KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Slick on June 09, 2016, 04:27:00 PM
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Well, lets just call me Slick.
I turn 40 at the end of June 2016.
It all started on a back porch at the young age of 14. My pap (Grandfather), on my dad's side. My pap chewed. Big guy, he could carry an iron railroad tie across the back of his shoulders. He worked in a machine shoppe when he was not busting skulls as Justice of the Peace in the small neighborhood I grew up in.
So I learned to chew from him. I never really stopped. I never really abused tobacco until I hit my late 30's. I would smoke a couple cigars, have a chew or 2, drink some whiskey. I was on top of the world. Wrong... so wrong I was and still am.
I quit for good May 28th, 2016. before the 28th, I did not touch the dreaded weed since May 1, 2016. But I had a moment to be alone. I wanted to know what it would feel like again. In short, I kept it in for 10-15 minutes. Spit it out and threw the can in the trash. In the past, when I threw the can in the trash, I would go fish it back out a couple hours later. But this time was different. I let it go. Now, i have 2 cans in the basement freezer that I know I have to deal with. They have been down there since the beginning of MAY. I totally dread going down there to handle them, so they shall stay buried in the bottom of the chest freezer until I feel pretty confident that I can man up and go trash them instead of trying to sell them on ebay. I just say that because I hate wasting money.
Anyways, day 13.. I do not like the number 13... but today has been odd. I posted last week about embalming a guy who had oral cancer. it is not the first time, I have embalmed every kind of case you could think of. Pieced a lot of them back together as well. But for some reason, this one choked me up. I hardly ever connect the dots with the deceased because just like 1st responder's, I would end up being a basket case, drinking and rocking myself to sleep in a corner of the room at night because my mind would not let go of the images etched into it.
I got extremely angry.... my temper is a short fuse to begin with because I ate a shit sandwich for 10 years of my career until I piped up and took charge of it. Anyways, I was angry... I was angry at this guy... I was angry that I was headed down the same road as this guy..... and I wondered.... how the bloody hell did this guy let it go this far!!!!! How am I traveling down the same path as this guy missing his upper pallet, lower left jaw and tongue. pathetic. he did it to himself and I am doing it to myself too!!
I always threw a chew in before embalming.... I been embalming the last 13 days without it. I feel great. I wake up at night almost drowning in spit. I have to sit up, cough and grasp for air.
I think I am having chew dreams.
On another note: I dunno what it is but water taste buttery to me. It taste like there is butter in it. Am I crazy?
I am headed back to the gym. I felt great my college days going to the gym every night at 9 PM. I think it is time to get back in there and pray I do not blow anything out and end up on the injured reserve list for weeks/months. My best friends from school do not do any form of tobacco but they do hit the gym every night at the age of 40 and 41. Wish they lived closer to me.
Well that is me.
I need some support. I am not afraid to ask you all for it. HELP! some days I want to isolate myself. Other days I am on top of the world..... my only advise.... STAY BUSY!!!.. do not let your mind take you down a bad road. You will find yourself in ditch on the road of life. ONLY you can pull yourself out of that ditch and get on the right path... ONLY YOU!
;)
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Welcome, Slick. Nice job posting Roll.
If you do that every day in the morning, as early as you can, before you leave the house, and keep your promise, you'll be all set. Grab some numbers from your quit brothers. That way, you'll build your web of accountability. People to contact if you feel the need, whatever the need is.
My number is just a PM away.
As far as wasting money - I can completely relate. Think of it this way - every single dime you spent on tobacco in your entire life was a complete waste. Get rid of those cans yesterday.
Proud to quit with you.
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Welcome to freedom. This site will give you the tools you need to stay quit as long as you use them. A word of advice, those cans you have in the freezer, go get them and dump them right now. If you don't, there will be times coming up in your quit where you could let your guard down and having them available could have you posting a day 1 all over again. Whatever they cost, it's not worth the risk.
RNGLock Day 117
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Well, lets just call me Slick.
Hey Slick - just sent you a PM and some encouragement. Check your inbox in the upper right corner. Glad to have you here!
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Thank you, glad to be here. I had a hell of time finding Roll call... then reading the directions 20+ times to figure out what the bajesus I was suppose to do... lol
I got the 2 cans out the freezer. one was open already... (i do not remember opening it)... but both were frozen with chucks of ice on them. I did not even bother to read the dates on the bottom of them... I took a razor blade to the bottom of the new can.... took a smell of the COPE for 1 last time and was surprised that I was not even interested..... dumped them both in the garbage can. grabbed a lolly pop and took a walk to the mailbox to retrieve the mail.
if I stay busy, I am fine.... it is when I slow down my mind like to play tricks on me....
now I need to know what to do with the 25+ cigars in my 2 humidors. ugh.
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now I need to know what to do with the 25+ cigars in my 2 humidors. ugh.
Make some sweet cash and put it towards a vacation or something you can actually enjoy!
You got this!
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first thing you need to do is go to that freezer like a man. grab what is in there and flush it. I don't want to sound like I'm busting your balls it is the only way to face the monster. other than that I'm damn proud of you and to quit with you
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first thing you need to do is go to that freezer like a man. grab what is in there and flush it. I don't want to sound like I'm busting your balls it is the only way to face the monster. other than that I'm damn proud of you and to quit with you
Yep Yep.. I grabbed them and sent them to the landfill.
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Slick, that's a focking sick name for an embalmer. Nicotine is your addiction. You must expel it from your presence.
Beyond that, it's one day at a time. You can quit for today. Anyone can quit for a day.
Tomorrow, we do it again.
I've done it 106 times. It feels good.
I quit with you today.
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Slick, that's a focking sick name for an embalmer. Nicotine is your addiction. You must expel it from your presence.
Beyond that, it's one day at a time. You can quit for today. Anyone can quit for a day.
Tomorrow, we do it again.
I've done it 106 times. It feels good.
I quit with you today.
Irish is a bad ass quitter here. Heed his advice!
You've started on a difficult journey. Quitting is hard because you are addicted. You need to face your addiction in the eye. Admit that you have a problem and be open to getting help here. The best way is to swap digits with folks in your quit group.
Get involved in your group. I quit with you today!
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first thing you need to do is go to that freezer like a man. grab what is in there and flush it. I don't want to sound like I'm busting your balls it is the only way to face the monster. other than that I'm damn proud of you and to quit with you
Yep Yep.. I grabbed them and sent them to the landfill.
Way to go Slick!!!! Proud of you brother. I quit with you.
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I am going to admit.
Yesterday was tough..... at day 14.
Today day 15....a Saturday... I have my girls home all weekend, so I am in great shape. 93 degrees today (they say). headed to the pool as soon as they get up and eat.
But yesterday.... damn.... I have to get rid of the 2 humidors full of cigars. I was tempted and I will be honest. My mind was working me over..... I grabbed lolly pops and got out of the house. it worked... As soon as 9 AM get here, I am texting my buddy and headed over to go drop both boxes off at his house. The temptation is great... too great to handle alone. But I know I am doing this. I did this to myself for years...... I am doing the right thing.... I play it all over in my head. Why the fuck do I feel like crying over this???!!!!! this is pathetic. This is serious..... I can not believe I was owned by this shit.
My throat is still bothering me... my tongue feels swollen... my mouth constantly waters and everything taste salty to me. I cut a piece of sharp cheddar off the cheese block in the kitchen yesterday. (we buy all the time). I about spit it out it tasted so salty to me.
crazy stuff.... but I will not fall victim today.... I have not fell victim for the past 14 days.
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Two weeks quit is bad ass! You've proven to yourself that you can really do it now. Show up here to promise again every day. B)B
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I am going to admit.
Yesterday was tough..... at day 14.
Today day 15....a Saturday... I have my girls home all weekend, so I am in great shape. 93 degrees today (they say). headed to the pool as soon as they get up and eat.
But yesterday.... damn.... I have to get rid of the 2 humidors full of cigars. I was tempted and I will be honest. My mind was working me over..... I grabbed lolly pops and got out of the house. it worked... As soon as 9 AM get here, I am texting my buddy and headed over to go drop both boxes off at his house. The temptation is great... too great to handle alone. But I know I am doing this. I did this to myself for years...... I am doing the right thing.... I play it all over in my head. Why the fuck do I feel like crying over this???!!!!! this is pathetic. This is serious..... I can not believe I was owned by this shit.
My throat is still bothering me... my tongue feels swollen... my mouth constantly waters and everything taste salty to me. I cut a piece of sharp cheddar off the cheese block in the kitchen yesterday. (we buy all the time). I about spit it out it tasted so salty to me.
crazy stuff.... but I will not fall victim today.... I have not fell victim for the past 14 days.
It felt like the first 6+ months of my quit that the back of my tongue was swollen. It felt like I couldn't swallow. What you are describing is normal.
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What you are describing is normal.
6 months??!!! damn..... I am never picking up snuff again.
Thank goodness someone chimed in and said something..
I have a doctors appointment for my annual check-up on June 23rd.
I will mention it to my PCP.
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So I called my buddy yesterday.
He will smoke a cigar or chew only on occasion. I knew I could hang with him, tell him I was a recovering addict and he would not try to be a dick and pull out some tobacco.
Anyways, I helped him with some plumbing yesterday. He comes around the corner with 2 PBR pounders in his hands. I said " I am not suppose to have alcohol". His reply "You said you stopped chewing, not drinking??"
I wanted to see if a beer would be a trigger. Was I playing with fire?... was I playing with a loaded gun? FOR ME, NO. drinking never triggered me wanting a chew.
I drank about 3 beers over the course of 4 hours. I think if I pushed it and was pounding beers then I would of been making some phone calls and texts.
I never really drank Miller High Life. Pabst blue ribbon is one of my favorites.. but I might need to get a case of Miller high life today and stock the mini fridge. but then again... I never drink when I am alone... I only drink in a social setting.
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Nice intro and nice quit you got there Slick! Quit with you today!! Hang tough, because even though the physical withdrawal is long-since complete, the mind games are just beginning....it'll take some time, but trust me, you'll one day regain the clarity back 100-fold!
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Nice intro and nice quit you got there Slick! Quit with you today!! Hang tough, because even though the physical withdrawal is long-since complete, the mind games are just beginning....it'll take some time, but trust me, you'll one day regain the clarity back 100-fold!
Is it just me, but when I come on here, I get foggy.
Is it because I am thinking and focusing on my addiction of chewing snuff???
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Nice intro and nice quit you got there Slick! Quit with you today!! Hang tough, because even though the physical withdrawal is long-since complete, the mind games are just beginning....it'll take some time, but trust me, you'll one day regain the clarity back 100-fold!
Is it just me, but when I come on here, I get foggy.
Is it because I am thinking and focusing on my addiction of chewing snuff???
That is the nic brain trying to rewire itself. Give it time, it will get better but no one here can tell you when! The suck till it don't definitely has true meaning! Quit on! ?
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Nice intro and nice quit you got there Slick! Quit with you today!! Hang tough, because even though the physical withdrawal is long-since complete, the mind games are just beginning....it'll take some time, but trust me, you'll one day regain the clarity back 100-fold!
Is it just me, but when I come on here, I get foggy.
Is it because I am thinking and focusing on my addiction of chewing snuff???
That is the nic brain trying to rewire itself. Give it time, it will get better but no one here can tell you when! The suck till it don't definitely has true meaning! Quit on! ?
The fog persists for longer than you'd think. Even after 200 days I've still had some days where I felt a little foggy. Nicotine really messed all of us up. It will take time to heal.
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Quit with you today Slick. Thanks for sharing the story of your quits all, since it helps me with knowing whats coming next.
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That is the nic brain trying to rewire itself. Give it time, it will get better but no one here can tell you when! The suck till it don't definitely has true meaning! Quit on! ?
oh thank goodness there is light at the end of the tunnel.
My brain better rewire faster. I do not like this feeling... I feel like a space cadet.
Like I could stare at the wall for an hour with no thoughts of anything.
ugh
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I am headed back to the gym. I felt great my college days going to the gym every night at 9 PM. I think it is time to get back in there and pray I do not blow anything out and end up on the injured reserve list for weeks/months. My best friends from school do not do any form of tobacco but they do hit the gym every night at the age of 40 and 41. Wish they lived closer to me.
I second going to the gym, my home away from home. On days I don't go, I feel the difference in my anxiety levels: more apt to lose it on my kids, my hubs, or someone at work (I'm a bit on the high-strung side :ermm: ). I hate running, but I'm thinking about kicking myself out the door for a run on weekends, on top of the gym, when the cravings get too strong. It will get my grouchy butt away from my poor family and hopefully beat the anxiety back. (I've heard that quite a few marathoners got their start quitting smoking.) There are tons of online groups for gym accountability too, since your gym friends don't live close by. I look forward to watching your continued success.
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Went to the Doctors for an annual check up the other day. New PCP (Primary Care Physician).. she is a really good listener. I told all about my (our) quit. she wrote the website down... it was cool.
anyways, everything checked out great...
I have tennis elbow. ... but do not play tennis.
turned 40 today.
embalmed a 38 yr old woman this morning... she has 2 kids under 10. sudden. nobody knows what happened. hard day..... I can bury thousands of old people that lived their lives, saw their kids grow up.. grand children, etc.... but lives that are cut short make the days hard.
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Happy Birthday Slick! I quit with you today!
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Happy birthday, Slick. You take er easy out there.
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Went to the Doctors for an annual check up the other day. New PCP (Primary Care Physician).. she is a really good listener. I told all about my (our) quit. she wrote the website down... it was cool.
anyways, everything checked out great...
I have tennis elbow. ... but do not play tennis.
turned 40 today.
embalmed a 38 yr old woman this morning... she has 2 kids under 10. sudden. nobody knows what happened. hard day..... I can bury thousands of old people that lived their lives, saw their kids grow up.. grand children, etc.... but lives that are cut short make the days hard.
I bet having that PCP vote of confidence is a nice lift of anxiety. It took a number of PCP visits, specialist visits, and dental visits of consistent positive results for me to feel like I've escaped (for now) some long term and regrettable damage. All I know is the health anxiety and fear I accumulated after 18 years of dipping is something I'll never do to myself again. Notice I said "to myself" and not "my kids" or "my wife" etc... Me. When you told your new PCP about your quit, you told her about YOUR quit. Not ours. Always make your quit about you. Everybody around your quit wins, when you succeed for you.
Keep it up Slick. You're doing great.
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Good intro Slick, I like the use of an intro as a journal. I quit with you today.
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Still here. 34 Days Free
My mouth stopped watering like a reservoir at night. I now experience dry mouth
I wake up every morning at 4 AM to piss. I think my prostate is angry at me.
I blew my shoulder out. My right elbow now has tennis elbow.
I mean, come on.... I stopped dipping and I am falling apart??? But I know there is no correlation . it is not even fair to say that. but it sure does feel like it.
I bought a case of beer yesterday for this upcoming 4th of July weekend. It is the same beer distributor where i bought so many rolls of Copenhagen. I did fine. I honestly did not even look at the huge ass wall of chew... swiped my card, carried my case of beer to the truck and grumbled under my breath the whole time how my fracking tennis elbow is bothering me. 'no' roflmao
oh, and the fog??... if I am busy, I do not get the fog. when I sit around, it sets in. rolls in. encases me and holds me tight. just not as severe as it used to. :-/
+ I am putting on weight when not busy. I am eating everything. My taste buds are still shot but the oral fixation is still there.
Thanks all for the Birthday wishes.... it was cool. I had fun with my girls
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Happy belated bday, Slick! Over a month quit now, that's awesome! Nice Work!
I feel you on the munchies... my husband's gigantic bag of peanut butter MMs keeps kicking my @ss. And by kicking, I mean making wider. :( Don't let it stress you out too much right now! Quitting is way more important. Fluffy and healthy thin and dead of cancer.
Sorry to hear about your elbow too. Have you tried a tennis ball? Roll all the "soft" parts (above and below the elbow) of your affected arm on the ball, against a hard surface. Hard; if it hurts, you're doing it right. :) If it's tightness causing your pain, a few days of that might help. There are many great resources online for stretches and strength balancing exercises online. I usually Google "power lifting" plus whatever hurts haha those guys know their stuff. I hope you feel better soon! All the hurdles you're facing right now are just the good Lord's way of strengthening your quit, making you even more bad@ss! Keep up the great quit! We are all with you.
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Munchies here too, always hungry. The expression camel up comes to mind and I have put on 10 lbs in 25 days quit. 'help' .
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Munchies here too, always hungry. The expression camel up comes to mind and I have put on 10 lbs in 25 days quit. 'help' .
Yeah,
if I sit.. I eat...
if I stay active, i can see burning the calories for fuel. but I am having these totally jacked up cravings. Like I got a bun in the oven. Doughnuts.... cherry coke... Peach tea... potato chips and dip.
I never eat that trash.... I would always splurge and get a box of doughnuts or a whopper. but then not eat that stuff for an entire year. Now I am hung up on Milk shakes.
Now, I know I had a chew tooth.... but this is like a sweet tooth.... I guess it is better.... I am going to hit the treadmill. I feel like Tim Allen in that Christmas movie.
I don't want a dickie-do. you know,, your stomach sticks out more than your dickie do!
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You will gain for a while but you can lose weight. Hang in there you should be noticing some small changes to the good in your new life now. Fog, let's see, drove good 10 miles past my house from work every day for the first week. Laughed the shit off and was thankful just like I am now for every damn day I'm not using. The quit life is the only life. I love every start to a new day and can't wait to post when I get up. Got the right attitude to beat this, stay one step ahead always. Proud to be quit with you!
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Break thru last night.
The wife is starting to understand more and more... she says "You have not acted like that in a really long time".. It was pointed out to me that my attitude and demeanor towards subjects has changed for the better.
My attitude feels better. I still want a chew to this day when my triggers are hit. Honestly, I had the shit in my mouth all day towards the end. Anything and everything could be a trigger.
I told her, I do not want to go back there and do that ever again. She agreed.
This whole thing has drawn us closer. She does not ask if I had a chew. She does not understand what an addiction is. She says "Just quit doing it", it is not that hard". But when she said, "you can have a chew every once in awhile, just do not abuse it, I do not see how that will hurt anything"..I stopped her. I explained to her that I could never have ONE "justified" chew/dip EVER. It would send me in a downward spiral that would cause me to use large quantities again.
she understood after I explained and I feel better that I stepped up and did the right thing.
I learned, communication is KEY.... without it, this quit will not be successful.
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So, I can honestly say that I did not realize how much chewing masked different things in my life.
I now have a bum elbow. a busted up shoulder. High Cholesterol.. increased liver function (drinking more alcohol). I gained 11 lbs in 35 days. My tongue still hurts.
what the frack.
My doctor calls me and wants more blood work. (that could never be a good sign)
ugh
I feel like I am taking a nose dive into the dirt.
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So, I can honestly say that I did not realize how much chewing masked different things in my life.
I now have a bum elbow. a busted up shoulder. High Cholesterol.. increased liver function (drinking more alcohol). I gained 11 lbs in 35 days. My tongue still hurts.
what the frack.
My doctor calls me and wants more blood work. (that could never be a good sign)
ugh
I feel like I am taking a nose dive into the dirt.
As long as you recognize that Nicotine was a mask and is not a solution.
The aches and pains are unfortunate, but you can control the alcohol intake - and you really should be careful about that, especially early on.
Try to use exercise as a coping mechanism. It's a triple whammy - releases endorphins, gets you healthy and flushes out toxins.
Your body and brain are still adjusting and you should return to a more normal state pretty soon. But even if not, all of the stuff you mentioned is way less serious than the cancer you'll be facing if you return to the can.
Just keep posting and updating and you'll feel better brother!
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So, I can honestly say that I did not realize how much chewing masked different things in my life.
I now have a bum elbow. a busted up shoulder. High Cholesterol.. increased liver function (drinking more alcohol). I gained 11 lbs in 35 days. My tongue still hurts.
what the frack.
My doctor calls me and wants more blood work. (that could never be a good sign)
ugh
I feel like I am taking a nose dive into the dirt.
As long as you recognize that Nicotine was a mask and is not a solution.
The aches and pains are unfortunate, but you can control the alcohol intake - and you really should be careful about that, especially early on.
Try to use exercise as a coping mechanism. It's a triple whammy - releases endorphins, gets you healthy and flushes out toxins.
Your body and brain are still adjusting and you should return to a more normal state pretty soon. But even if not, all of the stuff you mentioned is way less serious than the cancer you'll be facing if you return to the can.
Just keep posting and updating and you'll feel better brother!
While all that stuff may have come out now that you are quit, nicotine didn't help any of those things. You may notice them more now as you try to get a better life going for yourself and your family, but this is not a cause and effect thing. Quitting nicotine did not raise your cholesterol and it certainly didn't injure your elbow and shoulder. The stress of quitting may have caused you to THINK you needed more alcohol to adapt, but you don't (I went through that same slide in the beginning so I know exactly what you're going through on that front).
Like Pky said, get some exercise. Along with the benefits he mentioned, losing weight and regulating your body's metabolism will help you get where you want to be. You can do this Slick. You've come too far to let the nic bitch convince you that if you come back to her filthy talons all will be better.
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You guys are right.
I needed to hear that.
I know whats right. I know that can will not solve my aches and pains. I beat this., i will continue to beat this. I will never look back. I am an addict and I will never put 1 more dip in my lip. I will not cave... I can not cave. I refuse to cave.
I was talking with member-- Nori. The next door neighbor had a party last night. I noticed a young buck at the party, carrying his 3-4 yr old son in his arms with a honking big ass dip in his lip. I thought to myself "he looks stupid", "Some day he will realize it". That used to be me and I am glad it is not me.
I always tucked my dips way in the back and nobody knew i was dipping unless I spit. but towards the end I was dumping more and more in my mouth.
I just do not want to go back to that.... it is all a mind set at this point.
I went to go give more blood this AM for blood work and the doctor forgot to fax over the request to the lab. Guess I have a few extra days now to get more exercise in so my blood work looks better. ahahhaahha...
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You guys are right.
I needed to hear that.
I know whats right. I know that can will not solve my aches and pains. I beat this., i will continue to beat this. I will never look back. I am an addict and I will never put 1 more dip in my lip. I will not cave... I can not cave. I refuse to cave.
I was talking with member-- Nori. The next door neighbor had a party last night. I noticed a young buck at the party, carrying his 3-4 yr old son in his arms with a honking big ass dip in his lip. I thought to myself "he looks stupid", "Some day he will realize it". That used to be me and I am glad it is not me.
I always tucked my dips way in the back and nobody knew i was dipping unless I spit. but towards the end I was dumping more and more in my mouth.
I just do not want to go back to that.... it is all a mind set at this point.
I went to go give more blood this AM for blood work and the doctor forgot to fax over the request to the lab. Guess I have a few extra days now to get more exercise in so my blood work looks better. ahahhaahha...
Slick mind over matter. Don't be that guy hiding behind nicotine! Stand tall and be proud, you're a quitter! EDD! ODAAT! Quit on!
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I think about chew. but only when I am on here. Still to this day I get the fog when I come on this website.
totally weird, but this is not where my addiction started.... it ended here.
I agree with a recent HOF speech I read. Without KTC, we all would of caved and just went back to chewing with No one to answer to. I did not hide my habit, I was not embarrassed by it. If you did not like it or me "you could go fuck yourself".
That was my attitude... it was piss poor. I pissed blood and vinegar. I had rage running thru my veins.
I can honestly tell you, chewing snuff was one of the stupidest things I did to my body.
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I think about chew. but only when I am on here. Still to this day I get the fog when I come on this website.
totally weird, but this is not where my addiction started.... it ended here.
I agree with a recent HOF speech I read. Without KTC, we all would of caved and just went back to chewing with No one to answer to. I did not hide my habit, I was not embarrassed by it. If you did not like it or me "you could go fuck yourself".
That was my attitude... it was piss poor. I pissed blood and vinegar. I had rage running thru my veins.
I can honestly tell you, chewing snuff was one of the stupidest things I did to my body.
I think about chew. but only when I am on here
That is bullshit addict speak be careful you listen to that you will be on your own and probably posting a day one. I agree you think of it when you come here but you will think of it every second when you're not!
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^^^^ What he said!
I kind of thought the same thing for a short bit. I woke up every day and never had the urge to grab a can and put a morning lipper in or anything but as soon as I looged on the site, I thought about dip. Was it thinking I needed a dip? Mmmmm I might be fooling my self but not so much I don't think. Now when i come on the site i DO think about dip...... and all the bad shit it can do to a person. There is nothing good about it. I will preach until I am blue in the face. If I say something and get called a fuck head, a douche bag, a dick, then so be it! I would rather you hate me every day for the rest of your life than to love me until the day you die of cancer. Plain and simple.
So do I think about dip here? Yep! But it is to help others stay quit, not to give me an "excuse to cave".
I know it is a pain the fucking ass man. I get it. Not only did I give up dip 302 days ago, I also gave up my cigars too AND 14 years ago, I was a 3 pack per day smoker of Boro Reds Box. Quitting sucks. Plain and simple. Triggers? yeah. 14 years later and I still have triggers for a stinking ass cigarette. YUCK!!! But man do I want one on occasion. Dip, YUCK!!!! The smell is nasty as fuck and every time I see a pile of dip laying on the gournd outside of the door to a business I like to gag. BUT, I do get cravings 302 days later.
I have tools now. The most important one is my daily promise to my brothers AND sisters of quit. I hold that promise near and dear to my heart now and refuse to let go. I keep numbers handy on my phone programmed and ready to roll. My ohone currently has no service yet i carry it due to my numbers just in case. My wifes phone works fine. I will use if needs be. That is one out for me. My next out is when I am at home, the site is a few clicks away. I can read HOF speeches, Words of Wisdom, and every other thread I can think of to read. Other quit groups are AWESOME reading materials. Reminds me of where I was and where I could be if I stick with it. I never have to use nic ever again!
Your health you mentioned. I have saw more doctors in my life since I quit smoking than ever in my life. It started sucking bad. My liver is enlarged, liver functions are through the roof and on the verge of failure, my heart is jacked up, and my lungs are completely shot. I can hold my breath just shy of 9 seconds. I'm 385 lb , 5'10 (lost an inch), 3 blown discs, arthritis in the spine, arthritis in my knees so bad I can barely walk, spine shifted half a centimeter, etc etc etc. One thing I have going for me is, NO NIC!!! WOOT!
Yep with all that shit wrong, I have no nic in me and proud of it. I no longer have to worry about being down to my last dip and having to go get more or suffering literal panic attacks for leaving home and forgetting my tin.
It will all work out man stick with it and us!! It does get better day by day.
I'll shut up now and carry on my way ward. take care and I quit with you EDD man!
Ray - 302
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^^^^ What he said!
I kind of thought the same thing for a short bit. I woke up every day and never had the urge to grab a can and put a morning lipper in or anything but as soon as I looged on the site, I thought about dip. Was it thinking I needed a dip? Mmmmm I might be fooling my self but not so much I don't think. Now when i come on the site i DO think about dip...... and all the bad shit it can do to a person. There is nothing good about it. I will preach until I am blue in the face. If I say something and get called a fuck head, a douche bag, a dick, then so be it! I would rather you hate me every day for the rest of your life than to love me until the day you die of cancer. Plain and simple.
So do I think about dip here? Yep! But it is to help others stay quit, not to give me an "excuse to cave".
I know it is a pain the fucking ass man. I get it. Not only did I give up dip 302 days ago, I also gave up my cigars too AND 14 years ago, I was a 3 pack per day smoker of Boro Reds Box. Quitting sucks. Plain and simple. Triggers? yeah. 14 years later and I still have triggers for a stinking ass cigarette. YUCK!!! But man do I want one on occasion. Dip, YUCK!!!! The smell is nasty as fuck and every time I see a pile of dip laying on the gournd outside of the door to a business I like to gag. BUT, I do get cravings 302 days later.
I have tools now. The most important one is my daily promise to my brothers AND sisters of quit. I hold that promise near and dear to my heart now and refuse to let go. I keep numbers handy on my phone programmed and ready to roll. My ohone currently has no service yet i carry it due to my numbers just in case. My wifes phone works fine. I will use if needs be. That is one out for me. My next out is when I am at home, the site is a few clicks away. I can read HOF speeches, Words of Wisdom, and every other thread I can think of to read. Other quit groups are AWESOME reading materials. Reminds me of where I was and where I could be if I stick with it. I never have to use nic ever again!
Your health you mentioned. I have saw more doctors in my life since I quit smoking than ever in my life. It started sucking bad. My liver is enlarged, liver functions are through the roof and on the verge of failure, my heart is jacked up, and my lungs are completely shot. I can hold my breath just shy of 9 seconds. I'm 385 lb , 5'10 (lost an inch), 3 blown discs, arthritis in the spine, arthritis in my knees so bad I can barely walk, spine shifted half a centimeter, etc etc etc. One thing I have going for me is, NO NIC!!! WOOT!
Yep with all that shit wrong, I have no nic in me and proud of it. I no longer have to worry about being down to my last dip and having to go get more or suffering literal panic attacks for leaving home and forgetting my tin.
It will all work out man stick with it and us!! It does get better day by day.
I'll shut up now and carry on my way ward. take care and I quit with you EDD man!
Ray - 302
Awesome DJ! Gave me some quit wood! See slick when everything starts sucking around you, remember there's always someone alot worse off than you! Quit on and thanks DJ!
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^^^^ What he said!
I kind of thought the same thing for a short bit. I woke up every day and never had the urge to grab a can and put a morning lipper in or anything but as soon as I looged on the site, I thought about dip. Was it thinking I needed a dip? Mmmmm I might be fooling my self but not so much I don't think. Now when i come on the site i DO think about dip...... and all the bad shit it can do to a person. There is nothing good about it. I will preach until I am blue in the face. If I say something and get called a fuck head, a douche bag, a dick, then so be it! I would rather you hate me every day for the rest of your life than to love me until the day you die of cancer. Plain and simple.
So do I think about dip here? Yep! But it is to help others stay quit, not to give me an "excuse to cave".
I know it is a pain the fucking ass man. I get it. Not only did I give up dip 302 days ago, I also gave up my cigars too AND 14 years ago, I was a 3 pack per day smoker of Boro Reds Box. Quitting sucks. Plain and simple. Triggers? yeah. 14 years later and I still have triggers for a stinking ass cigarette. YUCK!!! But man do I want one on occasion. Dip, YUCK!!!! The smell is nasty as fuck and every time I see a pile of dip laying on the gournd outside of the door to a business I like to gag. BUT, I do get cravings 302 days later.
I have tools now. The most important one is my daily promise to my brothers AND sisters of quit. I hold that promise near and dear to my heart now and refuse to let go. I keep numbers handy on my phone programmed and ready to roll. My ohone currently has no service yet i carry it due to my numbers just in case. My wifes phone works fine. I will use if needs be. That is one out for me. My next out is when I am at home, the site is a few clicks away. I can read HOF speeches, Words of Wisdom, and every other thread I can think of to read. Other quit groups are AWESOME reading materials. Reminds me of where I was and where I could be if I stick with it. I never have to use nic ever again!
Your health you mentioned. I have saw more doctors in my life since I quit smoking than ever in my life. It started sucking bad. My liver is enlarged, liver functions are through the roof and on the verge of failure, my heart is jacked up, and my lungs are completely shot. I can hold my breath just shy of 9 seconds. I'm 385 lb , 5'10 (lost an inch), 3 blown discs, arthritis in the spine, arthritis in my knees so bad I can barely walk, spine shifted half a centimeter, etc etc etc. One thing I have going for me is, NO NIC!!! WOOT!
Yep with all that shit wrong, I have no nic in me and proud of it. I no longer have to worry about being down to my last dip and having to go get more or suffering literal panic attacks for leaving home and forgetting my tin.
It will all work out man stick with it and us!! It does get better day by day.
I'll shut up now and carry on my way ward. take care and I quit with you EDD man!
Ray - 302
Awesome DJ! Gave me some quit wood! See slick when everything starts sucking around you, remember there's always someone alot worse off than you! Quit on and thanks DJ!
Quit wood!! Ha ha ha!!! No probs bud, that's what I am here for! Anytime man. ROFL!!! I must have said something useful then. If I did, then I am a happy camper.
Take care fellers!
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Well, just checking in... and updating.
still putting on a few pounds, but I think it is muscle. went from 210 to 213 lbs in 2 weeks. ugh...
my elbow is killing me.... compression sleeve arrives tomorrow. If it keeps bothering me, I am going to see a specialist. Anyone have the dreaded tennis elbow? any advise?... my chiropractor told me use my other arm... :P
I can not wait to hit the gym tomorrow night. my testosterone is thru the roof. I can feel all my power coming back.
stay strong my brothers and sisters!!.. stay strong!
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Well, I am almost at day 100.
I can say that I do not fell any different but that would be cheating myself.
I finally got the news from my doc. She said my levels are all normal.. I do not have elevated cholesterol.
Been hitting the gym.. feels great to have my power back. I am not 100% yet but I was hoping to go back stronger... in time.. just not right this instance.
I still have the urge to chew snuff but it is not mind numbing like it once was. I can finally handle those urges and fend them off with some chewing gum.
I do not know if I will continue to post after day 100, but I think it is rather important to stay on top of posting and making that promise. Funny how those couple typed letters and numbers each day set your brain on the right track to success.
p.s. I got some train horns on my truck. oh my, they feel so good since I have road rage. sons a bishes drive off the road. If someone shoots me, you will know why. 'winker'
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Well, I am almost at day 100.
I can say that I do not fell any different but that would be cheating myself.
I finally got the news from my doc. She said my levels are all normal.. I do not have elevated cholesterol.
Been hitting the gym.. feels great to have my power back. I am not 100% yet but I was hoping to go back stronger... in time.. just not right this instance.
I still have the urge to chew snuff but it is not mind numbing like it once was. I can finally handle those urges and fend them off with some chewing gum.
I do not know if I will continue to post after day 100, but I think it is rather important to stay on top of posting and making that promise. Funny how those couple typed letters and numbers each day set your brain on the right track to success.
p.s. I got some train horns on my truck. oh my, they feel so good since I have road rage. sons a bishes drive off the road. If someone shoots me, you will know why. 'winker'
Slick, Great work! I just read through your intro from the beginning and it is great to see how far we have all progressed in our quits.
Keep up your guard and in my experience your quit will go through some funks and up and downs, but stay strong and keep doing what you are doing.
Congrats on the 100 (soon)
Idaho Spuds
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Well, I am almost at day 100.
I can say that I do not fell any different but that would be cheating myself.
I finally got the news from my doc. She said my levels are all normal.. I do not have elevated cholesterol.
Been hitting the gym.. feels great to have my power back. I am not 100% yet but I was hoping to go back stronger... in time.. just not right this instance.
I still have the urge to chew snuff but it is not mind numbing like it once was. I can finally handle those urges and fend them off with some chewing gum.
I do not know if I will continue to post after day 100, but I think it is rather important to stay on top of posting and making that promise. Funny how those couple typed letters and numbers each day set your brain on the right track to success.
p.s. I got some train horns on my truck. oh my, they feel so good since I have road rage. sons a bishes drive off the road. If someone shoots me, you will know why. 'winker'
Slick, Great work! I just read through your intro from the beginning and it is great to see how far we have all progressed in our quits.
Keep up your guard and in my experience your quit will go through some funks and up and downs, but stay strong and keep doing what you are doing.
Congrats on the 100 (soon)
Idaho Spuds
Keep it up Slick! I've enjoyed following your intro - you and your brothers will be aboard the HOF train soon enough!
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Well, I am almost at day 100.
I can say that I do not fell any different but that would be cheating myself.
I finally got the news from my doc. She said my levels are all normal.. I do not have elevated cholesterol.
Been hitting the gym.. feels great to have my power back. I am not 100% yet but I was hoping to go back stronger... in time.. just not right this instance.
I still have the urge to chew snuff but it is not mind numbing like it once was. I can finally handle those urges and fend them off with some chewing gum.
I do not know if I will continue to post after day 100, but I think it is rather important to stay on top of posting and making that promise. Funny how those couple typed letters and numbers each day set your brain on the right track to success.
p.s. I got some train horns on my truck. oh my, they feel so good since I have road rage. sons a bishes drive off the road. If someone shoots me, you will know why. 'winker'
Slick, Great work! I just read through your intro from the beginning and it is great to see how far we have all progressed in our quits.
Keep up your guard and in my experience your quit will go through some funks and up and downs, but stay strong and keep doing what you are doing.
Congrats on the 100 (soon)
Idaho Spuds
Keep it up Slick! I've enjoyed following your intro - you and your brothers will be aboard the HOF train soon enough!
Actively quitting is the only way to do it I think. Otherwise we will always think that we can just "try one taste" again with no consequences. When I joined this site I didn't really understand what being an addict meant. I didn't really understand why I always failed before.
There was an introduction thread here months ago from someone who had quit 10 years, had a dip with some buddies on a hunting trip and bought a can on the way home, then struggled to get rid of it. That thread really blew me away! We could all drift and think it's over, but it never really is and that's because we are all addicts.
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Hi Slick. Nice work...reaching your first huge milestone of 100 days is HUGE!! I want to urge you to keep posting after day 100. Nothing has ever worked before, so why would you stop doing something that definitely works! Life will still happen, and having that promise each morning will definitely help you maintain your quit. I don't want you to think that reaching day 100 means that you are cured. I don't even want you to think of it as a pathway to being cured. We will always be addicts. The only thing that keeps me clean today is the promise I made. Yes, you may feel more confident today than you did before, but addiction is a strong and crazy thing that will creep up on you even when you think you've got this under control. I don't want you to ever have to go through day number one again, or beat yourself up for giving in to your addiction on a day you stopped posting. I'd it works why change it?
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Congrats Slick, stick with KTC and you will make it, I did and I went crazy for a while, but you can do this.
I quit with you today.
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Smitty!
Congrats on the near-HOF experience!! :D Seriously, I've enjoyed watching you get through this with grit, determination, resolve, and COMMITMENT. That last word is capitalized because I read with some concern your comment about not sure if you'll continue to post after 100.
Bottom line, obviously, is that is your decision. But stop and consider my personal example. In 1993, I thought I had "quit" this insidious addiction. I went 15 months without nicotine. I was "cured". Then I went fishing with a buddy on Logan Martin. He had a dip in. In my mind, I figured I could have one and go on about my life. WRONG. On the way home I stopped at a C-store, bought a can of Cope, and right back to it like I never even put it down. That cost me ANOTHER 20 YEARS of slavery to a dead weed in a can. Now keep in mind, this was in the days before forums and the interwebs got all popular like now. But I guarantee you, had there been a KTC, had I been posting, there's no way in hell I would have turned on that promise to my quit brothers and sisters. I know this place works, and YOU know this place works. So like the lady a couple posts above me said, why screw with something if you know it works?
I hope your train horns are like 115db....some assholes need that gentle coaxing to wake the "f" up when they're on the road!! :D
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:D :D Thanks for the replies.
These stories etch memories into my brain that I can totally relate to. Almost like then I saw another person using Copenhagen or carrying a can. I know it sounds silly.... but it was "Okay" for me to use too since they were doing it too. sounds childish.. right?.. but it is so wacked... my brain still fights me... I still can taste metal in my mouth and I get the urge to use when I am here.... If I do not think about it.. it goes away.
147.7 dBs.... if you are not careful, chances are you can get someone to stroke out if you pull the tether. I love them... such stress relief! Did you ever go shooting to relieve stress?... run a brick of ammo thru a firearm? .. this is just like that.
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Happy HOF day Slick! Lots of hard work and struggle, but you know it's worth it - keep it up man!
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Happy HOF day Slick! Lots of hard work and struggle, but you know it's worth it - keep it up man!
What PKY said!! Awesome to see you hit triple digits, take a minute to enjoy, but remember this struggle is NOT over. Stay close to the site, stay close to your quit brothers and sisters.....don't EVER think you've got this licked; complacency kills quits. Proud of you, Smitty!
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Slick Smitty is sticking around. Paying it forward from here on out.
Thank you for the supportive words. Honestly, could not have done it without each and everyone of you.
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Happy HOF day Slick! Lots of hard work and struggle, but you know it's worth it - keep it up man!
What PKY said!! Awesome to see you hit triple digits, take a minute to enjoy, but remember this struggle is NOT over. Stay close to the site, stay close to your quit brothers and sisters.....don't EVER think you've got this licked; complacency kills quits. Proud of you, Smitty!
Happy HOF slick!
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Slick Smitty is sticking around. Paying it forward from here on out.
Thank you for the supportive words. Honestly, could not have done it without each and everyone of you.
Glad to see you're staying past 100. Saw that post earlier about maybe not stayin'. Paying it forward really helps your own quit. On a health note: I got a shot in my elbow for tennis elbow. It worked. Got the shot and kept it in a sling for a week so I wouldn't use it. Healed. Can I gat an amen!!! I sympathize.
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Well, the new job has really helped the elbow problem. My elbow no longer bothers me during the week... only the weekends when i m doing house/yard work. I am pushing paperwork now-a-days. Nothing labor intensive about that... no more lifting dead weight (ha ha, pun intended).
I have about 40 cans of fake dip.. both Smokey Mt and Eat-mint.com... the eat mint pouches are really nice during the work day... but as soon as work is out and I hear that whistle like Fred Flintstones I am fingering banging that Smokey Mnt peach. (I really enjoy all that Molasses). total spit-ability. and the first 2 spits out the truck window are totally awesome.... chics at the red light are like... ewwww!... I just grin and lick my lips... (I am sick in the head)...
I hope around day 200 I burn out of this oral fixation and I can just walk away from eating mint all day long.
I swear... until day 90... I was just eating more food.... at day 90 I was going to crack... I made the mad dash to get Smokey Mt at WierdO-mart and dumped half the can in my mouth as I exited the store. (I have no clue what set me off like that)... I been fake dippin it everyday since.
I am not seeing guys in my group cave... 1 reached out to me and said that after hitting 100, he felt like it fizzled out. I think the bar needs raised to more like 365 instead of 100 days of quit. just my .02 .. I do not like seeing the guys who fought for the first 100 with me, bail out... it is bothersome.
happy weekend fellas
Slick Smitty
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Well, the new job has really helped the elbow problem. My elbow no longer bothers me during the week... only the weekends when i m doing house/yard work. I am pushing paperwork now-a-days. Nothing labor intensive about that... no more lifting dead weight (ha ha, pun intended).
I have about 40 cans of fake dip.. both Smokey Mt and Eat-mint.com... the eat mint pouches are really nice during the work day... but as soon as work is out and I hear that whistle like Fred Flintstones I am fingering banging that Smokey Mnt peach. (I really enjoy all that Molasses). total spit-ability. and the first 2 spits out the truck window are totally awesome.... chics at the red light are like... ewwww!... I just grin and lick my lips... (I am sick in the head)...
I hope around day 200 I burn out of this oral fixation and I can just walk away from eating mint all day long.
I swear... until day 90... I was just eating more food.... at day 90 I was going to crack... I made the mad dash to get Smokey Mt at WierdO-mart and dumped half the can in my mouth as I exited the store. (I have no clue what set me off like that)... I been fake dippin it everyday since.
I am not seeing guys in my group cave... 1 reached out to me and said that after hitting 100, he felt like it fizzled out. I think the bar needs raised to more like 365 instead of 100 days of quit. just my .02 .. I do not like seeing the guys who fought for the first 100 with me, bail out... it is bothersome.
happy weekend fellas
Slick Smitty
The bar should always be tomorrow! ;)
I've never used fake chew and grossing out the girls at the red light would be a downer for me. LOL.
Congratulations on the new job Slick and I am looking forward to seeing you on the site well past your day 200! :)
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Still alive and doing well.
coming up on day 365!! 1 year tobacco free.
A lot has changed.. I now wear mouth guards at night when I sleep so I do not grind my teeth down to nubs.
I am 222 lbs. Having a hard time dropping the weight.
I eat like a race horse.... shit like an elephant.
I have to learn some good eating habits or I am going to stroke out from french fries and hoagies.
but that is all a mind set as well... I figure, one thing at a time for now.
The train horn is still making people jump 3 feet off the ground.. but when I am having a bad day, that thing just brings a giant grin to my face.
I do think about going back to chewing from time to time. but it passes rather quickly when I look at my girls.
I still have the smokey mountain chew but I barely ever use it. if I do, my stomach produces so much acid, I end up with heart burn.
I know chewing for 25 years jacked something up... so I hope I reversed the process, but when i throw that fake dip in, it solves nothing.
I pray you all stay strong.... I thank God, that i found this site and it did save my life... no doubt.
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Still alive and doing well.
coming up on day 365!! 1 year tobacco free.
A lot has changed.. I now wear mouth guards at night when I sleep so I do not grind my teeth down to nubs.
I am 222 lbs. Having a hard time dropping the weight.
I eat like a race horse.... shit like an elephant.
I have to learn some good eating habits or I am going to stroke out from french fries and hoagies.
but that is all a mind set as well... I figure, one thing at a time for now.
The train horn is still making people jump 3 feet off the ground.. but when I am having a bad day, that thing just brings a giant grin to my face.
I do think about going back to chewing from time to time. but it passes rather quickly when I look at my girls.
I still have the smokey mountain chew but I barely ever use it. if I do, my stomach produces so much acid, I end up with heart burn.
I know chewing for 25 years jacked something up... so I hope I reversed the process, but when i throw that fake dip in, it solves nothing.
I pray you all stay strong.... I thank God, that i found this site and it did save my life... no doubt.
It's outstanding that you're still quit... good on ya.
It may seem a little counterproductive to read you the riot act so... I'll do it softly.
We don't really care for status updates here... it's not Facebook. We connect daily and stay involved because over the years we've proven that we are ALL shining examples of how miserably we failed at managing our addiction alone. Not posting roll for months at a time is a tried and true recipe for disaster. Case in point... we just had a cat in July '14 cave after 1,100+ days.
Addiction is never cured...
Post roll, brother. It literally takes all of, what?... 20 seconds?
Small price to pay for the freedom you found here. Ask me how I know...
AJ... 1,491 days
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I understand and thank you. sincerely.
I feel guilty for that I should have been paying it forward this whole time. Helping others in their quit is important. I still post roll everyday but, it is to God and country.
This website was the vehicle that helped me along the way and I am thankful for that. I spread the good word to the young bucks and my dentist every chance I get. So, you are welcome for the foot traffic (if that helps anything). :shrug:
To the one's who care I threw out an update.... I do not book faces or tweets, but I got a couple text messages from my fellow can killers asking if I was still quit........ and the answer was HELL YEAH!, I am never going back because I was ready and I wanted the QUIT for me. If any of you have doubts about quitting, then you are not ready to quit. It is that simple. I do not doubt myself. I trust myself to make the right decision in life and you should too.