KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: paul-san on May 19, 2016, 02:33:00 PM
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Like so many others before and after me, I used Copenhagen as a means to quit smoking, circa. 1985. Yep, thirty one years ago and I am now 51 years of age. And, like so many others as a strong minded and willful man, I figured IÂ’d easily dump on the dip when the time was right. As a somewhat sane, analytical, and rationale man, I knew I needed to quit.
Cope had been with me through my time in the Air Force, and then start of my civilian career and well into it, with me through two failed marriages and the lifespan of a wonderful Springer Spaniel. Cope has been with me during times of sport, road-trips, house/yardwork, hiking/backpacking and definitely while drinking. Hell, IÂ’ve travelled the world with Cope while on business trips, personal vacations, and even while living abroad in Japan years ago and more recently while living here in the Netherlands from where I am now quitting and writing. I have countless family and personal pictures in front of the grandest of vistas and me there with a big ole dip in. GeeshÂ…..With that, I knew I needed to quit.
With all the trials and tribulations that life has to offer, the stresses life can bring, deservedly and undeservedly so, in some sick and twisted fashion I always felt like my old friend Cope was there with me, indentured, seeing me through. Further strengthening the sick and twisted bond we had formed all those years ago. With that, I knew I needed to quit.
I had entertained a few times during the past thirty years in killing the can but never got to a point that I actually acted on it. IÂ’d align the quit attempt with a move, or the start of a new job, or something really stressful that would doom me to failure with the quit. IÂ’d eventually rationalize, only the way a nicotine addict can, the reasons why itÂ’d be fruitless to try to quit and IÂ’d push it off Â…. again. I knew I needed to quit.
From my folks, my brother, to my ex’es and to my lifetime girlfriend with whom I am with now, there had always been those requests for me to quit or at least to think about quitting. My dearest friends and those of mine that are extended family had offered quiet words in the past regarding my quitting. For years I have been shaking my head, knowing that I need to quit, and stating ‘I’ll quit when the time is right.’ I’d conclude that we all know that I have to want to quit for the quit to be a success. So smart, even then…oh, not me….that ole friend of mine and the nicotine. I knew I needed to quit.
A little over a year ago, my lifetime love and I decided to move here to the Netherlands to take a break from big time corporate America and experience a bit more of a relaxed way of life here in Holland. We’ve had our break and we now contemplate a move back to the good ole USA. Probably sometime this summer. There has been one problem with our plan all along that I am now addressing, yep, the Cope. I’ve had family members and dear friends pack it in for me as they came to visit here in Holland. I’ve had my folks mail it to me via the postal service. It finally dawned on me how fucked up it is that this ‘friend’ of mine had so encroached into my life relationships to a point that I was treating them like they were my mules of an illicit substance. With all the reasons to quit, the cost, the health risks, etc, it is with these reasons snowballed into how I have slighted and mistreated loved ones throughout the years because of the Cope that I am doing it for the right reason. These are the reasons why I have quit. Well, here we are all these years later and the time is right.
I know that I am an addict insomuch that as I close this note tonight, IÂ’d really love to have a dip, hell, it was a trigger sensation while sitting down to craft this bit of prose. I know that the fight is on. Copenhagen has affected every close relationship that I have had in my adult life. So pervasive while not overtly so. ItÂ’s time for me to say goodbye to my old friend. I have real family, real friends, and real friends that I havenÂ’t even met yet that will come before you as they deserve it with what they have to give. You just take it all away and those days are done. Consider me QUIT.
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Paul-san-
Enjoyed reading the above and can relate in many ways as most of the quitters here can.
If you truly want to quit, this is a great place to do it. There are so many tools and so much quit wisdom that if you decide to utilize this place for what it has to offer it can help you in quitting. It can't quit for you but it provides a lot of insight into quitting and there are examples everywhere on this site or it's success.
First in foremost, learn to post roll. That is your promise you will not use nicotine in any form for that day.
Do it every morning right after you take a piss. If you can be a man of your word for a day then you can quit.
Use this intro to document what you will go through during this quit and get ready because it's going to suck for the next few days. You are going to go through some major withdrawals but embrace it. Do not use any NRT stuff- that will just prolong it and it's proven to not be anywhere near as effective as quitting cold turkey.
YOU can do this if this is what YOU want.
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Paul-san-
Enjoyed reading the above and can relate in many ways as most of the quitters here can.
If you truly want to quit, this is a great place to do it. There are so many tools and so much quit wisdom that if you decide to utilize this place for what it has to offer it can help you in quitting. It can't quit for you but it provides a lot of insight into quitting and there are examples everywhere on this site or it's success.
First in foremost, learn to post roll. That is your promise you will not use nicotine in any form for that day.
Do it every morning right after you take a piss. If you can be a man of your word for a day then you can quit.
Use this intro to document what you will go through during this quit and get ready because it's going to suck for the next few days. You are going to go through some major withdrawals but embrace it. Do not use any NRT stuff- that will just prolong it and it's proven to not be anywhere near as effective as quitting cold turkey.
YOU can do this if this is what YOU want.
FMBM, Thanks for the advice. I am all bought in. I have roll posted the past two days and will continue. At the end of day 3 for me and about to call it a day. Hopefully the worst of the nicotine withdrawals are behind me. We'll see. I am drinking tons of water and so far so good. I am also 100% cold turkey. Thanks again. I am staying QUIT.
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Paul-san-
Enjoyed reading the above and can relate in many ways as most of the quitters here can.
If you truly want to quit, this is a great place to do it. There are so many tools and so much quit wisdom that if you decide to utilize this place for what it has to offer it can help you in quitting. It can't quit for you but it provides a lot of insight into quitting and there are examples everywhere on this site or it's success.
First in foremost, learn to post roll. That is your promise you will not use nicotine in any form for that day.
Do it every morning right after you take a piss. If you can be a man of your word for a day then you can quit.
Use this intro to document what you will go through during this quit and get ready because it's going to suck for the next few days. You are going to go through some major withdrawals but embrace it. Do not use any NRT stuff- that will just prolong it and it's proven to not be anywhere near as effective as quitting cold turkey.
YOU can do this if this is what YOU want.
FMBM, Thanks for the advice. I am all bought in. I have roll posted the past two days and will continue. At the end of day 3 for me and about to call it a day. Hopefully the worst of the nicotine withdrawals are behind me. We'll see. I am drinking tons of water and so far so good. I am also 100% cold turkey. Thanks again. I am staying QUIT.
Welcome Paul, really great intro! Glad to have you in the August group. Reach out if you need anything.
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Paul-san-
Enjoyed reading the above and can relate in many ways as most of the quitters here can.
If you truly want to quit, this is a great place to do it. There are so many tools and so much quit wisdom that if you decide to utilize this place for what it has to offer it can help you in quitting. It can't quit for you but it provides a lot of insight into quitting and there are examples everywhere on this site or it's success.
First in foremost, learn to post roll. That is your promise you will not use nicotine in any form for that day.
Do it every morning right after you take a piss. If you can be a man of your word for a day then you can quit.
Use this intro to document what you will go through during this quit and get ready because it's going to suck for the next few days. You are going to go through some major withdrawals but embrace it. Do not use any NRT stuff- that will just prolong it and it's proven to not be anywhere near as effective as quitting cold turkey.
YOU can do this if this is what YOU want.
FMBM, Thanks for the advice. I am all bought in. I have roll posted the past two days and will continue. At the end of day 3 for me and about to call it a day. Hopefully the worst of the nicotine withdrawals are behind me. We'll see. I am drinking tons of water and so far so good. I am also 100% cold turkey. Thanks again. I am staying QUIT.
Welcome Paul, really great intro! Glad to have you in the August group. Reach out if you need anything.
Welcome and good intro.
Read up and hopefully you will change that love to hate and never go back!
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Paul-san-
Enjoyed reading the above and can relate in many ways as most of the quitters here can.
If you truly want to quit, this is a great place to do it. There are so many tools and so much quit wisdom that if you decide to utilize this place for what it has to offer it can help you in quitting. It can't quit for you but it provides a lot of insight into quitting and there are examples everywhere on this site or it's success.
First in foremost, learn to post roll. That is your promise you will not use nicotine in any form for that day.
Do it every morning right after you take a piss. If you can be a man of your word for a day then you can quit.
Use this intro to document what you will go through during this quit and get ready because it's going to suck for the next few days. You are going to go through some major withdrawals but embrace it. Do not use any NRT stuff- that will just prolong it and it's proven to not be anywhere near as effective as quitting cold turkey.
YOU can do this if this is what YOU want.
FMBM, Thanks for the advice. I am all bought in. I have roll posted the past two days and will continue. At the end of day 3 for me and about to call it a day. Hopefully the worst of the nicotine withdrawals are behind me. We'll see. I am drinking tons of water and so far so good. I am also 100% cold turkey. Thanks again. I am staying QUIT.
Welcome Paul, really great intro! Glad to have you in the August group. Reach out if you need anything.
Great intro. Very well written. Every word seems to have been chosen carefully. Almost like you have been wanting to say this for a long time OR you just finally had your bit of white light come in and it provided a bit of peace for you.
I am glad to you are drinking the kool aid. This being my 4th time around and first time using this place, it has been sooo much easier.
When we refer to The Suck it is the primary withdrawal time. Usually 30 days. However, it can be longer. Best thing to do is tons and tons of water, some fruit juice. Keep some Dark Chocolate on hand and some Aspirin. For me, my sweet tooth went absolutely crazy. Don't worry about it. You can lose that weight gain later. The daily promise to yourself and to us, water. The fake dip is different for each person. Some prefer it, some don't. I do. I don't use it all that often but it has saved my ass a few times. Some use seeds, gum, hard candy. Don't matter what it is. Just be clean.
This site is full of information. Dive into it. Exchange some digits.
Last. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. So glad you joined us.
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Great reflection. Lots of us had what we thought was a romance with dip. But ultimately when you are quit you learn that there is really nothing romantic about it. Habitual dipping is nothing more than being a slave to an addiction that is ordering you not putting a crushed weed in your mouth. It is vile and truly senseless. The Europeans get this, as you know doubt know you live in a country where pot is legal but dip is not.
Fighting off a crave is not hard. Get tough on yourself, drink some whatever, chew gum, etc and in a few minutes the crave passes. The true fight to quitting is fighting off crave after crave after crave. The way we do it here is break down our quits into one day increments. Get through today quit, and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Seems like semantics but it is a mind set that has helped me to power through some rough days. Good luck on your move back to the States and on your quit.
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Paul-san-
Enjoyed reading the above and can relate in many ways as most of the quitters here can.
If you truly want to quit, this is a great place to do it. There are so many tools and so much quit wisdom that if you decide to utilize this place for what it has to offer it can help you in quitting. It can't quit for you but it provides a lot of insight into quitting and there are examples everywhere on this site or it's success.
First in foremost, learn to post roll. That is your promise you will not use nicotine in any form for that day.
Do it every morning right after you take a piss. If you can be a man of your word for a day then you can quit.
Use this intro to document what you will go through during this quit and get ready because it's going to suck for the next few days. You are going to go through some major withdrawals but embrace it. Do not use any NRT stuff- that will just prolong it and it's proven to not be anywhere near as effective as quitting cold turkey.
YOU can do this if this is what YOU want.
FMBM, Thanks for the advice. I am all bought in. I have roll posted the past two days and will continue. At the end of day 3 for me and about to call it a day. Hopefully the worst of the nicotine withdrawals are behind me. We'll see. I am drinking tons of water and so far so good. I am also 100% cold turkey. Thanks again. I am staying QUIT.
Welcome Paul, really great intro! Glad to have you in the August group. Reach out if you need anything.
pky, thanks for the support. What a great team we have around here. Posting Roll daily and will continue. Likewise with reaching out. PM if there is anything I can do to help you with your quit!
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Great reflection. Lots of us had what we thought was a romance with dip. But ultimately when you are quit you learn that there is really nothing romantic about it. Habitual dipping is nothing more than being a slave to an addiction that is ordering you not putting a crushed weed in your mouth. It is vile and truly senseless. The Europeans get this, as you know doubt know you live in a country where pot is legal but dip is not.
Fighting off a crave is not hard. Get tough on yourself, drink some whatever, chew gum, etc and in a few minutes the crave passes. The true fight to quitting is fighting off crave after crave after crave. The way we do it here is break down our quits into one day increments. Get through today quit, and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Seems like semantics but it is a mind set that has helped me to power through some rough days. Good luck on your move back to the States and on your quit.
Dagranger, thanks for the words. Deep into day four here and my back teeth are floating from all the water I am drinking. Can feel the last remnants of the nic leaving my body. Such a wonderful feeling. All about the QUIT and One Day at a Time here!!
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Paul-san-
Enjoyed reading the above and can relate in many ways as most of the quitters here can.
If you truly want to quit, this is a great place to do it. There are so many tools and so much quit wisdom that if you decide to utilize this place for what it has to offer it can help you in quitting. It can't quit for you but it provides a lot of insight into quitting and there are examples everywhere on this site or it's success.
First in foremost, learn to post roll. That is your promise you will not use nicotine in any form for that day.
Do it every morning right after you take a piss. If you can be a man of your word for a day then you can quit.
Use this intro to document what you will go through during this quit and get ready because it's going to suck for the next few days. You are going to go through some major withdrawals but embrace it. Do not use any NRT stuff- that will just prolong it and it's proven to not be anywhere near as effective as quitting cold turkey.
YOU can do this if this is what YOU want.
FMBM, Thanks for the advice. I am all bought in. I have roll posted the past two days and will continue. At the end of day 3 for me and about to call it a day. Hopefully the worst of the nicotine withdrawals are behind me. We'll see. I am drinking tons of water and so far so good. I am also 100% cold turkey. Thanks again. I am staying QUIT.
Welcome Paul, really great intro! Glad to have you in the August group. Reach out if you need anything.
Great intro. Very well written. Every word seems to have been chosen carefully. Almost like you have been wanting to say this for a long time OR you just finally had your bit of white light come in and it provided a bit of peace for you.
I am glad to you are drinking the kool aid. This being my 4th time around and first time using this place, it has been sooo much easier.
When we refer to The Suck it is the primary withdrawal time. Usually 30 days. However, it can be longer. Best thing to do is tons and tons of water, some fruit juice. Keep some Dark Chocolate on hand and some Aspirin. For me, my sweet tooth went absolutely crazy. Don't worry about it. You can lose that weight gain later. The daily promise to yourself and to us, water. The fake dip is different for each person. Some prefer it, some don't. I do. I don't use it all that often but it has saved my ass a few times. Some use seeds, gum, hard candy. Don't matter what it is. Just be clean.
This site is full of information. Dive into it. Exchange some digits.
Last. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. So glad you joined us.
Kubiackalpha, Appreciate your thoughts for sure. I have had those words with me for years. Carried them around inside for so long. It is refreshing and exhilarating to finally let them free. Not just for existing family and friends but for all of us out here on KTC that are kicking the nic one day at a time. Oh, I am all into the koolaid, my teeth are purple... The tools employed here are amazing, the daily roll post, the brother/sisterhood, already exchanging digits and feel like I am part of one bad ass quitting team. Its a great feeling.
I can appreciate your attempts in the past without this mega machine of 'give a damn' and understand it just wouldn't be the same. I thank you again, for your words and look forward to kicking this nic bit(hes ass here now and in the future. As I mentioned earlier, I am all in!
Off to do some data diving!
Paul
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So, I have made it through the better part of my first week and my first Saturday without chewing and living nicotine free. What a ride. From the well documented pure hell that is the first three days as the nicotine works its way out of the body, to the fog in which we muddle through starts to lift it was survival mode for sure.
We talk about quitting one day at a time here and I am all in with that approach to the overall quit. For me though and during the first two days for sure, I was quitting for moments at a time. As I fought through the fog, some of those moments were literally just that, the old habits and associated craves lasting fleeting moments of time while other periods of time that comprised my immediate quit could last for hours. Much like our daily post roll, I applied the same rational to it though, read up here on otherÂ’s intros and experiences, reached out as necessary and ultimately stay quit until I needed to make that next declaration of being QUIT. It helped me to log into the Live Chat and reiterate my QUIT and support others with theirs. The August quit group is seriously bad ass and I am sooo looking forward to quitting with the team. The Groupme approach is an immediate connection to some serious kick ass support.
The fantastic support from y'all here to my reading past posts of other BAQÂ’s first week experience was true support for me. Thanks to all for that and so looking forward as we move this QUIT forward, one thought, moment, and certainly Â… one day at a time!
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Proud of you Paul. Its nice to see someone here old like me (well you are a bit older, but not by much). Loved your intro. Post back here often, let us know how things are going.
You got this bro. PM me if you would like to swap digits. I think your quit smells strong, but I dont have to telll you to be careful. .
Some of my toughest days were 100-150 or so. Magic of HOF wore off... and i was posting late. I recommitted and dove into introductions to help newbies.
You made it throug the tough part, now its all about willpower.
Quitting with you today, see you on roll tomorrow, JB
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Some Day 6 observations with my quit. Was into a follow up post with CowMus but wanted to capture it here on my quit intro/log as well.
My oral fixation isn't that bad, nothing that a quick fake with a licorice drop cant subdue. At least so far. No sores for me but I am experiencing some jaw and tooth pain. The pain is typically at night and it's more of a dull soreness with twinges of pain. Although this is primarily a night experience, there have been a couple of pain/soreness flashes during the day for me. I have read on other posts that this pain is associated with healing but I certainly don't understand what all is going on. Will do some research on it see what's up.
Stay Strong, ODAAT QUIT!
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I like that you are diving into this thing full-force Paul. You will come to learn that in doing so, you have set yourself up to succeed here. You will experience more emotions, reactions, and changes in the next few weeks than you thought possible. You may be all over the place mentally. Doesn't matter. You're quit. You're taking your life back and if you stick to that plan, you won't regret it. I could try to tell you how much better you will feel eventually, but it'll mean a lot more to you when you see it happen. Trust me, it will.
Don't bite off forever. Just today. All day, just for today. Then repeat tomorrow. If you try to bite off more than you can chew (pardon the pun), you will start to slip down the rabbit's hole again.
Congrats on that first week and keep pushing. You can do this.
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I like that you are diving into this thing full-force Paul. You will come to learn that in doing so, you have set yourself up to succeed here. You will experience more emotions, reactions, and changes in the next few weeks than you thought possible. You may be all over the place mentally. Doesn't matter. You're quit. You're taking your life back and if you stick to that plan, you won't regret it. I could try to tell you how much better you will feel eventually, but it'll mean a lot more to you when you see it happen. Trust me, it will.
Don't bite off forever. Just today. All day, just for today. Then repeat tomorrow. If you try to bite off more than you can chew (pardon the pun), you will start to slip down the rabbit's hole again.
Congrats on that first week and keep pushing. You can do this.
Paul as you have heard often already, ODAAT! Stay involved as much as possible! You can and will succeed, post roll early and EDD! Quit on!
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Proud of you Paul. Its nice to see someone here old like me (well you are a bit older, but not by much). Loved your intro. Post back here often, let us know how things are going.
You got this bro. PM me if you would like to swap digits. I think your quit smells strong, but I dont have to telll you to be careful. .
Some of my toughest days were 100-150 or so. Magic of HOF wore off... and i was posting late. I recommitted and dove into introductions to help newbies.
You made it throug the tough part, now its all about willpower.
Quitting with you today, see you on roll tomorrow, JB
JB, KingNothing and PAB, thanks for the support and appreciate your comments. I am soaking up what you vets have to give from your experience. I've got my head on a swivel trying to keep my eyes on the Nic Bitch. Agreed with the daily post being the integral piece to the success of my quit. Certainly quitting everyday here, posting early and with you! Proud to QUIT with you!
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So, wow, made it through the 10 day milestone. I am feeling like I am through most of the physical withdrawal and focusing more on what is going on in my head. I am down to just moments and short episodes of fog daily as opposed to being completely engulfed in the fog in the first three days. That was brutal for me. So, better there. Sleeping better than I have in years. I am starting to turn in earlier and earlier and sleeping for longer periods of time in a given stretch. Better there. The craves come and go and aren't always consistent with a know trigger. I still crave after eating but not every time after I eat. I suspect some of that is because I am getting out in front of the crave with staying busy or hitting a piece of candy to stave off the crave. Feeling like I am having pretty decent success with stomping the crave down. Sometimes is feels like playing whack a mole.
I have experienced periods of mild anxiety around not be able to chew. As with the momentary craves, the anxiety appears to be mild and usually passes pretty quickly. But, it's there and I am aware of it. I am less moody now than those first three days. Good for me and the girlfriend appreciates it too. With that, she has been amazing with support in knowing what hell this quit is.
Like so many others. I am certainly eating more that I was when I was chewing. For the past few years of my chewing it was nothing for me to have a chew in for up to 14 - 16 hrs a day with just momentary breaks from the chew during the day. I passed on and missed many meals due to the chew. Catching up a little now, or at least correcting some of my dietary habits. Actually eating a little something for breakfast each day now which is new to me. I've cut back on coffee big time too. I figure if I am going to correct some of these habits, may as well kill two birds with one stone.
Have spent a good bit of time here, continuing to read accounts of newbies and vets. Feel like I am pretty engaged and I sure enjoy meeting new folks here and offering support, exchanging digits, etc. All good stuff. I feel like I am building p a pretty decent set of tools for what will be new and unique challenges and tests to my quit as we move this thing forward.
I am so thankful I found this site and you group of quitters. Couldn't do it without ya. And with that, here we go with quitting one day at a time. Every damned day!
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Great update Paul! These early milestones are huge for us - 1 day, 1 week, 10 days, 2 weeks, etc. The most important is finishing today, but you should be proud of what you've accomplished so far.
From this point on, it's all about staying strong mentally. After 10 days the worst is over physically, but your mind will play tricks on you. It will try to convince you that since you've made it so far, you have control and can manage having one chew, or one every now and then. Check out Zoe's Dad's roll post from this morning - I know I've definitely had those thoughts.
The other thing that can catch you is fatigue. "It's been X weeks why am I still feeling like this?" I've got that going on at day 25. So stay vigilant.
But you're doing great, keep showing up and taking full advatanve of this place. Sometimes there's nothing better to fend off a crave than a massive KTC brain dump.
Glad to have you with us in August!
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Yesterday was a day of test for me. I had a colleague visiting Holland and we met in Amsterdam to catch up and spend some time together. For those that haven't been, Amsterdam is everything you have heard about and more. It's wild, relaxed, and free and the people there are proud it's the way it is. A'dam's tolerance for free will is legendary and I am here to attest its alive and well. I met my buddy at a bar that I have grown fond of and visit just about every time I am in the city. Fate was in full play yesterday as I wasn't seated at the bar for more than twenty minutes when three gents from Norway sit down next to us. Guess what, they chew tobacco and proudly displayed their cans on the table that we shared. I've been here for just about a year and haven't seen anyone else chewing here. Unreal that three guys from Norway sniff me out on my first trip into the city and sit right beside me. Being kind folks, they of course offer some tobacco. Here, for me, is the really cool part. Although I was tripping out some with the situation and actually holding the can in my hand, it was such a cool feeling telling them how I had recently quit and was staying quit. I am absolutely resolute in my quit. I am comfortable in my quit. It is real and it is true.
I'll certainly take some of the credit for my actions but I have to say that KTC and all of you good people that I have met, chatted with, debated with, shared digits with, are the biggest reason I am where I am in my quit today. As I was sitting there talking to the Norwegians, you guys where right there in the front of my mind and really with me as I turned the bitch away. So, a thank you to the collective here as what we do here works for me, big time. I wasn't alone, I knew I had a phone full of numbers in my pocket that I could use at any minute, if needed.
So, another testament to logging in early and every day, posting roll, engaging in your quit and others quit and being better prepared to turn nicotine away with the strength of this team right beside ya.
So proud to be quit with all of you. One sweet day at a time.
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Yesterday was a day of test for me. I had a colleague visiting Holland and we met in Amsterdam to catch up and spend some time together. For those that haven't been, Amsterdam is everything you have heard about and more. It's wild, relaxed, and free and the people there are proud it's the way it is. A'dam's tolerance for free will is legendary and I am here to attest its alive and well. I met my buddy at a bar that I have grown fond of and visit just about every time I am in the city. Fate was in full play yesterday as I wasn't seated at the bar for more than twenty minutes when three gents from Norway sit down next to us. Guess what, they chew tobacco and proudly displayed their cans on the table that we shared. I've been here for just about a year and haven't seen anyone else chewing here. Unreal that three guys from Norway sniff me out on my first trip into the city and sit right beside me. Being kind folks, they of course offer some tobacco. Here, for me, is the really cool part. Although I was tripping out some with the situation and actually holding the can in my hand, it was such a cool feeling telling them how I had recently quit and was staying quit. I am absolutely resolute in my quit. I am comfortable in my quit. It is real and it is true.
I'll certainly take some of the credit for my actions but I have to say that KTC and all of you good people that I have met, chatted with, debated with, shared digits with, are the biggest reason I am where I am in my quit today. As I was sitting there talking to the Norwegians, you guys where right there in the front of my mind and really with me as I turned the bitch away. So, a thank you to the collective here as what we do here works for me, big time. I wasn't alone, I knew I had a phone full of numbers in my pocket that I could use at any minute, if needed.
So, another testament to logging in early and every day, posting roll, engaging in your quit and others quit and being better prepared to turn nicotine away with the strength of this team right beside ya.
So proud to be quit with all of you. One sweet day at a time.
Wow! That's a heck of a trigger! Bad ass way to stay quit. Have a great Memorial Day weekend!
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Yesterday was a day of test for me. I had a colleague visiting Holland and we met in Amsterdam to catch up and spend some time together. For those that haven't been, Amsterdam is everything you have heard about and more. It's wild, relaxed, and free and the people there are proud it's the way it is. A'dam's tolerance for free will is legendary and I am here to attest its alive and well. I met my buddy at a bar that I have grown fond of and visit just about every time I am in the city. Fate was in full play yesterday as I wasn't seated at the bar for more than twenty minutes when three gents from Norway sit down next to us. Guess what, they chew tobacco and proudly displayed their cans on the table that we shared. I've been here for just about a year and haven't seen anyone else chewing here. Unreal that three guys from Norway sniff me out on my first trip into the city and sit right beside me. Being kind folks, they of course offer some tobacco. Here, for me, is the really cool part. Although I was tripping out some with the situation and actually holding the can in my hand, it was such a cool feeling telling them how I had recently quit and was staying quit. I am absolutely resolute in my quit. I am comfortable in my quit. It is real and it is true.
I'll certainly take some of the credit for my actions but I have to say that KTC and all of you good people that I have met, chatted with, debated with, shared digits with, are the biggest reason I am where I am in my quit today. As I was sitting there talking to the Norwegians, you guys where right there in the front of my mind and really with me as I turned the bitch away. So, a thank you to the collective here as what we do here works for me, big time. I wasn't alone, I knew I had a phone full of numbers in my pocket that I could use at any minute, if needed.
So, another testament to logging in early and every day, posting roll, engaging in your quit and others quit and being better prepared to turn nicotine away with the strength of this team right beside ya.
So proud to be quit with all of you. One sweet day at a time.
Wow! That's a heck of a trigger! Bad ass way to stay quit. Have a great Memorial Day weekend!
Thanks Nomo! Many feel that you shouldn't face these triggers so early in a quit. I didn't go out yesterday in an effort to solely put myself in a position to be tempted. I was living my life. With that, I had prepared myself mentally by role-playing in my head how I would turn down offers of nicotine, cigs, stogies, chew, etc. Once in that vulnerable position, I immediately kicked into auto-pilot with the refusal to use and claim of being quit and nicotine free. This is a tool in my toolbox that I'll carry with me through my quit.
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Yesterday was a day of test for me. I had a colleague visiting Holland and we met in Amsterdam to catch up and spend some time together. For those that haven't been, Amsterdam is everything you have heard about and more. It's wild, relaxed, and free and the people there are proud it's the way it is. A'dam's tolerance for free will is legendary and I am here to attest its alive and well. I met my buddy at a bar that I have grown fond of and visit just about every time I am in the city. Fate was in full play yesterday as I wasn't seated at the bar for more than twenty minutes when three gents from Norway sit down next to us. Guess what, they chew tobacco and proudly displayed their cans on the table that we shared. I've been here for just about a year and haven't seen anyone else chewing here. Unreal that three guys from Norway sniff me out on my first trip into the city and sit right beside me. Being kind folks, they of course offer some tobacco. Here, for me, is the really cool part. Although I was tripping out some with the situation and actually holding the can in my hand, it was such a cool feeling telling them how I had recently quit and was staying quit. I am absolutely resolute in my quit. I am comfortable in my quit. It is real and it is true.
I'll certainly take some of the credit for my actions but I have to say that KTC and all of you good people that I have met, chatted with, debated with, shared digits with, are the biggest reason I am where I am in my quit today. As I was sitting there talking to the Norwegians, you guys where right there in the front of my mind and really with me as I turned the bitch away. So, a thank you to the collective here as what we do here works for me, big time. I wasn't alone, I knew I had a phone full of numbers in my pocket that I could use at any minute, if needed.
So, another testament to logging in early and every day, posting roll, engaging in your quit and others quit and being better prepared to turn nicotine away with the strength of this team right beside ya.
So proud to be quit with all of you. One sweet day at a time.
Wow! That's a heck of a trigger! Bad ass way to stay quit. Have a great Memorial Day weekend!
Thanks Nomo! Many feel that you shouldn't face these triggers so early in a quit. I didn't go out yesterday in an effort to solely put myself in a position to be tempted. I was living my life. With that, I had prepared myself mentally by role-playing in my head how I would turn down offers of nicotine, cigs, stogies, chew, etc. Once in that vulnerable position, I immediately kicked into auto-pilot with the refusal to use and claim of being quit and nicotine free. This is a tool in my toolbox that I'll carry with me through my quit.
Powerful this brotherhood!
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Three full weeks into the rest of my life. Without chewing and it feels great. So, well past the physical withdrawal for the most part. The bulk of that was done in the first week. I say bulk as I do have an occasional moment of fog. These foggy moments are further between one another and don't usually last for long, seems like five to ten minutes at a time is all they last now. Past the first three days I was actually sleeping pretty good but this past week I've had a few rough nights with crashing pretty early but only sleeping for a few hours at a time. I cliff hard into a pretty deep sleep but will come out of that to awake within two to three hours. From that point on its difficult to sleep through the rest of the night. Seems I am then drifting off for another hour or two at a time. Something I'll keep an eye on and report back.
The jaw, cheek, and tongue soreness I had experienced for the first two weeks seems to have subsided completely. It's been four days or so since I have had any discomfort with my mouth, jaw, cheek, etc. A good news story and something else I'll watch closely.
That's the physical, the mental fight has kicked up another notch. I've found myself discover additional triggers this week as the weather turns warmer here in Holland. Cargo shorts, checking that side pocket for my can every time I turn around. Being around boats and the water. I guess just generally being outside more, walking, cycling. Working on creating new habits and associations that don't include chew. I've had a few craves this past week that were probably the most intense that I've had since I quit. The instance I feel the crave start, I usually jump on here and read up on introductions or the latest going on in a group. So far so good with that working to redirect my attention away from the crave. That, and a lot of licorice.
I have to say that I have also experienced a few episodes of anxiety here in the past week. Pretty sure one episode was triggered by not having a can around. This is definitely a strong residual play on needing that old safety blanket around as it was that way for thirty years. I used to get a little uncomfortable if I was getting a little too low. This anxiety doesn't last long but it is an odd feeling that has to be worked through usually by thinking through the moment and/or getting busy with something else. Working on rewiring the brain on this one.
Regarding the anxiety and my quit in general, it helps me to be engaged here. Spending more time on Live Chat and using Groupme as well. Great place to meet vet and new quitters and engage in real time chat. I have gotten help there and been able to help some newbies out as well. I've offered my digits out, and have a bunch of digits in my phone from fellow quit team members and also a few vets. I continue to pour through introductions and am picking out little gems that'll work for me to help with my quit.
The support of my fellow Aug quitters is amazing along with the experience and support that the vets bring to the table. So happy to be here and three weeks into a pretty strong quit.
As we say, more to follow! See you at roll, one day at a time!
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Three full weeks into the rest of my life. Without chewing and it feels great. So, well past the physical withdrawal for the most part. The bulk of that was done in the first week. I say bulk as I do have an occasional moment of fog. These foggy moments are further between one another and don't usually last for long, seems like five to ten minutes at a time is all they last now. Past the first three days I was actually sleeping pretty good but this past week I've had a few rough nights with crashing pretty early but only sleeping for a few hours at a time. I cliff hard into a pretty deep sleep but will come out of that to awake within two to three hours. From that point on its difficult to sleep through the rest of the night. Seems I am then drifting off for another hour or two at a time. Something I'll keep an eye on and report back.
The jaw, cheek, and tongue soreness I had experienced for the first two weeks seems to have subsided completely. It's been four days or so since I have had any discomfort with my mouth, jaw, cheek, etc. A good news story and something else I'll watch closely.
That's the physical, the mental fight has kicked up another notch. I've found myself discover additional triggers this week as the weather turns warmer here in Holland. Cargo shorts, checking that side pocket for my can every time I turn around. Being around boats and the water. I guess just generally being outside more, walking, cycling. Working on creating new habits and associations that don't include chew. I've had a few craves this past week that were probably the most intense that I've had since I quit. The instance I feel the crave start, I usually jump on here and read up on introductions or the latest going on in a group. So far so good with that working to redirect my attention away from the crave. That, and a lot of licorice.
I have to say that I have also experienced a few episodes of anxiety here in the past week. Pretty sure one episode was triggered by not having a can around. This is definitely a strong residual play on needing that old safety blanket around as it was that way for thirty years. I used to get a little uncomfortable if I was getting a little too low. This anxiety doesn't last long but it is an odd feeling that has to be worked through usually by thinking through the moment and/or getting busy with something else. Working on rewiring the brain on this one.
Regarding the anxiety and my quit in general, it helps me to be engaged here. Spending more time on Live Chat and using Groupme as well. Great place to meet vet and new quitters and engage in real time chat. I have gotten help there and been able to help some newbies out as well. I've offered my digits out, and have a bunch of digits in my phone from fellow quit team members and also a few vets. I continue to pour through introductions and am picking out little gems that'll work for me to help with my quit.
The support of my fellow Aug quitters is amazing along with the experience and support that the vets bring to the table. So happy to be here and three weeks into a pretty strong quit.
As we say, more to follow! See you at roll, one day at a time!
Paul-San,
Man, it is great to read that. I am just a few days behind you and I was nodding my head the whole time reading your post. Yes yes yes!! My mouth just stopped hurting a couple of days ago. I still slap my cargo shorts (right pocket) looking for that little round whore. Keep up the great work. You were the first person to reach out to me when I did an intro and I won't forget that. odaat.
I quit with you
FF
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Blasted through the month quit milestone last week. Its hard to believe that I have been quit for over a month. Wow, such a cool feeling. This week was another series of tests for me as we were on a road trip across Europe doing some sightseeing. There were many very subtle triggers that I faced, successfully. Such as those moments when you are gearing up for the next long section of driving, or when your starting to get a bit drowsy, or when driving conditions get a bit challenging with weather, traffic, etc. When I felt the nicotine ping, I thought back to my promise with posting roll and easily put the crave back into its place. Thank you all here for that!
It was very important for me to post roll while on this trip. I successfully posted roll EDD from the back woods of the Czech Rep, Slovakia, Austria, Switzerland, and France. As I mentioned above, it was good that I had posted roll as I was tested everyday with craves and had that promise to help fight off the crave.
The moments of anxiety that I mentioned on my last update continue to some degree. I was anxious a few times while driving last week. I noticed it the most while driving through long tunnels and was feeling claustrophobic. Noticed it with heights as well a couple of times. Something else I'll keep an eye on.
As I reflect, I feel good that I now have another set of quit tools as I have faced another set of triggers and haven't used tobacco. Quit is getting stronger all the time.
Thanks to all in my Aug quit group and a big thanks to the vets that are supporting my quit. This place rocks thanks to all of you!!
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Blasted through the month quit milestone last week. Its hard to believe that I have been quit for over a month. Wow, such a cool feeling. This week was another series of tests for me as we were on a road trip across Europe doing some sightseeing. There were many very subtle triggers that I faced, successfully. Such as those moments when you are gearing up for the next long section of driving, or when your starting to get a bit drowsy, or when driving conditions get a bit challenging with weather, traffic, etc. When I felt the nicotine ping, I thought back to my promise with posting roll and easily put the crave back into its place. Thank you all here for that!
It was very important for me to post roll while on this trip. I successfully posted roll EDD from the back woods of the Czech Rep, Slovakia, Austria, Switzerland, and France. As I mentioned above, it was good that I had posted roll as I was tested everyday with craves and had that promise to help fight off the crave.
The moments of anxiety that I mentioned on my last update continue to some degree. I was anxious a few times while driving last week. I noticed it the most while driving through long tunnels and was feeling claustrophobic. Noticed it with heights as well a couple of times. Something else I'll keep an eye on.
As I reflect, I feel good that I now have another set of quit tools as I have faced another set of triggers and haven't used tobacco. Quit is getting stronger all the time.
Thanks to all in my Aug quit group and a big thanks to the vets that are supporting my quit. This place rocks thanks to all of you!!
Nice work Paul! Glad you were able to post roll without having to send a $300 text from Europe to the states!
Sounds like a great trip, and you're doing what you need to stay on top of your craves/ triggers. Keep it up man, love having you in August!
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So, Day 49. Wow. Nothing that others haven't stated before but who'd thought I could ever survive this long without chewing. My want to quit for myself is strong and the brother/sisterhood I so enjoy here is a big reason that I have been successful thus far into my quit. Engaged daily within my group with the Spreadsheet of Accountability, engaged in topics/chat/groupme, and have shared digits with Aug quits bro's and vets. Staying strong.
With all that, the daily experience of craving is still there but so lessened to nothing much more than just a fleeting thought of going through the motions of taking a chew. The moments are real but pass very quickly. Occasionally I'll find myself moving my tongue around my mouth like I'm a packing in a chew. It's a subconscious thing of a thirty plus year chewer, but a trip nonetheless.
I have experienced dip dreams a couple of times in the past fifty days or so I thought. The couple of times that I had dreams they were quick and short and about me packing a can and taking a quick dip and that was pretty much it. I'd wake up thankful that it was just a dream and get on with posting roll. That was until this morning right before I awoke. This was a dream that seemed to last a while and was surely more involved. I was at work where chewing was not allowed. The dream detailed the actions of me actually sneaking the chew into the workplace. The dream progressed into me sneaking into and hiding in a bathroom stall to take a dip and while I was in the process a guy walks in, opens the door and busts me taking the dip. Odd that the snuff was a white color like it was some sort of poison or something. Strange. So, I packed the dip in while the guy saw me and motioned that he was making a mental note to write down this infraction and report it. In the closing scene of the dream, I immediate went to the sink in the bathroom and rinsed the chew I had just taken out and watched it go down the drain.
Then I awoke. Again thankful that I hadn't chewed and lied to myself and my quit brothers here in KTC. But wow, so real, so detailed, and frightening. As freaky as the dream was, its another experience that strengthens my will to be quit. Hope it helps others here too.
Thankful to have the ability to capture these experiences into a record like this to fend off ever using nicotine again.
Proud to be quit with all here at KTC.
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So, Day 49. Wow. Nothing that others haven't stated before but who'd thought I could ever survive this long without chewing. My want to quit for myself is strong and the brother/sisterhood I so enjoy here is a big reason that I have been successful thus far into my quit. Engaged daily within my group with the Spreadsheet of Accountability, engaged in topics/chat/groupme, and have shared digits with Aug quits bro's and vets. Staying strong.
With all that, the daily experience of craving is still there but so lessened to nothing much more than just a fleeting thought of going through the motions of taking a chew. The moments are real but pass very quickly. Occasionally I'll find myself moving my tongue around my mouth like I'm a packing in a chew. It's a subconscious thing of a thirty plus year chewer, but a trip nonetheless.
I have experienced dip dreams a couple of times in the past fifty days or so I thought. The couple of times that I had dreams they were quick and short and about me packing a can and taking a quick dip and that was pretty much it. I'd wake up thankful that it was just a dream and get on with posting roll. That was until this morning right before I awoke. This was a dream that seemed to last a while and was surely more involved. I was at work where chewing was not allowed. The dream detailed the actions of me actually sneaking the chew into the workplace. The dream progressed into me sneaking into and hiding in a bathroom stall to take a dip and while I was in the process a guy walks in, opens the door and busts me taking the dip. Odd that the snuff was a white color like it was some sort of poison or something. Strange. So, I packed the dip in while the guy saw me and motioned that he was making a mental note to write down this infraction and report it. In the closing scene of the dream, I immediate went to the sink in the bathroom and rinsed the chew I had just taken out and watched it go down the drain.
Then I awoke. Again thankful that I hadn't chewed and lied to myself and my quit brothers here in KTC. But wow, so real, so detailed, and frightening. As freaky as the dream was, its another experience that strengthens my will to be quit. Hope it helps others here too.
Thankful to have the ability to capture these experiences into a record like this to fend off ever using nicotine again.
Proud to be quit with all here at KTC.
Those dreams are messed up. I went weeks without one and then in the last week I've had 3. Last night in a dream I bought 2 cans, tossed in a dip and immediately spit it out and threw away the cans. I panicked and was thinking "this can't count as a cave, I spit it immediately!" But then I actually started to feel the suck restarting.
We get to a point where we think we're in the clear, but stuff like that is there as a reminder.
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Hey Paul, congrats on your HOF! Thank you for being such an inspirational leader in the August group.
You hit the ground running and have been a stud the whole way through. You've helped me personally and many others. Keep it up and I look forward to fighting on through to 200 and beyond!
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Hey Paul, congrats on your HOF! Thank you for being such an inspirational leader in the August group.
You hit the ground running and have been a stud the whole way through. You've helped me personally and many others. Keep it up and I look forward to fighting on through to 200 and beyond!
Paul-san, my live chat bro,
Congrats on your HOF day.
Love this day for quitters, it was my favorite milestone.
Not 100 and done, its never done, it just gets better!
Hang on tight and enjoy the ride while you bring others along with you. Proud to quit with you today.
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Hey Paul, congrats on your HOF! Thank you for being such an inspirational leader in the August group.
You hit the ground running and have been a stud the whole way through. You've helped me personally and many others. Keep it up and I look forward to fighting on through to 200 and beyond!
Paul-san, my live chat bro,
Congrats on your HOF day.
Love this day for quitters, it was my favorite milestone.
Not 100 and done, its never done, it just gets better!
Hang on tight and enjoy the ride while you bring others along with you. Proud to quit with you today.
Congrats on the HOF, brother! Keep on layin it down.
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Hey Paul, congrats on your HOF! Thank you for being such an inspirational leader in the August group.
You hit the ground running and have been a stud the whole way through. You've helped me personally and many others. Keep it up and I look forward to fighting on through to 200 and beyond!
Paul-san, my live chat bro,
Congrats on your HOF day.
Love this day for quitters, it was my favorite milestone.
Not 100 and done, its never done, it just gets better!
Hang on tight and enjoy the ride while you bring others along with you. Proud to quit with you today.
Congrats on the HOF, brother! Keep on layin it down.
congrats on the Hall! stick around, it keeps getting better.