KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Sportster4Ever on September 25, 2013, 01:43:00 AM
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Today is my first day of being free! I have tried many times before but this is my first time using a support group and I am psyched! I have chewed for 24 years kodak can a day. I am sick of this shit and feeling controlled... I want my freedom. Right now I am just pissed at the asshole who introduced me but I know it is up to me to take control and I know I can do it. Whoever started this you ROCK
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Glad you made it into chat tonight, it has definitely saved me several times.
Congrats on posting day 1, it really does get better.
Quit for today, and above all else quit for YOU. Be selfish about it, it is ok.
It does get better.
PM me if you need anything, I gave you my number in chat, not sure if you got it. If you did use it anytime.
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Glad you made it into chat tonight, it has definitely saved me several times.
Congrats on posting day 1, it really does get better.
Quit for today, and above all else quit for YOU. Be selfish about it, it is ok.
It does get better.
PM me if you need anything, I gave you my number in chat, not sure if you got it. If you did use it anytime.
I have 2 supporters in my phone... Send an email with yours and I will add it in... 24 hrs... That is my goal
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Today is my first day of being free! I have tried many times before but this is my first time using a support group and I am psyched! I have chewed for 24 years kodak can a day. I am sick of this shit and feeling controlled... I want my freedom. Right now I am just pissed at the asshole who introduced me but I know it is up to me to take control and I know I can do it. Whoever started this you ROCK
Great job with your quit. Read everything that you can. post every day. And get some numbers that you can contact for support. I dipped for 40 years and this site got me nic free and can do the same for you.
Good luck if you need any support numbers pm me and I would be happy to send you mine.
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Today is my first day of being free! I have tried many times before but this is my first time using a support group and I am psyched! I have chewed for 24 years kodak can a day. I am sick of this shit and feeling controlled... I want my freedom. Right now I am just pissed at the asshole who introduced me but I know it is up to me to take control and I know I can do it. Whoever started this you ROCK
Man, that is exactly where I was mentally when I quit. Just freakin done. I was a slave for somewhere around 20 years. You can do this. Better days are coming, sir.
Read my HOF speech linked in my signature. You're going at it the same way I did. Focus that anger and use it as a tool. The nicotine slingers tried to kill us for many years. Do not forget that.
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Today is my first day of being free! I have tried many times before but this is my first time using a support group and I am psyched! I have chewed for 24 years kodak can a day. I am sick of this shit and feeling controlled... I want my freedom. Right now I am just pissed at the asshole who introduced me but I know it is up to me to take control and I know I can do it. Whoever started this you ROCK
Man, that is exactly where I was mentally when I quit. Just freakin done. I was a slave for somewhere around 20 years. You can do this. Better days are coming, sir.
Read my HOF speech linked in my signature. You're going at it the same way I did. Focus that anger and use it as a tool. The nicotine slingers tried to kill us for many years. Do not forget that.
Excellent,, posting roll and keeping that mind set will keep you quit. Great job. One day at a time and you can take back a lot of what the poison has stolen. Never again for any reason and you can keep it.
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Glad you made it into chat tonight, it has definitely saved me several times.Â
Congrats on posting day 1, it really does get better.
Quit for today, and above all else quit for YOU. Be selfish about it, it is ok.
It does get better.
PM me if you need anything, I gave you my number in chat, not sure if you got it. If you did use it anytime.
I have 2 supporters in my phone... Send an email with yours and I will add it in... 24 hrs... That is my goal
Welcome Sportster, 24hr is a great goal! Just 24 hours. YOu got this. Tomorrow can take care of itself, but if you post roll promise for today, that's all you have to do. You got this.
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Day 5 was a good day. Adrenaline was flowing and I felt energy like I haven't since I started this. At my sons football game a friend asked how I was doing... I said I wanted to fuck someone up.. Figuratively of course... But that is how I felt. The nic bitch was out of my system and it was nice to feel. Last night was not good... I was anxious and couldn't sit still. I wondered the house until 1 am trying to calm down. Then swat was on tv, I got interested, fell asleep. Today I feel like I have lost a friend that was always there for me. Kept me calm and able to focus. A friend that had a sign of strength... The BEAR! I continually think of the bear... Want to pinch her and taste the mint... Pack it with my tongue... Spit.
Then I realize how fucked up that thinking is.... This nic bitch took over every facet of my life. Always on my mind and when not in my lip I was wanting her. Even now that she is gone she continues to plague my thoughts and desires. Her price was $5 per day but it was more than that... I was a liar because of her. What started out as occasional now was every waking hour. How could I let this happen?! She change who I was and who I wanted to be!
The road to freedom is not easy and I am hating the day I ever picked the nic bitch up. Now it is time to go our separate ways... But I do miss her... Just get out of my head and out of life. Let me be the person I am meant to be to myself, my kids, my family, my wife, my friends etc. leave me the fuck alone....
A person once said... A smart person learns by their mistakes, but a wise person learns from others mistakes. Last night I pleaded with my son to stay away from this shit... I hope he is wise.
Sportster4ever... Wanting the nic bitch gone forever!
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Hey Sports. Nice job of posting roll today. Glad you are here and have decided to join us in this nuthouse of quit. I sent you a PM with my telephone number. Call me and vent before you actually do kill someone or take it out on the family members...remember, they are the innocent ones that did not let themselves get addicted to the shit like you did, so take it easy on them. Now, quit fantasizing about how much you loved dip...that is the addict brain trying to convince you it is OK to use the shit, nothing more. Read all you can on the site and get involved, as it will make your quit much easier. Congratualations on taking your life back. Wayne
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That was good and honest stuff. Stay strong. Oh, keep adding to this into and not creating a new one each time you want to document something related to your quit. Multiple threads just creates work for MODS; we hate that.
You have my #, use it when needed.
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God I hate that bear. It is actually kind of funny, in a twisted sort of way ... Many of us that had a long affair with the bear have intros that read similarly to yours. The bear sings that siren song to you - loudly in both ears.
Here is the deal - you will learn to ignore the whispers. You will get over the rage. You'll sleep again. And, in time , you'll come to realize that the affection you wrote about was all a sack if bullshit. Get out a calculator.... I chewed a can of kodiak a day for 25 year (you are a year smarter than me.). 36k would buy you a pretty nice ride. Between us, we spit out over 70 k.
In time, you will get angry. In the meantime, reach out if I or any of us can help. This website can save your life. And the brotherhood and reliance on accountability bleeds over to other parts of your life as well. Congratulations on joining us.
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Day 5 was a good day. Adrenaline was flowing and I felt energy like I haven't since I started this. At my sons football game a friend asked how I was doing... I said I wanted to fuck someone up.. Figuratively of course... But that is how I felt. The nic bitch was out of my system and it was nice to feel. Last night was not good... I was anxious and couldn't sit still. I wondered the house until 1 am trying to calm down. Then swat was on tv, I got interested, fell asleep. Today I feel like I have lost a friend that was always there for me. Kept me calm and able to focus. A friend that had a sign of strength... The BEAR! I continually think of the bear... Want to pinch her and taste the mint... Pack it with my tongue... Spit.
Then I realize how fucked up that thinking is.... This nic bitch took over every facet of my life. Always on my mind and when not in my lip I was wanting her. Even now that she is gone she continues to plague my thoughts and desires. Her price was $5 per day but it was more than that... I was a liar because of her. What started out as occasional now was every waking hour. How could I let this happen?! She change who I was and who I wanted to be!
The road to freedom is not easy and I am hating the day I ever picked the nic bitch up. Now it is time to go our separate ways... But I do miss her... Just get out of my head and out of life. Let me be the person I am meant to be to myself, my kids, my family, my wife, my friends etc. leave me the fuck alone....
A person once said... A smart person learns by their mistakes, but a wise person learns from others mistakes. Last night I pleaded with my son to stay away from this shit... I hope he is wise.
Sportster4ever... Wanting the nic bitch gone forever!
we all used to feel the same way as you, but now we don't. dip is one of the furthest things from my mind now. This is the simple truth. In time you will feel the same way, and you'll have gone through a transformation that will change you to the core. Post everyday first thing. Exercise will help calm you down. I should know - I'd have to look it up but around the 20's for me I busted my weedwacker in half. just pounded the shit out of it on the ground, boy did that feel good.. then one of the elders told me to exercise. much cheaper than replacing my stuff. by the way in my signature is my quit video about the bear.
kill the friggin bear, i do every damn day... peace
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Day 5 is one heck of a start.
Here is a brief timeline on how my quit is going, I'm not sure if it's helpful or not but I made it for another new quitter and he seemed to like it.
"4 days is something to be proud of. The nic is out of your system so it's all fun and games now...right? Well F...guess what? Your body is use to living with nic and now it's mad and is about to really fight you.
The good news is that you understand how to use your tools and you have some good fight in you. The better news is that it gets so much easier very quickly. Now, I realize that "quickly" is a very relative term- as when you are suffering minute to minute, 5 or 6 weeks seem like 100 years. In reality, 5 or 6 weeks is not a very long time.
Keep in mind, I am no expert and I am just going off of what I have experienced the past 67 days. My "suck scale" looked something like this:
Day 1-3: bad fog, my brain didn't work at all. Very little sleep and couldn't take a dump to save my life. I wanted a dip every second of each day.
Day 4-10: Pretty much out of the fog but bad, bad cravings and headache every second of the day
Day 11-14: My cruise control days, I didn't think about dipping much and craves were few and far between. Sleeping good but too much.
Day 15-21 Starting to get my energy level back up. Craves about 2-4 per day and short. The first thing every morning, I started to get an empty and sick feeling in my stomach when I thought about not being able to dip. Started losing my temper easily.
Day 22-25 No real changes, cruising along but feeling a little depressed. I started learning how to hate my addiction and was really mad about it.
Day 26- 30: Wow, I was starting to gain a lot of weight. Weird how I replaced Cope with Ice Cream and cake. I don't even eat sweets but here I am 10 lbs heavier. I don't care, I'm not dipping and the craves are mild.
Day 31-38: Freaking fog was back, some nasty craves and my temper way out of control. WTF!
Day 39-60: The roller coaster days. Mod craves followed by no craves, bad temper and mild depression. A difficult time but I was not giving up at this point.
Day 61-71: The best days by far. Seldom think about dip, temper is way better, sleeping like a normal person and just feeling pretty darn good. I am stacking up these good days to recharge my batteries and prepare for the next round of fights".
-
Day 5 was a good day. Adrenaline was flowing and I felt energy like I haven't since I started this. At my sons football game a friend asked how I was doing... I said I wanted to fuck someone up.. Figuratively of course... But that is how I felt. The nic bitch was out of my system and it was nice to feel. Last night was not good... I was anxious and couldn't sit still. I wondered the house until 1 am trying to calm down. Then swat was on tv, I got interested, fell asleep. Today I feel like I have lost a friend that was always there for me. Kept me calm and able to focus. A friend that had a sign of strength... The BEAR! I continually think of the bear... Want to pinch her and taste the mint... Pack it with my tongue... Spit.
Then I realize how fucked up that thinking is.... This nic bitch took over every facet of my life. Always on my mind and when not in my lip I was wanting her. Even now that she is gone she continues to plague my thoughts and desires. Her price was $5 per day but it was more than that... I was a liar because of her. What started out as occasional now was every waking hour. How could I let this happen?! She change who I was and who I wanted to be!
The road to freedom is not easy and I am hating the day I ever picked the nic bitch up. Now it is time to go our separate ways... But I do miss her... Just get out of my head and out of life. Let me be the person I am meant to be to myself, my kids, my family, my wife, my friends etc. leave me the fuck alone....Â
A person once said... A smart person learns by their mistakes, but a wise person learns from others mistakes. Last night I pleaded with my son to stay away from this shit... I hope he is wise.
Sportster4ever... Wanting the nic bitch gone forever!
we all used to feel the same way as you, but now we don't. dip is one of the furthest things from my mind now. This is the simple truth. In time you will feel the same way, and you'll have gone through a transformation that will change you to the core. Post everyday first thing. Exercise will help calm you down. I should know - I'd have to look it up but around the 20's for me I busted my weedwacker in half. just pounded the shit out of it on the ground, boy did that feel good.. then one of the elders told me to exercise. much cheaper than replacing my stuff. by the way in my signature is my quit video about the bear.
kill the friggin bear, i do every damn day... peace
That is good stuff Sport. Anytime you look deep, your quit grows 5-fold stronge. In the beginning, I felt the same way, that I was parting ways with a friend. But, over time, you will see that dip was never your friend. You will see it for the parasite it is, stealing your time, money, health, freedom.... You name it, nic has stolen it from us.
Proud to be quit with you.
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Day 5 is one heck of a start.
Here is a brief timeline on how my quit is going, I'm not sure if it's helpful or not but I made it for another new quitter and he seemed to like it.
"4 days is something to be proud of. The nic is out of your system so it's all fun and games now...right? Well F...guess what? Your body is use to living with nic and now it's mad and is about to really fight you.
The good news is that you understand how to use your tools and you have some good fight in you. The better news is that it gets so much easier very quickly. Now, I realize that "quickly" is a very relative term- as when you are suffering minute to minute, 5 or 6 weeks seem like 100 years. In reality, 5 or 6 weeks is not a very long time.
Keep in mind, I am no expert and I am just going off of what I have experienced the past 67 days. My "suck scale" looked something like this:
Day 1-3: bad fog, my brain didn't work at all. Very little sleep and couldn't take a dump to save my life. I wanted a dip every second of each day.
Day 4-10: Pretty much out of the fog but bad, bad cravings and headache every second of the day
Day 11-14: My cruise control days, I didn't think about dipping much and craves were few and far between. Sleeping good but too much.
Day 15-21 Starting to get my energy level back up. Craves about 2-4 per day and short. The first thing every morning, I started to get an empty and sick feeling in my stomach when I thought about not being able to dip. Started losing my temper easily.
Day 22-25 No real changes, cruising along but feeling a little depressed. I started learning how to hate my addiction and was really mad about it.
Day 26- 30: Wow, I was starting to gain a lot of weight. Weird how I replaced Cope with Ice Cream and cake. I don't even eat sweets but here I am 10 lbs heavier. I don't care, I'm not dipping and the craves are mild.
Day 31-38: Freaking fog was back, some nasty craves and my temper way out of control. WTF!
Day 39-60: The roller coaster days. Mod craves followed by no craves, bad temper and mild depression. A difficult time but I was not giving up at this point.
Day 61-71: The best days by far. Seldom think about dip, temper is way better, sleeping like a normal person and just feeling pretty darn good. I am stacking up these good days to recharge my batteries and prepare for the next round of fights".
Thanks for posting this! It really helps me prepare. At this point I just want to jump ahead because it is just so overwhelming... But I can't so I will push through and overcome!
-
Day 5 is one heck of a start.
Here is a brief timeline on how my quit is going, I'm not sure if it's helpful or not but I made it for another new quitter and he seemed to like it.
"4 days is something to be proud of. The nic is out of your system so it's all fun and games now...right? Well F...guess what? Your body is use to living with nic and now it's mad and is about to really fight you.
The good news is that you understand how to use your tools and you have some good fight in you. The better news is that it gets so much easier very quickly. Now, I realize that "quickly" is a very relative term- as when you are suffering minute to minute, 5 or 6 weeks seem like 100 years. In reality, 5 or 6 weeks is not a very long time.
Keep in mind, I am no expert and I am just going off of what I have experienced the past 67 days. My "suck scale" looked something like this:
Day 1-3: bad fog, my brain didn't work at all. Very little sleep and couldn't take a dump to save my life. I wanted a dip every second of each day.
Day 4-10: Pretty much out of the fog but bad, bad cravings and headache every second of the day
Day 11-14: My cruise control days, I didn't think about dipping much and craves were few and far between. Sleeping good but too much.
Day 15-21 Starting to get my energy level back up. Craves about 2-4 per day and short. The first thing every morning, I started to get an empty and sick feeling in my stomach when I thought about not being able to dip. Started losing my temper easily.
Day 22-25 No real changes, cruising along but feeling a little depressed. I started learning how to hate my addiction and was really mad about it.
Day 26- 30: Wow, I was starting to gain a lot of weight. Weird how I replaced Cope with Ice Cream and cake. I don't even eat sweets but here I am 10 lbs heavier. I don't care, I'm not dipping and the craves are mild.
Day 31-38: Freaking fog was back, some nasty craves and my temper way out of control. WTF!
Day 39-60: The roller coaster days. Mod craves followed by no craves, bad temper and mild depression. A difficult time but I was not giving up at this point.
Day 61-71: The best days by far. Seldom think about dip, temper is way better, sleeping like a normal person and just feeling pretty darn good. I am stacking up these good days to recharge my batteries and prepare for the next round of fights".
Thanks for posting this! It really helps me prepare. At this point I just want to jump ahead because it is just so overwhelming... But I can't so I will push through and overcome!
Quitting "forever" can be overwhelming which is why I'm not a fan of the common definition for the acronym NAFAR (Never Again For Any Reason). Instead I use "Not Any For Any Reason" and One Day At A Time.
Not any for any reason today, Monday, September 30th. Can you handle that? Yes.
+1 ODAAT
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Day 5 is one heck of a start.
Here is a brief timeline on how my quit is going, I'm not sure if it's helpful or not but I made it for another new quitter and he seemed to like it.
"4 days is something to be proud of. The nic is out of your system so it's all fun and games now...right? Well F...guess what? Your body is use to living with nic and now it's mad and is about to really fight you.
The good news is that you understand how to use your tools and you have some good fight in you. The better news is that it gets so much easier very quickly. Now, I realize that "quickly" is a very relative term- as when you are suffering minute to minute, 5 or 6 weeks seem like 100 years. In reality, 5 or 6 weeks is not a very long time.
Keep in mind, I am no expert and I am just going off of what I have experienced the past 67 days. My "suck scale" looked something like this:
Day 1-3: bad fog, my brain didn't work at all. Very little sleep and couldn't take a dump to save my life. I wanted a dip every second of each day.
Day 4-10: Pretty much out of the fog but bad, bad cravings and headache every second of the day
Day 11-14: My cruise control days, I didn't think about dipping much and craves were few and far between. Sleeping good but too much.
Day 15-21 Starting to get my energy level back up. Craves about 2-4 per day and short. The first thing every morning, I started to get an empty and sick feeling in my stomach when I thought about not being able to dip. Started losing my temper easily.
Day 22-25 No real changes, cruising along but feeling a little depressed. I started learning how to hate my addiction and was really mad about it.
Day 26- 30: Wow, I was starting to gain a lot of weight. Weird how I replaced Cope with Ice Cream and cake. I don't even eat sweets but here I am 10 lbs heavier. I don't care, I'm not dipping and the craves are mild.
Day 31-38: Freaking fog was back, some nasty craves and my temper way out of control. WTF!
Day 39-60: The roller coaster days. Mod craves followed by no craves, bad temper and mild depression. A difficult time but I was not giving up at this point.
Day 61-71: The best days by far. Seldom think about dip, temper is way better, sleeping like a normal person and just feeling pretty darn good. I am stacking up these good days to recharge my batteries and prepare for the next round of fights".
Thanks for posting this! It really helps me prepare. At this point I just want to jump ahead because it is just so overwhelming... But I can't so I will push through and overcome!
Not a problem man, I've got this with you, it's not going to be an issue.
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You can do this! If I can do this you can too. I am an addict but each day I fight off this addiction I come one step closer to taking my life back. You have been given some very sage advice. I urge you to quit lie a beast today. Do not worry about tomorrow or the next day, just focus on today.
Pinched
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The realization came at day 6!
Addicted to me meant something that I wanted in the moment or every so often. A perfect example was Mountain Dew. I drank about 80 ounces of Dew per day back when I was starting out in the work world. I would get headaches on the weekends and would buy Dew to avoid them. I finally said enough and quit drinking it. It was difficult at first but then it became very easy. I actually enjoyed losing the weight and feeling better about myself. Occasionally I still have a Dew when I have been working in the yard on the weekendÂ… but other than that I really donÂ’t have any.
For 24 years I treated chew like DewÂ… I could stop at any time, I was doing it to chill, because that is what my friends did, it was relaxing and took the edge offÂ… just like chilling on the couchÂ… Then I started to be concerned with the costÂ… with how my mouth felt.. with a doctor encouraging me to quitÂ… So I triedÂ… and tried and triedÂ… Chantix lasted about 4 days, nic gum lasted 8 hours, nic lozenges lasted 12 hoursÂ…
Then, prior to finding KTC, I went on a 5 day journey of quitting every day. I found myself at night not being able to resist the urge and I would buy a can, chew, and throw out the can. Day 4 of this journey I was sick of it, took my credit cards, cash, changeÂ… anything to do with money and handed it over to my wife. I knew I was weak and I didn't know how to not buy a can other than not having the means to do so. That day I found myself rummaging through drawers, closets etcÂ… until, walking into my sons room, there was a sense of relief as I saw his wallet on the floor. I opened it and there was cash. I took $5, ran to the nearest gas station and got the chew.
What a fucking loser I wasÂ… stealing from my own kids, rummaging through drawers so I could have that next dipÂ… what was going on with me! I felt like a crack addictÂ… but I wasn'tÂ… it was just chew. I was a good dad, a good husband, a good coach and attended church on Sunday. I just wasn't honest about what I was doingÂ… that was the problem... so I thoughtÂ…
9/23 my wife ran across KTC and sent me the link. I looked it over, but wasn't too into it. On 9/24 at 10 pm I was bored, decided to check the site out and the next thing I knew I was posting roll-callÂ… I have now been quit for 9 days!
The first 4 days I was crazy, no sleep, increased heart rate, anger, depression, craves, isolation, confusion, mouth sores, regret, sadness, desire for the bear, in a fog, losing track of reality, hopelessness etc. Then day 5 hit and it was full of energy.. and anger and felt I was on my way to breaking this (as one fellow quitter said.. I felt like I could kick SupermanÂ’s ass).
Then Day 6 hit, I posted my previous writing and I truly was longing for return. I wasn’t sure I could keep going on with this! Chewing seemed much easier than dealing with this shit. Then a fellow quitter shared a quote that went something like “the difference between a crack head and me is the choice of drug” At first I was pissed off because I was not like a crack head… I was not an addict… Then reality hit me upside the head… I am a fucking addict! How the hell could this have happened to me? How could I have been so stupid for 24 years! Every day for 24 years I bought an individual can, talking myself into I will quit… I felt like screaming.. no crying.. no hitting something… get this out of me! I don’t want to be victim anymore. I am an addict! I am an addict! I am an addict!
With this realization I have found strength to carry on, to not be defined by a Kodiak out for my demise, but taking control of myself, knowing I am an addict and owning it.. .and at day 9Â… I am feeling powerful! Yesterday I made an official declaration of my freedom from the nic bitch by signing my name to my insurance that I am NOT a tobacco user!
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Good for you buddy.
You are going to have some really good days soon. Take those good days and recharge and get ready for some more difficult fights.
I think once I got really mad at my addiction, things got a little easier and it looks like you are there now.
I quit with you.
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The realization came at day 6!
Addicted to me meant something that I wanted in the moment or every so often. A perfect example was Mountain Dew. I drank about 80 ounces of Dew per day back when I was starting out in the work world. I would get headaches on the weekends and would buy Dew to avoid them. I finally said enough and quit drinking it. It was difficult at first but then it became very easy. I actually enjoyed losing the weight and feeling better about myself. Occasionally I still have a Dew when I have been working in the yard on the weekendÂ… but other than that I really donÂ’t have any.
For 24 years I treated chew like DewÂ… I could stop at any time, I was doing it to chill, because that is what my friends did, it was relaxing and took the edge offÂ… just like chilling on the couchÂ… Then I started to be concerned with the costÂ… with how my mouth felt.. with a doctor encouraging me to quitÂ… So I triedÂ… and tried and triedÂ… Chantix lasted about 4 days, nic gum lasted 8 hours, nic lozenges lasted 12 hoursÂ…
Then, prior to finding KTC, I went on a 5 day journey of quitting every day. I found myself at night not being able to resist the urge and I would buy a can, chew, and throw out the can. Day 4 of this journey I was sick of it, took my credit cards, cash, changeÂ… anything to do with money and handed it over to my wife. I knew I was weak and I didn't know how to not buy a can other than not having the means to do so. That day I found myself rummaging through drawers, closets etcÂ… until, walking into my sons room, there was a sense of relief as I saw his wallet on the floor. I opened it and there was cash. I took $5, ran to the nearest gas station and got the chew.
What a fucking loser I wasÂ… stealing from my own kids, rummaging through drawers so I could have that next dipÂ… what was going on with me! I felt like a crack addictÂ… but I wasn'tÂ… it was just chew. I was a good dad, a good husband, a good coach and attended church on Sunday. I just wasn't honest about what I was doingÂ… that was the problem... so I thoughtÂ…
9/23 my wife ran across KTC and sent me the link. I looked it over, but wasn't too into it. On 9/24 at 10 pm I was bored, decided to check the site out and the next thing I knew I was posting roll-callÂ… I have now been quit for 9 days!
The first 4 days I was crazy, no sleep, increased heart rate, anger, depression, craves, isolation, confusion, mouth sores, regret, sadness, desire for the bear, in a fog, losing track of reality, hopelessness etc. Then day 5 hit and it was full of energy.. and anger and felt I was on my way to breaking this (as one fellow quitter said.. I felt like I could kick SupermanÂ’s ass).
Then Day 6 hit, I posted my previous writing and I truly was longing for return. I wasn’t sure I could keep going on with this! Chewing seemed much easier than dealing with this shit. Then a fellow quitter shared a quote that went something like “the difference between a crack head and me is the choice of drug” At first I was pissed off because I was not like a crack head… I was not an addict… Then reality hit me upside the head… I am a fucking addict! How the hell could this have happened to me? How could I have been so stupid for 24 years! Every day for 24 years I bought an individual can, talking myself into I will quit… I felt like screaming.. no crying.. no hitting something… get this out of me! I don’t want to be victim anymore. I am an addict! I am an addict! I am an addict!
With this realization I have found strength to carry on, to not be defined by a Kodiak out for my demise, but taking control of myself, knowing I am an addict and owning it.. .and at day 9Â… I am feeling powerful! Yesterday I made an official declaration of my freedom from the nic bitch by signing my name to my insurance that I am NOT a tobacco user!
Keep up the quit brother! Im on day 3 and Ive had cravings as well but I decided to clean up my diet and excercise in place of dipping and this morning I felt like I could kick supermans ass! Its a great feeling and we will only continue to feel better about ourselves the longer we abstain from the nasty dip! Stay strong and I quit with you!
Josh/taterhater139
-
The realization came at day 6!
Addicted to me meant something that I wanted in the moment or every so often. A perfect example was Mountain Dew. I drank about 80 ounces of Dew per day back when I was starting out in the work world. I would get headaches on the weekends and would buy Dew to avoid them. I finally said enough and quit drinking it. It was difficult at first but then it became very easy. I actually enjoyed losing the weight and feeling better about myself. Occasionally I still have a Dew when I have been working in the yard on the weekendÂ… but other than that I really donÂ’t have any.
For 24 years I treated chew like DewÂ… I could stop at any time, I was doing it to chill, because that is what my friends did, it was relaxing and took the edge offÂ… just like chilling on the couchÂ… Then I started to be concerned with the costÂ… with how my mouth felt.. with a doctor encouraging me to quitÂ… So I triedÂ… and tried and triedÂ… Chantix lasted about 4 days, nic gum lasted 8 hours, nic lozenges lasted 12 hoursÂ…
Then, prior to finding KTC, I went on a 5 day journey of quitting every day. I found myself at night not being able to resist the urge and I would buy a can, chew, and throw out the can. Day 4 of this journey I was sick of it, took my credit cards, cash, changeÂ… anything to do with money and handed it over to my wife. I knew I was weak and I didn't know how to not buy a can other than not having the means to do so. That day I found myself rummaging through drawers, closets etcÂ… until, walking into my sons room, there was a sense of relief as I saw his wallet on the floor. I opened it and there was cash. I took $5, ran to the nearest gas station and got the chew.
What a fucking loser I wasÂ… stealing from my own kids, rummaging through drawers so I could have that next dipÂ… what was going on with me! I felt like a crack addictÂ… but I wasn'tÂ… it was just chew. I was a good dad, a good husband, a good coach and attended church on Sunday. I just wasn't honest about what I was doingÂ… that was the problem... so I thoughtÂ…
9/23 my wife ran across KTC and sent me the link. I looked it over, but wasn't too into it. On 9/24 at 10 pm I was bored, decided to check the site out and the next thing I knew I was posting roll-callÂ… I have now been quit for 9 days!
The first 4 days I was crazy, no sleep, increased heart rate, anger, depression, craves, isolation, confusion, mouth sores, regret, sadness, desire for the bear, in a fog, losing track of reality, hopelessness etc. Then day 5 hit and it was full of energy.. and anger and felt I was on my way to breaking this (as one fellow quitter said.. I felt like I could kick SupermanÂ’s ass).
Then Day 6 hit, I posted my previous writing and I truly was longing for return. I wasn’t sure I could keep going on with this! Chewing seemed much easier than dealing with this shit. Then a fellow quitter shared a quote that went something like “the difference between a crack head and me is the choice of drug” At first I was pissed off because I was not like a crack head… I was not an addict… Then reality hit me upside the head… I am a fucking addict! How the hell could this have happened to me? How could I have been so stupid for 24 years! Every day for 24 years I bought an individual can, talking myself into I will quit… I felt like screaming.. no crying.. no hitting something… get this out of me! I don’t want to be victim anymore. I am an addict! I am an addict! I am an addict!
With this realization I have found strength to carry on, to not be defined by a Kodiak out for my demise, but taking control of myself, knowing I am an addict and owning it.. .and at day 9Â… I am feeling powerful! Yesterday I made an official declaration of my freedom from the nic bitch by signing my name to my insurance that I am NOT a tobacco user!
Keep up the quit brother! Im on day 3 and Ive had cravings as well but I decided to clean up my diet and excercise in place of dipping and this morning I felt like I could kick supermans ass! Its a great feeling and we will only continue to feel better about ourselves the longer we abstain from the nasty dip! Stay strong and I quit with you!
Josh/taterhater139
Keep pushing through. You going to began uncovering the lies daily. It is one thing for us to tell you the truths, but its another to see them and feel them. Each day you win makes the battle easier. Nafar and odaat my friend. Quit with you.
-
More good stuff Sport. You are doing this, and inspiring the rest of us on the way.
Keep the good quit up.
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More good stuff Sport. You are doing this, and inspiring the rest of us on the way.
Keep the good quit up.
Thanks Cali!
-
The realization came at day 6!
Addicted to me meant something that I wanted in the moment or every so often. A perfect example was Mountain Dew. I drank about 80 ounces of Dew per day back when I was starting out in the work world. I would get headaches on the weekends and would buy Dew to avoid them. I finally said enough and quit drinking it. It was difficult at first but then it became very easy. I actually enjoyed losing the weight and feeling better about myself. Occasionally I still have a Dew when I have been working in the yard on the weekendÂ… but other than that I really donÂ’t have any.
For 24 years I treated chew like DewÂ… I could stop at any time, I was doing it to chill, because that is what my friends did, it was relaxing and took the edge offÂ… just like chilling on the couchÂ…Â Then I started to be concerned with the costÂ… with how my mouth felt.. with a doctor encouraging me to quitÂ… So I triedÂ… and tried and triedÂ… Chantix lasted about 4 days, nic gum lasted 8 hours, nic lozenges lasted 12 hoursÂ…
Then, prior to finding KTC, I went on a 5 day journey of quitting every day. I found myself at night not being able to resist the urge and I would buy a can, chew, and throw out the can. Day 4 of this journey I was sick of it, took my credit cards, cash, changeÂ… anything to do with money and handed it over to my wife. I knew I was weak and I didn't know how to not buy a can other than not having the means to do so. That day I found myself rummaging through drawers, closets etcÂ… until, walking into my sons room, there was a sense of relief as I saw his wallet on the floor. I opened it and there was cash. I took $5, ran to the nearest gas station and got the chew.
What a fucking loser I wasÂ… stealing from my own kids, rummaging through drawers so I could have that next dipÂ… what was going on with me! I felt like a crack addictÂ… but I wasn'tÂ… it was just chew. I was a good dad, a good husband, a good coach and attended church on Sunday. I just wasn't honest about what I was doingÂ… that was the problem... so I thoughtÂ…
9/23 my wife ran across KTC and sent me the link. I looked it over, but wasn't too into it. On 9/24 at 10 pm I was bored, decided to check the site out and the next thing I knew I was posting roll-callÂ… I have now been quit for 9 days!
The first 4 days I was crazy, no sleep, increased heart rate, anger, depression, craves, isolation, confusion, mouth sores, regret, sadness, desire for the bear, in a fog, losing track of reality, hopelessness etc. Then day 5 hit and it was full of energy.. and anger and felt I was on my way to breaking this (as one fellow quitter said.. I felt like I could kick SupermanÂ’s ass).
Then Day 6 hit, I posted my previous writing and I truly was longing for return. I wasn’t sure I could keep going on with this! Chewing seemed much easier than dealing with this shit. Then a fellow quitter shared a quote that went something like “the difference between a crack head and me is the choice of drug” At first I was pissed off because I was not like a crack head… I was not an addict… Then reality hit me upside the head… I am a fucking addict! How the hell could this have happened to me? How could I have been so stupid for 24 years! Every day for 24 years I bought an individual can, talking myself into I will quit… I felt like screaming.. no crying.. no hitting something… get this out of me! I don’t want to be victim anymore. I am an addict! I am an addict! I am an addict!
With this realization I have found strength to carry on, to not be defined by a Kodiak out for my demise, but taking control of myself, knowing I am an addict and owning it.. .and at day 9Â… I am feeling powerful! Yesterday I made an official declaration of my freedom from the nic bitch by signing my name to my insurance that I am NOT a tobacco user!
Keep up the quit brother! Im on day 3 and Ive had cravings as well but I decided to clean up my diet and excercise in place of dipping and this morning I felt like I could kick supermans ass! Its a great feeling and we will only continue to feel better about ourselves the longer we abstain from the nasty dip! Stay strong and I quit with you!
Josh/taterhater139
Keep pushing through. You going to began uncovering the lies daily. It is one thing for us to tell you the truths, but its another to see them and feel them. Each day you win makes the battle easier. Nafar and odaat my friend. Quit with you.
Good post Sports! You are winning back your freedom today!
I read thru that post of yours from this morning I could relate to all that stuff. I remember being at the gas station on many an occassion and not having a credit card on hand or enough cash for a can of the evil weed... I would be in the parking lot scouring my car top to bottom to find any loose change... in the seats, under the seats, in the glove box... frantically loooking so I could to find enough to get my fix on. If I could not find enough I'd have to go home money I would be totally stressed out. Man, that is no way to live!
We have uncovered the truths of our addicition. Don't get down cuz your an addict or think of yourself as a loser because of it. Never do that! It does not make you a bad person. The chemicals in this evil can are designed to suck us in... they are designed to make addicts. That is why it is so hard to get away from it. But you are doing it today! You are quitting today I'm here with you! Feels pretty damn good! Keep on keepin on today!
-
The realization came at day 6!
Addicted to me meant something that I wanted in the moment or every so often. A perfect example was Mountain Dew. I drank about 80 ounces of Dew per day back when I was starting out in the work world. I would get headaches on the weekends and would buy Dew to avoid them. I finally said enough and quit drinking it. It was difficult at first but then it became very easy. I actually enjoyed losing the weight and feeling better about myself. Occasionally I still have a Dew when I have been working in the yard on the weekendÂ… but other than that I really donÂ’t have any.
For 24 years I treated chew like DewÂ… I could stop at any time, I was doing it to chill, because that is what my friends did, it was relaxing and took the edge offÂ… just like chilling on the couchÂ…Â Then I started to be concerned with the costÂ… with how my mouth felt.. with a doctor encouraging me to quitÂ… So I triedÂ… and tried and triedÂ… Chantix lasted about 4 days, nic gum lasted 8 hours, nic lozenges lasted 12 hoursÂ…
Then, prior to finding KTC, I went on a 5 day journey of quitting every day. I found myself at night not being able to resist the urge and I would buy a can, chew, and throw out the can. Day 4 of this journey I was sick of it, took my credit cards, cash, changeÂ… anything to do with money and handed it over to my wife. I knew I was weak and I didn't know how to not buy a can other than not having the means to do so. That day I found myself rummaging through drawers, closets etcÂ… until, walking into my sons room, there was a sense of relief as I saw his wallet on the floor. I opened it and there was cash. I took $5, ran to the nearest gas station and got the chew.
What a fucking loser I wasÂ… stealing from my own kids, rummaging through drawers so I could have that next dipÂ… what was going on with me! I felt like a crack addictÂ… but I wasn'tÂ… it was just chew. I was a good dad, a good husband, a good coach and attended church on Sunday. I just wasn't honest about what I was doingÂ… that was the problem... so I thoughtÂ…
9/23 my wife ran across KTC and sent me the link. I looked it over, but wasn't too into it. On 9/24 at 10 pm I was bored, decided to check the site out and the next thing I knew I was posting roll-callÂ… I have now been quit for 9 days!
The first 4 days I was crazy, no sleep, increased heart rate, anger, depression, craves, isolation, confusion, mouth sores, regret, sadness, desire for the bear, in a fog, losing track of reality, hopelessness etc. Then day 5 hit and it was full of energy.. and anger and felt I was on my way to breaking this (as one fellow quitter said.. I felt like I could kick SupermanÂ’s ass).
Then Day 6 hit, I posted my previous writing and I truly was longing for return. I wasn’t sure I could keep going on with this! Chewing seemed much easier than dealing with this shit. Then a fellow quitter shared a quote that went something like “the difference between a crack head and me is the choice of drug” At first I was pissed off because I was not like a crack head… I was not an addict… Then reality hit me upside the head… I am a fucking addict! How the hell could this have happened to me? How could I have been so stupid for 24 years! Every day for 24 years I bought an individual can, talking myself into I will quit… I felt like screaming.. no crying.. no hitting something… get this out of me! I don’t want to be victim anymore. I am an addict! I am an addict! I am an addict!
With this realization I have found strength to carry on, to not be defined by a Kodiak out for my demise, but taking control of myself, knowing I am an addict and owning it.. .and at day 9Â… I am feeling powerful! Yesterday I made an official declaration of my freedom from the nic bitch by signing my name to my insurance that I am NOT a tobacco user!
Keep up the quit brother! Im on day 3 and Ive had cravings as well but I decided to clean up my diet and excercise in place of dipping and this morning I felt like I could kick supermans ass! Its a great feeling and we will only continue to feel better about ourselves the longer we abstain from the nasty dip! Stay strong and I quit with you!
Josh/taterhater139
Keep pushing through. You going to began uncovering the lies daily. It is one thing for us to tell you the truths, but its another to see them and feel them. Each day you win makes the battle easier. Nafar and odaat my friend. Quit with you.
Good post Sports! You are winning back your freedom today!
I read thru that post of yours from this morning I could relate to all that stuff. I remember being at the gas station on many an occassion and not having a credit card on hand or enough cash for a can of the evil weed... I would be in the parking lot scouring my car top to bottom to find any loose change... in the seats, under the seats, in the glove box... frantically loooking so I could to find enough to get my fix on. If I could not find enough I'd have to go home money I would be totally stressed out. Man, that is no way to live!
We have uncovered the truths of our addicition. Don't get down cuz your an addict or think of yourself as a loser because of it. Never do that! It does not make you a bad person. The chemicals in this evil can are designed to suck us in... they are designed to make addicts. That is why it is so hard to get away from it. But you are doing it today! You are quitting today I'm here with you! Feels pretty damn good! Keep on keepin on today!
Thanks for the reply man... it is a strength knowing that I have people who understand this shit! Back in my day... and I hate to admit it... I just stole the can if I didn't have the money... f'd up!
-
The realization came at day 6!
Addicted to me meant something that I wanted in the moment or every so often. A perfect example was Mountain Dew. I drank about 80 ounces of Dew per day back when I was starting out in the work world. I would get headaches on the weekends and would buy Dew to avoid them. I finally said enough and quit drinking it. It was difficult at first but then it became very easy. I actually enjoyed losing the weight and feeling better about myself. Occasionally I still have a Dew when I have been working in the yard on the weekendÂ… but other than that I really donÂ’t have any.
For 24 years I treated chew like DewÂ… I could stop at any time, I was doing it to chill, because that is what my friends did, it was relaxing and took the edge offÂ… just like chilling on the couchÂ…Â Then I started to be concerned with the costÂ… with how my mouth felt.. with a doctor encouraging me to quitÂ… So I triedÂ… and tried and triedÂ… Chantix lasted about 4 days, nic gum lasted 8 hours, nic lozenges lasted 12 hoursÂ…
Then, prior to finding KTC, I went on a 5 day journey of quitting every day. I found myself at night not being able to resist the urge and I would buy a can, chew, and throw out the can. Day 4 of this journey I was sick of it, took my credit cards, cash, changeÂ… anything to do with money and handed it over to my wife. I knew I was weak and I didn't know how to not buy a can other than not having the means to do so. That day I found myself rummaging through drawers, closets etcÂ… until, walking into my sons room, there was a sense of relief as I saw his wallet on the floor. I opened it and there was cash. I took $5, ran to the nearest gas station and got the chew.
What a fucking loser I wasÂ… stealing from my own kids, rummaging through drawers so I could have that next dipÂ… what was going on with me! I felt like a crack addictÂ… but I wasn'tÂ… it was just chew. I was a good dad, a good husband, a good coach and attended church on Sunday. I just wasn't honest about what I was doingÂ… that was the problem... so I thoughtÂ…
9/23 my wife ran across KTC and sent me the link. I looked it over, but wasn't too into it. On 9/24 at 10 pm I was bored, decided to check the site out and the next thing I knew I was posting roll-callÂ… I have now been quit for 9 days!
The first 4 days I was crazy, no sleep, increased heart rate, anger, depression, craves, isolation, confusion, mouth sores, regret, sadness, desire for the bear, in a fog, losing track of reality, hopelessness etc. Then day 5 hit and it was full of energy.. and anger and felt I was on my way to breaking this (as one fellow quitter said.. I felt like I could kick SupermanÂ’s ass).
Then Day 6 hit, I posted my previous writing and I truly was longing for return. I wasn’t sure I could keep going on with this! Chewing seemed much easier than dealing with this shit. Then a fellow quitter shared a quote that went something like “the difference between a crack head and me is the choice of drug” At first I was pissed off because I was not like a crack head… I was not an addict… Then reality hit me upside the head… I am a fucking addict! How the hell could this have happened to me? How could I have been so stupid for 24 years! Every day for 24 years I bought an individual can, talking myself into I will quit… I felt like screaming.. no crying.. no hitting something… get this out of me! I don’t want to be victim anymore. I am an addict! I am an addict! I am an addict!
With this realization I have found strength to carry on, to not be defined by a Kodiak out for my demise, but taking control of myself, knowing I am an addict and owning it.. .and at day 9Â… I am feeling powerful! Yesterday I made an official declaration of my freedom from the nic bitch by signing my name to my insurance that I am NOT a tobacco user!
Keep up the quit brother! Im on day 3 and Ive had cravings as well but I decided to clean up my diet and excercise in place of dipping and this morning I felt like I could kick supermans ass! Its a great feeling and we will only continue to feel better about ourselves the longer we abstain from the nasty dip! Stay strong and I quit with you!
Josh/taterhater139
Keep pushing through. You going to began uncovering the lies daily. It is one thing for us to tell you the truths, but its another to see them and feel them. Each day you win makes the battle easier. Nafar and odaat my friend. Quit with you.
Good post Sports! You are winning back your freedom today!
I read thru that post of yours from this morning I could relate to all that stuff. I remember being at the gas station on many an occassion and not having a credit card on hand or enough cash for a can of the evil weed... I would be in the parking lot scouring my car top to bottom to find any loose change... in the seats, under the seats, in the glove box... frantically loooking so I could to find enough to get my fix on. If I could not find enough I'd have to go home money I would be totally stressed out. Man, that is no way to live!
We have uncovered the truths of our addicition. Don't get down cuz your an addict or think of yourself as a loser because of it. Never do that! It does not make you a bad person. The chemicals in this evil can are designed to suck us in... they are designed to make addicts. That is why it is so hard to get away from it. But you are doing it today! You are quitting today I'm here with you! Feels pretty damn good! Keep on keepin on today!
Thanks for the reply man... it is a strength knowing that I have people who understand this shit! Back in my day... and I hate to admit it... I just stole the can if I didn't have the money... f'd up!
You know brother... We have all done things that were messed up. Everyone here has made mistakes while under the influence of the poison. If we were able to control ourselves we would not be here.
You have an opportunity here, as do I. We have the opportunity to change. To put that OLD self behind us. When you wake up, post roll and hold your word - you are building something. You are building the NEW you that is in control of his life. Free from the addiction that has controlled you. Each day you build back that honor and integrity that slowly eroded while you were a slave to the nic b. It is a beautiful thing. We commit to each other every day. Keep your word and you will get your life back.
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The craves continue although I am getting better at resisting. I hate eating lunch because once I am done the crave all afternoon. My saving grace at night is chat. When I sleep I dream of craving.. although I haven't chewed in my dream. I still can't wrap my head around how the nic bitch took over my thoughts, desires, emotions etc. Today I had to call on friend since I was feeling more than anger... I wanted to lash out. But I talked and felt better! It is like a game... but then reality hits!
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The craves continue although I am getting better at resisting. I hate eating lunch because once I am done the crave all afternoon. My saving grace at night is chat. When I sleep I dream of craving.. although I haven't chewed in my dream. I still can't wrap my head around how the nic bitch took over my thoughts, desires, emotions etc. Today I had to call on friend since I was feeling more than anger... I wanted to lash out. But I talked and felt better! It is like a game... but then reality hits!
Your doing great, be proud friend. Quitting sucks. I remember being where your at. It was not long ago. It was so worth it!! My life now is so much better without the poison. Stay the course,,, you have no idea how much better things will be for you.
You stated you can't wrap your head around how. I always recommend reading everything you can get your hands on about nicotine and addiction. Learning this addiction will help you understand and makes the battle easier.
Quitting comes from deep brother. Your building a new you. The foundation is the hardest part. You will complete it one day at a time.
My last word. You stated your getting better at resisting. Brother,, for over 7 days you have not touched the poison. That's resisting at its finest for over 1 week. You got this and I'm damn proud to be quit with you.
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The craves continue although I am getting better at resisting. I hate eating lunch because once I am done the crave all afternoon. My saving grace at night is chat. When I sleep I dream of craving.. although I haven't chewed in my dream. I still can't wrap my head around how the nic bitch took over my thoughts, desires, emotions etc. Today I had to call on friend since I was feeling more than anger... I wanted to lash out. But I talked and felt better! It is like a game... but then reality hits!
Your doing great, be proud friend. Quitting sucks. I remember being where your at. It was not long ago. It was so worth it!! My life now is so much better without the poison. Stay the course,,, you have no idea how much better things will be for you.
You stated you can't wrap your head around how. I always recommend reading everything you can get your hands on about nicotine and addiction. Learning this addiction will help you understand and makes the battle easier.
Quitting comes from deep brother. Your building a new you. The foundation is the hardest part. You will complete it one day at a time.
My last word. You stated your getting better at resisting. Brother,, for over 7 days you have not touched the poison. That's resisting at its finest for over 1 week. You got this and I'm damn proud to be quit with you.
Posting day 11 today is a big accomplishment. Nice job talking thru the anger yesterday. That is how you have to do it. Try to turn the tables today at lunch... instead of dreading eating lunch... man, look forward to lunch today! Then sit thru those craves all afternoon revel in the fact that you are QLF. Get up take a walk, drink some water, chew a piece of gum... whatever it takes. Remember that every crave killed today is a victory. You are winning this battle brother! I'm quit with you today!
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I've found that throwing 3 or 4 pieces of gum in at the same time and chewing it like I was trying to destroy it has helped the craves and also snuff out (pardon the pun) the anger. I take it out on the gum because the gum takes it and never complains about how rough I'm being.
QLF today with you brother. Proud to be a Dec 2013 Super Soldier with you.
jz
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Go to the gym, get some serious cardio. And drink water all day.
The trick to drinking water is not to gulp it, but to sip it. This was it soaks into your body instead of running through.
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Jail Time:
Never had I thought in the 24 years that I was in jail cell. Now I feel it more than ever. My brain plays tricks on me... I expect to be getting that chew after dinner.. .but I am quit!! I know I need a re-wire.. but how long does that take. I hate that I an addict and will have to deal with this forever. I hate seeing the 22 yr old at work spitting in his cup... know what it will be like 24 years later. Nicotine is the BITCH... the one that never wants to leave no matter how many times you kick her out of your head. She had worked her way into every facet of my awake self.. telling me I want more and more and more. She continues to try and consume my thoughts and desire.
I have anger... anger that enables me to to be a Nic Killer! That anger is something that prompts me to get up and get busy! It is an anger that I have felt since day 1 but only now am I beginning to use it in a healthy way. I chose this path.. now it is up to me to deal with it and fight. Something when in jail (dipping), I didn't... couldn't have done! Today I am grateful for feeling.. even if it means I need to hit the gym or hit the punching bag... I am a NIC KILLER!!!!
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Jail Time:
Never had I thought in the 24 years that I was in jail cell. Now I feel it more than ever. My brain plays tricks on me... I expect to be getting that chew after dinner.. .but I am quit!! I know I need a re-wire.. but how long does that take. I hate that I an addict and will have to deal with this forever. I hate seeing the 22 yr old at work spitting in his cup... know what it will be like 24 years later. Nicotine is the BITCH... the one that never wants to leave no matter how many times you kick her out of your head. She had worked her way into every facet of my awake self.. telling me I want more and more and more. She continues to try and consume my thoughts and desire.
I have anger... anger that enables me to to be a Nic Killer! That anger is something that prompts me to get up and get busy! It is an anger that I have felt since day 1 but only now am I beginning to use it in a healthy way. I chose this path.. now it is up to me to deal with it and fight. Something when in jail (dipping), I didn't... couldn't have done! Today I am grateful for feeling.. even if it means I need to hit the gym or hit the punching bag... I am a NIC KILLER!!!!
Dude, you're 16 days in your quit today. You've got this thing licked. Get mad at her. Stomp a mudhole in that evil bitch's ass and walk it dry and when you get done, tell her to make you bacon sandwich!!
Seriously though, It does suck but its just mind games now. Stay busy. Do what you gotta do to get her out of your head. Hell, if you lived closer, we could hop on our bikes and we'd blast down the road for some 2 wheel therapy. 'oh yeah'
Call or text me if you want to reach out brother. I quit with you everyday!
'pump'
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I know I need a re-wire.. but how long does that take.
I got good news and bad. I like to start with good news first!!! You will do this one day at at a time. You screwed your brain for years,, I say again YEARS!! I'll let you add the days up on your own. You'll probably need a calculator. I say that to say this,,, 16 days is just the beginning. I didn't begin feeling better until about 40 days in. Maybe you will be different though,, you never no. In time you will start to feel better and begin feeling somewhat normal. What is normal exactly!?!? Your guess is as good as mine.
Bad news. There is a door you need to get to. This door is hard to get to and open. Sharpen your tools, settle in and make your way to the door. I can't tell you how far the door is or how long it will be before you get to this door. You WILL get there one day at a time. I make you one promise and you can take it to the bank. You stay the course, and live by this rule (nafar) you will love where this quit takes you. Life is so much better without the poison. Glad to be quit with you.
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Jail is much worse than not dipping according to some friend's of mine...lol...
Dude, you are in the mix of the hurt right now. Day 15 was when it started getting a lot easier for me. Of coarse, there were days later on that got a lot harder but you learn to take the good days, as a time to heal and get ready to fight the hard days.
You have the strength to do this brother.
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Jail Time:
Never had I thought in the 24 years that I was in jail cell. Now I feel it more than ever. My brain plays tricks on me... I expect to be getting that chew after dinner.. .but I am quit!! I know I need a re-wire.. but how long does that take. I hate that I an addict and will have to deal with this forever. I hate seeing the 22 yr old at work spitting in his cup... know what it will be like 24 years later. Nicotine is the BITCH... the one that never wants to leave no matter how many times you kick her out of your head. She had worked her way into every facet of my awake self.. telling me I want more and more and more. She continues to try and consume my thoughts and desire.
I have anger... anger that enables me to to be a Nic Killer! That anger is something that prompts me to get up and get busy! It is an anger that I have felt since day 1 but only now am I beginning to use it in a healthy way. I chose this path.. now it is up to me to deal with it and fight. Something when in jail (dipping), I didn't... couldn't have done! Today I am grateful for feeling.. even if it means I need to hit the gym or hit the punching bag... I am a NIC KILLER!!!!
Dude, you're 16 days in your quit today. You've got this thing licked. Get mad at her. Stomp a mudhole in that evil bitch's ass and walk it dry and when you get done, tell her to make you bacon sandwich!!
Seriously though, It does suck but its just mind games now. Stay busy. Do what you gotta do to get her out of your head. Hell, if you lived closer, we could hop on our bikes and we'd blast down the road for some 2 wheel therapy. 'oh yeah'
Call or text me if you want to reach out brother. I quit with you everyday!
'pump'
I disagree. You have nothing licked yet. I understand Punkin may have meant that a little differently, but never...... NEVER let your guard down. That's when this addiction will kick your ass. When things seems to get easy, enjoy it, but remain vigilant. Nicotine is sneaky.
Read SRANS's post. That is the gospel. Until that door slams shut, we have to fight this thing constantly.
I'm angry too. Read my HOF speech (linked below) and you'll get that. Channel that anger. It worked for me. That speech was a long time ago. I used the word "habit" a few times. I was an idiot in that respect.
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Jail Time:
Never had I thought in the 24 years that I was in jail cell. Now I feel it more than ever. My brain plays tricks on me... I expect to be getting that chew after dinner.. .but I am quit!! I know I need a re-wire.. but how long does that take. I hate that I an addict and will have to deal with this forever. I hate seeing the 22 yr old at work spitting in his cup... know what it will be like 24 years later. Nicotine is the BITCH... the one that never wants to leave no matter how many times you kick her out of your head. She had worked her way into every facet of my awake self.. telling me I want more and more and more. She continues to try and consume my thoughts and desire.
I have anger... anger that enables me to to be a Nic Killer! That anger is something that prompts me to get up and get busy! It is an anger that I have felt since day 1 but only now am I beginning to use it in a healthy way. I chose this path.. now it is up to me to deal with it and fight. Something when in jail (dipping), I didn't... couldn't have done! Today I am grateful for feeling.. even if it means I need to hit the gym or hit the punching bag... I am a NIC KILLER!!!!
Dude, you're 16 days in your quit today. You've got this thing licked. Get mad at her. Stomp a mudhole in that evil bitch's ass and walk it dry and when you get done, tell her to make you bacon sandwich!!
Seriously though, It does suck but its just mind games now. Stay busy. Do what you gotta do to get her out of your head. Hell, if you lived closer, we could hop on our bikes and we'd blast down the road for some 2 wheel therapy. 'oh yeah'
Call or text me if you want to reach out brother. I quit with you everyday!
'pump'
I disagree. You have nothing licked yet. I understand Punkin may have meant that a little differently, but never...... NEVER let your guard down. That's when this addiction will kick your ass. When things seems to get easy, enjoy it, but remain vigilant. Nicotine is sneaky.
Read SRANS's post. That is the gospel. Until that door slams shut, we have to fight this thing constantly.
I'm angry too. Read my HOF speech (linked below) and you'll get that. Channel that anger. It worked for me. That speech was a long time ago. I used the word "habit" a few times. I was an idiot in that respect.
Listen to Radman. BTW... You were running around in jail the entire time you were dipping... u just did not realize it. That was the jail sentence!!! You were mind numb to it!
The day you decided to quit is the day you were released from your prison sentence. You are Free brother!! You are quit today!!! The goal for today is simple... stay quit stay out of jail! Right now, you are learning how to live outside your cell. This is not unlike an inmate that has been locked up for a long time behind bars.
It will take time to adjust and you do not have anything licked! You need to keep at this today! Stay to the KTC plan do what it takes to stay quit today. You can do this brother!!! Quit with you today!
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I know I need a re-wire.. but how long does that take.
I got good news and bad. I like to start with good news first!!! You will do this one day at at a time. You screwed your brain for years,, I say again YEARS!! I'll let you add the days up on your own. You'll probably need a calculator. I say that to say this,,, 16 days is just the beginning. I didn't begin feeling better until about 40 days in. Maybe you will be different though,, you never no. In time you will start to feel better and begin feeling somewhat normal. What is normal exactly!?!? Your guess is as good as mine.
Bad news. There is a door you need to get to. This door is hard to get to and open. Sharpen your tools, settle in and make your way to the door. I can't tell you how far the door is or how long it will be before you get to this door. You WILL get there one day at a time. I make you one promise and you can take it to the bank. You stay the course, and live by this rule (nafar) you will love where this quit takes you. Life is so much better without the poison. Glad to be quit with you.
What Srans said. 16 days in is awesome, but it's just the beginning. I was 50 days basically before I'm just starting to feel better now. So just look at it as one day at a time. That's the way you'll get to taht door for sure!
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Day 32!
I never thought I would be here... but it feels FUCKING AWESOME! Yes my mouth is still healing... yes I still have to damn urges and the nic bitch tries to fuck with me... but never again! She fucked with me for 24 years... I am glad to see her gone.
Today I feel UNSTOPPABLE... POWERFUL... SUCCESSFUL. I never thought I would feel this way by quitting... it is awesome. To all those just starting a quit... endure... you will be powerful!!
TODAY I QUIT!
Sportster4ever
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Day 32!
I never thought I would be here... but it feels FUCKING AWESOME! Yes my mouth is still healing... yes I still have to damn urges and the nic bitch tries to fuck with me... but never again! She fucked with me for 24 years... I am glad to see her gone.
Today I feel UNSTOPPABLE... POWERFUL... SUCCESSFUL. I never thought I would feel this way by quitting... it is awesome. To all those just starting a quit... endure... you will be powerful!!
TODAY I QUIT!
Sportster4ever
Great job, hold on as day 31 was just like day 1 for me again. It lasted 7 days but when I pulled out of that second fog, things were way easier from that point on.
From my timeline:
"Day 31-38: Freaking fog was back, some nasty craves and my temper way out of control. WTF!"
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Day 32!
I never thought I would be here... but it feels FUCKING AWESOME! Yes my mouth is still healing... yes I still have to damn urges and the nic bitch tries to fuck with me... but never again! She fucked with me for 24 years... I am glad to see her gone.
Today I feel UNSTOPPABLE... POWERFUL... SUCCESSFUL. I never thought I would feel this way by quitting... it is awesome. To all those just starting a quit... endure... you will be powerful!!
TODAY I QUIT!
Sportster4ever
Great job, hold on as day 31 was just like day 1 for me again. It lasted 7 days but when I pulled out of that second fog, things were way easier from that point on.
From my timeline:
"Day 31-38: Freaking fog was back, some nasty craves and my temper way out of control. WTF!"
Enjoy your day my friend. Sharpen those tools and be ready. Trust me,, the poison is not done yet! 32 days is great and shows your determination and drive. Proud of you. One day at a time and congrats on your quit. Glad to be quit with you.