment of weakness yesterday myself, but my quit too was saved. We both should have hit out 72 hours now. Embrace that, and be happy that you made it past the hardest part. I know that I am proud to say that i quit with you.
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Keep up that quit Siggy. Grit your teeth and embrace that suck. I'm quit with you today.
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Nice. Fresh quit. You are winning. Getting that poison out of your body. Excellent work.
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Had a June bro just save my quit. Thx Dano! Sorry for the fucking train wreck.
Siggy, I had a moment of weakness yesterday myself, but my quit too was saved. We both should have hit out 72 hours now. Embrace that, and be happy that you made it past the hardest part. I know that I am proud to say that i quit with you.
Well done gentlemen. This why KTC and brotherhood are so important. Before you came here, you didn't have each other to lean on in times of weakness. Now you have pillars of quit to lean on. Build that foundation and wall of quit as strong as you can, especially since you've already experienced the importance of that foundation.
Brotherhood + Accountability = Success
Live and die by that moto
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Day 5: Not too bad. The fog started to lift and the craves were tolerable. Slight headache, but feeling better about my chances of kicking this bitch in the teeth. Tomorrow, I will quit again with my goons.
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Siggy I'm proud to be quit with you brother. Watching you take the bull by the horns today, snag digits and reach out to a brother Goon was heartwarming. Boom!
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Day 5: Not too bad. The fog started to lift and the craves were tolerable. Slight headache, but feeling better about my chances of kicking this bitch in the teeth. Tomorrow, I will quit again with my goons.
Right on! Right on siggy! Damn good job my friend! Stay focused and know you've got this! Attitude, willpower go a long was a defeating this nic bitch! You have problems reach out for help that's why you're here and we're here! Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend! Just an addict trying to help another addict!
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Stay focused on just today soggy. ODAAT and before you know it, you will be laughing at the bitch. You are winning and making a whole new life for yourself. It will become evident to you before long. Keep on fighting.
Mogul
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Siggy- congrats on one full week free of the posion- your body and mind is loving this freedom. Keep up the good work, focus, and own your quit- there will be GREAT days ahead and there will be ROUGH ones as well. We start each one the same by posting roll.
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Day 9: Got some sleep last night and that makes everything seem a little better. My quit is totally bi-polar...good days are really good; bad days are a total rage, there's no middle ground. There's lots of support with the goons; no doubt we're getting through this together. Tomorrow...double digits. ODAAT
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Day 9: Got some sleep last night and that makes everything seem a little better. My quit is totally bi-polar...good days are really good; bad days are a total rage, there's no middle ground. There's lots of support with the goons; no doubt we're getting through this together. Tomorrow...double digits. ODAAT
Nice job. Nicotine dulled your life, so the best way that I can put it is that life is now in "high definition." The peaks are higher and the valleys are lower, but day by day it gets better, trust me!
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Day 9: Got some sleep last night and that makes everything seem a little better. My quit is totally bi-polar...good days are really good; bad days are a total rage, there's no middle ground. There's lots of support with the goons; no doubt we're getting through this together. Tomorrow...double digits. ODAAT
Nice job. Nicotine dulled your life, so the best way that I can put it is that life is now in "high definition." The peaks are higher and the valleys are lower, but day by day it gets better, trust me!
Siggy - that a boy - you are kicking this habit to the curb. Keep it up. PM me if you need support. I'm proud to be quit with you.
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Huge milestone for me today...day 15. I've never stopped this long before (2 weeks was the previous record). Things are starting to clear up, but still not sleeping very well. Craves are mild to moderate...nothing I can't handle.
The wife has been very involved and supportive. I've prepared her for the rage and told her to have an escape plan if I start being a dickhead. This morning, she said that I've actually been easier to get along with over the past two weeks. Pre-quit, I was pushing her away so I could dip without getting caught. You never have to worry about a hug / kiss from a pissed off wife. It's hard to believe that this poison has taken so much from me and my family.
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Huge milestone for me today...day 15. I've never stopped this long before (2 weeks was the previous record). Things are starting to clear up, but still not sleeping very well. Craves are mild to moderate...nothing I can't handle.
The wife has been very involved and supportive. I've prepared her for the rage and told her to have an escape plan if I start being a dickhead. This morning, she said that I've actually been easier to get along with over the past two weeks. Pre-quit, I was pushing her away so I could dip without getting caught. You never have to worry about a hug / kiss from a pissed off wife. It's hard to believe that this poison has taken so much from me and my family.
Amen siggy! Life is a joy again without nic! Love it when olé lady reaches over spontaneously and gives me big hug and kiss! Never happened before. It gets better and better, day 93 and I've found several different things that have gotten better and nothing that's gotten worse without the cancer dirt! Learn to feel the rage coming on and walk off, you can do it. Stay quit my brother! Damn proud to be quit with you today! Just an addict trying to help another addict!
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Congrats on hittin the hall!
100 to infinity.
I quit with you today!
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Nice effing 100 Sig. Every day I look forward to seeing your name on roll. Thanks for being there brother.
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Huge milestone for me today...day 15. I've never stopped this long before (2 weeks was the previous record). Things are starting to clear up, but still not sleeping very well. Craves are mild to moderate...nothing I can't handle.
The wife has been very involved and supportive. I've prepared her for the rage and told her to have an escape plan if I start being a dickhead. This morning, she said that I've actually been easier to get along with over the past two weeks. Pre-quit, I was pushing her away so I could dip without getting caught. You never have to worry about a hug / kiss from a pissed off wife. It's hard to believe that this poison has taken so much from me and my family.
I think that you have broken you last record by 486 days. Keep at it quitter!
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Huge milestone for me today...day 15. I've never stopped this long before (2 weeks was the previous record). Things are starting to clear up, but still not sleeping very well. Craves are mild to moderate...nothing I can't handle.
The wife has been very involved and supportive. I've prepared her for the rage and told her to have an escape plan if I start being a dickhead. This morning, she said that I've actually been easier to get along with over the past two weeks. Pre-quit, I was pushing her away so I could dip without getting caught. You never have to worry about a hug / kiss from a pissed off wife. It's hard to believe that this poison has taken so much from me and my family.
I think that you have broken you last record by 486 days. Keep at it quitter!
Congrats on 500 Siggy!
Chick 486.