KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: MikePA on March 15, 2015, 09:53:00 PM
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Hey guys, I've been reading articles on this forum for a while now. I have consistently come back to the forum and have recently decided to join.
My name's Mike. I've been using Cope Wintergreen and Skoal mint on and off for the past ~4 years.
I started using in high school. It was common for some of the guys to bring cans on long bus rides for our games (I played a couple of sports). This was just an occasional thing. As counter-intuitive as it may sound: I began to consistently use as a way to get away from stress in my life. My sister was diagnosed with cancer and this caused a lot of stress in my family. This is when I transitioned from a dip a week/can a month to about a half can a day. That was about 4 years ago.
Why do I want to quit?:
Besides all of the obvious reasons. I want to quit for my sister, who beat cancer. I'm serious, I was in the room when two neurosurgeons told her that if they did not operate immediately she would die - no prognosis, no 6 months, dead in weeks. Now she is doing well, but I see the effects of her surgeries, radiation, and whatever that golfball did to her brain now.
Also I have a girlfriend of several years. I've told her she's the one. When I finish graduate school, I plan to marry her. Without the damn can. I don't think she is aware of my habit. I have only recently realized how much I hide the habit from everyone around me. Only two of my buddies know. One, also chewed and has since quit. I'm using him as a resource to help. Smokey Mountain was what he used to quit.
Anyway, I've been able to quit many times. Quitting is easy for me, staying quit is where I struggle. I have quit many times, for 6 months at one point, only to see that circle in some dude's back pocket and I lose my self control. And it's right back to square one. I'm hoping that this forum will help me quit again and to remain quit.
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Hey guys, I've been reading articles on this forum for a while now. I have consistently come back to the forum and have recently decided to join.
My name's Mike. I've been using Cope Wintergreen and Skoal mint on and off for the past ~4 years.
I started using in high school. It was common for some of the guys to bring cans on long bus rides for our games (I played a couple of sports). This was just an occasional thing. As counter-intuitive as it may sound: I began to consistently use as a way to get away from stress in my life. My sister was diagnosed with cancer and this caused a lot of stress in my family. This is when I transitioned from a dip a week/can a month to about a half can a day. That was about 4 years ago.
Why do I want to quit?:
Besides all of the obvious reasons. I want to quit for my sister, who beat cancer. I'm serious, I was in the room when two neurosurgeons told her that if they did not operate immediately she would die - no prognosis, no 6 months, dead in weeks. Now she is doing well, but I see the effects of her surgeries, radiation, and whatever that golfball did to her brain now.
Also I have a girlfriend of several years. I've told her she's the one. When I finish graduate school, I plan to marry her. Without the damn can. I don't think she is aware of my habit. I have only recently realized how much I hide the habit from everyone around me. Only two of my buddies know. One, also chewed and has since quit. I'm using him as a resource to help. Smokey Mountain was what he used to quit.
Anyway, I've been able to quit many times. Quitting is easy for me, staying quit is where I struggle. I have quit many times, for 6 months at one point, only to see that circle in some dude's back pocket and I lose my self control. And it's right back to square one. I'm hoping that this forum will help me quit again and to remain quit.
Mike you badass. Welcome to the team! Just like yourself I started lurking around the site only to find myself joining the forum weeks after. This place is amazing. The community we are a part of is unbelievable. You will be able to quit and stay quit by being a part of the squad. I'm young like you and I've realized people wish they were us. Ok you get the point. Here's what you need to know about ktc: 1) post your roll every morning before breakfast(early as possible) 2) keep your promise for the day 3) stay in touch with other forum members 4) check in throughout the day 5)Don't be "that guy" this means don't be that guy who says he's quit when he's not serious, you're here for a reason, it's time to quit you know it, I know. Keep your word.
Here is the link to the welcome center, reading these articles will help you get to know your way around the site:
forum/55560/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/forum/55560/)
After that find your quit group post roll and introduce yourself, that's where you and your brothers of nic kickers will be taking a drive in a low rider over consistent potholes. It's a long bumpy road but with them you can do it. Your quit group is where you post your daily roll call. The link to the quit groups:
forum/55566/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/forum/55566/)
Well you've got it from here. Read the welcome center and learn your way around. Get as many phone numbers/emails/whatever and stay in touch with other quitters throughout the day. Check your inbox shortly, I'll send you my number, USE IT. We are quitting together Mike. Best of luck!
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That's why I joined. Thank you for the immediate reply. I'll take a look at both of those. You guys are overwhelmingly on top of your game. This forum is what I needed when I quit before. It would have kept me from buying that can after 6 months clean.
I have done a lot of reading over the past few months on here. I have noticed that I am probably considered very young. I'm 22, graduating college this year and moving to grad school next year.
As much as I would like to say I have quit, right now I still have some nicotine gum. It doesn't count as quitting. I'm still feeding the addiction. I've got ~30 pieces. Should I still post roll or should I wait until I am completely nicotine free? I'm weaning myself down right now.
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That's why I joined. Thank you for the immediate reply. I'll take a look at both of those. You guys are overwhelmingly on top of your game. This forum is what I needed when I quit before. It would have kept me from buying that can after 6 months clean.
I have done a lot of reading over the past few months on here. I have noticed that I am probably considered very young. I'm 22, graduating college this year and moving to grad school next year.
As much as I would like to say I have quit, right now I still have some nicotine gum. It doesn't count as quitting. I'm still feeding the addiction. I've got ~30 pieces. Should I still post roll or should I wait until I am completely nicotine free? I'm weaning myself down right now.
Quit cold turkey. It's hard but it's gotta happen. Dump the gum and start your quit now. Why wait? You're only putting it off longer. Face it you're addicted and you need to stop. Dump the gum and post roll tomorrow morning.
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That's why I joined. Thank you for the immediate reply. I'll take a look at both of those. You guys are overwhelmingly on top of your game. This forum is what I needed when I quit before. It would have kept me from buying that can after 6 months clean.
I have done a lot of reading over the past few months on here. I have noticed that I am probably considered very young. I'm 22, graduating college this year and moving to grad school next year.
As much as I would like to say I have quit, right now I still have some nicotine gum. It doesn't count as quitting. I'm still feeding the addiction. I've got ~30 pieces. Should I still post roll or should I wait until I am completely nicotine free? I'm weaning myself down right now.
Quit cold turkey. It's hard but it's gotta happen. Dump the gum and start your quit now. Why wait? You're only putting it off longer. Face it you're addicted and you need to stop. Dump the gum and post roll tomorrow morning.
If you are using NRT then you are not quit. Do what GB said. Get rid of the gum. I used for a long time. 381 days ago I said enough of the BS. Instead of gum get yourself some seeds, atomic fireballs, mints, or even fake chew. I used Smokey Mountain my first 70 days. It helped but it seemed too close to the real thing so I quit that too.
Join the club. Dump all your nicotine and post in June 15, otherwise come back after you really quit.
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You guys are right. So post role in June 15th?
Raider I see you just hit 1 year. Congrats man.
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Welcome, Mike!!
I love that you're thinking about your sister and I'm glad she's doing well! But quit for yourself! It's the only way it'll work. QUIT HARD!! Learn to HATE that nicotine bitch! Post role every damn day and do it early! Make that promise to yourself and to your brothers before you do anything else! Wake up, piss, post role!!
Glad you're here and I'm damn glad to be quit with you today!
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What's up Mike?
Noticed you were on the sight this morning with no post.
You ready to flush the gum?
Let's post role and get off the poison.
It is not helping you. You know it deep down in side..
Life is better without it.
You can do this. And your age doesn't have anything to do with it.
It's not easier to keep your word and have integrity at 22 or 52.
If you need help posting or have questions.. Reply to my message in your inbox.
Let's do this.. Let us help you.
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What's up Rawls?
I was trying to figure out how to post role this morning.
I know you're right. It's only trading the addiction. After I posted on here last night, I packed everything in a bag and dumped it at a gas station. I brought my girlfriend back with me. I won't dare use it around her. Having her around has helped to keep my mind away from it. I have both a physical block and a living breathing reason right in front of me to give it up.
Also I'll check out your pm. I'm bouncing between my phone and my laptop trying to get acquainted with the site.
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What's up Rawls?
I was trying to figure out how to post role this morning.
I know you're right. It's only trading the addiction. After I posted on here last night, I packed everything in a bag and dumped it at a gas station. I brought my girlfriend back with me. I won't dare use it around her. Having her around has helped to keep my mind away from it. I have both a physical block and a living breathing reason right in front of me to give it up.
Also I'll check out your pm. I'm bouncing between my phone and my laptop trying to get acquainted with the site.
Welcome Mike - Rawls is arguably the reason I am still here. He was a massive part of my ongoing quit. I hit day 40 todayÂ….seems impossible just 40 day ago.
When you post up quit, please PM meÂ…I'll be glad to give u my number and whatever support I can provide.
This is 'deep end of the pool' type shit here, so hang on.
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What's up Rawls?
I was trying to figure out how to post role this morning.
I know you're right. It's only trading the addiction. After I posted on here last night, I packed everything in a bag and dumped it at a gas station. I brought my girlfriend back with me. I won't dare use it around her. Having her around has helped to keep my mind away from it. I have both a physical block and a living breathing reason right in front of me to give it up.
Also I'll check out your pm. I'm bouncing between my phone and my laptop trying to get acquainted with the site.
I'm up trying to get you quit for life.
Going off your intro : You "stay" quit by building relationships with other addicts that understand what your going though in life.
You will either lean on chemicals.. Or you will lean on relationships in life. Here we lean on each other every day early in the morning. Whether positive or negative life events one Truth to understand is that nicotine can NEVER make things better.
You don't need it.
It's not fun.
It helps nothing.
You sound pretty solid... Let's learn to post roll and see how solid you are on keeping your word?
We're gonna push you because we care.
I too have family with cancer.. You can read about in my intro.
Thanks for the pm.. Let's learn to post roll and start building relationships in June with the Goons,
I quit with you today, and I respect your decision to go cold turkey.
Rawls
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Thanks guys. I'm trying to find your intro rawls and I can't believe the number of introductions in the last ~7 days. There must be 50+ introductions.
So I've got to know a few of you tonight. Tomorrow I'll post roll. I'm in for the long haul now.
Edit: I read your intros. Lots of information in those.
Rawls, do you still own the dealership? I'm big on SK tools (not so much on snapon). I do have a few snap on tools though.
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Thanks guys. I'm trying to find your intro rawls and I can't believe the number of introductions in the last ~7 days. There must be 50+ introductions.
So I've got to know a few of you tonight. Tomorrow I'll post roll. I'm in for the long haul now.
Edit: I read your intros. Lots of information in those.
Rawls, do you still own the dealership? I'm big on SK tools (not so much on snapon). I do have a few snap on tools though.
Yes sir.. PM
Figure out roll call in the morning. Don't worry about messing it up. You will get better at it. Directions are on the list page in June 2015 quit group.
Go here.. topic/10990123/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/10990123/)
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I screwed up where I put my roll this morning. I signed it under other support. Anyway I'll figure out how to get better at that.
Today sucks. I knew it would. 1st day without is never bad for me - 2nd and 3rd are bad. I feel empty. I feel hungry and eat but I'm not satisfied even though I'm stuffed. Nic blows. Gotta ride the roller coaster down the hill before you can get up the next hill.
Went to a motivational management speech this morning. Ready to take on the world and become a business executive. Then went to my histology course. GO figure: we talked about the oral cavity today. In particular oral cavity simple squamous epithelial carcinomas (among others). We discussed the frequency of metastasis in these cancers.
What does this mean? That's the type of cancer frequently associated with smokeless tobacco. Overall, these cancers are relatively rare.. but what I really took to heart today, if you get one of these. You are screwed. They're difficult to diagnose, difficult to distinguish, difficult to treat and have a high metastasis rate (which makes them malignant). I'm not going to lie this lecture scared the shit out of me.
Day 2 is complete is 2 and a half hours. Almost past the brick shit-wall of 72 hours.
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I screwed up where I put my roll this morning. I signed it under other support. Anyway I'll figure out how to get better at that.
Today sucks. I knew it would. 1st day without is never bad for me - 2nd and 3rd are bad. I feel empty. I feel hungry and eat but I'm not satisfied even though I'm stuffed. Nic blows. Gotta ride the roller coaster down the hill before you can get up the next hill.
Went to a motivational management speech this morning. Ready to take on the world and become a business executive. Then went to my histology course. GO figure: we talked about the oral cavity today. In particular oral cavity simple squamous epithelial carcinomas (among others). We discussed the frequency of metastasis in these cancers.
What does this mean? That's the type of cancer frequently associated with smokeless tobacco. Overall, these cancers are relatively rare.. but what I really took to heart today, if you get one of these. You are screwed. They're difficult to diagnose, difficult to distinguish, difficult to treat and have a high metastasis rate (which makes them malignant). I'm not going to lie this lecture scared the shit out of me.
Day 2 is complete is 2 and a half hours. Almost past the brick shit-wall of 72 hours.
Nobody cares that you screwed up Roll. Main thing is that promise was made! Being scared is good but eventually she will talk you over your fears! Stick with rawls. Text him anytime you need something, he will help you if you show him your giving it your all! Pm me if you need anything! Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend!
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I screwed up where I put my roll this morning. I signed it under other support. Anyway I'll figure out how to get better at that.
Today sucks. I knew it would. 1st day without is never bad for me - 2nd and 3rd are bad. I feel empty. I feel hungry and eat but I'm not satisfied even though I'm stuffed. Nic blows. Gotta ride the roller coaster down the hill before you can get up the next hill.
Went to a motivational management speech this morning. Ready to take on the world and become a business executive. Then went to my histology course. GO figure: we talked about the oral cavity today. In particular oral cavity simple squamous epithelial carcinomas (among others). We discussed the frequency of metastasis in these cancers.
What does this mean? That's the type of cancer frequently associated with smokeless tobacco. Overall, these cancers are relatively rare.. but what I really took to heart today, if you get one of these. You are screwed. They're difficult to diagnose, difficult to distinguish, difficult to treat and have a high metastasis rate (which makes them malignant). I'm not going to lie this lecture scared the shit out of me.
Day 2 is complete is 2 and a half hours. Almost past the brick shit-wall of 72 hours.
Nobody cares that you screwed up Roll. Main thing is that promise was made! Being scared is good but eventually she will talk you over your fears! Stick with rawls. Text him anytime you need something, he will help you if you show him your giving it your all! Pm me if you need anything! Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend!
Ironically the professor, who is a Ph.D/MD and a priest give us a 10 minute break for our 2 hour lecture while he goes and smokes.
I can't help but ask this. PAB are those your initials? I had an advisor with the same initials and about the same age. I'm assuming you were born in 1964. He told me he used to work for a tobacco company...
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I screwed up where I put my roll this morning. I signed it under other support. Anyway I'll figure out how to get better at that.
Today sucks. I knew it would. 1st day without is never bad for me - 2nd and 3rd are bad. I feel empty. I feel hungry and eat but I'm not satisfied even though I'm stuffed. Nic blows. Gotta ride the roller coaster down the hill before you can get up the next hill.
Went to a motivational management speech this morning. Ready to take on the world and become a business executive. Then went to my histology course. GO figure: we talked about the oral cavity today. In particular oral cavity simple squamous epithelial carcinomas (among others). We discussed the frequency of metastasis in these cancers.
What does this mean? That's the type of cancer frequently associated with smokeless tobacco. Overall, these cancers are relatively rare.. but what I really took to heart today, if you get one of these. You are screwed. They're difficult to diagnose, difficult to distinguish, difficult to treat and have a high metastasis rate (which makes them malignant). I'm not going to lie this lecture scared the shit out of me.
Day 2 is complete is 2 and a half hours. Almost past the brick shit-wall of 72 hours.
Nobody cares that you screwed up Roll. Main thing is that promise was made! Being scared is good but eventually she will talk you over your fears! Stick with rawls. Text him anytime you need something, he will help you if you show him your giving it your all! Pm me if you need anything! Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend!
Ironically the professor, who is a Ph.D/MD and a priest give us a 10 minute break for our 2 hour lecture while he goes and smokes.
I can't help but ask this. PAB are those your initials? I had an advisor with the same initials and about the same age. I'm assuming you were born in 1964. He told me he used to work for a tobacco company...
Lol! Nickname short for pabo. You getting this done?
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Haha nevermind. It just rung a bell. I remembered seeing PAB on everything.
Today is day 4. Coffee now has the jolt I remember just a few short years ago. Holy shit. Two cups and I was shaking a bit this morning. I normally drink 2-3 throughout the morning and the third one normally gives me a small jolt. Today, the second one made me feel like I drank a glass of espresso.
Had a small freak out this morning. I had a big meeting today (many smaller meetings leading up to this). I didn't receive an email with some important attachments from my last meeting. That mixed with 2x the caffeine response I'm used to caused a small panic attack. I got through it but it was the closest I've come to caving so far.
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Haha nevermind. It just rung a bell. I remembered seeing PAB on everything.
Today is day 4. Coffee now has the jolt I remember just a few short years ago. Holy shit. Two cups and I was shaking a bit this morning. I normally drink 2-3 throughout the morning and the third one normally gives me a small jolt. Today, the second one made me feel like I drank a glass of espresso.
Had a small freak out this morning. I had a big meeting today (many smaller meetings leading up to this). I didn't receive an email with some important attachments from my last meeting. That mixed with 2x the caffeine response I'm used to caused a small panic attack. I got through it but it was the closest I've come to caving so far.
Caving is not an option! Put on your big boy britches grab your sac and man up! Yes you have seen me on here alot, reason being I give a shit about you and anyone who wants to live! I'm all about cutting up and having fun but this part of it is about life and death! Damn proud to be quit with you my friend! Just an addict trying to help another addict! Pm me for number, if you want
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Haha nevermind. It just rung a bell. I remembered seeing PAB on everything.
Today is day 4. Coffee now has the jolt I remember just a few short years ago. Holy shit. Two cups and I was shaking a bit this morning. I normally drink 2-3 throughout the morning and the third one normally gives me a small jolt. Today, the second one made me feel like I drank a glass of espresso.
Had a small freak out this morning. I had a big meeting today (many smaller meetings leading up to this). I didn't receive an email with some important attachments from my last meeting. That mixed with 2x the caffeine response I'm used to caused a small panic attack. I got through it but it was the closest I've come to caving so far.
Caving is not an option! Put on your big boy britches grab your sac and man up! Yes you have seen me on here alot, reason being I give a shit about you and anyone who wants to live! I'm all about cutting up and having fun but this part of it is about life and death! Damn proud to be quit with you my friend! Just an addict trying to help another addict! Pm me for number, if you want
And when that was happening, who did u reach out to? Not me broÂ…nothing. And thats no problem. But hopefully you reached to someone.
This site is a wonderful asset.
Use your resources.
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Thanks guys. I should have reached out. Luckily I didn't have enough time to even attempt to cave. So just being busy kept me away long enough for the craving/desire to pass.
Everyday feels a little better though. Even though I spend a disproportionate amount of my day thinking about everything I once enjoyed and fighting it... I feel this incredible sense of ease, freedom, and a little bit of happiness.
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Thanks guys. I should have reached out. Luckily I didn't have enough time to even attempt to cave. So just being busy kept me away long enough for the craving/desire to pass.
Everyday feels a little better though. Even though I spend a disproportionate amount of my day thinking about everything I once enjoyed and fighting it... I feel this incredible sense of ease, freedom, and a little bit of happiness.
Don't be romancing about dipping brother! Learn to hate it! You will realize some day what it's stolen from you! Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend!
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Mike, proud to be quit with you TODAY!
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Had a big meeting today too. Luckily, I was having a good day. You have my #, use it if you need me. Proud to quit with you.
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Just an update here. The weekend was terrible. I found out that just being at home is a giant trigger.
We went out to my buddy's for some target practice cowboy (skeet/trap shooting). I really thought about the dip as we started loading up the side-by-side. Once we started pulling triggers I forgot dip ever existed. That was the first time this weekend I got away for a couple of hours.
Now that the weekend is over - I feel significantly better. "The first three days" lasted about a week. I still get mad cravings in the early morning but they die out as the day goes on.
I can't remember the last time I forgot about dip for 6 hours. It happened today. I can see the symptoms of withdrawal getting better.
Proud to quit with you guys.