KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Ansaka on August 03, 2009, 07:10:00 PM
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OK guys I admit my weakness...Snuff ! Now that is out of the way I need your help on how to start the quit on this 35 year habit, yes, 35 frickin years.. 'embarrassed' I have attempted it before but cant get past the "I want to hurt something" feeling. I become so mean I cant stand myself and no one else can be around me. I need advice on how to deal with the anger. I know the symptoms like the fog, headaches, etc.. but 35 years of anger comes blazing out of me and my family gets the blunt of it....
Please help me, I want to quit so bad
Thanks,
Ansaka
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There is no way around it: quitting is going to suck for a while. You have to be resolved that you are going to succeed no matter what the addiction throws at you, and then focus on managing the symptoms. It sounds like you're on the right track.
Here are some ideas for managing the anger:
1. Come to this site and rant. Abuse us; we've been exactly where you are now, we understand, and we can take it. Chances are your family will not understand and should not have to take your shit.
2. For the first few weeks, you may have to pretend to be calm and pretend that you don't hate everything. You don't have to like it, you just have to do it.
3. Find a harmless outlet for your anger. A few of my favorites:
- Beating on a trash can with an axe handle.
- Working a punching bag with my heavy work boots on.
- Smashing holes in scrap plywood with a framing hammer.
4. Accept that you will just be uncomfortable and pissed off for a while and just be ready to live with it. I really found that once I accepted it, the anger and withdrawals became a non-issue.
The foundation of quitting on this site is posting roll call promising not to use nicotine today. Then all you have to do is keep your promise for the day, and come back tomorrow and do it again. You can start your quit right now if you spit out the dip and post a day-1 in the November quit group. Hundreds of people on this site have quit successfully by following this simple approach; you can too. Here are a couple of links to get you started:
roll call... why we do it (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=120)
how to post roll call (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50)
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Thanks for the reply...I thought about all the stress outlets in my garage and beating things up with an axe handle sounds kinda fun 'na na' Once again thanks for the help
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Thanks for the reply...I thought about all the stress outlets in my garage and beating things up with an axe handle sounds kinda fun 'na na' Once again thanks for the help
Exercise was a great outlet for my anger.
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I was thinking about every time the anger urge came around I would need to drop and do 20 or 30 push ups and sit ups..thanks for the tip ! These ideas are just what I was looking for.
Ansaka
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Here is the MSN Online Dictionary definition of "attempt". (http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_/attempt.html) -- (Underlined text is the source)
at·tempt [ ə témpt ]
transitive and intransitive verb (past and past participle at·tempt·ed, present participle at·tempt·ing, 3rd person present singular at·tempts)
Definition:
try to do something: to try to do something, especially without much expectation of success
Does that answer any question you may have had about why it didn't take? This site isn't about trying or making an attempt, it's about quitting. It's about drawing a line in the sand that will not be crossed. And as NKT pointed out, the way that happens is by posting roll call. Will it suck? yip. Will it be well worth it? absofuckinglOOTly.
I haven't mentioned this in quite a while, but I will pass along a promise that was made to me by a really badass quitter a while ago. I promise you that you will NEVER wake up and wish you caved yesterday. So post your promise to not use tobacco for today by posting roll and then keep your word. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, whatever it takes.
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ok..good point. No attempting allowed this time
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No doubt it is going to be a test of your self control.... Not only are you quitting lipshitz...
You have to quit you assholian tendancies....
Being a dbag and lashing out, was a way for me to distract myself, even for a few seconds for the dipmonkey on my back.... For the sake of those around u don't be a dick... At least pretend your not a dick... Bite the tongue and smile... 35 yrs on the can I'm sure its just as tough as 15 or 20 to get off.... Only difference 15 or 20 years of dip $$$$ is a bad ass boat... At 35 yrs u spit a beech house... And 35 yrs ur pushing ur luck, my friend... The butcher ie; doctors are real, and want to chop u up..
So put on ur happy face even if its bullshit...
Next year is coming if your dipping or not... So be the dude who's not.....
Harcore quitters have friends around here...
Fuckyoukodiak!!!
Ray in connecticut
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Ansaka: I see that you haven't posted roll yet, I take that as meaning you're still waiting to take the plunge. What are you waiting for? It will never seem like the perfect time to quit. I suggest RIGHT NOW as a perfect time to start. But at least set a date and time.
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Bearattack,
You are right that I have spent enough to buy a boat or many other toys. Also, I know quitting after 15 years is as hard as 35, I wasnt man enough to quit back then or at 20 yrs or 25 yrs. The sad part is I have never spit. I dont carry spit cans around i have swallowed juice for years, I fall asleep with it in my mouth. Point is you are 100% correct that the Butcher is sharpening tools waiting for my dumbass to show up. And thats why I will quit this time because I look at what Im doing to myself and my family. Now the Hypocrite part, I work in healthcare and tell people they shouldnt smoke and should quit , all along im saying this when I have a lip full of crap. Sad but true. Thanks for being blunt with me I need that approach.
Thanks Dude,
Ansaka
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I take that as meaning you're still waiting to take the plunge. What are you waiting for? It will never seem like the perfect time to quit. I suggest RIGHT NOW as a perfect time to start. But at least set a date and time.
You are right, now is as good of time as ever...Im gathering all my cans up now to dump them out. I will be a quitter today! And I will give it 110% of my power to quit this time and stay a quitter.
Thanks
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I take that as meaning you're still waiting to take the plunge. What are you waiting for? It will never seem like the perfect time to quit. I suggest RIGHT NOW as a perfect time to start. But at least set a date and time.
You are right, now is as good of time as ever...Im gathering all my cans up now to dump them out. I will be a quitter today! And I will give it 110% of my power to quit this time and stay a quitter.
Thanks
Right fucking on!!!
Get ready for a hell of a ride for the next few days, but know this: It does get better, and the rewards of being quit are sure as hell worth the pain of quitting. You can do this.
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Get ready for a hell of a ride - and the rewards of being quit are sure as hell worth the pain of quitting. You can do this.
I know you are right so here we go....game on! The cans have been dumped and about to face the Nic monster face to face 'arse' Im on vacation this week so I will have a chance to get past the worst part without dealing with people at work, just me and the monster head to head. Thanks for all the inspiration.
Lets get it on,
Ansaka
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A non spitter dry dipper. Been there....
I trust u respect us enough not to read our posts w a dip in.... Like an unwritten rule here..
We're not boy scouts but self valor and honor are the only things that hold this joint together.... As far as being a hypocrite who gives a fuck... That's how you make your dough... Quit now.. It will suck no matter what...I drive work chill shower drink beers and takes dumps wo a dip in, you'll soon realize what a hard work maintaining a stash hiding it etc, .. U will too!!!!!
Let's do it to it....
Ray
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I trust u respect us enough not to read our posts w a dip in.... Like an unwritten rule here..
We're not boy scouts but self valor and honor are the only things that hold this joint together....
Let's do it to it....
Done deal..I posted Day 1 quit. I respect sitting here with a dip in is WRONG, so when I say I quit I mean it. If I were to dip again I would come clean. But, no more dip!
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No doubt it is going to be a test of your self control.... Not only are you quitting lipshitz...
You have to quit you assholian tendancies....
Being a dbag and lashing out, was a way for me to distract myself, even for a few seconds for the dipmonkey on my back.... For the sake of those around u don't be a dick... At least pretend your not a dick... Bite the tongue and smile... 35 yrs on the can I'm sure its just as tough as 15 or 20 to get off.... Only difference 15 or 20 years of dip $$$$ is a bad ass boat... At 35 yrs u spit a beech house... And 35 yrs ur pushing ur luck, my friend... The butcher ie; doctors are real, and want to chop u up..
So put on ur happy face even if its bullshit...
Next year is coming if your dipping or not... So be the dude who's not.....
Harcore quitters have friends around here...
Fuckyoukodiak!!!
Ray in connecticut
A beach house where, in Haiti?
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I trust u respect us enough not to read our posts w a dip in.... Like an unwritten rule here..
We're not boy scouts but self valor and honor are the only things that hold this joint together....Â
Let's do it to it....
Done deal..I posted Day 1 quit. I respect sitting here with a dip in is WRONG, so when I say I quit I mean it. If I were to dip again I would come clean. But, no more dip!
Glad to see you make the decision. Now, we all take this very, very seriously. You have given your word that you will not dip today. Concentrate on today. Tomorrow morning, post a day 2. Concentrate on that day. Repeat. Repeat. It will suck, then it will get easier.
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Glad to see you make the decision. Now, we all take this very, very seriously. You have given your word that you will not dip today. Concentrate on today. Tomorrow morning, post a day 2. Concentrate on that day. Repeat. Repeat. It will suck, then it will get easier.
Thanks for the support...These first 6 hrs are hell but Im sticking to the plan. And as many of you say it does get better with time. These next few days will be tough but it will be done
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I was asked why after 35 yrs did you decide to stop. Well like many for my kids, family, and cost savings, etc,,,But one thing hit home hard.
I have worked in hospital ICU's, ER's Trauma and so on. Not much struck me as I have learned to block out most things. I would have a dip in my mouth the entire shift too, stupid me because I never spit.
But one day a buddy I have known for years was told he had cancer and he was a dipping buddy of mine. After several surgeries he no longer looked like anyone I knew, his face and neck had so much removed it appeared he had been attacked by a shark. Long story short after many months of suffering and battling he died at young age of 45. I would visit his room and I still had a lip full of Cope, his mother I knew well looked at me and said straight up, This is you real soon and how can you still be dipping while looking at him. I felt many emotions at that time and mostly I felt like I showed disrespect to her and the family. I have never felt lower in my life.
Sorry I just need to get this off my chest and let you know its real, this addiction is a monster in many ways! Im an addict and need to win this battle. I hope you win too and quit and stay quit! Im only at day 4 but this is the best place and support I have found.
Ansaka
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I was asked why after 35 yrs did you decide to stop. Well like many for my kids, family, and cost savings, etc,,,But one thing hit home hard.
I have worked in hospital ICU's, ER's Trauma and so on. Not much struck me as I have learned to block out most things. I would have a dip in my mouth the entire shift too, stupid me because I never spit.
But one day a buddy I have known for years was told he had cancer and he was a dipping buddy of mine. After several surgeries he no longer looked like anyone I knew, his face and neck had so much removed it appeared he had been attacked by a shark. Long story short after many months of suffering and battling he died at young age of 45. I would visit his room and I still had a lip full of Cope, his mother I knew well looked at me and said straight up, This is you real soon and how can you still be dipping while looking at him. I felt many emotions at that time and mostly I felt like I showed disrespect to her and the family. I have never felt lower in my life.
Sorry I just need to get this off my chest and let you know its real, this addiction is a monster in many ways! Im an addict and need to win this battle. I hope you win too and quit and stay quit! Im only at day 4 but this is the best place and support I have found.
Ansaka
wow.....just.....wow.
big case of reality slapped you upside the head. I remember reading thru and looking at Outdoor Texan's web page and having that moment of clarity that cancer is very real...not just a concept.....and yeah, it happens to folks that I have a lot in common with...
http://www.outdoortexan.com/warning.htm (http://www.outdoortexan.com/warning.htm)
and it could happen to me......
Dedicate this quit to yourself first, family second.....and as a memorial to your friend.....
You are done......we WILL help.
Read, read and read some more....learn from those that have gone before....learn from your brothers beside you...
we are all in this together......I will ask that you have my back.....
And i will most definitely have yours......you need a number, pm me....
Post roll first thing in the morning...then keep your word for that day.....
over and over....it works.
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I was asked why after 35 yrs did you decide to stop. Well like many for my kids, family, and cost savings, etc,,,But one thing hit home hard.
I have worked in hospital ICU's, ER's Trauma and so on. Not much struck me as I have learned to block out most things. I would have a dip in my mouth the entire shift too, stupid me because I never spit.
But one day a buddy I have known for years was told he had cancer and he was a dipping buddy of mine. After several surgeries he no longer looked like anyone I knew, his face and neck had so much removed it appeared he had been attacked by a shark. Long story short after many months of suffering and battling he died at young age of 45. I would visit his room and I still had a lip full of Cope, his mother I knew well looked at me and said straight up, This is you real soon and how can you still be dipping while looking at him. I felt many emotions at that time and mostly I felt like I showed disrespect to her and the family. I have never felt lower in my life.
Sorry I just need to get this off my chest and let you know its real, this addiction is a monster in many ways! Im an addict and need to win this battle. I hope you win too and quit and stay quit! Im only at day 4 but this is the best place and support I have found.
Ansaka
Wow, powerful story. I'm very sorry about your friend. Thanks for sharing.
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What's up ansaka????
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What's up ansaka????
Today is Day 10 of the quit if my math is correct. I have attempted quits before with no luck , but now with the support I have been getting on this website its going so much better. Thx to all !
Ansaka
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Watchin'n u motherfucker...... Like what I see