KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Danno30 on October 22, 2014, 01:51:00 AM
-
I can't believe that has been a part of my life for nearly 30 years. Im 47. Dipping has been a part of my life for more than half the time I've been alive. I can't believe this is me even typing this. I guess I've fooled myself pretty well. It was the summer of my senior year. A friend offered me a dip because of the buzz. The rest is history. I fooled myself in many ways, but mostly by not dipping continuously. I'd quit months at a time. To this day I still don't dip frequently. I'd dip about 3 times a day for 2 or 3 days then not dip for 2 - 10 days. I think the infrequency was all a part of fooling myself into thinking I'm a "casual user" - as if it hurts any less to the children of a casual user.
I've also fooled others. My kids have no idea I dip. My wife knows, but she never sees it. Only when I ask for her help quitting is she reminded. My friends - very few know. My brothers and sisters, Mom - no idea. I would be outright embarrassed to do it in public. There are people you might stereo-typically expect to be "chewers." I don't see myself as one of them, but I am. What a hypocrite my kids would think of me if I were to ever burden them with cancer. Especially the embarrassment of disfiguring mouth cancer. I wouldn't expect them to feel sorry for me - I would only expect them to be embarrassed by my foolishness and hypocritical example.
I travel a lot. Dipping is pretty much just hotel rooms and when the family is not home. Again, the infrequency, the hiding, it's all apart of the game.
I've been a pussy about this. I hate the pictures. It's been years since I looked at one. Why? Becasuse they scare this shit out of me, yet they don't cause me to stop. And that makes me feel like freaking foolish failure.
Something prompted me to read Curt Schillings story. I then read Tony Gwynn's Story. And eventually those stories led to this site. I've "quit" many times before, but being as embarrassed as I am, I never had the support as no one ever knew. This is what I need. This too, is where I can help others.
I don't think "quitting" is my challenge, not fooling myself will be the obstacle.
Thank you all in advance.
I can tell there are great people here. I'm ready to quit and to help others do the same.
-
Please read up at the Welcome Center, and learn top post roll. You will then get all of the support you can handle.
-
Warning: don't fool yourself into thinking that you are not addicted.
The sooner you admit that you are addicted the sooner you can get on with recovery. This is a nasty poison that has controlled for you 3 decades. Join us in the fight. Failure is not an option. Post roll daily. Read this entire website. Reach out to other quitters and get phone numbers. Call and text. Make some friends. Make yourself accountable. Read the welcome center. Read the HOF speeches. Read the Words of Wisdom section. Read your roll call page. Read read read!
I quit with you today. Please let me know if you have any questions about how this program works.
-
Danno, do you want to live truly happy? Do you want to live not worrying about the next time you can get away to put that disgusting shit into your lip? Do you want to crush this addiction that CONTROLS EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of your life? If you honestly have answered yes to all these questions, then you're in the right place. This place, this life of KTC can HELP you get a handle of this despicable addiction. You have to reach down, and as we say here, find your sack and believe that you can do this. You have to wake up every morning and tell yourself that you despise nicotine with every ounce of fiber in your body and you HAVE to believe it. Book 'em Danno! (I just had to say that)
If you need someone to bs with, PM me. Grady
-
Thank you Thank you. I all ready feel the support. I will post today when I get back on my computer.
-
I did a lot of the hiding I talk about. I too was ashamed. I've chewed more regularly than u for over 23 years but my mom still has no idea. My wife and oldest son know, but not my other kids. So I completely understand what you're going thru. But as was said above, u need to realize u are addicted and it's great you've reached out for support. We all need it!
-
Thank you Thank you. I all ready feel the support. I will post today when I get back on my computer.
Danno - Post every day. I think I read about 3 hours a day on KTC my first 10 days. You can do this!
-
Thank you Thank you. I all ready feel the support. I will post today when I get back on my computer.
Danno - Post every day. I think I read about 3 hours a day on KTC my first 10 days. You can do this!
every damn day. It works if you work it.
-
get it buddy, im 6 days in, its a struggle but those gums done bleed anymore!!!
-
Nice job posting roll. I too ninja dipped, and in all honesty I don't think there is a worse kind of user, because not only are you giving in to an addiction that is telling you to put a weed in your mouth, you are deceiving those you love, and you are taking time away from them to feed your habit. Quitting is hard work, but the rewards for the ninja dipper are awesome. No more hiding, no more lying, no more deceiving. You can live an honest life again. Put everything you have into this quit Danno
-
Danno, you made a great decision and now that you are committed to quit and have reached out to KTC for support, your chances of success have shot up dramatically. Like the others have said, you must acknowledge that you are a nicotine addict. That will never go away. But with hard work and the mindset that every day is a new day, you can fight and win the battle. Posting roll and being accountable to your fellow KTC quitters will give you strength.
Remember that you are not alone - I was a ninja dipper for many years just like you and deceived myself and my family for far too long. I am happy for you that you found KTC and I am happy to be quit with you. PM me if you would like digits (text numbers).
Chris
-
Wow it is nice to see another addict grasp and claw for their freedom. If I could tell you one thing, it gets better, it's worth it, stay the course.....ok that is three things that ad up to one, FREEDOM!!
I quit with you!
-
Bump so what is really important doesn't get lost.
-
Bump so what is really important doesn't get lost.
Hey I'm 44 and a nicotine addict for 22 years. I quit 954 days ago. This site seems so simple but don't change it to you. Change your thinking to the site plan...it works.
Humble quitters win. addicts that want to adjust the quit plan to them...fail.
If you want to beat your nicotine craving. Surrender to the vets and ask for help. They will guide you.
Have you posted roll and can you keep a promise for 24 hours?
-
Bump so what is really important doesn't get lost.
Hey I'm 44 and a nicotine addict for 22 years. I quit 954 days ago. This site seems so simple but don't change it to you. Change your thinking to the site plan...it works.
Humble quitters win. addicts that want to adjust the quit plan to them...fail.
If you want to beat your nicotine craving. Surrender to the vets and ask for help. They will guide you.
Have you posted roll and can you keep a promise for 24 hours?
MThomas. Yep. I've posted twice. today and yesterday. And yes I can, and will, keep the promise. I won't be posting til late tomorrow, though. I'll be in the air - literally - all damn day.
-
Im going to use this thread as my daily journal. This will be a great way for my wife to stay on board and see what's up with my complicated - and many times distant (literally) - mind. I may not post here everyday, but I will post roll call at a minimum.
There are certain things about my job that just suck - boredom. It is the #1 tool the nic bitch uses to make me cave. I'm a pilot for a global airline. The flying part is boring, but doable. I've never dipped on the airplane and never had the desire to. But when on layovers, away from the family, trying to function on the backside of the clock and being in situations I cannot control (hotel and eating choices) - dipping helped me get through those times. It was something I looked forward to when I knew I'd be in situations I could not control.
I've never been one to dip continuously. My normal cycle is: dip 2 or 3 times a day for 2 or 3 days. Get sick of it (or scared) then not dip for 2 to 10 days. The frequency and durations I've gone without dipping have made me believe (foolishly) I'm not addicted. Part of me being here is dealing with that deception. I am addicted - no more arguing - no more fooling myself.
Im on day 2. Day 2 to me is nothing. Day 2 of not dipping is a regular thing. I think it will be easy to go for the next 10, 20 or 30 days with no desire to dip. But complacency is the #2 tool the nic bitch uses to make me cave. My normal routine is to let my guard down after 10 days (or so). The nic bitch says "see, you can quit anytime you want, you are healthy, no damage, no reason not to take one more dip." And fuck her, I cave again.
So, again, here I am day 2. No problem. I'm in London and this place SUCKS. Mostly cause the time difference and the lack of sleep that builds up over a 6 day back and forth trip. This hotel also sucks - not to mention it is actually one of the nicer ones in London. Small cramped European hotel rooms. Anyway I'm dealing with it pretty good today. I got a good workout in, ate a low carb dinner and here I am. Wide awake at 1:03 am for a 820 get up.
Tomorrow - Houston. Here's where I could face first cave temptation. Last week we went out for Mexican food. Mex food and margaritas makes me cave about 80% of the time. And yes, i did last week too (before joining KTC I will add). I know its coming tomorrow so I'm prepared. If I don't skip the mex food I will have to skip the margs - no question. It's a trigger. So Jake M, ERussell, you've got my num. Text me about 630 CT tomorrow and say "dont order the margaritas" - cool thx.
Saturday won't be a problem. I'll lift at the Y in the morning and head back to the London shit hole later in the day. The only good thing about London is they don't sell the shit here.
I will post roll call tomorrow, but I won't be til later in the day.
All right. Thx all. Keep up the quit and I'll do the same.
Danno
-
Im going to use this thread as my daily journal. This will be a great way for my wife to stay on board and see what's up with my complicated - and many times distant (literally) - mind. I may not post here everyday, but I will post roll call at a minimum.
There are certain things about my job that just suck - boredom. It is the #1 tool the nic bitch uses to make me cave. I'm a pilot for a global airline. The flying part is boring, but doable. I've never dipped on the airplane and never had the desire to. But when on layovers, away from the family, trying to function on the backside of the clock and being in situations I cannot control (hotel and eating choices) - dipping helped me get through those times. It was something I looked forward to when I knew I'd be in situations I could not control.
I've never been one to dip continuously. My normal cycle is: dip 2 or 3 times a day for 2 or 3 days. Get sick of it (or scared) then not dip for 2 to 10 days. The frequency and durations I've gone without dipping have made me believe (foolishly) I'm not addicted. Part of me being here is dealing with that deception. I am addicted - no more arguing - no more fooling myself.
Im on day 2. Day 2 to me is nothing. Day 2 of not dipping is a regular thing. I think it will be easy to go for the next 10, 20 or 30 days with no desire to dip. But complacency is the #2 tool the nic bitch uses to make me cave. My normal routine is to let my guard down after 10 days (or so). The nic bitch says "see, you can quit anytime you want, you are healthy, no damage, no reason not to take one more dip." And fuck her, I cave again.
So, again, here I am day 2. No problem. I'm in London and this place SUCKS. Mostly cause the time difference and the lack of sleep that builds up over a 6 day back and forth trip. This hotel also sucks - not to mention it is actually one of the nicer ones in London. Small cramped European hotel rooms. Anyway I'm dealing with it pretty good today. I got a good workout in, ate a low carb dinner and here I am. Wide awake at 1:03 am for a 820 get up.
Tomorrow - Houston. Here's where I could face first cave temptation. Last week we went out for Mexican food. Mex food and margaritas makes me cave about 80% of the time. And yes, i did last week too (before joining KTC I will add). I know its coming tomorrow so I'm prepared. If I don't skip the mex food I will have to skip the margs - no question. It's a trigger. So Jake M, ERussell, you've got my num. Text me about 630 CT tomorrow and say "dont order the margaritas" - cool thx.
Saturday won't be a problem. I'll lift at the Y in the morning and head back to the London shit hole later in the day. The only good thing about London is they don't sell the shit here.
I will post roll call tomorrow, but I won't be til later in the day.
All right. Thx all. Keep up the quit and I'll do the same.
Danno
Ok Danno, interesting life you have, can't wait to learn more about it. Glad to see you realize your addiction through the frequency. And guess what, a little nicotine is just as dangerousness as a lot. It could take a million of the nic molecules or just one, it's roulette. You have my number as well. Glad to have you in my quit circle, but it's not without a cost!! There will be a two way street of accountability and you and I will honor our word to one another no matter, you read my intro, no caving allowed brother!
Erussell 542 thanks to this system and the brotherhood that makes KTC. Quit with you Danno you have my word.
-
I'm not a pilot, but short of that... your intro could be mine as well. I chewed for 25 years. I hid. Family - no clue. Traveled a ton, chewed in some of the best hotels in the US. Hate London - that place is a shithole. And Erussell sends me x-rated text messages too. See, we could be brothers!
If I can help, let me know. You can do this bud. My contact info is in your inbox.
worktowin - day 669
-
You're not on roll today. WTF?
Post roll every day. No days off. Post early, when you first get up. No other way to do it.
-
You're not on roll today. WTF?
Post roll every day. No days off. Post early, when you first get up. No other way to do it.
Thx for checking up on me. Whats the earliest I can post? I got up in London, UK this morning around 230CT and just landed in the US. Posted as soon as I got to the hotel room. All's good on day 3!!
-
You're not on roll today. WTF?
Post roll every day. No days off. Post early, when you first get up. No other way to do it.
Thx for checking up on me. Whats the earliest I can post? I got up in London, UK this morning around 230CT and just landed in the US. Posted as soon as I got to the hotel room. All's good on day 3!!
The roll pages usually flip around 12AM New York Time. You can flip it yourself too. I recommend posting at your first waking moment after 12am eastern us time. Whether you're still up or just waking up. Get your name on roll call the earlier the better. You want everyone to see your name at the top of the list. Make sure you're not bumped. Go back in and double check that someone didn't fuck up roll and bump you or others. He'll, start fixing bumps. Every group needs trackers/bump fixers. Help keep roll tidy. There's a lot of foggy/computer illiterate people here. Helping keep roll clean and tidy and fixing bumps can only strengthen your quit in my view.
-
You're not on roll today. WTF?
Post roll every day. No days off. Post early, when you first get up. No other way to do it.
Thx for checking up on me. Whats the earliest I can post? I got up in London, UK this morning around 230CT and just landed in the US. Posted as soon as I got to the hotel room. All's good on day 3!!
The roll pages usually flip around 12AM New York Time. You can flip it yourself too. I recommend posting at your first waking moment after 12am eastern us time. Whether you're still up or just waking up. Get your name on roll call the earlier the better. You want everyone to see your name at the top of the list. Make sure you're not bumped. Go back in and double check that someone didn't fuck up roll and bump you or others. He'll, start fixing bumps. Every group needs trackers/bump fixers. Help keep roll tidy. There's a lot of foggy/computer illiterate people here. Helping keep roll clean and tidy and fixing bumps can only strengthen your quit in my view.
I like GHClaws' view. It works.
-
You're not on roll today. WTF?
Post roll every day. No days off. Post early, when you first get up. No other way to do it.
Thx for checking up on me. Whats the earliest I can post? I got up in London, UK this morning around 230CT and just landed in the US. Posted as soon as I got to the hotel room. All's good on day 3!!
The roll pages usually flip around 12AM New York Time. You can flip it yourself too. I recommend posting at your first waking moment after 12am eastern us time. Whether you're still up or just waking up. Get your name on roll call the earlier the better. You want everyone to see your name at the top of the list. Make sure you're not bumped. Go back in and double check that someone didn't fuck up roll and bump you or others. He'll, start fixing bumps. Every group needs trackers/bump fixers. Help keep roll tidy. There's a lot of foggy/computer illiterate people here. Helping keep roll clean and tidy and fixing bumps can only strengthen your quit in my view.
I like GHClaws' view. It works.
I watched the Sean Marsee story
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDFNqOuZ3II (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDFNqOuZ3II)
Stories like that are exactly what I've been avoiding. I didn't want to hear them, I didn't want to be scared by them - just another form of self-deception. Being able to man up and watch is another step of progression.
-
so far so good. Six day international trip and no issues. no desires. It has helped to anticipate when the bitch might show up - and then broad cast it to all. I knew day 3 could be tough with an over night in Houston and the potential to have mex food and margs. I skipped them both all together. They don't sell in London so not a real issue. Headed home to night, 9 hour flight then a 4 hour drive. Not always, but sometimes the drive will make the nic bitch show up. I feel pretty good about it this time, you never know.
So there it is, my next temptation will be tonight on the 4 hour drive home. just putting it out there some one can hold me accountable after the drive.
Other than that, I read a few more "words of wisdom" - good stuff. I'll read more as time goes on.
Have a good day and keep up the quit.
Danno
-
Yesterday was the perfect opportunity to dip. I didn't. It was a long-ass day and a four hour drive home. Normally the drive is a perfect time to dip: helps me stay awake, takes the edge off, alone time, helps me think. I can't say I didn't think about it, but I didn't cave. I feel good about that today. I had trouble falling asleep just cause I'd been on the move ALL Day and have been sleeping through 6 time zones the past 6 days and I had this coming week on my mind.
This week I need to get some investing and financial planning done for clients. Financial and investment planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there's a dip involved. In the past The opportunity to dip was motivating to sit down and do the boring work. That motivation is no longer there so I can't say I am looking forward to doing the mundane. But, I'll deal with it and before I know it I'll be dealing with the mundane nature of investment plans without even thinking about it.
Off to the gym. Press on. Keep up the quit, all.
-
"Yesterday was the perfect opportunity to dip. I didn't. It was a long-ass day and a four hour drive home. Normally the drive is a perfect time to dip: helps me stay awake, takes the edge off, alone time, helps me think."
"Financial and investment planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there's a dip involved."
Not to be a total dickhead here, but your words sound plain silly. What did putting a wad of shit in your mouth and spitting the juice into a bottle do for you when you were driving and doing financial planning? Turn the tables on dip/nicotine. Fuck dip/nicotine. Dip/nicotine was dragging your ass down. By quitting you have seriously lowered your chances of cancer and early death. Fuck nicotine. I don't need that shit and doesn't help me with a God Damned thing!!!!
-
"Yesterday was the perfect opportunity to dip. I didn't. It was a long-ass day and a four hour drive home. Normally the drive is a perfect time to dip: helps me stay awake, takes the edge off, alone time, helps me think."
"Financial and investment planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there's a dip involved."
Not to be a total dickhead here, but your words sound plain silly. What did putting a wad of shit in your mouth and spitting the juice into a bottle do for you when you were driving and doing financial planning? Turn the tables on dip/nicotine. Fuck dip/nicotine. Dip/nicotine was dragging your ass down. By quitting you have seriously lowered your chances of cancer and early death. Fuck nicotine. I don't need that shit and doesn't help me with a God Damned thing!!!!
How many days are you quit now? This is your journal. Tell us how you are feeling. Don't sugar coat anything. Lay it out and define it. (Please)
-
"Yesterday was the perfect opportunity to dip. I didn't. It was a long-ass day and a four hour drive home. Normally the drive is a perfect time to dip: helps me stay awake, takes the edge off, alone time, helps me think."
"Financial and investment planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there's a dip involved."
Not to be a total dickhead here, but your words sound plain silly. What did putting a wad of shit in your mouth and spitting the juice into a bottle do for you when you were driving and doing financial planning? Turn the tables on dip/nicotine. Fuck dip/nicotine. Dip/nicotine was dragging your ass down. By quitting you have seriously lowered your chances of cancer and early death. Fuck nicotine. I don't need that shit and doesn't help me with a God Damned thing!!!!
How many days are you quit now? This is your journal. Tell us how you are feeling. Don't sugar coat anything. Lay it out and define it. (Please)
Absolutely. I appreciate the accountability. Yesterday was like any other day that I would have normally dipped. But I didn't. What I am telling myself here is that I didn't cave when I had a clear opportunity to cave. I'm on day 7 and have had no desire to dip in the seven days I've been free.
I was never a continuous dipper so going 7 days dip free is not a huge hurdle for me. But don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying there isn't an addiction - there clearly is. However, there were only certain times / events - triggers - that I would do it. Driving home, hotel rooms and doing boring mundane shit on the computer. In the past week I have clearly confronted all three of them and have not caved.
"Financial and Investment Planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there is dip involved." I agree with you 100% - those words are plain silly - bullshit actually. That is the thought process that has the potential to kill me.
But that's also why I am here. I wasn't trying to talk myself into caving. I was reiterating my fortitude. Thats all.
-
"Yesterday was the perfect opportunity to dip. I didn't. It was a long-ass day and a four hour drive home. Normally the drive is a perfect time to dip: helps me stay awake, takes the edge off, alone time, helps me think."
"Financial and investment planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there's a dip involved."
Not to be a total dickhead here, but your words sound plain silly. What did putting a wad of shit in your mouth and spitting the juice into a bottle do for you when you were driving and doing financial planning? Turn the tables on dip/nicotine. Fuck dip/nicotine. Dip/nicotine was dragging your ass down. By quitting you have seriously lowered your chances of cancer and early death. Fuck nicotine. I don't need that shit and doesn't help me with a God Damned thing!!!!
How many days are you quit now? This is your journal. Tell us how you are feeling. Don't sugar coat anything. Lay it out and define it. (Please)
Absolutely. I appreciate the accountability. Yesterday was like any other day that I would have normally dipped. But I didn't. What I am telling myself here is that I didn't cave when I had a clear opportunity to cave. I'm on day 7 and have had no desire to dip in the seven days I've been free.
I was never a continuous dipper so going 7 days dip free is not a huge hurdle for me. But don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying there isn't an addiction - there clearly is. However, there were only certain times / events - triggers - that I would do it. Driving home, hotel rooms and doing boring mundane shit on the computer. In the past week I have clearly confronted all three of them and have not caved.
"Financial and Investment Planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there is dip involved." I agree with you 100% - those words are plain silly - bullshit actually. That is the thought process that has the potential to kill me.
But that's also why I am here. I wasn't trying to talk myself into caving. I was reiterating my fortitude. Thats all.
Great. I hear ya brother. Stay with the herd. Stay quit.
-
"Yesterday was the perfect opportunity to dip. I didn't. It was a long-ass day and a four hour drive home. Normally the drive is a perfect time to dip: helps me stay awake, takes the edge off, alone time, helps me think."
"Financial and investment planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there's a dip involved."
Not to be a total dickhead here, but your words sound plain silly. What did putting a wad of shit in your mouth and spitting the juice into a bottle do for you when you were driving and doing financial planning? Turn the tables on dip/nicotine. Fuck dip/nicotine. Dip/nicotine was dragging your ass down. By quitting you have seriously lowered your chances of cancer and early death. Fuck nicotine. I don't need that shit and doesn't help me with a God Damned thing!!!!
How many days are you quit now? This is your journal. Tell us how you are feeling. Don't sugar coat anything. Lay it out and define it. (Please)
Absolutely. I appreciate the accountability. Yesterday was like any other day that I would have normally dipped. But I didn't. What I am telling myself here is that I didn't cave when I had a clear opportunity to cave. I'm on day 7 and have had no desire to dip in the seven days I've been free.
I was never a continuous dipper so going 7 days dip free is not a huge hurdle for me. But don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying there isn't an addiction - there clearly is. However, there were only certain times / events - triggers - that I would do it. Driving home, hotel rooms and doing boring mundane shit on the computer. In the past week I have clearly confronted all three of them and have not caved.
"Financial and Investment Planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there is dip involved." I agree with you 100% - those words are plain silly - bullshit actually. That is the thought process that has the potential to kill me.
But that's also why I am here. I wasn't trying to talk myself into caving. I was reiterating my fortitude. Thats all.
Great. I hear ya brother. Stay with the herd. Stay quit.
Grizz, you are coming up on a year. Nice job and way to keep up the quit. You are an example and I appreciate guys like you taking the time to keep up with guys like me. If I say any other stupid shit let me know. That's what I'm here for. Quit On Brotha!
-
"Yesterday was the perfect opportunity to dip. I didn't. It was a long-ass day and a four hour drive home. Normally the drive is a perfect time to dip: helps me stay awake, takes the edge off, alone time, helps me think."
"Financial and investment planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there's a dip involved."
Not to be a total dickhead here, but your words sound plain silly. What did putting a wad of shit in your mouth and spitting the juice into a bottle do for you when you were driving and doing financial planning? Turn the tables on dip/nicotine. Fuck dip/nicotine. Dip/nicotine was dragging your ass down. By quitting you have seriously lowered your chances of cancer and early death. Fuck nicotine. I don't need that shit and doesn't help me with a God Damned thing!!!!
How many days are you quit now? This is your journal. Tell us how you are feeling. Don't sugar coat anything. Lay it out and define it. (Please)
Absolutely. I appreciate the accountability. Yesterday was like any other day that I would have normally dipped. But I didn't. What I am telling myself here is that I didn't cave when I had a clear opportunity to cave. I'm on day 7 and have had no desire to dip in the seven days I've been free.
I was never a continuous dipper so going 7 days dip free is not a huge hurdle for me. But don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying there isn't an addiction - there clearly is. However, there were only certain times / events - triggers - that I would do it. Driving home, hotel rooms and doing boring mundane shit on the computer. In the past week I have clearly confronted all three of them and have not caved.
"Financial and Investment Planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there is dip involved." I agree with you 100% - those words are plain silly - bullshit actually. That is the thought process that has the potential to kill me.
But that's also why I am here. I wasn't trying to talk myself into caving. I was reiterating my fortitude. Thats all.
Great. I hear ya brother. Stay with the herd. Stay quit.
Grizz, you are coming up on a year. Nice job and way to keep up the quit. You are an example and I appreciate guys like you taking the time to keep up with guys like me. If I say any other stupid shit let me know. That's what I'm here for. Quit On Brotha!
Its will all be good one day. You may even post and think you have it licked. All the sudden, it will test you. It may come from nowhere and you will have a defining moment..."Keep your word or cave?" You might think you can't battle this forever and someday or sometime you will dip again.
Here is the magic. Have numbers programmed into your phone. Make a call when you feel like this. Someday doesn't matter. Today matters and today is the day you keep your promise. So when you want to break your promise, you have to call a brother that is quit today...just like you and ask for permission to cave.
Addicts are spontaneous...this gives you enough pause to consider why you quit in the first place.
Post roll today, keep your word. (Have numbers in your phone to call when you want to cave). Win today and when you wake and its today again...post roll. You might cave tomorrow but you never need to cave today if you post roll and are a man of your word.
-
"Yesterday was the perfect opportunity to dip. I didn't. It was a long-ass day and a four hour drive home. Normally the drive is a perfect time to dip: helps me stay awake, takes the edge off, alone time, helps me think."
"Financial and investment planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there's a dip involved."
Not to be a total dickhead here, but your words sound plain silly. What did putting a wad of shit in your mouth and spitting the juice into a bottle do for you when you were driving and doing financial planning? Turn the tables on dip/nicotine. Fuck dip/nicotine. Dip/nicotine was dragging your ass down. By quitting you have seriously lowered your chances of cancer and early death. Fuck nicotine. I don't need that shit and doesn't help me with a God Damned thing!!!!
How many days are you quit now? This is your journal. Tell us how you are feeling. Don't sugar coat anything. Lay it out and define it. (Please)
Absolutely. I appreciate the accountability. Yesterday was like any other day that I would have normally dipped. But I didn't. What I am telling myself here is that I didn't cave when I had a clear opportunity to cave. I'm on day 7 and have had no desire to dip in the seven days I've been free.
I was never a continuous dipper so going 7 days dip free is not a huge hurdle for me. But don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying there isn't an addiction - there clearly is. However, there were only certain times / events - triggers - that I would do it. Driving home, hotel rooms and doing boring mundane shit on the computer. In the past week I have clearly confronted all three of them and have not caved.
"Financial and Investment Planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there is dip involved." I agree with you 100% - those words are plain silly - bullshit actually. That is the thought process that has the potential to kill me.
But that's also why I am here. I wasn't trying to talk myself into caving. I was reiterating my fortitude. Thats all.
Great. I hear ya brother. Stay with the herd. Stay quit.
Grizz, you are coming up on a year. Nice job and way to keep up the quit. You are an example and I appreciate guys like you taking the time to keep up with guys like me. If I say any other stupid shit let me know. That's what I'm here for. Quit On Brotha!
Its will all be good one day. You may even post and think you have it licked. All the sudden, it will test you. It may come from nowhere and you will have a defining moment..."Keep your word or cave?" You might think you can't battle this forever and someday or sometime you will dip again.
Here is the magic. Have numbers programmed into your phone. Make a call when you feel like this. Someday doesn't matter. Today matters and today is the day you keep your promise. So when you want to break your promise, you have to call a brother that is quit today...just like you and ask for permission to cave.
Addicts are spontaneous...this gives you enough pause to consider why you quit in the first place.
Post roll today, keep your word. (Have numbers in your phone to call when you want to cave). Win today and when you wake and its today again...post roll. You might cave tomorrow but you never need to cave today if you post roll and are a man of your word.
Mthomas. Great words. I have been there before. I've gone without it for so long so many times. But exactly like you said - BAM, all at once it's there. Right out of the fuckin' blue. I see that as my greatest threat. I've all ready got the numbers in my phone and we've been texting regularly to keep in touch with one another. And as other groups start, I will do the same with new guys and guys like yourself that I see the commitment from.
Thanks again. This is what I'm here for.
-
"Yesterday was the perfect opportunity to dip. I didn't. It was a long-ass day and a four hour drive home. Normally the drive is a perfect time to dip: helps me stay awake, takes the edge off, alone time, helps me think."
"Financial and investment planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there's a dip involved."
Not to be a total dickhead here, but your words sound plain silly. What did putting a wad of shit in your mouth and spitting the juice into a bottle do for you when you were driving and doing financial planning? Turn the tables on dip/nicotine. Fuck dip/nicotine. Dip/nicotine was dragging your ass down. By quitting you have seriously lowered your chances of cancer and early death. Fuck nicotine. I don't need that shit and doesn't help me with a God Damned thing!!!!
How many days are you quit now? This is your journal. Tell us how you are feeling. Don't sugar coat anything. Lay it out and define it. (Please)
Absolutely. I appreciate the accountability. Yesterday was like any other day that I would have normally dipped. But I didn't. What I am telling myself here is that I didn't cave when I had a clear opportunity to cave. I'm on day 7 and have had no desire to dip in the seven days I've been free.
I was never a continuous dipper so going 7 days dip free is not a huge hurdle for me. But don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying there isn't an addiction - there clearly is. However, there were only certain times / events - triggers - that I would do it. Driving home, hotel rooms and doing boring mundane shit on the computer. In the past week I have clearly confronted all three of them and have not caved.
"Financial and Investment Planning is tedious and not real exciting - unless there is dip involved." I agree with you 100% - those words are plain silly - bullshit actually. That is the thought process that has the potential to kill me.
But that's also why I am here. I wasn't trying to talk myself into caving. I was reiterating my fortitude. Thats all.
Great. I hear ya brother. Stay with the herd. Stay quit.
Grizz, you are coming up on a year. Nice job and way to keep up the quit. You are an example and I appreciate guys like you taking the time to keep up with guys like me. If I say any other stupid shit let me know. That's what I'm here for. Quit On Brotha!
Its will all be good one day. You may even post and think you have it licked. All the sudden, it will test you. It may come from nowhere and you will have a defining moment..."Keep your word or cave?" You might think you can't battle this forever and someday or sometime you will dip again.
Here is the magic. Have numbers programmed into your phone. Make a call when you feel like this. Someday doesn't matter. Today matters and today is the day you keep your promise. So when you want to break your promise, you have to call a brother that is quit today...just like you and ask for permission to cave.
Addicts are spontaneous...this gives you enough pause to consider why you quit in the first place.
Post roll today, keep your word. (Have numbers in your phone to call when you want to cave). Win today and when you wake and its today again...post roll. You might cave tomorrow but you never need to cave today if you post roll and are a man of your word.
^^^^true dat!
-
The enemy of change is relapse: falling back into old, unproductive ways of thinking and behaving. Without the momentum of emotion, relapse is the norm.
This is not a battle of logic.
-
The enemy of change is relapse: falling back into old, unproductive ways of thinking and behaving. Without the momentum of emotion, relapse is the norm.
This is not a battle of logic.
And the momentum of winning one day at a time. As well as the network of a team and your integrity in honoring your word to them and yourself.
Ain't nothin logical about spending 45k on a carcinogenic chopped up plant in a can.... But a lot of us did.
London sucks. Fyi.
-
The enemy of change is relapse: falling back into old, unproductive ways of thinking and behaving. Without the momentum of emotion, relapse is the norm.
This is not a battle of logic.
And the momentum of winning one day at a time. As well as the network of a team and your integrity in honoring your word to them and yourself.
Ain't nothin logical about spending 45k on a carcinogenic chopped up plant in a can.... But a lot of us did.
London sucks. Fyi.
LOL! I hear ya'. I'm headed back there tomorrow and then later in November. Ugh!! But as I said, they don't sell the shit there..........it's about the only thing the trip has going for it.
-
The enemy of change is relapse: falling back into old, unproductive ways of thinking and behaving. Without the momentum of emotion, relapse is the norm.
This is not a battle of logic.
And the momentum of winning one day at a time. As well as the network of a team and your integrity in honoring your word to them and yourself.
Ain't nothin logical about spending 45k on a carcinogenic chopped up plant in a can.... But a lot of us did.
London sucks. Fyi.
LOL! I hear ya'. I'm headed back there tomorrow and then later in November. Ugh!! But as I said, they don't sell the shit there..........it's about the only thing the trip has going for it.
The people there have ungly teeth and eat beans for breakfast. That is fucked up dude. Just sayin.
-
Danno,
Proud to be quitting directly with you everyday, handcuffed to you in accountability. I try to find someone new every 100 days or so to support and post with everyday to their HOF, looks like I bet on a good horse here! Truth is I've gotten a little sloppy with it and you held me accountable by texting me that my post is late and you'd be happy to post up for me. Accountability is one of the main ingredients responsible for the success of this program. Thank you for support, I quit with you!