KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: clairmontblues on July 24, 2014, 12:57:00 PM
-
First of all, I apologize to all killthecan members for my being delinquent in posting my introduction. Without you and this site, I know I'd not have made it this far. Today is my 32nd day. I began posting roll on day my day 15. I chewed and dipped for most of the last 37 years.
Brief summary of the progression of my addiction.....
1977........Began with Beechnut scrap and Levi Garrett. Ch
1978........started alternating loose leaf plug and twist with the occasional can of Skoal fine cut.
Remember getting a flyer published by U.S. Tobacco extolling the virtues of "just a pinch between cheek and gum". This particular pamphlet even acknowledged that the dipper might get a rough white patch on the gums, but that it was okay and nothing to worry about!!
1980.....beginning high school and introduced to Copenhagen...........Wow, now it was on. I was tough. Not just every guy could stand the cope and not get sick. Quickly began dipping more often. I was hooked and didn't even know it yet.
1983.... beginning college, late night studying (dipping seemed to make that much more bearable).
1984.....pledged to quit when the price of a can reached $1.00
........okay, I'll quit when it gets above $1.50.......etc. etc.
through the years, switched brands.........Cougar, Red Seal, Longhorn, Stokers.........then Grizzly for the last five years.
Many attempts to quit. All were only short lived stops.
Most of you know the drill..........I'll quit with this new job. I'll quit for this girl or that girl or when I get married. I'll quit if this sore turns out not to be cancer. I'll quit when my kids are born................on and on and on............ but never.....
Then in late June, for some reason on a Monday, without having planned a quit or given it much recent thought, it just hit me; Today is the day. (6/23)
The first three days were pure hell. Days after were hell of a different sort, fighting off the rationalizations that always beat my prior attempts. I found a link to KTC on my computer from some years earlier and begin reading. The honest revelations were familiar. All the wasted time and money. The crazy excuses to find ways to sneak a dip really hit home.
So here I am, 32 days in. Thanks to those who've I've talked with so far. Thanks to CBird65 and Scowick65 for getting me started. Special thanks to Bronc and Southpaw32 sharing numbers and for taking my roll post by text this past weekend. I will keep reading and post roll everyday. One day at a time, I'm quit.
-
Welcome aboard. Sounds like you are off to a good start and have already received invaluable advise from some of the members.
Congrats.
-
Welcome aboard. Sounds like you are off to a good start and have already received invaluable advise from some of the members.
Congrats.
Welcome Clairmont to best place on the planet to "get" quit and "stay" quit.
ODAAT is the only way to "control" an addiction like this poison.
I quit with you today....just today.
keep on reading/learning about this poison that has taken so much from us.
We gain our freedom everyday our feet hit the floor.
Cheers to You. You're not here by accident.
-
Good stuff. You "get it". Welcome aboard.
-
First of all, I apologize to all killthecan members for my being delinquent in posting my introduction. Without you and this site, I know I'd not have made it this far. Today is my 32nd day. I began posting roll on day my day 15. I chewed and dipped for most of the last 37 years.
Brief summary of the progression of my addiction.....
1977........Began with Beechnut scrap and Levi Garrett. Ch
1978........started alternating loose leaf plug and twist with the occasional can of Skoal fine cut.
Remember getting a flyer published by U.S. Tobacco extolling the virtues of "just a pinch between cheek and gum". This particular pamphlet even acknowledged that the dipper might get a rough white patch on the gums, but that it was okay and nothing to worry about!!
1980.....beginning high school and introduced to Copenhagen...........Wow, now it was on. I was tough. Not just every guy could stand the cope and not get sick. Quickly began dipping more often. I was hooked and didn't even know it yet.
1983.... beginning college, late night studying (dipping seemed to make that much more bearable).
1984.....pledged to quit when the price of a can reached $1.00
........okay, I'll quit when it gets above $1.50.......etc. etc.
through the years, switched brands.........Cougar, Red Seal, Longhorn, Stokers.........then Grizzly for the last five years.
Many attempts to quit. All were only short lived stops.
Most of you know the drill..........I'll quit with this new job. I'll quit for this girl or that girl or when I get married. I'll quit if this sore turns out not to be cancer. I'll quit when my kids are born................on and on and on............ but never.....
Then in late June, for some reason on a Monday, without having planned a quit or given it much recent thought, it just hit me; Today is the day. (6/23)
The first three days were pure hell. Days after were hell of a different sort, fighting off the rationalizations that always beat my prior attempts. I found a link to KTC on my computer from some years earlier and begin reading. The honest revelations were familiar. All the wasted time and money. The crazy excuses to find ways to sneak a dip really hit home.
So here I am, 32 days in. Thanks to those who've I've talked with so far. Thanks to CBird65 and Scowick65 for getting me started. Special thanks to Bronc and Southpaw32 sharing numbers and for taking my roll post by text this past weekend. I will keep reading and post roll everyday. One day at a time, I'm quit.
Nice post blue, and welcome home brother.
Like you, I just, one day told my wife, "This is it. I'm done." She had begged, and bitched, and fought about it with me for 11 years, but one day, I just had that moment.
Once you have the mindset, the rest is academic.
Congrats on 32, bro. One month +1.
-
First of all, I apologize to all killthecan members for my being delinquent in posting my introduction. Without you and this site, I know I'd not have made it this far. Today is my 32nd day. I began posting roll on day my day 15. I chewed and dipped for most of the last 37 years.
Brief summary of the progression of my addiction.....
1977........Began with Beechnut scrap and Levi Garrett. Ch
1978........started alternating loose leaf plug and twist with the occasional can of Skoal fine cut.
Remember getting a flyer published by U.S. Tobacco extolling the virtues of "just a pinch between cheek and gum". This particular pamphlet even acknowledged that the dipper might get a rough white patch on the gums, but that it was okay and nothing to worry about!!
1980.....beginning high school and introduced to Copenhagen...........Wow, now it was on. I was tough. Not just every guy could stand the cope and not get sick. Quickly began dipping more often. I was hooked and didn't even know it yet.
1983.... beginning college, late night studying (dipping seemed to make that much more bearable).
1984.....pledged to quit when the price of a can reached $1.00
........okay, I'll quit when it gets above $1.50.......etc. etc.
through the years, switched brands.........Cougar, Red Seal, Longhorn, Stokers.........then Grizzly for the last five years.
Many attempts to quit. All were only short lived stops.
Most of you know the drill..........I'll quit with this new job. I'll quit for this girl or that girl or when I get married. I'll quit if this sore turns out not to be cancer. I'll quit when my kids are born................on and on and on............ but never.....
Then in late June, for some reason on a Monday, without having planned a quit or given it much recent thought, it just hit me; Today is the day. (6/23)
The first three days were pure hell. Days after were hell of a different sort, fighting off the rationalizations that always beat my prior attempts. I found a link to KTC on my computer from some years earlier and begin reading. The honest revelations were familiar. All the wasted time and money. The crazy excuses to find ways to sneak a dip really hit home.
So here I am, 32 days in. Thanks to those who've I've talked with so far. Thanks to CBird65 and Scowick65 for getting me started. Special thanks to Bronc and Southpaw32 sharing numbers and for taking my roll post by text this past weekend. I will keep reading and post roll everyday. One day at a time, I'm quit.
Nice post blue, and welcome home brother.
Like you, I just, one day told my wife, "This is it. I'm done." She had begged, and bitched, and fought about it with me for 11 years, but one day, I just had that moment.
Once you have the mindset, the rest is academic.
Congrats on 32, bro. One month +1.
Your story and your age are very close to mine. I half assed tried to quit hundreds of times for my wife and kids. Tried being a chemist and mixing fake and real in decreasing proportions then going full strength again. One day, after 24 years of that shit I woke up with my mouth so sore everywhere and I just got pissed and quit. The time was right I guess. This is the best place I could have found to help me and I have made some truly lifelong friends here. Welcome brother. You are doing great!
-
First of all, I apologize to all killthecan members for my being delinquent in posting my introduction. Without you and this site, I know I'd not have made it this far. Today is my 32nd day. I began posting roll on day my day 15. I chewed and dipped for most of the last 37 years.
Brief summary of the progression of my addiction.....
1977........Began with Beechnut scrap and Levi Garrett. Ch
1978........started alternating loose leaf plug and twist with the occasional can of Skoal fine cut.
Remember getting a flyer published by U.S. Tobacco extolling the virtues of "just a pinch between cheek and gum". This particular pamphlet even acknowledged that the dipper might get a rough white patch on the gums, but that it was okay and nothing to worry about!!
1980.....beginning high school and introduced to Copenhagen...........Wow, now it was on. I was tough. Not just every guy could stand the cope and not get sick. Quickly began dipping more often. I was hooked and didn't even know it yet.
1983.... beginning college, late night studying (dipping seemed to make that much more bearable).
1984.....pledged to quit when the price of a can reached $1.00
........okay, I'll quit when it gets above $1.50.......etc. etc.
through the years, switched brands.........Cougar, Red Seal, Longhorn, Stokers.........then Grizzly for the last five years.
Many attempts to quit. All were only short lived stops.
Most of you know the drill..........I'll quit with this new job. I'll quit for this girl or that girl or when I get married. I'll quit if this sore turns out not to be cancer. I'll quit when my kids are born................on and on and on............ but never.....
Then in late June, for some reason on a Monday, without having planned a quit or given it much recent thought, it just hit me; Today is the day. (6/23)
The first three days were pure hell. Days after were hell of a different sort, fighting off the rationalizations that always beat my prior attempts. I found a link to KTC on my computer from some years earlier and begin reading. The honest revelations were familiar. All the wasted time and money. The crazy excuses to find ways to sneak a dip really hit home.
So here I am, 32 days in. Thanks to those who've I've talked with so far. Thanks to CBird65 and Scowick65 for getting me started. Special thanks to Bronc and Southpaw32 sharing numbers and for taking my roll post by text this past weekend. I will keep reading and post roll everyday. One day at a time, I'm quit.
Nice post blue, and welcome home brother.
Like you, I just, one day told my wife, "This is it. I'm done." She had begged, and bitched, and fought about it with me for 11 years, but one day, I just had that moment.
Once you have the mindset, the rest is academic.
Congrats on 32, bro. One month +1.
Your story and your age are very close to mine. I half assed tried to quit hundreds of times for my wife and kids. Tried being a chemist and mixing fake and real in decreasing proportions then going full strength again. One day, after 24 years of that shit I woke up with my mouth so sore everywhere and I just got pissed and quit. The time was right I guess. This is the best place I could have found to help me and I have made some truly lifelong friends here. Welcome brother. You are doing great!
A few of us remember the 70's, keep vigilant every day and win.
-
Gents,
Thanks for your comments and support.
I can think of a thousand things I should have included in my intro but didn't..........
Like how not only did I stay up after all the family had gone to sleep so that I could pack in a fat one instead of the mini dips I "snuck" while they were around, but that I'd go to bed still with the shit in my lip thinking that I'd get up at the last possible second before sleeping to spit it out only to typically fall asleep often to wake the next morning with the ground Medusa weed still working its evil spell between the cheek and gum, which of course were sore as hell from the almost constant abuse of the offending poison. So I'd get up, spit it out and then..........well you know the answer don't you?
-
So I'm sitting here at 222 days. Oddly, the last two weeks have been a bit of a struggle. Was it some part of the healing process that took this long to manifest? or just some confluence of events that precipitated a string of craves. Well it's a reminder that this is a continual process; the urgency of it has waned but we must remain vigilant. The bitch remains lurking in the shadows, still whispering. The craves did not become caves. Quit on brothers.
-
So I'm sitting here at 222 days. Oddly, the last two weeks have been a bit of a struggle. Was it some part of the healing process that took this long to manifest? or just some confluence of events that precipitated a string of craves. Well it's a reminder that this is a continual process; the urgency of it has waned but we must remain vigilant. The bitch remains lurking in the shadows, still whispering. The craves did not become caves. Quit on brothers.
Awesome that you recognized it, clairmont. Keep fighting. Quit with you today, and Every Damn Day.
-
So I'm sitting here at 222 days. Oddly, the last two weeks have been a bit of a struggle. Was it some part of the healing process that took this long to manifest? or just some confluence of events that precipitated a string of craves. Well it's a reminder that this is a continual process; the urgency of it has waned but we must remain vigilant. The bitch remains lurking in the shadows, still whispering. The craves did not become caves. Quit on brothers.
Damn proud to be quit with a brother that had this shit in his mouth about as long as myself and has been quit 22 2 days that's damn awesome! Stay quit my brother we will always be addicts but we can kick that nic bitch in the ass each and every day Odaat!