KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Rooter on June 08, 2018, 02:07:00 PM
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It's time I introduce myself to this group of quitters. I am Rooter and have been chewing since I was 13. Now in my 30's it is time to quit. I am married with two young children. We own a small farm where we raise chickens, a couple of goats and depending on the next few months... maybe a damn horse.
For work, I am a member of the US military... USAF. Currently deployed to the Middle East where I have begun my life change of quitting everyday. Has been a bit easier as we don't have alcohol and they don't sell my brand Copenhagen long cut. That is not to say the challenges are present as it seems everyone either chews, smokes or this new ungodly fashion vapes. Also have the added advantage of sweating out all the toxins. When it's hitting 120 each day, you tend to lose all that crap quicker and that forces me to drink loads of water.
As like many of you, I tried to quit before and as you can probably assume, was unsuccessful. That has lead me to here, KTC. The idea of quitting only for today... for one day at a time. To quit just for today. Get up and repeat that everyday.
So why am I quitting today?
1. My family. I have a loving wife and two small children that I want to watch grow up. I don't want to miss time with them doing the things that we love because I am too busy hiding my addiction.
2. I started to add up the costs of what I was spending in a month on chew. It was this number and some financial struggles that we are going through that really put things in perspective. I was being a selfish ass by spending 20 plus a week on chew while my wife went without on some things.
3. Honestly I am tired of being a slave to a can. I am tired of having to find my variety of chew. I am tired of buying a bottle of water to just have a spitter. I am tired of always having to look in the mirror to see if I had chew in my teeth prior to going into a meeting. I am tired of the nasty looks I get from people as I walk around with a spitter in my hand. I am tired of wondering if I had enough chew to make it through the day. I am tired of having to ensure I was stocked up on chew for certain occasions. I am tired of lying to my family and friends. I am tired of hiding my addiction.
So while I am deployed, I don't have a working cell phone plan for text or calls. But here is what I do have, my word. My word is my oath to you that everyday when I type my name on that roll call that I will be nicotine free. That I will not use for today. If you need me... email me. Can't promise I will always be quick to reply but I will do my best.
I look forward to quitting with you today.
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Day 7. You realize just how much of an addict you are when in a stressful situation. That stress used to cause make me pack that lip. Today I actually felt the adrenaline rush not fueled or enhanced by nicotine. Was a different feeling. One that I can get used to. Just have to find ways to get that feeling more often.
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Welcome. I also have a small farm. Chickens, goats, cattle. I draw the line at horses.
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Welcome. I also have a small farm. Chickens, goats, cattle. I draw the line at horses.
Please save me from this idea that horses will be fun. Lol. I wanted to started with a few cattle but the family doesn't want that. Instead we are going to have damn horses.
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Day 11... early morning of day 11 for me. Got the workout in and was walking back to the living quarters when the strongest crave I have had yet hit. That nic bitch was so strong she was enticing me and spewing some tough shit. She whispered, "you haven't posted roll yet. You won't break your promise if you use before you post roll." This brought me to a moment of clarity...KTC will work if you give it the right amount of effort. I am here spouting about this because I know there are fellow quitters who have felt the same way. Quitters who know what I am going through and are willing to help. But more than anything , I am here because I realize just how big of an addict I am. so on this early morning... I quit for the next 24 hours.
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I like your style man.
1. Thank you for your service sir.
2. One day at a time. Your stronger than you even know. And your brain has to have time to rewire itself from the shit you've put it through. I hope you have a way to reach out before the next crave hits. Somehow, some way, have a plan. She'll hit when your at your weakest point.
Your doing one hell of a job so far, no reason to turn back now.
Day 157 and quit with you.
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Rooter iit's great to follow your struggles and successes. You are doing awesome bro - totally aware, owning your quit, and kicking nicotine's ass.
IQWYT
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It’s days like today that test my will power. I am sure we have all had that day when nothing goes right. Seems the world is plotting against us... yep, well that was today. But having quit for 15 days in a row today was something different. Today was a day when I didn’t resort to chew to make things “better”. I didn’t turn towards that cancer causing can. So today I am extra proud of my quit!
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For those of you who use the fake... good lord have you lost all taste? I tried the Smokey mountain wintergreen. Shit made me want to vomit. Could be cause itÂ’s probably older than dirt over here, but that can tastes like crap. Dry nasty worm dirt. So I am looking for suggestions for a fake to have on hand for when the craves hit really bad!
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3. Honestly I am tired of being a slave to a can.
This. This has the power to carry you through any cravings. Freedom. People have fought and died for freedom.
All you have to do is not put nicotine in your body.
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Dip sucks, quit rules, I quit with you today.
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For those of you who use the fake... good lord have you lost all taste? I tried the Smokey mountain wintergreen. Shit made me want to vomit. Could be cause itÂ’s probably older than dirt over here, but that can tastes like crap. Dry nasty worm dirt. So I am looking for suggestions for a fake to have on hand for when the craves hit really bad!
Grinds brother, its just coffee in a pouch, doesn't really give you that mouth feel like smokey mountain does but it helps. Plus gives you a little kick of caffeine. I've been using them to replace my afternoon cup of coffee for a few years now. Caramel is my go to flavor, irish cream is also pretty good. They should ship over there fairly quickly, my brother in law used them when he was deployed and never had any complaints about them drying out.
Grinds Flavors (https://www.getgrinds.com/collections/flavors)
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For those of you who use the fake... good lord have you lost all taste? I tried the Smokey mountain wintergreen. Shit made me want to vomit. Could be cause itÂ’s probably older than dirt over here, but that can tastes like crap. Dry nasty worm dirt. So I am looking for suggestions for a fake to have on hand for when the craves hit really bad!
Jakes mint chew pouches. Quitting has been much easier than I thought. But I was using pouches previously for the last few years after 35+ years of skoal original.
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For those of you who use the fake... good lord have you lost all taste? I tried the Smokey mountain wintergreen. Shit made me want to vomit. Could be cause itÂ’s probably older than dirt over here, but that can tastes like crap. Dry nasty worm dirt. So I am looking for suggestions for a fake to have on hand for when the craves hit really bad!
Grinds brother, its just coffee in a pouch, doesn't really give you that mouth feel like smokey mountain does but it helps. Plus gives you a little kick of caffeine. I've been using them to replace my afternoon cup of coffee for a few years now. Caramel is my go to flavor, irish cream is also pretty good. They should ship over there fairly quickly, my brother in law used them when he was deployed and never had any complaints about them drying out.
Grinds Flavors (https://www.getgrinds.com/collections/flavors)
Thanks. Will give those a go!
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Day 21- well they say cravings will hit at bad times and well that is true. As I lay here in this wonderful tent sweating my ass off at 9 am because the ac doesnÂ’t work well in high temps a desire to break down and go buy a can swept over me. For most people this would mean jumping in the car and driving to the c store and picking up a can. For the deployed Rooter that would have meant walking over to the bx and buying what ever flavor of cancer they had in stock. But alas I am holding strong. Have already worked out to the point of shaking so that is off the table. I still have laundry to do... but that requires some motivation. So think I will just lay here for a bit and roll around in my self pity. I have no one else to blame but myself and big tobacco. Nobody else made me an addict but myself and the tobacco industry. So big tobacco if I take my share of the blame will you take yours? No didnÂ’t think so. So for today, hereÂ’s a big fuck you to the tobacco industry. IÂ’ll save my quit, carry on for another day, and save that $5 to spend on something that wonÂ’t kill me.
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Loving you and your quit Rooter. Congratulations on the THREE WEEKS. That's a major accomplishment. Regarding the craves, your brain is still rewiring itself. It takes time. A lot of it is anxiety, frustration, even anger and these are a normal part of the human experience. We have conditioned our brain to interpret them as cravings for nicotine. They're really not. That little bit was an epiphany for me; if nicotine is not part of the problem (after 72 hours is out of the system), it cannot logically be part of the solution.
BubbaM in June chronicled that the 'crave' is the mind functioning from the brain stem in a primitive fight or flight mode. To move to the temporal lobes and out of the crave, one needs to visual or auditory cues, i.e. pictures of loved ones, or relaxing music (the metal and heavy percussion that most folks listen to in the gym shift you INTO the brain stem, something like Mozart or Beethoven shift you out).
Very pleased you've made it three weeks man. Really. Proud to be quit with you today.
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Day 24... sandstorms are continuing. Gotta love that feeling of grit in your mouth. One thing that I have realized the last couple of days is that I was a boredom dipper. Sitting here bored and the desire to dip to pass the time hits strong. Guys around me are filling their lips with cancer. I will just suck away at my jolly rancher. I am quit. Also just doing the math helps me realize how much money I have saved just on chew... $120. ThatÂ’s a huge sum of money in 24 days.
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Rooter,
Your thread is inspirational man. Way to hang in there. I cant wait to be three weeks in like you.
I noticed I am a boredom dipper and eater too. Once I quit eating for fun i dropped 10 pounds in like 2 weeks. I aint no fatty either!
The dipping thing also sucked up time. I never realized it before, but I could literally throw a chew in and be entertained. Now I have time to actually do things that are productive.
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Damn......Just........Damn! Thanks for helping make it possible for me to live freely and do the things I truly love while you sacrifice by being away from your family, in which I can tell you love and miss dearly! Thanks my friend and IÂ’m damn proud to quit with you ODAAT! Prayers for you all
Pab 1279
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As we roll into July itÂ’s a huge month for me. First, it is the first time I can remember where I will celebrate the 4th without nicotine. That is huge to me. Second, itÂ’s my anniversary month with the wife... happens to fall on the 4th. See guys thatÂ’s how you do it, get married on a holiday so you will never forget the date! Third itÂ’s the wifeÂ’s birthday. CanÂ’t think of anything else that I want to give her than a healthy nicotine free husband. Last, hope that this is the month that I make it back to the states. That means some long travel days and some new challenges this month. But as long as I quit one day at a time I will be fine! LetÂ’s kick this months ass and have some quality quit!
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As we roll into July itÂ’s a huge month for me. First, it is the first time I can remember where I will celebrate the 4th without nicotine. That is huge to me. Second, itÂ’s my anniversary month with the wife... happens to fall on the 4th. See guys thatÂ’s how you do it, get married on a holiday so you will never forget the date! Third itÂ’s the wifeÂ’s birthday. CanÂ’t think of anything else that I want to give her than a healthy nicotine free husband. Last, hope that this is the month that I make it back to the states. That means some long travel days and some new challenges this month. But as long as I quit one day at a time I will be fine! LetÂ’s kick this months ass and have some quality quit!
Happy anniversary Rooter! She will not get only healthy nicotine free husband but also a stronger man who is not a slave to this short-term pleasure. Quit with you today, tomorrow and all July.
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Interesting morning here from the sandbox. Went to the bx (shopping center) here on Base. The nicotine just like everywhere else in the world is kept near the checkout. Of course I got the opportunity to buy some things. As I stand at the checkout I see all the cans of cancer. I was looking for a can of smoky mountain... of course they have none. So the rest of the cans start calling me. They have all the different kinds loaded to the edge of the shelf just waiting. I gazed lovingly into her eyes as I gave her the big “f off.” But it made me think about you guys and my early morning promise to quit. If I didn’t have that roll posted would I have given in? I don’t know but it’s not a risk I am going to take! Moral of the story... post roll early and hit the site often.
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Interesting morning here from the sandbox. Went to the bx (shopping center) here on Base. The nicotine just like everywhere else in the world is kept near the checkout. Of course I got the opportunity to buy some things. As I stand at the checkout I see all the cans of cancer. I was looking for a can of smoky mountain... of course they have none. So the rest of the cans start calling me. They have all the different kinds loaded to the edge of the shelf just waiting. I gazed lovingly into her eyes as I gave her the big “f off.” But it made me think about you guys and my early morning promise to quit. If I didn’t have that roll posted would I have given in? I don’t know but it’s not a risk I am going to take! Moral of the story... post roll early and hit the site often.
Rooter you are absolutely right. The promise given to all these people here and also to our selves makes the difference. They say quit only for yourself, BUT not alone. The support is the most important thing I did not understand last years and the reason I failed so many times is that I was trying to do it alone.
So, thank you for these wise words and I quit today with you of course.
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Have a story that I need to share with you all. As many of you know i am in the military and currently overseas. Part of the redeployment process or outprocessing if you will is to see a military doctor. After answering a full questionnaire about everything from what I have done to how I feel I get to meet with the doctor. Now one of the questions is something to the effect of how irritable are you... I answer somewhat. This answer sends alarm bells ringing through the place as everyone is supposed to be happy living in tents, 120 degree heat, sandstorms and doing our jobs. Anyway I tell the doctor I am also quitting dipping. His next breath was what medicines are you on? As if there was no other option. I look at this doctor and reply with, none... I am cold turkey. Now this guy sounds like one of those that would fit right in with the old site as he goes into some long story about why it is ok to use and to ween yourself off nicotine and how if I slip everything will be ok. He offers me a prescription of some sort for nicotine replacement... as I look at him in the eyes and tell him no thanks I am free of nicotine, why would I reintroduce that into my body? He stares at me like I was stupid as I shake his hand and turn to leave. I know I was shaking my head in disbelieve. How is it this site has it figured out but others can not grasp that? How is it even health care professionals want to give us the drug that our bodies crave? ThatÂ’s like giving more dope to a dopehead. I just had to share this interesting piece of my day with you all. Stay quit. ODAAT
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Have a story that I need to share with you all. As many of you know i am in the military and currently overseas. Part of the redeployment process or outprocessing if you will is to see a military doctor. After answering a full questionnaire about everything from what I have done to how I feel I get to meet with the doctor. Now one of the questions is something to the effect of how irritable are you... I answer somewhat. This answer sends alarm bells ringing through the place as everyone is supposed to be happy living in tents, 120 degree heat, sandstorms and doing our jobs. Anyway I tell the doctor I am also quitting dipping. His next breath was what medicines are you on? As if there was no other option. I look at this doctor and reply with, none... I am cold turkey. Now this guy sounds like one of those that would fit right in with the old site as he goes into some long story about why it is ok to use and to ween yourself off nicotine and how if I slip everything will be ok. He offers me a prescription of some sort for nicotine replacement... as I look at him in the eyes and tell him no thanks I am free of nicotine, why would I reintroduce that into my body? He stares at me like I was stupid as I shake his hand and turn to leave. I know I was shaking my head in disbelieve. How is it this site has it figured out but others can not grasp that? How is it even health care professionals want to give us the drug that our bodies crave? ThatÂ’s like giving more dope to a dopehead. I just had to share this interesting piece of my day with you all. Stay quit. ODAAT
Love the story! But as you may already know everything in life revolves around money
Drugs=money
YouÂ’re doing it right my friend. I pray that you will get home soon. Stay safe and quit on! ODAAT
PAB 1284
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Day 32... have been in a world of spins. Feels like I am buzzed... would be fun except there is no end to it. ItÂ’s one of those spins where I would have to put my foot on the floor. Seems this kind of physical response occurs with others as well. ThatÂ’s one of the great things about this site, can consult with others who know exactly what you feel. As opposed to the doctor I mentioned previously who had no idea what I am experiencing.
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Nicotine affects blood sugar levels and your body may still be adjusting. I had some issues with that where I'd be walking and thought I was going to pass out. Haven't had it happen for a while now. Didn't think of it until you brought it up.
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Day 39. I have pissed off the Nic Bitch. She is fighting for me to come lay with her in bed. This morning it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was craving hard. I turn to KTC for some answers. As I read through the site I read of men who are currently in the hospital with a kid, read of fathers to be worried about their unborn child, read about guys struggling each day to fight off the nicotine monster. ItÂ’s not an easy task. ItÂ’s not a fun task and some days I wonder if it is even rewarding. You see that is the addict brain still working. Still asking and questioning almost 40 days in. Wondering if this is really what I want. What I need to be doing. What I should be doing. I know deep down it is but that addict brain of mine continues to play games.
There is no “I” in TEAM, but there’s an “I” in QUIT!
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Well soon I will be hitting the 50 day mark. Half way to the HOF. A milestone to be celebrated, I guess. As I sit here I wonder what am I supposed to feel? What is different about day 50 from day 1? What is gonna be different about day 100 from day 50? I am still an addict. I am not cured of anything. I still have to make that promise to not use nicotine one day at a time. I still need the accountability, maybe more so now than ever before. You see I am seeing folks fall off now. They think they are cured. They think that they have the addiction whipped. I know I donÂ’t. I know that if given the chance my brain would have me buying a tin of cancer and stuffing my lip. I know that cause I have been at this point before. I know what would happen. This time is different. This quit isnÂ’t about long term success, this quit is about today! TODAY I quit. I will be a man of my word and quit for today. And if God is willing I will be back tomorrow for another daily dose of quit!
So half way to the HOF and I have figured out that I need this site. I need the accountability. I need to read of others failures and successes. I need to see what thinking you are cured can do. I am not gonna celebrate, I am not gonna boast and brag. I am gonna post my daily promise to quit and go about my day. Facing the day for what it is, a gift and realizing that today is just another day in the life of an addict!
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Well soon I will be hitting the 50 day mark. Half way to the HOF. A milestone to be celebrated, I guess. As I sit here I wonder what am I supposed to feel? What is different about day 50 from day 1? What is gonna be different about day 100 from day 50? I am still an addict. I am not cured of anything. I still have to make that promise to not use nicotine one day at a time. I still need the accountability, maybe more so now than ever before. You see I am seeing folks fall off now. They think they are cured. They think that they have the addiction whipped. I know I donÂ’t. I know that if given the chance my brain would have me buying a tin of cancer and stuffing my lip. I know that cause I have been at this point before. I know what would happen. This time is different. This quit isnÂ’t about long term success, this quit is about today! TODAY I quit. I will be a man of my word and quit for today. And if God is willing I will be back tomorrow for another daily dose of quit!
So half way to the HOF and I have figured out that I need this site. I need the accountability. I need to read of others failures and successes. I need to see what thinking you are cured can do. I am not gonna celebrate, I am not gonna boast and brag. I am gonna post my daily promise to quit and go about my day. Facing the day for what it is, a gift and realizing that today is just another day in the life of an addict!
You are doing awesome! And like you I plan on being here for some time. We can plan on keeping each other accountable indefinitely! Congrats on the turn and letÂ’s finish this thing off! Call or text anytime!!
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It's been Monday all week for me Rooter. A scant 200 days ago, were it not for this site and the MEN I roll with I'd be on my second tin today. Not gonna do it. Gonna reach for a brother not a can. Very looking forward to your safe return to give you a holler and roll with you!
Say, do you like pictures?
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Day 77. Got back to the states and holy crap didn’t realize how easy it was to quit while deployed. The “game” has changed back home. Stresses are different, opportunities are different, and everyone around me is using it seems. But with all of that, it’s realistically easy to quit... just one day, one hour, or in really bad times one minute at a time. Repeat as often as necessary.
Had an interesting thing happen at work... got in the work truck and there in the center cup holder was someoneÂ’s spitter. DidnÂ’t realize how sickining that really was until that moment when I had to take another persons uncapped spitter and throw it out.
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Day 77. Got back to the states and holy crap didn’t realize how easy it was to quit while deployed. The “game” has changed back home. Stresses are different, opportunities are different, and everyone around me is using it seems. But with all of that, it’s realistically easy to quit... just one day, one hour, or in really bad times one minute at a time. Repeat as often as necessary.
Had an interesting thing happen at work... got in the work truck and there in the center cup holder was someoneÂ’s spitter. DidnÂ’t realize how sickining that really was until that moment when I had to take another persons uncapped spitter and throw it out.
You are so damn impressive! You have been through so much and are still quit! I love that I can be in this group with you! LetÂ’s keep rollin brother!!! You got this!!!
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Day 77. Got back to the states and holy crap didn’t realize how easy it was to quit while deployed. The “game” has changed back home. Stresses are different, opportunities are different, and everyone around me is using it seems. But with all of that, it’s realistically easy to quit... just one day, one hour, or in really bad times one minute at a time. Repeat as often as necessary.
Had an interesting thing happen at work... got in the work truck and there in the center cup holder was someoneÂ’s spitter. DidnÂ’t realize how sickining that really was until that moment when I had to take another persons uncapped spitter and throw it out.
You are so damn impressive! You have been through so much and are still quit! I love that I can be in this group with you! LetÂ’s keep rollin brother!!! You got this!!!
It is sobering in the extreme to view addiction from the outside. Having abused it ourselves, we have a perspective uniquely our own. I'm glad to see you've acquired it.
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Rooter, nice on the hundy my man. Enjoy the freedom you so selflessly sacrificed for!