KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Rza0331 on March 28, 2015, 03:45:00 PM
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I've been off of chew for 14 days today! This may not sound like much, but it is the longest I have gone without nicotine in my system for 17 years. Once a while ago I quit for 3 weeks with the use of a nicotine patch and gum, but I don't count that anymore.
I quit because obviously I've always wanted to, but in actuality, it was a blood test that tested for nicotine. Failing that test meant that I would be paying a lot of money for a policy. So I just quit. Just like that, took my last dip, and said tomorrow is it. And it has been. The way that I did it was that I told myself that I only had to quit until I finished the blood test, then on the way home, I would grab a can and all will be right with the world. The whole first week that kept it alive for me. I literally dreamed about that dip! Then I had the blood taken, and drove home, and by the time I got there realized I hadn't even thought about stopping off for a can. This in itself is something that I have never experienced. Typically when I quit (for a day) the next morning I'm at the store pretending I need something else, and nic/crackhead takes over from there. This time has been different! So I set another goal, next week when my wife and kids are out of town for a few days, I have am stuck here working. I told myself I'd get just one can for that night. Not that I actually plan to, but it has seemed to help this far... BTW, the test came back negative for nicotine, and that made me so proud of myself, I figured there has to be another way than promising myself a dip at some point, so matter how successful it has been.
Now I keep telling myself, I've made it this far, and if I slip, whenever I quit again, I'll just have to go through this entire thing all over again. And that one dip I told myself I could have, would turn back into a can a day quick fast in a hurry.
I've never been this deep into a real quit, and it feels awesome, but that doesn't make it any easier. That and the fact that my entire mouth feels like I'm a burnt snake peeling skin from the inside out has helped a bit as well. The other day I woke up and wondered what the hell I ate that burned my entire mouth, then I realized I was just healing. I think at this point a dip would make me want to cry it would hurt so bad.
Last night I sat there thinking about how much I miss it, and then I remembered a few months ago I tried to quit (the time with the patches) and found this site, and I thought it was time to get serious about it, so here I am.
Here is a little about my quit/ reasons- if that's what we do here??
Age- 37
Poison of Choice- Used to be Cope longcut, until Grizzly 1900 came out and I got 3 cans for the price of 1 Cope.... that was dangerous!! I felt like fat kids with a 50% less sugar product "great, now I can have twice as much"!!
Amount- Roughly 3 cans every 2 days--- god thats disgusting!
Married, 2 kids- My wife loves that I have quit, and is willing to help me out however she needs to. Just making through the first two weeks is huge. I'm sure I've been a Grizzly (pardon the pun) to deal with. My kids are supportive as well. Whenever I get impatient with them they say "you're not mad at me Daddy, your mouth is mad at you for not dipping, but I'm proud of you, so you can yell at me if you want!"
Job- I run a Landscape Construction business, and am outdoors in the dirt all day... pretty much the worst job you can have to quit dipping. Luckily no one else on my crew dips, and are typically all over me about quitting, so I have support there as well.
How I started. As a machine-gunner in the Marines, we would have to stay up for hours on fire watch after hiking up and down mountains with full gear all day. One day a guy said, here have this, it'll keep you up. I had never even smoked a cigarette at that point in my life (20 years old) so I said sure, and the rest is history...
The difference. The difference is that this time, I truly have no intention of going back. I read a story the other night about a guy that was playing around on a ski trip and "accidentally" had some fall in his mouth... well, my situation is different in that I am the ONLY person I can hold accountable! I am the only one I know that dips, so having one is all on me. I have to go to the store, stand in line, consciously ask for it, pay for it, break it open, find a spitter, etc... so its all me, meaning the ol housewife excuse..." it slipped and fell in"... just won't work. (haha)
All that said. I still think about it a lot, not enough to weaken my resolve, but, it does stay pretty fresh on my mind. I just ordered some of that TeaZa, and so I'll have that next week. But aside from that here is what has worked so far
Seeds... I mean an insane amount of seeds.., jerky chew, salt and vinegar kettle chips have done the trick, not sure why. And when I am out, and feel like stopping by a gas station, I treat myself to something else, like food. I tell myself, "don't stop off and grab a can, and you can grab sub, or a burrito, whatever you feel like, and head home and eat it!" Not the healthiest technique, but I did read somewhere here- whatever you have to do to keep dip out of your mouth, right?
Problem is, I'm missing the actual taste and texture. There is that nic-head in there screaming at me saying... WTF is this shit??? WHERE IS MY GRIZZLY BITCH!!! Just have to keep trucking.
Anyway, I woke up this morning proud as hell, so I figured it would be a great time to introduce myself. Because I feel my mind slowly starting to go to the "I've gone this far, I can quit anytime I want, now that I've proved I can, so just a little won't hurt" phase, and I think I might need some assistance from some Bros. Thanks in advance for the help fellas.
Rza
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Nice intro. I work in road construction so i can relate. I like your mindset on anything but dip. Seeds, snacks, fake stuff whatever it takes. Smokey mountain has a great herbal nicotine free. Wal mart carries or order online. They have a match for pretty much any brand. Keep up the quit and the whatever it takes mentality. Failure is not an option here. Im quit with you today. Pm if you need some digits.
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Great intro RZA. Thanks for coming forward. It's a tough road to stay quit but keep it up and read all you can. If you post roll and get involved quitting becomes so much easier. Proud to be quit with you today!
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Great intro RZA. Thanks for coming forward. It's a tough road to stay quit but keep it up and read all you can. If you post roll and get involved quitting becomes so much easier. Proud to be quit with you today!
Hey my friend in here is where you wanna be and we are waiting my friend! Get in here and post roll and get you some badass quit going! Next moves your's! Just an addict trying to help another addict!
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Thanks Fellas! I look forward to it! Have a great Sunday. I'm headed up the mountain to do some snowboarding with the fam, so its an easy day for me. I may think about it from time to time, but won't have a chance to do anything about it.
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Nice intro RZA,
Sounds like you have a good quit started. If I could give a little advice from an addict that's a few months ahead of where you are at today. That advice would be to quit romancing nicotine. It is not your friend, buddy, or a reward for completing a task. It is however a pesticide which was slowly killing you. As a former chew romancer, I can tell you those quits always end up getting fucked in the ass by the nic bitch. Learn to despise it for all the money it sucked out of your pocket and all the time it took from spending with your family.
Enjoy the mountain....I'll quit with you today
Napa
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Love the intro, RZA. Keep kicking ass. Please get pissed at nicotine....I'd like to borrow your line for my signature ("you're not mad at me Daddy, your mouth is mad at you for not dipping, but I'm proud of you, so you can yell at me if you want!" since it hurt my heart as I remembered all the shit my kids had to go through in dealing with my nicotine addiction over the years. Glad you're quit....you should be proud...and it sounds like you've got a great wife and family to back you up. I'll quit with you every damn day!
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Welcome to KTC and the June Goons, brother. Post that roll early, every damn day and get to know the Goons and Vets alike. We are with you now.
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Napa, that is awesome advice!! I do romance and glorify the shit out of nic still! It sucks! But I see why I do... I mean there are things that I do all the time that I don't think I have EVER done without a dip in: Hunting, Clean my Guns, hunting, wax my snowboard, hunting, fishing, etc... Things that I LOVE to do, that have ALWAYS been associated with that shit I put in my mouth. Next week I am heading out to the range for the day. I have clean 10 guns before we go, and 10 after I get back. I think that will probably be the biggest test yet. I may lean hard on some bruvs those few days!
I do love the fact that I don't have to hide in the office and pretend to be working on something, or pretend to take an hour long shit, or stay up until 2am just to get one in after my wife goes to sleep. When you quit and look back on it... I always felt like a badass with a dip in, now I see I was more like a crackhead!! Pretty embarrassing really.
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Solid intro bud. Good for you. My quit date was the same. Stay strong bro.
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Congrats on your quit and thank your for your service in the Marines ...
Saw your reference to TeaZa in your intro and I looked it up -
Good stuff and just placed an order
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Remember my friend everything you talk about and feel, we've all pretty much experienced it! I crave almost every day and I've been quit 101 days. But I know I definitely never want that shit in my mouth ever again! Thanks for your service! Remember anyone can dip but very few can defeat the nic bitch! I quit with you today!
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Hey Fellas, wanted to update, because I know I don't get on here much anymore. I figured I would post because I know that everyone is different, and it helps to hear different sides of the same story.
First things first- TeaZa Review-
For those of you that haven't tried it, I would. I got the 4 pack of black cherry flavor, and to be honest didn't know what to expect. I only really saw one review with any details... Anyway, I really dig this shit. One of the best things is the fact that if I want to I can have a spit bottle and it acts in my cheek just like a good dip. Not the "why the fuck did you sell me this 2 week old dust" dip, but a good fresh dip. This is important for me because I found that all the acts of taking a dip is a big part of the addiction, at least for me, and I didn't really see how much that was true before. I can also be around those that dip (random dudes on the construction site) and still look like I have one in without having to try to explain my quit to someone not ready. I can also just hide it in the side, and no one knows its even there. The taste of the pouches is also very nice. The first time I kissed my wife with one in she wanted another one... see if that would have gone my way with a dip in... And you can also get a little bit of a caffeine buzz, and sometimes a bit of a brief and light headache. To me I don't mind, because especially in the morning, its like the first dip of the day feeling. One con... I am not positive if its the pouches, or the mix of the pouches and seeds, but it seems to be almost like fiberglass on my tongue, which took a good week or two to get over. Anyway. I would for sure give them a try. Its the first supplement I have tried that didn't piss me off just for trying to be dip. I will say, I also think it helped to have the nic bitch a few weeks out of my system. I just tonight ordered another 8 packs! On shipping- the regular USPS will take forever (nearly a full 2 weeks)!! it sucked waiting so long for it. I went with the priority this time. I'll let you know how quick it comes.
2nd- Yes I am still quit and rolling strong. I know that most peeps that drop off the map, pick it back up, but not I. Actually we had spoke about romanticizing dip, and I found that I started to do that here. I wouldn't think about it in the morning until I went to post roll, and then I would want to check my post reply's all day, and read other people's stories, and it put dip in my head all day. I know tons of dudes need that, constant support throughout, and I'm sure I will again soon, I will not knock it in the least bit. Just right now, out of sight out of mind has done me well. Sometimes you have to know what tool to use for the situation.
I am writing to let the guys know that invested time in my quit that I didn't bail, and appreciate everything, and in fact will probably need you again soon. I know I'm not out of the woods, and I know to come here and use this tool whenever I need it. A truly awesome community you all are. Thanks again brothers,
Rza
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Hey Fellas, wanted to update, because I know I don't get on here much anymore. I figured I would post because I know that everyone is different, and it helps to hear different sides of the same story.
First things first- TeaZa Review-
For those of you that haven't tried it, I would. I got the 4 pack of black cherry flavor, and to be honest didn't know what to expect. I only really saw one review with any details... Anyway, I really dig this shit. One of the best things is the fact that if I want to I can have a spit bottle and it acts in my cheek just like a good dip. Not the "why the fuck did you sell me this 2 week old dust" dip, but a good fresh dip. This is important for me because I found that all the acts of taking a dip is a big part of the addiction, at least for me, and I didn't really see how much that was true before. I can also be around those that dip (random dudes on the construction site) and still look like I have one in without having to try to explain my quit to someone not ready. I can also just hide it in the side, and no one knows its even there. The taste of the pouches is also very nice. The first time I kissed my wife with one in she wanted another one... see if that would have gone my way with a dip in... And you can also get a little bit of a caffeine buzz, and sometimes a bit of a brief and light headache. To me I don't mind, because especially in the morning, its like the first dip of the day feeling. One con... I am not positive if its the pouches, or the mix of the pouches and seeds, but it seems to be almost like fiberglass on my tongue, which took a good week or two to get over. Anyway. I would for sure give them a try. Its the first supplement I have tried that didn't piss me off just for trying to be dip. I will say, I also think it helped to have the nic bitch a few weeks out of my system. I just tonight ordered another 8 packs! On shipping- the regular USPS will take forever (nearly a full 2 weeks)!! it sucked waiting so long for it. I went with the priority this time. I'll let you know how quick it comes.
2nd- Yes I am still quit and rolling strong. I know that most peeps that drop off the map, pick it back up, but not I. Actually we had spoke about romanticizing dip, and I found that I started to do that here. I wouldn't think about it in the morning until I went to post roll, and then I would want to check my post reply's all day, and read other people's stories, and it put dip in my head all day. I know tons of dudes need that, constant support throughout, and I'm sure I will again soon, I will not knock it in the least bit. Just right now, out of sight out of mind has done me well. Sometimes you have to know what tool to use for the situation.
I am writing to let the guys know that invested time in my quit that I didn't bail, and appreciate everything, and in fact will probably need you again soon. I know I'm not out of the woods, and I know to come here and use this tool whenever I need it. A truly awesome community you all are. Thanks again brothers,
Rza
Glad you are still quit. But this place isn't for just coming and going as you please, and that doesn't sit well with us in June, at least me. This pisses me off quit a bit honestly that you think it's okay to just do whatever is convenient for you. This place isn't just about getting support when you want it, it's also about giving support, accountability, and brotherhood. And you are no brother of mine with your current mindset. This isn't facebook. We aren't here for status updates.
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RZA, thanks for the status update. However, you still don't get it. I just typed out a whole paragraph, then saw that brother JKE had already laid it out for you spectacularly. We are not just a bunch of sniveling cravers holding each others hands, waiting to cave. We are building a net of brotherhood and accountability that will take us forward together. Your status updates do nothing for us and when you need that net, it won't be there for you...and as you said, you WILL need it. Get your selfish ass back in and start posting EDD.
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I am accountable for that. I gave up on that excuse I put that red man in myself I caved fair and square you got me. I also put a tin in my mouth. I'm also on day 49 of quitting and in proud of that. I read that intro and I loved it. Proud of you for quitting but where have you been? You called me out on caving in calling you out on missing roll.
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Hey Fellas, wanted to update, because I know I don't get on here much anymore. I figured I would post because I know that everyone is different, and it helps to hear different sides of the same story.
First things first- TeaZa Review-
For those of you that haven't tried it, I would. I got the 4 pack of black cherry flavor, and to be honest didn't know what to expect. I only really saw one review with any details... Anyway, I really dig this shit. One of the best things is the fact that if I want to I can have a spit bottle and it acts in my cheek just like a good dip. Not the "why the fuck did you sell me this 2 week old dust" dip, but a good fresh dip. This is important for me because I found that all the acts of taking a dip is a big part of the addiction, at least for me, and I didn't really see how much that was true before. I can also be around those that dip (random dudes on the construction site) and still look like I have one in without having to try to explain my quit to someone not ready. I can also just hide it in the side, and no one knows its even there. The taste of the pouches is also very nice. The first time I kissed my wife with one in she wanted another one... see if that would have gone my way with a dip in... And you can also get a little bit of a caffeine buzz, and sometimes a bit of a brief and light headache. To me I don't mind, because especially in the morning, its like the first dip of the day feeling. One con... I am not positive if its the pouches, or the mix of the pouches and seeds, but it seems to be almost like fiberglass on my tongue, which took a good week or two to get over. Anyway. I would for sure give them a try. Its the first supplement I have tried that didn't piss me off just for trying to be dip. I will say, I also think it helped to have the nic bitch a few weeks out of my system. I just tonight ordered another 8 packs! On shipping- the regular USPS will take forever (nearly a full 2 weeks)!! it sucked waiting so long for it. I went with the priority this time. I'll let you know how quick it comes.
2nd- Yes I am still quit and rolling strong. I know that most peeps that drop off the map, pick it back up, but not I. Actually we had spoke about romanticizing dip, and I found that I started to do that here. I wouldn't think about it in the morning until I went to post roll, and then I would want to check my post reply's all day, and read other people's stories, and it put dip in my head all day. I know tons of dudes need that, constant support throughout, and I'm sure I will again soon, I will not knock it in the least bit. Just right now, out of sight out of mind has done me well. Sometimes you have to know what tool to use for the situation.
I am writing to let the guys know that invested time in my quit that I didn't bail, and appreciate everything, and in fact will probably need you again soon. I know I'm not out of the woods, and I know to come here and use this tool whenever I need it. A truly awesome community you all are. Thanks again brothers,
Rza
Glad you are still quit. But this place isn't for just coming and going as you please, and that doesn't sit well with us in June, at least me. This pisses me off quit a bit honestly that you think it's okay to just do whatever is convenient for you. This place isn't just about getting support when you want it, it's also about giving support, accountability, and brotherhood. And you are no brother of mine with your current mindset. This isn't facebook. We aren't here for status updates.
Well said JK! I'll stand by anyone who quits with the program. I needed this group to quit after 26 years of failed quits. If you can do it on your own great. But don't rub our noses in it. If you want to quit by yourself why'd you join? As for me, I'm posting my promise everyday with JK.
PS. RZa, Don't call us "brothers". My brothers post roll everyday with me.
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Hey Fellas, wanted to update, because I know I don't get on here much anymore. I figured I would post because I know that everyone is different, and it helps to hear different sides of the same story.
First things first- TeaZa Review-
For those of you that haven't tried it, I would. I got the 4 pack of black cherry flavor, and to be honest didn't know what to expect. I only really saw one review with any details... Anyway, I really dig this shit. One of the best things is the fact that if I want to I can have a spit bottle and it acts in my cheek just like a good dip. Not the "why the fuck did you sell me this 2 week old dust" dip, but a good fresh dip. This is important for me because I found that all the acts of taking a dip is a big part of the addiction, at least for me, and I didn't really see how much that was true before. I can also be around those that dip (random dudes on the construction site) and still look like I have one in without having to try to explain my quit to someone not ready. I can also just hide it in the side, and no one knows its even there. The taste of the pouches is also very nice. The first time I kissed my wife with one in she wanted another one... see if that would have gone my way with a dip in... And you can also get a little bit of a caffeine buzz, and sometimes a bit of a brief and light headache. To me I don't mind, because especially in the morning, its like the first dip of the day feeling. One con... I am not positive if its the pouches, or the mix of the pouches and seeds, but it seems to be almost like fiberglass on my tongue, which took a good week or two to get over. Anyway. I would for sure give them a try. Its the first supplement I have tried that didn't piss me off just for trying to be dip. I will say, I also think it helped to have the nic bitch a few weeks out of my system. I just tonight ordered another 8 packs! On shipping- the regular USPS will take forever (nearly a full 2 weeks)!! it sucked waiting so long for it. I went with the priority this time. I'll let you know how quick it comes.
2nd- Yes I am still quit and rolling strong. I know that most peeps that drop off the map, pick it back up, but not I. Actually we had spoke about romanticizing dip, and I found that I started to do that here. I wouldn't think about it in the morning until I went to post roll, and then I would want to check my post reply's all day, and read other people's stories, and it put dip in my head all day. I know tons of dudes need that, constant support throughout, and I'm sure I will again soon, I will not knock it in the least bit. Just right now, out of sight out of mind has done me well. Sometimes you have to know what tool to use for the situation.
I am writing to let the guys know that invested time in my quit that I didn't bail, and appreciate everything, and in fact will probably need you again soon. I know I'm not out of the woods, and I know to come here and use this tool whenever I need it. A truly awesome community you all are. Thanks again brothers,
Rza
Glad you are still quit. But this place isn't for just coming and going as you please, and that doesn't sit well with us in June, at least me. This pisses me off quit a bit honestly that you think it's okay to just do whatever is convenient for you. This place isn't just about getting support when you want it, it's also about giving support, accountability, and brotherhood. And you are no brother of mine with your current mindset. This isn't facebook. We aren't here for status updates.
Well said JK! I'll stand by anyone who quits with the program. I needed this group to quit after 26 years of failed quits. If you can do it on your own great. But don't rub our noses in it. If you want to quit by yourself why'd you join? As for me, I'm posting my promise everyday with JK.
PS. RZa, Don't call us "brothers". My brothers post roll everyday with me.
Well put!^^^^^ Sometimes a special :scowick: comes along that don't need ktc they can do it alone all I can say is goodluck and hopefully want see you here with another day 1 and saying same shit all cavers say!